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All was normal in Seasoning City, there hasn’t been a huge psychic threat in a while. Mob and Reigen only had to worry about the small exorcism work around town, so they could enjoy their personal lives better. The steady work flow isn’t much of a bother to either of them as it allows for a nice daily task.
Recently, Mob has been tasked with a daily mission, where he must exorcise a recurring demon at the local MobDonalds. Every day he is required to wear a corn cob costume and spin a sign to scare off the looming demon, or that’s at least what Reigen told him. Mob spends a few hours each day outside the establishment with him levitating the sign above his head as he wiggles his fingies in the air for extra flare. The sign reads “MobDonalds limited time exclusive Corn Mobs on a stick” for their new promotion.
Mob tries to stay enthused during his current assignment, but it’s starting to get him after doing it for the past 4 days. He just moves that sign like a good little boy for what seems like forever. As time passes more and more people are attracted to the establishment by Mob’s twirling. Luckly, Mob hasn’t encountered anyone he knows as he does this act, especially not Tsubomi. As Mob begins to doubt how much the is helping the demon problem, Tome spots him in his Corn Mob set up. She walks over with her sexy pink DS in her pocket. She asks, “Uhhh...Mob, why are you a corn?”
“Master said that if I do this, it’ll deter the demon that wishes to demolish this restaurant chain” said Mob in his usual monotone voice.
Tome gives a smug look, like if you rated her out of 10 on how smug she looked, that bitch would be SMUG. “You’re still taking those wack ass jobs, look at yourself, you’re a corn Mob, a corn.”
“I guess this task was a little out of the ordinary” Mob says as he looks down at the ground with the corn costume ™ hiding his mouth in slight shame.
“Did he even tell you what the name of this “demon” was, Mob?” Tome asks, doubting the entire assignment.
Mob looks back at Tome and says, “Burger King”. Tome can’t believe how dumb that sounded. She tells him to get out of that costume as she goes to get them two corn mobs.
Mob walks to the bathroom that is located on the side of the building to get out of the corn costume ™ . He enters the men’s section and squeezes out of the costume from the head whole. The bathroom looks quite immaculate with every surface shining. Mob washes his face by the sink to get some of the sweat off from standing in the sun all day. He wiggles all the water off so he is no longer damp. He takes his corn costume ™ and leaves the bathroom.
Mob sees Tome stand outside the MobDonalds with two corn mobs on a stick. She is already suckling hers because of the butter melting on it. “There you are Mob, took you long enough, your corn mob is drippy '', Tome calls out. Mob stares at the melty corn mob admiringly. “Uh, Mob. Get rid of that raggy costume already, it smells like ass bro.”
Mob throws the corn costume ™ into its designated costume bin by the mobdonals gate. He then snags his corn mob from Tome’s delicious buttery hand. Mob thanks her for getting him a nice little treat as they walk around town together. The two suclke their corn mobs together as they chat about after school clubs.
As the two continue to chat, Mob’s phone begins to ring. Mob answers only to hear Reigen’s shouting voice, “Mob!!! Where’s the Corn Mob, Mob!!!”
“Uhhh...Corn Mob got a corn mob” said Mob hoping master won’t be as mad.
“YOU WHAT!!! Mob this job is of utmost importance, all these people are around this restaurant without a powerful corn esper to protect it. Think of the kids Mob” Reigen said angrily, clenching a corn mob in his hand
“Not to be rude but you never told me how a corn and esper hybrid was supposed to ward off a demon” Mob asked as Tome is devouring the corn mob in spectacular fashion.
“Mob, babycakes, you know demons work in unique ways” Reigen sighs, “Besides, you should have at least told me you felt for today, the MobDonalds manager is flipping out without its corn mob.”
“Sorry master, I guess it was spur of the moment,” Mob said while nibbling his corn mob.
Reigen responds with slight disappointment, “It’s okay, I’ll go take over, I’ll see ya later Mob.”
“Okay, see you, master” Mob hangs up and continues his hangout with Tome. They plan on heading to the shopping center and hanging out for the rest of the day.
As Mob goes on to enjoy the rest of his free day, Reigen is stuck in an undersized corn costume ™ , sweating his ass off with an advertising sign. “Oh my god, I didn’t know this suit was such a pain in the ass,” Reigen exclaimed with sweat covering his forehead. He had been taking Mob’s spot for what seemed like hours, but in reality was about 37 and a half minutes. Reigen passed the time in the by suckling as many corn mobs as he needed. And boy did he suckle them good…...what, anyways he was out there for a long time.
Reigen struggles to pull in as many customers as Mob did due to him not being able to spin the sign as skillfully. In fact, he keeps fumbling it on the ground. As he goes to pick up the sign, a little boy points at him and tugs his mother’s skirt. “Mommy, mommy look. There’s an old bum dressed as a corn mob,” yelled the snot nosed boy.
“Now, now, don’t make fun of the homeless Timmy,” the mother reprimanded her son as she dragged him away.
Reigen overheard the mother and boy duo and shattered his ego more than it was before. He grits his teeth and in that moment he decides that he is done for today. He angrily atoms to the bathroom area with his corn leaves rustling. He plops out of the corn costume ™ and throws it in the outside dumpster. “Humf, serves that thing right.” He kicks the dumpster and stubs his toe. “Ack!!!”
Reigen proceeds to scream at the dumpster. But little did he know the chain reaction he just started. Although he didn’t take the Burger King demon seriously, there was trouble brewing there due to there not being a Corn Mob guardian in front of the MobDonalds establishment during its limited time offer.
Reigen notices a cold waft of air behind him. This alarming feeling causes him to turn around. He sees a burger king crown laying on the ground. His eyes widen as the ground starts to shake. Panic spreads throughout the MobDonalds line as the establishment begins to sink into the ground. A tiny mountain emerges with a Burger King on top of it. Reigen freaks out and calls Mob.
While all that was happening, Mob was still hanging out with Tome as they had a fun and exciting day in an Ikea. They have just exited the Swidish furniture store with meatball platters in hands. Mob’s phone starts playing Shawty Like a Melody as a ringtone for Reigen. Tome is quick to blurt out, “Oh my, it’s not who I think it is is it”
Mob just stares directly into Tome’s eyes as his eyes get increasingly bigger. Mob answers his absurdly tiny phone to hear Reigen freaking out. “Holy...MOB,MOB,MOB listen! You need to get over to MobDonalds right no…” Beep Beep Beep. Reigen was cut off due to an unknown reason.
“Tome, I think I need to go to MobDonalds now, master seems to be having trouble,” said Mob as he threw away his meatball platter.
Tome squints in confusion“Wha...alright, well imma head back home. I have to put these meatballs in the fridge for later.” The two say their goodbyes and part ways. Tome seems a little annoyed Mob had to be taken away for work on such short notice.
Mob rushes like Sonic down the street back to where the mountain has erected itself. He sees Reigen at the bottom of the mini mountain with the Burger King on top. Mob greets his master as Reigen fills him in on what happened
After Mob hears the story about the mini mount Burger King, it’s clear that there is only one thing left to do. Mob retrieves the corn costume ™ from the dumpster and flies up to the Burger King door with both hands in the air. He slowly opened the door to see the man behind it all. A vocaloid voice can be heard from the shadows, “Haha, I see we have a corn mob on the loose, looks like it's time to double down on the serving.” It was none other than Hatsune Miku holding a whopper, standing while a smug smile.
“Miss Miku, why did you want to destroy the MobDonalds?” asked Mob with his wittle voice.
Miku scoffed, “Noob, can’t you see, MobDonalds’ new promotion only stands in the way of my new promotion with Burger King-sama.” Her face looked very evil with her smile going ear to ear as she took a bite from her whopper.
“Miku, can’t you see, nothing but harm was brought to the people you're trying to sell to. Look at them, down there. They’re screaming for their lives.” Progression toward Mob’s explosion has risen to 69% due to Miku's neglectful actions.
She laughs in vocaloid. “Nothing more than a minor loss to my profit margin, HEHEHE MWAHAHAHAHA”
“No! Don’t you see, they’re more than a profit margin. They’re more than loyal and valued customers, they’re the life and soul of this community. And I’m beginning to think that they don’t need this so called whopper,” progression toward Mob’s explosion had risen to 76%
Miku cracks her knuckles and lets out a high pitched squeal that shatters the windows. “You’re just like one of them, esper or not. Nothing more than a little bug for me to squash.” She throws her whopper at Mob and starts to float and glows purple.
Mob’s corn costume ™ got stained from the mess of a burger that was thrown. Progression toward Mob’s explosion grew to 90% as he stared at the pile of tomato, onion, lettuce, and meat. Miku proceeded to laugh at Mob, taunting him further. “Alright, it’s time to end this man’s whole career!!!”
Miku begins to float across the Burger King floor toward Mob as the progression toward his explosion reaches 100%. Mob goes and does the only thing he can think of. He reaches down into his pocket and throws a corn mob at Miku. It knocks her on the forehead, leaving a buttery mark on her head. It starts to sizzle and boil causing Miku to scream in immense pain until she turns into dust and blows away.
Mob floats out of the Burger King as it sinks back into the Earth. He lands near Reigen and Dimple while MobDonalds rises back up and everything goes back to normal. “Woah Mob, that was quick,” Reigen said with a thumbs up
“Yeah, Miku wanted Burger King to rule the world but I had to stop her,” Mob explained while looking intently at his master.
“Well regardless, let's take a break, it’s been a long day” Reigen patted Mob’s little corn head
“Wait a minute, Dimple, when did you get here. Why did you appear so late in this story?” Mob questioned while staring at his floating green friend.
Dimple explained, “Well ya see, the author forgot to write me in earlier because he was too busy thinking of Tome’s feet to include me,” Mob and Reigen just stare at him like he has no idea what he is talking about. “What!? It was his fault not mine.” Dimple crossed his arms in anger.
Mob and Reigen are still confused but just shrug their shoulders and go along with it. “Anyways, let’s go relax at the office, maybe there might be a new job wait.” They all walk off as the credits roll.
Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to get back to playing animal crossing new horizons on nintendo switch.