Work Text:
'God, I wish I never spoke
Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap'
-Soap by Melanie Martinez
Mew had always known that loving his co-actor would be the start of his doom. He had learnt his lesson before. But he always thought that this time it wouldn’t cause him a problem unless he said it out loud like the last time. Everything will be fine because he would never ever let his feelings be know by the other. So what was he doing now in front of the said co-actor's condo waiting in his car out alone.
He shouldn’t be here . Not when everything inside him is a mess. When all his feelings are about to tumble out . Not when the said co-actor had just started trusting him completely. Not when the said co-actor needed his support not a confession. But why wasn’t his heart listening to him. Why was it begging him to let it all out.
It all started when his co-actor had called him and said that he had missed him. His heart felt like it would come out of his throat. They hadn’t seen each other for two days and he thought he would be the only one missing the other. But he was clearly proven wrong.
'Does he miss me the way I miss him?'
His co-actor was a tight lipped person. So for him to express such a thing meant that he had truly missed him.
'Does he like me the way I like him? Will he love me back if I tell him about my feelings?'
These thoughts only ignited a strong desire to confess everything. His heart was absolutely out of his control.
Mew took a deep breath trying to steady his erratic breathing. He hastily took off his seat belt and went out. If this is what his heart wants then so be it. Even though he knows this would do him no good ,he still wanted to do it. It’s getting harder and harder for him to hide his feelings . Anyways, most people already knew about it just by seeing his heart eyes towards the other. So why not let his co-actor know it too.
' Why am I even doing this? Why do you even want to do this heart? Haven’t you learned your lesson already? Yai Nong might have opened his heart for me but not the way I have opened it for him. This rash decision would only ruin everything that I have now.'
This was the monologue that went on in Mew's head before his hands automatically knocked on the door. I should better leave before he opens the door. Before he could act on his thoughts ,he heard the door's lock click. He wasn’t really ready for the sight that greeted him. Gulf, his co-actor ,the man he loves with all his heart opening the door in a cat onesie. He looked way too cute for Mew’s fragile heart.
On seeing Mew, Gulf gave his sweet smile that showed even his gums. Ethereal. Mew couldn’t hold it anymore. He had to confess unless he wanted to burst from all the frustration. Mew stepped inside the condo as Gulf invited him in. Gulf was asking him something but all Mew could think was how he was going to be rejected and how everything was going to fall apart. Although he knew the results, he didn’t want to stop.
Controlling his chain of depreciating thoughts he sat on the couch. Gulf looked at him with a bemused expression because he wasn’t replying to anything Gulf asked. Gulf also took a seat beside Mew, close enough for their knees to be touching. Slowly he could see the worry and frown lines on Gulf’s face. But with everything he could also see the affection and the patience and that is when the dam finally broke.
Mew told Gulf how much he loved him. How Gulf had brought shine back in his life and helped him grow into a better person. He was Mew’s sun , beautiful and bright. How Gulf made him breath a little easier and how he had picked up the broken pieces that were ones scattered all over. After confessing for a whole of ten minutes , Mew finally raised his head that he had kept down busy staring Gulf’s hands the whole time.
Gulf had a strange look on his face. One he couldn’t fathom. Mew felt his eyes tearing up.
' I shouldn’t have spoke. Shouldn’t have said anything. What was I expecting? Everything is over. Everything is ruined now .'
He slowly stood up without any words and reached for the door. That is when Gulf came back into reality.
With a speed unknown to him , Gulf grabbed Mew in a tight hug. Mew felt his shirt getting damp. He was astonished by the sudden turn of events. When he finally understood what was happening he slowly pulled Gulf away from his arms only to find him smiling through his tears.
“I never thought you would open your heart for me Phi. I knew how much you suffered before so I thought I would never have a chance. Thank you for trusting me Phi. I love you too. Have loved you for a while now. “
These words that he never imagined to hear were actually being said by his co-actor. Everything felt like a dream to both of them. They never knew that one day they would get to be together. It was really a dream come true. Mew gave Gulf a wide grin with some tears shedding from his eyes. Gulf returned the grin and hugged Mew again and sighed in content. This was something he longed to do but never thought he would get to do it without his feelings being outed.
Gulf finally got his P'Mew all for himself. Now he needn’t worry about anything. Mew finally found his peace in his Nong Gulf. Just like how Tharn healed and filled Type with love ,Gulf had did the same for Mew. Mew would always be grateful to Gulf and also their hearts.
' Thank you Yai Nong for giving me your heart. Thank you heart for being strong and making me confess. I thought this would be my worst decision but looks like this is the best decision that I have ever made in my life. '