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”I’m going to touch your ear!”
No. Tae Joo’s bad habit had become too much to handle for Gook. There was only so much stress he could handle on an average day and Tae Joo making his entire body feel fuzzy and warm with a single caress of his ear was both too much and too little every time it happened. But Tae Joo touching his ear while their bodies were locked tight together and their breaths coming out in pants was not a situation that Gook could handle. Not with Tae Joo looking at him like that: all intense and fascinated, as if Gook were the most interesting thing in the universe and Tae Joo would stop at nothing to investigate him until he had settled his curiosity.
It was too much. Tae Joo’s strong gazes were becoming as difficult to handle as his touches were. It was… He was… All of it was dangerous and Gook knew better than to push limits that should not be pushed. Since Tae Joo did not know better, Gook would have to be the one to make sure no lines were crossed. So, no.
”What’s the matter?” Tae Joo asked with a soft but amused tone, “You know I have to touch your ear to calm down.”
Gook did really not have it in him to care about what Tae Joo needed right now like he normally would. There had been other moments where Gook had needed to act as a line-keeper. Smaller moments that left him with a strange feeling in his chest, but that could be easily diverted with the breaking of eye contact and a new topic of conversation. This was different. Gook felt like he was standing on thin ice – one wrong move and something that he had guarded for so long would crack and break.
Tae Joo was radiating his usual playful energy beneath him but there was something new there as well, something more urgent and aggressive stirring just under the surface. Gook would probably spend most of the night lying awake trying to figure out what had caused this change so that he could make it stop. Make Tae Joo return to his earlier and less dangerous behaviour, the kind that Gook could control.
“Even then, it’s a no,” Gook said while he pressed the other boy into the floor with more strength, as if that could somehow make his words more convincing and final.
Gook’s phone vibrated with yet another incoming message dragging his attention away from the boy underneath him, who was far too sure and collected considering the devastating effect his words and actions were having on Gook.
He was never supposed to take his eyes of Tae Joo for a number of reasons, but nothing could have prepared him for this one.
“But… You should stop exercising your chest muscles if it’s this much,” Tae Joo murmured while he reached his hand into the open gap of Gook’s white jacket.
“Oh…” He let the sound drag out as he smirked.
Tae Joo was slowly rubbing his fingers over Gook’s chest, and more specifically over his right nipple. Gook had thought that Tae Joo touching his ear was the most challenging trick the boy had up his sleeve. Now he quickly realised that the only reason for that was Tae Joo had not had enough opportunities to explore other parts of Gook’s body.
Gook felt as if the entirety of said body was burning. His eyes widened and he stopped breathing. Gook had never had anyone touch him like that before and the fact that it was Tae Joo only made it more intense. He panicked.
“Ah!” Tae Joo gasped, the sound piercing through the quiet training hall.
Gook had the hand that had caught him so off-guard in a vicelike grip, twisting it back to strain the other boy’s wrist.
“Aaah..!”
There is a lot that could be said about Kang Gook – he was quiet, restrained, and proper. Stupid, however, he was not. 15 years of being Han Tae Joo’s shadow had made him observant enough to know when the insufferable boy was in actual distress, and when he was not. Gook also knew his own strength and it would require a lot more of it to warrant that kind of reaction – simply put, Tae Joo was acting.
“You’re gonna have to try a bit harder to make me fall for that,” he said while releasing his grip on Tae Joo’s hand.
The faked painful expression on Tae Joo’s face quickly washed away to reveal a playful grin. The boy giggled and started squirming under Gook. Gook felt his face start to heat at the view of Tae Joo moving around like that.
“Hmm maybe so, but that was still a pretty strong reaction for something so small,” Tae Joo said while moving to lean back on his elbows, his eyes intense as he said, “Tell me, Gook-ah, did it feel good?”
Gook froze.
What was he supposed to say to that? He… He did like it, but this was, this was not… this was not about him and what he felt… But it felt good, it really did.
The realisation crashed through Gook’s mind like a freight train, leaving him dazed. He did not know what to do. He felt both scared and excited, as if he were standing at the edge of a cliff looking down into the abyss, his head spinning with all the possibilities of what the darkness was hiding below.
In this moment Tae Joo was like that abyss. Gook did not know what he was dealing with or what to expect.
“Hm?” Something devious flashed in Tae Joo’s eyes. “How about this?”
He maintained eye contact with Gook as he lifted his left hand to once again touch one of Gook’s chest muscles. His hand cupped the pectoral as his thumb softly rubbed back and forth over the nipple.
Gook remained frozen. He could only breathe as the burning feeling from before enveloped his body. The tension running through him felt like a drawn bow, waiting for release. His thighs were shaking, and his arms strained at the sides of Tae Joo’s shoulders as he pushed his hands flat, further into the mat.
The touch grew more confident as Tae Joo watched Gook’s reaction with something like fascination. Gook’s pupils were blown wide and his face was flushed.
Tae Joo smirked as he said, “Ah, you look like you like it, Gook-ah.”
Gook held his breath as Tae Joo bit his lower lip. Without waiting for a response, he brought up his other hand so that he could rub at both sides of Gook’s chest. His hands pressed and kneaded at the muscles, while the thumbs continued their careful rubbing. Gook exhaled with a sound that felt far more like a moan, making Tae Joo smile. Far too wide and ecstatic, exactly the kind of smile Gook had tried so hard to avoid.
Gook could almost hear the thin ice break. He was out of his depth, out of control and could do nothing but wait.
Tae Joo was still grinning like a madman when he removed his hands from Gook’s chest to open the sash of Gook’s jacket. He moved both arms inside of the jacket, spreading his warm hands on Gook’s back as he pulled him down so that they were chest to chest.
They were practically hugging now, but the position they were in was far too intimate for a normal hug. Gook’s knees had spread apart further when Tae Joo pulled him down so that his weight had shifted to be supported by Tae Joo. Gook was pretty sure they had never been this close before.
Tae Joo’s eyes were mischievous and hooded when he softly murmured, “Mmm… How about this?”
With the hands on his back he pressed Gook’s body slightly to the side, breaking the prolonged eye contact. Gook felt like he had finally broken out of his daze only to be pushed right back in as Tae Joo licked at his ear.
The reaction was instantaneous. A loud moan vibrated out of Gook’s chest as he firmly placed his forearms at the sides of Tae Joo’s head and rocked forward in his embrace.
The line had been crossed, there was no going back and pretending that this was just messing around. Gook’s head was a mess, his whole body tingled, and he wanted nothing more than for Tae Joo to do it again. Everything was so warm.
Tae Joo exhaled loudly close to his ear, his warms hands caressed and gripped at Gook’s back. Then he wrapped his lips around Gook’s earlobe and sucked.
No teasing, no touch and no wandering hands could have prepared Gook to the feeling of having Tae Joo’s mouth on him. And now that he had it, he never wanted it to stop. He could feel Tae Joo’s tongue glide against the soft skin of his ear, wet and heated. Gook shivered and he pressed closer to the body underneath his.
After a moment or two Tae Joo softly released his ear. He slowly moved his face closer to Gook’s, letting his nose touch his cheek until they were face to face, and oh so very close.
The earlier pants of exhaustion were different now - breathier, and louder. Tae Joo looked different. His eyes were big, pupils blown wide, and his usual expression of teasing and smugness was long gone.
There was no amusement left in his voice as he said, “Tell me, Gook-ah, did it feel good?” He looked pleadingly up at Gook as his eyes took on a hint of unsurety.
Tae Joo’s sudden sincerity was like a finishing blow to Gook’s remaining self-restraint. He made a frustrated and desperate noise as he grabbed Tae Joo’s face with both hands and kissed him.
The kiss was almost completely still. Their lips smashed together with strong pressure. Gook just held him close, he savoured the moment of finally, finally getting to cross that line that he had defended for so long. Finally taking what he really wanted.
Tae Joo whimpered as Gook pulled back, only for Tae Joo to pull him back in and to be met with open and eager lips. This was kissing for real, Gook thought as he grasped at Tae Joo’s neck with both hands. The kisses were wet and hungry. Tae Joo’s lips were pliant and soft under Gook’s as their mouths worked against each other. Their tongues met hastily over and over again between them and made everything so much hotter and intoxicating.
Gook liked Tae Joo like this. He was complaisant and soft, still eager and energetic but the ever-present feeling of being at battle had dissipated. It was as if whatever had made Tae Joo so restless and searching had disappeared. Gook felt his chest and heart overflow at the thought.
More, more, more. He needed more, so with one last wet kiss Gook moved down kiss at Tae Joo’s pretty neck. The skin there made Gook want to touch. He pressed several open-mouthed kisses from Tae Joo’s ear down to his collarbone. Tae Joo moved and squirmed under him as his hands grabbed at Gook’s shoulders. Then, Gook put his mouth where Tae Joo’s neck met his shoulder and started sucking a bruise into the skin.
Tae Joo moaned loudly and suddenly pushed them both up so that they were sitting, Tae Joo on the floor and Gook straddling his lap. Gook startled with the change of position and detached himself from the other’s neck. He could feel the evidence of both of their arousal and suddenly felt like he had forgotten something, something about this not being something he was allowed to do. He looked at Tae Joo’s open and wanting face and realised that even though that might be the case, he liked this. Sitting in the other’s lap. He liked the contrast between this and the toughness and propriety he was expected to embody. The extent of how much he liked it shocked him as he stared wide-eyed at the other boy. Tae Joo smiled as he moved his arms tighter around Gook and dove in to kiss him again. He pressed into him with such urgency it was as if he wanted them to meld together. Gook could not stop himself from revelling in the feeling of having Tae Joo close like this.
Gook allowed himself to touch. He grabbed at Tae Joo’s hair, slowly moved his hands over his back and shoulder. He let himself truly touch and feel, cupping Tae Joo’s cheeks with his hands as they kissed, and kissed, and kissed.
The cloud of urgency and arousal turned into something both more and different. It was not just their bodies that wanted, but their hearts too.
Tae Joo’s movements slowed, and his pressure eased. The kisses became languid, still wet and open but no longer hurried and frenzied. The touches were now reverent as if they were engaged in worship, each caress was like a hushed whisper of adoration.
The kisses were soft and chaste as lips touched lips. Tae Joo carefully started to press his lips to Gook’s cheeks, nose, brows, and jawline. He lifted Gook’s hands where they rested at his shoulders and softly kissed his palms. Gook felt as if his chest would overflow with emotions he did not even know the name of as Tae Joo met his eyes with a dazed and content gaze. Tae Joo gently hummed as they exchanged one last tender kiss.
He looked good, too good. Tae Joo’s hair was dishevelled, his lips slightly red and wet, and his eyes were full of calm adoration. His face was clearly flushed, and his chest moved up and down with his heavy breaths. Gook could not help the smile that crossed his face at seeing Tae Joo like this. He let his eyes linger across the other’s face until he could no longer help but say what he felt.
He put his hands on Tae Joo neck, guiding the other’s head until their foreheads were resting against each other, as he whispered, “It felt good, I liked it… I like you.”
Tae Joo answered with a blinding smile and then buried his head in Gook’s neck as he softly and lovingly gasped, “Gook-ah..!”
Gook wrapped his arms around Tae Joo’s shoulders and kept smiling.
Now that the line had been crossed, the limit pushed and the ice broken, Gook might never have to stop smiling again.