Chapter Text
Yahaba was smart. Everyone knew that. He was cold, and calculating, and cared for nobody. But he had a soft spot. And it was for a boy named Kyoutani. He was like a cute angry puppy. Don't get him wrong, Kyoutani was the worst, but he kept noticing the boy everywhere. Like when you don't need something, it appears. The team didn't notice and if they did, they didn't care enough to tell him they could see him staring at Kyoutani's ass. And oh god, what an ass. Both his ass-like behavior and round ass were impressive. Yahaba found himself glimpsing at Kyoutani in the changing rooms. His sculpted abs. His strong arms. His thighs that could crush a man's head. Yahaba couldn't get him out of his head. And he hated it. Why couldn't he be a normal guy who gossiped about the hottest girls with his bros? Why did he have to fall into the gay setter category? Dear lord, if he was gay, there wasn't a better person for it to be for.
Third year he decided to tell him. Then he did what he did best. Yahaba thought. And when he thought, he worried. What if Kyoutani rejected him? What of the team? They graduated, Yahaba still thinking. Their paths were constant. Kyoutani moved into the apartment next door. They joined the 'Volleyball Retiree's Tea Club,' as Oikawa liked to call it. They made bonds together. Became good friends. But Yahaba couldn't tell him. The words just wouldn't come out. And so he sat. And watched.
Then Kyoutani found a boyfriend. You wouldn't guess they were dating, by the effort. 'Terushima Yuuji.' They met at a gay bar. Yahaba was there. Like he always was. Watching. Wishing. Regretting everything he had done up until this point. 5 years he had liked Kyoutani and 5 years he had sat in silence. Kyoutani and the boyfriend never kissed. From what Yahaba heard, they hadn't fucked. They didn't spend time together. So why were they together?
2 months they had been dating and then they broke up. Yahaba was there for Kyoutani on those empty weeks, where Kyoutani cried into Yahaba's shoulder about some boy named Bobata and how Yuuji left him and didn't love him, and he wasn't capable of anything. Yahaba never once spoke up. What was he supposed to say, "Well... actually, I've been in love with you since our second year of high school, but I have a deep-rooted fear of rejection, which infects my daily life and caused me to create a superiority complex to hide behind, all fueled by my love for you?" That's stupid and unnecessary. Yahaba could wait.