Chapter Text
It was a normal day for Tommy as he left his apartment and headed over to his favourite spot for a quick bite to eat. He didn't have any work scheduled until the evening, and so he could relax until it was time for him to go get his hair and makeup done.
He was sitting at his favourite table at the rear of the cafe where it was nice and quiet. Tommy picked at his food with one hand while the other held his phone, his eyes only flitting occasionally from the screen to check what he was about to put in his mouth before returning to the battle he was in the middle of.
It was only when he heard a heavy sigh near him that he glanced up.
"!!!" Tommy jumped in surprise at seeing an elderly man in a tan coloured suit and hat sat directly across from him.
"Hello. May I help you?" Asked Tommy nervously while pausing his game and setting down his phone.
He'd definitely never met the man before, as he would remember such an intimidating aura. Yet the man didn't seem like a fan either, so what could he want?
The man looked at Tommy and shook his head as if disappointed in what he saw.
"It's hard to believe you're the same person," said the man softly before meeting Tommy's eyes. "Today is your lucky day Mr. Sittichok Pueakpoolpol, I was sent here in order to give you a rare chance to rid yourself of your life's deepest regret."
"Huh?" Tommy wondered if the old man was trying to pull some new kind of con on him. "Sorry but I don't have any deep regrets."
The elderly man's face wasn't amused by the response, but he continued, "On your deathbed forty years from now, there is one deep regret you just can't let go of, preventing you from ascending to where you are meant to go."
Tommy was starting to get worried after hearing the man mentioning his deathbed, and he subtly began typing a message for help on his phone. - Jimmy hurry up! Where are you? - he quickly sent via line. They were meeting at the cafe before going to look at getting new phones.
"Because you did so many kind and charitable acts throughout your life, the gods decided to grant you a chance to free yourself from the regret hindering you from moving on peacefully." The man told him. He didn't sound as if he approved of the decision.
"So, what is my regret? I can't imagine doing anything so bad it would still bother me after forty years." Since Jimmy would be there soon, Tommy felt no harm in playing along to keep the stranger happy. Plus he found it strange the old man assumed he'd believe he'd be on his deathbed at the age of sixty six.
His response brought a smirk to the old man's face. "Boy, you think people regret the things they DID as they die? Wrong! The biggest and deepest regrets that linger are almost always what a person didn't do."
"So what is it didn't I do that I regretted up until death?" Asked Tommy trying hard not to roll his eyes. He was curious what the man would come up with.
"For you Mr Sittichock Pueakpoolpol, it was a simple matter of not confessing your true feelings to your most important person. Claiming you were too scared to accept how you'd felt back then, but even after understanding your own heart, you didn't admit it for fear of being judged, rejected, and losing the career you'd worked hard for. So you denied your real feelings for that person to everyone, sometimes even to yourself. You said you continued to deny it even after it was too late to say, and you were left with nothing but a devastated heart."
Tommy was confused and nervous by the man's words. Why would a con man be talking about confessing love and hiding feelings? Just who was this man? And what did he want?
"Karn Kritsanaphan, or "Jimmy", was the name you told me. You said you regretted not saying the right things back in February this year; that evening after filming when he told you his feelings for you were more than just love for a friend or brother. At the time you'd laughed it off, telling him he was merely confused because of the characters you were playing, and they weren't his feelings but the character's. You tried to make his feelings seem obsolete, even though you too felt more than friendship for him. But even though you regretted that moment, you said you wouldn't change it as the timing wasn't right." The man leant back in his chair and adjusted his hat slightly. "Your true regret was that you continued to hide and reject both his and your own feelings even after the show you were filming had ended."
Tommy wasn't laughing. How could he know Jimmy confessed to him back in February? Could he really have guessed that? Or was this a prank? Was there a camera filming them somewhere? He thought back to that night. They had definitely been alone when they'd talked after leaving the set, he'd checked. Had someone overheard somehow? He definitely didn't tell anyone about it, and Jimmy wouldn't have said anything .
"Who told you such a thing happened?" Tommy asked while furrowing his brows. He knew con men always try to get you to confirm their guesses, and he wasn't playing.
The old man leant forward and looked Tommy straight in the eyes, "YOU did," he said.
"Impossible!" hissed Tommy. He dared not raise his voice and draw attention to his table.
"Look, I'm just here to tell you your life's biggest regret, and give you a chance to release yourself from its burden before it's too late, so you won't have to carry it with you until death and beyond." The man straightened the front of his tan suit jacket. "Whether you choose to repeat the same mistake, or choose to change things, it's up to you. All I request is no matter the choice made, you still live a life doing kind and charitable deeds as before."
Many confused thoughts and feelings were swirling through Tommy's mind, but he managed to think of a few questions that might expose this old man's words.
"You are claiming I held on to this regret for 40 whole years? Then why didn't I just tell Jimmy at some point? If I truly regretted not telling him how I felt, are you saying I was stupid enough to hide it all that time without just admitting it?" Considering how many times he'd come close to confessing his true feelings in the past few weeks, he felt it impossible to have hid it for decades.
The old man adjusted himself in his chair as if uncomfortable at having to answer the question. Tommy knew it. There must have been someone who'd overheard his and Jimmy's conversation and told others.
"I'm not sure if I should tell you this, but I personally feel it's something you should know in order to understand the depth of your regret. Plus, you knowing shouldn't change anything."
Tommy felt a sudden dread fill him, but he couldn't understand why. It was like he just knew he was about to hear something he didn't want to, and yet he couldn't bring himself to get up and walk away.
The old man leaned over the table slightly and told Tommy in a quiet yet deafening voice, "It wasn't that you didn't choose to tell him in those 40 years, but because you couldn't. He'd already left you and this world behind. Which was why your regret ran so deep for all those years. You'd denied your feelings and let him leave never knowing how you really felt."
The man's words chilled Tommy to the bone. What was he saying? What did he mean Jimmy left him and the world behind? The man's eyes and words had been unwavering and firm, as if speaking absolute truth.
The man sat back in his chair before continuing. " Personally, I believe it was probably the shock and heartbreak of losing him so suddenly that led you to do so many good deeds later, and in turn gave you this rare chance to change things."
"What are you saying right now?" Tommy's voice trembled as he asked. This man was starting to make him angry as well as scared. "You make it sound like Jimmy's going to die or something."
The old man raised a brow. "Was I not clear on that? I can't tell you the details, but I will tell you the time you have left to free yourself from a lifetime of regret isn't long. There's a year at most before you'll be resigned to live out the same fate again, though it may be shorter than that. If you know too much then you'll try to change things."
"Why are you telling me these things? Do you think I'm actually going to believe you?" Tommy leant back in his chair and glanced down at the new message on his phone. Jimmy was still ten minutes away.
"It's your choice whether to believe me or not. The consequences are for you alone to bear either way. Though you did tell me to mention a few things in order to convince you, but I feel a bit uncomfortable saying them."
"What? Just say it already. You had no problem telling me my best friend is going to die just a moment ago," snapped Tommy. Even if this man was an elder, he was crossing the line here.
The man coughed and leaned forward once more, fixing his eyes on Tommy. "You joined the army to toughen up and straighten out your heart and mind because you were scared the real you wasn't good enough. But then you met Karn, and the tough guy image you'd built crumbled because he made you feel it was okay to be your true self, and that people would accept the real you."
Tommy's expression told the man he still wasn't buying it, and so he continued, "You told me your heart had fluttered from the first time he kissed you, but you brushed off your shyness and confusion as nervousness. You also said the two days you spent filming at the beach in was one of your fondest memories with him, as you could love, hug and kiss him openly through your character, but only your character. His obvious affection for you during those moments made you feel guilty and sad, yet at the same time happy."
The old man showed a disapproving expression as he went on to say, "Despite having such strong feelings for each other, you denied his for you, and yours for him out of fear of ruining your image and career." The old man coughed and frowned before beckoning Tommy to move closer, as the last few things weren't something that should be overheard. "There's another memorable time you asked me to speak of..."
Tommy was shocked. The blood drained from his face as the old man whispered into his ear. Hearing a stranger tell him something incredibly personal that no one but him could know about, as he'd been completely alone in his apartment at the time, was chilling to the bone. Sitting back stiffly, Tommy felt as though his mind and memories had been invaded after hearing the man speak.
Every word the old man had said regarding him was true. He had trampled on his own and Jimmy's feelings in order to stay safely as friends. Only to be forced to deal with the extent of his feelings when forced apart from Jimmy for over a month. He'd learnt "Distance makes the heart grow fonder" was indeed an accurate statement. The first two weeks he had nearly gone crazy not being able to see and have Jimmy near, but eventually he'd managed to box his overflowing feelings away. By the time they finally reunited, although awkward at first, it seemed both his and Jimmy's hearts had had enough time to cool off and start over as friends. Well, that's how he made it appear on the surface at least.
"Well, I've told you all you asked me to, and all you need to know. What you choose to do with the information is up to you. It's your life and future after all," said the old man as he rose to his feet. "I shall see you again in 40 years then."
"Huh?" Tommy had been listening, but was also lost in the chaos of his thoughts. When he turned to see the man, he'd already vanished. Jumping to his feet, Tommy looked around the cafe, but there was no sign of the old man in the tan suit. Slumping back into his chair, he slid his fingers into his hair and held his head while trying to make sense of everything that had been said. Could what the old man said really be true?