Work Text:
Breathe in, breathe out. He was fine.
It was the first day back at school after Spring Break. Gilbert had gone two weeks without seeing anybody, which was a feat in itself seeing as Avonlea was as small as his closed fist. The only person he had seen was Cole MacKenzie. They’d become quite close in the matter of sixteen days.
A lot had changed. For one, Gilbert’s hair was shorter. His curls were just as prominent, if not more so with his new hairstyle. He quite liked it. Second of all, he’d gotten himself a new wardrobe. Bash had been a great help in picking out some new clothes for Gilbert to wear. It had been one of the most fun days of his life.
Last but not least, Gilbert was returning to school as Gilbert. When he had left, he was known as Lucy.
It had been a long time coming, his acceptance of being transgender. For the past term, he’d been accepted as non-binary and went by they/them pronouns. But over the holidays, it became more and more clear that he was not non-binary. He was a male, and there was nothing wrong with that.
Cole had been one of the greatest friends. He was the first one Gilbert came out to, which was surprising, seeing as they hadn’t really talked prior to that. Nevertheless, Cole held his hand as Gilbert came out, and hugged him when he cried. In less than a few hours, they became close friends. Cole offered to help him with some voice exercises to lower the pitch of his voice. He came alone with Bash to help him pick new clothes. And best of all, he treated Gilbert as if he had always been Gilbert, never Lucy. Cole never slipped up with his name or pronouns. It made Gilbert’s heart hurt with affection.
When it came to the day before school, Cole was at Gilbert’s house early in the morning, helping him prepare for the big day. They talked over every possibility that could occur, as well as what they would do if something bad happened. Gilbert suggested emailing Miss Stacy before they went in, and she had responded with excitement at having another boy in the class.
Gilbert was ready. He had been for a while. But that didn’t take away from the fact that Avonlea School was tiny, and if something went terribly wrong, there were far too little places to hide.
You’ve got this, Blythe.
He walked in.
Nearly everyone was already in the small building, mingling and catching up with one another over the past two weeks. Gilbert let out a shaky sigh and scanned the room. Cole was here, as were Anne, Moody and Diana. The latter three were the next few people he was going to come out to personally. The rest of the class would probably find out when Miss Stacy said his name for roll call.
He shed his scarf and jacket and hung it up on a peg. It looked weird seeing a more masculine-looking jacket on the peg, but it was nice. Gilbert hadn’t felt this happy in a while. The euphoria of having a male jacket was enough to encourage him out of the cloak room.
”Wow, you changed your hair!” Diana said upon his arrival to where she was sitting with Diana. “It looks really good, Lu.”
Gilbert coughed. “Actually,” he said, “I’m going by Gilbert now.”
Anne was immediately up and out of her seat, throwing herself into Gilbert’s arms with all the love and affection that a close friend could bear. She was letting him go quickly after, a deep scarlet painting her cheeks.
”Sorry, I didn’t mean to hug you without your permission. Is it okay if I hug you, Gilbert?”
Oh, wow. That felt nice.
”Yes,” Gilbert said, breathless. “Please.”
He hugged Anne back this time, squeezing her into his chest and rocking them back and forth. Of course she would understand. Of course it was all okay. Gilbert had nothing to worry about.
”I’m so happy for you,” Anne whispered into his ear. “I’m always here for you.”
”Thanks, Anne-girl.”
Diana coughed. They let go of one another and turned to look at her. She had an eyebrow raised and a displeased expression on her face. Gilbert’s heart thumped wildly in his chest. Was it over before it could begin?
She stood up from her seat and closed the small distance between them. Anne gripped at Gilbert’s hand, a subtle reminder that he was not alone. Diana was scaring him, and he was tempted to tell her to back off.
”I won’t pretend that I fully understand, because I don’t,” Diana said. “But I’m willing to listen and I want to learn. This isn’t about me, it’s about you, and whatever makes you happy.” She held out her gloved hand. “Welcome to Avonlea School, Gilbert.”
He let out a sigh of relief. Maybe Diana didn’t understand, but that was okay. She wanted to to be taught. She wasn’t shunning him away.
Gilbert gave Diana a firm handshake, and they burst into laughter. The tension from before dissolved like a melted piece of chocolate on the tongue. They were okay.
”Glad to see you’re making friends,” Cole said, wrapping an arm around Gilbert’s shoulders. Gilbert looked at him and nudged his side. “What? New boy in the class, you’re surely to be popular. Already a hit with the ladies, as I can see.”
Anne giggled. “You knew, Cole?”
”I was the first person Gilbert rang. He’s my main man, now, aren’t you, Blythe?”
”Fuck off,” Gilbert laughed, pushing Cole away. They arm-wrestled for a moment before wrapping and arm around the other’s waist. “On a serious note, Cole’s been a great help. I wouldn’t have had the courage to come here today if it weren’t for him.”
”That’s why we love him,” Anne said.
”Indeed we do.”
The bell rang not too long after that. The class scattered and ran for their seats, not without throwing questioning looks between them as Gilbert followed Cole and took a seat beside him. That was unusual. Gilbert usually sat with Anne and Diana.
Miss Stacy entered the room from the back office with a cheery smile on her face. Her eyes filtered over to Gilbert for a second and she winked. He felt himself turn slightly red.
”Good morning my lovely students!” She said. “I hope you all had a wonderful Spring Break, and I can’t wait to hear about it all over the next few hours. But first, we have a new student.”
Gilbert stood up. His chair scraped across the wooden floor with a hideous sound, silencing the room. He felt nervous under everyone’s eye, like they were scrutinising his every mood. As quickly as he had looked up, he looked back down again and picked at a scab on his arm.
Miss Stacy continued; “As you can see, here we have Gilbert. You may recognise him, but you should make him feel welcome nevertheless. We’re so happy to have you, Gil.”
”Thanks, Miss Stacy.”
Gilbert fell back into his seat as the room erupted into hushed whispers. Cole soothingly rubbed his back and whispered words of comfort and encouragement in his ear. Not too long ago, Cole was under their classmates scrutiny when he came out as gay. Whilst it wasn’t the same thing, Gilbert could appreciate that it took just as much strength and courage to do so as it did for himself. They were a community, after all, and as it was quickly becoming evident, one did not come out only once.
Miss Stacy, bless her heart, tried to calm the class down, but a few heated debates had broken out and she was unable to quieten the restless bunch. Gilbert felt bad. If the class should have been arguing about anything, it should have been the debate topics Miss Stacy had given them, not his gender identity. This was no way to return to school after a two week break.
”Wait, so you’re telling me that Lucy is now a dude?” Billy said with disgust.
”No, dickhead.” Tillie rolled her eyes. “Gilbert has and always will be a guy. He was just given the wrong name, that’s all.”
”How the fuck does that make sense?”
”Guys, language,” Miss Stacy said. She sighed. “I can acknowledge that some of you may not understand what’s going on, but I do ask that you respect the situation, and most importantly, Gilbert.”
”But she’s a girl,” Billy argued. “So she got a fucking haircut and changed her clothes. That doesn’t change the fact that Lucy is a girl.”
”His name is Gilbert, and he is a guy,” Cole said between gritted teeth.
”Look, I don’t necessarily understand it, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong,” Diana said. “All it means is that I need to be educated on the matter. Gilbert is being true to himself, and that’s all that matters. How can we not respect that?”
“Because she’s a fucking fag, that’s why!”
”Billy Andrews!” Miss Stacy roared. “How dare you? We do not use such derogatory language in this class. Your lack of understanding doesn’t warrant you being rude. Apologise to Gilbert this instant!”
Gilbert couldn’t believe what was happening. He watched on from the back of the room as Billy got up and stormed out, yelling about how his parents were going to hear about this. As the door slammed shut behind him, his motorcycle roared to life, and everyone watched through the window as he zoomed away.
This was all his fault. If Gilbert had given his friends and classmates more time, if he hadn’t been so insistent in coming out so quickly, maybe none of this would have happened. Nobody should feel uncomfortable at school, even jerks like Billy.
Jane got up and excused herself to try and call her brother. She passed by Gilbert as she went, rubbing his back and mouthing a sorry his way. It didn’t help. Gilbert felt much too guilty to accept an apology of any kind, least of all an apology from someone who hadn’t done anything wrong in the first place.
He realised much too late that he was crying. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks and dripped off his chin. Stupid boy, stupid boy, stupid boy. Billy was right. Gilbert was nothing but a faggot.
”I’m sorry that you all had to witness such disgusting behaviour,” Miss Stacy said, effectively breaking the trance that had settled over the class. She turned to Gilbert. “I’m afraid I can’t change your thoughts and beliefs, but I can try to help influence them. Billy was wrong. You are a wonderful person, and you are just as much of a man as Cole is, or Moody, or Charlie, or Billy himself. I think I speak for the class when I say that we accept you.”
Gilbert cried harder at his teacher’s words. He dug the heels of his hands into his eyes at the same time that Cole moved to rub gentle circles in his back.
”I’m so sorry,” he whimpered. “I didn’t mean to cause a scene. I’m sorry if I’ve made anyone uncomfortable.”
”Gilbert, you’re our classmate and our friend. You’re the smartest person I know, and also the kindest. You’ve been there for us when we’ve been down, so we’ll do the same for you. Don’t ever apologise for being who you are.”
He looked up to see Anne standing on her desk, looking down at him with a proud smile. She said, “Anyone who says otherwise has never been a friend. And for those who don’t understand, we’ll educate ourselves until we do. But that does not invalidate who you are. You are Gilbert Blythe, the brave, strong boy we know and love. The only thing that’s changed is your hair is curlier than before.”
Gilbert snorted. It was an ugly sound around his snot filled nose, but Anne always had the ability to make him laugh despite the situation they were in. He shook his head and smiled.
”I’ve never been more grateful for you than I am now, Carrots.”
”Oh, fuck off!” She laughed.
”Language!” Miss Stacy said, but she was smiling.
••
”Is it wrong to say that I find you really fucking hot?”
Gilbert snorted. “It’s no less wrong than it is weird. But there again, you’ve always been weird.”
Moody raised his hands in defence. “Those are your words, not mind. Most people find me quite charming.”
It was after school, and Gilbert had invited Anne, Diana, Moody and Cole around to his place to play video games and chill out. It had been a long day, and all he wanted to do was relax with his good friends. They’d all agreed to it as soon as he proposed the idea.
Bash had made some snacks for them, and they munched on popcorn and lollies as they battled it out at Mario Kart on the Wii. That’s right, they were hardcore gamers.
”Dare I say, I think Moody has a bit of a crush on you, Gilbert,” Diana teased.
”I do not!” Moody said defensively. “I was just commenting on the fact that Gilbert is really attractive. Nothing wrong with that.”
Anne laughed. “You literally had to ask if it was weird to call him hot.”
”Yeah, and? I was trying to be respectful. Consent and that.”
Gilbert shook his head. “Alright, let’s not lose ourselves over my sexiness. We’ve established that I’m attractive, now move on.”
”What if I don’t want to?”
”Moody,” Anne warned.
He sighed. “You guys are no fun. Hey, Cole, you free tonight.”
Cole reached down from his position on the couch and slapped Moody’s head. “I wouldn’t take your sorry ass out even if you begged. I’ve got higher standards than that, babe.”
Gilbert raised his hand and hi-fived Cole. The girls laughed.
This was the type of thing Gilbert had always craved; being his true self around people he loved and trusted. Okay, Moody was a bit of a flirt, but it was all in good nature. In fact, Gilbert found it rather flattering. Moody found him attractive - no, he found him really fucking hot. That was not something to overlook.
After everything that happened at school, he was glad that he still had people who he could call friends. Things could have gone a lot worse, and Gilbert was grateful that they had gone in the direction it had. Miss Stacy was on his side and she had promised to talk to Billy, and she had scheduled in bi-weekly talking on sexual health and the LGBTQ community; not just because of Gilbert, but because she believed the curriculum was in dire need of updated teachings in such area. If anything, Gilbert being an openly trans made had only influenced the way he and his peers learned. It was an honour, really.
And this: lounging around, screaming and cursing each other out over Mario Kart was what it all came down to. No longer did Gilbert have to hear the wrong name being spoken out of people’s mouths. They now cursed him with his true name. He’d never been happier.
”Oh, for shit’s sake,” Diana groaned. She threw the Wii remote to her left. “Damn you and your quick turns, Gilbert Blythe.”
”It’s all in the wrist, Di,” he said. “You just have to practise.”
”Yeah, with what Wii?”
”My one?”
Anne stood up in excitement. “Oh, my God. We should come here weekly and have game nights! We could battle it out on Mario Kart, Wii Sports Resort, Super Mario - imagine the possibilities!”
”I would crush your asses,” Cole said.
”You wish,” Moody sneered back.
”Gilbert?” Anne prompted, giving him her infamous puppy eyes.
He couldn’t help it. He broke into a smile and relented, shaking his head in shame. “Fine, as you wish. But just know, I will beat each and every single one of you. Call your parents because you’ll want to be picked up.”
”Your fighting words are no threat to me, boy,” Cole said. He bounded off the couch and held out his arm as if he were brandishing a sword. “Care to try and take me down now, man to man?”
Gilbert stood up and held up his own fake sword. “As you wish, dear boy.”
They laughed until tears rolled down their cheeks as they pretended to have a sword fight. Anne, Diana and Moody were quick to join in, falling over themselves as they climbed over furniture and dived for cover. They were seventeen year olds parading around the lounge room like seven year olds, and Gilbert couldn’t be happier.
His name was Gilbert Blythe, and he was not a boy.
He was a man.