Work Text:
I'm not entirely sure what I feel in this moment. If I am completely honest with myself and whoever might happen to read this, the mess of emotions entangled in the pit of my stomach these past months have become a strange yet almost welcome reminder that I'm alive. After spending days on end simply going through the motions, the numbness that I so often feel is squashed down by an overwhelming sense of guilt.
What am I guilty of? I have no idea.
And that is perhaps what the worst part of this is, that my moral compass must be so bent and warped that I couldn't even tell you what it is I've done wrong. The courts have judged the case that is my life and I have been found guilty. What is it that they know, that you know? What part of me that I suppress to avoid the pain and heartbreak has been uncovered for the jury?
I feel like a liar. I know I am a liar.
But so are you.