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Jungkook was out of it for the past week. The other members were starting to get concerned. He wouldn’t stop practicing as he desperately tried to distract himself from the pain.
“Jungkook, you gotta take it easy.” Jimin stopped the music that was blasting at 2am in their practice room. “If you need to get it off your chest, I could listen. Your body’s at its limit.”
Jungkook was only looking at Jimin, panting as he looked up with his hands on his waist. He was trying to stop the tears from flowing.
“What did I do wrong hyung? How could Y/N do that?” Jungkook bit his shaking lips, in the attempt stopping himself from breaking down.
“I’m sure she had her reason–”
“What reason can justify cheating?!” He shouts before covering his face as he fell on his knees. He couldn’t control his sobs and Jimin wasn’t able to do anything but hug the maknae.
Deep down his anger was more of guilt. Jungkook was blaming himself for not being enough which led to y/n turning to another man. Maybe he wasn’t as present as he should be, and that was his shortcoming. He continued to hate himself for it, the pain inside nearly killing him, both emotionally and physically. He pushed his body to its limits, working out and practicing non-stop as he pairs it with diet, or more like he never really had the appetite ever since that day.
It was two weeks of tour, and Jungkook wasn’t able to call or message y/n. Every night, for a week and 5 days, y/n continued to message him.
Good morning!
Don’t skip meals. Do you best, Kookie-yah. I’ll always be cheering for you.
Rest well, jagi. Give yourself a break from time to time. love, your number one fan.
Good night. I’ll be going to sleep now. Rest well
By the time Jungkook got his phone, it was already too late, or he’d be falling asleep halfway through his reply. He felt bad about it all, but he said he’d make up for it once they get back to Seoul.
When the messages suddenly stopped coming, he got worried. It was too abrupt. Was everything okay?
He tried to make a call, but it only rang twice before their manager called him asking for a group meeting. It was yet time to move as they go from one venue to another, practicing-performing-practicing. It was so tiring.
“We got one day earlier than expected! I’ll go to you ASAP!” Jungkook excitedly messaged y/n that he’ll be coming over. He regretted it on the way though, because that messaged spoiled the surprise he initially thought of as he was too excited to keep it in.
“Y/N–” Jungkook excitedly barged in with this spare key into y/n’s apartment when he saw a guy on her couch. “Jeonghu, what are you doing here.”
Jeonghu, y/n’s classmate, who was also showing interest in her despite knowing she was already taken. Why the hell would y/n let him enter her apartment?
“Spent the night here. Her bed’s real soft–” Jungkook wasn’t able to keep his temper as he grabbed Jeonghu’s shirt and raised him to his toes.
“Jungkook, stop.” Y/N hurriedly went in as soon as she saw the commotion. Her eyes were swollen, and bloodshot red.
“Did you–” Jungkook was choking in his tears, trying to deny whatever’s coming into his mind with his whole body. “Did he spend the night here?” Jungkook asks. When y/n nodded, she didn’t have any time to explain before Jungkook stormed out the door.
.
.
-2 weeks later-
“Hey, cheer up, will you?” Minji grunted as she talks to her best friend, y/n. “You did that to yourself. Stop moping.”
“It’s not like he’d listen to me. Besides, no matter what I did, what choice I made, he’d only get hurt.” y/n muttered, sipping her drink. The coffee shop Jungkook loved to bits was painful to stay at, but you’d want to keep the fond memories as much as you could. Silent tears fell as she missed Jungkook’s laughs.
“Alright. Too much reminiscing isn’t doing you well. Let’s go.” Minji says, standing up as she drags her best friend with her.
When they were about to leave the coffee shop, the door opened Jungkook entered with Jimin and Taehyung.
There was a moment of silence for both group. Y/N saw Jungkook’s state and she suddenly regretted having to deal with the matters the way she did. Jungkook has lost so much weight in such a short period of time and his eyes were swollen and dark.
“Jung–”
Before she could even mutter any words out, Jungkook walked past her and the two boys followed with a pursed-lipped smile.
“I think he should know the truth,” Minji says, looking at y/n as they left the coffee shop.
“It’s better that he hates me. It’ll be easier for him to get over me once I’m gone.”
“What’s the truth?” Jimin suddenly asks from behind.
The color from y/n face suddenly drains as she saw Jimin. She was unable to speak, and Minji wasn’t in the place to tell so she kept quiet as well.
“Y/N, please. Jungkook’s really not doing well. He’s abusing himself to the point that he’s been hospitalized twice in the past 2 weeks.”
A sudden wave of guilt flows through y/n’s veins. She cries, covering her face.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry Jimin. Please. You have to take care of him. Don’t let him do that to himself. Help him move on from me.” Y/N practically begged but Jimin couldn’t understand why.
Her tears showed just how much she still cares for Jungkook, but why is she pushing him away.
“Did you really sleep with another guy, y/n?” Jimin asks, but Minji’s hand was quick to answer, slapping it across Jimin’s face.
“You know better than to ask that question, Park Jimin.” Minji was fuming. Her best friend was suffering and yet, everyone kept doubting her. She has been the kindest, most sincere person she has ever met in her entire life but y/n was now being accused because she never speaks up. “Just tell him already, y/n!” Frustrated tears start to well up in Minji’s eyes.
“Stop i–” before y/n could finish her sentence, everything turned black and all she heard was muffled screams.
.
.
As y/n awoke, she took notice of her surroundings. Everything was white.
“Am I dead already?” she muttered to herself, closing her eyes.
“Don’t die on me.” Minji cried on her side, shaking her lightly. She didn’t want to go away with her loved ones hurting like this, and y/n didn’t intend for anyone to know. y/n wanted to leave as quietly as possible, but Minji found out because of Jeonhu.
Jeonghu, who accidentally found out when he brought his mother to the hospital, never left y/n’s side no matter how many times she pushed him away.
“What are you doing here, Y/N?” Jeonhu asked.
“Nothing.” she says, hiding some papers behind her back. He was bigger than her, thus having longer limbs were used to his advantage to snatch up the papers from her.
-Dialysis Reports-
Most medical terms were unknown to Jeonghu, but the red font was never a good sign.
“Is there something wrong with your kidneys?” Jeonghu says, abruptly looking at y/n.
“Kidney.” She corrected. “I only have one left. I donated the other to my sister a few months ago.” her voice was now shaking. “I have to stop my dialysis now. My kidney isn’t responding to the treatment because it’s not what it needs. It’s been infected during the operation and now I only have a month to live.”
“Have you told your parents?” Jeongu’s thoughts were a mess. What was he to do now?
“They already have too much on their plate with my sister’s medical fees.”
“How about Minji?” he knew they were inseparable. “Your boyfriend?” he asks but she shook her head.
“You can’t let them know. Promise me. This will be the first and last thing I’ll ask from you.” y/n says.
“BUT WHY?!” Jeonhu shouted in frustration but y/n didn’t even flinch.
“It’s my only selfish request. I don’t want to leave them crying. I’d be much happier to leave them hating me, so that they could get over losing me quickly as well.”
“Jungkook– wait.” Jimin was outside their door, and Y/N’s eyes looked abruptly at Minji.
“You didn–”
“Jimin was there when you fainted. He brought you here to the hospital and he didn’t let me leave without explaining.” Minji answered. “This selfish request of yours that you asked Jeonhu, really wasn’t well thought of. Listen to what Jungkook has to say.” Minji stood up, wiping y/n tears before opening the door and letting Jungkook in.
“Go easy on her, Jungkook ah. She only meant well.” Minji says before taking her leave, dragging Jimin with her.
As the door closed behind Jungkook, y/n couldn’t take her eyes off of him. Jungkook approached her with tear-stained cheeks.
“Jimin filled me in with the details,” Jungkook says softly, making y/n close her eyes.
“Jeonghu said those words because I–” y/n tried to make out the words but her sobs choked her. “I never cheated Jungkook. You really are the only one I love.”
“I know.” Jungkook smiled as he approached her side.
Y/N looks down as she desperately tried to choke in her sobs.
“Idiot. Do you realize the pain would be far greater once I’ve learned the truth and was not able to do anything about it? That I would spend the rest of my life resenting myself for leaving your side for something you never did, and how I will never be able to make it up to you because you were already gone?”
Jungkook's words made her realize what Minji said before leaving the room.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She continued to apologize as she broke down in tears. Jungkook hugged her, crying with her. The two weeks apart felt like forever for the couple. They held each other until both had stopped crying.
Jungkook was the first to let go, cupping her cheeks in his warm hands.
“Next time,” he sniffs. “Don’t let Jeonhu in your apartment, even if he only slept on the couch. Got it?”
“Jeonghu came with Minji and they were supposed to keep me from hurting myself but Minji had an emergency so she had to leave—”
Y/N got cut off with Jungkook’s lips pressing on hers ever so lightly.
“Then call me. I’d leave my tours for you.” Jungkook says with a soft smile. “I love you, Y/N. I know I don’t say it much, but I really do.”
Y/N swelled in happiness.
“I love you too, Jungkook ah.”
*****
A Year Later
BTS were preparing for their last stage. Jimin looked for Jungkook as they only had 10 minutes before they need to get on the stage. He found their youngest in the corner of the room, singing softly to a picture on his phone.
Before we say goodbye, let go
But I’m lost in the maze of my heart
From stereo to mono
That’s how the path splits
In order to release your hand right now
I gotta let you know that I need to let you go
Hard to say goodbye
But I can’t run
I’m ready to let go
I’m ready to let go
I’m ready to let go
Jimin couldn’t help but cry for him. Jungkook asked for a month’s leave from promotion to stay by Y/N’s side ever since he knew the truth. Up to y/n’s very last breath, Jungkook never left.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’ll try fulfilling my promise now.” Jungkook mutters as he kissed his phone with Y/N’s smiling face lighting up the screen. “I’ll let go and start afresh. Watch over me, my love.”