Chapter Text
The Pogues WhatsApp Group Chat
JJ: I’m ravished. Like, seriously. My stomach just growled so loudly Miss Watts started looking out the window
JJ: So, I’m thinking free food at The Wreck tonight, who’s in??
John B: I don’t think that means what you think it means bro
You: I’m in!
John B: Yeah, me too
JJ: (replying to: “I don’t think that means what you think it means bro”) what??
Kie: Whoa guys
You: Where even are you JJ?
Pope: He means famished.
Pope: Also, I’m in
JJ: Detention
John B: Ah, stealth detention messaging. Nice.
Kie: Seriously, wait a sec guys, I need to check with my dad
You: But Kie… JJ needs shrimp and grits and to be told he’s ravishing!
John B: What was Miss Watts looking for?
JJ: An angry dog, I think.
John B: wtf
JJ: (replying to: “But Kie, JJ needs shrimp and grits and to be told he’s ravishing!”) After a quick google, happy to say I’d be okay with that mate 😉
Pope: Now I’m picturing JJ as the heroine in an old Hollywood black and white…. Someone pass me the brain bleach
You: hahahahaha!
You: Someone needs to Photoshop this!
JJ: I take it back. Just shrimp and grits please
JJ: So, meet at The Wreck in an hour?
John B: Yep
Pope: Cool. See you there.
You: On my way
Kie: Seriously guys, you’re lucky my dad only pretends not to like you. He’s said it’s fine btw. See you soon.
********************************************************************
WhatsApp Chat with JJ
JJ: No
You: 😈
JJ: Don’t
You: No promises
You: Grace Kelly?
JJ: Not funny
You: Lana Turner?
JJ 😣
JJ: Fine, Audrey Hepburn
You: No way you could pull off Hepburn
JJ: Um, well, Marilyn Monroe then. Final offer
You: Sold
JJ: If I didn’t know you better I might be worried, but I know you’ll never be bothered to actually do this
You: I might surprise you
JJ: Not possible
You: Whatever
You: You out yet?
JJ: Yeah, she just let us go
You: Pick me up on your way?
JJ: Sure mate
You: Woop woop, shrimp awaits!
You: Well played with that btw 😊
JJ: Skill McGill
You: Dork
********************************************************************
Whatsapp Chat between you and JJ
You: OMG, did you see that?!
JJ: Yeah
You: He’s being really obvious!
You: Why doesn’t Kie notice?!
You: I mean, he’s not being very subtle
JJ: Yeah, they need to bang already
You: Nicely put
You: Do people even say bang anymore?
JJ: I just did, so yeah
You: Seriously, they would be so cute together!
JJ: Agreed.
JJ: Also, the banging. That needs to happen
You: Sigh
********************************************************************
John B created new WhatsApp group
John B added Kie and Pope to new group
John B named new group: “What are they even?!”
John B: They’re side texting again
Kie: Yep, caught that
Pope: What?
Kie: Seriously Pope, how could you miss that?! They’ve been sitting right in front of us all night!
Pope: Yeah, but what’s new?
Pope: Seriously though, isn’t that also what we’re doing right now?
Kie: Touché
John B: Yeah, but this is the first time we have and they literally do it all the time. Also, we waited until we got home to talk about them, we’re not sitting at the same table
Pope: True. But, so what? We all know they’ve got their own little thing going on – the super intense side friendship within the main friendship group.
Kie: Yes, but they should be more than friends! They’re clearly perfect for each other, but they’re both too dumb to see it!
John B: Truer words
Kie: We should help them
Pope: What?
John B: YES!
Kie: Stage 1: We need to get them to realise they have feelings for each other.
Kie: Stage 2: We need to get one of them to make a move.
Pope: But what if they don’t want to jeopardize their friendship?
Kie: Stage 3: We then all need to get earplugs for when we stay over that the Chateau, because the nocturnal noise levels will get ridiculous
John B: Gross. I love it. I’m in.
John B changed the name of the group to “Project Earplugs”
Pope: There are so many variables here that we haven’t though about
John B: Buzz kill
Kie: Come on Pope! It’ll be fun!
John B: Just a little bit of harmless meddling
Kie: Would you feel better if we made you Project Manager?
Pope: Haha, very funny.
Pope: I want veto power
John B: Not if you’re just going to veto everything
Pope: Well, if I make a spreadsheet you’ve both got to listen while I explain it. I think we should properly examine the variables first, our actions could have severe consequences. Then I’ll come up with a few ideas for actioning Stage 1. We should properly discuss the options before we act.
John B: Wow Pope, you’ve just made something fun sound like homework.
Pope: Can’t reply now, spreadsheeting.
********************************************************************
WhatsApp chat between John B and Kie
John B: Project Manager? You’ve created a monster
Kie: He’s just being Pope
John B: OMG, a spreadsheet! Seriously Kie, what have you done?! Haha
Kie: He’s just concerned about his friends. I think it’s sweet.
John B: Okaaaay
********************************************************************
WhatsApp chat between John B and JJ
John B: I get so annoyed when there’s something that needs to be made fun of and you’re not there.
JJ: What are you on about bro?
JJ: You know I’m in the spare room right? Who needs making fun of? You could literally shout it from there and I could hear you
John B: Yeah, never mind
JJ: Whatever dude
********************************************************************
WhatsApp chat between you and JJ
JJ: John B’s being weird
You: huh?
JJ: I think he might have forgotten I was in the house
You: Jeez, what did you walk in on?!
JJ: Nothing like that
JJ: He’s just messaged me about teasing someone and complained I wasn’t there to hear it. Idk what that was about
You: You’re right, weird
JJ: Tbh, didn’t think you’d text back tonight, bit late for you isn’t it? wyd? 😉
You: Mind out of the gutter please
You: Nothing much, just on my laptop proving you wrong
JJ: No
You: Yep. Surprise, surprise!
JJ: No way
You sent a picture file.
You: Night Marilyn 😊
JJ: Oh dear God