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Chapter Text

"I am sorry, but it will affect his recent memories."

Jung Rosa held Gyeo-ul's hand in fear at that while the said girl blinked in shock at the doctor.

"Professor Kang, can I talk to you about it further?" Song-hwa asked the doctor, gulping down all her doubts and shock as Professor Kang nodded at her before both of them walked to another room to discuss the case further.

Jung Rosa sat on one of the chairs in the waiting room as tears streamed down her face, "My poor son, my poor poor son." Her voice came out choked, as concern and sadness were clear on her face.

Gyeo-ul sat down beside the older woman not sure what to say as she felt this wave of emotions herself. The memory of this morning when Jeong-won was rushed into the ER with a major head injury, the blood on his clothes, the CPR conducted on him. Gyeo-ul couldn't help but cry herself too.

This was the last time I saw you before everything fell apart.

"Gyeo-ul-ah?" Jeong-won turned around, smiling widely as he served some breakfast to Gyeo-ul. 

"Jeong-won-ah, I am really in a hurry. I could've had breakfast at the hospital." Gyeo-ul said, trying to stuff her mouth with as many food items as possible.

"At the hospital? What will you have? Cup noodles? Not under my watch." He said while leaning against the counter, "If you are going to run around the whole hospital at least eat a healthy breakfast."

Gyeo-ul gave him an innocent look, "Yes, father Ahn." She said with her mouth full, making him chuckle in return.

"Also I don't think you will be able to go to the hospital today, because a car just fell outside from the sky." He said in a casual manner and Gyeo-ul frowned at him.

"What?" She asked and when he pointed towards the window behind her she turned around to see another car falling from the sky. Her eyes widened, "it's all falling apart, Oppa something's happening to your memory." She said shocked before looking back at him. But he was on the floor with his head in his hands and his face was screwed up.

"Jeong-won-ah!" She rushed to his side, "Are you having those headaches again?”

“No...this is not like that.” he said before groaning in pain, “It’s as if something hit me hard in the head.” he tried to look up at her but she was not there anymore.

He frowned. 

He looked around but she was nowhere to be found, instead, he saw their shared apartment getting destroyed all together; the ceiling fell around him as the floor shook and dust flew in the air.

His eyes widened in realization as he searched for Gyeo-ul around frantically, “Gyeo-ul-ah!” 

“Jeong-won-ah!” 

He turned around and suddenly he was in the hospital garden sitting on a bench beside her. She looked up at him and smiled shyly, “Professor, why are you staring at me like that here in the open, other people will notice.”

“Gyeo-ul-ah…” he drew before frowning at the surroundings, “What’s happening?” 

“You know what’s happening, Professor, you know very well.” she stated it like a fact, “You thought about it when you met with that accident, even Professor Chae told you about it in detail once.” she shrugged.

“What?” he was baffled now. 

And as if on cue he heard an echoed voice of Song-hwa telling him about amnesia, prompting him to look up at the sky in search of her voice.

But then a patient in a hospital gown, who was passing by, suddenly disappeared. 

Jeong-won’s eyes widened. Then as if on cue, one by one every person present in the garden started disappearing. 

“Professor, you are losing your memory.” Again Gyeo-ul stated it like a fact. And when Jeong-won looked at her she disappeared too.

“Gyeo-ul-ah!”

Now, he stood in the pediatrics ward with Gyeo-ul beside him. 

“Doctor, I don’t want to get an injection today.” he heard a child plead.

He looked down at the hospital bed only to find a little girl, in a hospital gown, pouting up at him, and weirdly enough he recognized her. 

“Aw, don’t worry, today I will not give you any injections.” he said while smiling at the child before he leaned down to pull her cheeks lightly, as the child jumped in excitement. When he stood back up he whispered in Gyeo-ul's ear, “Yesterday was her last round of injections.” 

Gyeo-ul smiled softly at that. 

“Professor, I have a question.” she said. 

Jeong-won furrowed his eyebrows at that, Gyeo-ul was a brilliant resident, she hardly had any doubts or questions. 

“Go ahead.”

“Will you at least remember that your true calling was to save lives?”

He froze. 

“What?” he asked just to be sure he heard the question right as he stared at her face. But then the little girl on the hospital bed started crying. 

“Oh! What happened?” he tried to baby talk to the girl as he stooped down to the level of the bed. 

“Doctor, you will leave us.” the girl continued to cry. Jeong-won then looked around as the same thing happened in the ward which happened in the garden. Slowly, everyone in the room disappeared. He quickly came to his senses before standing up straight and looked at Gyeo-ul.

“We have to run!” he shouted before holding her hand and running out from the crumbling ward, “I can’t let you disappear too!”

Chapter Text

Jeong-won heard the knock as he wore his overcoat.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me, Gyeo-ul.”

He blinked several times as he hesitated for a few seconds before saying, “Come in.”

But, wait. 

He froze. 

No...not this memory too.

He saw Gyeo-ul enter his office as his eyes widened in realization. He quickly checked his phone to see the date. 

25th, Dec, 2019

He saw how she hesitantly stood in front of him exactly like that fateful Christmas night and he found himself leaning against his desk and asking softly, “What is it?”

He knew what it was about. He knew exactly. And he didn’t want this memory to go too.

“Professor Ahn...I…” he could hear her voice waver, and all the regret for waiting, all the anticipation and all the love he has for her came out all at once from inside him exactly like it did that night, “Professor Ahn...I...I like you.” her voice came out broken this time as he saw tears in her eyes. 

Not this memory, please.

When Gyeo-ul was about to speak again, he stood up straight, “Gyeo-ul, stop.” he said as he felt his throat go raw and he closed his eyes to stop his tears from falling. 

She looked at him in surprise.

“I don’t want this memory of you to go too, Gyeo-ul-ah,” she could hear the desperation in his voice. 

“You will have to hide me somewhere else then, professor.” she stated, her hesitant side was gone now, still his voice was soft and soothing to his breaking heart, “Hide me somewhere deep in your memory.” 

He stepped forward and hugged her tightly as if she would disappear, which he knew she would. Then his office around him started to destroy itself, the walls breaking down slowly around them. 

And just like that, he ran with her hand in hand outside his office as the building they were in was falling apart as if an earthquake had shaken it. They ran back and forth in the corridor before the ceiling fell in front of them.

This precious memory of us is gone too.

This time he was in the hospital garden again, but now he was praising her for her first solo surgery. And god, was he smitten on her bright smile that day. He looked away for just a second and when he looked back at her, she was gone.

“Jang Gyeo-ul?”

This time he stood outside the ER, curious as to why Gyeo-ul was already standing there alone. He asked her if she was going out with Min-ha to which she replied in negative. He is about to ask her more when he realizes that no one is standing beside him anymore.

This time he is in the ER where he finds Gyeo-ul bluntly telling a patient’s guardian how because of her mistake the patient’s life is in danger. He is about to pull her aside to reprimand her for her mistake, but somehow she vanishes into thin air in front of him.

And finally, here he is now when he met her for the first time after joining this hospital. 

She stood there as the crumbs from the bread she was eating stuck around her mouth and the other professor introduced him to her. 

Jeong-won proceeded to shake her hand, but instead of introducing himself he said, “This is it, this memory will be gone too.”

She shook his hand back before saying, “I already told you to hide me somewhere deep in your memory.”

“How?” he asked, even after knowing that this Gyeo-ul is a part of his subconscious, and she knows only as much as he does. 

Then the other GS professors around them started disappearing one by one, and this time too the GS office started destroying itself. 

He pulled his hand back and stepped forward covering the distance between him and Gyeo-ul before cupping her face with both of his hands. She looked up at him sadly, before he kissed her with a passion. The floor shook and he wrapped her in his arms. They didn’t care now even when the tube lights fell from the ceiling and the computers started sparkling. The walls of the room cracked and the ceiling was on the verge of falling.

“I love you, so much, remember that, always. Even if I don’t recognize you after I wake up.” Jeong-won said after pulling back from the kiss, his arms still around her. He didn't realize that tears were streaming down his face untill Gyeo-ul wiped them with her thumb.

“I love you so much too, Jeong-won.” she said before clearing her throat and gulping down her emotions. She again brought her face close to his and whispered near his lips, “Meet me...here when you wake up.” When she pulled back, he stared in her eyes, trying to remember its color before looking at her whole face hoping that if her face is the last thing he sees before waking up, then maybe, just maybe, he will remember her.

And with that, the whole GS office crumbled around them as the floor beneath them cracked. The crack spread between them making the floor split in two and taking Gyeo-ul away from him.

Chapter Text

Blur. That was what Jeong-won would describe the moment when he woke up after his surgery if he was coherent enough, but surgeries take a lot out of you, huh?

“Jeong-won?” he heard a voice, a familiar voice to be precise. His vision cleared just a little and he recognized the person standing above him as Jun-wan. He thought that Jun-wan was shifting shapes or something as he tried to remain conscious.

He tried to call his friend but his throat felt raw, so he gulped instead. He felt something on his face then and he weakly reached his hand up to whatever it was.

“Hey, don’t touch it.” Jun-wan said using his rare soft caring voice before shooing Jeong-won’s hand away from his oxygen mask. Then Jeong-won looked at him with bleary eyes as his breath bubbled into a fog inside the mask before he fell into oblivion again.

Jun-wan sighed as he eyed his friend, who was laid on the hospital bed, worriedly, then he patted him lightly on his shoulder deciding to call his doctor as he was finally awake after a long week of agony.

“Song-hwa.” she looked at Jeong-won, raising her eyebrows in question, “How...is that woman from yesterday?

Song-hwa sighed, before giving him a sad smile, “She is trying her best.” she said while nodding slowly at her friend, who was now sat up on the hospital bed. His head bearing the bandage due to his head injury.

Jeong-won looked away from her and instead looked for something else for his interest in this VIP ward.  

“You are sad because she was hurt, right?” Song-hwa passed him a knowing smile.

He chuckled at her; he would never not be surprised at how easily she saw through him, “Well, she was clearly hurt when I couldn’t recognize her yesterday.” he said as his voice dissolved into guilt, “Also, last night my mother came here alone and showed me this album on her phone which had pictures of me and that woman together. And she was ranting about us which truly gave me a headache. I think eomma is sadder that I lost memories of that woman more than the woman herself.”

Song-hwa smiled at that, “Well, you are the only child who decided to live a normal life rather than becoming a priest.”

At that Jeong-won’s expressions changed.

“Song-hwa...why did I give up on priesthood though?” he had this question in his mind from the moment he came to know that he decided to live a normal life, “I mean, the last thing I remember is my father’s funeral and now it is the year 2020, and somehow all my friends have joined this hospital and my eomma tells me that I have a girlfriend. It is a lot to take in. But I also was leaving for Italy last year. Who stopped me, then? Did my brother tell me to wait for one more year? Did eomma told me to not go? What…” he shook his head cutting off the sentence in the middle, already frustrated.

“Nobody told you to do anything, Jeong-won.” Song-hwa said in her reassuring voice as she leaned back in her chair kept beside Jeong-won’s bed, “You took a decision yourself. You found your true calling; to save lives.” she said it in a manner which just said that she was proud of him.

“What?” he asked, baffled. Of course, he loved being a doctor and more than that he loved saving those children’s lives. But he never thought of it as his true calling. Maybe he will have to wait for his memories to come back. Still, somewhere deep within his heart, he felt that it was a reasonable decision.

“You heard it right.” she smiled then and Jeong-won knew that he could trust her, “But there was one more reason for which you decided to stay.”

Jeong-won was taken aback at this and he blinked several times, already guessing what his friend was trying to imply. 

His damned lost memories. If only they would come back quickly.

He nodded at her then. “By the way, when can I really be in the condition to leave this room for a walk?” 

“By tomorrow,” she shrugged, “Are you feeling claustrophobic?”

“No, I just need to make a quick trip to the GS office.” he stared into space then, "I just have this gut feeling, that if I go there I will remember something."

The next day after finishing meeting his friends and convincing his mother to go back home for the night, Jeong-won with the help of Song-hwa made his way to the GS office. And to his surprise the woman from the day he woke up was there too.

She stood up in surprise immediately leaving her files on the table.

“Professor Chae,” she paused for a moment, hesitating, before saying, “Jeong-won.”

“Hello Gyeo-ul.” Song-hwa greeted her with a smile as Jeong-won stood speechless. Gyeo-ul looked back at him with what he could tell was a sad expression and he could almost see some tear tracks on her cheeks too.

Song-hwa sensed the tension in the room, she knew these two needed to talk.

“Jeong-won, I will be in my office.” she said facing him.

“What?” he said completely baffled.

Song-hwa smiled softly before giving him a knowing look. A look which said that he needed to step up now, before reassuring him like an elder sister. Jeong-won watched her leave before turning his attention back to Gyeo-ul.

“Uh are you okay...Jeong-won?” Gyeo-ul asked, as hesitant as ever and it made Jeong-won feel awkward but bad at the same time.

“Yes...I just wanted to see the GS office, that’s all.” he replied with equal reluctance to which Gyeo-ul nodded.

There was something then, a feeling he couldn’t quite describe. Here he was in a hospital gown with a bandage on his head and he was looking at this woman in front of him who is supposed to be his...girlfriend. And when he looks at her tear stained face he thinks, if his past self, the self before the accident ever made her smile after she cried or if he ever wiped her tears off her face. He thinks what it would be like to see her smile after she has just finished crying. 

“Do you mind if I sit?” he had to ask, wanting to be sure if she really wanted him to be there.

“No” she said before nodding frantically as Jeong-won took a seat directly in front of her at the conference table. Then she proceeded to sit down too.

“I am sorry again for whatever happened the day before yesterday though.” he said thinking about what happened that day. And he couldn’t ignore the pang of guilt in his heart then. He remembered how this woman, Gyeo-ul, was so taken aback when he couldn’t recognize her after waking up and she had just ran out of the room while probably crying.

“No no, it is not your fault anyways.” she reassured him with a small smile and he had a gut feeling that not many people got to see that smile.

“I uh...I came here because I thought this would help me with my memories.” he tried just to keep the conversation going, he needed that to happen now, more than ever but Gyeo-ul looked away instead as if in thought. He had to say something, “But now that I think about it...can I…” he scratched his eyebrow, “...if you don’t mind can you help me with my memories too?” 

She looked at him in surprise now.

“I mean I don’t know, but like my mother already told me about you...about us. And I want to remember.” he said while looking at her with the most sincere expression.

Gyeo-ul stared at him for a few seconds longer, as if looking through his soul. And god, he would be lying if he didn’t feel something deep within his heart.

“I don’t even know if you would love me that way again, Jeong-won.” maybe it was not the words but the feelings behind them that made his heart crack a little, “I mean after something like this when the memories are lost, it is difficult to evoke the same feelings again.” she looked down then and Jeong-won could make out that she was about to cry. 

He sat back in his chair and took a deep breath. Screw his stress induced headache because he was feeling the throbbing of one rightnow, that too upon his injury. The silence between them stretched on from seconds to minutes.

“I want to still try.” he spoke.

Gyeo-ul looked up at him and he took in her innocent expression and her big eyes full of emotions. He saw how her face flushed as tears filled her eyes.

Silence.

He looked at her as his heart picked up its pace.

She nodded slightly then.

“Okay.” came her small broken voice followed by the slightest of smiles.

He warmly smiled back at her, “Okay.”