Archive of Our Own

1

Taehyung

“Jeongguk?” The said maknae looked up at the sound of Taehyung’s voice, a frown immediately marring his face as he saw the state his hyung was in. His eyes were puffy and red, still a little damp around the edges from where Taehyung had very obviously been crying recently, and it took all he had for Jeongguk to not burst into tears right there and then at seeing Taehyung just so… upset. 

“Hyung? Are you okay?” 

Taehyung simply sniffled in response, dropping himself down into the empty spot next to Jeongguk on the couch and burying his head into his hands as his shoulders shook. The younger wasted no time in leaning over, wrapping his arms around Taehyung and pulling him towards his chest, clinging on to him in as tight of a hug as he could without actually hurting him.

“What’s happened, Tae-hyung? What’s wrong?” 

Taehyung’s voice hiccupped in his throat, but this time he did reply. “People are tweeting us complaining that I’ve ‘changed.’ Apparently I used to be so happy and jumpy and excitable all the time and they’ve noticed I’ve stopped doing that. They’re saying that fame is going to my head, that I don’t care about them anymore and I’m just bored and grumpy because I don’t want to be in front of cameras. But…but that’s not the case, right?” Taehyung’s voice cracked as he asked the question, and Jeongguk had to blink the tears away from his own eyes. “That’s not the case, I-I haven’t changed. Yeah I’m not the same person I was at debut, but we’ve all grown up, we’ve all changed. I-I can’t be that happy-go-lucky person all the time! We’re tired, we’re stressed, I can’t always be smiling and happy! We’re allowed to have down days, right Gguk? We’re allowed to not always be okay! B-But that doesn’t mean people have to rip into us and judge us! Don’t they realise we’re human? We’re not this perfect plastic doll for them to do whatever they want with!”

Jeongguk waited for a minute, listening as Taehyung dissolved back into sobs and buried his face into Jeongguk’s shirt. His heart broke for the older, he knew just how cruel some of the comments they got could be, he avoided social media for the longest time because of it. He was sure people were mad at him for how little he spoke to ARMY on their various platforms, but it was easier to protect himself.

But Taehyung didn’t deserve this, he didn’t deserve to be so upset over just some Antis.

“Hyung, hyung it’s okay.” Jeongguk tried, his voice low. “It’s alright, okay? You haven’t changed, you just grew up like we all did. I promise you, those comments are just a minority right? The anti’s always scream louder than our ARMY do, the negative is always easier to pick up because they strike us harder where it hurts. But our ARMY greatly outweigh them, right? The people who love you, our fans, they just want the best for you. I’m sure the majority of them are a little concerned, but that isn’t always a bad thing. We can be weak in front of them, we’ve cried in front of them how many times? It’s going to be okay, hyung. We love you so much, ARMY love you so much, and those comments don’t mean anything. You can’t let them get to you, or it’ll just overwhelm you. Yeah?”

Taehyung took a shaking breath, pulling away and looking up at Jeongguk’s face with a small smile. It wasn’t his usual large, boxy smile that lifted everyone’s heart every time they saw it. No, this one was much smaller, much simpler, much more reserved. Reserved only for the people Taehyung was closest with. It was a true smile, not that his usual wasn’t genuine, but this one was soft, real, more than just a persona.

“Y-yeah… how’re you so good at this, Gguk? You’re meant to be the maknae, you’re not allowed to be all knowing and reassuring.”

Jeongguk frowned in playful annoyance, shoving Taehyung’s shoulder so the older laughed while falling away from him. “Ya! You get my shirt wet and then tell me off for comforting you? That isn’t fair, hyung!”

Taehyung simply laughed more, pouncing forward and wrapping his arms around Jeongguk’s waist and pinning him back down into the couch, wiping his teary, snotty face more into the youngest’s shirt. “Take it all! Take all my upset, all over your shirt! Now what are you going to do, huh? Can’t fight your hyung, it’s disrespectful after all!”

Trying to not gag at knowing exactly what had just been smeared all over the shirt, Jeongguk pushed Taehyung away again, sitting up and trying to control his own laughter.

“See, hyung, that’s the thing…”

Taehyung stopped, looking at the maknae with a grin and a tilted head. “What’s the thing?”

“This isn’t my shirt, I stole it from Yoongi-hyung.”

Taehyung paled.

Maybe the negative comments were the least of his problems.

2

Jimin

When a fist knocked against his bedroom door, Jeongguk immediately knew from the slight hiccupping sobs, from the weight being shifted from foot to foot and altering the light streaming under the door, that Jimin was stood on the other side, waiting for him to open up.

He hated the fact that he knew Jimin’s breathing patterns when he was crying so well that it wasn’t even a question in his mind who it was.

“Jiminie-hyung, come in, it’s alright.”

At Jeongguk’s words, the door slowly swung open and Jimin made his way into the room, and seeing the older’s face didn’t make him feel any better. Jimin looked like he’d been crying for hours, cheeks grubby with tears that had flowed over them far too much and the bags under his eyes made far too pink with irritation.

“Can…Can I talk to you?”

Jeongguk frowned in response. “Of course you can, you don’t need to ask Hyung. Come sit down.”

Jimin didn’t need to be told twice as he hurried over to the bed, throwing himself next to Jeongguk without a second thought and burying his face into the younger’s pillow.

“It isn’t fair.”

“What isn’t fair?” 

Jeongguk watched as Jimin took a second to gather his thoughts before sitting up a little, breathing deeply as if attempting to not burst into more sobs as he talked about whatever had gotten him so upset.

“Chinhae-hyung was just… so mean today. After today’s solo practice, he scolded me for not trying hard enough. He said my footwork has been really messy and I’m moving more robotic than normal. But…but I’m trying my hardest, Jeongguk. I am, really! I’m trying really, really hard! B-But I’m just so tired, we’ve been working so much recently, we’re always preparing something, learning something, travelling somewhere, performing something… I-I’ve barely slept in days, and now I can’t even dance! I’m meant to be good at dancing, Jeongguk, I’m meant to be really good at it. And now I can’t even do that right! What’s wrong with me, Ggukie? What if this is it now? What if they notice that I’m not as good as they thought I was and they kick me out? I-I don’t know what I’d do without you guys, you know? You six and our ARMY have been my life for nearly 7 years now! I-I don’t know what I’d do without you all, b-but I might have to find out! If I can’t get my footwork sorted, they’re going to kick me out, I won’t be part of the group anymore. I-I don’t know what I’m going to do…!”

With his venting over, Jimin promptly burst into tears again, and Jeongguk wasted no time in sitting up straighter and pulling the smaller member closer to himself, wrapping his arms around him and rocking him gently.

Jeongguk didn’t exactly know what words were coming from his lips as he attempted to soothe the older, rocking back and forth while mumbling small reassurances to Jimin in an attempt to calm his choking sobs. But he didn’t want to rush Jimin either, he didn’t want to force Jimin to act okay when he wasn’t, he had to let the older ride it out in his own time instead of trying to force it to pass fast for his own comfort.

By the time Jimin’s sobs had died down into shaking breaths and trembling hands, Jeongguk’s skin felt numb on his palms from the friction of constantly stroking Jimin’s shirt and he was losing sensation in his left leg from how the older was lying on him, but Jeongguk wouldn’t change a thing about the past hour. Apart from maybe making it so Jimin hadn’t felt so bad he hadn’t had a breakdown, but that was more of a given than anything. He was always happy to comfort his hyungs.

But the older was very obviously exhausted as he lay against Jeongguk, still awake but with heavy eyes as he both mentally and physically recovered from breakdown.

“Feel better, Hyung?” Jeongguk asked with a small smile, moving a little to be able to properly see the others face.

“Yeah, Gguk, thank you.” 

Jeongguk’s smile just grew as he carefully moved around, wincing a little at the sensation of pins and needles flooding his leg as he moved Jimin to be leaning more against his chest than his leg so blood flow could return. “Talk to Joon-hyung, okay? See if he can get you a few days off. I know it’s scary to ask, but you need to look after yourself, okay? You need to sleep more, I know we’re busy but we’re not robots, we all need a break sometimes. Your physical and mental health will thank you if you can get a day or two off to just relax and sleep, I promise. And Joonie-hyung is going to understand that you need it. Once you’ve gotten some proper sleep, your focus will start coming back and you’ll be able to dance better. That’s all it’s going to be, hyung. You’re not going to get kicked out of the group, you’re too important to all of us, and to ARMY, for that to happen. Maybe Chinhae-hyung was a little harsh, but I’m sure he didn’t mean to be. He can just be a bit…crabby sometimes, right? I’m sure he’ll apologise in a few days, especially if he didn’t mean for it to come across the way it did.”

Jimin stayed quiet for a moment, before his tired face morphed into a smile. “Alright, Ggukie. Thank you… you always help me. How do you do that?”

“You’re my hyungs, it’s my job to make sure you’re okay.”

“It’s meant to be the other way around.”

“Eh, either way.”

Jimin grinned at the response, sitting up properly and rubbing the grit in his sore eyes that had formed from all the sobbing, before he turned back to the maknae, hesitance obvious in his features.

“…Yes, Hyung?”

“Will you come with me to talk to Namjoon-hyung about those days off?”

“Of course I will.”

3

Namjoon

Jeongguk was barely awake as the couch suddenly moved underneath him, a weight flopping down beside him and disturbing the doze he’d fallen in to. He hadn’t really been meaning to go to sleep anyway, but the drama’s slow drawl of noise on the tv ahead of him had started lulling him before he’d noticed.

But his attention was soon being drawn to why he’d been awoken, the person who had thrown themselves beside him.

“Sorry, Gguk, did I wake you up?” Namjoon asked, not making eye contact with the younger. Jeongguk studied his face for a minute, the leader obviously wasn’t feeling great, but he couldn’t tell if it was a physical issue or not. Namjoon didn’t appear to be in any pain, but he certainly was struggling with something.

“No, Joon-hyung, I’m awake. Are you okay?”

Namjoon just sighed loudly, letting his head tip back over the cushions of the couch as he stared blankly at the ceiling. Jeongguk stayed silent though, letting Namjoon gather his thoughts as best he could. He couldn’t push him too far after all, he couldn’t force the older to talk, but he could be there when he was ready to. 

“How… how do you deal with the pressure everyone puts on you, Jeongguk? You always seem to manage it so well, people have expected so much of you since you were so young, and yet you seem to cope with it just fine. How do you do that? How do you just… deal with that pressure and keep going?”

Jeongguk frowned a little, moving his gaze up to the ceiling to copy the leader as he leaned back. “It’s… not as simple as that, Hyung. I don’t deal with it very well, and I don’t deal with it alone. I know despite all the pressure, that I have people who have my back and will understand when I’m not perfect, when I’m not golden. I’ve had a lot of breakdowns over the pressure of being perfect, but… but sometimes you just need to ride them out, and get them over with to feel okay again.”

Namjoon moved his gaze over to the youngest, running a hand through his hair as he frowned. His blonde hair had already been knocked out of the style it had been in that morning, and Jeongguk assumed that the leader had been running his hand through his hair a lot that day.

“You’ve been having breakdowns? Why don’t I know about this?”

“Because you don’t need any more pressure on you, Joon-hyung. I’m alright, see?” Jeongguk gave a smile to try and prove his point. “Me not going to you doesn’t mean I see you as any less of a leader by the way, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t have another thing to worry about on top of everything else right now. But…what’s bothering you, hyung? What are you feeling so pressured about? Maybe I can help?” 

Namjoon shook his head, moving his gaze back up instead of looking at the maknae, and Jeongguk didn’t mistake the tears that had started gathering in Namjoon’s eyes. His heart broke a little at the sight, had he caused that? Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned the fact he got upset over pressure too, especially since he didn’t tend to go to their leader for it.

“Hyung, you can tell me, it’s okay.”

“Jeongguk, you just said you don’t come to me because you don’t want me to feel any more pressured, how can I then unload on you when you’re feeling the same way?”

“Because I’m asking you to, Hyung.”

“Okay, so how about, if I tell you, you have to promise to come to me next time you’re struggling too.”

Jeongguk hesitated for a second, before nodding. “Okay, Joon-hyung, I promise.”

Namjoon then smiled a little, before continuing. “It’s nothing huge really, it’s just… people see me as this perfect leader, but they don’t see all the stress that goes behind that. I have to always be on top of everything happening, I have to always be there for everyone and always know what to do, and sometimes it just… isn’t that easy. I love all six of you, but I swear I’m going to be losing my hair before I’m 30 from stress. Then our company expects so much of me too. I just… I can’t be everywhere at once. I can’t look after everyone all the time and make sure I’m okay and keep on top of my own schedules. I’m terrified about cracking under the pressure, of not being able to cope anymore and just throwing everything away. I don’t want to do that, I don’t want to throw everything we’ve worked for down the drain. But I don’t know how to healthily cope either.”

“The easiest thing to do Hyung, is just… take things one day at a time.” Jeongguk turned to Namjoon again, giving the older a small smile of reassurance as he did. “Right? You can only take things one day at a time, roll with the punches as they come to you, and know tomorrow is always a new day. You only have to take one step at a time, and although we’re all pains in your ass, you have 6 other people to shoulder that pressure with you, right? Seokjinnie-hyung will never let you suffer alone, he always helps you in controlling the rest of us. Hobi-hyung and Yoon-hyung too, they’ll always help you when you need it, even if they’re playing up themselves. TaeTae and Jiminie will bend over backwards to make your life better too. You don’t have to do all of this alone, you don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your own shoulders. We have your back.”

Namjoon smiled a little, but it didn’t stop Jeongguk noticing the few tears that had trailed down the older’s cheeks. “You help a lot too you know, you’re always here for us to talk to. I don’t think any of us can thank you enough for that.”

“You all raised me, the least I can do is return the favour by listening to you all when you need me.”

“You’re a good kid, Jeongguk.”

“Thanks, Joonie-hyung.”

4

Hoseok

When Jeongguk woke up, he wasn’t sure quite when Hoseok had climbed into the bed with him during the night. Almost all of them had their own rooms now, Hoseok being one of the only two to still share as he was with Jimin, so when another member climbed into bed with him, it was rarely Hoseok doing that. Normally, if the older needed comfort, he’d go to Jimin since there was less distance to travel.

But regardless, when Jeongguk had first felt consciousness pulling at his eyelids, one of the first things he was aware of was the arms around his waist and the face buried into his neck. The second thing he was aware of was that it was still dark outside, it wasn’t morning yet.

“Hobi-hyung…?” Jeongguk questioned, his voice was still thick with sleep and confusion, but he still recognised the weight beside him.

“Sorry, Jeongguk,” Hoseok replied, but Jeongguk was instantly more awake at the tremble behind the words, becoming increasingly aware of the dampness against his skin. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t, how long have you been here…?”

“About an hour now, sorry.”

“Stop apologising, Hyung.”

Jeongguk shifted a little, moving in Hoseok’s grip to be facing the older rapper instead so he could see his face. Hoseok looked miserable, the puffy red eyes a rare sight on their happy sunshine, but not one that Jeongguk had never seen before. Upon realising Jeongguk could see his face now, Hoseok tried to hide his face, burying it in the pillow below him instead of looking at the maknae.

“What’s wrong…?”

“I don’t know.”

Jeongguk knew that feeling all too well, being upset but not knowing exactly what had triggered it. But regardless, Jeongguk pulled a hand up and started threading it through Hoseok’s hair, stroking it back in an attempt to soothe the older as best he could.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say.”

“Then just talk.”

Hoseok gave a shaking sigh, lifting his face out of the pillow again to look at Jeongguk a little better. Jeongguk tried to keep his expression neutral, he didn’t want to scare Hoseok away by appearing upset at the situation, but he couldn’t help the concern leaking into his gaze.

“I hate this.”

“What do you hate, Hyung?”

“I hate being like this. I hate it when my mental health just…dips. I can’t control it, I can’t stop it from happening. It doesn’t happen a lot but when it does I just… I feel so useless. I’m meant to be the sunshine of the group, I’m meant to be making everyone else happy. How can I be your Hope when I can’t stop crying over nothing? How can I be there for everyone else when I’m not okay myself? I hate it, and I hate being like this. I’m meant to be okay. I’m meant to be happy. It’s expected of me, and I let everyone else down when I’m not.”

Jeongguk shook his head a little at the words, never once stopping the comforting thread of fingers through Hoseok’s sleep mussed hair. “It’s okay to not be okay, you know? None of us think any less of you when you’re down. Mental health is…complicated, Hyung. We all love you, so much, all six of us. Whether you’re happy, hyper, bouncing off the walls and grinning without a care in the world, or if you’re crying in bed because the weight of the world is just too heavy today. We love you either way. You have to be kinder to yourself, you’re not letting everyone down. You’re only human, hyung.”

“But it isn’t fair, and I hate it.”

“I know, but it’s okay. It’s natural. Everyone had bad days, right?”

“But I’m not meant to have bad days.”

Jeongguk sighed a little, wiggling his second hand free to place a gentle boop on Hoseok’s tear-damp nose.

“Are you disappointed in me when I get upset?”

“No…”

“What about Jimin? When he’s been having a bad day? Are you mad at him for showing weakness?”

“Of course not…”

“TaeTae? When he’s having a mental health dip and can’t smile as much as normal? Do you get annoyed at him?”

“He can’t help it.”

“Do you get angry at any of us when we’re sad?”

“Of course I don’t, Gguk…”

“Then why do you expect us to be mad at you not being okay? Why do you put so much pressure on yourself that you don’t put on anyone else? We all have bad days, we’re all weak sometimes, and that isn’t a bad thing. It shows we’re still human. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes, and you gotta accept that.”

“…Alright, Gguk. But even still, it really isn’t fair…”

“Life really isn’t fair, that I can agree with. But you have so many people who love you, who will support you no matter what. It makes it a little easier to deal with, right?”

“I guess so…”

“I know so, you need to look after yourself before you worry about anything else. If you need to climb into bed with me and cry until you feel okay again, that’s okay, right?”

Hoseok looked up at the maknae, giving a watery smile before dissolving into sobs again. Jeongguk wasted no time pulling Hoseok closer to him again, letting the sunshine hide behind the clouds as the rain fell. He’d hold him together when Hoseok couldn’t do it himself.

They stayed like that for a while, Hoseok’s sobs slowly becoming quieter and slower until they stopped completely, being replaced with soft snores against Jeongguk’s skin instead.

5

Yoongi

From: Yoongi-Hyung
To: Jeongguk
Message: Come to the Genius Lab please

When Jeongguk received the text message from his second oldest hyung, Jeongguk gave a sigh. He had no idea what it was about. He could be getting told off for something, Yoongi might just want company, hell he might even just need help with a few things. Jeongguk didn’t really know, but regardless he got to his feet and made his way over to the password locked room where Yoongi tended to work on his music, typing in the code and letting himself in.

Immediately, Jeongguk knew Yoongi was stressed out. The other’s hair was a little wild, as if he’d been running his fingers through it despite the headset pinning some of it in place. Pieces of paper had been strewn all over the room, and the blonde was currently leaning back on his chair, spinning lightly a half turn back and forth as he waited for Jeongguk.

“Hyung, what’s wrong?”

Yoongi seemed to jump a little at Jeongguk’s words as if he hadn’t heard the youngest entering the room, spinning to face the doorway like he was a deer caught in headlights.

“Oh, Gguk, hey. Come, sit down.”

Doing as he was told, Jeongguk made his way over and sat on the couch near by Yoongi’s desk, looking at the older expectantly as he waited to be told what was wrong.

“It’s nothing major,” Yoongi eventually said after realising Jeongguk was waiting for him to talk. “I’m sorry I called you all the way over here.”

“I wasn’t that far away, Hyung. You can tell me what’s bothering you, maybe I can help.”

Yoongi just shook his head, clicking at his computer for a few seconds before taking his headphones completely off, throwing them to the side next to the computer with a huff.

“It’s just, this stupid song. No matter what I do, it’s pissing me off. It isn’t flowing right, it doesn’t sound right, something is missing and I can’t figure out what it is. It’s not like I have unlimited time to get it ready either. It has to be done soon, and I’m not releasing something I’m not happy with. But I don’t have time to start a whole new track either, I have to get this one right, and it just isn’t fucking working with me. You’d think after all the songs I’ve produced that this would be easy right? Just another day in the office? Well it’s not, this is falling at the worst time and I just need it to fucking work with me instead of messing me about like this. Why can’t I figure out the flow problems? Why can’t I figure out why it sounds empty and incomplete? I’m meant to be able to do this, it’s literally my fucking job and yet I can’t do it. I’m fine, Jeongguk, don’t worry. I’m just stressed out.”

Jeongguk frowned a little at Yoongi’s rant. The older swore the most out of all of them, but even then it was still rare to hear it. Glancing over at the computer screen, Jeongguk thought for a second before turning back to Yoongi, hoping he wasn’t about to be snapped at for even offering.

“Do you want me to listen to it? Maybe it needs a fresh pair of ears to figure out what’s going on?” He wasn’t going to say that maybe Yoongi was wrong, maybe the song was perfect and he was just being overly critical of himself, because Jeongguk knew the older better than that. If something sounded wrong, it probably did sound wrong. Something had to be missing, and maybe Jeongguk could help figure out what it was.

Yoongi looked at the maknae for a second, as if trying to figure out if Jeongguk would actually be able to help before shrugging and getting out of his chair, gesturing for Jeongguk to get in it instead.

Getting to his feet, Jeongguk did just that, sitting down in the chair and pulling the headset on as he pressed play and started listening to whatever it was Yoongi was working on.

It was good, but he could tell Yoongi wasn’t wrong too. Something was missing from the track. The flow was fine, at least, it would be a lot better when whatever was missing was in there too. Once he’d finished his first listen, Jeongguk immediately pressed play again.

This second listen through though, Jeongguk started humming. He started quietly at first, before progressing into louder adlibbed vocalisations over the track already present.

Jeongguk was barely aware Yoongi was moving before an arm was right in front of his face, pressing the space bar to stop the track and pulling the headphones off of one of Jeongguk’s ears.

“Stop, stop right there. Don’t move, alright? Just, stay.”

Frowning a little in confusion, Jeongguk watched as Yoongi typed and hit a few buttons over his shoulder before a new vocal track appeared on the mixer, Yoongi then moving the mic closer to Jeongguk.

“Right, go again.”

Doing as he was told, Jeongguk pressed play again and started the song from the beginning, going into his adlibs as easily as he could with the flow of the song. He felt a little anxious with Yoongi’s gaze on the back of his head, judging the entire time, but he didn’t faulter until the song was over and Yoongi paused the mic recording.

Taking the headphones off, Jeongguk got up from the chair, only to be pulled straight into a tight hug by Yoongi.

“Hyung?”

“You’re a little genius, you know that? Literally golden, tiny little genius prince. I’ll buy you whatever takeout you want tonight. Holy shit.”

“Hyung all I did was hum a little over it.”

“That’s what it was missing though my tiny golden prince. That’s what it was missing. How are you always able to help?”

“Part of the job description, hyung.”

6

Seokjin

When Jeongguk got back from practice, the dorm felt… different. He knew he was the only one with any long schedules that day, a few others had shorter things to do and a few more had decided to go out and have personal days with their friends, but he hadn’t expected the dorm to be so quiet. Especially at the time it was. It was a little past dinner time, and normally, all of them made an effort to be back for dinner unless their schedules prevented it.

“Hello? Anyone home?” Jeongguk called out to the dorm, feeling a little uneasy at the silence that followed until the sound of a pan falling in the kitchen echoed through the dorm.

Someone was home at least.

Making his way over to the kitchen, Jeongguk peered in to see Seokjin angrily scrubbing at a frying pan in the sink, dishes piled around him and a sauce pan abandoned on the floor. The oldest seemed to be muttering to himself, and the maknae could see that he definitely wasn’t the happiest person in the world at that moment.

“Hyung? Are you okay?”

Startling a little at the maknae’s voice, Seokjin dropped the frying pan into the sink and swung around to face Jeongguk, cursing as he did. The maknae flinched a little at the curse coming from their oldest, but didn’t move away.

“Jeongguk, how long have you been there?”

“I just got back, I called out but no-one answered. Where is everyone?”

Seokjin let out an irritated sigh, before turning back to the dishes and returning to taking his frustrations back out on the poor pan.

Hesitating for only a moment, Jeongguk stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the oldest’s waist, hugging him tightly and pulling him a little away from the sink.

“Hyung, what’s wrong?”

Seokjin didn’t turn to face him, didn’t return the hug, but he did begin to rant.

“Why does everyone take me for granted, Jeongguk? Everyone seems to think I love cooking and cleaning and picking up after everyone else. I don’t. I do enjoy cooking, but I enjoy doing it for fun, not because its expected of me. I clean and pick up after everyone else because no-one else is going to do it, everyone just assumes its my job and leaves me to it. What am I, everyone’s maid? I’m a part of this group too, and I’m more than just everyone’s mother. Why does everyone just expect me to do everything for them? Sure, I didn’t help it at first, when I started cooking for everyone and they started expecting it, I didn’t say anything. I like looking after you all, but not when it gets taken for granted. We have a set dinner time, and unless you have a schedule that prevents it, everyone should be home ready for dinner time. So why is it, today, that I was the only one home? I made dinner for everyone, I made dinner for seven people and then sat on my own at the table and ate by myself. No-one messaged saying they were going to be late, no-one thought to call me to tell me I didn’t have to cook for tonight. Do they think I enjoy this? Do they really see me as a maid?”

Jeongguk could hear the words starting to crack in Seokjin’s voice, and despite the fact he couldn’t see his face, Jeongguk knew the other was close to tears. Instead of replying, Jeongguk just clung on tighter, letting Seokjin rant as he felt the guilt creeping up his throat.

“It’s like we’re not all grown ass men who can cook for themselves, who can pick up their own dirty socks or wipe down a counter every now and again. It isn’t fair, it isn’t fucking fair that its just expected of me and then everyone takes that for granted. I’m not a maid, and I refuse to be treated like one any longer.”

When Seokjin’s words petered out, Jeongguk sniffled a little from behind him.

“I’m really sorry, hyung. My schedule overran, I thought I’d be home in time for dinner. I’m so sorry that everyone treats you like that, I hadn’t realised that’s how it was coming across. I swear we’re all grateful for everything you do for us. You’ve helped us all for so long, especially me. You stepped up and looked after me when I was too shy to even talk to anyone all those years ago. I’m so sorry you’re hurt, Hyung.”

Jeongguk felt Seokjin take a shaking breath from in front of him, before he loosened Jeongguk’s grip around him and turned to face the maknae, finally hugging the other in return and rubbing his back gently.

“I’m sorry, Jeongguk. I know you had a set schedule today, I didn’t mean to take my frustrations out on you. I’m sorry for snapping at you. Are you alright?”

“You’re asking if I’m okay? What about that poor frying pan, hyung? Is that okay?”

At Jeongguk’s words, Seokjin laughed a little, wiping at his face and taking another deep breath to try and calm down.

“I’m sure it’s fine, but thank you for the apology, alright? I know you guys don’t mean to take me for granted, I know it’s not a malicious thing. But it just… hurts sometimes, especially when no-one even bothers to update me.”

Jeongguk nodded a little, pulling away from the hug before pulling his sleeves up and stepping towards the sink, dunking his hands into the hot water and beginning to scrub at the frying pan Seokjin had recently been abusing.

“Jeongguk, what are you doing?”

“Helping around the dorm, hyung, like I should have been doing for years. Go sit down and watch something, I’ll do the dishes.”

“You should eat something first, you’ve been busy all day.”

“I’ll eat after, I promise. Go relax.”

“Alright, Gguk, thank you.”

Jeongguk smiled up at the older. “I’m sorry again,”

“Me too.”

+1

Jeongguk

Feeling antsy and anxious was always an awkward thing when nothing in particular had set it off.

He’d just…woken up with mild anxiety bubbling in his chest and he couldn’t get it to fade, but he also didn’t have time to dwell on it. They had stuff to do, places to be, and everyone else was dealing with enough without him dumping his own problems on top of them.

He was always everyone’s rock, and he wasn’t about to break that reputation now.

While in vocal practice, he knew the day wasn’t going to get any better. He was struggling through his words, unable to get his pitch where he needed it to be. He couldn’t keep his voice steady or smooth, and their coach was getting more and more annoyed with him as the practice went on, and he could tell it was happening. But he couldn’t fix it. He was trying his hardest, he was trying to sing as well as he normally did, but he couldn’t get it to work no matter how hard he tried.

Their coach called the practice off early, and the group ended up having an early lunch.

Apart from Jeongguk, who got called in to the office to be scolded for his performance during the practice. The coach didn’t want to hear his reasoning or his excuses, claiming he just wanted Jeongguk to do better. He wanted him to work with the talent he had and not destroy it from laziness.

Jeongguk had tried to claim it wasn’t laziness, that he was just having a bad day and would be better tomorrow, but the coach was having none of it and simply scolded him more for talking out of turn.

By the time Jeongguk got out of the office, the others had already finished eating and they were due in dance practice in mere minutes.

Jeongguk swallowed his pride, promised himself to just eat a bit more at dinner that night, and went to the practice anyway with the others.

The hunger didn’t mix well with the anxiety in his stomach, and Jeongguk found himself struggling even more to follow the moves they were trying to learn. His legs weren’t going where he wanted them to, tripping over his own feet more than once as his hands refused to go where they were meant to either. He blinked back the tears of frustration, brushed away the concerned questions from the other members, and continued his day as if nothing was wrong. 

When he fell flat on his face from a shaking foot placement, he pushed himself off and laughed off the pain, reassuring everyone else that he was okay. There was nothing to worry about in the slightest, maybe he’d just been hanging out with Namjoon too much and had caught the clumsy bug.

Namjoon had jokingly been annoyed at the comment, but it had made everyone else stop questioning why he wasn’t performing very well that day.

He got through the practice. Barely, but he did make it without falling over again, and that was something Jeongguk could take as a small victory as his stomach growled and his limbs ached from the hard wooden floor he’d fallen onto.

He’d probably have bruises in a few hours, their stylists were going to hate him if they had to find a way to cover up his bruises from his own clumsiness.

By the time they were all in the van heading back to the dorm, Jeongguk just felt… overwhelmed. Nothing in that day had gone okay, and despite the rumbling in his stomach, Jeongguk’s appetite may as well have been non-existent. He didn’t want to eat, he just wanted to go to sleep and pretend this day didn’t happen, write it off completely and start again fresh in the morning.

“Jeongguk, are you alright? You’ve been really weird all day.” Hoseok’s voice filtered into Jeongguk’s ears from beside him, the youngest turning to look over at the older with a smile.

“I’m alright, Hyung, don’t worry. I’m fine.”

Hoseok raised an eyebrow at him, obviously not believing the lie Jeongguk was telling, but he didn’t push it any further.

At least, during the car ride he didn’t.

Once they got back to the dorm was a different matter.

Once there, Jimin and Taehyung immediately went to the kitchen with Seokjin, ready to help him prepare dinner for everyone following the oldest talking to them all about him feeling too much was expected of him. Everyone had started making more of an effort after Seokjin’s breakdown to Jeongguk over it had been revealed. Yoongi flopped onto the couch with Namjoon, both complaining of aching feet and sore throats after the long day, and Jeongguk began walking to his own bedroom, only to be stopped by Hoseok grabbing his arm and rooting him to the spot.

“No, you can’t just walk off and hide from everyone, Jeongguk. What’s wrong?”

“I said I’m fine, hyung. Please, don’t worry so much.”

Hoseok just frowned at him. “No, you always help us, let us help you. What’s wrong?”

That’s all it took for the walls Jeongguk had built up throughout the day to protect the others from his stress to come crumbling down.

He tried to stop it, he tried to hold back the tears, but he wasn’t very successful at it. Just like he hadn’t been successful with anything he’d tried to do that day.

“I-I just…” Jeongguk gulped, a last ditch attempt to keep the tears at bay which soon failed. “I’ve had such a bad day. Nothing’s been going right. I’ve felt off all day but I just tried to work through it but it kept getting worse and worse. No matter what I did today, it was wrong. Everything I tried to do got messed up and I couldn’t fix it, I tried to explain it to our vocal coach and he didn’t want to hear any of it. He accused me of being lazy and not caring, but that isn’t it! I’m trying hard, I really am, but today nothing went right and I’m tired and I’m sore and I’m hungry but I just want today to be over! I want to go to bed and sleep and have tomorrow come and be a better day, and it isn’t fair that things aren’t working the way I need them to! I need to be strong, I need to be the rock for everyone like I always am but I can’t today and I feel so guilty because of it! I-I can’t dump my problems on you all when you all work so hard to deal with your own! It’s not fair for me to expect you to do everything, I-I can’t just dump my problems on you guys when you have problems too…!”

Hoseok just stared at him for a moment, before shaking his head and beginning to tug Jeongguk over to the couch. Taehyung, Jimin and Seokjin had all abandoned their post at the kitchen, heat turned off for the food of course, and were already waiting as Hoseok approached and pushed Jeongguk onto the soft surface. Namjoon wasted no time pulling Jeongguk over to him in a hug, Yoongi quickly joining as he threaded his small fingers into Jeongguk’s hair.

The youngest was still crying, and it was breaking everyone’s hearts.

“No, you don’t get to think like that, Jeongguk.” Hoseok said, and despite the fact his words were quite harsh, his tone was soothing and the smile on his lips reassured the youngest. “You don’t get to hold the world on your shoulders because you don’t want to dump it on us. Isn’t that the advice you give all of us all the time? That you can’t keep everything to yourself or you’ll explode? Why do you think we don’t feel the same for you? You’re our maknae, you’re our baby, and yes you’re the rock we lean on, but that doesn’t mean you can’t lean on us too, right? You’re important to us all, if you need to talk, we’re here for that. It’s literally what we’re here for.”

Jeongguk just sniffled and hid his face in Namjoon’s chest, not verbally replying but giving a small nod.

Within seconds, Taehyung and Jimin had jumped onto the couch as well, piling themselves on top of the three and making sure to at least touch Jeongguk somewhere as they joined the group hug.

Seokjin and Hoseok were only moments behind too, the position being a little awkward with seven grown men piling onto a three seater couch, but they made it work. Every single person in the dorm stayed there for a while, mumbling words of encouragement as Jeongguk continued to sniffle and cry, releasing the pressure that had been building within him all day. It broke all of their hearts, but they didn’t try and convince him to stop.

They stayed and soothed him, reassuring words and comfortingly touches until Jeongguk’s sobs died down into nothing and the youngest fell asleep against Namjoon’s chest.

Taehyung and Jimin carefully peeled away with Seokjin to continue the food they knew they all needed, but Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok stayed put with their youngest. They weren’t prepared to wake him up, but they didn’t want to leave him either.

So they stayed.

They’d be his rock for as long as he needed them to be.