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There was so many moments Harry wished he could take back, ones he could use a time turner for. But when he really thought about it, the only things he would change would be how much of an idiot he was.
~
Yule Ball was in close second in the list of most terrifying things Harry faced in fourth year, facing Voldemort with Cedric in definite first. This was also the year he discovered he may or may not like boys too.
Of course, Harry could recall time form his childhood where he liked boys in his class- especially that Jamey kid from third grade, but that’s for another time.
He suppressed his feelings as the Dursley’s already thought he was a freak- he didn’t want to give another reason for them to hurt him. He pretended part of him didn’t exist for their lives, and perhaps his sanity as well.
Harry didn’t think of it until fourth year, when he realized just who he wanted to take to the Yule Ball. Ronald Weasley, his best friend and partner in crime (literally).
To Harry, it was obvious that Ron and Hermione would go together but after the incident where Ron was a little bit of a jerk, that was out of the question. Maybe that was when Harry realizes he might actually have a chance- but then when Ron talked about Fleur Delacour for literal hours, he knew he might as well just ask a random girl to go with him.
So, he encouraged Ron to ask Fleur despite the fact it physically and emotionally drained Harry to even have that conversation.
That was the first mistake Harry would change- staying quiet.
~
Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger were destined to be together- or at least that was the conclusion Harry and come to staring at his friends side by side in Hogsmeade. They were so close together, it was clear they didn’t want to be interrupted. But Harry tripped and fell over a rock. He fell face first into the snow, it cooling his bright red cheeks. They rushed over and helped him to a sitting position. He sat on the ground, dazed, as his heart beat painfully out of his chest.
He was jealous of Hermione Granger, yes. But he was also jealous of Ron Weasley.
The second mistake he’d change would be staying silent.
~
As soon as Harry leapt out of Hagrid’s arms, he looked at the other side to see if Ron and Hermione were okay. He could hear gasps, pops of disappearing death eaters, crying and sobbing- but it didn’t matter. He just need to see them.
When he saw them in that split second, he was ready to cry. They were covered in dirt, blood, and tears. They went through this torturous mess because they were friends with him. They were hurt and it’s his fault.
The third mistake Harry would change would be dragging them into this hell with him.
~
The last mistake Harry made was after the battle, after everything had settled. It was Christmas, snow covering the ground outside and snowmen in front of the apartment complex.
Harry was sitting on the floor under a blanket, the carpet warm beneath him. Hermione sat on the couch, her newest book in her lap. She had received from Mrs. Weasley early that day- one about muggle sciences. Ron was dazing in and out of sleep next to Harry on the floor, his head in Harry’s lap as he snored obnoxiously.
“Hey, are you going to go on a date that guy from the chocolate shop? He seemed cute.” Harry asked softly, trying not wake Ron or their cats. Hermione looked at him with a frown, setting down her book with a bookmark.
“No, of course not.” She whispered, thoroughly confused by his question. It was rare for Hermione to be confused- she seemed to know everything.
“Wait, why?” He asked, wincing as Ron snores particularly loudly. She presses her lip together firmly as she thinks over it.
“Because...” she trails off, shaking her head and sighing. She picks back up her book and continues reading once more, aggravating Harry slightly. He hated when people didn’t tell him things- after years of secrets being kept for him, he had some trust issues when it came to that.
Ron seemed to feel his tense up and woke up, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. He looks over at Harry with worry but shakes it off when Harry smiles.
“What time is it?” He asks with a stretch and a yawn.
“It’s eight.” Hermione response, her words sharp and unsettling.
“What’s wrong, ‘Mione?” Ron ask, noticing the tone too. She sets down the book before staring at the boys with a sense of fondness in her eyes. She takes a deep breath.
“Are we dating?” Her question doesn’t seem pointed at either of them and it sort of hangs in the air with the pressure falling on all of their shoulder’s. The cats feel it too, some waking up and moving somewhere else.
“What?” Harry asks after a minute passes, the clock ticking. Hermione rushed to explain herself to she can make sense.
“We share an apartment together, we sleep in the same bed sometimes, make each other food, sleep in each other’s laps...” she motions to the two boys. “Remember when that girl was flirting with Ron just last week? Harry, you stepped up with him and he immediately said no after looking at you. Not that Rite Skeeter can ever tell the truth, but she writes that sometimes we’re too close and maybe she’s right- that we’re too close for best friends.”
Harry opened his mouth then closed it, trying to formulate words. Tons looks tentatively at him, red ears and red cheeks. No one knows what to say in fear of being wrong- that it’s not something they all want.
“I think we’re all cowards, that’s what.” Ron finally states. “No one will say anything in fear it’s not the unanimous opinion.” Harry frowns, judging himself slightly but plucks up some fo his Gryffindor courage to speak.
“I didn’t know- I don’t know what having best friends are like. You guys are my only ones I’ve ever had. I’ve also never dated anyone either. My point is, I don’t know boundaries.” He looks between them before continuing. “It was hard for me to distinguish platonic from romantic attraction but I just figured that was common for all best friends.” He finished and looks at his hands, needing someone to respond.
“Harry, that’s not uncommon among best friends to develop romantic feelings, it’s just not common either.” She shrugs, messing with her hair. It was her instinct to do so was she was nervous- even if she was told it brought attention to it.
“I like you two. Both do you. I don’t know how that works, but it’s the truth. I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable either.” Harry voices his last statement, the others staring at him with shock and maybe some happiness in there too.
“I have an Aunt Marla, Aunt Deedee, and Uncle Jack. They always said that Deedee was a family friend but it’s obvious that they were more- it’s not something I’m used to or something I’ve had experience with- but I want to.”
“So, back to the question: are we dating?” Hermione pets the black cat beside her in worry.
“I’d like to be.” Harry and Ron say it simultaneously. They look at Hermione with confirmation, who nods.
The last mistake Harry wishes he could change- worrying.