Chapter Text
Homura couldn't explain it. How could she?
She never wanted to be a magical girl intended to save people, but she knew for a fact she ever wanted to protect one person. But how can she if she doesn't even remember who she was protecting? All that's left are fragments hidden in her skull, of some girl that stole her heart and youth, but she never existed. It's so abstract, this girl, this being, that has been keeping Homura up every night for who knows how long, and each time she attacks those things that storm through the town... for what? The memories keep untangling itself each time Homura tried to grasp it-- no, grasp her-- but it only ever leaves her heart beating in a rhythm foreign to her. Rushing from rapture, that there was a person she cared for, out there in this expansive world, and that somehow she knows that person had cared for her as well, but the next moment her heart instead throbs as it lurches to her throat and suffocates her mind with questions. How does she know this girl? Where have they met? When had they met? And why is she so dear to Homura, that the idea of not knowing disgusts her heart?
Once the hammerspace on her forearm went back to its rhythmic ticks, explosions went off each direction as it tore each wraith apart-- huh, wraiths? Is that what they were called? Homura could have sworn it was witches, but those memories keep overlapping-- as a cacophony of anguish and laughter wept, once the fumes and dust cleared so did the foul cries drown out. The few wraiths that endured those explosions, however, crawled at neck-breaking speed towards Homura as it chanted to itself its cursed sorrows yet Homura didn't budge.
She stared blankly at those beings as the ground under her began to rumble, but even with this, she raised her arm to brush her hair and to touch the ribbon. A red ribbon. It was a gift from that very someone. To be fair she doesn't think it suits her attire and it had no meaning, in this world at least, but its existence is all that Homura needed to know that there was, in fact, a someone.
The wraith used this moment to sink its claw towards Homura only to miss by a millisecond as she manoeuvres into a barreling dodge, rolling on the ground only for the wraith to watch the monochromatic magi puella pull out a gun and aim it towards its meaningless head. Bang. Once. Twice. Her gun was hurriedly unloading, her hand tossing the now empty gun aside just as quickly to grab another through her shield with the many firearms at her predisposal, leaping aside from the nightmares to keep cocking her Glock towards them as they continue to follow her aimlessly as she calmly and effortlessly shoots each bastard in the face. Once. Twice. Tossed away for another gun.
Screams, oh how they cry, each time she decimates each but it couldn't be helped. No, it would never be helped. Their bodies fall and spasm with each precisive shot, only for the empty girl to run atop these rags of broken dreams to get to higher grounds and continue to aim, her arms stretched out as the barrels steadily ignites and shoot out each shell, and with each round, a body falls only to slowly dissolve to dust. How can you feel bad for these things if there is never a body to stare right at you, to question your place in morality? Homura tossed the gun once more and switched for a pipe bomb, tossing it towards the crowd as she rolls off till it explodes with the hot air and debris etch into her skin. Once it was certain there were no more wraiths, and that the land is as desolate and lifeless as before, that is when she stopped to catch her breath, eyeing through the clearing to prove that she is indeed alone.
The wind picked up seemingly out of nowhere, blowing on the rubble of what was once wraiths gently towards Homura's ankle as she stared blankly into the distance, in which the Mitakihara city stood with the hues of the city lights clashing with the gloomy night sky. The city was safe and clueless as always, a time capsule held in place never knowing what is going on in this everchanging world. Would they ever notice? And if they did, would it change anything? Homura glanced off to ignore the city and the people. It was a job well done and a job that will never be thanked for, but it's fine, that's what it means to take on as a magical girl after all.
But why did Homura's knees give out? She got out of that unscathed, and even if she was physically harmed her soul gem stayed intact-- although bleeding to black-- yet she has been doing this job various times, so why? Why is she quivering uncontrollably like a frightful child? What is it that's on her mind that caused her more dread than these monsters she fights nightly? Daily? Constantly? Her shoulders fell as she tried to catch herself, her chest contracts each time she tries to take a breath but her throat itched for her to cry out, to do anything else. Her hand shakily raised to untie the ribbon on her head, staring intensely as this red strip overflows her with sensations that were alien to her a moment ago, wrapping the ribbon around her fingers tightly til she watched her tips constrict and become a purple tint but no shock could register. Once you become a magical girl for long enough, you stop registering pain, but it doesn't stop the bottling emotions that are held inside. She clutched the ribbon tightly and held her fist to her chest, curling over to finally let out those emotions she swore died a long time ago.
"K-KANAME..!" Homura screeched at the top of her lungs, her throat continued to itch to continue, to spill the contents of her sentiments or her organs whichever, as she slammed her clutched fists confiscated of air as her body spontaneously convulses for its untimely mourning "MADOKA, MADOKA, MADOKA!" She wails that name, a name that meant nothing to anyone but her, and she kept pouring her lungs but tears refuse to escape her pleas. Why couldn't she cry? Why won't she cry for this person? Why couldn't she remember her? And why, especially, couldn't she save that girl? The cool breeze was mocking her as her body trembles, not from the cold, and her voice wavering with each cry, and yet doing so did not give her satisfaction. At this point, what would? Not until she could see this Kaname Madoka person again. Homura continued to yell endlessly the name into the hollow sky, but there won't be a response for this grieving girl... or there won't be a response that she is willing to accept as sincere.
No one was going to help her in this empty outskirts, so she thought.
Some wings wrapped around Homura's slender form with its warm kindness, so warm that it burned her cold skin, the kind that overwhelmed her to the point she sunk her claws and dragged the angel down with her.
The troubled girl picked at the angel's wings that had come to collect her, to comfort her, that is now hollering for her to stop but she clings to the brilliant body against her dead form, trying to keep it there for as long as she can, for the eternity she had cursed from the beginning.
Spiralling, spiralling, Homura damned the Laws of Cycle and the God that has left her, ravishing the body of this blooming saint only for it to bloom red petals that poured onto Homura's fingertips, her face twist into that of pure delight.
The demon has chimed! The devil has come to disrupt! It trampled God to feast its heart! But why? Love, love, love! Love is so natural to the point of incredible, and her love is the most dangerous form of all.
Dazed and a loss for words of what she had witnessed moments ago, her body ached strangely. Homura softly turned her head with a groan before noticing the large table in front of her with a decorative cloth and an empty cup set just for her. Grunting of that of confusion, she straightened her back and turned her head calmly to figure out where she could be, rubbing her eyes to adjust her vision. It seems to be a bland room with picture frames around-- of what? Homura couldn't make out, though it could just be decorative-- and notice how the table is packed with dessert and plates of colourful mash and a faint smell of baked treats and sugary cream, causing Homura to silently gag at the dizziness of the sweet air surrounding her. Her ears perked up once she heard a noise, that of someone other than her is there, causing her to turn her gaze at the end of the table where her eyes meet a familiar person.
A fair girl with pinkish pigtails sipped from a mug at what presumes to be tea, gives off a smile as quaint and yet her eyes show heaviness just by glancing at Homura who looks to be out of it and left in confusion, only to give a small chuckle as she puts the mug down, as her small hands frame the cup, "How are you doing, Homura-chan?" she asks, sincerely, tilting her head as her red doe eyes focus on the pale figure.
Homura blinked. Once. Twice. Her body shot awake as she stared at who was talking to her, her hands rested on her knees trembling as she tries to keep her composure, yet her eyes widen in both fascination and disbelief, "M-Madoka..?" she squeaked, her ears suddenly burning at how embarrassing her voice came out.
"Well, that's one way to greet someone I guess," Another voice calls out, one of mockery but of good jest. Homura slowly sets her gaze to find the other voice, noticing the cerulean hair immediately as it belonged to Sayaka, holding a cheeky smile as she held her head in her palm, "but I didn't think the lone and cool Homura voice could do that!" she laughs to herself.
Homura stifles as she glares at the girl, but her eyes drift to the rest of the room. Now that her senses are better she is beginning to notice more, it's not only Sayaka and Madoka in the room, Mami and Kyouko sat by as well, though their faces do not express that as embracing their posture are lax as they join in on Sayaka's tease, mainly the red-hair as she grins at Sayaka's response. "It's been a while, hasn't it, Akemi-san?" Mami spoke up as she tilts her head calmly, glancing over at the two girls. Madoka also laughed a bit, gesturing her hand to calm the others playfully.
Sitting there and just listening to the girls laugh amongst themselves at Homura's suspense made her uncomfortable, she cleared her throat and quickly turned her face that of agitation, "Where am I? Why are we here? And why is everyone alive and happy?" she clenched her jaw as she glares at each girl relaxing by the table, not daring to believe anything good will come out of this.
Kyouko was the one that responded to Homura questions with an exaggerated yawn, sipping from her cup before setting it aside with a thunk on the table, "Ok, first off, you barely greeted us and now you want to dampen the atmosphere with your suspicious sounding questions," she grabs a fork and points it towards Homura, wagging it slightly as she sneers as if she knew this was bound to happen no less, "But cut back on your depressive comments, ok? We're having a tea party and it's great! Hell, Mami over here took the time to make these pastries, so I think you should learn to not be so uptight about these things and just eat," the fork spun between her fingers before she stabbed it into a nearby cheesecake, happily scooping it into her mouth as she hums.
Instead, the black-haired girl tensed up further from the response, her fight and/or flight reflex kicking in, wondering how Kyouko managed to survive the age of infancy if all she thinks about is food. Instead, she hesitated once she heard giggling from the end of the table, belonging to that of the cherry girl as she barely covers her smile with her hand. The very fact that Madoka was here, looking so lively and existing, was enough to make Homura heart jump for whatever reason.
"Sakura-san is right, this is a tea party after all and we've invited you here," she twiddled her fingers together nervously, which no matter how may time Homura saw in the past she believed Madoka's small gesture was the most innocent sort. Madoka faced her old friend with an anxious smile "It's just that, it would be nice if we got together the way we never did, without Kyubey ruining everything! I thought it would be a fun destresser for you, Homura, after everything you've been through, so I've created this place once you've despaired enough-"
The raven-haired girl jumped from her seat as she clutched on the table, purple eyes glaring at Madoka across the colourful desserts as her gut fills itself with bitterness, "So you came to collect me to join your Law and Cycle?! Is that what you call a destresser?! Madoka, even if I'm free from being a Magi Puella, it still doesn't stop that you've become a God! A God that left me alone to doubt if you existed, do you think I was happy with your wish?!" She cried though it wasn't enough to explain how much pain she had gone through only to be slapped in the face and served a cake only for a chance that Madoka will leave Homura alone again.
The girls watched in disbelief of the other's action, but Sayaka's face turns to that of annoyance, Kyouko's of anger, Mami's less than pleased with the outburst, and Madoka is frantic of the situation.
"Hey hey," Kyouko taps her finger against the table, catching the attention of the melodramatic monochromatic girl, "Why are you such a downer? You're lucky that Madoka saved you from becoming a witch in the end! But I guess it's not like you weren't a witch, to begin with. Though, more of a bit-" Sayaka tossed a cherry that was atop her cupcake towards Kyouko's direction, causing the other to switch attention to grab the cherry with her free hand, anger pouring to Kyouko's appearance as they turn to the blue-haired prick, "HEY WHAT'S YOUR DEAL?! Don't waste food, dammit!" she smacked the other's shoulder, in which Sayaka stuck out her tongue as a childish response.
Sayaka laughs at her own expense, watching Kyouko grumble as she pops the cherry into her mouth and grumbles, leaving Sayaka to turn her attention towards Homura who is still standing with the refusal to cooperate with them, causing Sayaka to sigh as she brushes her short hair with her hand, "Anyway, I think what stupid Sakura tried to say is that that's a really stupid accusation. It's not like your wish was any better; if anything it was selfish and caused Madoka to make the wish she made now, and look at her! She's happy with her desire, which I think is a lot better than what any of us had wished for." She notes, causing Homura to glare bitterly at the azure child.
"I don't want to hear that from someone who wished to fix some guy's hand in favour of her life." She spat, moving her arms off the table to stand up properly and her hands balled to her sides.
Sayaka pulled her hand back, biting her inner cheek before breathlessly sighing in defeat, "Touche, Miss Explosives."
Mami scoots her chair back to sit up slightly and glared at Homura for her less-than-kind remark, "Homura, I don't believe you have the right to critique anyone's reason for-" she spoke with a level of authority before being cut off by Madoka, whose hand raised to tell the other girls to stay back to allow her to speak instead. Mami nods as she goes back to being seated and eating her cake, but was displeased with both cake and the atmosphere.
Madoka nodded in thanks for the girl's cooperation and her hand moved towards Homura with a gesture to calm down, "Homura, can you please sit down and hear me out?" she asks, but Homura continues to stand with her hands to her side, still feeling like the whole situation is erring especially with how everyone is opposing her feelings. Madoka laughed awkwardly noticing that Homura isn't going to sit, so she instead folds her hands on her lap and tried to calmly explain anyway, "Um, you know the "Laws and Cycle" and how I'm that cycle, right? So now magical girls that fall into despair won't turn into witches because I come to collect them and they can be free of that certainty," she looks up, her smile showing how she is proud of what she's done and not one bit displeased by it.
Homura held her head as it throbbed trying to recall her memories, "R-right," she mumbles, though her heart seemed heavy seeing as Madoka is happier preferring this inhuman life than a normal one that Homura had spent ages fighting for, just quietly nodded as she looked down and sighed "... so that's it, you finally collected me and no matter what I do, you're going to leave me in this cycle while you disappear to save others, then." she spoke with compliance, though saddened with the possibility that that may be the case, and that there is no way out of this circumstance.
Madoka nodded slowly, before shaking her head, then ending it with a sparse shrug and a half-smile, "Well, not quite," she folded her hand as she laid them atop the table, "I'll be honest, Homura. You despair quite a lot. There's a bit of time where you just despair immediately, so often that it's just unusual to me. Other times, when you despair it's hard to get you since you outright refuse to leave your labyrinth and then you just..." she trails off as she leans her head back, her pigtails following her as it drips down, but her face shows of guilt and angst "So, in part, I did finally take you to be a part of the cycle, but it wasn't exactly... enough to me. I just feel like you would never be satisfied with any outcome, especially my decisions, so with my bare existence I took another piece of the cycle to build this little world, one that Kyubey won't bother us again, and we can just relax!" She sat back up and as she moves her hands about in quick happy motions as she smiles, "So while you were despairing I managed to get you here for some tea-- oh, wait, wasn't that way too abrupt and rude then?! I'm sorry! I should have let you known that this is what's going to happen instead of you second-guessing!" her face reddened as she noticed her ridiculous slip, though it wasn't something worth thinking over she was fretting quickly as she glanced away from Homura and apologize profusely.
Homura didn't exactly understand what Madoka tried to explain, but her mind felt easy just by hearing Madoka's words that she did such a crazy act for Homura's bit of rest. Raising her hand slightly, Homura tapped her cheek in apprehension as she still had many questions, "How did you do that, exactly?"
The pink Law and Cycle incarnate paused her panic before scratching the back of her head trying to wrap up what the question was, "Sorry, can you rephrase that?" she anxiously asks for clarification.
"How did you manage to take a part of the cycle-- again, may I add-- to make a mini-universe? And how certain are you that those Incubators won't find this place?" Homura questioned bitterly, looking back at the table full of sweets and the other ex-magi puellas around the table, "It just sounds too convenient to make any sense." she states her concern, finally, hoping to be enlightened.
Kyouko banged her hand on the counter, as she groans at how much Homura keeps asking and ruining the fun of the tea party "Oh come on! Why are you always such a sceptic?! It's Madoka we're talking about, the ex-magical girl turned into literal GOD, course she managed to do something as absurd as that!" She huffed then flinches as Mami reached a hand out to soothe Kyouko, resting her hand atop the hotheaded girl. Kyouko didn't look too pleased by Mami's insistent touch, but she didn't reject it either.
Madoka thoughtfully hummed as she tried to come up for an answer for such a thing, knowing why Homura would be concerned if there wasn't a concrete explanation, "I'm not too sure myself, honestly. My guess is this entropy thing Kyubey would always mention and how things need to be balanced? Well, I'm saving Magical Girls from despairing in turn for my existence hence becoming this... 'God'," she blushed saying so, not used to referring herself to such a regarded title, "But even if those girls don't turn into witches, they have enough energy released to continue the entropy nonsense, and the cycle repeats. So, I think that..." she laughed nervously.
Sayaka chimed in with a grin, "Can I explain the rest?!" almost excited to explain. Madoka nodded as she gestured to Sayaka as the speaker, Homura crossing her arm to listen. Sayaka dramatically rests her wrist atop her head with a theatrical voice, "Oh, our beloved psychopathic Homura, your crazy love for innocent Madoka and absolute heartwrenching despair that, most likely accumulated from every timeline you've been, had given enough energy for the universe to sustain itself, so much so, it was enough for Madoka to make her very own universe and invited our souls-- or whatever we are right now-- at this place," she smiled, tugging Kyouko towards her who was off-guard from Mami playfully scratching her head, realizing the topic of discussion and smirked her toothy grin.
"To clarify, your sad self made bank on the energy stuff for the universe, and since Kyubey doesn't know anything about Madoka and her freakish power, he'll look past this mini-universe since he's so fixated on human emotions to keep the entropy process going," Kyouko raised her hands to clap mockingly, leaving Homura to blush profusely caused Kyouko to laugh in amusement, "All in all, Homura, you're a powerhouse and Madoka made do with the leftover energy, so girls and I were just lounging here waiting for your sorry ass to join us!"
Sayaka held Kyouko closer as she also laughed to mock Homura, "So we took the liberty to spend some time building this place up before inviting you here! Honestly, how are we so benevolent towards you after all you've done for us, huh? You owe us something, big time, you psychotic transfer student!"
Kyouko snickered, "What the hell? You were the one moping and complaining about bringing Akemi-chan here, you keep saying how you refuse to coexist with her again-" Sayaka bonk Kyouko right on the head, causing the other to flail in response, "Ok, first off you PRICK-"
Madoka waved her hand as she awkwardly tries to laugh that two banter as she nods, "Well, yes! That's what happened! You gave so much energy that I had to ignore the cycle to build this place because honestly, even if I'm stuck for eternity to rescue people it doesn't stop me from missing the people I love, and I think it would be much nicer if things-" she turned to look at Homura with glee in her eyes which immediately faltered with what she saw, "H-Homura... are you ok?" her voice switch to worry instantly.
Without realizing it, Homura wiped her cheeks to notice the fresh tears streaming down her face. The tears she begged for a long time for her grievances exist for something more docile, immediately she tried to cover her face up and ignore the tears as the timing couldn't be any more awkward, "I don't know. I just... I thought I lost you all for good and gave up having this moment again." her voice was low, though it threatened to waver as she softly sniffled.
Sayaka paused and finally let go of Kyouko, who also took interest in the cold and lonesome transfer student who is oddly... human for the first time. Homura continued to furiously wipe her eyes with her forearm as she tried to contain her feelings, the feelings that weren't of sorrow waved with anger, but that of peace instead. It's been so long she felt this wash of calm, or if she had felt it ever, as she choked back her sobs trying to hide her smile. Madoka climbed out of her seat as she hopped over to Homura to pry the hands away from her sobbing face, Madoka's eyes beaming with worry as she stares with panic.
"Homura! Your hand!" Madoka cried as she held onto the other's hand and try to pick at the ribbon, Homura ears perking bright red after forgetting it was there. How convenient. Her two fingers were a pale purple compared to her eyes with how tightly she wrapped the ribbons, as she tried to mask her embarrassment with a blank expression.
"S-Sorry... I didn't feel it so I didn't notice..." Homura mumbled but was now wincing as Madoka touched her hand, unwrapping the ribbon. Homura tried to stretch out her fingers and shuddered by the pain, "Ow..?" confused on why she is suddenly registering the pain. Ah, that's right, soul gems aren't necessary anymore, so her body is readjusting to a normal amount of pain. Normal. She flinched again as Madoka finally got the ribbon to undo and she held onto that aching hand.
Sighing, Madoka held onto the red ribbons that were once hers and stared into Homura gaze to express her concern, "If you're going to wear my ribbon, please wear them properly!" she squeezed the other's hands tightly.
Homura blinked, then looked away with a slight nod, "O-ok." her heart skipped with just how close and warm Madoka is right in front of her.
Mami got up from her seat and around the table to stand by with the other girls, her face softened as she looked at Homura, something that was completely strange to the raven-haired girl as she hasn't seen her mentor look so kind after a long, long time. Mami rested a hand atop of Homura's shoulder, a slight flinch from the touch, as Mami slightly chuckles, "Show me your hand," she said, but it was of a motherly request, causing Madoka to loosely let go of Homura's hand and splay it towards Mami, in which the gold drill-locks senior hovered her hand over Homura's palm with a slight glow. Flexing her fingers, Homura felt her hand again as it went back to its usual pale shade.
Confused, Homura turned to the veteran, "But you don't have a soul gem-?"
Mami laughed as she placed her arms behind her back, "Yes, there is no need for soul gems anymore, Madoka made it quite clear that she took our souls as a part of the cycle but it doesn't stop us from having abilities of Magical Girls, after all," she smiled warmly that was foreign for the time-traveller, Homura taking a step back for safety precautions as Madoka holds onto Homura to keep her from going anywhere.
Kyouko cleared herself up as she got up, snatching a plate of macarons as she leans across the table holding it out towards the other's, "Well, if you're done crying come here and try these, they're pretty good," she shakes the plate to catch Homura's attention. Mami gives a glance at the redhead as Kyouko shrugs, unsure of what she's doing or what she should be doing in this situation. To her surprise, Homura took the offer and reached out to grab a pink macaron, raising it to compare the treat with Madoka's hair before biting it. With a smile creeping on her face, she ate the small pastry surprised at how well it tasted.
Madoka blushed with the comparison, but smiles seeing as Homura seems to be at a better mindset, "How are you now?" she asked, waiting for an honest response of her old friend.
"Hm," Homura responded, as she reached to Madoka's hand to grab the crimson ribbon as to tie up Madoka's hair, her smile finally genuine as she looked at the girl, "now I'm feeling much better."
Sayaka coughed as she also stood up, leaning over to grab a red macaron from the plate of Kyouko's outstretched hand, munching on it quickly and swallowing hard as she grinned, "Ok lovebirds, how about you two not stare intensely at each other and help eat the rest of the stuff with us?" she moves her arm to the plentiful of other sweets and drinks laid out still.
Madoka let go of Homura as she squeaked, but Homura wrapped her arms around the shorter girl as she pressed her head atop the other, "Why? We have all the time in the world now that that Incubator isn't going to annoy us," Homura hummed, Madoka nervously giggling as the taller refuse to let go of her, "Anyway, why all the desserts? If you guys planned this you'd remember I'm not one for sweets."
Mami clapped her hand as she recalled something, "Well, we weren't the ones who planned this tea party. If anything, we all just pitched in, Kyouko brought the ingredients, Sayaka chose the recipes, I baked and brewed, and Madoka tasted everything and set up the table," she glanced over to the powerful god who buried her face into Homura's arm.
"I-I'm a disaster in the kitchen," Madoka blushes as she admits. Homura couldn't help but continue to hold this innocent being as she nods.
"With that said, we worked together to make this party but it wasn't entirely our idea, someone helped coordinate it." Mami smiled as she glanced over to Sayaka.
Sayaka gestured her arms towards space at the table, "Yeah, it's this lil' guy that was way too anxious to meet you!" Homura eyes the empty spot as she waits for the reveal.
Kyouko scoffs as the mystery person kept hiding, turning to Mami for help, "Do something,"
Mami leans against the table to peer over, "Come on over Bebe, it's all right," she tries to softly coax whomever it is. Homura continues to stand idly as she becomes further lost at what's going on.
Her ears perked as she hears soft thuds and a squeaky yelp as a creature tries to climb up onto the table, further exasperate the doll-like creature with dual eyes squeaked out a gasp of air before a poof of smoke envelope them to be replaced with a young girl with long white hair anxiously tap her hands against the table, droopy red-yellow eyes looking up at Homura as she stammers her introduction, "Hello, I'm Nagisa," her voice soft as she bows her head, "Sorry I didn't say anything til now, but this was my idea, so I'm glad I can finally meet you!" she looked pleased as she manages a proper greeting. Sayaka patted the child's head as a congratulation. Mami chuckled pleased to see the girl finally make an appearance.
Homura rubbed her eyes that were puffy from her tears earlier, as she squints at the young girl, "Who the hell is that?" she mumbled.