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You had no issue with keeping your and Anakin’s relationship a secret. You weren’t going to stand in the way of his Jedi career, and honestly sneaking around had a bit of a thrill to it. It was only moments like this when you hated not being about to claim Anakin as yours in front of the entire world.
You were taking a break from your tasks of the day and sat on a bench in the garden, eating your lunch as you watched Anakin and Obi-Wan train before you. It was hot out, so the boys had taken their shirts off long ago-- not that you were complaining.
You tried to observe Anakin as innocently as possible-- the way his muscles moved as he swung his lightsaber, how his hair stuck to his forehead, and beads of sweat dripped down his chest. He was literally glowing in the sunlight. Your heart swelled at the sight of him.
This beautiful man… and he was all yours.
It was then that you heard the giggling. You turned your head to see through the bushes. Senator Padme Amidala was leading a group of three of her friends-- handmaidens, from back when she was Queen-- through the gardens. They had stopped just outside the clearing you were in and were watching, pointing, and giggling at the two boys training. They hadn’t seemed to notice you yet.
Padme walked casually into the clearing, and your heart sunk as the three girls followed behind. They were all beautiful. Not just Padme, with her chocolate brown eyes, endless curls, and soft face. But the girls behind her were all tall, slim, and jaw-droppingly lovely. All four of them seemed to radiate like angels under the afternoon sun.
“Good evening, General Skywalker. Master Kenobi,” Padme greeted with a sweet smile. You knew Padme was an old flame of Anakin’s, but it never really bothered you. He always assured you it was just a little childhood crush, nothing more, and you trusted him. But something about her was making your blood boil now.
“Senator,” Anakin bowed his head in greeting, deactivating his saber. He bent to retrieve his shirt from the ground and wiped the sweat away from his face, giving the girls a full show of his glistening muscles in the process. “What brings you out here?”
“My friends from Naboo are visiting and I thought I’d show them around the gardens. Then I saw you two training and thought I might introduce them to two of the finest Jedi in the galaxy.”
The girls’ laughter tinkled like bells in the air, and Padme kept that same sugary-grin plastered on her face.
Padme is a friend, you had to remind yourself. She means no harm.
She stepped aside and gestured to the girls, introducing them as Samé, Moté, and Rowé. They each bowed in turn, long curtains of hair almost brushing the ground, and returning to a standing position with equally gorgeous, shy smiles.
Anakin crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow playfully. “I don’t know if we’re the two ‘finest’ Jedi’s in the galaxy, but your input is appreciated. It’s a pleasure to meet you three.”
This made the girls erupt in another fit of giggles. You wanted to gouge your eyes out.
“Well,” he looked from you to Obi-Wan, not really knowing what to do next. Yet, always the charmer, he offered, “Obi-Wan and I are still in the midst of training, if you would like to stay for a bit. You can sit on the bench with Y/n over there. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sharing.”
You wanted to crawl into a hole when he pointed you out. All eyes were on you, and you forced your scowl into a pained smile.
“Sure,” you forced a kind tone, scooching over to give them all a place to sit. They all glided over to you, their dresses floating behind them in the breeze.
As soon as Padme sat next to you, you were enveloped in the scent of daisies and vanilla. You wanted to cry. Why did they all get to be so beautiful and smell good?
“Hello Y/n,” Padme greeted with that same sweet smile. Her eyes looked golden in the sunlight. “Are you eating lunch?”
Suddenly, being surrounded by girls who were far taller and toned than you were made your stomach stop grumbling. You put the sandwich that you had been gripping too hard back into your bag, and kicked it under the bench.
“I was just finishing,” you told her.
She nodded, kind face still trained on you as the other girls’ attention was solely focused on the two dueling men before you.
“I’m sorry about barging in… I didn’t mean to intrude. My friends have never met a Jedi before, and when I told them about Anakin and Obi-Wan they were so excited to meet them.”
“It’s perfectly fine,” you folded your hands in your lap, nails digging into the skin of your palms. “You weren’t interrupting anything. And I’m sure Anakin and Obi-Wan would love to show off a little bit.”
“Of course they would. They won’t admit it, but they both have a bit of an ego... as I’m sure you already know,” Padme laughed lightly, her smile blinding you. Then she turned her attention to the Jedi.
The five of you watched them train for a while. Samé, Moté, and Rowé oohed and ahhed at different times, gasping when the fighting got intense, and crossing and uncrossing their legs. You managed to quell the anger burning in your chest during this time, reminding yourself of how childish you were being. So what a couple of beautiful women were practically drooling over your boyfriend? It’s not like Anakin was even acknowledging them.
You couldn’t help but listen in on their conversations though. It started with a “He’s very cute, don’t you think?” and continued on to “Look at his muscles,” “Look how fit,” “That is one gorgeous man Padme, how have you never thought about courting him?”
“Ladies,” Padme gently quieted their giggling. “Jedi cannot form attachments. You can observe all you want, but acting on any attraction would be disrespectful.”
You could just about kiss Padme.
But the comments didn’t stop. They kept talking about him-- his eyes, his hair, his mouth. His power, physique, strength, everything. It went on and on.
“What about Obi-Wan?” you spoke up. The girls quieted, and surveyed, and the middle girl spoke.
“He’s also very nice,” she admitted. “I’d take either of them, honestly, but my first choice would have to be the Skywalker guy.”
Your blood started to spike again. They’re not deli meats, you wanted to snap. You can’t own them.
Your jealousy was hypocritical. You knew this. That’s why you stayed rooted to the spot, not a peep coming out of your mouth.
It was only when the girls began shouting requests-- “Anakin, twirl your lightsaber behind your back again! Anakin do a backflip! Anakin, float me that flower with the force!”-- that you had had enough.
He had obliged to their requests. Of course he did. He was a gentleman, after all, and ignoring them would have been rude. But watching that rose-- your favorite flower-- fly through the air and gently tuck into Rowé’s silky smooth hair had you shooting to your feet, grabbing your bag from under the bench, and muttering an excuse to leave to Padme. You were out of the gardens before anyone could question you.
You stormed into your apartment, clenching and unclenching your fists as you paced.
It didn’t mean anything, it didn’t mean anything, it didn’t mean anything, you chanted in your head.
You stopped your pacing when you caught your reflection in the mirror. You stared at yourself, unable to stop comparing yourself to the girls in the garden.
It’s not that you weren’t pretty. You thought you were… at least before today. But you had never been the most confident in your looks to begin with, and seeing those girls interact with Anakin today felt like a punch in the gut.
He could do so much better.
You weren’t as thin as them, you didn’t wear flowy dresses, or float on elegant footsteps, or have miles and miles of silky smooth hair. You suddenly felt too big, too ugly, too disgusting.
All the confidence you had worked up in order to be with Anakin… gone.
Suddenly, the door to your apartment opened. You quickly wiped away the tear that had escaped from your eye and turned away from the mirror, heading to the bookshelf to look busy.
“Y/n?” Anakin asked, peering around the corner for you. You kept your back turned, trying to stop the sudden onslaught of tears as you pretended to organize the bookshelf. “You’re upset. Why are you crying?”
“I’m not--” oh, what was the use? Of course he could tell you were crying. It was that damn force perception of his that made it virtually impossible for you to hide any kind of emotion from him. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing,” he pressed, walking up behind you. Carefully, he put a hand on your shoulder. “You can talk to me.”
“It’s stupid.”
“If it’s hurting you, it’s not stupid.”
“I’m being immature. I just need to get over it.”
Anakin was quiet for a moment. “Is this about Padme’s friends?”
You squeezed your eyes closed, cheeks burning in embarrassment. Anakin spun you around to face him, but you brought your hands up to cover your face.
“I don’t know why you even like me,” you whispered thickly, tears still choking you up. “I’m disgusting compared to them.”
The words burned your tongue as they left your mouth. You had never been so open about your insecurities with Anakin, not like this at least. You had always put on a brave face before him, tried to exude confidence. He said he liked that about you. But now… he was really seeing you at your worst. And you were fully prepared for his feelings to change due to it.
“Y/n,” Anakin said. His voice was clipped, angry. “Y/n, look at me.”
He took your chin in his hand and forced your face up. You dropped your hands from your face, but kept your eyes cast downward shamefully. You could not bear to look him in his beautiful, angry face or you were pretty sure you would lose it altogether.
Instead of snapping at you, which you were preparing for, you felt the ghost of Anakin’s lips trace the skin of your jaw. He pressed a kiss beneath your ear, then the side of your neck, then the junction between your neck and shoulder. He made his way back up, leaving gentle, scalding kisses all over your face and neck. He kissed away a tear that had escaped, swiping another dry with his thumb. He kissed you until you felt okay enough to look him in the eyes.
“There’s my beautiful girl,” he grinned. Perfect. Gorgeous. Totally out of your league.
He held your face between both of his hands so you could not escape the intensity of his gaze. His eyes bore into you like lasers, stripping you completely bare. With your incredibly low self-esteem, he very well might as well have.
“Stop,” you muttered. You didn’t want to hear him try to build your confidence back up. There was no going back after the images of those beautiful girls plagued your mind from today.
Anakin pursed his lips and sighed. “Baby,” he smoothed his hand over your hair soothingly, eyes following his movements. “You don’t see what I see.”
“I don’t need to,” you argued. “Not when there’s people like them walking around.”
“But they’re not you,” Anakin’s voice was fierce. “There are so many beautiful people walking around in this galaxy, billions probably, and there’s nothing you can do to change that. But I am attracted to you, Y/n. I love you. And no one else.”
“Why, though?” you couldn’t help but ask. The memory of the flower tucking itself into Rowé’s hair came flashing back into your mind. Her glittering smile. The fluttering eyelashes. The rosy blush painting her cheeks.
Anakin released your face and grabbed your hand instead. “Come here,” he ordered, leading you to the mirror you had been looking at. He positioned you in front of him and stood behind you, arms wrapped around you and chin resting on your shoulder. A king draped over a peasant.
“Let me tell you what I see,” his deep voice murmured in your ear. He started with your arms, running his hands lightly from your shoulders, dipping into the curves of your elbows, tracing a line down your forearm, and entwining his fingers with yours. “These are beautiful,” his eyes were focused on your reflection.
He brought his hands back up, then began trailing them down your sides, holding your waist between his large hands and pressing his palms flat against your stomach. “This is beautiful.”
His hands made their way down to your hips, where you had to stop yourself from squirming. You were ticklish there. His hands fit perfectly over your curves, and he breathed, “This is beautiful.”
He got on his knees suddenly, shifting so that he was in front of you. Your face was on fire as his hands continued their journey down, over the tops of your thighs, to your knees, fitting over your calves and holding your ankles. “These are beautiful,” he looked up at you.
He got up, and caught your chin in his hand again. “And this,” he whispered, breath fanning over your lips. He raked his eyes up and down your face, shamelessly admiring it. “This is the most beautiful of all.”
He captured your lips in his after saying this, feeling the heat pool in your cheeks with his hands. The kiss was soft, and short, and sweet. But it turned you into a pool of jelly under his ministrations, your knees going weak and eyes brimming with tears for a different reason than earlier.
“There is no need to be self-conscious,” he spoke when he broke away. “There’s no need to compare yourself to other girls. You are mine, and I am yours, and nothing is ever going to change that.”
No words would ever be good enough to show your gratitude toward Anakin. Your solution-- press your lips to his again, and show him how good he made you feel.