Chapter Text
Ahsoka Tano was surprised, to say the least, when, after she had slammed her white lightsabers into the ground of the top floor of the ancient Sith Temple on Malachor, she felt something or someone yank her backward. Much to her amazement, she was still alive even after Vader had almost cleaved her head off and seeing an older Ezra Bridger was even more of a shock, at least until she looked around to see where she was and was met by the sight of an old friend, Morai. “I owe her my life, now I owe you the same” the Togruta had whispered to the young Jedi Padawan with a small smile. She had then been forced to watch yet another one of her peers fall at the hands of the Empire. She was relieved that Kanan Jarrus' death actually meant something, unlike the vast majority of deaths that had occurred years previously during Order Sixty-Six, the Clone Trooper directive that had directly ended the lives of so many of her peers and also marked one of the darkest times in the history of the galaxy, the time in which countless survivors of the initial purge were killed off for no reason other than them simply being Jedi, the sworn blood-enemies of the Sith. Luminara Unduli, who had been executed needlessly for the purported crime of treason. Her best friend Barriss Offee had effectively been executed long before the purge. Caleb Dume was indeed one of the lucky ones who had the chance to sacrifice himself for something bigger than himself and she had been robbed of her own opportunity to die meaningfully, until she realized something. “I can't come back with you!” She spoke while on the run, running from the Sith and his blue alchemic fire
“Why not?” Ezra replied, worried and saddened
“There’s something I have to take care of, now go!!” The Togruta pushed Ezra away and down the path that led to the portal he had arrived through
Ahsoka watched the boy disappear through a portal and back to Lothal while his feet continued pounding toward another portal, one Morai was leading her to. Without thinking, she hurled herself toward the portal and through it just as the alchemic flames reached and engulfed most of her body. She screamed in agony as she felt the fire burn through not only her skin, but her life force as well.
The Togruta flew through the air, the very wind currents caressing her scorched body before she slammed down upon the floor on the other side of the portal. “Karrabast” she groaned, the pain resulting in her losing consciousness for a moment.
*****
Ahsoka groaned from the remnants of the pain she had felt, she had opened her eyes and found herself in a familiar scene, almost a month after the conclusion of the whole terrifying series of events that she knew would scar her for the rest of her life, events that had been in the past but were suddenly in the future again. She knew she was dreaming as she had some recollection of the pain she had experienced before falling unconscious, but she also knew there was no way to alter what was coming, it hadn’t been the first time she had endured that particular dream. She had been on an errand for the sisters she was staying with, Trace and Rafa, when she caught sight of someone she had thought she wouldn't ever see again. Barriss?
The Mirialan in question was walking down one of the side streets toward Coco Town. Ahsoka hadn't ever expected to see the young Padawan again so she moved toward her, at the very minimum Ahsoka expected her fellow Padawan to spend what was arguably called her future, for it wasn't much of a future, behind bars. Once she had gotten closer, Ahsoka realized that Barriss was missing a number of her tattoos, her facial ones were all gone save three, the one on the center of her nose and the ones immediately adjacent and the ones on the back of her hands had been removed completely but it was definitely her, she could feel the other young woman's Force signature flowing through the bond they still shared yet... She had to pause to discern the meaning behind what she felt, Barriss’ Force signature felt wrong to her, though only those who knew her well would notice. “Barriss??” she called out, loud enough for the other woman to hear, not that Ahsoka would've known if she had heard it since she didn't respond. “Barriss!!” Ahsoka cried out, snagging her old friend’s shoulder to slow her and get her attention
Just how wrong things were became apparent the moment Barriss’ hand shot to her belt to grab at a lightsaber that Ahsoka realized was missing before its owner did and even clearer the moment she pushed the Togruta away with a weakened blast with the Force once she figured out that she didn't have her weapon. “Don't touch me!!” She demanded, her tone calm, eyes watchful and cautious, but still somewhat seemingly in some kind of trance
“Barriss?” Ahsoka breathed, “is it you?” she asked, the Force was telling her two different things at once, yes, it was her friend but also no, it wasn't.
“Excuse me miss, but my name isn't Barriss, it's Juzia. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get going. I have to meet up with... A friend at a diner”
That's definitely Barriss, only she's that polite, even amongst Jedi. But what's she doing out of prison, why is she speaking like she's out on assignment? The confused and hurt Togruta was left behind by the dismissive Mirialan. Barriss, what's happened to you? Ahsoka wouldn't find out the truth until a lot later, that the Jedi had done something cruel and unforgivable to someone who opposed them and, in repeating the same mistakes they had made with the very same person would turn their most promising Padawans against them, albeit years down the line in addition to vindicating both Ahsoka's desire to leave the Jedi because of what they had become and what Barriss had said upon the revelation that she was the mastermind behind the bombing.
The scene changed and Ahsoka was back on board a Jedi Cruiser in what was definitely one of the worst days of her life, the day of Order Sixty-Six, the day when everything around her came crashing down. The young woman felt a pain in her back and staggered forward mere moments after she heard remnants of the last remaining moments of Anakin Skywalker before he fell to the dark side; what have I done? The familiar and comforting voice spoke, tinged with pain and regret. The pain felt similar to the pain she had felt the time she had been shot in the shoulder by a Separatist gunship and subsequently lost her grip on a friend, resulting in them falling to their doom only it was much, much worse. Panicked, the young woman had thrown herself into combat with the clones, successfully evading each and every single one of their shots and killing almost indiscriminately. The Togruta knew instinctively that it was only thanks to her bond with Anakin that she made it through those first few seconds alive and, along with Captain Rex, survived the Jedi Purge, one of only a mere handful of Force-sensitives to do so and that was something not even Anakin seemed to have managed to do, survive. Her bond with him was sheared off at Anakin's end, almost as if he couldn't bear for her to feel his last few moments. Her bond with Barriss was a different story though. Ever since she had spotted Barriss in Coco Town, the young former Jedi had been busy attempting to reconstruct the bond she had once shared with the terrorist, it had been slow going since Barriss was unwilling or unable to help reconstruct her end of the bond and therefore Ahsoka was doing most of the work on it in almost every free moment of time she had managed to scrounge up while helping her hosts and friends. Eventually, she had found the solution and had reopened the bond, Barriss having remained unaware of it since it had been forced into the other girl's subconscious by something. Ahsoka had been able to access Barriss' memories through the bond, but they were not the memories she remembered. The Mirialan had memories of both Battles of Geonosis, of Umbara, of the trip to Ord Cestus, of the Temple bombing but that were not Barriss' memories and had Barriss either in a different role, in the cases of the second battle of Geonosis and the battle over Umbara or as a mere bystander in the case of the bombing, where she was watching the most shocking events in the history of the Jedi unfold, the Jedi hunting and capturing a young Togruta and then the revelation of a green-skinned Mirialan as the true perpetrator, who was summarily executed within days of her confession. All memories of Ahsoka had been removed and even those with Luminara Unduli had been doctored though the elder Mirialan was still Barriss’ Master. Ahsoka had been reeling at the knowledge that the Jedi had, once again, dealt with a dissenter by removing their memories, just like what had happened with Barriss before regarding the bond she had made with Ahsoka, the bond they had later remade and the bond that only Ahsoka remained aware of.
From then on Ahsoka was far too busy trying to survive to give those thoughts much attention but she could still remember the burn of the blasters incinerating Barriss’ back and burning through to her chest as she fell on Felicia, and the finality of the crushing sensation as an AT-TE smushed her fading, failing body into the ground. Ahsoka remembered crying silently throughout her escape from the Jedi Cruiser after being forced to hide in a closet for a while due to the pain. Barriss Offee was dead, but no that wasn’t quite true, Barriss had been dead since a few short days after the bombing, it was Juzia that had died in the Purge and Ahsoka tried to look at it that way but it hurt like she had lost her friend all over again. Agony of the heart
*****
When Ahsoka woke up properly, unable to jolt upright as she usually did or even scream due to the pain from the burns covering ninety-five percent of her body. The Togruta took a moment to pull herself through the pain with a little assistance from her connection to the Force and found herself in a room she recognized almost as well as the room she had grown up in, the room she recognized almost as well as her room in the apartment she had shared with Anakin Skywalker. “It... It worked?” she croaked, questioning the sight her own eyes were showing her. It took an immense amount of willpower to stand, to endure the pain from the burns all over her body but in the end, she managed it. Ahsoka was where she knew she had to be, she had a unique chance to right a wrong that had been committed years before and she was nothing if not reckless so she was going to give it her all. While she hadn't been the one to blame for that wrong, she had always been torn up by what had happened after she left the Jedi, what had happened to Barriss, or Juzia as she had gone by after the Jedi Council robbed her of her memories, too short-handed to even give her a fair trial, instead choosing to send her back into the war an unwilling but unaware slave to the Order and its war effort. Fumbling around the room with her eyes half-closed due to the pain and guided purely by her memories, she finally managed to find some flimsi and wrote a quick note, her Aurebesh sloppy and unjoined. The pain was marring her senses and making it almost impossible to concentrate on what to say and write at the same time. Kriffing hells, this hurts. The Togruta groaned, finally finishing her little note and signing it with Fulcrum, she then placed it gently on the pillow of the bed next to her with a gentle smile. She had caught sight of the holoimage that rested by the owner’s pillow, a picture of her and someone she hadn't seen in so long. I hope this works.
The Togruta retreated out of the room and back through the portal to the World Between Worlds where her legs betrayed her, the weakened Togruta fell to her knees then keeled forward with some finality to it but she had just enough strength to roll onto her side where she remained, hoping to catch a glimpse of her oldest and best friend one last time through the portal
*****
Back in the Jedi Temple and back in time sixteen cycles, Barriss Offee left the training room in tears, she had been hoping to meet up with her friend Ahsoka Tano, but the war and their leaders, the Jedi High Council had other ideas. Barriss had hoped to reunite with Ahsoka and talk to her over a spar and then almost certainly a conciliatory tea that Ahsoka would get her to make up for kicking her ass once again, she wanted to talk to someone about her misgivings and maybe even subconsciously wanted to hear Ahsoka talk her out of it, talk her out of her most seditious, treasonous thoughts yet. She sighed and hid her face in her cloak, aiming for anonymity as she retreated toward her quarters as quickly as her legs would allow her. Curse the Council and their whole-day war briefings!! She grumbled to herself, unlocking the quarters she shared with Luminara Unduli with a wave of her comm. I have to get the bombs to Letta today. To Barriss, the meeting she would've had with Ahsoka represented her last opportunity to nope out of the plan to bomb the Temple but the Council had stolen that opportunity from her, just like they stole her earliest memories of Ahsoka which left her with no choice but to carry on as planned. It was partially because the Jedi had stolen her memories that she had grown as disillusioned as she had with the Jedi and, while she didn't want to hurt anyone, she couldn't see any other way forward
Once the Mirialan Padawan had entered her room, for what would likely be one of the last times as she was likely to endure the Knight Trials soon enough, she sighed in relief and headed toward the bed to slump down and hopefully nap for a little while despite not trusting Letta to not rat her out should she fail to uphold her end of the agreement and deliver those modified nanodroids to the traitorous woman. She was about to fall flat on her face, the mattress too inviting despite it being nothing more than standard Jedi issue when she spotted a small flimsi note. Should never have given Ahsoka the access codes she reminded herself with a smirk. What she found shocked her to the core
‘Dear Barriss' the letter was written in an almost illegible scrawl many times worse than even Ahsoka's writing
‘I hope you're doing okay, despite everything going on with the war. I know you feel particularly poodoo today but, I beg you, talk to your friends about what's bothering you. Tell them everything. They'll help you and if they don't, hand them the other letter I've written. Your plan won't help anyone, Barriss, in fact, I'm pretty sure it'll only make things worse for you and everyone you care about. Just talk to them, Barriss, talk to her, she'll understand, she is bonded to you after all’
The conclusion to the letter was all the more concerning to the model Jedi, 'much love,
Fulcrum<3' complete with little heart symbol. The signature alone was enough to throw Barriss off her game. She only really had one close friend, that the letter meant her was also implied by the wording of the letter and of the people who knew she was incredibly close to Ahsoka, only one of them was on Coruscant. Master Obi-Wan was away on a mission, Anakin Skywalker had been reprising a role as a bodyguard and her Master, Luminara Unduli was off on some battlefront somewhere in the Outer Rim. Ahsoka was the only one she knew well that on Coruscant, both Padawans had been allowed a few weeks off from the war for an undisclosed reason and had been spending time studying, meditating and, in Ahsoka’s case, teaching Younglings. Ahsoka had been called into a briefing to outline their next mission, hers and Anakin's, they were due to set off for Cato Neimoidia within a few days and that would have been a perfect opportunity to set off her bomb, Ahsoka was far too fond of tinkering with her fighter to risk setting the bomb off while she was still in the Temple.
Barriss groaned, she couldn't help the anxiety that rolled off her in waves, something she was certain that would be picked up on. The young Padawan sat back and focused her attention on wrestling the wayward emotions she was beginning to feel and keeping them away from the two bonds she had forged. Oh karrabast. The whole project had been wrought with difficulties, first, she had to persuade Letta she was serious about betraying the only people she had to call a family which took several weeks, almost two months in of itself, then she had to finalize her plans and get the equipment she needed to continue the project, namely the nanodroids that would become the bombs. She had thought after making the plans that persuading Letta would be the most difficult part and was particularly bitter about those thoughts once she had successfully made it into the high-security vault that had contained the nanodroids, the company that manufactured them was well aware of their capacity to be weaponized and had been, much to Barriss’ chagrin, pretty much the only company that took proper precautions to ensure their dangerous tech didn't fall into the wrong hands. Barriss had had to kill multiple employees in order to go undiscovered and, at the time, hadn't noticed the very slight yellow tinge to the corners of her vision, a side-effect of the corrosive effects those actions were having on the young woman. By the end of the night, she had the nanodroids in a safe location far below the Jedi Temple, an unnamed warehouse on level 1315 and had murdered five individuals to achieve her goal. Barriss threw up once she had returned to the Jedi Temple but called on the inviting darkness that was yearning for her to block out the guilt and conflict those actions had caused
Sure enough, not even five minutes later there was a knock on Barriss' door and a ping on her comm. “Barriss... Let me in, I know you are not okay” A concerned-sounding Togruta spoke quietly but also clearly, she obviously wasn't aware that Luminara wasn't on Coruscant and was trying her hardest to be discrete.
Resigned but ever more so in love with the woman who was treating her as a person rather than a Jedi, Barriss opened the door to her room. Ahsoka had entered the apartment without difficulty, a result of the codes Barriss had gifted the other young woman. “Hey, 'Soka” Barriss mumbled, her eyes fixed on the floor, ashamed of not only her emotions, but also of her innate, almost uncontrollable urge to hug her friend and get the comfort her relationship with Master Unduli had always lacked. She was as of yet unashamed of the actions she had been planning for she had, in her mind, been given no other option by the Council. The Council were busy pandering to the demands of the Senate and corrupting innocent children with their tendency toward the dark side, her own Master blindly followed them into the darkness and the Padawans who were barely adults at their oldest and just barely teenagers at their youngest naturally had no say in whether they were assigned a Master and sent off to the front or not. Barriss’ own friend Ahsoka had been the very first of the Younglings assigned to a Master before she was supposed to be. Most Younglings were chosen by a Knight or Master before they became sixteen and those that weren't chosen were sent off to the AgriCorps or one of the other service divisions but Ahsoka had set a precedence for the Jedi Council to assign Younglings to Knights and Masters regardless of their age. ‘The war effort needs it’, Barriss remembered Master Mace Windu’s words about the change in policy when the Council had announced their intentions using Ahsoka’s apprenticeship to The Chosen One as the model which the decision was based upon, they had quickly become quite possibly the most successful Knight/Padawan pairing in the history of the Order, perhaps save that of Master Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. No Knight or Master would have wanted to take the energetic, reckless young Togruta and she would have likely been shipped off to the AgriCorps in a couple cycles, a waste of pure skill if Barriss had ever seen one
“Barriss, talk to me, please” Ahsoka whispered, wrapping her own Force signature around the other Padawan as her body wrapped around the Mirialan's physical presence
Much to the shame of the Mirialan, her body reacted against her will, she wrapped herself around the young woman in a stifling, desperate hug, her shoulders shaking from the force of her sobs, the control she had left having been broken by the contact and the genuine care the Togruta had for her. The older Padawan knew she was almost a Jedi Knight and that a Jedi Knight should have better control over their emotions but the war had worn her down so much that she simply couldn't control herself any longer and broke down with all the combined force of every suppressed breakdown the previous two years had induced. “Oh, 'Soka” she managed to get out amongst the tears. Dimly the intelligent Mirialan wondered if that was the plan of the mysterious Fulcrum, to get her anxious specifically so that Ahsoka would sense it and come running. Somehow Fulcrum had known Barriss and Ahsoka were bonded through the Force, something not even their Masters knew. “I missed you so much” she admitted quietly
“I'm sorry I wasn't able to make our sparring session. I truly wanted to kick your butt again but I couldn't say no to the Council” Ahsoka replied in typical Ahsoka style, still all snark and humor. It actually relaxed Barriss almost as much as the hug, it was a relief that Ahsoka still hadn’t been changed all that much by the war
“Aren't you supposed to be at one of their briefings right now?” Barriss asked once she had regained enough breath to speak at any great length. It was almost unheard of for a lowly Padawan to be granted a reprieve from a Council briefing
“Uh-huh. Luckily Skyguy sensed how I was feeling and made excuses for me” she admitted with a small, fond smile. Or at least he sensed how you were feeling and put two and two together. Think I'll have to warn Barriss that I think he's worked it out
Lucky, Master Unduli would never do that for me. Barriss settled into Ahsoka's arms and resided there for a little while, the pure bliss of finally being in someone's arms enough to chase away the young woman's demons, even if only for a fleeting moment
Sure enough, Barriss’ previous feelings returned after a mere few seconds and she began to sob once again. “What's wrong, Barriss?” Ahsoka asked immediately
“Uh... Y-you'll hate me” Barriss whispered, trying to nuzzle her face into Ahsoka's shoulder once again, trying to cut out the galaxy that had hurt her so. A galaxy that had forced her, a healer, into becoming a soldier with the ultimate goal of murdering or subjugating entire civilizations for the worryingly political issue of seceding from the Republic
“Please, talk to me, Barriss” Ahsoka insisted while allowing Barriss to nuzzle her shoulder, she would do almost anything to make Barriss comfortable
“Fine!!” Barriss snapped with a growl, her eyes flashing dangerously for just a second. A yellow tint to her eyes becoming visible to the naked eye for a very brief moment
“Barriss, what's going on?” Ahsoka was getting more and more concerned. Barriss Offee did not lose her temper, not ever. She hadn't yet caught sight of Barriss' corrupted eyes, the evil sulfuric yellow fading back into the blue before Ahsoka could catch it, the slight veins of yellow that persisted only visible under a microscope
“Nothing, Ahsoka! Nothing for you to worry your pretty little tail-head about, okay?!” Barriss snapped, her eyes flaring their sickly yellow once again but it lasted for long enough to allow Ahsoka to catch sight of it out of the corner of her eye before it began to fade once again
“B-Barriss... What did I do?” The young woman whimpered, tearing up. Ahsoka wasn't used to getting screamed at, at least not by her best friend. The Masters on the High Council were always screaming at Ahsoka over something or other regardless of the rules regarding emotions. Ahsoka had long accepted the hypocrisy of the Jedi Order since the Council were always breaking their own Code but came down hard on anyone else that did
“Oh, kark!” Barriss squeaked In horror at what she had just done, Ahsoka was the last person she wanted to get angry at. “Ahsoka, I'm so sorry...” Barriss wrapped her arms around her best friend, the sickly yellow fading slower than it had before. What in the name of all the Sith hells is happening to me?! Barriss could feel the anger within her bubbling, eager to be released at the slightest provocation, aimed at anyone unfortunate enough to be within range of the young woman's fury
“J-just tell me what's wrong, Barriss, please” Ahsoka begged, distraught by the change that had occurred within her own best friend. Does she even realize her eyes changed color to yellow? The orange-skinned Togruta asked herself. All Jedi knew what that meant, it meant Sith
“Fine. But you’ll hate me forever.” Barriss gulped, it was now or never, she had to decide whether to accept what the mysterious Fulcrum had said. Barriss had gotten the sense that Ahsoka wouldn't know anything about the letter so hadn't yet brought it up. If Ahsoka was still talking to her in five minutes, she could mention it then
“Please let me help you”
“Fine. I made plans to bomb the Jedi Temple... Okay?” Barriss stood and left the room in a rage, her eyes glowing a sickly golden yellow while Ahsoka sat on Barriss' bed, rendered immobile by the shock and horror of the revelation.
*****
In a world that was simultaneously the furthest away from the events that were transpiring and the closest to them, an older Togruta with orange skin, blue eyes, white markings on her face and long blue and white striped lekku lifted her tear-stained face in the tiniest of smiles simultaneously letting out the smallest of whimpers as she did so. Good luck. With that final thought, the Togruta’s connection to the Force that connected every living thing snapped, her head falling forward and her eyes losing the spark of mischief that she had held on to for a good thirty-five cycles
In the World Between Worlds, Ahsoka Tano became one with the Force, her body fading. She was met by an old friend who stood by her side in all her resplendent glory and was greeted as such. “Welcome, Ahsoka. It is nice to finally see you again”
“Daughter” Ahsoka smiled and looked around. “And Morai” she acknowledged both her friends eagerly before asking the question that she wanted to know the answer to, “Do they...?”
“Yes. You've given them a chance, Ahsoka.” The Force-Wielder named The Daughter looked at the woman with nothing but pride. “What you did was exceedingly brave. Had you left through the Malachor portal, you would’ve outlived even me. Despite that, you chose to sacrifice yourself and those are the actions of a true Jedi Master. Even so, death is not the end, at least not for you”
The Togruta and the Force-Wielder left together toward the source of all the Force, a place where only Yoda had ever visited while alive. “Come now, child, I have lessons I want to teach you. Lessons to achieve the secret to true immortality” The Daughter led Ahsoka off into the stream of the Force where Ahsoka experienced the true nature of the force in all its incomprehensible, omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient nature. The Togruta had one advantage over all the others that had embarked on the path she had just taken her first few steps on, she, thanks to her unique connection to the Daughter, the Force wielder that embodied the light, she understood. She understood everything