Work Text:
When thrown into the depths of developing his next project, the nation’s most illustrious, — albeit the most elusive programmer, was every bit the artificial intelligent he designed; — frightfully ingenious, exceedingly capable, painstakingly meticulous, — and terribly out of this world, in every sense of the word. On days like these, it was forgettable that Moon Ha Won was only human…
From the moment he stepped into the office this morning, he had barely strayed far from his desk. Once he got into the momentum of things, his concentration and tenacity was near impossible to break. The adroit programmer would have happily submerged himself in work with absolutely no concept of time whatsoever, — had it not been for his longtime friend and deputy, Kim Hoon’s persistent rapping of his knuckles to his desk, demanding for his attention.
“What are you still doing here? We don’t hand out Most Dedicated Employee of the Year award to the CEO, just so you know…” his friend mocked teasingly.
Computer-strained eyes blinking owlishly behind the spectacle looked up uncomprehendingly at the man, “… Wh- what time is it now…?” he asked, voice dry and scratchy from the lack of use in the past couple of hours, — as Ha Won finally took in the darkness that has set around him.
Tossing a quick glance at his watch, “15 minutes to eight…” Hoon duly replied.
Absently tearing the gold wire-framed glasses from his face with practiced ease, eyebrows bunched together in a weary frown as he pinched the bridge between his tired eyes, “Is it going to be eight already?… didn’t realise the time…”
Hoon tsk-ed incredulously at the apathetic reply.
But then again, to be able to keep Moon Ha Woon this preoccupied at work these days was no easy feat. Therefore, one couldn’t really fault the curiosity piqued in Hoon to ask, “What have you been working on secretly the whole day? Hardly anyone saw you outside of your office today… did you even have lunch?”
The enigmatic programmer merely disregarded his friend’s sudden interest without so much as batting an eyelid as he nonchalantly stretched to rid his wiry body of stiffened kinks. It escaped him completely that he had been glued to his desk since his last trip to the pantry for coffee two hours ago.
“And you?… What are you still doing here?” Ha Won countered, though he was asking more out of courtesy than interest as he moved unhurriedly around to clear his desk for the day.
“Final dry run for tomorrow’s medical conference presentation that you refused to attend, remember?” Hoon glowered at the reminder, — which he could begrudgingly tell that the aloof CEO had conveniently forgotten all about it from his carefully schooled expression.
“Best of luck tomorrow…”
“You’re a piece of work, Moon Ha Won…” Exasperation was evident even though Hoon kept an impassive tone, “Now get your ass out of here. Don’t you have to go home to Seo Woo-ssi already?”
His profound affections for her was no secret as a smitten smile stretched across his face at her name. All the fatigue that was weighing down on him seemed to have faded into nothingness at the thought of the petite sound engineer.
Looking back, he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was that attracted him to her, or vice versa. Somehow, even before she even knew who he was, when all he was to her was just a random stranger she called Before Dawn, — it was inconceivable to believe that their encounter was anything less than fate. Ulterior motives might have served as the catalyst of their unlikely relationship, but he had to be lying if he said that the attraction wasn’t mutual.
Before, it was unthinkable wanting to cherish another person who wasn’t Kim Ji Soo. He had loved Ji Soo for the longest of time that it was unimaginable for death to even negate his feelings. Mulish obstinance had him foolishly hanging onto a delusional piece of her through a device that wasn’t even really Kim Ji Soo. If it weren’t for Seo Woo-ssi, instead of reconciling and accepting her departure, he would still be imprisoned in denial.
For loving him unconditionally despite his unhealthy obsession, Han Seo Woo was the salvation he didn’t deserve but could not live without. Because she was there for him, with him through ups and downs, — that he was now able to look back without hurting anymore. As long as she was there by his side, the uncertainties laid ahead of him was no longer a cause to fear.
Her very existence to him, — however unintentional initially, has become undisputedly indispensable ceaselessly.
Having her a part of his life for the past three years, was nothing short of bliss.
The first year they were together, she would still alternate between the house they affectionately referred to as baesongji, and Eun Joo’s homestay. But as days progressed to months, her stay became longer; — one night became two, one week to the next. Although he was not one to openly express it, Ha Won was immensely pleased when more and more of her personal belongings were finding permanency in his household.
Upon learning that he had left his apartment vacant, Soon Ho hijacked the unit in no time and renewed the lease under her own name by the end of their second year. Strangely enough, in the process of moving out his stuffs, he discovered another inexplicable pleasure in finding a forever-home for his ousted possessions alongside hers. His smile could not be wider these days when he finds her indoor slippers next to his everyday upon returning home, or her toothbrush lined up side-by-side his on the vanity top of their shared bathroom.
But none made him happier than to see this photo of his younger self with his mom adjacent to the picture of her and her parents, — openly displayed on the console table in their living room.
And for the cherry on the cake, Seo Woo recently put an end to his needless worrying when she finally agreed to move out of her cold and damp semi-basement, and in with him; — making all things temporary, permanent.
The once stark and impersonal house on Wokin-dong, was now filled with warmth and life.
It finally, became a place they called home.
Life was perfect, as it was.
But Moon Ha Won wanted more…
As soon as he made certain that Hoon had left and no one else was left on the office floor, the young founder of AH Laboratory discreetly retrieved a dainty black velvet box from his drawer. Even though fully cognizant of what rested within, an irrepressible smile still graced his lips as he carefully pried open the box to reveal its impressive content, — a made-to-order brilliant cut round diamond on platinum band, that was too small to fit any of his lithe fingers, — but just right for the one intended.
Yes, Moon Ha Won wanted more.
More than just a person who would share his bed, his house, his life, — he wanted Han Seo Woo legally a member of his family. He wanted her as his significant other the better half that completed him.
And it wasn’t a spur of the moment spontaneity either. From the moment he told her to stay with him, that no one else would be using the blanket in his bedroom, — he meant every word he said in every sense. He had no intention of letting anyone else use what he had determined to be hers.
Only her.
With the design to commit a lifetime together, all that was left for him to do, — was ask. Carefully placing the box in his inner pocket, he exited his office wondering if today might just be the day.
It wasn’t until he was halfway across the secret passage behind the Norwegian winter forest digital screen, did realisation struck him that he hasn’t so much as heard a beep from his phone the whole day. Reaching into the pocket of his long coat to check, — neither was the phone silenced nor were there any calls missed or any messages unread. The absence of any notification itself was strange as Seo Woo liked sending random texts as much as receiving them. So, not hearing from her the whole day was anything but ordinary.
Apprehension crept uneasily down the back of his head despite optimistically decided not to think of the worst until he could actually hear from her.
His call rang far longer than it usually would before she finally picked up. And even then, there was a foreboding hesitation on her end.
“Seo Woo-ssi…?” he started, “… Where are you?”
“…at the studio…”
Something was amiss.
The hesitant reply and distant despondency in her voice unsettled him. He knew her well enough by now to know when something was upsetting her. And the sniffles she was trying to muffle from filtering through the call couldn’t be a more blatant giveaway.
Anger was an emotion foreign to him as it would take a great deal to make him angry. But her distress was something he would not abide for.
It took great pains to moderate his state of mind not to alarm her, but urgency prevailed as he prodded further for an answer from her, “Seo Woo-ssi… is everything all right?”
“Don’t worry… I’ll be home soon…” she diverted, hoping to brush off his concerns.
However, it would take more than that to deflect him, “No, Seo Woo-ssi… stay where you are. I’ll come in the car to pick you up…”
When her end of the line went silent for a full half a minute, Ha Won’s blood ran unpleasantly cold with trepidation as harrowing memories of their brief parting clawed at his mind. Being apart from her once, was an experience he couldn’t care to repeat, — ever.
“Seo Woo-ssi…? Seo Woo-ya…!”
“I’ll be home soon…” she repeated distantly. And while she was quick to cut short his call without so much a goodbye, the muted struggle to contain the onslaught of sobs did not escape his keen hearing.
Baffled beyond words could describe, he was suddenly overtaken with the need to go to her. Her current disposition right now reminded him a lot of the times Seo Woo internalising all the sadness and hardship she felt. He knew she hated troubling anyone with her problems, but it terrified him even more to think that she might do something rash and hurt herself. Until he could ascertain her well being, peace of mind would continue to elude him, as his ground-eating strides covered the distance to his car with expedited haste.
Throughout the 30 minutes drive, Ha Won ransacked every inch of his brain trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong, but found himself maddeningly inconclusive. The only thing that came to mind was the fact that for as long as he could remember, Seo Woo had always been unusually withdrawn about this time, every year. Yet having said that, she had never truly told him the significance, — only that sentiments got the best of her during this time of the year and told him not to worry.
But telling one not to worry, did not make one worry any less.
And it wasn’t as if he didn’t try putting aside his concerns per her request. In the past, she often returned to her effervescent self the very next day, that he tried not to let it bother him. But this time, the depression was the worst he has seen of her yet. And it wasn’t something Moon Ha Won was willing to ignore any more.
Exiting his parked vehicle, Ha Won was immediately assaulted by Misiryeong Sunset playing resoundingly all the way from the studio, throughout the surrounding neighbourhood. In itself was not odd; what was strange — was the piece blaring away irresponsibly at this inopportune hour of the night.
Brows furrowed in perplexity as he followed the music up flights of stairs to the second floor, where he was taken aback by his next surprise, — Han Seo Woo was no where to be found in the recording studio.
Dread stemming from his earlier qualms gave rise to panic as he scoured every inch of the building for her. “Seo Woo-ssi? … Seo Woo-ya…! Answer me if you are in here …”
Ha Won didn’t stop searching until sounds of heartbreaking sobs filtered in between the piano intervals, stopping him short in front of Soon Ho’s nursery office. Cautiously peeking in, he finally found her, — sprawled haphazardly on the floor as she hammered away at her own chest with every anguish sob wrenched out of her.
The disheartening sight of her immersed in vehement sadness halted him in his step completely. His legs wouldn’t take him further, nor would his hands turn the handle, — despite longing to go right in and hold her.
“… every year I promised that it would be the last time… every year I told myself not to let tears fall anymore… I would have taken it to the grave with me… but I never expected… never expected it to be this hard…” — he heard her confessed through the overwhelming grief.
It both angered and saddened him to find out that whatever it was that was troubling her, she chose to suffer needlessly alone instead of confiding in him. She had always been careful in sharing only the good with him while keeping the bad to herself, — which frustrated him to no end when all he wanted was for her to lean on him, depend on him for more than just the good times.
Ladened with disappointment, Ha Won could only continue to watch over her silently from outside the office.
“… I was the one who refused your request…” Snippets of her revelation made absolutely no heads nor tails to him, “… I was the one who chose not to forget you… I pledged that if Ha Won forgets you… I’ll remember you enough for the both of us… But Ji Soo-ssi… the more I remember… the more it hurts…”
Rendered dumbfounded, Ha Won didn’t know which shocked him more, — the fact that Seo Woo was crying inconsolably because of Ji Soo or she was still hurting after all these years. And worst of all, he was the oblivious one. Like a slap to his face, Ha Won was suddenly overpowered by the sense of unworthiness being called the closest person to her.
Releasing his tightly clenched fist, he traced the outline of her silhouette with faltering fingers against the glass pane, “… Why didn’t you tell me…?” inaudibly, he whispered, — a question that broke his heart to ask.
It exasperated him immensely that he could do nothing but remain rooted at the door and quietly watch over her as she continued to cry ceaselessly, — until it finally seized her delicate frame into a hyperventilating convulsion, gasping desperately for air.
At that very moment, — all reasoning be damned, Ha Won broke free from the self-imposed spell and propelled his anchored body forward into the room, prostrating promptly on his knees as he enfolded her firmly in his arms.
Embracing from behind, “Easy, Seo Woo-ya… breathe…” he murmured soothingly by her ear as he crossed an arm around her front to place two fingers beneath her ear to feel the racing pulse. Pressed steadfastly against his chest, he wanted her to feel his solid presence, his heart beating steadily against her back; — a reminder that she wasn’t alone, will never be alone, — that he was here for her, always.
“… Ha… Ha Won-ssi…?”
“Hush… don’t talk. Just let me hold you…” Lulling his precious person in his fold, Ha Won consolingly hushed her broken sobs.
He lost track of time cradling her.
Even when her ragged breathing regulated, he didn’t let go of her.
“… I’m sorry I’m weird…” she habitually apologised, burying her tear drenched face against the crook of his arm.
Pressing a reassuring kiss against the back of her head, “You say that all the time… but you are not weird. It is not weird for you to feel sad. It’s not weird for you to cry when you are sad… Only, — I wished you would tell me why…” Ha Won said patiently.
“… I… I-…” she started but the deep-seated sorrow had once again stolen her ability to speak.
“… Don’t force yourself if it’s too hard…” he conceded. His already tormented heart would not be able to withstand another bout of tears.
They remained on the ground with him holding her tightly still without even an inch of give, — until Seo Woo eventually broke the silence.
“… Three years ago… I unintentionally stole Ji Soo Device from your apartment…”
If Ha Won was startled by her confession, he didn’t show; only absently stroking her forearm, a silent gesture to remind her that no matter what, he would still be here, — as he waited for her to continue.
“… I was going to return it… but it laid forgotten in the drawer of my desk ... until one day, it got turned on by accident… Somehow, Ji Soo-ssi… — Ji Soo realised that… she realised that… she had… she had already died…” Seo Woo fought to say the words through fresh stream of tears falling from her eyes.
Realising where this conversation was headed to, Ha Won dragged a shaky breath behind her. But he made no move to stop her from pouring her heart out, — not when she was finally ready to get it off her chest to tell him.
“She told me… she told me to get rid of her, — the device… she told me… — told me to forget about her… At that time, I was torn… I didn’t know what to do… It was bad enough that I was the last person to speak to her… the last to hear her… before she —…” Seo Woo struggled with the words lodged in her throat, “… And having to ‘destroy’ her once again although she was nothing more than just a device… was just—…”
‘No less of an act of murder, — psychologically speaking…’ he concluded the unspoken words ruefully to himself.
Tightening his hold, — for all the smarts he had, he thought that he was the one who couldn’t let Ji Soo go. It never occurred to him that Ji Soo and Seo Woo’s brief friendship held such depths; — that his terribly empathetic girlfriend was still aggrieving Ji Soo’s death to-date.
“Why didn’t you ask me…?”
Smiling amidst the tears, “Ji Soo and myself agreed that it would have been too much for you…”
“And it’s not for you? — Seo Woo-ya, my silly girl…” he said, kissing atop of her crown tenderly. Somehow, pieces to his earlier puzzle were falling into place, “… Is this the real reason you went away on your own three years ago, — the problem you mentioned that was you, when what it really was a cruel request from Ji Soo?”
“I was the one who robbed the love you had for her, for my own… This is retribution for my selfishness for loving you…” Seo Woo admitted in a small quivering voice.
‘Survivor’s guilt’ — will always be a logic Ha Won can never comprehend.
Why punish the living for surviving?
Why should Seo Woo suffer for loving him?
Trying to reign in his frustration, Ha Won carded his fingers through his hair impatiently, “So… did you destroy the device in the end?”
Flinching from the heat of his vexation, she hesitantly shook her head, “… I didn’t… I couldn’t… I tried, but I-… I couldn’t in the end. I tried asking Eun Joo unnie for a hammer or something… but I still couldn’t…”
“Then, what did you do with it…?”
Turning in his arms, Seo Woo looked at him with tear-filled forlornness in her eyes, — no different from a resigned death row inmate awaiting the guillotine. Wordlessly, she rose unsteadily on her two feet with Ha Won balancing her every step as she led him to the flower pot where she buried Ji Soo Device.
“The real Ji Soo was already dead… I just couldn’t destroy Ji Soo Device…”
Confoundedly blinking at the pot, “So... you buried it here…?”
Seo Woo nodded. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have made such arbitrary decision. I know how important Ji Soo was to you… You’re right. This device should have been yours to deal with…”
After all the emotional rollercoaster they just went through, the incredulity of the scenario had Ha Won bubbling with laughter. All that devastation pouring from her heart, — all because of a medical assistive conversation device he designed out of his own egocentric interest…
How absolutely absurd this turned out to be!
Confused by his reaction, “Ha Won-ssi…?” she broached tentatively.
Struck by a sudden inspiration, he wrapped an arm securely around her waist as he led her out through the studio and into his car. He kept mum despite Seo Woo’s questioning, but the reassuring smile remained plastered on his lips throughout the entire journey to his old apartment.
No doubt surprised to say the least, Soon Ho had a temporary meltdown when they barged in uninvited on her having a candlelight dinner with Kang In-Wook-ssi. Seo Woo apologised profusely for their abrupt intrusion, but Ha Won was too busy rummaging through the storage room to be bothered with his niece’s affair. And as quick as whirlwind, they left the apartment as swiftly as they entered, — with Ha Won Device in his hand.
Of all the things he moved to Wokin-dong, Ha Won Device was one of the very few things he didn’t bother to pack along; more than likely because he had no need for it anymore. He didn’t need a device to tell him what he felt or what was truly hidden in his heart, — he was certain of his own feelings, now more than ever.
And clearly, the point of his reaction today, was no longer thunder, — nor even Kim Ji Soo.
Upon returning to the studio, Ha Won led her with his hand in hers back into the nursery, where he took Ha Won Device and planted it next to Ji Soo Device.
Once satisfied with the devices firmly buried in the overcrowded pot, Ha Won enveloped Seo Woo in his arms again, “Seo Woo-ya, my sweet girl… I only want you to remember one thing, — that the Ha Won who loved Ji Soo is now all in the past. That Ha Won is now buried in this pot together with the Ji Soo that is nothing more than just a device now… I have learned to let go… and so must you….”
Dumbly, she nodded in return as renewed flood of tears threatened to fall from her red-rimmed eyes.
“I’m not saying to forget all about her… Ji Soo will always be a part of our memory. But to commemorate Ji Soo on her death anniversary is more than enough. I don’t want you to mourn unnecessarily on this day again…”
Swiftly, he turned her towards him. He wanted her to see the truth in his eyes with every word he was about to say,
“I never want to see you cry again… never want to see the hurt in your eyes… You didn’t steal anything from Ji Soo… This love I have for you, — is for you, and you only… I want you to always remember that you are important to me. So, love yourself as much as I love you…
The past is in the past. Moving forward, together we will inundate the tear-filled memories with happier ones… Starting with today —”
Pulling the box out of his jacket, he popped it open for her to see the sincerity of his conviction within.
Arrested by the unexpected turn of event, Seo Woo was too dumbfounded to move, barely daring to even breath as he slipped the ring where it was meant to be, — on her finger.
“Seo Woo-ya… I want you as my wife, my family, — not anyone else…
I want you, Han Seo Woo… Will you have me…?” he asked with bated breath.
Droplet of tears fell so quickly, they barely left any trace on her flushed pink cheeks. “…Am I allowed to keep this happiness…? Can I really love you…?”
Relief washed over him as he unhesitatingly drew her in towards his shoulder, “Yes, Seo Woo-ya… yes, you can…”
“… I love you, Moon Ha Won…” Her desperation muffled against his coat, but he heard her loud and clear nonetheless.
Withdrawing a little to frame her comely face in his hands, he ran a thumb under each of her doll-like eyes, catching the falling teardrops with his fingers. “I, too — love you very much, Han Seo Woo…” Ha Won whispered back as he lowered closer towards her to capture her luscious lips in his.
Yes, he loved this woman from the moon and back.
And nothing, — will change that…
-.-.-.-///-.-.-.-
Careful not to jostle the bundle in his arms, tired eyes squinted at the clock in their bedroom, — 4:10 a.m. it read.
Ha Won smiled as he turned his attention towards the warm body snuggled securely against his chest. If she wasn’t already exhausted from all the crying before, he made absolutely certain that she would be too tired to awaken before the sun could rise.
Taking her ringed hand in his, he placed it right above his heart on his bare chest. Even in her sleep, he wanted her to feel his heart beating for her every minute, every second. He wanted her to feel safe in his presence, that he would allow nothing in his power to hurt her, to sadden her; — it was a promise he was determined to keep.
Keeping watch of Seo Woo as she slept peacefully in the crook of his arm, — wearing nothing but the emblem of his love on her hand,
“Stay, Seo Woo-ya… never leave me… Until our time runs out, — stay with me…”
-.-.-.-///-.-.-.-
Epilogue:
Not finding Moon Ha Won in the office was nothing new; life went on, work got done. Nothing was amiss in AH Laboratory. Everything was functioning as per usual, — until a sharp sound of ceramic breaking against the concrete floor interrupted the normalcy.
Rush of footfalls hurried to the scene of incident, — some out of concern, but mostly out of nosiness. Except, all they found standing in the remnants of a shattered mug at his feet, — was their deputy CEO staring ridiculously agape at his phone.
Being amongst the few first to arrive, Jin Hwan anxiously had to ask, “What happened?!”
Hoon didn’t even bothered to look up from his phone, “… Moon Ha Won…” he answered in complete daze.
Perplexed by the reply, — or lack of thereof, “Chief Ha Won? — Why? What’s wrong with Chief Ha Won?”
“… He texted to say that he won’t be coming into the office for some time. Told us to carry on without him…”
“Is he working on another top secret project?”
Finally giving the younger member of their staff his attention, the deputy marveled at how eloquently Jin Hwan described Ha Won’s earth-shattering text to him.
Scoffing, “Yes, he is…” he replied in cryptic sarcasm.
“Awesome! Can’t wait for it. Any hints on what it might be?”
“Just one, — his wedding…”