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Chapter Text

John Constantine had been having a good day.

He had enjoyed some nice takeout from the Chinese place down the street, had some peace and quiet, and didn’t even have a demonic threat to risk his life to put down. He even got the chance to talk with Chas and Zed separately before they went on to do what they usually did with their lives. It was a scarily normal day for John. 

The exorcist could never have a normal day.

He was sitting on the couch, minding his own business and finishing up his dinner, when suddenly the show he was watching stopped. It wasn’t paused, and when John was reaching for the remote, he noticed a figure standing beside the couch that definitely wasn’t there before.

“Manny,” he said, startled. Seriously, he needed to put a bell on this guy. “What the bloody hell are you doing here? I was having a good day.”

The angel rolled his eyes slightly, tucking his wings away. “I have someone I need you to see.” John simply scoffed and leaned back in his seat, showing he had no intention of moving. Manny sighed. “Fine.”
Suddenly, the exorcist was standing in the humid air of Georgia, facing a group of kids. There were two boys and a girl fighting. “What the hell?” John asked, but was cut off before he could make more sarcastic remarks towards the angel.
“Shh, just watch, John,” Manny said gently, nodding to the group of kids.

The girl, with dark hair and brown eyes, was decking these two boys. Her fists were covered in blood -some of it her own, but mostly from the boys. The boys, however, didn’t seem to want to give up, and were still shouting insults at the girl kicking their ass. They called her a freak and a psycho, normal kid stuff (at least in John’s mind). When the girl punched one boy so hard he fell and didn’t get back up, the insults stopped and her voice filled the air.

“Don’t you ever, ever, touch me again! I will bash your friggin’ skull in!” she shouted, giving the standing boy a solid push. There was an anger in the girls’ voice that John knew too well from his own childhood. “ Scram! ”

John watched as one of the boys helped the other up and they ran off, leaving the girl alone and letting her continue her walk. Now that he could get a look at her, he saw that she was wearing a white long-sleeved shirt and a dark pair of jeans, even in the hot southern climate. Her face seemed a bit familiar, but John couldn’t place who she looked like.
“Manny, why did you just make me watch a bloody schoolyard fight?” The exorcist asked, raising his eyebrow slightly.

The angel didn’t respond, and they simply vaporized into nothing before reappearing in another location. It was an old, dark, rundown house. It looked like someone had tried to clean it, but there was still a mess of spilled beer and cigarettes on the floor from another person having no care in the world. It was sickly familiar to John. Then, the girl from before walked into the house, silently closing the door behind her and trying her best to be quiet as she made her way to the stairs.

She didn’t make it.

John barely had a chance to try and shout a warning, forgetting he was in astral projection, before the girl was thrown on the wall behind her. “You’re late. Where the fuck did you get blood from?? Have you been fighting again?”
“No sir! That’s ketchup, it’ll come out,” she lied, her eyes flashing with something too familiar to the master of the dark arts. “I promise!”
“Shut up!” the man yelled, backhanding the girl. The child didn’t even have a chance to fight back before the large, calloused hand was continuing its brutal punishment.
“Manny, why, on heaven and earth, are you showing me this?” John questioned through gritted teeth. The angel knew his past; why would he put him through this? 

The angel shifted. “She looks familiar,” he said softly to the man, “because she’s your daughter.”

John paused, not getting it at first. He didn’t exactly remember every one-night-stand off the top of his head. “Her mother’s name was Jaimee,” Manny hinted.

Suddenly, everything came together. 16 years ago, he met Jaimee while he was on a job in the area and she seemed like the best relief of stress at the time. She had dark, messy, wavy locks and a smile that helped him forget everything along with an amazing ability to make conversation. So, he took her to his hotel room and they kept the neighbors up, but she was gone before he woke up. Hell, he had almost forgotten about it until he saw the girl and Manny mentioned her name.

“What’s her name?” John managed through his shock.

“Lily.”

John watched as the girl was slapped around by her step-father, cursed and yelled at for something she had no control over, and his heart clenched. He usually didn’t feel like this, but this was his child. He never imagined himself having a kid; that was always Chas’ forte. John was the slutty best friend who always carried 8 condoms with him wherever he went. He took extra measures to make sure that this situation never happened.

Now, as he watched his own daughter be beat just like he was when he was a kid, he felt his stomach twist.

“She needs you, John,” Manny said softly. “I’m breaking a lot of rules to show you this.”
The exorcist ignored that last part. “Who’s the man? If I’m the father…”

“Lily’s mother was shot when she was 10. Her mother’s new boyfriend went crazy when this happened and took all his anger out on the girl. She was released into his custody when they found out that you were in a mental asylum,” the angel explained. “The abuse didn’t start until it was too late, but you can still stop it.”

It made John sick inside when he thought of the fact that he could've had custody of his daughter and spared her this nightmare. He could've saved her from the horrors that haunted him to this day.

Suddenly, they were back in the mill, John sitting on the couch and Manny standing beside him.

"Where is she?" The exorcist asked, standing up and grabbing the angel's collar. When he didn't respond immediately, John shook him a little. "Tell me, damn it!"

"Rural Georgia," Manny replied after a moment. "She's in rural Georgia. That's all I can tell you."

John let him go. "That's all I need."

With two leashes in one hand and her MP3 player in her pocket, Lily opened the crate to Apollo and Artemis, who were brother and sister Mastiff mutts. "Hey you two. Wanna go on a walk?" She asked gently, clipping their leashes on and kneeling down to pet them both. Artemis snorted at the girl and licked her hand as Apollo rolled over for belly rubs. Lily smiled at them and led them out of the crate, telling her boss that she was taking them on a walk.

She had found the animal shelter when she was avoiding going home about 2 years ago, and immediately went inside to check it out. It was family owned and very short of employees, so she took a job there part time. They gave her flexible hours and took her in as their own. The big boss, Jacob Ness, and his wife, Diana, would sometimes invite the girl into their home for dinner when they noticed her sunken-in eyes and slightly too slim form. The twins, Ellie and Eric, were a couple years younger than Lily. They admired the girl like an older sister, but she was definitely no good role model. Her knuckles were always torn up from fighting and she had a mouth like a sailor. But the family knew she needed someone to just fall back on, so they gave her the job.

Lily started down the street, putting one of her earbuds in and starting to play some music. The music started to play, interrupting the silent air around her. "Both shoes filled with lead, somehow rise off the bed. Head pounding, kill the lights. Scared to death I’ll never be alright." 

She kept an eye on Apollo and Artemis as they trotted in front of her, just enjoying the outdoors. The girl had grown close to all the animals of the shelter, but especially the twins. They were dropped off when they were only 2 months old, about when Lily arrived at the shelter, and they immediately latched onto her. She had been the first one to earn their trust and after that they never let go of her.

Once they arrived at the dog park, Lily let the dogs off their leash and sat down, pulling a cigarette out of her pocket as they ran off. She watched as they started to play once they had some breathing room, so she lit the cigarette, sure that they wouldn’t be going anywhere for a while. She usually did this for the dogs she took on walks. The girl knew that every dog needed social experience to make them more adoptable, so she often brought the puppies to the park so that they could be used to being around other humans and other dogs. It made them more approachable to potential dog owners.

Lily took a drawl of the cigarette and felt her muscles relax, pulling her jacket around her body a bit tighter. The teen was wearing a black hoodie, a pair of jeans, and some black combat boots: clothes she had owned for a while. Her step-father didn’t exactly take her shopping, and she didn’t make enough money to buy more clothes with her part-time job at the shelter.

Suddenly, someone was sitting on the bench beside her, his trenchcoat fanning out and overwhelming her with the smell of cigarettes and someone else’s man. When she looked over, she immediately noticed his hunger-pang frame and dirty blond hair that didn’t look brushed at all. Noticing that he made no move to take her cigarette from her, she simply kept smoking and ignored his presence.
“You’re rather young to be smoking a cig,” he said, a strong british accent lacing his voice. He definitely didn’t grow up in America.
She puffed out some smoke, seemingly unbothered by his presence. “You’re pretty brave to be sitting next to a teenager as smug lookin’ as you are. Move on, you ain’t takin’ my cigarette,” she scoffed, leaning back on the bench and resting her hand on her leg.

“Name’s John Constantine,” he said. “I’m not here to try and stop you from smoking. Hell, I was smoking at your age. No, I came because I’m someone you need to meet.”

Lily glanced at him and rolled her eyes. She had been hit on by several older men simply for her looks: brown, wavy hair, a scrappy look in her dark eyes, and a slim, fit body. Especially when she hung out alone in sketchy parts of parks, many men made their advances on her. She was lucky to get out of some of the situations she was put in. “Don’t flirt with me; I’m fifteen. You’re fuckin’ disgustin’.”

“What? No, I’m not flirting with you. Jesus, do I look like a perv?” he scoffed, flustered for a moment before getting himself under control. He didn’t really give that vibe off to Lily, more of a bisexual mess honestly, but she never knew. “No.”

She dropped her cigarette, no longer interested in the smoke, before turning to Constantine. “Why the hell are you here, Mr. Constantine?” she asked. John noticed how relaxed she was, how used she was to dealing with grown men just sitting down and talking to her. It made him wonder how many times she was flirted with by creeps looking to get their perv on with a little girl. It made him wonder how many times a perv didn’t make it out of that alive, and how many times they took advantage of her petiteness.

“Well, I’ve never been one for sugar coating things,” he began. He was avoiding the topic for as long as he could. “Besides, there’s no easy way to tell you what I’m about to say. In fact, it might be better that you don’t know-”

“I’m leavin’, ya freak.”

“I’m your father,” John blurted, following her with his eyes as she stood up to walk away.

Lily immediately froze, not expecting that to come out of the man’s mouth. She expected some poorly put together flirt, some compliment that he was hoping would make her melt. She wasn’t expecting John to suddenly tell her that she was his daughter, and that he was the one who left her mother and forced her to live with the psychopath that she called a step-father. Her mind was overwhelmed with a swarm of feelings: anger, resentment, relief, happiness, confusion. Every emotion she had ever felt was hitting her like a fucking train.

“What?” she breathed, looking back at him. 

He stood up and offered her a cigarette. “Take a moment, love.”

Lily grabbed the cig and lit it, bringing it to her lips and taking a breath. It didn’t help like it did last time. “You can’t be my father. My father doesn’t know I exist.”

“I had some help in finding you,” John replied, scanning her face for anything he could use. All he saw was the stress on her face starting to rise and her eyes starting to dart around in slight panic. This was the last reaction he wanted her to have, but he would play the cards he was given and try to calm her down. “Your mother’s name was Jaimee. She worked as a prostitute. She had dark, curly hair and bloody bright green eyes. She carried mace in her purse and never brought men back to her house, just in case. She wanted to be a doctor, but never got the chance to go to college, so she dropped out of highschool to sell her body so that her family could pay the bills. I may not look like much, love, but I’m more than you think.”

Lily looked up at the man and could see resemblance in his face. Dark circles around his eyes and big brown eyes, just like her; she didn’t know bags could be genetic. There was a dark look in his eyes that she saw every day when she looked in the mirror, but his was so much deeper. He had seen darkness, true darkness, and there was no recovering.

“How did you find me?” She asked, wanting to believe him but not wanting this to just to be a sick trick. When he didn’t answer, she stepped closer. “ How did you find me? ” 

“An angel,” John replied. He knew it was probably a bad idea, but he had always told people the truth with the full expectation of being called crazy. It never really bothered him until now.

The girl blinked. “Excuse me?” she asked.

“An angel,” he repeated. “His name is Manny. He brought me to you in astral projection. I saw what your step-father does to you. He hurts you for some shit you can’t control, dunnit he?”

Lily swallowed thickly. She didn’t usually talk about her step-father to anyone. She didn’t trust anyone with the information, and she was already a big loser at school, so there was no reason for her to share her home life with anyone. “The angel showed you this?” she asked softly. If it had been anyone else, she would’ve run away immediately, but John had given her real proof that he was her father and an angel had told him about her. He told her things about her mother most people wouldn’t know, and when he told her about her step-father, it only added to his case.

He had to be her father.

No one knew about her mother that well. She slept with thousands of guys throughout her career and she never talked to them for long; she had to really like them for that to happen. How would he know she wanted to be a doctor? How would he know she dropped out of highschool to help support her parents?
“Yes, he did,” John nodded. Lily took another breath of the cigarette and sighed softly.

“What do I have to lose?” she muttered. “Sure, say you're my father. What are we going to do about that? Chris fuckin’ owns me, and he’ll never give me up. I’m his punchin’ bag.”

The man in front of her grinned, giving her a mischievous little smile that she was so familiar with - only from experience. “We call the cops and show them the awful bruises all along your arms. They do a blood test on us and we have a little court case and boom, I’m your legal guardian.”

Lily looked down and took another drawl from the cig in her hands as she mulled over what he was saying. She could escape that bastard, all she had to do was call the police. They could put the bruises together with his temper. They could take him away in chains. They could give John custody. They could give the girl a better chance at life.
There were too many ‘could’s for her liking. “Stay here. I need to take Artemis and Apollo back to the shelter before closing time,” Lily said, dropping the cigarette and putting it out with her boot. “I’ll be back in half an hour.”

John nodded slightly and sat back down on the bench as the girl called the dogs over. She had two leashes in her back pocket, which she removed as the giants bounded over her and immediately sniffed her for different scents that she didn’t have before. With a quick, snappy command, both dogs sat down and looked up at her expectantly. The girl had complete control over both dogs, which simply went to show how little control she had in her life. Why would she bother to train two dogs that she only saw for a couple hours a day at work only for them not to be there to protect her when she needed it?

As the girl walked down the sidewalk, John turned his head and made eye contact with his friends in the taxi car only a couple hundred feet away. Chas tilted his head, as if to ask how it went, and Zed widened her eyes in a similar fashion. The exorcist sighed and waved them off, giving them all the answers they would need until Lily returned alone.

Chapter Text

John spent the next half hour silently worrying about what Lily was thinking. Did she want him to be her father? Probably not. He left her in the hands of an abusive prick because he decided he was going to enter himself into a mental hospital. Now, the exorcist could tell himself over and over again that it was just to get to the demon inside, but Lily would never understand that. She would always know that he just dumped her into someone else’s hands instead of dealing with her himself. If John was in her shoes, he would never forgive his father.

But, he couldn’t ever imagine forgiving his father, no matter what situation he put himself in.

Faintly, John heard the car door of the taxi open and close. He waited a moment, and soon his best friend was sitting beside him. Chas was always John’s one and only friend; someone who he didn’t have to confide in, but could if he needed to. Chas was the only person who hadn’t died from being John’s friend, even though that’s only from the 30 something souls the dabbler in the dark arts tied to his friend. He may never act like it, but John knew Chas felt like he owed it to all the people that died in that fire to help John save people, even if it meant ruining his marriage and the relationship he had with his own daughter. Of course, that was on the exorcist for that drunken spell, but the both of them tried not to think about it.

“How did she take it?” Chas asked, breaking the awkward silence.

John sighed and lit up another cigarette. He had already smoked a few of them just from the anxiety, but, luckily, Chas was used to the chain-smoking and didn’t say anything. “How do you think?”

The chauffeur sighed softly as well. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but he was hoping that maybe, just maybe, this was going to be a lot easier than it was. “You just have to give her time. She thought she wouldn’t ever meet you, I’m sure. Let her take it however she wants, and, for goodness sake, take it easy on her. Cut her slack.”

John scoffed when he heard this. He knew he could be a bit impatient at times, but this was his daughter. He knew he could change for her; at least be a better father than what she was used to. The exorcist would never put another child through what he went through, no matter how angry they made him. He puffed out some smoke after taking another drawl. “If she’s anything like me, she’s bloody tough enough to handle something like this being thrown at her.”

“You gotta be easy with her, John, or she’s never gonna trust you.”

“Oh, what do you know about-” the exorcist stopped and Chas raised an eyebrow. “Oh, right, Geraldine. Well, Gerdie’s not a bloody teenager yet.”

Chas chuckled and turned to look at the dog park. John was right, Geraldine wasn’t a teenager yet, but at least Chas had some experience with girls. He knew that Geraldine was moody and could be extremely hard to read, and he knew that she was always seeking his affection and approval. Girls were hard. When Geraldine was born, Chas was scared out of his mind. He had been hoping and praying that maybe the ultrasound was read wrong and the child was actually a boy, but she was indeed a girl. Chas had no idea how to raise a daughter. They were complicated and scary sometimes, but he wouldn’t trade his little girl for the world.

“You’re going to hate her at first,” Chas started. “Hate her and love her at the same time, because she’s going to get on every last nerve, but she’s your daughter, so you have to love her. Then she’s going to start respecting you because you’re not being a complete asshole to her, and she’ll start backing off. Not completely, she is a teenager, but she won’t be a complete asshole anymore.”

John turned to his friend, confused on where this knowledge was coming from. “Gerdie’s gonna be a teen in a couple years. I gotta be ready,” Chas explained, shrugging a bit. It felt like yesterday when Gerdie was just a toddler, looking up to her father like he was Superman. Chas knew it was his fault that she no longer admired him like that, but he still couldn’t get over how fast she was growing up. Him and Renee had talked about it several times; she couldn’t kick him out of Geraldine’s life for the girl’s sake. However, he was going to have to step it up if he wanted to keep it that way, so he started to research.

The exorcist chuckled softly. Researching what it was like to have a teenager was the most Chas thing he had ever heard. “You’re a good dad, Chas. You’ll figure it out,” he said, glancing over at his friend. 

“So will you, John,” Chas promised. The demonologist didn’t reply.

They sat there for another couple minutes in silence, one enjoying the fresh air and the other one barely containing his nerves, before Lily returned. She looked the same as before, just without the giant mutts at her sides. John wasn’t going to lie to himself: the dog’s made him anxious. They seemed to be completely obedient to her, and everything he heard about mastiffs said that they were extremely protective; he was lucky he got to talk to Lily without them immediately bounding over in attack mode.

John looked up when he heard her footsteps and Lily took a wary look at Chas. She was sizing him up, using his body language to tell his intentions. The girl noticed his furrowed brow almost immediately, like he was concerned, but the way he sat showed that John didn’t make him nervous. “Who the hell are you?” she asked.

Chas stood up, towering over the child but not scaring her in the least; if she was in fact scared, she didn’t show it at all. “My name’s Chas,” he said, holding out his hand. He was keeping his distance, something Lily noticed and immediately appreciated. The girl was used to people forcing themselves too close to her.

“Lily,” she replied, taking his hand to give it a shake and shooting a look at John. There was a small amount of trust she had in the man; she trusted that he wouldn’t let this ‘Chas’ character hurt her.

“There’s no need to worry about him. Chas is my oldest mate: a giant sweetheart,” John said, slapping Chas on the back a couple times as Lily released his hand. The man gave her a slight smile as if confirming the last part, but Lily was unmoved by it.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” she promised, putting her hands in her pockets to ground herself. She needed to say this with confidence or not say it at all. “Where would you take me if we did win the case? We both know where I would end up if we didn’t.”

John didn’t acknowledge that last part and let his hand fall from Chas’ back. “I’ve got a mill in Atlanta. Dashing little joint, although it’s not so little once you get inside.”

Lily glanced around before noticing someone staring at them from a taxi, so she locked eyes with them and raised her chin a little. It was a woman she hadn’t ever seen before, but when Chas followed her gaze, he immediately tried to stop any problems from starting. “That’s Zed. She’s a friend of our’s.”

Lily turned her gaze back to Constantine and Chandler. “Well, if I don’t go to the police, Chris beats me like a piece of meat for being out past 6. Might as well,” she said, reaching forward and taking John’s cigarette from his lips before putting it between her own and taking a breath. She was going to need something to calm her nerves. Besides, it wasn't like she had to hide anything from these people. Chas’ eyebrows raised. “What?” Lily asked, narrowing her eyes at the man.

Chas shook his head. “Nothing. Didn’t know it was genetic. We should get going. Parks aren’t a fun place to be after the sun goes down,” he said, glancing over at his friend before looking at Lily once more. He couldn’t make up his mind about the girl; it felt like he was looking back in time. Even though he never met a teenage John, he had heard stories and seen pictures; apparently, he wasn’t the greatest guy to be around, but he was charming and brave, so he had his fair share of friends. Lily radiated the darker sides of those traits. She had a smirk and a look in her eye that made Chas feel uneasy, and he knew that she was the type to have a knife hidden in her boot. The girl was always on the defense; she didn’t know anything else.

She scoffed. “Don’t I know,” she said, dropping the cigarette and putting it out with her boot. “So, I’m guessin’ we’re takin’ the taxi?”

Lily and Zed had a brief meeting before they got in the car to go to the police station: an exchange of ‘hello’s and introductions before shaking hands. Zed had a vision when she touched Lily, but just waved it off to be discussed later, despite the fact that the woman looked like she had just seen a ghost. The girl didn’t trust Zed after that, having seen the way she acted and the sketchy looks she kept shooting into the rearview mirror; it just made Lily uncomfortable. It felt like Zed knew something she shouldn’t, and that was always a scary thought when it came to a Constantine.

The drive to the station was rather quiet, not including the idle bickering between Chas and John over some music that was being played on a retro boombox instead of the radio installed in the car. It was almost a little amusing to Lily, but she didn’t say anything. It made changing the music easy, she guessed. Besides, who was she to talk about someone else's things. She lived in a two bedroom house that had beer stained carpets and more rats than people.

Zed didn’t know what to think of the girl. She didn’t have John’s dirty blond hair, but she had his big brown eyes and pale skin. She was slim, like her father, but it didn’t seem to affect how strong she made herself appear. Lily’s hair may have been brown and she may have had freckles dusted over her pale cheeks and nose, but Zed could’ve put two and two together if she had only seen the girl. Especially in the way she held herself, with a confidence most people who went through what she did don’t have. If Zed had to bet money, she would bet that Lily was probably sarcastic and witty too.

When they arrived at the police station, Lily had only a moment of vulnerability as John and Zed got out of the car. Chas wouldn’t have seen it if he wasn’t looking right at her in the mirror. Her jaw clenched and immediately she scratched her palm, staring at the police station like going inside was going to seal her fate in the worst way possible. “Hey,” Chas said. “Even if John doesn’t get custody of you, I won’t let your step-dad hurt you. You’re gonna be okay.” Lily glanced over at him, making eye contact through the mirror. She didn’t say anything, but her eyes told Chas all he needed to know. The girl was terrified of what could possibly happen, but she wasn't going to back down now, not when she was so close. Chas gave her a closed mouthed smile. “Come on.”

The girl got out of the car with him and dropped the pack of cigarettes she had in her pocket in the seat, along with the lighter, just in case they decided to take her jacket. She wanted to win this case, not be in one of her own. Lily hadn’t ever been arrested, but she had friends that had been. They don’t care what age you are; if you break even the smallest law, everything else goes out the window, especially if you come from a poorer neighborhood where your future is already sealed in poverty. At least, it is to some people.

When they got to the front of the police station, she turned to her father and his friends. “You guys should stay out here. I don’t want them to think that you are making me do it or anything like that,” she said, putting her hands in the conjoined pocket of her hoodie.

Chas went to argue, but John held up his hand, locking eyes with his daughter and having a silent conversation with her. She was tough, and she had no problem walking this road alone. If she was anything like John, she would actually prefer to do this by herself. John knew how it felt; it was embarrassing to admit that someone had that kind of power over you. He didn’t just tell anyone that his dad beat the hell out of him and berated him. No, that was something that was reserved for only people he knew he would be able trust. The girl wanted him to know that she was going to do this alone, no matter what they thought was best. “Alright,” he said. Lily was strong, much stronger than John was when he was her age. He never would’ve had the guts to go to the police when he was living under his father’s roof; he’d rather endure the daily beatings than to risk that.

“John-”

“She can do this on her own,” the exorcist promised, glancing at Chas to silence him.

Lily nodded to him and opened the door into the police station. Her stomach was churning and she thought she would pass out at any time, but she just focused on putting one foot in front of the other and keeping her head up. There were thousands of thoughts rushing through her head, jumbling her mind and causing a lump in her throat. Doubt and fear tried to take over, but now it was about pride. She couldn’t walk out to her newfound father and tell him that she was too chicken, not now.

“How can I help you little lady?” the officer at the desk asked, looking up at her. He had startling blue eyes.

Lily did her best to calm the whirlwind of her mind. “I’d like to report child abuse,” she said softly.

The officer set his pen on the table, giving her his full attention. “On who?”

She cracked her knuckles in her pocket as before answering. “Me.”