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The warm summer breeze waved through his hair as Hyunjin looked apprehensively at the school gym entrance. He was definitely not ready to face prom, not alone, not when everyone knew why he was alone. But he had made a promise to himself: no more running way. If they judge him, that's their problem, besides, it was his last prom he knew he would regret not attending.
With a deep breath, Hyunjin walked in. The gymnasium was decorated with purple lights and sparkly balloons, which matched well with his self made suit. It was packed with hyper teenagers dancing to tacky music, the boy found it all quite amusing, but he couldn't shake the empty feeling in his heart.
The truth is, Hyunjin felt really lonely. So many people around, but he didn’t feel like a single one of them actually cared. What was there to care for anyways? All the ”friends” he had left him and he didn’t bother to make new ones, not when everyone in that school just made assumptions based on the fact that he was gay and didn’t care to find out that he was much more than that label. Well, except for someone… if only he was there...
But no, Seungmin wasn’t ready to face the judgmental looks and Hyunjin, well, Hyunjin was tired of hiding. It was his last year in high school, he wasn’t a little kid anymore and he had had enough of not being true to himself, besides he deserved someone who was ready to go against the world with him.
So he decided to let go and dance, because when he danced, his surroundings disappeared and it was only him and the music and anything was possible. He didn’t care if anyone looked at him weird, his favorite Madonna bop was playing and he was gonna pretend to be happy and dance until his limbs begged for him to stop.
The party went on and after a few songs Hyunjin felt tired, not of dancing, he could never get tired of dancing, but of doing it alone. He couldn’t shake the feeling of longing to be with someone, to slow dance, to kiss under the rain of cheap confetti, to laugh as if it was their last night on earth. Wasn't that what prom was supposed to be about? One last night where you get to just be a teenager and have fun, before you graduate and have to face the real world? Maybe the story line was just different for gay people, maybe he had the opportunity to come up with his own cliches and maye that was good. But for this night, he couldn’t help but feel a bit sad and left out.
As the lyrics to his favorite love song started playing Hyunjin decided it would be better to just go home and watch Pretty in Pink while he finished sewing his graduation suit.
But when he turned around as Terri Nunn sang “ Watching every motion, In my foolish lover's game ”, he saw someone walking directly towards him. No, not just someone, it was him. In a simple black suit with a big sky blue flower on his lapel, gelled hair and nervous smile, Seungmin stopped in the middle of the dance floor.
“ Only for today, I am unafraid. ”
Everything around them seemed to stop, or maybe it actually did because everyone was looking at the two slender boys staring at each other. Hyunjin waited, he was afraid of doing anything and scaring the other boy away. But he didn’t have to wait for long, Seungmin took one deep breath and stepped closer, nervously stretching out his hand to Hyunjin, the older boy not hesitating to take it.
“ Turning and returning, to some secret place inside. ”
“What are you doing here?’’ mumbled Hyunjin.
“Just listen to the lyrics of the song.” Seungmin replied quietly as he moved in closer, gesturing that he wanted for them to dance, to slow dance together, more precisely, in the middle of the gymnasium full of people. And so they did.
Hyunjin wrapped his arms around Seungmin’s small waist while the younger one held onto his shoulders. At first, out of embarrassment, they just swayed slowly, afraid to look into each other's eyes. But as the fear washed away, a need to be consumed by each other's gaze took over them and they admired the love reflected in their sparkling irises with faint smiles on their lips, saying so much without letting out a single word.
“ Take my breath away .”
After the song ended they just stood there, wrapped around in each other's arms. Everyone else had lost interest in the little reunion and had moved on because the next song was a catchy disco anthem. But that didn’t matter for the two boys who still looked into each other's eyes full of admiration. Hyunjin was enamoured by every little detail in Sungmin's soft, but handsome face, and the younger took that time to memorize the exact placement of his lover’s precious eye mole and the shape of his plump lips as if they would disappear if he looked away.
Seungmin was the first to break the silence.
“I’m sorry” he paused and looked down as if to hold in his tears, but then Hyunjin stroked his cheek in an encouraging manner and he looked up again with confidence. “I’m sorry I ran away. I’m sorry I hurt you because I wasn’t ready. I’m sorry I left you alone to deal with their stares and jokes and hate. I am so sorry. I understand if you don’t want to take me back but I promise you if you do I will not leave again, I will not run away, I will stay by your side and hold your hand and kiss you in public, the way you always wanted to.”
“Then can you start now?”
“What?”
“You are saying you will kiss me in public, I wanna know if you really mean it” As much as he wanted to give himself over to the boy right in front of him, Hyunjin had decided that waiting was not an option anymore.
But he didn’t need to wait at all, because as soon as the words left his lips they were replaced by the warm touch of Seungmin’s. That fresh mint taste that matched so well with Hyunjin’s cherry lip balm was once again gracing his lips and tongue, and oh god, how he missed it. But this time it was different, it was as if they were having their first kiss all over again, only now everyone could see it. The butterflies in both their stomachs went into a frenzy and they held onto each other tighter, their fingertips tugging at the cheap fabric of their suits as if begging to reach the skin underneath, to become one with each other.
The kiss could have lasted twenty seconds or twenty minutes, they couldn’t tell. Time had stopped moving around them as they were engulfed by pure bliss, drunk in love and excitement.
“Let’s get out of here, they don’t deserve this show” Hyunjin smiled as he forced himself to break the kiss. But deep down he was scared. When he danced alone he didn’t care if anyone hurt him, but now he wasn’t alone, in his arms there was someone who he couldn’t bear the thought of getting hurt.
“Hey,” Seungmin placed a peck on his nose “it’s okay.” Hyunjin really wasn’t good at hiding his emotions and Seungmin was an expert face reader. “I’m doing this for myself too, I’m ready. I want to be with you.” he smiled warmly placing his forehead on the older boy’s “But I agree, let’s leave I hate this song” (the song in question was Total Eclipse of The Heart, which offended Hyunjin, but they would have plenty of time to argue about it later.) “I wanna take you somewhere.”
Seungmin drove them all the way to where they had had their first date, the Han River. He had packed blankets and some snacks. And the night went on like that, with kisses and cuddles and cheesy confessions. They still had to be careful, but it didn't matter because they knew they had each other to lean on and there was no more fear and pain. It was like turning on a new page, their future looked bright and the present was ready for them to live it, truthfully.