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Lena was on the verge of sleep when she heard the knocking. It was 3 in the morning. The rain was loudly pounding against the windows. Her head hurt, partially from the five glasses of scotch she drank earlier today and partially from all the crying that started in the shower and continued ever since.
Everything hurt. Her head, her bloodshot eyes, her heart. She was exhausted. The fact that she sneakily avoided being arrested today didn't make her feel proud or powerful or happy. She was just hurt. Supergirl tricked her once again, and she was mad at herself that, in spite of everything, she still missed her.
The knocking didn't stop. It only got stronger and more insistent. Her heart sped up. No one should be able to get to her front door without security informing her beforehand. Especially not at this hour. Lena's hand closed around the gun she always kept in her nightstand and she walked out of her bedroom.
For a second the young CEO thought she was still dreaming when she looked through the peephole and saw who was stranding on the other side. Taking a deep breath she opened the door.
And there she was. Her best friend. Ex best friend. Kara Danvers. In all her glory. Glasses and rain-soaked hair and dopey grin. Everything.
"I was hungry," Lena's visitor said simply, shrugging her shoulders. That... was not what Lena expected to hear. But just as Kara said the words, her grumbling stomach confirmed that she was, indeed, telling the truth. "I figured you haven't eaten, too, so I took a quick trip to the Big Belly and ordered all our favorites. Got caught up in the rain, too." The blonde smiled, holding up the huge bag full of greasy food in her hand. Lena's mouth watered at the smell. "Can I come in?"
It was a rare occasion to caught a Luthor off guard but that was exactly what was happening in that moment. As Nia Nal would say, Lena was shook. Being at loss for words, she just stepped away from the door and Kara confidently strode in, heading straight for the kitchen.
When the younger woman finally recovered from her initial shock and went into the kitchen, two plates were already full of fries and burgers. Two huge cups filled to the brim with shakes were standing beside them. "This one's yours. Strawberry. Your favorite. There's also a salad in the bag. Just in case you insisted on eating something healthy, as you always do. And I-"
"What are you doing here?" Lena asked sharply. She couldn't stand this situation any longer. "Why are you here, Supergirl? We are not friends anymore. You can't just come here as you please. It's the middle of the night!"
"You weren't sleeping yet. I checked. Kind of listened to your heartbeat...?" Kara mumbled sheepishly. "And you'll always be my friend. We are going through a rough patch right now but it'll be ok. You'll see."
"NO!" Lena was loosing her patience. "I don't want your friendship, Supergirl! We were never friends in the first place! It was all a lie! It's not a rough patch! It's a disaster! Or maybe all your friends use Kryptonite canons on you? I wanted to kill you today, you know!? Almost succeeded, too. I should've just gone through with it!"
"Lena..." Kara sighed sadly, feeling the fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. "You didn't want to kill me. You'd never do that. They were Lex's canons. I heard you. I heard how you stopped them. I heard how relieved you were when you did. Why are you trying to make yourself look like a villain when we both know you aren't one?"
"Don't tell me who or what I am, Supergirl!" Luthor gritted through her teeth.
"I AM KARA!" the other woman cried out, slowly loosing her composure. "I am Kara. Your friend. Kara. Please, stop calling me Supergirl in some stupid attempt at distancing yourself from me. We are friends. Yeah, I did a stupid, dumb, selfish thing and lied to you about my identity but I've never faked my feelings towards you. Everything I told you as Kara? It's true. You know me better than anyone. Even Alex doesn't know everything you do. I love you, Lena! So please, just eat with me. Can we just... Just give me tonight. Please!" The Kryptonian was openly crying right now and Lena wasn't doing much better.
They stood there, in the middle of the kitchen, staring at each other and breathing heavily. After a while, it was Lena's stomach that betrayed her, letting out a loud grumble. Traitor... The woman scoffed, grabbed her plate and went to sit on her couch. It wasn't long after she heard Kara following in her steps.
The blonde woman sat stiffly on the other end of the couch and started munching on her food, all the while looking at Lena wearily, waiting for the CEO to tell her to get out. Lena, on the other hand, acted as if the Kryptonian wasn't there.
That was how they spent the next half an hour.
"So, do you pretend to be all sweet and apologetic while secretly going behind their back with all your friends, Kara?" Lena snarled into the silence of the apartment when she finished her food. The alien's breath hitched.
"Lena... I swear I didn't know about the virus. I swear! I... Alex used me. I'd never- I didn't know! Please, believe me!"
"Believe you? That's rich!" Lena scoffed. "God, I am so stupid! I really thought for a moment that you were being genuine. I guess, once a fool always a fool..."
"Lena, don't talk about yourself like that, please. You're not a fool. I'm the bad guy in this story. You just trusted me, believed me and I used that. I used you. I'm sorry! I'll regret this for the rest of my life. But please, believe me when I say I didn't know about the virus and the satellite. All of it. When Alex told me, I was so angry with her. Please, believe me!"
"I don't know what to believe anymore." The brunette sighed. Her voice was filled with pain and all Kara wanted to do was to wrap her in a hug. But she couldn't do that. "I believed I finally found a family. People that like me for me. People that trust me. People that know I'm not like my brother. Like my mother. And look how wrong I was."
"You have a family. We love you. I do trust you, Lena. It was never- It was never about trust. I believed in you from the moment I stepped into your office with Clark. I wanted to be friends with you so bad. You are the one that pushed me into journalism. Gosh! When you told me I was your hero- You don't know how much it meant to me that you thought of me, plain human Kara me, higher than you thought of Supergirl. I am so tired of being this savior, this god-like creature sometimes. Everyone expects me to always be ready to jump into danger and save the day. No one asks about my feelings, my mood. I just have to do it. With you- I could just be a regular person. And I loved that. I know it was selfish but you were my safe heaven and I just- I needed that. I'm sorry."
"If you believed in me why did you react the way you did when you found out about Kryptonite. Why did you ask James to search my vault if you supposedly trusted me?"
"I- I admit that was awful. I don't know, Lena. I just- Maybe you were right. Maybe I do have a god complex. But how can I not when the world sees me as one? I'm sorry. I know I should've handled this whole situation differently. I just- I was afraid. I never believed you would hurt me but- I was just afraid that if I was wrong, if there was even a slight chance that you would turn against me- I don't think I would have the strength to stop you. I could handle everyone but you. And that's what made me act like an idiot. I'm sorry." Kara said rubbing her eyes. She was tired. So tired. The lack of sleep finally catching up to her.
"You should go home. You are about to fall asleep." Lena said still not looking at the hero.
"No. I need to- If we stop now, we'll never resolve this thing between us. And I need to do this. I won't be able to sleep if we leave it like that, anyway." Kara stood up, coming closer she kneeled in front of the younger woman. "Lena, look at me, please."
"Supergirl..."
"Please."
When Lena's eyes reluctantly met Kara's, the CEO lost it. The sob bubbled up from deep in her chest, ripping out of her so violently that her whole body shook. She was in the blonde's arms in an instant. "I want to hate you so much, Kara. I really do. You broke my heart.You broke my whole world. I was betrayed so many times and I got used to it somehow but your lies hurt more than anything lese ever did. It hurts so much. I really want to hate you. It would be so much easier if I hated you..."
Kara just held her, rocking back and forth. A constant stream of I knows and I'm sorrys coming from her mouth.
When Kara finally heard Lena's heart calming down after a few long minutes, she squeezed her one last time before letting go, taking a hold of her hands instead. "I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you but please, Lena. Please, tell me there's a chance that you can forgive me? That we can try to fix the things between us? I can't imagine my life without you. I don't want to imagine my life without you. I am willing to do anything. I will tell you everything you want to know. But, please, forgive me."
Lena's eyes were closed. Her cheeks flushed from exhaustion and stained with tears. Kara softly wiped them with her thumbs, cupping the brunette's face.
"I need time. I don't know- You hurt me so much, Kara. I need to process it all. I- I'm still angry but- I want to forgive you." Lena finished finally opening her eyes. Gone was the resentment, the coldness, the anger. Kara's heart started swelling with hope. She didn't even fight the smile that broke across her face, pressing it quickly on Lena's forehead. Both their heartbeats quickening at the contact.
"Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me." The Kryptonian mumbled against her friend's pale skin. Standing up, Kara gathered their dirty plates and carried them to the kitchen. "I'll go now. I will give you as much space as you need, Lena. But remember I'm always there for you. One word and I'm here, ok?"
"I know."
"Before I go- I'm sorry but I have to ask- Your project? Will you- Are you still planning to continue it?"
"No, Kara. Don't worry. I- I'm benching it. I think- I was a little blinded with anger when I started it and- I see now that I might've gone a little overboard with it. You can tell your sister that I'll try to be a good girl. For now." Lena stated with a barely-there smile. Kara snorted in response.
They were standing by Lena's balcony doors right now, both staring at each other, reluctant for the night to end. "Gosh, Lena, I- You have no idea how much this talk meant to me and I know I'm probably pushing it but- Can I hug you, please?"
As soon as Lena nodded, she was enveloped in a bone-crushing hug that lifted her off her feet. Literally. "Kara- We're floating."
"Oh, sorry! Got a little bit too excited." The blonde blushed, slowly floating back down. "Well- I- I'll go now. Have a good night, Lena. I'll see you soo- I'll see you."
"Good night, Kara. I'll see you soon. Thank you for dinner."
"Always." Kara smiled one last time before gently taking off, not breaking her eye contact with the CEO.
When she disappeared from the view, Lena closed the balcony doors and went back into her bedroom, climbing back into her bed. It was almost morning now, the sun shyly rising in the horizon, the rain a distant memory. She should've been tired, not having slept for good 24h. Strangely, she felt lighter and more rested than she did in a long time. Smiling to herself, she laid there thinking about blue eyes, dorky smile and the feeling if soft lips on her forehead.
They'll be ok.