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Sunday, 8th of July

Sometimes life brings random meetings in your life for a good reason. Most of the time we don’t get the reason right away; we need some time to figure it out, in order to know why we ended up there, in that position, with this person.             
It wasn’t that Sara felt bad or annoyed when she entered the reception room of the motel in Silver Lake, Los Angeles, she was simply surprised. Sofia Curtis was there, standing only a few feet away from her. Nobody else was around.  Sara hadn’t seen the detective in ages. After Sara had her awful night under the car in the desert, after Sofia helped to rescue Sara, Sofia vanished. No good-bye, no telephone number, nothing. The two women had never been very close - but it would have been nice if Sofia had said goodbye. On the other hand, Sara left Vegas a couple of weeks later in almost exactly the same way. So she couldn’t be mad at the blonde detective.         
“Sofia?”  Maybe Sara was wrong and it was just someone who looked like Sofia. 
The blonde woman turned around at the call of her name.  Surprise came to her face followed by a little soft smile.
“Sara! How are you?” Sofia didn’t move. She only looked at Sara, unsure what to do, how to react.  Should she hug Sara? Should she shake her hand?                     
“I’m fine, thanks. How are you?”          
“I’m good.”       
“I’m sorry, but you have to sign here,” said the woman at the reception desk, saving the two women from the first awkward period of silence.  Both were thinking of what to say next.             
Sara knew she had never been a friend to Sofia, but they had not had any problems working together. At least not after the first couple of months. But they never were friends. And Sofia had never managed to get close to the investigator, no matter what she’d tried.  Sara had this invisible wall around herself and she never offered Sofia help to climb over this wall.
“Sure.” Sofia signed her form and got her key. Room seventeen.         
“How long are you here for?” Sara asked when she moved closer to the reception to check in.
“The whole week. You?”  
“Same.”           
“I can give you a room next to each other,” the receptionist offered.            
The women looked at each other. Was is impolite so say, That’s not necessary? That they were old colleagues but not friends? Or should they take the offer, as it didn’t really matter if their rooms were next to each other, they were in the same motel anyway. There wasn’t a rule that said you had to spend time together when you lived next to each other.   
“Sure,” Sara said and she started to fill in the form and get room key eighteen. 
Caught in a new little pause, Sofia looked at the receptionist and asked about takeout delivery service. The woman handed her a few flyers.            
“If you’re hungry too we can have a bite,” Sofia offered. Having something from the take-away delivery service wasn’t like a real dinner. It was short and after that, she could pretend she was tired and needed to sleep.
“Sounds good, I’m starving.”  It was late in the afternoon and Sara hadn’t had lunch. She left home in the late morning and drove the whole way without a break, determined to arrive in Los Angeles as early as possible. Of course there had been traffic jams and she had nothing to eat with her in the car. She never had anything to eat with her, she was glad when she had found a half full bottle of water under the passenger seat.         
They took their bags and went to their rooms.  
“Um, why don’t you come over in five minutes after we both get settled down?” Sofia tried not to end up in a silence again.     
“Okay.” A little smile came to Sara’s face and that eased Sofia’s mind. Sara opened her door and went into her room. Relieved to have the chance to sort her thoughts Sara dropped her bag on a little sofa and fell backwards on her bed.  Hard and soft at the same time, if she would sleep badly it wasn’t because of the bed.      
What the hell is Sofia doing here? It wasn’t anything personal; it wasn’t that she especially disliked the fact that the detective was here, she just wasn’t prepared to see anybody from her old work place. She wasn’t prepared to have her past thrown in her face. She didn’t feel like talking about the ‘good old times’ in Vegas and the thought of hundreds of questions about her new life didn’t make her happy either. Telling Sofia all she wanted was time for herself would have been rude. There was no real reason to avoid the other woman. For Christ’s sake, she helped to rescue me in the desert! Sara thought she should feel something like a huge desire to thank Sofia. It’s not like they had a fight. It was only…Sara didn’t know why she felt like she did.             
She got herself up, walked in the bathroom, splashed some cold water in her face, changed into something casual, placed the fruits and the rest of the food she’d bought before she arrived in the little fridge and took a look out of her window. A few trees, a house and two kids playing with a ball on the street. It seems like she was in a quiet place, thank God for that.    
Sighing, she took her room key and closed the door behind herself. A little chat, some good food, that was all. She could excuse herself after an hour or so. She had had a long drive, had to get up early tomorrow, she couldn’t stay with Sofia the whole night. 
Lightly she knocked on Sofia’s door. Within seconds the detective opened the door and Sara was stunned. How the hell did Sofia manage to have a shower and a complete changeover in only five minutes?  Probably she had made a phone call in this time as well.      
“Sorry.” Sofia gestured to her hair while she let Sara in. “I needed a shower, hope you don’t mind having me around with wet hair.”          
“Not at all. We could have met in half an hour.” Sara would have taken a shower then as well.
“Aren’t we both starving?” Sofia smirked.  
“Yes.” Sara couldn’t disagree with that. Especially not with her stomach telling her she needed to eat. 
“You are a vegetarian, would Thai suit you?”    
“Sounds perfect.”            
Both women took a seat on the couch. Sara needed only one look to see that Sofia’s room looked the same as hers. But Sofia’s bed was on the opposite side of the room. In fact, they would sleep head to head that night, with only the wall in between. 
It took them only a few moments to make their decisions and call the restaurant. Sara was amazed at how easily Sofia could get the person on the other end of the phone to put their order on to the top of his list. It would only take twenty minutes and their food would be here.             
“I’m gonna count the minutes,” Sofia said after she put the phone down.
“You had no lunch?” What an obvious question.
“Nah, no time. I left San Jose before lunch and drove the whole way without a break.”
“San Jose?” Did she say San Jose?  Sofia was working in San Jose, only a short distance from San Francisco.        
“Yeah, I left Vegas to go to San Jose.  After all those years of heat and sunshine I needed a little bit of a cool weather. It’s perfect, not too far away from San Francisco, but closer to the national parks so that a hiking trip doesn’t take up too much driving time.” Sofia placed her feet under her body and turned so she could face Sara.     
The investigator took her time and studied the detective.  She hadn’t really changed. Sofia’s eyes were still ice-blue, they still seemed to be very interested in everything they saw, and she seemed to be in a perfect balance with herself. It really looked like San Jose was good for Sofia.          
“So you’re detective in San Jose, what are you doing here?”  
“I’m gonna be a lieutenant soon.”  
“Really?” So Sofia was still following in her mother’s footsteps. Lieutenant, the last step before captain, the same rank her mother held.    
“Yes, I take all the tests this week, here, in Los Angeles. I could have done it up north but it’s a bigger challenge to do it here, where I don’t know anybody. And the weather forecast was good.” She laughed.  Maybe she missed the sun a little bit. Sometimes. But she didn’t miss working night shifts, in her new job she could actually see the day.      
“Good luck with that.” And Sara was a little surprised that she meant the words from the bottom of her heart. She wished the detective all the luck for her tests. 
“Thanks, I need it.”         
“I’m pretty sure you’ll be fine.”   
“Hopefully. What’s about you?”    
“I’ve got a seminar downtown this week.” 
“Only you?  What about the rest of the team?”  She knew it, questions about her job would come. Oh well, of course Sofia would ask, as when she left, Sara was still with the team and they were both on the same team for a time. Of course wanted to know how the other guys were.    
“I’m not with the LVPD anymore.”         
“Oh,” was all that Sofia said.  Sara expected the next question would be something about her and Grissom. After all, the whole team knew about Sara and Grissom’s relationship after the kidnapping.     
“You are still a CSI?” 
“Yes. In Fresno.”            
“Fresno?”  The city had not had the best reputation in the past, but Sara thought it was a lovely place to be.        
“I know, it’s not the world’s favorite but I like it and I can go out in the forest for hikes. There’s so much nature around me and compared to Las Vegas not so much crime.”
This explanation must surely bring Sofia to Grissom as nature was the perfect place for his favorite pastime, studying bugs. Again Sara expected a question about him next. 
“That means we’re both away from Vegas, both took a place closer to nature and we both ended up in Los Angeles at the same time. Crazy coincidence.”  That was all Sofia has to say? No more questions about my private life?              
“Yes.”
 “And the guy has got only a few minutes to make his promise come true.”  Sofia glanced at her watch and started laughing when Sara’s stomach loudly showed its support. 
“Sorry.” Sara had to smile.  Her body had taken over.       
“You’re absolutely right.” Sofia suddenly jumped up and grabbed into her bag that was half under the couch.  She got a bag with candies out and held it in front of Sara’s face.  
“Candy?”         
“Weren’t you ever told that you shouldn’t eat candies before dinner?”
“That was one of the things I swore to myself as a child I’d never do when I was an adult. I made a promise to myself I’d eat all the candy I want whenever I want it. Candy?” 
She smiled widely. Sara had no choice but to grab in the candy bag and smile too.  
“I think you can eat candy before, during, and after dinner, it won’t kill your hunger, that’s only a lie parents tell their children to force some healthy food in them. It’s the same with cola. What a stupid lie – like you can’t sleep when you drink cola. I live on caffeine and I sleep every night like a baby. When you work hard your body takes the sleep, no matter if it had caffeine or not.”     
“How do you like working day times?” Sara asked.       
“It’s a relief. I mean I really enjoyed working with you guys, but the night shift wasn’t my shift. I prefer to have a breakfast before work, to go jogging in the sunset and finish the day with a glass of wine on my balcony, watching the city switching on the lights for the night.  And did you know that a midnight movie has it own flair?”        
“I heard that somewhere.”     
“Fresno has a CSI night shift?”   
“No, we have one shift and that’s enough.” 
“Isn’t that a step back in your career?” Sofia’s voice made it clear to Sara that she didn’t have to answer this question. It was more like a question for the sake of a question.           
“I’m the supervisor,” Sara said.          
“Really?”          
“Yeah, we’re a team of four, and with the lab, seven. Most of times when we get something bigger, we send the stuff to San Francisco.”       
“A lovely quiet place.”  
“Yes.”  
“A supervisor.” Sofia couldn’t stop smiling.                  
“You think I wouldn’t be a good supervisor?”      
“No.  Actually I think you’d be a great supervisor. You know so many things and you…you know how to handle people.”             
“Hm?” Sara couldn’t help but stare at Sofia as if the other woman had said something in Chinese. She knew how to handle people? Usually people told her she wasn’t a people person, at all!  Her own biggest concern, when they offered her the position, was that she couldn’t lead a team. That she would – at some point – shut them out. So far this hadn’t happened, but she expected it to come along every day.                    
“Oh Sara, how honest can I be?” Sofia laughed.            
Good question. Did Sara want to hear an honest answer from Sofia?  Did she really want to know what the other woman thought about her? Or would she prefer to smile and have Sofia simply tell her a lovely lie?  In this way there was a chance the evening wouldn’t be destroyed before they even touched dinner.   
Before Sara could answer somebody knocked on the door.     
“Finally.” Sofia jumped up and was at the door in what Sara considered a record time. Before the delivery guy could say much she gave him some money, which according to his smile was a good tip, for being on time, and had the door closed.     
“Foooooooooood!”     
She dropped the bags on Sara and ran to the kitchen. Sara wasn’t sure if she was happy that the delivery boy saved her from a delicate answer or if she thanked him for being that fast with the food.  Her stomach definitely went for the last point.    
Sofia handed her a fork and a spoon, ready to start dinner. Sara opened the bag and her stomach started to scream under the influence of all the good smells coming out of the bag. “I’m sooo with you, Sara’s stomach.” Sofia said and opened her box, pushing the spoon deep in the rice. “That was just about time.”      
“Absolutely.” Sara decided to eat her spring roll with her fingers.  Hot and spicy tofu with vegetables made her feel happy. Man, this was the best part of the day so far. 
Sara didn’t spend an hour with Sofia - they spent the whole evening together, talking, watching some TV, complaining that they didn’t have any wine or beer, and just relaxing. 
Around 11 p.m. Sara finally rose.       
“I think it’s time to go to bed.  I mean, I only have a seminar tomorrow, I’m gonna sit there and listen, you will have to do something.”      
“Yes. I’ll have my last courses before the first tests.”   
“You  need some sleep but I think you won’t have any problems with all those tests.”
“Thanks, I’ll try not to disappoint you. What do you think about dinner tomorrow?” Sofia asked.   
“Sure. I finish around five.”    
“Six.”   
“That means I’ll organize our dinner. Salad and pizza?” “Beer and wine?”   
“I guess I can get all four things for us.”   
“Now that sounds like a promise I’d like you to keep. Enjoy your seminar.”
“I will.”            
Sara left Sofia’s room.  Just before she entered her own room Sofia’s head poked out and she called Sara’s name.    
“Sara?”            
“Yes?” 
“You are good with people, simply take it.” Before Sara could say something or react, Sofia went back in the room and the door was locked.             
Sara shook her head and closed the door behind herself.  What was she supposed to do with this last sentence?  She knew she hadn’t been easy to work with for Sofia in her first weeks.  As time went along it got better, but calling Sara a people person was too much.  She didn’t mind people, it was simply that most of the time she enjoyed having some time for herself.  All the social interaction she needed she got while she was working. 
Sara stripped down her clothes and stepped into her shower, welcoming the hot water with a relieved sigh.              
Good with people.  She was a good supervisor, at least that’s what her boss told her and she never got any complaints from the people she worked with.  They knew she’d worked for eight years in Vegas and before that in San Francisco, they knew she was qualified for the job.  They met up after work, they went together to dinner once a month. She wasn’t sure if she would consider them as good friends, but they were friends. Not too close, but close enough to care for each other and take care of each other. 
With wet hair Sara got in bed and turned off the light.  Maybe it wasn’t so bad that she and Sofia had met up here.          

 
 
Monday, 9th of July
 
“How was your day?” Sara asked as she lifted her sunglasses. Half an hour ago she had made the decision to enjoy the evening sun on the balcony of the motel. With a book and a cold beer she made herself comfortable on one of the wooden chairs. 
Sofia grimaced. Her day was like a trip to hell and back. “Awful.”              
She let herself drop on the chair next to the investigator. “Mind?” Her eyes were on the beer, Sara noticed, even behind the typical black shades.             
“Go ahead.”      
“Thanks.”         
With one move Sofia had the bottle on her lips and only a blink later it was empty.
“Sorry. But if it makes you feel better, that was exactly what I needed.”          
“I bought a six pack, don’t worry about it. Want another one and wine with your pizza?”
“You truly got pizza, wine, and beer?” Sofia was speechless. She thought Sara might have forgotten about their dinner. The Sara she used to know definitely would have.
“Pizza is here in twenty minutes. I wasn’t sure what you prefer so I ordered a small veggie and a big one with a quarter pepperoni, mushrooms, chicken and seafood. And two small salads.”            
“You are the greatest.” Sofia could barely stop an urge to hug the other woman. “Give me five minutes and I’ll be done with my shower.”           
“You’ve got twenty.” Sara smiled. “No need to hurry.”
“No need to hurry? You mentioned a six pack of beer!” Laughing, Sofia got up and let herself in her room. Yes, the day had been exhausting, but it seemed like the evening would make up for it. So would her shield as a lieutenant, but at the moment, cold beer and pizza were closer. 
She stripped off her clothes before she even entered the bathroom and jumped under the water before it was warm. The cold water on her hot skin made her gasp. That. Was. Fresh. Holy Moley. She enjoyed the moment when her body got used to the refreshing water and slowly started to relax, welcoming the warm water that eased away the pain in her back. With the water beating on her back as a light massage, Sofia began to wash her hair and her body. She had twenty minutes but she didn’t want to spend them all under the shower. Not because of the beer, or not only - she was really looking forward to have a cold beer, but she also was looking forward to talk to Sara. Didn’t that sound strange? Or at least unusual.
Sara. To be honest, Sofia hadn’t been all that happy when she realized who was checking in after her yesterday. Sara Sidle. She knew she couldn’t pretend she didn’t know the other woman. She knew she couldn’t avoid offering to have dinner together, it would have been rude, but she wasn’t pleased. Sara had never been somebody easy to talk to, not when it wasn’t work related. It had always been like the brunette investigator didn’t want anybody poking around her private life. Something Sofia could understand to a point. But it was hard – if not impossible – to have a conversation that wasn’t work related, and not touch on one’s private life. Somehow she managed it yesterday. Somehow she had enjoyed her time with Sara yesterday. And somehow she was looking forward to having another evening with Sara. 
She knew if she would start to poke around Sara’s private life, the evening would be over before it started. She knew if she wanted to talk with Sara about private things, she had to give her some space, some way to answer questions without feeling interrogated and without the pressure of answering them. Not exactly what she was trained for. Actually the exact opposite of what she was trained to do.   
When Sofia came back out on the balcony the beer was waiting for her.              
“Out of the fridge a minute ago,” Sara said before Sofia could say anything. “Should be thirty-nine degrees, that’s the best temperature to drink a beer. I read somewhere that in Germany they brew their beer at a temperature of thirty-nine degrees and if they know anything, it’s how to make a good beer.”       
Sofia took a sip. “Don’t get me wrong but I love you! Nobody else ever did something so wonderful for me.”      
“Like what?”
Sofia was relieved to see that Sara was laughing. As soon as she had said ‘I love you’, she regretted it, anxious that Sara would take it wrong.   
“Like giving me an ice cold beer after a shower so that the last five minutes until the pizza arrives won’t be too long. Especially after a day in hell.”  
“You’re welcome.” Simple as that. Sara wouldn’t ask.  She didn’t like it when people asked her questions, so she didn’t do it herself either.    
“You know if we both survive this week successfully we should celebrate.” It was more a thought than an actual statement. Sofia didn’t mean to say it loud, it was supposed to be more of a mental note to herself. 
“If we survive?” Sara was amused. “I didn’t know it was about life and death.”       
“Trust me, becoming a lieutenant is like dying.” 
“So you’re one step closer to…whatever comes after life.”     
“What do you think comes after life?”              
“As a scientist? We die and that’s it. Our body stops working and that is our end.”             
“Is there another part in you? A part that isn’t a scientist?” Sofia said with a teasing tone. Maybe that was a way to get some private insight into Sara Sidle. It wasn’t too personal, but it was a start.       
“Spirit and soul you mean? I’m not sure if there’s a spirit or if it’s only the memory of us. Maybe there’s a spirit of dead people around us, maybe it’s only us blaming something because we can’t let go.”     
“I think the spirit or the soul of the people who were close to us are still there after they’ve left.” Sofia took another sip. “At least the good ones. I’m with you that the spirit of the people who were bad only seem to be here because we can’t let them go, need to blame them for our comfort. But the spirit of people we loved, who loved us, is with us, protecting us. Evil people don’t deserve a spirit, their spirit dies when they become evil, so it dies while they’re still alive.” Sofia couldn’t remember the last time she had such a conversation. It was a little bit strange.             
 A car with a big pizza advertisement atop it stopped in front of the motel.  Sara stood up. 
“This time it’s on me.”            
“Okay.”           
“The wine is inside. I guess wine goes better with pizza than beer. You wanna eat inside or outside?” 
Sofia took a look around. Nobody was there, they could go on eating outside, there was no need to look for privacy inside. And for what reason should she need privacy with Sara Sidle? 
“Let’s enjoy the sun as long as it’s here.”         
“Okay.” Sara went down to get their food.    
Sofia got the wine and two glasses and placed them on a third chair that they could use as a table. A fourth chair gave both women the chance to lay their feet on it. Sitting on a balcony, having wine, pizza and salad, watching the sunset?  Life could be worse.   
“How was your seminar?”          
“Interesting. We used a new machine that gives us the results of DNA test in only half the time the old machines do. A faster result on DNA means a faster warrant, a faster answer to questions and a faster arrest. Unfortunately I’ll get this baby in Fresno at a time when there’ll be around a dozen machines that are even newer and faster. The CSI office is not exactly the top priority in Fresno.”           
“Fresno is not known as the capital of crime in America or California.”        
“No, thanks for that. I quite enjoy a quiet day. But with this comfortable quiet I’ll never have the newest version of machines in the lab.”      
“Trouble and new techniques on the one side, a quiet place and older stuff on the other side. What will be your choice, Miss Sidle? Time is running out, left or right. Tick, tick, tick.” Sofia giggled and imitated an old game show jingle.   
“Crazy woman,” Sara laughed. She had made her decision already.            
“Maybe that’s the alcohol. Almost two bottles of beer on an empty stomach, the alcohol could enter my brain without a problem.”          
“I guess it’s your personality, not the alcohol,” Sara teased.      
“Well, thanks for that.”           
“My pleasure.” 
“I wanted to share my candy with you, now I have to think about it.”           
“That’s alright, I’ve got ice cream.”             
“You have got WHAT?” Sofia’s eyes almost popped out of her head. Sara had ice cream? Ice cream! And she didn’t mention that earlier? Sofia might never have found out if she hadn’t mentioned the candy.   
“Sure, it’s a warm day, I figured ice cream would be a great dessert.  But if you prefer a candy bar...”
“Don’t you dare not share that ice cream with me, Sara Sidle! I’ve got a weapon and I will use it if I have to!”          
“That would be an abuse of your weapon.” Sara was amused. Now she knew how she could make Sofia do whatever she liked, she only needed some ice cream. Hopefully none of the criminals in San Jose had figured that out.       
“I don’t care. It’s for a higher power.”            
“Would you be alright with having the ice cream a little bit later? I’m actually quite full after the pizza and the salad. We could have another beer and then ice cream.” “As long as there will be ice cream for me this evening I’m fine with everything. What kind of ice cream?”      
“You’re the detective, go detect.” Sara smiled widely.   
“I heard that before,” Sofia mumbled. “Thirty-something suspects and I was supposed to find them all.”      
“There’s only one freezer in my room.”        
“And I’m almost a lieutenant.”       
“Almost. As long as you’re still a detective, you can detect.”             
“What do you think I’ll do when I’m a lieutenant?”       
“Send somebody to detect?”            
“Maybe. A CSI for example.”          
“Thank God I’m a supervisor, I can send somebody to find the evidence.”         
“So you’re a lazy pen-pusher now?”               
“No, I pick the nicest cases for myself and investigate them. When I know there’s a detective at the scene I don’t like, I take another case and go there.”   
“How could you not like a detective?”       
“Maybe if it’s a snobby blonde?”          
“You’re on thin ice, Sidle.”        
“I’m the one with the ice cream, Curtis.”  
“I know where it is, the door is open, there’s no way you could stop me. I’m on my way to become a lieutenant, I can take you out in two seconds.” 
“Really?” Sara looked at the detective, very amused. “Really.”          
“Lucky for us I always intended to share with you. Under the condition that you’ll organize dinner tomorrow night.”  
Another dinner? And Sara was the one who suggested it. It really looked like they were both enjoying these times together. Sofia definitely was. She couldn’t remember ever having talked to the brunette so easily and so relaxed.             
“Who said I wanna have dinner with you tomorrow?” she teased Sara.     
“The fact that you won’t find anybody better than me to have dinner with. The fact that you enjoyed this dinner. The fact that this is better than having some fast food in a fast food place. And if all that doesn’t count – but I know it does – the fact that I’ll have enough ice cream for two evenings.” Sara smirked.            
“Interesting facts, I have to say. What would you like to have?”          
“Surprise me.” 
 “Okay, I can do that.”            
After all, Sara had surprised Sofia in the last 24 hours several times. The new Sara Sidle was full of positive surprises.          

 
Tuesday, 10th of July
 
“I can’t see any food.” Sara looked down at Sofia. Again she arrived an hour before the detective and had already taken a seat on the balcony.      
“Food’s here in thirty.” Sofia dropped a bag in front of Sara.             
”What’s that?” 
“You’re the investigator, investigate. I’m having a shower.” Sofia threw a grin at Sara and went in her room.      
“She’s getting cheeky.”           
Sara opened the bag.  Sweets, fruits and a bottle of Irish Cream. Together with another six pack of beer. After this week Sara would have to take a break from alcohol. But she had to say it was very nice to sit here with Sofia, drinking some beer, talking and…well, having a damn good time. Yes, she really had a good time with Sofia.   
Using the last space in her fridge, she put the food in, turned on the radio and looked for her favorite radio station. Classic hits in the background, another gorgeous sunset ahead and hopefully a nice dinner. With all that, she didn’t feel guilty for having a good time while her colleagues had to work.            
“You need too much time for your shower,” was all what Sara said when Sofia was back and looking at the beer. It had been out of the fridge for five minutes so the best drinking temperature was gone.         
“If you wash my back tomorrow I’d be faster,” Sofia answered dryly.     
Sara raised an eyebrow. “You’re dreaming.”        
“No, I’m mocking you.” Sofia regretted the sentence the second she said it. She wasn’t sure if her relationship with Sara was good enough to come up with such a joke.      
“Even worse. What’s for dinner?”            
“You’ll see in…” Sofia looked at her watch, “less than five minutes.”  She opened a beer, sat down next to Sara and got her legs up on a chair.     
“Any new machines for you today?”      
“No, today was a listening day. We had half a dozen speakers from different crime labs and two scientists. Very interesting but very exhausting. I was very thankful when it was over.”
“Anybody there you know?”      
“Actually yes. My old boss from San Francisco.”      
“San Francisco?”       
“Sure, I used to work there before I came to Vegas. I thought you knew that.”       
“No, I didn’t.” Sofia got up as a car pulled into the car park.     
Sara watched the blonde go down to it.  The advertisement on the car told her she would have Mexican for dinner. Hot and spicy burritos, perfect with beer and the ice cream with fruit would be a great counterpart to the main menu.              
“Green is for you, red is for me.” Sofia handed her a rolled bag. “Vegetarian burrito.”            
“Exactly what I wanted.”           
“Remember that I know what’s good for you.”    
“Do you?”  Sara chuckled.             
“Sure. I passed my first test, I’m going be a lieutenant soon, so I know what’s good for you and everybody else.”    
“Congratulations. Let me guess...you passed it magna cum laude.”      
“Summa cum laude.” 
"Libenter homines id, quod volunt, credunt."          
“What?”           
“People prefer to think what they like. Libenter homines, id quod volunt, credunt. It’s a quote of Caesar’s.”        
“You spend too much time with books and geeks.”
“I am a geek,” Sara told her.    
“I forgot that. You seemed so human the last two days.”       
“Thanks.” Sara snorted. Maybe she should threaten Sofia with the ice cream again. The blonde was much nicer when she feared losing the dessert.       
“You do any sports?  Beside hiking?” Sofia asked.  It was time to find out more of the private Sara Sidle. Talking about sport was a better idea than talking about relationships.
“I used to surf.”     
“You? A surf bunny?” Sofia almost choked on her last bite. Sara Sidle on a surfboard? Sara Sidle with all the surfer guys and beach bunnies?  No, that couldn’t be true, that must be a joke.         
“I was no surf bunny, I was a surfer.” 
“You were good?”  
“As a teenager I was not too bad. But when I went to college I stopped.” And when she went the last time, she came home covered in a  million small bruises or one huge bruise, depending on how you looked at it.       
“Did you ever try surfing?” Sara asked.       
“No, I didn’t. I like watching it, it looks really cool.”
“Wanna try?” Sara surprised herself with this offer. Did she really just offer to take Sofia out to the beach and teach her to surf? What was wrong with her? What happened to the old Sara Sidle? The Sara, who preferred to spend her time alone. The Sara, who tried to avoid all the people from her past. The Sara, she used to know.  
“Sure.” Sofia was as amazed as Sara was. Sara Sidle offered her to spend an afternoon with her on the beach, teach her some surfing tricks. What’s wrong with this woman? 
“Right after your tests and my seminar wouldn’t be a good time, I think. Maybe we should stay another night here and try our luck on Saturday.” Sara had a whole weekend off, she was due back to work on Monday. It couldn’t be that bad to spend the weekend in Los Angeles.  As soon as she was back in Fresno it was an effort to get to the ocean.    
“I have to be back in San Jose on Sunday evening, so that will be fine with me. But I didn’t pack a swimsuit.”        
“The best reason to go shopping.”         
“Yes, I like to have a good excuse for spending money.”  And after this surprising offer she felt safe enough to add a question. “Will you join me on my shopping trip?  Say Friday afternoon.”
“As I also don’t have a swimsuit it would be appropriate.  Nude surfing isn’t legal in L.A. as far as I know.” 
“I doubt any guy would mind seeing you naked on the board.”  Sofia grinned.             
“You have no idea and I can’t get a call from the cops here to my boss. ‘Sir, sorry to tell you, your CSI supervisor was surfing naked, we had to arrest her.’”   
 “Give me a little bit more time and when I’m the police chief in San Jose you can do your nude surfing there. If anybody dares to arrest you I’ll get you out of jail in seconds.  I promise.”
“I’ll keep that in mind for when you’re the police chief …but I’m not sure anybody will enjoy an sixty year old nude grandmother on a surfboard.”     
“I’ll be police chief way before that time. Besides, I’m pretty sure you’re gonna be a hot granny.”
Sara threw a suspicious look at Sofia.  Was she trying to flirt?  Was she mocking Sara? Or was it a compliment?     
“What?” Sofia asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. She wasn’t sure if she went a step too far. Maybe she shouldn’t endanger the good relationship she just built with Sara with sloppy comments like that.  But she couldn’t help herself, it slipped out of her mouth before she could stop herself.              
“I won’t be a hot granny.”      
“You never know. So, where’s the ice cream?”            
“Freezer, all your groceries are in the fridge.” 
“Perfect.  I’ll do some magic and surprise you with a fantastic dessert.”           
“I expect sparks.”            
“I’ll give you fire.” Sofia smiled and got up. “Two minutes.”           
“I’ll count,” answered Sara dryly.     
This was an interesting evening, she thought. Not so much the topics they had discussed as her own reactions. Years ago Sara would have blown up if Sofia had said something like the ‘hot granny’ stuff. She would have told her to shut up, to not mock her or even worse, not to flirt with her. If anybody had asked her that morning, she would have said she would still have reacted like that. Instead she wasn’t angry, wasn’t mad, wasn’t cynical. She could take it as a joke, as a sloppy comment, and go on without ending up in a fight.      
Hell, Fresno had changed her. But damn, she liked the new Sara.              
“Two minutes are over,” Sara said.      
“Bean counter,” Sofia countered.         
“Just remember that’s the time you gave me.”   
“If I promise you it’s worth waiting for, will you give me a little bit more time?”   
“I asked that once of a boyfriend, he said ‘Yes’ but what he really meant was ‘No.’” Did she say that out loud? Why did she do that?  It wasn’t Sofia’s business to know about Sara’s old relationships. They were none of her business.           
“Thanks to mother nature, you’re a woman, so if you say yes, you mean yes.”              
No further questions? Sofia simply took that comment and went on? A sigh of relief escaped from Sara’s mouth. That was easy, that was good. Indeed, that was really good. Just like the last evenings, Sofia seemed not to ask Sara anything about her private life. She listened to comments Sara made about her private life, showed some interest, but she never tried to find out more than the investigator gave her. As a detective, Sofia sucked these last evenings, as an interlocutor she was exactly what Sara needed.             
It was nothing new to her, that she was more willing to open herself up and to tell more about her private life when nobody was pushing her, but she was surprised with the comfort she said these things at this moment. Just as if she and Sofia had been friends all their lives. Which was far from truth. But somehow it seemed like the two women got along better day after day. 
“Thanks for your patience.” Sofia came out of Sara’s room. In each hand was a bowl with ice cream. But Sara’s eyes were caught on the one lit sparkler, shining in the waning sunlight.   
“I wanted to cover your bowl with sparklers as you wanted fire, but then I thought, sometimes less is more.”          
“I’m impressed.” Sara took her bowl, carefully holding it far enough away from herself so as not to get burned by the sparks. Fruit was cut in pieces and surrounded the ice cream. Chocolate sprinkles were all over, traces of Irish Coffee had made its way around to the edge of the bowl.   
“The best for the best.”          
“It was worth waiting for.”      
“Isn’t it always?”           
“Sometimes.” Sara was thinking if Sofia’s question was a hidden request to tell her about the boyfriend Sara mentioned before. If it was, it didn’t sound curious or like she wanted to force an answer out of Sara. It could be also just a rhetorical question.           
When no further question came, Sara closed her eyes and silently enjoyed her ice cream. What a life. Another sunset, another dinner delivered, another evening with probably good conversation. She had to admit her skill enhancement seminar felt more like a paid holiday. In fact, her last holidays weren’t as good as these last three days.            
“Can I say something without offending you?” Sofia asked after they both had finished their ice cream and sat there for a few minutes in silence.              
“Sure.”
“You never struck me as a talker, I’m very surprised that we’ve had the third evening in a row now sitting together and talking. I must say I really like that.  Thank you for this great time, Sara.”   
Sara turned her head to see Sofia’s face. Her ice-blue eyes laid soft on the investigator, not expecting anything. It was only a statement she wanted to make.    
“You’re right, I’m not a talker. Never was, probably never will be. But I never felt like I have to talk, like I have to tell you anything. It all was casual, it was nice to chat. You never tried to dig anything out of me, if I stopped saying anything it seemed to be alright with you.”
“You mean, I didn’t ask any private questions?” Sofia smiled.    
“Yes.”  
“It’s not that I’m not interested in your private life, in a healthy way. Everybody is interested in the private life of the people they are surrounded by. But I think one of the great things about private life is that it’s private. So everybody should make their own decision if and when they want to share what with whom. Silence can be awful, can make you feel uncomfortable, but I have to say, with you also enjoying a few silent moments, it feels right. Just like two worked out law enforcement chicks having a nice evening.”    
“One of the great things about private life is that is private?  Who told you that?”  
“Could be a Sidle quote, couldn’t it?” Sofia softly teased.              
“Yes, it could be.” Sara smiled. “Maybe I’m gonna steal it from you.”         
“You’re welcome to use it whenever it suits you.”         
“Thanks. And thank you for your statement. I have to say I’m also very pleased with our time together. I wouldn’t mind another evening like this.”           
“Sara, if you get me a good dinner tomorrow you are totally in the position to spend another evening with me.”     
“Now, how many guys would pay a fortune to hear that sentence from you?” Sara laughed.  Maybe the first part of the sentence would scare some away, but the clever ones would simply take Sofia out to a good restaurant.        
“Many, and you get it for free. That should make you proud.”       
“I have to pay for the dinner.”  
“In return I’ll do the same for you the next day. Our relationship is a give and take.”  
“As every good relationship should be.” Sara mumbled the words more than said them but Sofia could hear. And she could hear that it wouldn’t be a good idea to ask further questions now or to joke about this. Her statement about private life was supposed to be used here.  
“Shall I do the dishes?”            
“I didn’t know you were a housewife.” Sara couldn’t help but smile. Sofia understood that Sara didn’t want to deepen her last comment. She wouldn’t push her. The detective would not try to detect the past of the investigator. Did that make a bad detective of Sofia? Or was Sara a bad investigator, stopping an investigation about something maybe interesting to the other woman?           

Wednesday, 11th of July    

Rain destroyed their evening on the balcony. Without mercy, big cold drops fell down, sometimes at a strange angle when the wind blew harder.  Their chairs were wet.          
“Wanna hear something juicy from our old work place?”    
Sofia had made herself comfortable on Sara’s sofa, waiting for the brunette to come out of the kitchen.  It was Sara’s turn to provide the dinner. Instead of calling another delivery service, the CSI borrowed a hot plate and a pot from the reception. Today they would eat something Sara had cooked. If that was something good or bad, Sofia would find out soon enough. 
The question about the information about their old work place had been in Sofia’s head since lunch. Should she try to talk with Sara about Vegas or was it better not to mention that topic? It wasn’t private, it wasn’t about her, it was about people they both used to work with. It seemed normal to Sofia to talk with an old colleague about their other old colleagues. But then again, what was normal when Sara Sidle was involved?          
At the end she made the decision to try it. If Sara said ‘No” or didn’t answer, Sofia would change the topic.
Sara came out of her kitchen, not exactly excited about what was probably new gossip, but more because she had finished what she was doing.   
“Dinner will take a few more minutes.” Okay, she didn’t want to hear anything from her old work place, Sofia thought. But Sara’s tone was friendly, not like she was trying hard to avoid talking to Sofia at all.        
“What did you cook?”              
“Soup.”            
“Soup?” Sofia was supposed to live on soup today?   
“Yes. Don’t worry, you’re gonna be full at the end,” Sara said, reading her thoughts.     
“Will I?”            
“Yes, Lieutenant Curtis, you will be fine. Trust me.”      
“I trust you because you called me lieutenant. Sounds good.”  
“I quite like detective.  Detective Curtis. Lieutenant Curtis. Officer Curtis?”            
“I could charge you with…I would find something for this insult.” Sofia grumped. Officer. That was a long time ago. She wasn’t a rookie anymore.           
“Captain Curtis?”            
“One day for sure.”    
“Chief Curtis.”   
“That’s the goal. Supervisor Sidle. You don’t have any other goal? Supervisor of the office? Chief of the office?”             
“I’m happy. The higher your position is, the more people try to kick you out of your job and the more papers you get to fill in.  I’m already annoyed with the forms I’ve got to worry about every day.”    
“It won’t get any less.”          
“No, it won’t.  They made it clear today.”     
“Oh, it was paper day?”      
“Yes. How to run an office efficiently. Which program will help you to fill out forms faster and better. Which dates are very important for which forms. I can tell you, watching somebody fishing is more exciting than that.”     
“You miss the old field days?”             
“In some ways I do. But in Fresno it’s alright. Really, I do not handle more forms than in a busy week in Vegas.”             
“Sweet little Fresno.”            
“Don’t mess with my home of choice, Officer.”            
“Say that one more time and you’ll be in big trouble. I’m gonna restrain you.”     
“You won’t.” Sara’s grin went wider. The blonde was lying lazily on her sofa, she wouldn’t move. Moving would mean she had to get up, had to leave her beer alone, had to motivate her body to do some work. Sara felt quite safe.      
Sara moved her lips slowly without breaking contact with Sofia’s eyes. “Officer,” came out as sweet as sugar from her mouth, followed by a big smirk.          
Sofia didn’t move. She only stared at Sara.     
“You. Have. Been. Warned.” Slowly these words came from Sofia’s mouth, eyes still on Sara’s. With one jump Sofia was on her feet, beer left on the floor. Before Sara could try to escape and lock herself up in the bathroom, Sofia had her - she threw her with one easy move on the king size bed and before Sara’s body touched it completely, her arms were behind her and she was cuffed. That was more than smooth, that was the perfect move.
“You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Do you understand?”
“You’re reading me my rights?” Sara had to laugh. And, wham, Sofia was fast! 
“Anything you do say may be used against you in a court of law.  Do you understand?”
“I wonder which courtroom you will go to with this.”    
“You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. Do you understand?”    
“You know I know all these things, don’t you?”    
”If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without an attorney present you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present? Do you understand your rights?”      
“I do understand that you have no legal right to treat me like this. I do understand that you violated the law and my personal rights. I do understand that you got yourself into trouble by acting without thinking. I do understand you have to finish cooking our dinner if you leave me here cuffed.” Sara turned around and looked into Sofia’s eyes. The detective was kneeling next to the investigator, visibly more than satisfied with what she saw.      
“Feeling comfortable?” Sofia asked.      
“I’ve had worse moments in bed.”             
“I’d like to listen to those stories but I’m afraid I prefer to eat. Being in a position where I can use my both arms and hands I can eat. Not like somebody else, who is helpless and will watch me eating soup and later having dessert. That would really bother me. Waiting the whole day for a lovely dinner you invested so many hours in, and then you have to miss it out, only because you couldn’t resist assaulting a future lieutenant. Really sad.”       
“I’ve gotta give you credit for being so fast. I never thought you could move that fast from the sofa. Reminded me of a panther, that looks lazy, but as soon as it sees it’s prey, it’s wide awake and catches it’s dinner within seconds.”          
“That’s a little step back toward  freedom. Try better.”  Sofia was willing to let Sara free again if she could make up for the insult.     
”What do you want me to do? I mean, I could call my lawyer but we both don’t want to be bothered by him.”            
“And the little fact that in your current position you can’t make a phone call.”   
“You can’t violate my right for a phone call.”     
“I can, I’ve got the keys to the handcuffs.”        
“Tomorrow you have to let me free and then you’ll feel sorry.”  
“Who said I have to let you go? I can bind you to something.”       
“They would miss me at the seminar, they would call and the housekeeper would find me. Even if you put up a ‘Do no disturb’ sign.”    
“I can put you in my room.”     
“They’d look there too, they know we know each other.”
“Oh well, I’ve got a huge trunk.”   
“Some people would be scared being in my situation, hearing all these potential threats.”
“But you aren’t?”             
“You are still a detective, even as a lieutenant, your job will be to take care of the CSI. I am a CSI. If you let anything happen to me, you would have failed in your job.  You’re too good to fail in your job. I’m safe.”  Sara smiled, relaxed.            
“You know, by telling me I’m a good cop you set yourself free.” Sofia smiled. “Turn around so that I can open the cuffs.”  
Obeying, Sara turned around and a few seconds later she was free again, rubbing her wrists. 
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Sofia’s voice was full of concern when she saw what the brunette did.  The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Sara.  It was supposed to be a joke! 
“No, I’m fine. I’m just not used to being cuffed. Usually I’m on the right side of the law.”
“Sure?” Sofia took Sara’s hands. There were no marks or bruises but she knew it would take some time until any showed. She had made sure the cuffs were loose enough to give Sara some space.
“Sure.” Sara smiled and got up. “Soup should be ready. Wanna help me in the kitchen?”
“Sure.” Sofia followed her into the kitchen. “What can I do?”         
Sara handed her a loaf of bread. “Cut it, please. I’ll finish up with the soup. For a moment Sofia watched how Sara cut parsley. Her hands moved steadily. If there was any pain, she didn’t show it. Damn it, Sara had probably only rubbed her wrists as a reflex, without thinking about it.  Now Sofia felt guilty and couldn’t stop thinking about it.         
“You should move the knife, the bread won’t jump on it and cut itself.”  Sara turned around.  
“I really didn’t want to hurt you, Sara. I’m so sorry.”          
Surprise came into Sara’s eyes. “Sofia, you didn’t hurt me. I just rubbed my wrists as a reflex. As you do when you have a bracelet on and take it off. You really didn’t hurt me, stop worrying about it.”           
“Promise?” If she couldn’t see the concern in Sofia’s eyes, if she couldn’t hear the sadness in her voice, Sara would have laughed. There was no reason to be concerned or sad about it.
“I promise. I mocked you, you warned me, I didn’t stop, you did what you told me would happen, and that’s it. No big deal, we’re both adults, we both know it was only a joke, we’re both not hurt.”  “Okay.” Sofia finally said, after another few seconds of looking into Sara’s eyes.      
“And now cut the damn bread I’m starving.”    
“Yes, Ma’am.” Sofia smiled. Sara wasn’t hurt, she wasn’t angry, she was only hungry. What meant she felt the same as Sofia did.        
“So what is the hot and spicy news from Vegas?” Sara asked out of the blue.            
Sofia almost choked on her last piece of bread. Hot and spicy news?
“I said juicy news.”   
“Juicy, hot and spicy, it’s all the same. It’s gossip.” Sara had stretched out on her bed, the empty bowl next to her on the carpet, eyes closed, with a light smile on her lips. Sofia couldn’t remember ever having seen the brunette that relaxed. There had always been something about Sara Sidle that made it clear she wasn’t ever entirely relaxed; she was hunted by something or someone nobody else than she could feel or see. Now she was simply laying on her bed, a picture of a happy woman.              
“It’s about a couple. You’re free to guess.” Sofia could make this funnier and more interesting for herself too.  
“Ecklie and Hodges.”          
“Please! I had dinner a few seconds ago.” Sofia grimaced. That was a thought that would have never entered her mind. Sara is a strange woman.             
“Would be funny.” 
“I’m not sure for whom I’d feel sorry for in this case.”
“Hodges is only narcissistic, Ecklie is…well we both know him well enough.”           
“He’s happy when nobody else around him is happy.”
“Sometimes it seems so, yes.”             
“Do I have at least one person right?”    
“No.”   
“Greg found his love for Wendy and moved back to the lab to be with her.”             
“I don’t think he’s over the big crush he had on you.”     
“Shut up.” Sara threw a pillow at Sofia. There had never been anything between her and Greg. She knew about Greg’s crush, but he was long over that. He was a little brother to Sara, no more, no less.      
”You’re still without any hits, Sidle. For an investigator that’s a poor show. No wonder they made you supervisor, you lost your sense for investigations.” 
“Careful, Gossip Lieutenant.”      
“Lieutenant is the important thing, I don’t care about what kind of lieutenant I am.”     
“The best, I guess. So tell me about this couple. Share your knowledge, tell me what you…uh…detected.”
Sofia laughed. Oh how she liked the new Sara. “Catherine and…” 
“Catherine and...?”            
“Nick.”            
“She’s his supervisor.”      
Sofia just looked at Sara and Sara shut up. Yes, she knew, she wasn’t supposed to say anything about that. She and Grissom had their relationship for over two years and he was her supervisor. This was the best chance to ask Sara about her relationship to Grissom, but she knew, Sara wouldn’t like the question and she wouldn’t answer it.  So Sofia saved this question and just grinned.      
“He moved to dayshift.”           
“I’ve always thought there was something between Cath and Warrick, but then he got married.”
“I guess there was a tension between Cath and both guys.  Well, it’s Cath, she always attracts men and she knows it.”         
“So do you. I saw more than one suspect trying to flirt with you.  That never happened to Brass.”
 “Maybe because most of time we had guys in custody and they’re more likely to flirt with a woman than with a guy.”       
“So, Nick and Cath. Oh well, Lindsey will be happy with her decision. I hope they’ll be happy together.”          
“Attention, private question,” Sofia said,  smiling. “You can answer it with yes or no, no need to give me an explanation. Do you think you will ever go back to Vegas?”            
Sara laughed. Sofia felt a big rush of relief. Sara wouldn’t bury herself in a silent answer. Maybe if Sofia announced more private questions with a teasing tone and as a private question Sara wouldn’t have to answer with an explanation and Sofia would get some answers. 
“For work no, as a holiday spot yes. And yes, I wouldn’t mind a lunch with our old colleagues, as long it doesn’t include Ecklie.”             
“You know I’m Ecklie’s girl, it wouldn’t be a complete dinner for me without him,” Sofia said. Sara’s left eye popped open. She turned her head and looked at Sofia.   
“You got called Ecklie’s girl but all you did was try to do your best. You were as mad at him as we were.” That was the first time Sara offered her feelings and her point of view on their past.  It was not Sara’s past, at least not as much as it was Sofia’s.  
“Nobody told me that years ago.”    
“Everybody was too busy being pissed off at Ecklie and then you left.”    
“I never wanted to be a CSI, I wanted to be a detective.”
“You were a good CSI, just like you are a good detective and you’ll be a good lieutenant. And one day you’ll be a good captain.”   
“Thank you, Sara.” Sofia knew Sara meant it exactly how she said it. It wasn’t a cheap comfort, even when the detective would take that at this moment too. For the rest of the week she would need and take all support she could get. 
                                                                

Thursday, 12th of July

"Good morning." A little smile appeared on Sara's face when Sofia opened her door for her.
"Good morning, sleeping beauty." The detective had a big grin on her face. "You look rested now."
"I am, thanks. And sorry for yesterday." Sara and Sofia had watched a movie and at one point Sara felt asleep to find out when she woke up, hours later, Sofia was gone and left a note for her.
You fell asleep, I didn't wanna wake you up so I took your room key to lock your door when I'm gone. Sleep tight, she you in the morning.
PS: Yes I set your alarm clock, just to make sure you'll be awake.
Sofia
"Hey, I fell asleep too. The difference was, I woke up before you did so I figured out, I can sleep better in my bed but I didn't want to leave your door open while you're sleeping that's why I took your key, so that I could look up behind myself. I knew we get up at the same time, so it is no problem for you to get your key back."
"You covered me up."
"Sure I didn't wanna risk a cold. Didn't know it's warm today."
"It is, thanks God for that. I love waking up with sunshine."
"So do I." Sofia gave Sara her key.
"Thanks. If that ever happen again, you can just leave the door open. Nobody will steal me."
"I won't risk that. I'm a detective, I've to take care of my CSIs." Sofia smiled. There was no way you would left Sara's door open when Sara was asleep. This seems to be a quiet place but she wouldn't risk anything.
"I'm not your CSI anymore."
"You always have, you always will." A little bit of sorrow came to the blonde's eyes. "I left you down once, that will never happen again."
"When did you leave me down?"
"The night in the desert."
"Sofia, it wasn't your fault."
"I didn't take care of you."
"I was on my way home, it's not your job to babysit me. Nobody knew Natalie would come after me. It's not your fault."
"I'm…"
"No." Sara turned around and stopped before she reached the door. "It wasn't your fault."
"Don't run away. Please." Why had she started this discussion? She would lose everything she and Sara had built up the last days. Why didn’t she think first before she talked? Getting Sara back to the worst hours of her life wasn’t something, that made their relationship better.
Sara turned around, her face was blank. "You have to go, otherwise you'll be late for your test."
"There are some things life more important than a test. You are more important."
Sara stopped whatever she was doing. She even stopped breathing.
Sofia did the same. What had she done? Did she blew it now completely? How could she tell Sara that she's more important than a test? Not that it wasn't true but Sofia wasn't supposed to say that. She was in no position to say that. What was wrong with her this morning? Was her brain out of order or why did she say all these stupid things? Well, not stupid, but she wasn’t in the position to say things like that. It wasn’t like she and Sara had been friends for years.
"If I have to choose between you and a test, I'd pick you. I can always repeat a test, it's a thing. You're a human, I can't repeat anything that happen to you and make it undone in this way. What happened once happened forever. We can't take it back, can't make it undone. There are more important things in life than a test." Sofia hoped she had found the right words. How else could she explain to Sara what she meant?
"I know, there are. But there's no need to talk about the past if you can't change anything. It would be stupid to present and future complicated only to talk about a thing from the past, nobody can change. Go and pass your test, lieutenant."
"I’ll bring dinner?" It was more a question of, if Sara still wanted to have dinner with Sofia or if she preferred to stay alone after Sofia blew their time.
"You better do. Otherwise you'll be in trouble with a supervisor." Sara smiled.
"Any wishes?"
"Surprise me, you did very well on Tuesday with that."
"Okay."
Sara left the room.
Just before she closed the door completely, Sofia said: "I didn't want to say anything that might upset you."
"You didn't. We can talk about this later, but your test is really more important than this. Go and make me proud. I wanna have dinner with a lieutenant tonight."
"I'll do my best, supervisor."
"Your best will be more than enough." Finally Sara closed the door, leaving Sofia for a few seconds unable to move in her room. She almost blew it. Why had she started to talk about the night in the desert? Why? She knew in her head it wasn't her fault that Sara had ended up as Natalie's victim. But she had felt guilty. For so long.
The only good thing about mention this night to Sara today was that Sara didn't act Sofia was afraid she would. Okay, she refused to talk about it, but she was right, Sofia had to leave to her tests and so had Sara to her seminar. It was stupid to talk about something in the past of you effected your presents and future in a negative way this way. She should get her head straight and do, what Sara asked her to do: Passing the test and making her proud.
Why would Sara Sidle be proud when Sofia became a lieutenant?

"Dinner is on it's way" was the first thing Sofia called when she left her car and started to climb up the stairs to Sara. The sunshine was still there, the brunette was sitting on her chair, enjoying the sun and watching carefully every move the blonde made.
"What's my surprise?"
"If I'd tell you it wouldn't be a surprise, Honey." Happy with the world and herself Sofia dropped on the empty chair next to Sara.
"Honey?"
"Love?"
"Did you get too much heat on your way back?" Sara's voice was amused.
"Unfortunately I don't own a Mustang for a lovely open air drive on the beach, all the sun that hit my head came through the window. Blame it on the day."
"Are you a lieutenant now?"
"I hope so." Sofia sighed. "I did all my tests, now it's in the hands of whoever. Tomorrow I'll know if I'm a lieutenant or still a detective."
"In which case you can go on and detect."
"You like saying that to me, don't you?"
"Yes." Sara smiled.
"You like teasing me."
"I think that's a thing we've got in common. You were mocking me a few times the last days."
"What goes around comes around. I take a shower, Sweety. You know where to find me if you miss me." Without looking back to Sara Sofia entered her room, laughing, giggling, happy with a Sara, who looked relaxed and in a good mood. There wasn’t a bad feeling, nothing of the tensions she had felt in the morning, when she started to talk about Sara’s night in the desert.
She threw her clothes in a corner, stepped in the shower and cursed when the cold water hit her head. Why must water be so damn cold? It was for hours in pipes, it should be warm. It was over seventy-seven degrees outside, the bloody water must be warm.
In shorts and a tank shirt she came back out to Sara.
"Sorry, I didn't miss you enough to visit you under the shower."
"By saying you didn't miss me enough for a visit under the shower you say at the same time, you missed me. No, I don't need an answer", stopped Sofia Sara from saying something. "I gonna leave it like this in the room. Don't destroy my pink world."
"Did you take any drugs?" Sara observed Sofia and crooked her head. The detective acted like a squirrel on ecstasy.
"Too much coffee, I guess. Sorry, I'll be calm down after dinner; I hope."
"I'd offer you a beer but it seems like the one who was supposed to organize the dinner forgot to bring beer."
"Will be here with the food. Hot and ice cold delivery service, I really liked that one."
"What did you order?"
"Chinese."
"Good."
"And I should have…" Sofia jumped on her feet and vanished in her room.
Sara shook her head. Hopefully that was only a reaction of the stress, the detective lost today with her last tests. If it wouldn't be Sofia and wouldn't Sara know her for years, Sofia could scare her. On the other hand side, how well did she know Sofia? Only because they worked together for two years that doesn't mean Sara really knew Sofia.
"Cold beer. The last one." Sofia came with a bottle of beer back to Sara and offered her the bottle.
"You need the alcohol, I'm fine."
"I'm a good girl, I share. How was your day?"
"Interesting. We leant how to lead a team."
"Really?" Sofia laughed. "I thought you were all supervisors, you guys should know."
"You think Ecklies does a good job?"
"No! So this day was dedicated to all Ecklies in the world? Fair enough."
"It was interesting to listen, I might use the one or other tip."
"I'm sure you're a good supervisor. Maybe you should go to Vegas and show Ecklie how to do his job proper."
"He'll kick me out before I'm in the building."
"Anybody trying to assault my CSI will be restrained by me."
"I'm still not your CSI anymore."
"We had this topic this morning, you'll always be my CSI. Accept it."
"Looks like I've no other choice."
"That's a good girl." Sofia smirked and got up. There was a delivery car coming.
"Need a hand with all these things?"
"If I need a hero I'll call out for you."
"Sofia?"
"Yeah?"
Sara had problems to stay serious. "You know, you're practical naked and about to go down to a strange guy?"
"I thought you would never realize that. Let's see if I can get us some goodies for free." Sofia raised her eyebrows and put a huge smile on her face. A minute later she came back up with a box of beer and a bag full of boxes.
"You got any discount for being naked?"
"I've got a telephone number and a box of fortunate cookies for free. How good is that?"
"Depends on what the cookies say."
"Eat me."
"Sure they do." Sara took the bag with the food while Sofia got two bottles of beer out for them and brought the rest in her fridge.
"I forgot the ice cream." Sofia looked unhappy to Sara.
"We'll survive."
"Ice cream. With chocolate sprinkles. Irish Cream." Sofia's eyes turned into sad puppy eyes. How could she forget ice cream?
"Did you know that ice cream was made first by the Chinese? Around 2000 BC."
"Only a true scientist can turn ice cream into a lesson."
"Sorry I thought an ice cream fanatic like you would appreciate the information."
"I do. Oh, by the way: all the food is pure vegetarian, you can eat everything, don't worry what's inside."
"I hope you had a burger for lunch, otherwise it will be your second day in a row without meat."
"That's alright, I'll go to my favorite steak house when I'm back on duty. You tried this?" Sofia hold a piece of food up.
"What is it?" Sara's eyes tried to find a description for the small piece of food. A half flat circle? Filled with…what?
"It's a dumpling. Like…a mini pancake filled with…well in this case leek and tofu. I guess we have to dip it into one of the sauces and eat it." She dipped the dumpling in soy sauce and offered it to Sara. Slightly skeptical Sara took a bite.
"And?"
"Tastes good. If you can buy it in a supermarket, it would be a great snack."
"I guess you can get them in an Asian supermarket."
"That's a challenge for Fresno." Sara smiled. "By the way I told the girl at reception, we want to stay until Sunday. I hope that's alright with you."
"Perfect. I don't want to pack all my stuff, leave her on Saturday, experience surfing, get a million bruises and then drive back home for a couple of hours in the night. Sunday is perfect."
"Good. I thought the same – except for the bruise part."
"You'll be tired after a day of teaching."
"How good that Saturday is your dinner day, I don't have to worry about anything."
"And I think I gonna treat us nice with a dinner at the ocean. Venice maybe."
"I think I like your dinner ideas."
"Good."
"Oh, and I've got something for you." Sara reached under her chair and handed a little parcel to Sofia. It was very light, very slim. Her first impression was, it's a dvd, but it was too soft. A book?"
"What is it?"
"You're allowed to open it later."
"Why later?"
"Just trust me."
"I do trust you." Sofia found Sara's eyes and found herself fascinated by her deep brown eyes. Whatever was in the parcel, it was something Sara took serious, a part of herself, a part, she was willing to share with Sofia. Don't ask private question and you might get all the answers, of the questions you forced yourself not to ask, voluntarily.
"And if you really want, we can go on with our conversation of the morning. Now that you passed your test and we've got time."
"Sara, we don't have to talk about it. As you said, it's the past, we can't change it. No matter what we say."
"It seemed to be important to you."
"I don't want to ruin our time."
"Don't you think we would ruin it when we leave it in between us?" Why had this woman to be so damn smart? Why did she always know what to say to turn Sofia's world upside down? Why was she so different from all the other people Sofia ever met? And why was she always right?
"Whatever I felt at that night it was nothing compare to what you felt. You were the one under the car, I was safe."
"I thought I'd die."
"We were afraid you would. None of Natalie's victims had survived. On the other hand, you are somebody special."
"I survived a few hard times, that kept me strong. I knew, I handled bad situations, I knew, I survived them and I wouldn't give up without fighting." Sara faced the sun, without looking at Sofia. She ignored the rest of the food, her beer, simply looking in the sun.
"My arm was stuck under the car, I couldn't get free. The rain made the water under car rose, I was afraid I drown. The only thing I could do was waiting for you guys, I knew, you would do everything to get me out of this situation. And…can you remember the case with Lady Heather's daughter?"
Sara never looked to Sofia when she nodded.
"She bit her hand of the escape her tormentor. I thought if I've got no other choice I've to do the same with my arm. No matter how painful it would be, it sounded better than dying." Sara stopped, remembering the time under the car, the fear, the rain, water rising. She could feel how her arm went numb, how the pain in the rest of her body changed into agony. She could feel how her pulse rose, how her breath became faster because of the lack of oxygen.
"Sara." Sofia's voice got softly in Sara's consciousness. She had to bring the brunette back into the present, out of the past.
Sara found Sofia's hand on hers, stopping it from trembling. For a short second Sara wanted to pull her hand away, lose Sofia's hand and so her touch, but she left her hand where it was, felt the soft pressure and relaxed to Sofia's relief. Sara was back and she had herself under control again.
"I managed to get out of the car, the rain stopped and my short happiness of freedom turned into desperation, because I had no idea where I was. I didn't know in which way I should go, I didn't know how far you guys were. So I started to walk, tried to keep myself going, walked probably in circles but I managed to leave traces for you to find me. Until I finally collapsed. There was no power left in me, I knew, I had to believe in you guys, had to trust you with my life. And that's the part I meant this morning, when I said, you never left me down, Sofia. You guys found me, you rescued me, I'm alive, I recovered completely. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. You found me, you saved me."
"I wish it had never come so far."
"Your job isn't prevention, your job is to act."
"Detect."
"You detected me, detective."
"It was one of my best moments in my life."
"I wish I could say the same, I was happy, no question in that, but it wasn't a good moment."
"I understand." Sofia took her hand away from Saras. The investigator was settled again, there was no need to spend support.
"And I felt you and Nick around me, it gave me strength to hold on until the paramedics where there."
"We couldn't do much, giving you a light shower with water, telling you, we were there, help was on it's way, but we did all we could."
Sara turned around and smiled. It was a winning smile. "See, I told you, you didn't let me down." Her eyes weren't dark and lost anymore, Sofia could see a little spark of tease in them. Sara knew, she had made the point. More than that, Sofia could feel how the guilt, that was in her subconscious the whole time, was vanished.
"You're good, Sara."
"I know."
Now it was Sofia who had a winning smile on her face. "See, I told you, you are good with people. There's your proof."
Sara started laughing. It was a light, happy laughter.
"We're two of a kind. At least we both know more about ourselves now. Would you like me to get you another beer?"
"I guess we deserve one."
"We do. And some candy."
"I could get used to spend my evenings with you, good food, a cold beer, candy and decent conversations."
"Decent conversations? How are your ordinary conversations?"
"In San Jose? Most of the conversations after work are in a cop bar, you can imagine the topics there. Maybe I should join a book club."
"I didn't know reading books is one of the strengths of a detective." Sara stepped back just in case Sofia would try to get her for this comment but the detective saw no reason for this lame comment to move her body.
"We read a whole book for young adults for the tests this week. They expect us to read books for fifteen year old children, when I want to make captain I've to be able to read a book for housewives. You know, some of this heart breaking slimy stuff."
"Sounds very difficult."
"It will be for me. Maybe I try to improve my reading skills with comics."
"The good cop, the hero of the city."
"Nah, that's already my reality."
"Sure it is."
"Go and get me a beer, woman."
Sara raised an eye brown. Sofia's smile was thin and full of mock.
"I can see you spend too much time with male cops." Sara went into Sofia's room and got them two bottles of beer. She didn't have to ask where the candy was, it was all over her kitchen. Sara simply grabbed a bag and went out again. Without a word she dropped the candy bag into Sofia's lap and put the beer on their table chair.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Sara, have you ever been to San Jose?"
"Years ago, yes. Why?"
"If you want to improve my standard you should come along every now and then so that I don't have to spend my time with cops."
"You could make some non cop friends."
"And how many friends outside the department do you have?" It was the second time that Sofia asked her this question, but this time there was no bitterness in her voice like at the first time. The Bell shooting. Sofia was so desperate, she thought, she might have killed Officer Bell. She made the mistake and went to Grissom, who was interfering the case at that time. She wasn't supposed to be in the building, she was even less supposed to talk to Grissom and Sara made that very clear at that point.
"You asked me this question already once."
"I know and I'm sorry for that tone then."
"No need to apologize." Sara's voice was soft.
"It was...I was so down. The thought I might have shot a fellow Officer, I might have killed a young father, that was...too much. I had no idea where to go, I had no idea what to do, whom to talk to. And...Grissom was...seemed to be the best person to talk to. I know, it was wrong, he was one of the last person I should have talked to but I felt...I felt he would maybe understand me, he might know how I could comfort myself, what to do. I know it was a mistake, I put him and myself in danger, the whole department."
Now it was Sara's hand laying on Sofias.
"You didn't kill him. Don't bring yourself back to that place." Sara's voice was soft and at the same time it showed a danger not to not obey her.
"I know I...stop it. Now."
"Good." Sara left her hand for another second on Sofia's hand before she took it back. "And to answer your question, I'm in a sport club, Sara Sidle the supervisor has a private life. I don't collect overtime like other people stamps, I really try to leave the office when I'm done with my work and I take my holidays."
"Wow."
"I've learnt from Vegas and I consider myself as a at least half intelligent human being and I try to learn from my mistakes. My body and my mind are very thankful for that."
"I bet they are. No more night shifts, no more overtime, sport, if you wouldn't sit next to me, I wouldn't recognize you."
"You want to tell me you haven't change?"
"Not much. Work is still my most important thing, especially the last couple of weeks, looking forward to this week. If I made it I might relax a little bit more until the new job as a lieutenant will eat me."
"Maybe I should contact a book club for you, you will forget that as soon as you're back in San Jose."
"Probably." Sofia laughed. She couldn't imagine herself in a book club. "Maybe reading is my favorite past time. At least not if I have to do it in a group. I prefer to read on my sofa, on a rainy Sunday and fall asleep whenever I want."
"Sounds good to me too."
"Better than catching a wave?"
"Depends on the weather. On the perfect sunny day, you go out, catch a wave. Come back, have a rest, read and go out for the next wave again. There's no reason not to put these two things together."
"My anticipation for Saturday is growing. I think it will be a great day."
"The weather is supposed to be good, we will catch a few little waves, try not to break your bones and you buy my dinner."
"I won't forget that, don't worry."
"You better do not forget it." Sara grinned.

In bed Sofia's thoughts went back to her tests. In a few hours she would know if she had made it to lieutenant or not. In her mind, she knew, she passed the test. It wasn't like she was new to all those things, they ran her through. If she had wanted it, she could have done this test years ago. But after she left Vegas, she needed some time out, some quiet time and that included, no extra stress on the job. She made herself a home in San Jose, made some friends in the department and enjoyed living a good life as a detective. Why rushing? Many of her colleagues stayed officer or detective for all their life.
Okay, since her mother was a captain, there was some kind of family pressure on her. Becoming a lieutenant was another step of the long path of pleasing her mother. But she did this step because she wanted it. She had waited so long until she felt, she was ready for the next step. And she didn't regret it. She would be a good lieutenant and one day, she would be a good captain, just as Sara had said.
Sara. Somehow Sofia was growing with every evening more amazed. Sara had talked to her about the kidnapping. She had volunteered to tell Sofia how she felt, what was on her mind, how scared she was. And that she knew, Sofia and the other guys were on their way, that she trusted them to save her life. She had felt that Sofia was there, when she and Nick found Sara.
And she gave Sara an inside view of her feelings after the Bell shooting. Not as deep as Sara did with her story, but Sofia had never feared for her life. Or did she? If she had been the one who killed Bell, how was she supposed to live her life? She doubted she would have been able to go on with her life, she might have left the police force. Killing an innocent person, killing a colleague, could make forgetting your plans. It could end your life just as you ended the life of somebody.
She wondered if Sara didn't give her a real answer about her visiting San Jose on purpose or if she lost that in their conversation and slightly teasing jokes. Sofia could imagine to spend an evening with Sara in San Jose every now and then or going to Fresno and met her there. Hell, it was summer, she could even imagine to go out for a hiking with the investigator. They both liked hiking, there were plenty of state forest around Fresno, nor weren't the big national parks that far away either.
How come that she started to think about spending more time with Sara Sidle? That never occurred her mind in Las Vegas. Maybe they had changed and were now on a level, where they could enjoy each others company.

Friday, 13th of July

"What do you think?" Sofia stepped out of the cabin in her maybe new bikini.
Sara, who had made her decision for a swim suit within five minutes was sitting on a chair, drinking ice tea and looked at the new lieutenant.
"Wear that and all guys will love you."
"Really?" She looked down at her black bikini with white stripes.
"Yes. First the white part will become transparent, they'll enjoy that and then a wave will rip off your top and they'll love that even more."
"I thought it looks sexy."
"Do you want to go surfing or getting laid?"
"With the right person both would be nice."
"Make a decision what's more important and buy your clothes for this decision."
"Swim suit?"
"Or you have to buy a wet suit too, what costs a lot of more and you won't get any taint the whole day."
"Swim suit it is." Sofia walked back in the cabin.
Sara stood up and walked to the shelves with the swimsuits. She picked up a few and handled them to Sofia.
"Thanks."
"I picked the black stuff, your color."
"Yes, black is beautiful."
"Indeed."
Sofia came out in a total black swim suit in a modern design.
"And?"
"Black, beautiful, sexy, perfect for surfing."
"And what do you think about the swim suit?"
Sara rolled her eyes and walked without another word back to her chair. It took Sofia another five minutes until she was really sure, she wanted that swim suit and paid for it. There was a huge mental note in Sara's mind, never go shopping again with a woman.
"What are we doing now? Testing our new eye-catcher? We are on the beach, we could change and have a swim."
"We have no towels."
"Oh well, there's a shop, we'll find one or two stylish and…"
"I won't go in any shop with you anymore! Never! You are a nightmare. I might pop into a supermarket with you, that's it. Nothing with clothes or beach stuff."
"There's the old Sara."
"The old Sara would have left you after ten minutes. It's still the patient new Sara, but you're stretching her good mood and her patient."
"In that case I'd say we'll go straight to that little café and have a coffee. I buy. We look at the beach, we enjoy the sun and you pick out a place for dinner."
"Better." Sara grumbled. There was no way she'd join Sofia for any kind of shopping anymore. The blonde had used all her patience for today.
They went to the little café and ordered two big coffees.
"So, lieutenant, how do you feel? Being a lieutenant."
"Absolutely great. I'd hug the whole world, had that in mind with you but won't stretch your patience and mood after the shopping." Sofia grinned. "Instead I'll celebrate with a coffee, a dinner and you on the beach. Maybe we can get some beer for later, I mean, we can sleep in tomorrow, there's no need to get up early."
"You start to sound nicer to me."
"I'll get us some cake or what would you like as a dessert?"
"A fruity cocktail."
"We can't drink we have to drive."
"They are available without any alcohol."
"Oh, right. We can have them. And I'll order breakfast for us tomorrow morning and Sunday, nobody should make breakfast on a free weekend"
"I almost like you again."
"Again means, you liked me before, what is more than I expected." Sofia laughed.
"I don't spend five days in a row with somebody I can't stand." Sara rolled her eyes again.
"Do you regret it?"
"I did when you were shopping."
"Oh come on, it's fun trying all these things."
"It's a waste of time. You'll need it for a few hours, it's not like you're going on a beach vacation."
"If I would, I'd take you with me. As a private surf teacher."
"Believe me, you can't afford me."
"With my new money now…yeah, you're right, it's still nothing. I have to wait for your generosity."
"You got tomorrow. If you've got talent and if you won't be an annoying smug I might think about to give you a second lesson. San Jose has surf beaches too."
"So you'll come over and visit me?"
"Maybe."
The waitress brought them their coffees. Sofia took a sip.
"I'm serious, Sara." Sofia's voice had changed from the cheeky, mocking tone to a serious one. "I'd be happy if you'd come over and visit me. I really enjoyed this week, honestly if anybody would have told me last week, we'd spend a together like this, I'd have laughed my head off. We both know, we weren't exactly friends in Vegas, we both didn't spend any time together but it was nice; still is. And I hope, beside my little shopping craziness, you enjoyed it too."
"I did. But I won't go shopping with you anymore."
"I promise, when you come over all my shopping will be in my apartment, you won't have to set a foot in any shop."
"Under these circumstances I think I can come over for a visit."
"Maybe next week, when I'm in hospital with a broken arm from surfing."
"I'm the surf instructor, I won't let anything happen to my student."
"Do you use a phrase of me?"
"I want to let you know how it feels when somebody says that."
"Feels good, feels like somebody cares for me, feels like somebody thinks I'm important. You're welcome to say it more often."
"You don't need a protector."
"Not?"
"If you do, a minute with your sexy new dress on the beach and a million guys will be crawling at your feet, begging you to let them your hero."
"A hero doesn't beg and crawls."
"For a lady they do."
"I'm not a lady, I'm a lieutenant."
"In that case you don't need a hero, you can kick any ass yourself."
"That's a thing I was already good at when I was a detective."
"When you kick like you use your cuffs, you're good."
"Well, my cuffs and me, that's a special relationship."
"I think, I don't need any details."
"I don't think I want to tell you some. Not here, not now. I'm not drunk enough."
"Mental note to myself: not more than one six pack of beer."
Sofia started laughing. She didn't want to tell any secrets to Sara that involved her cuffs. She doubted that would ever be a topic in their conversation…not more than it was just right now.

Saturday, 14th of July

It was the feeling of freedom, of being the queen of the world or at least of the ocean. Laying on the belly on the surfboard, feet and hands in the water, keeping the position, looking for the best wave to catch. Some small ones past by, they weren’t worth the effort, Sofia was waiting for the perfect wave, the big one, that could make her an icon of the surf world. She wanted a big wave, at least six feet that would make her surf smooth to the beach where the good looking guy was waiting for her.
A look over her shoulder told her a new wave was building up. She could see how it got bigger and bigger and she knew instantly this wave would break exactly where she wanted it to break. She got in position, checked a last time her surroundings and her shades. Then she started to paddle, feeling the power of the water around her hands, felt how the wave got her, ready to fight her, ready to kill her, to pull her under water but Sofia knew she would win. This was her fight and she would end up winning.
She was caught in the water now, paddled a few times more and then got up. There she was. Standing up, proud and in full control of her board and the wave. Smooth and elegant like a snake in the water, she surfed through the wave, she didn’t have to turn to know it was breaking behind her, she was in a tunnel, building up more and more speed. It was her and the wave and her opponent tried everything to get her in the water, to break each of her bones and let her drown.
With a wide smile on her face she left the tunnel and rode the wave down until she arrived on the beach. She was still standing straight when her board hit the sand and offered her a dry way to the beach. Elegant she bent down, took her board and walked to the tall, good looking man, who was waiting for her. He smiled, his face full with respect and reverence, took her board for her and said:
“Sofia, you’re drooling.”
One moment. That didn’t fit in her dream, that was the wrong line. He was supposed to say something like, she was amazing, he adored her or if there was anything he could do for her, that he was her servant. And his voice didn’t fit to the way he looked, it sounded somehow female.
“What?” Maybe she had sand and water in her ears, this couldn’t end like this. This was the perfect wave, the perfect day, it wasn’t suppose to end like this.
“You’re drooling.”
Sofia opened her eyes. Immediately her tall beach boy disappeared and Sara appeared. What was Sara doing here? And why was Sofia on a towel instead of a board? Something was wrong here, very wrong.
“I was…the huge wave…it was at least ten feet and I rode it.”
“Sure.” Sara chuckled. The blonde had been caught in a dream. A dream that was far away from reality.
“Yes…don’t tell me it was a dream, I was so great and this guy…” Sofia stopped when Sara started to laugh.
“It could have been real.”
“Yes.”
“You’re not nice, you’re laughing about me.”
“Well I’m sure you were a great Kelly Slater, the female version. In your dream.” The reality was slightly different. So far Sofia hadn’t managed to stand up on her board. She caught a few waves, she rode them a few yards but all she could do was laying on the board. Every time she had tried to get up, she ended straight in the water or worse, she hit herself on the board before she fell into the water.
Sara, on the other hand, had rode a few waves and seemed to have no problems with standing on a board. The only comfort Sofia had was that at least half a dozen men had offered their help and were more than willing to give her some private lessons. Surfing was maybe not the sport she was best in, but it gave her the opportunity get in contact with a lot of very good looking men and that was a good reason to give the surf board another try.
“Do you think I’m hopeless?”
“No.”
“Is there some talent in me?”
“Sofia, you try to surf for the first time, I didn’t expect you to ride the wave like a pro does. Did you ever stand on a board? Without a wave under you that tries to make you fall?”
“No.”
“See. You need to get a feeling for the board, the waves.”
“Do you want to tell me we shouldn’t try it again?”
“We’ll try it again. I try to tell you that you shouldn’t expect too much. The waves are quite big today, it would be easier to start when the ocean is calmer.”
“I don’t do easy things, I like challenges.”
“And bruises.”
“These two or three.”
“Or five.”
“Who counts?”
“Maybe the good looking guy who was waiting for you.”
“No, his eyes were fixed on…my eyes.” Sofia grinned. “He was too busy adoring me on the board. I rode the wave right to the beach, all I had to do was step down in the warm, dry sand and…you’re laughing again. You’re making fun of me.”
“No.”
“You do.”
“You’ll ride a wave to the beach one day. Not ten feet but you’ll reach the beach, standing on your board and – well I can’t promise you a guy who adores you. But as far as I know you had a few guys already ready to adore you.”
“They want to give me some private lessons. Unfortunately they’re all from Los Angeles, I need to find somebody in San Jose. I’ll write a surfboard on my shopping list; and a wet suit.” Maybe she got less bruises when she wore a wet suit.
“Do you want to surf because you like to surf or because you like the attention of the men around you?”
“Do I have to pick one? Can’t I take both?”
“You can.”
“Both.”
“Thought so.”
“Not everybody ignores them or tells them to bugger off.”
“I didn’t tell them to bugger off.”
“You weren’t that nice either.”
“He didn’t deserve anything else.” Sara rolled her eyes. She had told a man to leave her alone, who tried too hard to get her attention. Only because they were on the beach without men it didn’t mean they were looking for some. She didn’t mind a nice conversation but the eyes of the other were more below her own eyes, she doubted he really wanted to talk.
“Do I have enough talent to get another lesson?”
“I thought you want one of the guys as your instructor.”
“No, I prefer you. I need some basic skills, somebody who makes sure I do the right things and not somebody who makes sure I look good on the board. Not that this isn’t important but I look better when I know what I’m doing and when I’m able to stand on my board I’d like you to take a photo of me.”
“I can take a photo of you already.”
“On the belly? That’s boring.”
“Lieutenant…”
“Aw, that sounds so good…sorry, please go on.”
“Nutcase. What I wanted to say was, we can take a photo of you standing on the board down at the water. We take another photo of the ocean, cut you and the board out of the first one and copy that in the second photo. Then it will look like you’re surfing a wave.”
“When you take this photo of me from far, far away, so I’ll be a tiny spot, we can cope me into a huge wave and it will look like…”
“You faked the photo, you’re a show-off and too stupid to surf.”
“Thanks.”
“Try to keep this a little bit more real, Sofia. Nobody will believe you rode a six foot wave when you have your first lesson.”
“There’s no need to tell people it’s the first lesson, I could be a surfer since I’m a child.”
“Sure, that’s why you never mentioned it.”
“You’re not making me happy, Sara.”
“I try to save you. You’ll embarrass yourself with a photo in a six feet wave.”
“Alright, no huge wave. Take a photo of me laying on the board. I don’t like faking anyway.”
“Do you need to fake often?”
“How do you mean that?” Sofia grinned.
“Fake evidence, fake statements…”
“I know you didn’t mean it that way, Miss Sidle.” Sofia smirked. She had no problem to tell Sara what she was really asking for, but why make it easy for the brunette when she was teasing her? And she doubt Sara expected really an answer.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t understand what you were suggesting and take my board for another try. Do you want to join me?”
“Yes, I’m ready for some fun.” Sara grinned. She was ready to see how many guys offered their help this time. And if the blonde concentrated more on the guys or her board.

“I think I can’t drive home tomorrow.” Sofia whined. She laid on her bed and tried not to move any limb.
“Why is that?” Sara smirked. She could see the pain the blonde had and had to admit that she kind of enjoyed it. That was the price Sofia had to pay for her two hours extra surf lessons with a man who offered her the instruction. Sara had sat on the beach with her book and watched her friend surfing.
Friend? Could she call Sofia a friend? After one week of living next door to the blonde, six evenings together and no fights they had the best relationship of all the time they knew each other. But were they friends? If they could keep this good relationship they had built in this one week and keep it through the next weeks and over the distance between San Jose and Fresno, Sara could imagine she and Sofia became friends.
“You know exactly why.”
“Because you couldn’t stop yourself from flirting with this guy who was really disappointed when you didn’t join him after the surf lesson. It was all over his face what plans he had with you.”
“At one point in the water it was also very visible in his shorts what he had in mind. I wonder if I look so cheap, but I won’t ask you that because I’m afraid I’ll get an honest answer and I can’t handle meanness right now.”
“You don’t look cheap, you’re blond.”
“I said don’t answer the question.”
“It’s rude not to answer a question.”
“You never cared if you were rude years ago.” Parts of the old Sara weren’t that bad, now that Sofia thought about it.
“I changed, the new Sara cares.”
“So why did you answer so mean?”
“I answered honest.”
“The next time when you know or think I don’t like the answer, lie to me. That’s okay, I prefer a nice lie than an ugly truth.”
“Don’t say that to your suspects, lieutenant.”
“I won’t.”
“Where do you have sore muscles?”
“My tongue is alright, all the others are sore. At least it feels like that. That means I can’t do anything else than eating. You’ve to feed me with ice cream. This way I don’t have to chew and get all the calcium I need.”
“I could cook a milk soup.” Sara offered with a sweet smile.
“You want me to have an upset stomach too?”
“I want you to get well soon so you can drive home tomorrow and don’t have to ask for sick-leave the first day you’re a lieutenant.”
“I need a hot bath and alcohol. That will relax my muscles.”
“You had a hot shower and I doubt your beer will help you.”
“Instead of talking everything bad and being mean you should help me. And why don’t you have sore muscles?”
“I didn’t overdo it with a guy.”
“I want to learn how to surf.”
“That’s why you should start slowly, take step by step and don’t be on the board for hours on your first day. If this guy had thought for a second with his brain and not that tiny thing in his shorts, he had told you the same.”
“How do you know it was tiny?”
“Guys like him? There’s no need to make a fuzz like he did if he wouldn’t be tiny.”
“Interesting theory, tell me more.” She used just enough mock to make it clear to Sara that she didn’t have to talk to Sofia about men and her experience with them. All Sofia wanted was to tease the other woman.
“No.”
“Spoilsport.”
Sara ignored the last comment. “Next time you know to stop after a while and give yourself a rest.”
“Will you be there next time?”
“It didn’t look like you needed me, you were busy with your new surf instructor.”
“I liked you more as an instructor. You told how to surf and not how you like me to look on a board.”
“I want to see you standing, riding a six feet wave.”
“So do I.” Sofia smiled. She turned a bit so that she faced Sara, who was sitting on the sofa, feet up. She had no bruises, no sore muscles but a soft sun complexion.
“What?” The brunette asked when Sofia didn’t say something after she looked at her for a few seconds. It was obvious to Sara Sofia wasn’t doing this to annoy her, the blonde was serious now.
“Thanks for the great day, I had a lot of fun and it wasn’t because of this guy, it was because of you. I hope we can repeat this day.”
“You’re welcome. Do you want to get your own board?”
“I think so. If I get a good instructor.”
“I told you I’m too expensive.”
“How much to do want?”
“More than you can pay.”
“Is it because you don’t want me as your student or is it because my pay as a lieutenant is so poor?”
“Do you still want this nice lie and no bad truth thing?” Sara grinned.
“You’re mean!”
“Cry me a river.”
“You think I can’t move? You’re wrong, Sara Sidle.” Sofia got up, tried to stand, needed a second try, make a little step and let herself fall on Sara, who was laughing at the lieutenant in pain.
“Ouch!”
“Payback FOR a bitch.” Sofia said and started to tickle Sara.
The brunette shifted her body to the left and Sofia fell down. Not willing to give Sara the satisfaction of winning, she grabbed the CSI and pulled her down so that both ended on the carpet.
“You are a crazy bitch.” Sara complained.
“You dared me, you deserve to fall.”
“I fell on you.” That was the only good thing about this crazy idea of Sofia. Sara fell softly. The extra pain was exactly what Sofia deserved.
“Yeah, your bones are sharp, eat a little bit more fatty stuff so you don’t hurt people that much.”
“People are not suppose to pull me on the ground.”
“As you just saw that can happen all the time.”
“Yeah.” Sara got up while Sofia sat and tried to figure out which way of getting back on her feet was the least painful one.
“Come on, blondie.” Sara offered Sofia her hand and pulled the blonde back on her feet. That was evidence enough for Sofia that Sara wasn’t mad at her.
“Thanks…ouch…pain…can you carry me back to the bed?”
“This one yard? Don’t be ridiculous and walk it.”
“My muscles…”
“You walk this yard and I get the mouse au chocolate out of the fridge.”
“A heroine can do it! That’s one small step for a woman, one giant leap for mankind.”
“Alright Neil, I knew you can do it.” Sara got the package with the mouse au chocolate and held it to Sofia who sat on the bed.
After a second of thinking the blonde took Sara’s wrist and pulled onto the bed, next to herself.
“What are you doing?” Sara’s first intention was to jump up and walk away. She could stop herself and stayed next to Sofia. There was no reason to run, there was no reason to get mad. The blonde had only pulled her down so that sat next to each other. She needed to trust Sofia a little bit, she had proved the whole week there was no reason not to trust her.
“I tried to make a decision if I want to grab the mouse or you so you want walk away and this was the only way to get both. Come on, this is more comfortable, we share the mouse and watch a movie.”
“Your sofa is comfy too.”
“No sofa is as comfy as a bed…but you’re free to sit wherever you want of course.” Maybe Sofia had pushed her luck enough with the jump on Sara, she didn’t want to make the brunette angry by being annoying. This day went so well no need to spoil it by her big urge to play with Sara.
“All you want is that I feed you.” The light smile on Sara’s face let Sofia feel relieved. The brunette wasn’t mad at her, she was alright with this.
“No, never.” Maybe it had been a part of her idea, a tiny part she knew she would never make real. She pulled the blanket over her feet, opened the mouse, dunk the spoon in it and held it in front of Sara’s mouth.
“You’re feeding me?”
“Yes, one spoon for you, one for me. This way we share the fun, the great taste and…”
“And the calories.”
“Yes.” Sofia grinned.
“You are the chocoholic, not me.”
“I’m sure deep inside of you there’s a little girl who wants to have chocolate and loves chocolate. Deep, deep down maybe but I’m sure she’s there.”
“This girl has taken over your body and mind.”
“Maybe.” Sofia grinned satisfied when Sara took the first spoon. Now they were talking, finally an evening Sofia wouldn’t be the only one with chocolate all over her face and a stomach telling her, she had too much sweets. This night Sara would suffer with her. As soon as you started to eat mouse au chocolate there was no way to stop until the box was empty and they had a family package!

Sunday, 15th of July

The alarm woke Sara up at eight o’clock. Sunday morning. Her last morning, the last hours in Los Angeles. The last hours with Sofia. Who would have thought, that there was a morning, she thought of the blonde detective after she woke up. Lieutenant, not detective anymore. Only one week could change so many things. If she was honest to herself, she knew, she was about to miss the time with Sofia, she would miss Sofia. It sounded so crazy. One week ago, she didn’t waste a thought of her former colleague, one week ago, she didn’t care what the blonde was doing. Now she thought of when to have a weekend in San Jose to meet Sofia. So crazy.
What she supposed to do with that? How was she supposed to react? God, she had been so annoyed when she saw Sofia in front of her down at reception. There had been these little horror movie in her head, that she had to spend time with the blonde, that Sofia would driver her crazy with her smug and nosy way. If Sara had had a change at that moment, she had done anything to be somewhere else.
She wondered how Sofia had felt. How she felt now. If she felt like Sara and if she was surprised about these feelings and thoughts too. But there was no way Sara would ask her these things. Never. She had a reputation to lose.
She got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. In half an hour they were due for their last breakfast. Tine to take a shower, to get dressed.
In a new record time she made herself ready, packed her suitcase and knocked on the door next door.
With wet hair and a smile Sofia opened the door. Just like she did the first evening. A shower, a complete change of clothes and that in five minutes. Sara still wondered how Sofia managed to do that.
“Good morning.”
“Morning, how did you sleep?” Sofia stepped a little bit aside to Sara in. The room was chaos, clothes were all over the bed, the sofa and the table. It looked like a hurricane had hit the room.
“Sorry, I tried to pack.”
“And you packed your things in what? Just in the room or do you want to narrow that down to something else? Maybe your suitcase?”
“Don’t be sarcastic, Sara,” Sofia grinned. “That’s not nice.”
“I’m sorry. Shall I start the coffee?”
“Yes, that would be nice. Our breakfast should be here any time soon.” Sofia had ordered breakfast for them. No need to waste time on making breakfast on your last day when there were enough other things to do. Cleaning up the mess, figuring out, how to get all your things in one suitcase and trying not to forget half of your belongings. A challenge on a Sunday morning.
“I don’t understand why one bath suit is so big that my I can’t close my suitcase anymore,” Sofia complained.
“Maybe it’s because the bath suit is attached to the other things you bought during the week. As far as I remember you were shopping in every lunch break.”
“Just a view, necessary things, tiny things.”
“The ‘I love Venice” shirt? Okay, it’s not that big, but the black costume, the brown skirt and the four blouses might take a little of the space.”
“You know.” Sofia closed her suitcase, threw the rest of her clothes on top and made the decision, she’d leave them out. She was here with her car, there was no need to pack everything in one suitcase. She could get a bag when she was home and carry everything inside. “I’d prefer when you give me answers I like. Tell me something nice, Sara. It’s Sunday morning, I can’t handle the bad truth before I had my breakfast and my coffee.”
“Well, I’ve to think about something nice that’s true.” Sara took the coffee and came back in the main room. She left the coffee on the table and walked to the door, where she had seen the housekeeper with the breakfast.
Unsure where to go with the tray she looked around. The table was full, the two chairs were buried somewhere under towels, a jacket and only Sofia knew what else.
“Outside isn’t the best idea, people are checking out, we’d sit in their way. Shall we go over to my room?”
“So that I’ll see how to organize correct? No, thanks. There’s a big bed, you never had breakfast in bed? I took all my meals on my bed in college.”
“No comment,” Sara grinned.
“Because my desk was full with papers. And the bed is much more comfortable than a chair. All we need is…” Sofia dove half under her bed and got a big book from there.
“You’ve a guide book hidden under your bed? Is it only a book or is the man, who held the book, still down there?”
“The last time I checked he was gone.” Sofia smirked and put the coffee on the guide book. “It’s like an extra tray.”
“Alright, breakfast on your bed it is.” Sara sat down.
“Oh great, there are eggs. Breakfast deluxe.” Sofia dug her fork in the scrambled eggs. That was what she called a Sunday breakfast, with eggs, fresh toast, fruits and fresh bagels. Enough to bring her back to San Jose; well, if she needed a break during the drive, there was no way she’d leave the roadhouse without chocolate, but chocolate doesn’t count as food. Chocolate was something necessary, like air or water.
“I think, I can skip lunch when we eat all these things.”
“No, you can have a later lunch, but you can’t skip it. At least three meals a day, Sara. Better are five.”
“Yes, five small ones and not five portions like this. That’s like a breakfast box for a football team. Did you make your cross in front of everything they offer?”
“Of course. Twice. I didn’t want us to leave hungry. And I thought, if there are some leftovers, we can take them with us. You never know, a traffic jams occurs usually when you don’t have food and drinks around – and when you really need a bathroom.”
“I looked up a route away from the main highways. I’ll take the slow way home, will take me four hours more, but I’ll see a different scenery and can have one or two little walks.”
“I thought of having a swim in the ocean when I come along a nice beach. I need to use my new bath suit.”
“Enjoying the holiday until the last hour.”
“Yes.”
“I think, you’ll have some celebrations tomorrow. The new lieutenant, a real reason to celebrate. A beer with the guys. Or two.”
“Yes, I look forward to that. Do you want to join us?”
“Unfortunately I’ve to work. I left Fresno for a week alone, it’s time to pick up all the pieces of my city, that are left. It’s time to send my team on a holiday and have a fight with all the papers, that will be on my desk.”
“What a pity. I’d like to have you around.”
“I’ll come to San Jose soon. Promise.”
“Really?” Sofia stopped eating. That sounded like Sara had a date in mind.
“Yes. I can’t give you an exactly date, but I think, I could arrange a weekend in San Jose in the middle or the end of September. If that suits you.”
“Absolutely. We can talk about the exact date when we’re back home, have talked to our boss and colleagues. I’m sure we can work something out and I look forward to see you in my new town.”
“Will I get the whole cop tour?”
“No, it’s a private meeting, no need to drag you to cop pubs and through the department. You know how a police department looks like. I’m sure we’ll find better things to do. A walk around the beach, dinner in a nice restaurant on the bay.”
“Sounds good.” Sara smiled.
“Sounds crazy to me, to be honest. We’ll spend a weekend together, not accidentally like we did this week, we plan it. To be honest, it amazes me, sounds crazy.”
“Want to hear something even more crazy?”
“Sure.”
“I think I’ll miss this week. It was fun, Sofia.”
Sofia needed a second or two to work with this information. She never expected Sara to say something like that.
“I’ll miss it too. We had some fun, hadn’t we?”
“Oh yes. You can be a nice company, lieutenant.”
“And you can be a very nice company too, supervisor. And you managed to be a whole week friendly, it’s kind of scary.”
“Thanks.” Sara pouted.
“You know what I mean.” Sofia blinked at her.
“I do. Shall I shock you a little bit more?”
“Are you daring me? How much I can take?”
“Yes.”
“Go on.”
“I’ll…no, I won’t say that.”
“What?” Sofia forgot to breathe for a moment. Was Sara serious or was she playing her? Was she about to say something personal, something about how it looked inside? Or was she testing how Sofia reacted?
“Nothing.”
“I want to know that now.”
“Do you want to interrogate me?”
“I’d love to. Unfortunately, you’re not a suspect, so I remind myself of the privacy policy I told you of before. The best thing about private life is that it’s private. No interrogation today.”
“I can see how much you hate that right now.”
“Yes.”
“I enjoy it.” Sara smiled. No, she wouldn’t tell Sofia, what she was about to say. She couldn’t. It was too weird.

The suitcase was in the trunk, her clothes, that didn’t fit in, were on top, nicely folded. Her bath suit was under her shorts and shirt, a towel over the passenger seat and the rest of the breakfast in a cooler box on the backseat. Sofia was ready to leave Los Angeles.
But was she ready by heart to leave the place? She had her room locked, had the keys in her hands, all she had to do was going to reception, give back the keys and drive home. Almost ten, she wanted to be halfway to San Jose around one to have some lunch on a beach, a swim and be in San Jose around five or six.
“Got everything?” Sara came out of her room, down the stairs to the car park.
“Yeah, everything is packed. And you?”
“Just checked the room again, clear. Time to leave the city of angels.”
“Yes, time to go up north. Although I’ve to say, it is a really nice spot here. I’m glad I decided to stay in Silver Lake and not Downtown or somewhere fancy like Beverly Hills or Santa Monica.”
“Of course you’re glad you stayed here, otherwise you hadn’t met me.” Sara smiled coy.
“Maybe. At least I’ve a sexy swim suit because of you.” Sofia chuckled and walked towards the building. There was no reason to tell Sara, that she was right about her statement. Sofia was glad she had met Sara here. She was sure, she told the brunette often enough the last week. No need to give her ego a boost.
They gave back the keys and walked back to their cars. Time to say goodbye.
“Before you go in your car and take off.” Sofia stopped Sara by carefully holding her by her shoulders. “You need something.”
“What?” Sara was slightly amused. Was Sofia about to give her a lecture, to drive carefully, not to speed and take breaks every two hours?
“This.” She handed the brunette a piece of paper.
“You cell phone number?”
“Yes. That might help you to call me when you want to come to San Jose.” They didn’t exchange their number during the week, there had been no reason. They spent their evenings together, had no time the rest of the day. And none of them had asked the other for her number. Something Sofia remembered when she thought of asking Sara to give her a call when she was back. Just to know, the investigator was safe back home.
“And I need to tell you I’m back in Fresno?”
“Please.”
“I consider it.” Sara smiled.
“I’ll call my colleagues otherwise and let them search for you. Think about if you want that. For me, it would be very embarrassing when two cops stop in front of my place, knock on the door to make sure, I’m home and tuck in my bed.”
“You’re nuts enough to do something like that, aren’t you?”
“Don’t dare me, Sara.”
“Alright.” Sara took the number. “Get your cell out.”
Without questions Sofia got her cell phone out.
“Listen carefully, lieutenant, I’ll give you my number only once, so you better type it in your cell. Ready?”
“One mo…”
“Set, go!” Sara said her number and Sofia somehow managed to type it down. Not under Sara’s name, but she had the number, everything she could do later.
“You don’t want to make it easy for me, do you?”
“You like challenges, you told me. That was the one for the goodbye. See you, Sofia.” Sara opened her door.
“The old bitch is back,” Sofia sighed loud enough to let Sara hear it. “What a pity. She managed almost a week to be kind. See you, Sara.” Sofia turned. Before she could walk to her car, she got packed on her shoulders, spun around and found herself in Sara’s arms.
“I should kick your ass for that comment, lieutenant, but I’ll forgive you this time. Have a safe trip.”
“Thanks, you too. Don’t ignore the speed limit too often. I can’t get you out of trouble, I’m afraid.”
“I’ll behave. Bye.” Sara let go of Sofia and smiled a bit. That was more a proper goodbye than the first version.

Sara stopped not far away from Wofford Heights, just off the shore of Isabella Lake. Another 140 miles to go for her, time she was halfway home. Time for a break and a little walk. Leaving her car behind on the car park, she took her backpack with the food, a bottle of water and took off a little path next to the lake.
The sun was shinning, it was a little bit after noon, she had seen families having lunch at a picnic area. She was looking for some quiet time, so she made the decision it was best, to have her lunch somewhere around the lake, where she could sit in the grass and watch the water. Like she did most times when she was out on a hiking trip. She took those trips to get away from people, to have some time for herself, have time to think of her work, her life, make some plans.
Today she would use it to think about the last week. She had done that every night since Sunday. Truly a week to remember. And it wasn’t the seminar, that made the week so special, it was Sofia. Of all things the smug blonde lieutenant, former detective. What was Sara supposed to do with that?
Add to that, Sofia had made her think of her old job in Las Vegas. It wasn’t like thought of going back, there was no way she would apply in Sin City again. Too many things had happened there, too many memories, she didn’t want to think of. Plus, she really doubted she could work with Ecklie. For Ecklie. She was fine in Fresno, she was the supervisor, she had a great team.
Okay, she missed her old team too. Especially Greg. Maybe she would try to get him to Fresno one day. But knowing Greg, he loved Las Vegas too much. All the stories about the city, stories from ‘back in the day’, he loved to read and listen too. Las Vegas had lost a lot of it’s glory and fame of the late last century, but you could still parts of it’s history. All you had to do was look carefully and dig a little bit. Her friend did that.
So why did she think about Las Vegas? It was a great time, it was over, she should be happy to have all these memories. Going back would destroy them, there was a reason why people said, you have to stop something when it’s nice. That keeps a positive memory.
Sara sat down, put off her shoes and got her feet into the water. That was nice. A tree gave her some shade, the perfect place for lunch. And because she felt like teasing, she took her cell phone and typed a message to Sofia.
I’ve my feet in water, under a tree, a lake all for myself. What about you? Found some cute surfer?
She was sure, the blonde was looking for a spot to watch surfer. Maybe Sofia could get one guy into giving her another lesson. And in case Sofia hadn’t been fast enough with Sara’s number, she had it now.

I’ve my feet in water, under a tree, a lake all for myself. What about you? Found some cute surfer?
Sofia hat to smile. She hadn’t expect Sara to text her from her trip, she was happy when the brunette promised to text her when she arrived home. Now she got a text from Sara’s lunch place. She knew, the brunette wanted to make her jealous.
I’ve a few surfers, a great beach walk and a souvenir for you. Santa Barbara is really great. We should go here together one day.
First she wanted to stop somewhere quiet, but a look on her map told her, that taking the ocean route was already a detour and if she wanted to find a quiet spot, it would take her until the late evening until she was home. So she stopped in Santa Barbara, knowing, that the longest part of the trip was still ahead. But she had some fresh fish, a swim and was n her towel, letting the sun dry her. She watched people around her, playing beach volleyball, surfing, eating, reading, talking. It was nice. Sara had a quiet place, exactly what Sofia expected her to choose.
The drive so far had been alright, no traffic jams, no delays. She wanted to stay another half an hour and then go on with her trip. Without this break her trip was around six and a half hours long, meant with a break of ninety minutes, she was up to eight hours, what brought her back to San Jose around six in the evening. Just in time for dinner.
Why do you buy me a souvenir?
Sofia laughed. She knew this question would come. It wasn’t necessary to know Sara’s whole story of life, it was obvious, the brunette couldn’t handle gifts from…what was Sofia? Could she call herself a friend of Sara Sidle? Or was she more a person, who Sara knew? Before this week, she was sure, she wasn’t more than a former colleague, now…now what? They weren’t friends, they had a great week together, that didn’t make them friends, did it? Sofia wouldn’t mind to call Sara her friend, but she wasn’t sure, if the brunette wanted that. Did Sara call anybody a friend? Except for her old colleagues from Las Vegas.
Because I saw it, it reminded me of you, so I bought it. Don’t worry, I’ll only send it to you if I get your address. Otherwise you’ve to wait until we’ll see each other again.
If she wanted Sara’s address, she simply could look it up. She was a lieutenant, there was no problem for her to find out an address. But she wanted the supervisor to tell her herself. If Sofia simply send the gift to Sara, Sara knew, Sofia had looked her up. That was a violation of her privacy policy and as the last week had showed her, this policy had brought her closer to Sara. It was so damn hard not to ask all these questions, she had in her mind. God knows, there were a lot of. But she was sure, one day she would get all her answers and the confidence of Sara Sidle.
Sara. What a week with Sara. Sofia couldn’t be enough surprised of how the week had been. They had spent every night together, expired their stay in the motel to spent more time together. Sara had taught her how to surf. Or had given her the first surfing lesson ever.
She had hugged Sofia! Sara Sidle had made some close contact with her. And it was her decision. Sofia had been very surprised. It wasn’t like she had intended to leave Sara with just a goodbye. She had planed to stop the brunette from leaving, even if she had turned away like she wanted to go to her car. That Sara had stopped her was even better.
You were a detective, go detect!
Sofia chuckled. Yes, she were a detective, she was a lieutenant now. She had people, who could go and detect for her. No need for herself to do it herself. Especially not, if it meant, she had to cross the privacy line.
You know the thing about privacy. You don’t tell me, I won’t detect it. I stick to this rule, Sara.
Could it be that she missed Sara already? She had to admit, she couldn’t remember of any colleague in San Jose, she had as much fun with as she had with Sara. Too crazy.
Talking about crazy, she wanted to know what was the thing, Sara didn’t tell her. What was even more crazier and why didn’t Sara tell her? Oh, she had to see her again.
She would see her again! Sara had promised to come to San Jose! Sara Sidle was about to spend a weekend with Sofia and the blonde was sure, the brunette wouldn’t book a motel if she offered her a place in her apartment. There was a couch, that was absolutely perfect for a sleepover. No reason for Sara to stay anywhere else.
I allow you to find out that thing out. Thanks for the week. I’ll miss you, Sofia.
Sofia held her breath. Sara would miss her? Now, that was the highlight of the week. Sara Sidle told her, she would miss her. Sofia smiled. Sara had enjoyed her week. She had said so, but these text made it very clear. Now Sofia didn’t doubt that Sara would visit her in San Jose. And it was the perfect end for this week.

August

Sara couldn’t remember when the last time was she was in San Jose. When she lived in San Francisco, there was no reason to go to San Jose. She had everything she needed in San Francisco and all she needed was her work. It was like in Vegas, who cares about the area if there was enough work?
But, two weeks ago, Sofia had invited her to spend a weekend in San Jose. They both had the weekend off. Sofia had teased Sara, saying she would never have the great night life in Fresno like it was in San Jose. Not that Sara was a big fan of the nightlife in any city - she preferred a quiet evening instead of being in a crowd of strangers and having to yell at the one person you know there, to have any kind of conversation.
“I’m sorry.” Sofia jogged the stairs down to the waiting area of the San Jose police department, where Sara was sitting.
Again completely in black, she reminded Sara of a black panther on the run. And Sara felt like she could be the prey. Thank God she knew this panther was tame, even without seeing the reason in her ice blue eyes!
The woman at the reception desk had offered to let her go upstairs to Sofia’s office, but Sara had said no thanks. It was five o’clock, Sofia was off the clock, so she would be here in a minute. No need to go upstairs and stress Sofia. It took her friend fifteen minutes to come down.
“Don’t worry,” Sara assured her. “You’re a lieutenant, you’re responsible for your guys.”
“Sometimes I feel like I’m responsible for a kindergarten. See you, Amy.” Sofia waved to the receptionist.
“You don’t strike me as a schoolmarm,” Sara teased.
“And what do I strike you as?”
“More like the troublemaker.”
“I’m in a position to make some trouble for you,” teased Sofia.
“I know, you did that quite a few times already.”
“You should remember you’re in my town. Everything you say can and will be used against you.”
“If you start to read me my rights, will I find myself handcuffed in a few seconds?”
Sofia grinned widely. “Only if you want it.”
“No thanks! There’s no soft bed here to catch my fall and the sidewalk doesn’t look too cozy.” Sara responded.
“Then be a good girl.”
“I’m always a good girl.”
“Uh hum.” Sofia bopped Sara in the hips. She could remember a few times when Sara wasn’t the good girl she pretended to be.
“Sure, I’m”
“Stop! Stop the thief!” The heads of both women popped around.
All Sara could see was an angry face of a middle aged guy and a red blur. Sofia reacted faster. She moved her foot and the red blur flew on to the –as Sara mentioned before - not so cozy-looking sidewalk. It was a hard landing. Now Sara saw what or who was in such a hurry. A young man with red hair. He cursed, turned around, took a look to who he had to thank for being on the ground and stopped. About to take off, he instead froze as soon as he saw Sofia. The young man dropped back on the sidewalk and offered her his hands with a crooked smile.
“Detective Dazzling, handcuff me, chain me to you, bring me into interrogation, and I’ll be yours.”
Sara had to bite her lips to keep from laughing. Detective Dazzling? Handcuff me? I’ll be yours? Who was this guy to say such things to Sofia? And could he go away with that?
Sofia sighed. “Felix.”
“I called the police. Thanks for your help, ladies.” The middle aged man approached the three (with Felix still sitting on the sidewalk) and offered Sofia a handshake.
“I am the police.” Sofia moved her jacket a little bit so that the man could see her badge on her belt.
“Oh, wow, that was fast. Thanks, Officer. He’s a thief.”
Officer? Sara wasn’t sure what was worse. A flirting suspect or an old man who demoted Sofia. Two ranks, to be precise. When she did that she ended up handcuffed!
“What did he steal?” Sofia asked. To Sara, she didn’t look very impressed.
“A loaf of bread.”
Sofia looked at the young man with surprise. “A loaf of bread?”
“Wholewheat.”
“Okay. I need you to go down to the police station, fill in a complaint and we can work something out.”
“I can’t close my shop! I’m alone, I have to stay here,” said the older man.
“If he pays you, would you drop the complaint?”
“I can’t” Felix started to say. Sofia’s look made the young man shut up.
“He owes me three dollars.”
“Here are five.” Sofia took a note from her pocket. “I’ll make sure he goes downtown and gets what he deserves.” Now Sara was even more surprised. Sofia paid for the bread for the young man? They must know each other.
“No wonder this country is going under” The shopkeeper mumbled as he went back to his shop.
“Lieutenant, not an officer, Stupid! Her stripes show that clearly.” The young man shouted after the shop owner.
Sofia shifted her attention. “You stole a loaf of bread?”
“Theft of food is forgivable.”
“Says who?”
“I think I read that somewhere”
“Instead of reading trash you should earn some money.”
“Tried to, nobody paid me this afternoon. Too much rain.”
“You eat your bread, but don’t you dare to go this shop again. Don’t you dare to do that in another shop, and you will go to the police station now, tell them what you did and they’ll tell you what you’ll do to make it up.”
“Can’t I just make it up to you?”
“You’ll do that when you go downtown without me. See this lady next to me?”
“Sure.” Felix smiled at Sara. “She’s a CSI. If you try to vanish, we’ll hunt you down. And I mean it. We’re both hungry, we’ve got a reservation in a restaurant, I don’t want to let her wait because you couldn’t stay out of trouble. Understand?”
“Yes, Lieutenant Lascivious.”
“And the next time you’re hungry after a bad day, go to the soup kitchen. You’re close to ending up in jail for theft of food. Don’t play with the patience of my colleagues or me.”
“Understood.”
“Good. Get lost, now.”
Felix got up, smiled at the two women, turned, and walked away. Before he reached the next corner, he stopped and turned.
“Lieutenant?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you very much. You do what I call protect and serve. I hope there’s something I can do for you.”
“It’s my job. And it’s your job not to get in trouble again. You tink you can do that for me?”
“I’d do anything for love and you.” He blew her a kiss and vanished behind the corner.
Sofia sighed deeply, had a last look at the young man, and then turned to Sara.
“Sorry, for that. Let’s have dinner.”
“Detective Dazzling? Lieutenant Lascivious?” Sara laughed. Finally she was allowed to laugh about all the things she’d witnessed! “Handcuff me? Chain me to you? Is that how a suspect talks to a lieutenant? And what is that, you’re sending a thief to the police station without an officer? Do you really think he’ll go there and report his theft?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?” Sara was stunned. Sofia really believes he will take himself in?
“I’ll tell you about Felix when we’re in the restaurant.”
“Sounds like a good story.”
”Keep your thoughts clean, it’s not like you think.”
“How did I” What was Sara supposed to think? A young man was obviously flirting with Sofia, it was even more obvious they knew each other. How could she think something wrong in this situation?
“Just don’t.” Sofia grinned. She knew Sara had the wrong idea, there was no need for her to deny it.
“I guess this might be a very interesting weekend.”
“It will be.” Sofia guided them to a little restaurant where they got seated on a small table next to the window.
Sara took a look around. A log fire was only a yard away from them, the light was not bright, but not too dim, it felt cozy being here.
“Nice place.”
“Best vegetarian pizza in the whole town.”
“Did I make you become a vegetarian?”
“No, you didn’t.”
“So why do you know it’s the best vegetarian pizza?”
“I did a little research. You thought I’d invite you to San Jose and take you to a steak house?”
“Well, before this afternoon I’d have said no, but now, after I saw what happened on the street, I’m not that sure anymore of what you’re capable of, Lieutenant Lascivious.”
“You like that, don’t you?”
“Actually I prefer Detective Dazzling.” Sara had a cocky smile.
A waitress took their drink orders and, as both women knew what they wanted to eat, they ordered that as well. Both went for the vegetarian pizza.
“Does he call you Lieutenant Lust after ten p.m.?” Sara went on teasing Sofia.
“If you go on like this you’ll find yourself in handcuffs again.”
“Do you like restraining me?”
“If you deserve it.”
“Maybe I can get the number of Lady Heather for you”
“Shut up.”
“Did you ever meet her?”
“Privately? Sure. I had my best evenings with her.”
“Don’t play me.”
“Don’t ask stupid questions.”
“I didn’t.”
“Just shut up and listen while I tell you what you want to know. Felix, that’s my little young friend’s name, was the first guy in San Jose I arrested. It was almost the same situation like today. He stole some apples, I caught him. Since that time I’ve met him a few times at the police station, and every time he was charged with some theft of food or drinks. Always non-alcoholic drinks. Usually he’s singing in the mall, making some money that way. On bad days, with a lot of rain, he has no money and ends up in custody.”
“If he doesn’t get rescued by a lieutenant.”
“That was the first and last time I did that for him. I got rid of the shop owner because I didn’t want us to be late for dinner.”
“It was all for our dinner?”
“What do you mean, ‘all for our dinner’?” Sofia looked suspiciously at Sara.
“Not for Felix?”
“Why should I do that for Felix? He got himself in the shit.”
“Detective Dazzling, Lieutenant Lascivious. Handcuff me, chain me to you, interrogate me, I’m yours. He’s flirting with you, Sofia.”
“Being in his position I’d also try to charm the police.”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t say that to another cop. Only to you.”
“Okay, so maybe he’s flirting, you know how old he is? He could be my baby brother.”
“I bet he doesn’t see an older sister in you.”
“I can’t change his fantasies, I can only say, they’ll never come true.”
“That will break his heart.”
“If he wants, he can impress me by not being in custody for a couple of months.”
“Let him enhance his skills and no shop owner will catch him anymore.”
“For a CSI, being on the other side of the law than a thief, you sound like you support him. Shall I call your supervisor and have a talk with him about this?”
“I like Felix, he seems to be alright.”
“He is. I just have to get him out of the habit of stealing.”
“Does he have family?”
“I don’t know. He’s an adult, so I can’t ask for a telephone number to call his parents.”
A woman came to their table.
“Sofia.” She had long red hair, gray eyes, and looked like she was in a very good shape.
Sofia’s expression on her face changed immediately. From the warm smile she had for Sara to a reserved look. Obviously she wasn’t happy to see this visitor.
“Monique. How are you?”
“What are you doing here?”
“Having dinner.”
“I haven’t seen you in a long time.”
“I’m working.”
“So do I.”
Sara had no idea who this woman was, but she was ignoring Sara. And Sara could clearly feel the tension between them.
“So have you started to pick up anybody on the street?”
Sofia’s eyes showed her anger. “Whatever I do is none of your business, Monique.”
“A little weekend fun?”
“I think you should leave.”
“I thought you’d have better taste than that.”
“That’s enough. Go.”
“Why? You’re afraid of”
The waitress brought the pizzas. “Are you going to join them?” she asked Monique.
“No, she’ll leave now.” Sofia’s tone made it clear she wouldn’t accept one minute more with Monique at their table. “Right now.” “
See you aroundand your side dish.” Without even looking at Sara the woman took off.
Sofia buried her face in her hands. That was not what she wanted for their dinner. Probably that was the worst thing that could happen to her tonight. The little show with Felix was a kind of cute or funny, this was embarrassing and annoying.
“I’m so sorry.” The words were whispered, not spoken, but loud enough for Sara to hear them. Sofia’s face peeked through her hands. Sorrow was in her eyes.
Sara took the hands away and put her hand on Sofia’s.
“You don’t have to feel sorry, you didn’t do anything. Just forget it and let’s have some pizza. I’m starving.”
“Thanks.” Sofia smiled lightly. Sara wouldn’t ask her, Sofia knew it. Just as Sara wished that people respect her private life, so did she respect other people’s private lives.
Without another word they finished their pizza. Sofia ordered two glasses of red wine for them, then moved over to sit next to Sara.
“You mind?” She asked before she sat down.
“Not at all.” Sara smiled. She knew Sofia wanted to talk to her about the incident earlier, but she didn’t want to talk loud, didn’t want half of the restaurant listening to what only Sara was supposed to hear.
“I’m still really sorry for that scene. Monique and Ishe’s my ex.” Sofia expected Sara to move away from her, look shocked, or do anything, that would show any kind of disgust. When nothing like that happened, Sofia relaxed a little bit.
“I can tell from her reaction, it was you who ended the relationship.” Sara’s words were soft, softer than usual. Sofia relaxed even more, immediately. No shock, no disgust, all that Sara showed was sympathy.
“Yes. A couple of weeks ago. The problem – or one of the many problems – is, she works in the department. We bump into each other on a regular basis. That makes it more difficult to get some space and she doesn’t want any space. That was the reason why I told her, I can’t have a relationship with her anymore. She wanted us to move in together, I needed more space. She wanted us to start to build a future, I wasn’t sure if there was a future. Don’t get me wrong, it was a great time, I don’t blame her for anything. We were too different, that was all. Being different is alright, it makes things more interesting, but when the differences are the main points of a relationship - and when the important differences in your lives are too big, there’s no reason to keep a relationship alive.”
Sara listened attentively.
“I started to feel more comfortable when she was away, I enjoyed my time, didn’t look forward to seeing her after work. She put the pressure on me, we had to work on our relationship. I had no hope in rescuing it. She wanted me to stay a detective so that we could work together; I wanted to become a lieutenant. The week before the tests, I told her, I didn’t want her in my life anymore as a partner. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I needed to concentrate on my tests, needed to do what made me happy and I knew, it wasn’t her.”
Sofia took a breath and continued.
“She didn’t want to hear those things. She told me, if I just stay in my job, if we just spend more time together, everything would be fine again. We should go on holiday, really get an apartment together and maybe buy a dog. All these thoughts scared me. They really did. I told her, she wanted me to do all the things I didn’t want to do, and she said, she knew what I really wanted, I shouldn’t worry about it. That was it. I was done with her for good.
People can tell me a lot of things but nobody can tell me what I want. Nobody has the right to make my decisions. Especially when they definitely don’t listen to what I say, what I think, what I feel.
After I made her leave she came back the next day. I had the locks changed, she couldn’t come in, things were getting worse. She started to harass me at work in a way only I would notice. I told her, if she didn’t stop that, I’ll go to our chief and report her. No matter what the consequences were for me. I like San Jose but it’s not like I can’t imagine ever going anywhere else and I’d rather to go to another city and live in peace than stay here.
Then I went to L.A. for my tests. I wanted to take them there, away from all the trouble here. We met in the motel, I thought, if you give me a hard time again, as you did the first time in Vegas, I’m gonna blew my tests and kill you for it. But we had such a great time, you helped me to stay calm and I made lieutenant. I’m not sure if I had made it without you, but I’m sure if I had made it, I wouldn’t have been that good. Talking to you in the evenings helped me to relax and get my head straight. Thanks for being there at that time.”
“I didn’t know I’d done anything,” Sara said.
“Well, that was the point of it. Because you didn’t know anything about this, it was easy and nice with you. Our evenings were like a safe haven, I looked forward to seeing you every evening. My first idea of having a quiet week just for myself got run over, but I think it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’m very happy we met again, I’m very happy we had all that fun and I’m even happier that we’ve managed to stay in contact after we both left L.A.”
Sara crooked her head. “If you want to hug me now, make damn sure your jealous bitch isn’t around. I don’t want to get hit on the head by whatever she gets in her hands first.”
Sofia started laughing and really hugged Sara.
“Thanks.” Sofia mumbled.
“What for?”
“For reacting the way you did.”
“What did you expect I’d do? Leave the restaurant or the city? Because your ex-girlfriend is a jealous bitch? Because you have an ex-girlfriend? What does that change? You’re still the same. I don’t care who you go to bed with.”
“But now you know why I don’t care that Felix is maybe flirting with me.”
“Not maybe, he is.”
“Well, if I’d go for a man, then it has to be a man and not a boy. He’s cute, but all he does to me is the same a puppy would do. I see him, I think, how cute, a baby and that’s it.”
“That will break his heart.”
“It won’t.”
“But did I get you right? If that bitch is bothering you, you’ll leave? Shall I ask around in Fresno if they need a lieutenant?”
“You want to have me in Fresno?”
“I think it might be interesting to work with you again. And if you want to leave your place here, it would be cheaper to move to Fresno than toMilwaukee.”
“Why on God’s earth should I want to move to Milwaukee?”
“Somehow it was the first strange place that came to my mind.”
“Very strange. But no, she doesn’t bother me anymore, she got the message. Why she was here today, why she had to behave the way she did, I’ve no idea. She must be jealous, thinking you’re my new girlfriend. That was maybe a try to scare you away.”
“If anybody would leave you for her poor show, than she isn’t worth it to be with you. A jealous ex isn’t a reason to leave somebody. Not if the ex get sent away.”
“I’m guessing if you ran into an ex-girlfriend of a date of yours, you’d kick her ass for a scene like that.”
“I was thinking of doing that towhat was her name? Monica? Whatever. I made the decision, she’s not worth the effort.”
“She isn’t or I’m not?”
“If I’d had the impression you couldn’t handle her, I’d have done something. You’re a tough cop, you can kick ass without my help.”
“Unfortunately it’s more difficult to kick ass when it’s a private matter.”
“If we meet her again this weekend, I’ll kick her ass for you.” Sara said with a grin. “I’m pretty sure there’s enough bitch left in me.”
“You’re losing it more every time I meet you. One day you won’t be a bitch at all. Be careful, Sara Sidle, you might a lovely woman one day and people want to spend all their time with you.”
“That would turn me back into bitch again, no doubt.” Sara grinned and blinked at Sofia who relaxed completely next to the brunette. Sara didn’t make Sofia responsible for Monique’s show and was cool about Sofia having ex girlfriends. She had experienced that different from people she considered as friends until she found out, they weren’t friends. They were nothing more than people she unfortunately knew.

“Is this what you do when you’ve got a weekend off? You have breakfast in a café and five minutes later you stop again for another coffee?” Sara asked amused. She and Sofia had hardly finished their breakfast in a little café in an open-air mall and Sofia was about to lead them to a shop that advertised coffee to go.
“If I had a weekend off, usually somebody made plans for me, so I never had the chance to do whatever I wanted. Later I enjoyed my free days on the beach, long shopping tours, day trips to San Francisco or the worst, but most of the time the most necessary possibility: cleaning the apartment. And you’re a coffee junkie too.”
“Yes.”
“So, medium or large? Bear in mind I’m gonna take you to an outdoor event and you won’t miss a second of this event just because you need another coffee.”
“Large.” Sara looked suspiciously at Sofia. “What kind of outdoor event?”
“Oh, you’ll like it, let me surprise you.” Sofia got a large black coffee for Sara and a large one with cream and sugar for herself. Sara expected her to take her to a big open place, a stadium or anything like that, but instead Sofia dropped herself down on bench.
“This is your open air event?” Where was the event? Where was anything They were surrounded by a lot of people, in a mall, all on their way to different shops... that was not an event.
“Hey, you’re sitting here with me, that should be event enough for you.” Sofia laughed.
“Yeah, sure. You might be an event for every second man walking past, at least if I see the looks they throw at you, but that is not what I understand to be an event. An astonishing blonde in the mall is nothing that makes me leave my bedroom on a Saturday morning.”
“Astonishing?” Sofia grinned. “Thanks. And believe me I wouldn’t let you leave the bedroom as long as I am in. It would never cross your mind to miss a second with me”
“You’re awful smug sometimes.”
“Didn’t you just call me astonishing?”
“You damn well know most guys think you’re sexy and I’m sure most of your single male colleagues, shit, probably even the married ones, wouldn’t mind having a Saturday morning with you in their bedroom.”
“Thanks again. I have to say I really enjoy your company on a Saturday morning. You’re quite charming. But I can assure you, we’re not here for being the most admired women in the city. They look at you too, when you smile nobody can resist you. By the way I love that little gap between your teeth.”
Sara rolled her eyes. “I hated it as a child and a teenager. No matter what I tried, it stayed, so I thought: screw it, it belongs to me.”
“Very sexy, let me tell you. I’m sure if I take you to the Girls Night tonight, you’ll get more invitations than anybody else.”
“I am not going to a Girls Night tonight,” Sara protested. There was no way she would go in a club, listen to loud music, got forced to dance and end up in a conversation she didn’t want to have.
“Afraid of the girls?”
“You can’t scare me with the girl thing, it’s the club I don’t want to do. Take me somewhere quiet and I’ll be fine, no matter if it’s a scene restaurant, or not. I’m not suffering from homophobia.”
“I found that out yesterday evening. You would have left the restaurant if you do.”
“Working as a CSI for over ten years I’ve seen worse than an ex-girlfriend being pissed off. I saw a lot of scenes that ended up deadly.”
“And being a CSI I know you know how to handle a gun so you can take care of me.”
“I can, yes.”
“Good. There’s our reason of sitting in the mall, in the open air, getting a complexion and being admired.” Sofia pointed to a place a few yards away. A young man with a guitar case had taken position and was preparing to play. His red hair was enough for Sara to know who he was. Felix.
It took Felix only a few seconds to see the women. He sent a big smile to them and took out his guitar.
“We have an open air concert? This is something special.”
“It is. He’s good, you’ll enjoy it.”
“If I like him, I might save him from ending up in custody again. Do you know if he went there?”
“He did. Twenty hours of social service, he’ll do that in a primary school, teaching the kids how to play guitar. I wish he would do something like that for a living instead of singing in the mall, not knowing if he’ll get enough money for dinner, not enough money for an apartment.”
“You really like him.” Sara could hear the concern in Sofia’s voice. The lieutenant had thought about the young man quite a lot and she worried. It wasn’t a big step from being a food theft to become a criminal who took more than bread.
“I worry about him.”
“That’s what I mean.” Sara smiled. She didn’t assume Sofia was interested in the young man as she had teased her yesterday, until she heard Sofia wasn’t interested in men…wait, she never said, she wasn’t interested in men, she just said she had a girlfriend. That didn’t mean she was generally not interested in men.
On the other hand, it didn’t matter whom Sofia was interested in as long as she was happy. And she seemed to be quite happy, singing softly with Felix’s voice “Mr. Brightside”.
“I don’t know him but I think, he likes the life he has.” Sara said after the first song.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, he’s free, he is his own boss. If he’s tired of a place, he takes his guitar and goes to the next city. Nothing holds him here, he’s free to go whenever he feels like that.”
“He can quit a job when he’s tired of it.”
“Not the same.”
“Do you have gypsy blood in you?” Sofia asked, grinning.
“Not as far as I know. I can only understand why somebody doesn’t want to be in a system, why you want to keep your freedom.”
“Being an CSI for over ten years you can’t have a lot of freedom in your life either.”
A dark shadow appeared for a part of a second on Sara’s face and made Sofia immediately regret saying that. It wasn’t meant to be a question about Sara’s past. It was more a statement because she knew the investigator had been a successful student in college and then went straight to the CSI.
And yes, Sofia knew about Sara’s childhood. She had read parts of her file when she worked in Las Vegas. She never mentioned it to Sara, she never made a comment about that, as long as Sara didn’t want to talk about her childhood, it wouldn’t be a topic in their conversations. And if she needed more time, Sofia was willing to give it to her. All the time in the world.
“I never wanted to do anything else.” Sara finally said. “At least not until I left Vegas and even then I ended up in the same job again, just another destination.”
“You’re good in your job, having you as a CSI makes the country safer.”
“Thanks.” Sara smiled. “Who’s the charming one?”
“Honest one.”
“Is sometimes the same.”
“Maybe.”
Sara watched Felix. The young man caught her eye and smiled. After he finished his second song, he threw a long look to Sofia and his eyes started to sparkle and he smiled boyishly. A few seconds later the women knew why. He played Elvis’s “Jailhouse Rock”.
“He’s” Sofia started.
“great,” Sara finished. “I like his music and his humor. It was really a good idea to come here.”
“I’m gonna kick his ass for this.”
“All you want is being close to his ass, be honest,” teased Sara.
“Do I have to threaten you again with the handcuffs?”
“No, I know now you like having me or in fact probably anybody in chains. Is that why you joined the force?”
“Bite me.”
“Only if there’s no lunch later.” Sara grinned.
“Bitch.” Sofia said playfully.
“You bet.” She finished her coffee and took Sofia’s empty cup to the rubbish bin. Conveniently for her she came near Felix’s spot. Sofia had no idea what she said to the young man, but he smiled and nodded.
“What did you say?”
“You will find out.”
“What. Did. You. Say. To. Felix?”
“Well, you’re a lieutenant, you’ll find out.”
“It sounded better with the detective and detect.”
“I know but if I say that I’ll end up on the ground, handcuffed. You don’t have to be a good investigator to investigate, there are a lot of things, I don’t want to have in my face.”
“Some little city dirt, I’m sure you’ve got the same in Fresno.”
“Our dirt is cleaner than yours.”
“Sure.”
“Stop picking on my town.”
“Your town?”
“Yes, my town. I like it there.”
“I might visit you there one day.”
“You better do and find out how wonderful it is.”
“Whatever. I can remember you’ve got ahanging garden?”
“That’s Babylon. We’ve got an underground garden.”
“Whatever. I don’t think”
“Hah, he’s so great!” Sara’s attention was back at Felix. As he started a new song, he winked to Sara.
“May I ask you to dance?” Sara asked Sofia.
“What?”
“May I ask you for a dance?”
“If you want, I can save the last dance for you.” Sofia recognized the song, it was “Save The Last Dance For Me”, an old classic. “But that doesn’t mean this is the last dance.”
“This is the first and last chance for you get a dance with me.”
“In that case, let’s save the last dance.” Sofia rolled her eyes with a smirk. She hoped none of her colleagues would see her, she’d lose all of her reputation if somebody saw this or - even worse – had a cell phone and took a photo or video.
Laughing and to the applause of some people, they danced to Felix’s song. At the end, an old couple joined them for a few steps, both in their mid-seventies, and obviously enjoying their little dance. Maybe it was sometimes good to be crazy, it could brighten up your life!
Felix went straight into the next song for a dance with “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Queen. Sofia and Sara dropped back on their bench and laughed when he tried to make them dance again.
“I’ll be in devil’s kitchen if anybody finds out I’m dancing to the music of a guy I sent downtown yesterday. You’re not good for my reputation.”
“You’re having a day off, you have fun, I’m sure nobody will have a problem with that.”
“That was really lovely, ladies.” The elderly couple approached them. “It’s nice to see that young people still know how to have a little fun. We would never have had this dance without you. Thank you very much.”
“You’re welcome.” Sara grinned.
“This new Sara Sidle is full of interesting surprises.”
“I can see you like her.”
“I do, I certainly do. Do you?”
“I do enjoy her, indeed.”
“Let’s get some more coffee, I think we can stay a little bit longer here, listening to our personal rock star.”
“I’m buying. Large?”
“Large with cream and sugar.”
“Of course. Keep my seat.”
“I saved the last dance for you, I’ll keep the seat too.”
Sara laughed. What a crazy weekend and she enjoyed every second of it. She should visit Sofia more often.

At nighttime, when she curled herself into a ball on Sofia’s comfortable sofa bed, she felt absolutely tired. What a day. She couldn’t believe she was dancing in the mall this morning. That wasn’t a thing an adult does, that was something children do. Dancing around happily in the streets on a sunny day, singing to music. Maybe because her childhood wasn’t that happy and joyful, she never had the idea to be in the mall and dance around with a friend. She didn’t have a friend. She didn’t have parents who took her to the mall.
It must have been her inner child, desperately taking over to catch an experience of childish joy, when she took Sofia’s hand and danced with her. She didn’t think about what the other people would think, she didn’t care if she looked ridiculous. All she wanted was to feel careless and free and she did. And it showed after it, she inspired somebody else to dance. The old couple seemed to enjoy their little dance too.
Felix had tried to make them dance a few more times, but this one dance was perfect, that was all Sara had wanted. They had listened for another two hours to Felix, made sure he would have enough money for a lunch and dinner and then went away for their own lunch.
For the afternoon they went to the ocean, walked barefoot in the sand for a few hours and came back to downtown San Jose city for a dinner in a quiet restaurant. No club, no more dancing. Both were tired, both enjoyed sitting in a cozy place and talking to each other. It seemed like Sara could do this with Sofia for hours. She never had that with somebody else and she liked it.
She was amazed how much her relationship to Sofia had changed. Why had they never noticed how good they got along years ago? Did they change so much? Was it because they never took the time to have real private chat? Or was it because work was too important for them? Whatever it was, Sara was happy that it had changed.
And she really liked their agreement about their private lives. Don’t ask questions, wait until the other tells you everything. She had no idea how it was for Sofia but for Sara it was much more comfortable to be around people she knew wouldn’t ask her anything she didn’t want to talk about. In this situation it was easier for her to reveal something from her private life freely. It felt good to tell Sofia some secrets of her life, to tell her things that she wouldn’t tell anybody under other circumstances.
Sofia told her piece by piece things from her private life. A jealous girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. No, Sara had never thought Sofia would have girlfriends, but she never had wasted a thought about that. When this woman was standing in front of their table, Sara was first confused and then annoyed. How could that woman dare to talk in that way to Sofia? If a relationship was over, it was over. And if you haven’t understood it after a few weeks, you might need to go and seek some help.
Felix was another interesting part of this weekend. Sara had an idea how to help the young man, she would have to talk to an old friend in Fresno. While she and Sofia were walking through the city she noticed a little pub that was also in Fresno. The owner must be the same, maybe he would hire Felix for a few hours per week. That would keep the young man’s freedom and bring him some money for an apartment and food. Sofia was right, sooner or later Felix would end up in jail. Even if he never took more than he needed for a meal, the judge would be sick of him one day and send him to jail.
Oh my god, she drove to San Jose to meet Sofia, she talked the whole day with her, she made plans to help a stranger, what did happen to her? What happened to the old Sara Sidle? Was anything left of her? Or was Sara now her complete self? Would it be wrong to be the new Sara Sidle? It felt good, it couldn’t be too bad then. Sara was sure she would get used to her new self and like it. Very much.

September

“Who had this awful idea?“ Sofia stopped, dropped down on her knees and closed her eyes. Pain. So much pain. Her back was everything but pleased with her. Her legs were on the side of her back’s and her feet stopped having feeling at all hours ago.
“You.” Sara stopped and looked down on Sofia. They were in the Yosemite National Park for a long hiking weekend. The Vogelsang Trek would be their home for the next three days and two nights. Or if they needed more time, for four days and three nights. Sofia’s private nightmare.
“I thought, we might walk along the Valley, have a coffee every now and then, adore all the lovely things you can see within reach of a coffee every thirty minutes. I never thought we’d train for the army.”
“Isn’t there a basic level of fitness for all lieutenants?”
“That doesn’t include hiking with a ton of whatever on your back. I catch bad boys, not carry them!”
“You’re in a perfect shape, the only problem you’ve got is, your muscles are trained in the wrong parts of your body. Or shall I say, you haven’t trained the muscles you need for this hike enough, but the rest of your muscles are perfect?”
“Why are you thinking about my muscles?” Sofia tried to lift her head to look into Sara’s face.
“Because they are very important to me. If they suck, I’ll have to wait for you, Little Softy, and listen to you whine.”
“Let’s keep going.” Sofia pushed herself up and went with energetic steps away from Sara, who started to laugh. She knew if she assaulted the pride of the lieutenant, she would stop complaining and walk on. Pride was a thing people could use against you if you couldn’t control it.
They were at the first climb, almost five miles along Rafferty Creek.
“What do you have in your backpack?” Sara observed, looking at the big backpack of her friend. It was the same size as hers but it looked heavy.
“Only important things.”
“Like?”
“What do you have in yours?”
“Sleeping bag, a little tent in case it rains, food, some clothes, basic toiletry stuff, a bear box.”
“Same, just, instead of a tent I’ve got some beer. I figured it would be nice to have some beer when we’re at the campground. It won’t rain.”
“You have beer in your backpack?” Sara couldn’t believe it. How could Sofia bother to carry the weight of beer? Of course the thought of having a cold beer after a hard hiking day was wonderful but not if the beer made the hike even more difficult.
“Yes.”
“How much candy did you pack?” Sofia didn’t have to mention candy; Sara knew she would have plenty of them in her backpack.
“We’re exercising. I need a lot of energy for these three days.”
“How much?”
“A few bars.”
“A few bars?” Sara was sure Sofia wasn’t talking about a few muesli energy bars, like the ones Sara had in her backpack. Sofia was talking about big blocks of chocolate and huge bags of candy. Probably she had a little box of snacks in her backpack. No wonder the climb was so exhausting for her.
“If you start to complain about my food I won’t share with you.”
“Do you haveforget it.” Sara grinned when she caught Sofia’s angry look. “Would you stop for a second? Please.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.” Sofia stopped and waited until Sara was by her side.
“And now?”
“Now you can take a picture of me with this great tree. I should hug it to make clear how big it is. And it’s not even a Giant Redwood.”
“If you start to collect bugs I’ll leave you behind.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not into bugs.”
She had never shared Gil’s interest in bugs. They never bothered her, but they also never interested her. She handed her camera to Sofia and hugged the tree. Some people say you get energy by hugging a tree. The power of nature will be transferred to your body and you’ll feel strong again. It was worth a try.
“You don’t consider a camera as a dispensable weight?”
“No, I consider a camera as a great way to keep some everlasting memories about this hike.”
“I’m sure your picture with the sunset and a beer in your hand will be great.”
“We’ll see. Thanks.” Sara clipped her camera on her backpack to be ready to take a picture as soon as she saw anything exciting.
“Maybe we’ll see a bear,” Sofia said.
“I can’t share your positive excitement about a huge predator crossing our way. It won’t like having us around, and will try to steal our food. That’s why we have everything in the container.”
“Which makes it impossible to grab a bar while we’re walking.”
“You shouldn’t eat while you’re walking that’ll give you side stitch,” Sara advised.
“What are you? My mom?”
“Your concerned friend.” The innocent smile in Sara’s face let Sofia forget her grumpy thoughts. And mention the word ‘friend’ still made Sofia’s heart jump. It was good to hear Sara call her a friend.
“I’m the lieutenant, I’ve gotta take care of you, so I should worry about you.”
“Do you want to carry my backpack so that I don’t have to do it?” Sara asked.
“I said I’ll take care of you, I’ll protect you, not that I want to play your boyfriend in kindergarten.”
“I didn’t have a boyfriend in kindergarten - I think.”
“Probably scared them all away with your charm.”
“Save your breath for the walk, detective.”
“Lieutenant.”
“Officer.”
“You think I don’t have my handcuffs with me?”
“By the look of your backpack you’ve got half of the department in there.”
“I do. So be careful what you say. I might leave you chained to a tree for a snack for the bears.”
“You wouldn’t do that, that would mean you failed taking care of me and you never fail doing your job.”
“I’m off duty.”
“Being a part of the police force means you’re never off duty.”
“If you go on like this I’ll be tired just because of your talking and not because of the walking.”
“It’s my pleasure to exhaust you.” Sara said as she grinned and took a picture of a flower.
“Bitch.”
“Beautiful, intelligent, talented, charming, humorous.”
“Beast in total control here.”
“Save your breath for the hike, honey,” Sara teased.
Sofia turned around quickly, threw an evil look at Sara, and went on walking. Sara smirked. She knew it would be fun to spend these three or four days with Sofia in the national park.
Sara took some pictures of Mount Conness and White Mountain and later of Kuna Crest and Sierra Crest, which told her the steepest part of their trek so far was over. It had been four hours and a few minutes since they’d left their car. She took a second for a deep breath. She loved the clear and cool air here. In Fresno it had been over seventy degrees, here it was maybe fifty-five. Their destination for the day was over 11,340 foot high, and it would be cold up there at night, another reason why Sara had taken her tent with her. It would help to keep her a little bit warmer.

“Can we take a little break?” Sofia asked after they hadn’t talked for almost an hour. It has been a nice kind of silence. Both were too much in their own thoughts, too concentrated on the path and the nature around them. They couldn’t be too far away from Rafferty Creek now.
“Sure, we’re not in a hurry.” They dropped the backpacks on the ground and sat next to them.
“I have to say the view is great and I really enjoy the nature.” Sofia took the chance and got some chocolate out of her backpack, which she offered to Sara, who took a small piece. Unlike Sofia, Sara didn’t believe chocolate would make her hike better; she believed every piece of chocolate would end up on her hips and make the hike more difficult.
“Have you been hiking in the Yosemite before?”
“No, I usually do treks down at the ocean,” Sofia answered. “I love the water and the hikes are almost sea level, easy to walk. If I go up in the mountain it’s for snowboarding.”
“That explains why your muscles are not used to this.”
“Yes and my last snowboard trip was over six months ago. The thin air here gives me a hard time too.”
“We can walk slower and make some more stops, there’s no time limit, we’re free to take our time.”
“As long as it won’t be that steep again, I’ll be fine. Do you come here often?”
“I try to spend at least one day every two weeks here or in SeKi,” Sara answered. “When the weather is good it can be an overnight hike too.”
“You should get a dog for some protection. A big dog to scare away the bears.”
“They really get to you, don’t they? I tell you what, I’ve seen a few bears while I was hiking but they never tried to attack me. It’s a strange feeling to see a bear in front of you, it’s not my favorite view but so far nothing had ever happened to me. You stay clear of them and they’ll not bother you.”
“They break your car windows when they see a shopping bag,” Sofia said.
“Smart animals,” Sara shot back.
“Scary.”
“I’ll protect you.”
“Don’t try to do my job.” Sofia offered some more chocolate to Sara, who simply shook her head and said, “You will die of a heart attack when a bear is crossing our path.”
“No, I’ll shoot it.”
Sara was shocked. “What? You don’t have?”
“Of course I do.” Sofia lifted her right cuff of her trousers a little bit so that Sara could see the handgun.
“You took a gun to our hiking weekend?”
“I’m a lieutenant, I feel naked without a gun. And it’s crazy to go to a place where wild animals think they’re the kings without protection.”
“I’m spending my time with a nutcase.”
“This nutcase makes you feel safer,” Sofia said.
“I never felt unsafe.”
“Nonetheless you’ll sleep better tonight knowing I’ve got a gun. And if there are no bears around, you never know what humans are around. If a guy tries to drag you into his tent”
“Usually they go for the blonde ones, I’m safe.”
“The last guy who tried to drag me anywhere found himself restrained in prison.”
“I can imagine that.” Sara stood up. “Let’s go on, a few more miles and we’re at Vogelsang Lake.”
“First of all it’s another six miles to Tuolumne Pass, you’re not the only one who read the map.”
“We’re halfway there.”
“Almost.”
“The worst is done.”
“Hopefully.” Sofia returned the backpack to her shoulders and followed Sara. She thought of another reason why snowboarding was more fun to her; she never had to climb a mountain with her board. You race down the mountain, get to the cable lift in the valley and let yourself be carried or pulled up to the top of the mountain again. That was the real way of exercising to her. Not climbing mountains. The next time Sara wanted to spend a few days in a national park, Sofia would suggest a horseback riding trip.

It was late afternoon when they arrived at the northeast shore campsite at Vogelsang Lake. While Sara finally could take all her photos without the weight of the backpack on her back, Sofia stripped down and jumped into the lake. The water was freezing and she started squeaking as soon as her head was out of the water.
“This is fricking cold!”
“And you’re surprised?” Sara took a picture of Sofia in the water.
“Stop that I’m in my underwear.”
“Well, nobody forced you to jump into the water in your underwear.”
“You want to see me skinny dipping?” Sofia asked.
“I never said that. I assumed you had a bathing suit in your backpack. Like the one we bought after you shopped for it for hours.”
“No space for that.” Sofia dove underwater to let out another scream. It was very good that the water contained her scream.
Sara started to unpack her backpack. She was hungry and wanted some warm food as soon as possible.
Dripping and with chattering teeth Sofia left the water to search for a big towel.
“That felt good.”
“At least you’re wearing black underwear. I’m sure that group of boys don’t agree with me, but you gave them a nice show by just walking out of the water in a hint of nothing.”
“Huh?” Sofia turned her head around. A few hundred yards away was a group of five or six boys, barely ten years old.
“Boys that age should play with cars instead of staring at an old woman.”
“I’m sure they appreciate the looks of Lieutenant Lascivious.”
“Why is it always a child or just boys looking at me? Can’t I attract somebody closer to my own age?” Sofia complained, rolling herself into her towel and pulling a long sleeve over her still wet underwear. With a few practiced moves she dropped her bra and her panties, put on some dry ones and left the cover of the towel to put on thick sweat pants.
“Again, you’re blonde, the dream of every boy. And men are nothing but old boys.”
“Wonderful. If men have to be attracted to me, why can’t it be a real man?”
“They’re all married and don’t want to risk trouble with their wife. I don’t think you’ll find a lot of single guys hiking here. The playground for them is in Vegas.”
“Yes, in Vegas I’d have men following me; at least until they saw my badge.”
“I never saw you in company of a guy.”
“First of all we usually never met socially and second, you don’t bring toys to work, do you?”
“Toys?”
“They were never more. I need a challenge, a positive challenge in a relationship.”
“Monique was a positive challenge?”
“She was challenge, positivewell, in the beginning, yes.”
“Felix is at least legal age”
“Felix, who calls you Investigator Incredible, is way too young. Seeing that you’re incredible to him, you can have a go.”
“No, it’s definitely you he wants.”
“Which gives him another example of, you can’t always have what you want. It’s a tough life but that’s the lesson you have to learn.” Sofia took two bottles of beer out of her backpack and put them into the lake. The natural way of cooling your beverage.
“What are you cooking for us?”
“Instant noodles, some carrots and a salami for you.”
“You bought salami?” Sofia was surprised. Why did Sara, the vegetarian, buy meat? And carried it all the way up to here.
“Yes I knew you would be hungry and I told you before, there’s no need for you not to eat meat just because I’m around. I won’t leave when you eat meat.”
“I can survive a few days without meat.”
“I know you can but there’s no reason for you to do that. Or are you trying to impress me?” Sara smirked cockily.
Sofia bent down to her, came very close to her face and whispered, “If I wanted to impress you, I’d have worn white underwear to swim in.”
“Now you’re flirting.”
“No, now I’m making you feeling hot. Need a bath?”
“That was a cheap try to get me out of my clothes.”
“Shall I come with you into the water?”
“Don’t you dare!”
“Too late.” Sofia grabbed Sara’s hand and pulled her in the direction of the lake.
“Stop it!”
“No.”
“If you get me in the water, you’ll come with me and then you won’t have anything dry to wear.”
“I’ll cope.”
“No!” Sara pushed all her weight against Sofia and stopped her only yards away from the water.
“There’s no way you can stop me. I’ll get you in there.” Sara knew that. Sofia was stronger, if she really wanted to, she’d get Sara in the water within the next few seconds.
“Let us at least strip off our clothes so that we’ve something warm for later.”
“If you try to escape”
“I won’t. Promise.” Sara sighed. She knew Sofia would catch her and then they’d both end up in the lake with their clothes on. It was better for both of them if Sara gave in and followed Sofia.
“Okay.” Sofia pulled her long sleeved shirt up over her head and kicked away her pants. There was a reason why she had only taken black underwear.
Sara folded her clothes on a rock and shuddered. That was cold water from the mountains. The afternoon sun would vanish in half an hour or so, it wasn’t that warm anymore.
“Do we really have to do that?”
“Yes.” Sofia took Sara’s hand and stepped into the water.
“Why?” Why did they have to go into the water? It felt ice cold.
“Because you’re not a pussy.” Quickly, Sofia dragged her arm around Sara’s waist and pulled her in the water. The scream Sara made was only stopped by the water when her head went under.
“I hate you!”
“No, you don’t.” Sofia splashed some water in Sara’s face.
“I do.” The brunette jumped to the blonde to push her head under water. Sofia noticed the attack early enough and escaped. For a couple of minutes they chased each other in the water before Sofia found herself in Sara’s hands and underwater.
“That.” She pushed Sofia’s head again under water after a few seconds for breathing.
“Is.” Back in to water.
“My.” One last time.
“Revenge.” She opened her grip and let Sofia breathe as long as she wanted.
“And now tell me you’re not feeling better than before.” The lieutenant said when they left the water.
“I’m feeling cold now.”
“And?”
“And fresh and hungry.”
“See.” Sofia took her towel that was still wet from her first jump in the lake. “We gave the lake a good christening.”
“I guess the christening of the lake was a few years ago.” Sara took her towel and wrapped herself in it.
“Probably, but I bet it wasn’t was good as ours. All the boys are watching with binoculars.”
“Boys will be boys.”
“Maybe they’ve got a cute guide.”
“Are you trying to pick somebody up? In that case a long weekend in San Jose would have been better. Go to a bar, chose, leave, take what you want and go home.”
“It sounds so cold when you say it that way.” Sofia laughed. She was back in her clothes and turned on the little gas heater for the noodles.
“I won’t waste any words for an act that is nothing more than satisfying your id.”
“Oh, Misses Freud is talking. Just to let you know, I’m not into that anymore. I enjoyed it in Vegas, but what happened in Vegas stays in Vegas. If I get somebody in my bed or if I go into somebody’s bed, it’s because I’m in a relationship.”
“I bet that broke a lot of hearts.”
“Yeah, some guys and chicks still try to change my mind. Thing is if you’re not careful in your private life somebody might use that against you in your professional life. The more responsibility I have the more careful I have to be.”
“True.” Sara got some carrots out of a bag for them. “How long do the noodles need?”
“According to this package two minutes in boiling water. We won’t cook the veggies?”
“No, that will take too much time. What about your salami? You want to cook it? Or eat it cold?”
“I can eat it cold, no problem.”
“Then I’ll get my tent out.”
“It won’t rain.” Sofia looked at the sky. A few harmless clouds were in the far skyline.
“Don’t bet on it.” Sara had too often put up her tent in the middle of the night because the weather had changed suddenly.
“I think positive.” Sofia put a slice of salami in her mouth. “Want a beer with dinner?”
“If you want to share.”
“Took them here so we can enjoy them in the sunset. You’re my guest.” Sofia got up and got the beer out of the water. Luckily it was still on the same spot she left it.
“You know.” Sara divided the noodles and handed Sofia a mug with her share as Sara took the bottle. “This is almost a perfect dinner.”
“Yeah, warm food, cold beer and we don’t have to tip the waiter.”
“We should have done this in Vegas.”
“We should have spent more time together in Vegas, seems like we do really enjoy it.”
“You think we would have enjoyed time together in Vegas?” Sara’s voice was serious, thoughtful.
“Probably not.”
“I wasn’t actually easy”
“Somebody once said it’s the privilege of a woman to be complicated. We’re not here to be understood, we’re here to be loved.”
“Nice saying.” Sara lost herself for a little moment in the sunset. Only a little bit of the sun was still visible, the rest had vanished behind a mountain. Immediately it got cooler and she grabbed her jumper.
“Can I ask you something? As always, no pressure to answer.”
“Ask me, Sara.” Sofia didn’t need pressure to answer Sara, she wanted to answer her, no matter what the question was. That was the best way the two of them to get to know each other better. She had the advantage with the old CSI files, it was only fair to answer Sara’s questions.
“Why did you leave Vegas without saying goodbye?”
“The easiest way to answer this question is saying, I said goodbye but you weren’t in the lab when I was there. But it would be a lie. After what happened to you, after Brass got shot, after Nick got kidnapped, I thought, something must be wrong with this shift. It seemed like somebody or something was trying to kill all of the night shift. I needed time, I asked for a leave of absence and went away for a few weeks. Meanwhile somebody offered me the job in San Jose and I took it. The perfect new beginning. I left Vegas once, came back because Brass got that job for me, the second time was for good. I needed to work in day time, I needed a new city and I needed a new challenge. I never said goodbye to you guys because I never came back.”
“Did you miss Vegas?”
“I missed working with you guys, yes. But I knew I had to stay away or I’d be caught again in Vegas.”
“It’s easier to forget when you’re far away.”
“True.”
“I hope when you want to escape San Jose for whatever reason, you’ll come down to Fresno.”
“And why would I do that? Why would I move to a little town in the middle of nowhere instead of an exciting place? New York for example.”
“You don’t strike me as a New York woman. You’re more sunshine, ocean, I don’t know, West Coast.”
“Really?”
“I won’t tell you to come to Fresno because of me, it’s your part to have a big ego. Don’t wait for something like that.”
“You said that, you only used different words. I got the hint in your lovely voice, Sara.”
“Taking about lovely voices…I have to say there’s this little accent in your voice I can’t”
“Don’t go there.” Sofia stopped her grinning.
“Okay.” Sara smiled. She would accept a stop if it was in a friendly tone.
“It’s something I got from my grandmother. She was from England. My mom worked really hard to lose her accent, I always liked my grandmother’s accent but my mom made me speak the proper American way. That’s why there’s only a hint every now and then.”
“I like it.” Sara smiled.
“I can try to talk to you in British English.”
“Nah, I’d laugh at you when you’d threaten to kick my arse.”
“Don’t try to imitate the Queen’s English.”
“Sorry. Pom.”
“You are trying to be handcuffed again, aren’t you?”
“You don’t really have them with you, do you?”
“I’ve got my gun.”
“Yeah I can understand that - more or less. But handcuffs?”
“No, you’re safe. But I’m sure our little friends would like to play with them.”
“Probably. Same for your gun.”
“There’s no way they’ll come close to it. We might need it if we get lost in the wilderness and I have to shoot us dinner. I’m afraid we won’t find enough berries to keep us alive.”
“We won’t get lost and we’ll survive up to a month without food.”
“A month without chocolate? No way. I’d kill myself.” Sofia grabbed her bag and got a big bar of chocolate out. “Peanuts in chocolate, can you imagine a better dessert?”
“A bowl of fruit?”
“Too healthy.” Sofia broke off a big piece of chocolate and gave it to Sara.
“Tell me how you stay that thin with eating all this junk food and candy stuff?”
“I’m a daily user of the department’s gym. An hour or two workout, fruits for breakfast, salad for lunch, steak and salad for dinner, followed by candy on the sofa.”
“Amazing.”
“All for the sake of chocolate. And I have to stay fit, I’m not captain yet. Not to mention I like it when people stare at me, when they want my body and I can kick them away ‘cause they’re not my type. Just because I’m blonde and sexy it doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”
“Who said you’re sexy?”
“You did in San Jose.”
“Must be a misunderstanding.”
“Sure.” Sofia smirked. “You don’t deny I’m smart?”
“No, that would be an obvious lie.”
“Okay, it’s more important to me that you think I’m smart than sexy.”
“How’s that?”
“Well, I know you prefer to be surrounded by smart people and you don’t really care how they look. You don’t judge somebody by their looks, you judge them on their behavior and their intelligence. Being a geek, intelligence is important for you.”
“Do you really think I’m a geek?”
“Yes.”
“I’m a scientist. You were one when you were with the CSI. You were a supervisor there, you were an über-geek.”
“Was I?”
“Yes, you were like Grissom.”
“I was like Grissom? I take that as a compliment.”
“It is one. But in one thing you really sucked.”
“What’s that?”
“The weather. Look at those clouds, we’ll be in a late summer rain in the next couple of minutes.” Sara jumped on her feet and got her tent out of the backpack.
“Fwhy?” Sofia stared at the clouds. They came closer and were obviously filled with rain. They hung dark and heavy over the next mountain.
“I told you.” Sara was happy that she was an experienced tent builder, she needed normally less than three minutes to have her tent ready.
Sofia packed their stuff up and looked for some shelter.
“What kind of campground is this? Are we supposed to stay in the toilet while it’s raining?”
“People are supposed to take a tent with them.” Sara was sure she managed to get her tent up in a new personal best time.
“Not if they have so many other things to carry.”
“Like guns, chocolate, beer.”
“Yes.”
“Get the shovel.”
“Why?” Should she dig a tunnel or a cave? Sofia knew she was good and fast but not that fast. That wasn’t a challenge, that was a mission impossible.
“You can earn your shelter in the tent by making a little trench around the tent. If it rains a lot we need some protection otherwise the tent floor might get wet.”
“I get some shelter in your baby tent?”
“Can’t let you die in the rain. Be nice to my tent.” It was the biggest version of a one person tent, Sara hated her last one, that was barely enough for her and her stuff. Once she was inside she couldn’t move anymore and half of her stuff had to lie on her all night. Now there was enough space for a backpack and she could still turn in her sleep without crashing in the soft tent wall.
Sofia dug around the tent, trying to make her way down to the lake so the water had a way to flow down.
“I feel the first drops, you’re far enough, come in.” Sara yelled. She took off her shoes and climbed in the tent. Their insulation blankets were on the ground, the backpacks on top, there hadn’t been more time for preparation.
“Why do you always have to be right?”
“I’m Miss Right, first name Always.” Sara chuckled.
“Seems like.” Sofia closed the tent flap. The raindrops became heavier and they were both happy to be inside.
“Well, it will be very”
“Cozy?” Sofia offered.
“Narrow. Can you take all the hard things out of your backpack?”
“Why?”
“We’ll use it as a pillow - same with mine. This way we save some space.”
“I leave the hard things down here?”
“Yes.”
“Well, the bear container can go outside, nothing will get wet in there and if I cover it with there should be a rain cover at the bottom of my backpack, it’s not that obvious to all the bears around what it is.”
“That might work out.”
“We’ll have a lot of spacekind of.” Sofia filled their bear container up with food and drinks, covered them in her rain cape and set it outside.
“If Yogi comes along and tries to steal my chocolate I’ll shoot him.”
“The scary thing is I believe you would.” Sara grinned and got her sleeping bag out.
“No one steals my chocolate.” Sofia opened her sleeping bag. “So we’ll be stuck in the tent for the rest of the night?”
“You’re free to sleep outside but once you’re out and soaking wet I won’t let you in again.”
“I prefer the tent, it’s cozy.” She lay down. “And we walked a lot, we deserve a long rest to continue the walk tomorrow.”
“Eleven miles.”
“Around the lake, I hope we don’t have to climb too much.”
“We’ll be alright.”
“If it starts to snow”
“Don’t be silly!”
“I’m cautious.”
“There won’t be any snow.”
“Hopefully not.”
“If there is, you’ll be frozen to death.”
“I won’t, I’ll keep close to you and steal your warmth.”
“You stay in your sleeping bag.”
“Scared?”
“No, I’m giving you friendly advice.”
“I’ll take it.”
“Good. Now shut up, turn off the flashlight and move closer to me, it’s getting cold.”
“As you wish.” Sofia grinned.
“Don’t smile that smug.”
“I’m not.” Now she did.
“Liar.”
“Get some rest, honey. I’ll take care of you.”
“Don’t shoot a boy.”
“I’ll try not to.”
“Good night, Sofia.”
“Good night, Sara. And you know what?”
“What?”
“What you said about staying in San Jose when I want to get laidmaybe I want to get laid by you and now I’ve got what I want.”
“We share a tent because it’s raining. You’d have every reason to hate me if I make you stay outside.”
“Maybe I planned it this way.”
“Sure, you planned the weather.”
“You don’t think I can do things like this?”
“Good night, Sofia.” Sara shook her head, smiled, and closed her eyes. Years ago she’d have kicked Sofia out of the tent for these words, now she just smiled and relaxed. She knew she could trust the lieutenant.

The second day was easier, it took a little bit over seven hours for the eleven miles with a lot of little breaks along the way.
Of course there hadn’t been any snow in the night and the rain was also gone when they woke up. Sara woke up and found herself under Sofia’s arm, the blonde quietly sleeping. Carefully she left the arm and the tent to brew some coffee.
“You coming for a swim willingly today?” Sofia asked after she had dropped two bottles of beer in the lake where they were camping today. Sara had put up the tent to give it some sunshine. She wasn’t sure how dry it was that morning when she had to roll it up. With the last sunshine of the day it should be completely dry for the night.
“I will, yes.” She left her clothes next to the tent and walked to the lake, where Sofia was waiting knee-deep in water.
“Is that water getting colder every day?”
“No, that’s your imagination. We’re not that high anymore, the water should be warmer,” Sofia said and stepped deeper in the water.
“Feels cold.” Sara wasn’t sure if another bath was a good idea but before she could change her mind, Sofia started to kick water on her. She left Sara no other choice than fighting back. When the big water fight ended both women were soaking wet. This time it was Sara’s head that got pushed under water, Sofia’s revenge for the day before.
“Maybe I shouldn’t go into a lake with you anymore,” Sara said after she had enough air again to speak.
“I’d make you go swimming.”
“If I get your gun”
“I won’t let you get my gun.”
“You were in the water, the gun was in the tent, it was a few feet away from me, there was no chance you’d got it before I had it.”
“Won’t happen again.”
“There won’t be a lake tomorrow. We’ll be in a nice cabin, a hot shower somewhere and a real bed.”
“You slept good the last night.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time when I woke up, you were sleeping and you seemed to be very comfortable.”
“You wrapped your arm around me.”
“It was cold, you were warm, my body looks automatically for some warmth when it’s getting cold.”
“Automatically? You’re saying that happens while you’re deep asleep and you can’t do anything to stop it.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t have any evidence that will prove beyond reasonable doubt I’m lying. In dubio pro reo.”
“Don’t start the law thing again. We’ve got a long weekend off, think about something else.” Sara poured water over the instant rice. Their dinner for the night, together with some more carrots and salami for Sofia.
“Snowboarding.”
“What?”
“We can talk about snowboarding. Have you ever tried that?”
“No.”
“You’re a surfer but not a boarder?”
“I do the real boarding.”
“Snowboarding.”
“Surfing.”
“Well, the next long weekend we have we should go to a place to snowboard.”
“What makes you think I’ll spend another long weekend with you?”
“I’m a lieutenant, I know people.”
“Ever thought why you’re only a lieutenant and not a captain?”
“Yes, because I don’t kiss arses.”
Sara started laughing until there were tears on her face.
“What?” Sofia looked confused at her.
“Your grandmother was speaking to me.”
“What?”
“You said.” Sara had to stop because she was still laughing. “You said you don’t kiss ARSES. Granny Curtis was talking to me.”
“I did?” Now Sofia had to laugh as well. “It’s all your fault. Mentioning my little accent I dreamed of my grandmother last night, thought a lot of her and, well, that must have come from deep down”
“Yes, very deep. But cute.”
“Bitch.”
“I know I worked hard for that title.”
“I bet you enjoyed it. So, do we have a date for snowboarding?”
“A date? I don’t think we’ll ever be on a date for snowboarding. But if you want to teach me how to snowboard I’ll take the offer.”
“Good. I guess we might have some good snow in Tahoe in November. Knowing the two of us, we’ll have plenty of overtime by that time. How many hours per week do you make?”
“I try to be under five, you know, my new private life.”
“Oh yes, I forgot. It’s still weird to think you’re not married to the lab anymore.”
“I think it becomes me.”
“It does, definitely. Do you have clothes for snowboarding?”
“I’ve got some thick clothes”
“No need to buy them, we’re the same height, should be around the same size, you can have something of mine. For the unlikely event of not loving boarding it might be better to wait after that weekend before we get you a flashy outfit.”
“It has to keep me warm, I don’t care about the rest.”
“That my old Sara.”
“What do you mean? Old Sara?”
“Practical. Who cares what’s hot this season, it has to keep me warm and that’s it.”
“Are you suggesting I’m wearing ugly, old fashioned clothes?”
“No, but you don’t need to have the newest, priciest stuff to feel good.”
“No, I don’t.”
“I like that.”
“Yeah, that’s why you walk around the whole time in suits.”
“They suit me.” Sofia grinned.
“Yes, they do.”
“Can’t be a cop in jeans.” Sofia stood up and got them the beer and the bag with chocolate.
“You were a CSI in a red dress. And you got out of your dress in front of the guys.”
“Maybe your source should have mentioned to you, I was wearing a blue jump suit before I took of my red dress. Nobody saw anything and I did wear underwear.”
“I was assuming you’re not wearing an evening dress without underwear.”
“Sometimes I do. Underwear is visible if you wear something very tight and slightly transparent.”
“You love playing with your sex appeal, don’t you?”
“It can be helpful sometimes to be a stunning blonde.”
“And your ego is again bigger than Mount Whitney. Smug bitch.”
“I’m proud of it.” Sofia grinned and paused for a few seconds. “You ever thought about climbing Mount Whitney?”
“I have, yes. You have to apply for it. Why?”
“We could do that next year. It’s what? A two day trip?”
“Yes, two days. You can make it in one day but it’s recommended for two days.”
“Oh well, we can make three out of it, have some nice breaks, you can take millions of pictures and I can have a beer for lunch and dinner.”
“You should use the space for something more sensible.”
“Why? You’ve got the tent, it’s perfect for the two of us. We’ll never feel cold.”
“Uh hum.” Sara smirked. Did Sofia just invite herself into Sara’s tent again? Maybe they should have a conversation about that one day. It was a one person tent, not two.
“You don’t like the idea of being warm?”
“Maybe I’ll replace you by that time with somebody else and you need to sleep alone in your own tent while I’ve somebody to warm me.”
That was Sofia’s chance to ask Sara what happened to Grissom, if there was somebody else in her life or if she was looking/interested in somebody else. She could ask all these questions with a wide smile to make it obvious she wasn’t expecting an answer but somehow she knew, it wouldn’t be a good topic.
“This is a chick trip, we don’t take guys with us.”
“Don’t we?”
“No, if we do, give me five minutes in a club and I’ll find a guy for my tent. That is no problem I get them very fast if I want it that way.” Sofia grinned.
“I don’t doubt that I saw you on the beach. You’ll get your toyboy.”
“As I said it’s a chick trip, we don’t need men. I’ll keep you warm if it’s cold. Or I’ll get you a thick sleeping bag.”
“You know they’re heavy and need a lot of space?”
“We can take a donkey with us, to carry all our stuff. This way the trip is much nicer for us, we have more time and energy to enjoy the trip.”
“I don’t think you’re allowed to take a donkey with you.”
“Bugger. Well in that case you’ve to carry the tent and I’ve to carry the beer and chocolate. We’ll get all we need up to the top.”
Sara smiled. She wasn’t sure if chocolate and beer were a part of all the things she needed but she knew they were parts of the things Sofia needed. So yes, they would carry all these things on top of Mount Whitney.

November

“I hate snow.“ Sara kicked her boots away and dropped herself on the sofa. There was no way she would touch those things again today. All the pain. And all the pain that would come to her later.
“You weren’t that bad.” Sofia closed the door behind them and tried not to grin. They were meeting for a long weekend at Lake Tahoe. Sofia wanted to return the favor. Sara had tried in summer to teach her to surf; now it was Sofia’s time to teach Sara how to move on another board: a snowboard. Sofia had been a snowboarder since her early childhood. Sara, always a child of the ocean and sand, had no experience in snow sports.
It was the first week in November, snow had hit Tahoe a week ago and they took advantage out of that. After the busy days over Halloween Sara drove to San Jose, got Sofia in her car and both were on their way to a winter wonderland.
“Not that bad means I was bad.”
“No, that bad means you were good. It was your first time on a snowboard, what did you expect? Remember me on the surfboard? I was a disaster.”
“You weren’t too bad,” Sara responded with a crooked smile.
“Not too bad means I was bad.” Sofia took Sara’s boots and put them neatly next to the door. “You’ve got over twelve hours to relax, shall I make you a hot chocolate?”
“Yes. Please.” Sofia got herself up and walked to the little kitchenette. They went shopping before they arrived here, only a few things, but enough to survive the weekend. Instead of living in a motel or hotel, they rented a little cabin, away from the shops and the life in the village.
“Instant rice? Instant noodles? Instant potatoes? What would you prefer as our first dinner?”
“A huge steak, fries and a salad.”
“I’m afraid that has to wait until next week. I can heat the frozen veggies, the rice, and make a curry sauce with that.”
“Better than a five star restaurant. What about ice cream?”
“Sure. You will get your ice cream with Irish Cream.”
“And a cookie?”
“And a cookie and a banana.”
“As I said, better than a five star restaurant.” Sofia took the milk container, poured some milk in a pot and started to heat it up. There was no way she would make them a hot chocolate with water. They were active the whole day, they deserved real milk.
“The rice needs twenty minutes, the veggies ten minutes.”
“Twenty minutes? Didn’t you say instant?”
“I found some real rice, we can save the instant rice for lunch, when we have no time. Can you handle a few more minutes without food?”
“Sure, I’ll watch the news.”
“And I’ll take a bath. If I want this body in a acceptable condition tomorrow, I’ll treat it to a hot bath.”
“Stay with the non-swimmers, I don’t have my bright red swimsuit with me.”
“Okay, Pam.” Sara grinned and left the room.
Sofia threw her evil eyes at Sara’s back, but she didn’t feel them or care about that.
“Pam.” Sofia turned on the TV and looked for the news. Though she was on holiday, she wanted to know what was happening in the world. The news started with a report about the visit of the British Queen. Not the kind of news she was interested in. Sofia moved her attention back to the hot chocolate, found the beverage lightly cooking. She poured it in a big mug and walked to the bathroom.
“Ariel, I’ve got hot chocolate. You want to have yours now or later?”
“You can serve it now, James.”
Sofia opened the door and saw only Sara’s head above the bathwater. The rest of her body was somewhere under a mountain of foam. Even if Sofia wanted to catch a glimpse of Sara’s body there was no chance, all she could see was her head.
“Wow, you look like you’re having a foam party.”
“I am. I’d invite you but without your red swimsuit you’re quite useless.”
“That’s alright, I’ll be your butler and take care of our dinner, just in case you get lost in all this foam.” Sofia set the mug next to Sara. “The Queen is in our country.”
“Since the nineteenth of October 1781 we’re free from the Queen. If she’s here or not doesn’t affect our country anymore.”
“Nineteenth of October 1781? What about the fourth of July 1776?”
“That’s when Jefferson declared our independence, but five years later we finally won, with the help of France, in Yorktown, the war for our independence. Between the declaration and the real freedom were five years.”
That was something Sofia was suppose to know. Her father had taken to all these war places, told her so many stories about the wars and she didn’t pay attention. That was more than obvious after Sara’s little explanation. She shouldn’t let him know.
“It’s always a highlight of my day to learn something from you, little geek. And now drink your hot chocolate before it’s cold.”
“Yes Ma’am.” Sara smiled and grabbed the mug. Her arm was deep red and Sofia wasn’t sure for a moment if Sara would boil herself in the bathtub.
“You know.” Sofia nodded to Sara’s red arm. “When you put a frog in boiling water, it jumps out”
“But if you set it in warm water and boil it then, the frog will stay in the water,” Sara finished the sentence. “You know that’s a lie too. The water”
“Sara, one lecture per day, you can tell me about the frogs tomorrow.” Sofia laughed and left the bathroom before Sara had the chance to finish her sentence.
With her own hot chocolate she went back to the sofa and the news. The Queen was gone and the attention was now in the Far East. Some problems with China. Sofia wondered if there ever had been a day that the news started with something positive from their own country. Why do people always want to see what bad things happened in the world? Why was nobody interested in something good? It seemed like only when it came to sports, was good news appreciated.
She lost herself in the news, with an eye on the oven every now and then, and enjoying the heat that crawled slowly through her body thanks to the hot chocolate. That was one of the reasons why she loved winter time. She could enjoy a hot chocolate in the early evening and watch the snow falling down. Maybe she should go to a winter city one day. San Jose wasn’t exactly the best place to see snow.
Sara came out twenty minutes later dressed in a green flannel pajamas.
“Green? What a lovely Christmas color.”
“Bite me.”
“I prefer my dinner. Sorry, maybe next time.”
Sara puffed and went to the oven. She lifted the lit of the pot and said dryly: “Sofia, you know, if you turn a hot plate on, it actually can cook something.”
“What?”
“Our veggies are still cold, you never turned on the hot plate. The rice is fine.”
“I forgotyou didn’t?”
“No.”
“Oh shame.”
“Ten more minutes, maybe eight.”
“In that case I’ll have a shower. That won’t take longer than five minutes.”
“Stay safe, Pam.”
“Keep your eyes on the food, Jamie.”
“Jamie?”
“Jamie Oliverhe cooked naked sometimes, but you can stay in your Christmas pj’s.”
“Get lost.” Now it was Sara’s time to give her the evil eye. Sofia was as unimpressed as Sara was before and went giggling in the bathroom.
It took Sofia only a little more than five minutes and by the time she was back in the lounge, wearing a black sweat suit, Sara had put the food on two plates, arranged an open bottle of wine on the table in front of the sofa, wine glasses, and was just about the carry the food over.
“Perfect timing”
“That’s one of my strengths.”
“I leave that without a comment in the room.” Sara smirked and sat down. Sofia made the decision to do the same and joined Sara.
“Thanks for cooking.”
“Thanks for re-cooking.” Sofia poured the wine and gave one glass to Sara. “To us, the new heroines of the mountain.”
“To all our bones, still not broken and hopefully never will be.”
“You won’t break a bone, stupid. I’ll take care of you. A good lieutenant takes care of their CSI.”
“I hope so.” They had a sip of wine and then started their food without a word. It was a pleasant silence, neither felt the pressure to say something. They enjoyed the food, lost in their own thoughts and happy to be here. Sofia had to admit, it never felt bad or uncomfortable when she and Sara were just sitting together, eating and not saying anything. It seemed like they didn’t need to talk all the time. Usually these silent moments ended in some story of their personal life.
Sofia still didn’t dare to ask Sara anything specific about her past. She considered the investigator as a friend, a close friend, but she didn’t want to risk that by asking questions Sara wasn’t ready to answer or to talk about. Whenever she felt like telling Sofia something about her childhood or later private life, she would do it.
Same was for Sofia. She had only told Sara pieces of her life, every now and then a little bit, and Sara never asked. Both women knew, the other would listen, if one of them wanted to tell something the other was fine with just sitting somewhere in silence or talking about other things. They didn’t have useless small talk, they talked about a lot of things, last week they lost themselves in a conversation about Socrates on the phone when they were supposed to plan their holiday trip.
“What do you think of leaving the dishes for tomorrow and a long evening with old movies?” Sofia asked suddenly.
“Leaving dishes sounds good. What kind of movies?”
“I bought a collection of Hitchcock movies. The masterpieces, including Psycho, The Birds, Vertigo, The Man Who Knew Too Much, Marnie, Rope, Saboteur, Torn Curtain and so on. Some old, really great crime movies.”
“We’re on holiday.”
“You didn’t strike me as a fan of Disney.”
“As a matter of fact, I do love Disney. But I adore Hitchcock. You get the movie ready, I’ll bring the ice cream.”
“Don’t forget the cookie, the Irish Cream and the banana.”
“I wouldn’t dare to.” Sara laughed. She was looking forward to this dessert herself and it took her only two minutes to create a big bowl for each of them.
Covered under a wool blanket they started the first movie, The Man Who Knew Too Much. That was one of Sara’s all time favorite movies and one of the few movies that actually made her want to sing. When Doris Day started her “Que sera sera” Sara couldn’t stop herself and sang the song quietly with the actress. No wonder Misses Day got an Oscar for this song, it was an evergreen.
“So you like Doris Day.” It was more a statement Sofia made at the end of the movie than a question.
“I like that song, yes.”
“It’s a great song, she was a good actress. Birds? Frenzy? Psycho?”
“You sure you can take a shower tomorrow if we watch Psycho now?”
“If not you’ll have to join me and protect me or I’ll go for a foam bath like you did today. Besides, I’m a lieutenant, a movie can’t scare me, I know reality.”
“You know, things like this happen in reality, you see it daily, that’s the scary thing about it.”
“So do you.”
“Yeah, but I’m the one who feels sorry for the monster in the horror movies.”
“You are a very special person, Sara Sidle.”
“Thank you, Lieutenant Curtis. Your power of observation is fascinating.”
“Just like the rest of me.” Sofia got up and changed the movie, waiting for a comment from Sara. When nothing came, she turned around and grinned. “No comment on that?”
“I remembered Bambi; the suggestion Thumper’s dad made: “When you’ve got nothing nice to say, just shut up.”
“I wish more people would remember that.” Sofia sat down and pressed the start button. “In your case that means, you’ll be quiet for a long time, I guess,” she added.
“See Sofia, that would have been your personal Bambi moment.”
“I’m sorry, I’ll try to remember the next time.” Sofia smirked and took a sip of wine.

It was after the famous shower scene that Sara’s head slowly dropped on Sofia’s shoulder. Barely moving her head, Sofia took a look at her. Sara was sleeping, looking for some comfort on Sofia’s shoulder for her head. Sofia moved her arm around Sara’s left shoulder to make it more comfortable for her. It looked like snowboarding made so Sara tired not even a classic horror movie could keep her awake.
Sofia had switched from Hitchcock movie back to TV when she felt Sara was about to wake up. For a second it seemed like Sara realized she was in Sofia’s embrace and she wanted to shake the arm away and push herself away from the lieutenant, but then she changed her mind and relaxed again, moving her head a little bit. Sofia had been willing to let Sara go as soon as she wanted, but when she saw Sara changed her mind and didn’t want to move away, Sofia smiled.
“Don’t smile at me like that.” Sara’s eyes were closed.
“I’m not smiling.”
“Liar. You are.”
Okay, maybe she was.
“It’s just a little smile.”
“It’s a smug smile, I know it. You feel smug because I stayed in your arms.”
“In my arm, it’s only one. And I’m not smiling because I’m smug, I’m smiling because you stayed. That means you trust me at least a little bit.”
“Of course I trust an lieutenant, they take care of the CSIs.”
“Right now you don’t trust the lieutenant, right now you trust me as a person.” Sofia teased her softly. When Sara thought she could play with Sofia, she had to bear the consequences. Fact was, Sara didn’t see her as a lieutenant right now.
“As I said, smug.”
“I’m not smug, I’m right.”
“You are. If I didn’t trust you as a person, I wouldn’t be here. I don’t go on holiday with people I don’t trust.”
“If that’s your way to tell me I’m special, then thank you. I knew that all the time.”
“Smug.”
“Realistic.”
“Sure. Try to relax, lieutenant.”
“Re” Sofia stopped before she could finish the question. Her first impulse was to ask how Sara got the idea she wasn’t relaxed. She just started the word when she realized, she wasn’t relaxed. Far from it. Her pulse was way too fast and her heartbeat felt like she was running a marathon ever since Sara had started to talk to her. With every word, Sara’s breath gently hit Sofia’s neck and made her heartbeat run. With every word Sofia had to try harder to relax, to get her vital signs down to normal. Of course, being so close to Sofia, Sara had felt that.
She looked down at the investigator who was already sleeping again and could swear, it was Sara who had a smug smile on her lips.

When Sara woke up she found herself in bed. The digital clock on the bed stand showed eight o’clock. Time to get up and have breakfast. A look to the other bed showed her Sofia was already awake and not in the room. Still in her pajamas, Sara walked into the lounge, where she found Sofia with a cup of coffee.
Without a word Sofia poured a cup for Sara, handed it smiling over to her and went on reading the yesterday’s newspaper. Thankful for the extra minute of silence, which gave her the chance to wake up completely, Sara sipped the coffee. Hot and black. Perfect.
“Good morning.” Yes, after a little bit of coffee she could talk. How good that Sofia knew that.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”
“How did I end up in bed?” All Sara could remember, she fell asleep on the sofa, she couldn’t remember waking up and going to bed.
“You can’t remember? We had hot sex and after that you were so exhausted, you fell asleep on the sofa and I carried you to your bed.” Sofia said sincerely.
“No way.” Sara eyed her suspiciously.
“Yeah, I was quite disappointed about that too. You just rolled over and slept.”
“I believe you, that I fell asleep on the sofa, I even believe you carried me to my bed but I absolutely refuse to believe the first part of your story.”
“Maybe I made that up. Telling you that you snored on the sofa so I carried you to bed doesn’t sound so exciting.”
“I don’t snore.”
“Says who?”
“Say I.”
“And how often do you listen to yourself sleep?”
“I don’t snore.” Sara turned around and got some bread out of the fridge.
“Want some toast?”
“Yes please, we need energy for a new day on the snowboard.”
“My body isn’t that happy about our plan, I might have to”
“There’s no way you can escape the snow, Sara.”
“If we go only for a few hours and then after a late lunch have a walk in the snow?”
“You’ll never learn how to jump like a champion if you skip practice.”
“I’m fine just to survive.”
“You will, promise.”
“Okay.” Sara had another sip. “Sofia?”
“Yes?”
“Next time, just leave me on the sofa or wake me up. There’s no need for you to carry me to bed.”
“The sofa isn’t the best place for a good night sleep and I don’t mind carrying you. You’re not heavy, I’m in good shape, I can manage to carry you a few yards.”
“I know you’re superwoman but do your intervertebral disks know that too?”
“They do, I trained them well.”
“You’re smug again.”
“I’m right.”
“Arrogant.”
“Still right.”
“I won’t go further in this discussion.” Sara made a grimace and put two slices of toast on a plate for Sofia.
The lieutenant was smiling, knowing she won this round.

Sofia allowed Sara to finish her snowboard practice two hours earlier than the day before. They brought their stuff back to the cabin, changed into snowshoes and had a walk in the white forest. It was clear to both of them that their walk would end sooner or later in a snowball fight and both were surprised when they managed not to throw snowballs at each other for the first half hour.
“I’ve got half a kilo of snow in my jumper.” Sara complained.
“If all that is still snow you’re cooler than I thought. It should be all water now.”
“Smart ass.”
“You think about my ass?”
“How I can kick it, yes.”
“That’s all? Pity.”
“You think I’d say anything that would bring that smug smile back in your face?”
“You will, sooner or later. Go and have a shower, I’ll start with our dinner.”
“She’s getting bossy.” Sara mumbled.
Sofia bit back the comment that she had always been a higher rank than Sara. She ignored the water down her back and started to heat up the instant noodles and prepared some salad.
“Smells good.” Sara came back in her green pajamas and wet hair.
“Almost done. We could have an egg with the salad, if you want.”
“Yes.” Sara walked to the fridge. “Sofia?”
“Uh hum?” Sofia stopped in front of the bathroom door.
“Why didn’t you get any steaks for yourself? You don’t have to eat vegetarian food all the time just because I’m with you.”
“I know, but I enjoy a few days without meat. Will make my first steak next week something special.”
“I hope you won’t lose your strength without your protein boost.”
“Snowboarding with you is a boost better than any protein boost.” Sofia smirked and closed the door behind herself.
Sara laughed quietly. Getting her back on her feet and carrying her to bed was probably a good workout for Sofia. She carried her in her bed. Crazy woman. But she had to admit, she liked that. She liked spending time with Sofia, she liked walking in the snow, watching movies, falling asleep and even snowboarding with her.
Why didn’t they get along that well years ago, when both were working in Las Vegas? This question popped up in her mind quite often. Why? Because at that time there was only work in Sara’s life? And when that changed, it was Grissom she spent time with. There was never a thought or the idea of spending time with Sofia. They saw each other at work, they shared cases, occasionally a breakfast, but that was it. Nothing more. No private talk, no activity after work.
She was really happy that a coincidence had brought them at the same time to the same motel in July. They worked in different cities, they had different lives, different colleagues, but they spent quality time together. Hell, if she remembered right, they saw each other every two weeks, when one or both of them had a day off. She had sleep over at Sofia’s place and a few of her things in the other woman’s apartment. Crazy. For her, it was a crazy miracle she enjoyed a lot.
“Are you sleeping now while you’re cooking?” Sara shrugged. She hadn’t heard the blonde woman leaving the bathroom.
“Just thinking.”
“Of course.”
“Your dinner didn’t burn.”
“I know.” Sofia walked to the fridge. “What would you like to drink?”
“Honestly? A cup of tea.”
“What kind?”
“It feels like ChristmasI don’t suppose we have something like apple and cinnamon?”
“No.” Sofia managed not to laugh. “Peppermint?”
“Alright.”
“I could make a new hot chocolate.”
“Maybe later. As a dessert.”
“With marshmallows.”
“Of course you would add some sugar.”
“I’m a sugar junkie.”
“I got that.” Sara slipped an egg on each plate, added the noodles and the salad and carried the plates to the little table at the sofa. It never crossed her mind that they could use the big table for their dinner. Why should they sit on chairs if they had a sofa?
“More Hitchcock or something else?”
“More Hitchcock. I’ll try not to fall asleep again.”
“It’s my turn today.”
“I’ll wake you up, there’s no way that I can carry you to your bed.”
“As long as you wake me up gently.”
“Some snow?” Sara offered with an evil smile.
“That would be the death of both of us.”
“I love a certain amount of risk in my life.”
“Don’t risk too much.”
“Never.” Sara smiled.
“You like these word fights, don’t you?”
“As long as I win, yes.”
“You’ll lose.”
“Try me.”
“I already do.”
“Try harder.”
“I could make you shut up within a second.”
“You could, yes. But not by playing fair.”
“Who said I’d play fair?”
“You wouldn’t do anything else with me.”
Sofia sighed. “You won.” She had nothing to say against that. Of course she would never say anything that would hurt Sara and that would be the only way to make her shut up. Sometimes winning wasn’t that important, it was more like a win would end up as a real loss at the end. She preferred to lose a little part of the game but being the winner at the end of the game.
“I talked to Greg this week.”
“Really?” Sofia was surprised. She thought Sara didn’t have any contacts in Vegas anymore.
“Yeah. I thought, I should send him an email, after I ignored the last ones he sent me. They are all fine, two new guys are in the lab and Catherine is on a constant war with Ecklie. It seems like he isn’t that happy of her way being a supervisor. Maybe he has simply a problem with all supervisors.”
“At least if they’re not in his ass.”
“Nobody wants to be there.”
“True.” Sofia took their empty plate and brought it to the sink, ran some water over it and started on her hot chocolate. This way she gave Sara some space to think about if she wanted to continuing talking about Vegas or if she preferred to change the topic. Sara took the chance and changed the topic.
“Rope?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Shall we watch Rope?”
“Yes. I forgot what that movie was about that’s alright.”
“Can’t help you there.” Sara started the TV and DVD player, dug some potato chips out of a bag and covered herself under the woolen blanket.
“You’re feeling cold?”
“No, but it’s nice and cozy under a blanket.” Sara lifted the blanket so that Sofia could slip under it as well.
“Thanks.” She gave Sara the hot chocolate.
“Thanks to you.”
They turned their heads toward the TV.

A movie later Sara’s head was back on Sofia’s shoulder, this time she was awake, just looking for a comfortable position. They both knew ‘The Birds’, they both had seen the movie a few times.
“Did you ever get attacked by birds?” Sofia asked, putting her arm around Sara’s shoulder. This time, there was no sign of Sara being uncomfortable for a second. She accepted Sofia’s arm, relaxed.
“Yes, I did. In spring time when I was at university. They must have had a nest somewhere, and were trying to protect their babies. I didn’t know I was an intruder, but when I couldn’t find anybody who threw something on my head, I discovered the bird, sitting on a bench and looking very furious, down at me. Seconds later the bird flew down, I had to duck to protect my head.”
“What kind of bird?”
“I can’t remember, it was quite big. I found out later, I was bleeding from the first attack.”
“So this movie is something special to you, it’s like your life story.”
“Oh no.” Sara laughed. “I survived with a little wound and it was only one bird. By the way, where were you? You didn’t take care of your CSI that time.”
“You weren’t a CSI at that time and I wasn’t with the police force either. I promise, if there’s a bird tomorrow attacking you, I’ll protect you.”
“I don’t think any bird wants to be out in this weather.”
“You never know.”
“And I don’t have to worry because I’ve got you.”
“Exactly.”
Sara paused, her eyes on the screen. More and more seagulls were appearing onscreen.
“Do you know why I left Grissom?”
Sofia forgot to breathe for a moment. Did Sara really ask that or was it only in her mind? They never talked about Sara and Grissom, they never ever came only close to this topic. Sofia would have never dared to asked anything that might have brought them to this topic. And now Sara offered to talk about the most juicy and secret relationship in the LVPD in years. Sofia’s ears must have played a practical joke on herself.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Do you know why I left Grissom?” Sara repeated calmly.
“No. All the time we worked together you and he were officially only supervisor and investigator. When it came out the two of you had a relationship, the thing in the desert happened, or because of that, your relationship went public and I was gone before you came back to work. So no, I have no idea why you left Grissom, didn’t even know it was you who ended the relationship.”
“I left him.”
“You want to tell me why?” It seemed like Sara was about to do that but Sofia wanted to make sure, it was really something Sara wanted to do. “You don’t have to.” She quickly added. No pressure.
“I know you never try to get anything of me I don’t want to tell you. I really appreciate that, Sofia. And I know, you don’t ask not because you’re not interested, you don’t ask because you want to give me time, you want me to tell you whatever is on my mind, when I’m ready and not when you think you want to know it. I’m very thankful for that.”
“Hey, I told you; the best thing about private life is that it’s private. If somebody makes the decision to share something private, it should be because she or he wants it that way, not because somebody forces them.”
“Not exactly the attitude you show when you’re on duty.”
“You’re not a suspect.”
“Sometimes people treat other people like suspects.”
“If I ever start to do that to you, please tell me, please stop me immediately.”
“I will, but I doubt you ever will.”
Sofia smiled softly. She hoped so too.
“So, why did you leave Grissom? After all the trouble you guys surely got into when Ecklie found out about you. I can’t imagine he was alright with that.”
“Hell no.” Sara had to laugh. “He got Grissom and me in his office, not together of course, and we screwed up the first question. He wanted to know since when had there been something between Gil and me. I said two years that was the time we were together. Gil said nine years.”
“Nine years?”
“Yeah.” Sara giggled. “That was when we met for the first time. You can imagine Ecklie was not happy with the little difference in our stories. Anyway, I changed shifts. Gil asked me to marry him. I said yes. I really wanted to do that at that time, probably all the years before too. But thenafter I realized what we were about to do and after all the ghosts of my past started to haunt me, I couldn’t do it anymore. I loved him, more than I loved anybody before. But sometimes love isn’t enough.”
She paused. It sounded so wrong and she knew it.
“I know, love is the most important thing in a relationship,” Sara went on when Sofia didn’t say anything to agree or disagree. “It is, but it isn’t enough. I knew he loved me, he always had. But he couldn’t give me what I needed. We were together and I still felt alone. Physically he was there, emotionally he wasn’t. I’m not an easy person, I know that. Especially when it comes to personal things, my private life, especially my past, I shut people out. Gil never tried to open me up, he knew most things anyway because he was my supervisor, but he never gave me the feeling that he wanted to know everything to understand me. Hewe never were emotionally close enough. And when I had that case with Hannah again.” Sara looked in Sofia’s eyes to see if she knew whom Sara was talking about and when Sofia simply nodded, Sara knew she didn’t need to explain anything.
“I couldn’t handle it anymore. It drop-kicked me of my way, out of my life, the life I was trying to create with Gil. He wasn’t there to catch me when I fell. He didn’t know what to do, so I left. I never intended to leave him, all I wanted was a little break, to sort things out, but Iit didn’t feel right anymore to come back. I couldn’t do it anymore and I didn’t want to lie to him. A marriage would have been a lie.”
“Diddo you still talk to him?” Sofia asked cautiously.
“Yes, sometimes. After I left I went back to Vegas one time, to explain everything to him. I didn’t want to write a letter or call him, that wouldn’t have been fair to him. So we talked, a whole night, we ended it together and that way we were both were fine with it. Yes, we are still in contact, good contact, I hope we’ll never lose the contact and he’s much happier since he left Vegas.”
“Sometimes it’s the best thing to make a cut.”
“Yes, otherwise you end up in lies and both get hurt.”
“I think you did the right thing. Honestly you are more relaxed than in Vegas.”
“I’m not an emotionally cold bitch anymore?”
“Who called you that?”
“How else did you call me when we met the first time?”
“A bitch.” Sofia laughed. “The whole shift wasn’t nice to me. But not an emotionally cold bitch. I didn’t care enough to find out if you were emotionally cold. And later as a detective, I felt sometimes like just slapping you on your head to wake you up. Like in the werewolf case. I waited for hours for you in the cold and darkness, started to work the scene and you acted like I messed the case up.”
“I really didn’t get your message earlier.”
“I believe you. And I knew, there were things in your life, that made you suspicious when it came to people, but knowing now, there was a change in your behavior when I came back from Boulder. I didn’t know what it was, now I know, it was Grissom.”
“You tried to hit on him.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“I tried to impress him, yes. I was never sexually interested in him. Thank God for that, who knows what you would have done to me.”
“Nothing. Gil and me, we had this kind of conversation only once, when he spent the night at Lady Heather’s place.”
“Lady Heather? The Lady Heather?” Sofia’s eyes got huge.
“Yes, that Lady Heather. They are friends, I hadn’t really met her before, he didn’t tell me anything, so I was really pissed off. He didn’t tell me, he was at her place, I found out when Cath mentioned it.”
“That is so Grissom.”
“Yes, it is.” Sara had to smile. Of course he hadn’t thought of telling her what kind of relationship he and Heather had, of course he didn’t tell her he went over to her place because she needed a friend, of course he didn’t understand why it set her up. She was emotionally disabled, he was emotional unavailable – at least sometimes.
“You said, love isn’t the only thing that holds a relationship together,” Sofia said “Being open and honest to your partner is also important because these things are the basis of trust, the basis of love. You can’t love somebody you don’t trust and you can’t trust somebody who holds things behind their back. And I don’t mean like not telling you all the secrets on the first date, I mean generally holding back what’s happening inside you, why you do what you do. It takes time to trust, it takes time to tell the things that messed you up but as long as there’s the intention to share, as long as you don’t hold back because you don’t want the other to know, as long as you don’t talk because you’re simply not interested in sharing the information, it’s okay to take all the time you need.”
Sara looked at Sofia for a long and silent time.
“Whoever gets you one day, Sofia, is a lucky person.” Sara’s voice was absolutely serious and sincere.
“Thanks, same as the lucky one who will get you.” Their eyes went back to the TV. The credits of the movie were on the screen.
“Want another one?” Sofia asked.
“Are you tired?”
“Not really.”
“Put one on, I’ll fall asleep that’s for sure.”
“We don’t have to”
“If you promise me to wake me up instead of carrying me and breaking your back, it’s alright with me.”
“I will wake you up, gently. No snow, no cold water.”
“Deal.” Sara got up to get both a new cup of tea and Sofia changed the movie.
Back on the sofa Sofia lifted her arm, a sign for Sara to use her shoulder again as a pillow. With a smile Sara took the offer. Who would have thought that a couple of years ago?
“Rear Window.”
“Another classic.” She watched the screen. James Stewart again, he must have been Alfred Hitchcock’s favorite actor. Sara liked him, she had seen all the Hitchcock movies with him.
When she got tired, she turned her head a little bit and mumbled, “Good night, Sofia.”
“Good night, Sara. I’ll wake you up after the movie. Gently.”
“Thank you.”
“You’rewelcome.” Sofia had to get herself together.
Sara had kissed her neck. Just Sara’s breath on her neck yesterday had made Sofia lose her own breath for a few minutes and made her heart beat faster. This kiss was even worse. She was sure that Sara could feel her heart jumping, her breath getting faster and the hot flash in her body. What the hell was it, that a harmless thing like a little kiss, from a person, who was more asleep than awake, could make her lose her control? She stayed cool when a dozen guys were shooting at her, she lost her grip when Sara was there.
That wasn’t good, that was absolutely not good.

December

“Speak if you have to.“
”I wish a wonderful good evening to you too.“ Sofia laughed. Sara had answered the phone friendlier a few times before.
“Sorry, I thought it was one of the annoying guys that keep calling me all the time to sell me any kind of shit.”
“Shouldn’t you tell them to shut up?”
“No, usually I let them talk, put the phone down, do whatever I was doing before the call and when I’m finished they’re gone. People don’t have the patience to wait, like for a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle.”
“You finished a puzzle while some guys tried to sell you something?”
“Yeah, I was half way done when he called, I wanted to finish it and when I was done, he was gone.”
“I’m sure he won’t call again.”
“I hope not. So, how is the lieutenant? Lieutenant Lascivious?”
“I’m fine, Investigator Incredible. How is exciting Fresno?”
“Quiet and nice. No overtime this week. It seems like everybody is getting prepared for Christmas.”
“You’ve got all your gifts?”
“Sure, I bought myself some nice things,” Sara said.
“What did you buy for me?”
“I didn’t know I had to buy something for you. Do you deserve something?”
“I deserve everything.”
“Really?”
“Of course. Listen, we have to talk about Christmas,” Sofia said.
“You’ve got to work?” They were supposed to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together. Sofia wanted to drive over after her shift to Sara’s place. Did her boss changed their plans for them? Sara had to admit, she was slightly disappointed if that was the case.
“No, I don’t. They agreed with my day off, I won’t let take them that away. Can you turn on your computer?”
“It is on.”
“Go onlineyou’ve got a hotmail address, don’t you?”
“Yes.” Sara began to feel suspicious. Why did Sofia ask these questions and why did she want Sara to be online?
“Got MSN messenger?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll add you on my list, turn on your messenger.”
“Okay.” Sara went with the phone tucked between head and shoulder to her computer and turned on her MSN messenger. Seconds later she had a message from Sofia on her screen, asking for permission to talk to her. Sara clicked okay and saw Sofia online.
“And now?” They were still on the phone, they could talk. There was no need to do these things.
“No, I’ll text you...”
“We could just go on talking on the phone. It’s easier, it’s faster and we don’t have to sit the whole time at the same place.”
“We can talk, but I need you to stay with the computer.”
“Why?”
“Trust me.”
“This better be good, I wanted to lie down on the couch.”
“It is. It explains why there’s a little problem for our Christmas plans.” Sofia sent her an invitation to see her web cam.
“What? Somebody messed up your hair and you want to show me that? As a reason why you can’t leave the house for the next weeks?”
“Don’t be silly.” Sofia laughed. She had to work the whole day with people, if somebody would have messed up her hair, she had to cope with that. There was no chance to hide in her office.
The webcam showed Sara a Sofia who looked exactly the same way like she did the last time the women had seen each other. Nothing special, nothing to worry.
“Do you have a cam?”
“No, and if I had I wouldn’t turn it on. You know how I look. Sofia, what is this about? What does it have to do with Christmas?”
“I want to show you my special problem.” Sofia bent down and when she came up again a second later, she had something black and small in her hands.
“Sara, this is Tobey, Tobey that’s Sara. Say hello to her.”
“A puppy?” Sara couldn’t believe it. Sofia had bought herself a puppy?
“Yes, my man in the house. Fourteen weeks old, has been living for two weeks in my kitchen and the new king of the carpet.”
“What is he? Rottweiler?”
“Yes, a Rottweiler.”
“He’ll be huge.”
“I hope so.”
“And now show me the problem.”
“He is the problem. I mean, sorry honey.” Sofia kissed the puppy and petted it softly. “You’re not a problem, you’re my Sweety, but I’m not sure if you’d like to have a puppy in your house.”
“How could I ban a cute guy from my apartment? As far as I know dogs are allowed, bring him with you. I’ll enjoy having him around, playing with him and cuddling him until he falls asleep.”
“Sounds like you won’t need me anymore.” Sofia smiled, relieved. She wasn’t sure how Sara reacted because of Tobey, Sofia knew Sara liked animals but did she also like them in her apartment?
“I need you, you have to handle the food and all the rest while I play with your man.”
“Under other circumstances I’d be jealous but knowing you and him, I’ll be fine.”
“So you’ll be here?”
“I’ll get Tobey after work and we’ll come straight to your place. Hopefully before seven p.m.”
“I’ll fix some dinner for us. What does Tobey eat?”
“I’ll bring his food, don’t worry about him. He’s a meat lover,” Sofia whispered, which made Sara laugh. She didn’t expect anything else.

With Tobey on his leash, and a big backpack on her back, Sofia entered Sara’s apartment. The investigator immediately went down to cuddle the puppy.
“Oh, you’re so cute.”
“Thanks. I know. But say something nice to Tobey too.” Sofia grinned.
“I was talking to your dog, Miss Super-Ego.”
“You like my ego.”
“It is even bigger than your backpackhow long are you gonna stay here? I had one night in mind.”
“It’s Tobey, he has so many things. His blanket, his favorite toys and food. I tell you, a puppy is worse than a girlfriend, all these things they need.”
“You think he’ll be alright in the living room?”
“He’ll be fine with me, don’t worry. And he’s housebroken, he’ll let us know if he needs a little walk. I let him out for a couple of minutes before we came up.”
“Good. Dinner is prepared.”
“I love coming here, it’s warm, I’ll get some food and I’m sure there’s a beer waiting for me.”
“I thought we’d have some wine with the food.”
“What did you cook? Or did you get everything delivered?”
“A good host cooks. A steak for you, mixed veggies, potatoes and some tofu for me. Not the traditional Christmas stuff but if you want, we can get all the Christmas stuff for tomorrow.”
“I’m fine with everything, I don’t need a huge lunch with special food. A pizza will do.”
“You’re easy to please,” said Sara.
“If it comes to food, yes.”
“When not?”
“You can try to find out.” Sofia grinned and Sara rolled her eyes.
“Tobey, your mummy is crazy.” She took the puppy in her arms. “He’s quite big already.”
“He’ll be huge in two years.”
“You won’t need your gun anymore when you’re jogging.”
“Jogging without a gun is like running naked, I don’t do that.”
“That would put you into prison.”
“Only if the wrong officer catches me.” Sofia got the dinner for Tobey out of the bag. Immediately the dog’s attention went from Sara to Sofia and his bowl. He jumped from her lap and sat next to Sofia, patiently waiting for his dinner.
“Wow, he’s good.”
“He has police school three times a week.”
“Do you want him in the force?”
“No, but I want him to be very well trained. And the good thing is, we have this police dog school in the same building, so I can leave him there while I’m working.” She set the food down and Tobey looked at her.
“Enjoy your meal.” No need to say that twice to the puppy!
“I’m impressed.”
“They do a great job, I know.” Sofia got two bottles of wine out of her bag. “Some treats for us later.”
After their dinner Sara insisted that they would take Tobey for a walk, so they found themselves outside in a cold wind and light rain. The dog was happily running around, chasing a ball Sofia threw every now and then and he retrieved - if nothing caught his attention that seemed to be better than a ball.
Cold and wet, they came back to Sara’s apartment and Tobey went straight to his blanket. There were so many new things for him today, he was tired and needed some sleep.
“I guess for the rest of the night he won’t need any attention.” Sofia softly petted her dog and smiled. She loved having a dog. It was much nicer to be at home with Tobey. When he wasn’t waiting for her, he made sure that every inch of the apartment looked exactly the same as they left it in the morning. He kept her company when she was out jogging or walking, he joined her in front of the TV, fell asleep in front of the couch and every morning he was lying next to her bed, waiting for her to wake up.
“How come you bought yourself a dog? Did you feel lonely?”
“It’s nice to come home to somebody or to come home with somebody.”
“Sick of humans? I bet there were a few guys who wouldn’t mind being in Tobey’s shoes. Or shall I say paws?”
“The last guy I dated turned out to be married, the last woman I dated turned out to be a control freak. I guess, I was too sick of San Jose’s singles and want-to be-singles. I need a partner whom I can trust, who’s there. Who isn’t interested in getting me into bed and that’s it.”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind ending up in your bed.”
“No, he wouldn’t. But he’s fine with his blanket and a good night kiss. I think he doesn’t care about my appearance.”
“You do.”
“Sometimes I’ve got a lazy day and just want to be in sweat pants, a huge t-shirt and hang around the beach. He doesn’t care what I wear, he loves me unconditionally.”
“You sound like you’re totally in love.”
“I am. This guy has my heart.”
“Maybe I should get a dog too,” Sara said.
“Why not a human?”
“Same reasons you named. I want somebody I can trust, who’s there for me. And dogs don’t ask questions, don’t want explanations as to why I do what I do and won’t sit the whole weekend in front of the TV watching sports.”
“Tobey prefers to do sports,” Sofia said.
“See, that’s what I want. Somebody who joins me on my hikes.”
“I do that.”
“We don’t have enough free days together. But we’re still on for Mount Whitney. By that time Tobey will be big enough for that hike.” They had to look for treks they could take Tobey with them. There would be a few treks they couldn’t walk with the dog but it was more important to have him around than seeing these treks.
“We’ll train him. I think in two months I’ll start to do some cycling tours with him. He is already quite good next to my bike, a little easy to distract, but he’s a puppy.”
“Exactly, he needs to play,” Sara said.
“Like a child.”
“I’m sure you’re a good mother.”
“Of course. So, what do we two beauties do with the rest of the Christmas evening?” Sofia asked.
“Watch Christmas movies?”
“You have Christmas movies? Aren’t you the one, who always tried to work on Christmas? Who wanted to punch the huge fake Santa Claus in the department store for his ‘Ho! Ho! Ho’ every time somebody entered? You have Christmas movies?”
“The Grinch and some very old Christmas movies in black and white,” Sara replied.
“That sounds more like you.”
“Get the huge bag of candy you brought.”
“What makes you think I’ve got a huge bag of candy with me?”
“It’s you, you never go anywhere without your bag of candy.”
“You know me too damn well, I’m afraid I’ll have to kill you for that one day.”
“Are you threatening me?” Sara asked.
“I’m warning you, to give you a fair chance.”
“You might be a lieutenant, but I know how to mix the right stuff that will kick you out of your arrogant boots.”
“Boots can’t be arrogant,” Sofia said.
“If they’re yours, they can. Just like the rest of you.”
“Are you looking for trouble?”
“Are you threatening me again?”
“Still warning you.”
“Sweet,” Sara said. “Let’s have some wine, chocolate and a movie. We’ll save the fight for another day. It’s Christmas, let’s pretend to be happy.”
Sofia put her hand on Sara’s arm before she could turn away. There was some bitterness in Sara’s voice that made Sofia stop. She hoped she hadn’t said anything to make the brunette sad.
“I am happy and I hope, you are too.”
“I am, don’t worry.”
“We don’t really fight, do we?”
“It’s us, we’re playing. Teasing each other is one of our favorite pastimes. Since when are you concerned about that?” Sara asked.
“Sorry, bloody Christmas makes meshaky. I do sometimes forget everything is alright because it seems to be to good to be true.”
“Everything is alright, Sofia.” Sara hugged her briefly and took Sofia’s hand to bring her to the couch. “Sit down, I’ll get the movie and the chocolate. Because it’s Christmas even I have a huge bowl of this sweet stuff.”
“Christmas is a good time, the best time of the year. Everybody has candy. It’s like Halloween but you can eat the candy for more than one day.”
“I bet your parents were happy when you were a child and Christmas was over. They probably had to make an appointment with the dentist first thing in the new year.”
“Shut up and move, I want chocolate.” Sofia smirked. No, she didn’t need a dentist after Christmas, that would have been a wasted effort. Her teeth were covered in chocolate for at least a whole month.

Sara did fall asleep on the sofa again and she woke up with Sofia’s arm around her, who was still watching TV.
“You like sleeping on my shoulder, don’t you?”
“It’s warm.”
“Normally I don’t like it when women use me, but in your case it’s alright. I don’t feel bad afterward.”
“I can tell you, you were good if that would make you feel better.”
“That’s what I usually hear.”
“Woah, your ego grows againare you ever unsure?”
“I’m not sure about thatdoes that count as being unsure?”
“Shut up. I’m going to bed. You’re alright here?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I’ll finish the movie and go to sleep then. What time would you like to have breakfast delivered to your bed?” Sofia asked.
“I get breakfast in bed?”
“Sure.”
“Eight o’clock. I won’t sleep longer.”
“I’ll be on time.”
“Thanks.” Sara gave Sofia a hug. “Sleep tight and don’t eat to many sweets, you might get some nightmares otherwise.”
“I’ll be a good girl, mom.” She kissed Sara lightly on the cheek. “Good night.” Sara vanished smiling to her room and Sofia turned her attention back to the television.
The Grinch was laughing onscreen; he was about to destroy Christmas. He hated Christmas just as much as Sara did once. No wonder this movie was in her collection.
Sara. Who would have thought Sofia would spend a Christmas Eve on Sara Sidle’s sofa? Spending her night in the apartment of the biggest Christmas hater in the LVPD? Actually enjoying the evening and looking forward to spend time with her on Christmas Day. In fact, she looked forward to spend any day with Sara. She loved spending time with Sara, she looked forward to see her on their mutual days off, no matter what their plans were. What did that say about her? Had she lost her mind?
Sofia had turned down an offer to celebrate with some of the colleagues, the ones who wouldn’t go to their families; turned down the offer of having lunch with some friends she hung out with on weekend nights and also Felix’s offer to join him for a romantic candlelight dinner. He didn’t expected anything else than a “no” so he took it with a smile, knowing Sofia’s plans for these two days.
Spending time with Sara. Why did Sofia enjoy that so much? What did happen in that one week in Los Angeles last summer? What did they do that they suddenly became friends? Not only friends, Sofia considered Sara as one of her closest friends, one she could talk to about everything. Was it only the time together that had made them feel closer to each other? Or was it something else? Why did she enjoy being with Sara? Why had she dreamed the whole last week of these two days? Why did the thought of Sara make her sleepless? Why was Sara in her dreams? Whywait a minute! All these questionsdid they mean
Oh no! That couldn’t be! Please not! Sofia turned off the television in shock and stared in the dark before letting herself drop back on the sofa. All these questions, all these questions, that were less questions than statements, they all led her to one conclusion; one she didn’t want to be true, didn’t want to hear: she had a damn crush on Sara! Why? Okay, why was perhaps the wrong question, there were many reasons why somebody could have a crush on Sara. So she should ask the question this way: Why her? Why Sara? What was Sofia thinking? Did she think at all? They were friends, she should be happy with that. There had never been more. There was no reason why there should be more now. This would only destroy their friendship. They had neverthey had never flirted or did they? Did they flirt in Vegas?
Couldn’t be. Sara had barely talked to her in the first weeks and when Sofia came back to Vegas as a detective, the CSI waswell, she was more friendly than before, but she was involved with Grissom. They didn’t flirt. They only managed to get along. Although sometimes no, Sofia made too much of some things. That time she and Sara walked through the lab and Sara gave her one of her special Sara smiles, that Sofia was the detective, she should go and detect, that wasn’t flirting. Was it? Did she let her wait in front of the public phone because she didn’t want to be alone with Sofia, afraid of her feelings? Did she send Sofia out of the lab while the investigation of the Bell case was ongoing because she was afraid that Sofia would destroy her career?
Get a grip, Curtis! Sara was in love with Grissom, she told you, she loved him. You are making things up. Stop talking yourself into something you’ll regret. Don’t make yourself unhappy by destroying a friendship that is so very important to you. Just get your head straight, even better, get yourself straight and this crush on Sara will vanish out of your head. She is only a friend. Only a friend. A friend

Sofia must have fallen asleep because a little whine woke her up. She was still on the sofa, never having made up her bed.
Tobey was sitting in front of Sara’s bedroom door.
“Hey Tobey, if you need to go out, it’s the other door.” Sofia got up to take her puppy outside. As she got closer, she could hear Sara talking in her sleep. The door wasn’t really closed and what Sofia heard didn’t sound good. Sara was having a nightmare and when she cried out loudly, Tobey started to whine again. That was the reason why the puppy was sitting in front of Sara’s door. He had heard and felt Sara wasn’t alright and wanted to go inside to help her, see what was wrong.
“Okay, we’ll have a look.” Sofia opened the door and stepped into Sara’s bedroom. The curtain wasn’t closed properly so some streetlight shone on Sara’s bed. She was sweating, turning around, crying quietly and it was clear that Sara was in a horrible nightmare.
“No! No! Please! Don’t!”
Sofia put Tobey on the floor and went to the bed. She had to wake her up.
“Sara.” As softly as possible Sofia laid a hand on Sara’s shoulder, shaking her slowly. The last thing she wanted was to scare Sara even more.
“No! No!”
“Sara!” Sofia’s voice got louder. She had to wake her up now. She grabbed the CSI and shook her stronger.
“No! I” Sara woke up and looked at Sofia, not knowing what Sofia was doing here, not even sure where she was and what happened. She was shaking all over her body and Sofia stopped thinking and acted like her intuition told her; she took Sara in her arms.
“Everything is fine, relax. I’m here. Nothing will happen to you.”
“SofiaI”
“Shhh, just relax. I’ve got you, I’ll take care of you. Nobody will hurt you. I promise.” She wrapped her arms tighter around Sara. It was not only to comfort the brunette, Sofia needed Sara in her arms for her own sake. Hearing this sound in Sara’s voice had broken her heart.
“What are you doing here?”
“Tobey heard you crying in your sleep, he was sitting in front of your door whining and I woke up, thought he had to go out, but all he wanted was to come in here to see if you’re alright. You had a nightmare, you can stop shaking now, I’m here and I have you in my arms, nothing will happen anymore.”
“Iit was no nightmareit was real.”
“They all feel real, honey. No need to be afraid anymore. If you want, I’ll stay with you, I’ll scare everything away. And Tobey will stay too, he’ll protect you.”
“You can’t protect me.”
“Didn’t you say I’m a good lieutenant? Then I can protect you.”
“You can’t.”
“Whatever is chasing you, I’ll beat it.”
“You can’t beat the past.” Sara mumbled the words, desperately trying to find some hold in Sofia’s arms.
“I can try if you want.” She had to do anything. It broke Sofia’s heart to see Sara like this, to know, she was suffering. She wanted to do everything to make her feel better, to feel safe and stop crying. She would stay with Sara as long she needed her. She wouldn’t let her alone with these nightmares. Not even if Sara would tell her she was alright, Sofia could see and feel, Sara wasn’t.
“Did you read my file?” The question caught Sofia off guard. What was she supposed to say? Yes, Ecklie gave me your file. Yes I read it. No, I didn’t read everything but I’m pretty sure I know more about you than you’d like. Was it better to lie?
“Ecklie gave it to me.” Not a lie, not the entire truth and a real answer to the question Sara had asked her.
“Did you read it all?” Sara’s voice was soundless. She knew the blonde was trying to avoid to answer the question.
“I read only the things that were work related, when it came to private stuffI stopped after the first few sentences.”
Sara got herself out of Sofia’s embrace and it made Sofia’s heart break. She wanted to tell her not to turn away, to stay with her.
“I’m sorry.” What could Sofia say? She had to read the file, she tried not to get too much into Sara’s private life but she read things that were very private.
Sara rolled on her side, facing the window, facing away from Sofia.
Not really knowing what to do, Sofia asked the one question she was afraid of asking. The one she didn’t really want to ask. “Would like me to leave?” Where should she go? It was in the middle of the night. She had drunk a whole bottle of wine, she wasn’t supposed to drive, and she doubted there was a motel in Fresno open at 3 a.m. that would likely give her and Tobey a room. But she would do it, she would do it, if Sara asked her to leave. Probably she wouldn’t even be mad at her if she did. She should have told her earlier.
“No.” Sara didn’t turn around.
Sofia wasn’t sure what to do. Tobey was sleeping in front of the bed. Since nobody was crying, he was alright. Slowly Sofia raised to go back to the sofa.
When she bent down to pick Tobey up, Sara said very quietly. “Sofia?”
“Yes?” She stopped and just petted Tobey.
“Can you chase my nightmare away? Can you try? Please.”
“If you want me to try, yes, I’d love to try.”
Sara turned around, took Sofia’s hand and pulled her to herself.
“Please stay here, hold me and chase them all away.”
“Okay.” Sofia slipped next to Sara and wrapped her arm around the waist of the still trembling woman. Sara was cold as ice. Her face close to Sara’s hair, she could smell the special smell of Sara.
They were quiet for a long time. Sofia thought Sara might have been falling asleep again when Sara suddenly spoke.
“What did you read about my childhood?”
“Sara, we don’t have to go there. Don’t say anything that will make you suffer. Don’t go back if it makes you feel bad.”
“What did you read?”
Sofia made the decision that it was the best to be honest. Sara was her friend. She couldn’t lie to her, even if it would make things easier for her. A lie was still a lie.
“All I know is that you were in foster homes after your thirteenth birthday.” As soon as she had read that, Sofia put the file away, knowing she was crossing over a line that she wasn’t supposed to cross. Nobody was supposed to read this without Sara’s permission.
“You know why I had to go there?”
“No.” Sofia could see Sara’s eyes were closed in pain. She wanted her to stop, wanted her to go away from the memories, that gave her all the pain.
“My mother killed my father.” It sounded so easy, like Sara would order a coffee to go and yet, Sofia could hear all the pain in these five words. She could feel how with saying these words, Sara’s whole body trembled again, how she had to fight not to lose control. Sofia didn’t want her to feel like this. She didn’t want her to suffer.
And she had no idea what to say.
“He wasn’t a good man. Not a good husband. Not a good father. He took every chance he got to beat the crap out of us. We were so often in hospitals, I wonder why nobody realized what was going on. Or maybe they did - but nobody cared.” That was why Sara reacted so sensitively in cases with child abuse. That was why she worked herself over the limit whenever a child was involved. She wanted revenge. She wanted the father, the mother, the uncle, whoever hurt the child, to pay. All these children made her remember herself as a helpless child.
“One day, he was coming after me, I tried to escape, ran into the kitchen, tried to hide under the table, crying, scared, knowing my mother couldn’t stop him, wouldn’t try to stop him because then it would be her who got all his anger. When he came in the kitchen, my mother was there too, he had to go past her to grab me. He was almost next to her when she took a knife and stabbed him. Again and again and again. She didn’t stop, she laughed, it sounded so crazy. She stabbed, she laughed, she stabbed, she laughed. He was looking at her with surprise, he looked to me like he wanted to say, I should help him. And all I did was sit under the table, crying without a sound, scared, she would kill me next.”
Sara paused. Sofia found her hand and took it in hers. What was she supposed to say? She had to fight back the tears that were running down her face. She imagined Sara as a little girl, covered in bruises, scared to death of her parents, blood all over her body, with broken bones, in a hospital. Nobody cared what happened to her.
“The police came, took her into custody and me in a foster home. Nobody beat me anymore but it wasn’t much better than home. I guess the first time I felt like a human was when I went to university, free of everything.”
Sara turned around, ready to see pity in Sofia’s eyes. That was what she expected from people and that was what she didn’t want to see. She didn’t need anybody’s pity.
Sofia’s eyes were still filled with tears. She simply moved her arm closer around Sara and dragged her closer to herself.
“I won’t tell you I’m sorry because that won’t change anything. I won’t tell you I know what you felt because I’ve never been in any situation like that. I won’t tell you everything will be alright because it will never be. The only thing I do tell you is, I’m here, I’ll be there, whenever you need somebody. I can’t make up for the past, I can’t make it undone as much as I want to, I can’t take all the pain away from you. I can only offer you to be there, to hold you and stay with you when you need somebody.” She could feel Sara’s tears on her shirt, she could feel the cold skin getting a little bit warmer, she could feel how the woman didn’t tremble as much as before. Sara was far away from being relaxed, but she had the control over her body back.
“I think I need somebody tonight.”
“I’ll be here.” Sofia dried a tear from Sara’s face, searching those brown eyes she loved so much.
“Can you hold me?”
“I will.”
Sara turned around again. Sofia was first disappointed about this but when Sara started to talk again, it was clear it was easier for Sara to talk facing the window. She didn’t try to withdraw from Sofia, instead she dragged Sofia’s arms closer around herself. All she needed was a little bit of space, in this case by facing the window.
“I don’t get this nightmare very often. There were times, I had it once a month or even more often. Now I get them on Christmas and every year of the day she killed him. Family days, days that remind me of them, of not having a family you’re supposed to have.”
“I won’t let you out of my arms for the rest of the night and if you want, I’ll stay tomorrow night too.”
“You have to work.”
“I can leave at six in the morning, that will give me enough time to be at work at nine. I don’t want you to be in this dream and be alone.”
“I can handle it, I did it for years.”
“Just because you did something for years doesn’t make it better. Or right. You shouldn’t be alone.”
“You can’t stay with me every night.”
“I can try to be there on days you’re likely to get them. Like Christmas. Like that day your mother killed your father. I can stay here, I can be there for you. The night before, the actual night, the next night. And wake you up when you get a nightmare, hold you and chase all the demons away.”
“You can’t chase them all away.”
“Hey, I’m a lieutenant, I can do a lot of things. And as soon as I’m chief of the police I can do everything. And if something pisses me off, I’ll move heaven and hell to get rid of whatever it is. Seeing you so sad, suffering and in pain really pisses me off. There are not many things that can top that. In fact, I can’t think of a one.”
Sara pressed Sofia’s hand for a short moment. She was very happy to have Sofia here, she was happy the blonde didn’t ask questions, that she had simply listened to Sara’s story and didn’t try to tell her all the useless things other people had tried to tell her. Sofia was right, it would never be alright and there was nothing she could do to make it undone. It was good to know Sofia didn’t want to pretend anything that wasn’t possible.
“Are you in love with me?”
Had the question about the file caught Sofia off-guard, this one threw her against a wall and smashed her back. What was she supposed to say? Did she have to answer this question? She had this long discussion with herself hours before. She wasn’t ready to talk about it. But she couldn’t ignore it. Couldn’t say it was too private. It was damn private, yes, but it was a thing that mattered to Sara too.
If she told her yes, would she turn away? Would she send Sofia away? Two answers Sara didn’t like in one night were too much. If she said no, she would lie. She had told Sara all these things she wanted to do for her, that she wanted to be there for her. How could she be there for Sara if she lied to her?
“Yes.”
After a second or two to let Sara work with the answer, Sofia continued. “Do you want me to go back to the sofa? Or leave?”
“Why do you always want to leave? Running away doesn’t solve a problem.” A problem? It was a problem for Sara to know that Sofia was in love with her? Okay, that made things more complicated.
“Running away is especially stupid and without sense if there’s no problem.”
Sofia wasn’t sure if Sara could hear the huge rock falling from her heart. There was no problem. Sara didn’t mind her feelings. She still held Sofia’s hand. In fact, she had never loosened her grip.
“You’re cool with that?”
“Sofia, it was obvious, I was just too blind. Why should I be bothered? You won’t take advantage of my situation right now, that’s not your style. And I do enjoy your company, more, right now I need it. Sending you away would be quite stupid. I’m not that stupid.”
“You’re a geek, you’re not stupid at all.”
“I’m a hopeless nutcase, a psycho workaholic with a fucked-up childhood.”
“You’re the most intelligent, the most adorable, and the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met. And one of the biggest bitches too. Although you’ve lost a little bit of your bitchy character in the last years, especially the last months. But there’s still this ‘bite me’ sound in your voice, that I really enjoy.”
“I’ve changed, you’re still smug, with an ego big enough for a baseball team and the most amazing ice-blue eyes I’ve ever seen.”
“You like my eyes?” Sofia giggled.
“Shut up.”
“Do you like my legs? They’re really long.”
“Curtis, one more sentence like that and I’ll kick you, your eyes, your legs, your ego, and your ass out of my apartment.”
“So you like my ass too?” Sofia laughed.
“I’m gonna ignore you now and try to sleep.”
“Do that.” Sofia pulled Sara closer to herself again, happy that the other woman didn’t try to stop her and seemed to be alright with it. “I’ll take care of you, as I’ve promised.”
“Thanks.” Sara closed her eyes and sighed. Having Sofia around, feeling her, being in her arms, gave her a kind of security. Maybe she could get some sleep this way.

“Good morning, Sara Sunshine. Fresh toast, fresh pressed orange juice and a little fruit salad, together with a huge cup of coffee, black as the night.” Sofia set the little tray with breakfast on Sara’s bed. It wasn’t eight o’clock, it was nine, but Sofia couldn’t bear to wake Sara up. It was hard enough for herself to leave the bed and let Tobey out. She had to leave Sara, had to let her out of her arms. But she knew, if she didn’t do that, Tobey would turn the living room into a pool.
“Morning.” Sara had a look at her watch. “It’s nine.”
“Good girl, you can read the time.” Sofia smirked.
“I thought breakfast time was eight.”
“That was before you spent half of the night awake.”
“How come you’re awake?”
“My little friend had to go out and being a good mother, I took him for a little walk after his breakfast to have all the time in the world for your breakfast.”
“What about your breakfast?”
“In the kitchen.”
“Go and get it, we’ll have breakfast in bed.”
“Sounds good to me.” Sofia smiled, got her breakfast and joined Sara.
“Oh, Sofia?” Sara said as soon as Sofia sat next to her, coffee, toast and a banana on her tray.
“Yes?” Sofia was prepared to leave the bed again, thinking that Sara just remembered something she needed for her breakfast.
“Merry Christmas.” Sara bent over and kissed Sofia softly on the cheek.
“Merry Christmas to you too.” Sofia made the decision that if Sara could kiss her cheek, she could do the same.
“How did you sleep?” Sara asked.
“After I saw you were sleeping, quiet and peaceful, I slept well. Just like the last time I had you in my arms.”
“I think my bed is slightly more comfortable than the little tent.”
“Yes it is. Did you change your mind about my offer? I can stay another night.”
“It’s really sweet and I appreciate it, but it’s better you go home. I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll call you tonight and talk you into sleep. That way it will be like I’m here.”
“There’s a difference between hearing your voice on the phone and feeling your arms around me.” These words made Sofia feel warm. She hoped she didn’t blush.
“Okay, I’m staying.” In fact, she wanted to stay. She wanted to be with Sara, wanted to hold her again, even of there were no nightmares.
“No, you go.” Sara laughed. “You and Tobey go home and we’ll see each other the next time we’ve got some free time.”
“I have to work straight until the sixth of January, after that, my boss gives me four days off.” Two weeks in a row, that was the price she had to pay to have Christmas Day off. This day was usually reserved for the ones with family. Having the privilege to be away from work today had cost her two weeks straight.
“I’m on call for New Year’s Eve, but I have the weekend after it off. Just missed your days by two days.” If Fresno stayed quiet like the last year there wouldn’t be many cases for Sara and her colleagues.
“Yeah.” Sofia’s free time started on Monday, when Sara had to work again. Not good timing.
“Tell you what,” Sara offered. “I’ll come to San Jose. I bet Tobey would prefer to spend some time with me in the park than sitting alone in your apartment or in the department. We can have dinner together, like we did in L.A. How does that sound to you?”
“Wonderful. I’ll give you my key, then you can let yourself in whenever you want. And after that, I’ll come with you back here, spend my days with Tobey outside, and when you come home, we’ll be waiting with dinner for you. Now, how does that sound to you?”
“Like we’re married and you’re my housewife.”
“I’ll never be anybody’s housewife! Not even yours, Sara Sidle.” There was no way anybody could make her stay at home cleaning, cooking, and washing the whole day. She was a lieutenant by heart. She needed to be out in the field.
“Good, I don’t want a housewife.”
“What about a lieutenant?”
“Nah, I’d go more for a captain or a chief. You know I’m attracted to authority.”
Sofia laughed. “I can solve that. I’ll see when the first date is that I can make captain.”
“You’ve been a lieutenant only half a year, I guess you’ll have to wait a little bit longer.”
“Yeah, maybe. And the thing with being a captain is, you’re not as much in the field - too much paperwork. As long as I’m fit enough to run and kick some ass, I’ll stay outside, protecting some CSI guys.”
“Lucky them.”
“Come to San Jose and I’ll be your private bodyguard.”
“I’m sure you’d cover more than my back.” Sara grinned.
“I’ll cover whatever you want me to cover.” Sofia smirked.
“I thought so.” She put her breakfast tray away on the ground. “What are our plans for today?”
“Well, I brought a lovely CD collection with Christmas songs, I couldn’t find a Christmas tree in your apartment so I decorated a plant and got some Christmas cookies from the petrol station. We can prepare lunch, take the baby out for a walk, come back and celebrate Christmas.”
“I didn’t know you had this traditional blood running through your veins. What else is hidden deep down in you, Lieutenant?”
“Stay around me long enough, dig carefully, and you might find out. You’re the investigator, go and investigate.”
“I will. But first I’ll have a shower.” Sara slipped out of her bed, petted Tobey, took some clothes and walked to her bathroom.
Sofia put her tray away, slipped down and closed her eyes. The whole bed smelled like Sara. The whole bed reminded her of last night. She was happy that Tobey had awakened her; otherwise she might never have heard Sara’s nightmare. What the brunette had told her was a real nightmare, not like a horror movie at all, it was real life and it was haunting. Sara had been haunted since her childhood. Was that the right word to use? Did Sara have a childhood? Childhood was supposed to be a time of joy, acting without cares and free. Sara never had that.
Sofia wanted to give Sara a new childhood or something that made up for her childhood. Was that the reason why Sara had got her to dance in the mall in San Jose? Was it her inner child that wanted to be free and just play? It was a moment when she had seen Sara totally happy, with no shadows, just pure joy. Same for their water battles in Yosemite. Playing like children do. Same for their snowball fights in Tahoe.
“Are you asleep again?” Sara came back in the bedroom, in jeans and a jumper, a towel wrapped around her hair.
“No. Just thinking.”
“I hope good thoughts.”
“Every thought that includes you is somehow good, just because you’re in it.”
“Don’t flirt with me now, I’m not awake enough.”
“That means I can use your weakness. Sounds good to me.”
“You’re that cold?” Sara sat on her bed looking at Sofia with an amused smile. Sofia simply moved the blanket away so that Sara could come next to her.
“If you want me in my bed you should try better than just moving the blanket. I’m not that easy to have.”
“If I tell you I need you in my arms right now for my inner sake, would that work?”
“You’re alright?” The honest and serious sound in Sofia’s voice made Sara stop teasing.
“Yes, I’m fine, I just need” What did she need? She couldn’t find words, not the right ones at least.
Sara understood, let her towel drop on the floor, slipped next to Sofia and took her without another word in her arms.
This was better. Sofia felt Sara’s arms around her, felt Sara’s heat from the shower, smelled her shampoo, her perfume and her skin. Sofia simply closed her eyes and let all these things work on her. All she needed were a few minutes of feeling safe, feeling she and Sara were both alright and that there was, right now, nothing that could hurt either one of them.
“Stupid Christmas makes me shaky.”
“I’m sorry if I made you feel bad last night,” Sara whispered.
“You don’t have to feel sorry. I’m glad I could be there for you.” Sofia didn’t want to let Sara go and it didn’t feel like Sara wanted to get out of her arms. She could go on holding her, being held.
“I dumped all my shit on you.”
“Friends are there to take the shit of others.”
“Not on Christmas, it’s supposed to be a happy feast.”
“I’m there for you no matter what day it is.”
“I don’t want toI meanI don’t want you to feel like I’d use you,” Sara said hesitantly. “You told me your feelings”
“That was not to put any kind of pressure of you. All I wanted was to tell you the truth. You don’t have to do anything, you don’t have to remember it.”
“It’s hard to forget.” Sara smiled a little bit. “And I don’t want to forget that. Finding out somebody has feelings for you is a nice thing. I’m sure we’ll find a way that will make both of us happy. I don’t want to lose you, Sofia.”
“I definitely don’t want to lose you, Sara. In no way.”
“It seems to me like you have me, right now you have me very close and there’s no way I’d slip away.”
“No, there isn’t. When you’re in my arms it won’t be easy to get out of them again. I don’t let a cute investigator slip through my arms.”
“I feel quite good in them. There’s no reason for me to leave.” Sara buried her face in Sofia’s hair. It was good to have somebody in her arms, it was so good to be in someone’s arms. And it felt good that this someone was Sofia.

Sara held Tobey in her arms and cuddled the puppy. The Rottweiler thanked her with a lot of sloppy dog kisses.
“Yes, you’re a good kisser, Tobey.”
“He’s my student, imagine my kisses.” Sofia watched her dog and Sara sitting on the carpet. Tobey was a friendly puppy, but he loved Sara from the first look. They knew each other less than 24 hours and he was addicted to her.
“Little showoff,” Sara said.
“Don’t be mean to him.”
“I’m talking about you,” Sara retorted.
“Don’t call me a showoff before you’ve tested if I’m wrong.”
“Nice try, lieutenant.”
“I know. Unfortunately the investigator is too damn smart to fall for that. I have to try harder. Let’s see.” Sofia got up and walked to her bag.
“Maybe this will work.” She got a parcel wrapped in Christmas paper out and walked to Sara.
“What are you doing?”
“Well, it’s Christmas. Merry Christmas.” Sofia smiled. Did Sara really think that she would come here without a present? No way. Presents were - next to chocolate and cookies – the best thing about Christmas.
“You put the pressure on me. Hold the baby.” She handed Tobey to Sofia.
“No pressure.”
“Hmm.” Sara vanished in her room to come back with a wrapped box a minute later.
“Oh, look Tobey, I knew I deserved a gift.”
“It’s for Tobey,” Sara smirked.
“Oh.”
“Yes, it’s his first Christmas, he needs a present.” Sara put the box under the plant Sofia had decorated as a Christmas tree and put Sofia’s box next to it.
“I need my camera, this is the first decent Christmas I’ve had ina long time.” Sofia said. “As long as you don’t count the family reunions.”
Sara smiled sadly. She couldn’t remember a single happy family Christmas. The last nice Christmas she had was with Gil. He had given her at least a little bit of Christmas feeling. He knew she wasn’t the biggest Christmas fan but their little get-together was nice.
“Got it. Take the baby, sit in front of theuhmtree and I’ll join you in a few sec’s.”
“You’re serious?” The look Sofia gave Sara told her, yes, she was very serious. Sighing, Sara took Tobey in her arms and sat in front of the plant.
Sofia placed the camera in the right position, pressed the self timer and ran to Sara and Tobey. Sara tried to give her the puppy.
“Nah, keep him, I’ll take you in my arms.” She laid her arm around Sara and Tobey started to lick her face. The flash made him stop.
“Great, now I’ve got a photo with a dog tongue in my face,” Sofia complained.
“You got kissed on a Christmas picture, what’s wrong with that?”
“Wrong person.”
“Is that a hint?” Sara asked.
“Never.” Sofia smiled and got up. “I’ll check the photo. Don’t run away.” She looked at her camera.
“And?”
“Second try, the tree isn’t in it completely. I cut the left half off.” Since it wasn’t a tree, it was barely visible.
“Make sure you’ve got everything in the picture before you start the self timer.”
“I will.” She set the camera again, signed Sara to move a little bit more to the left and came back.
“No kisses this time, Tobey.”
The Rottweiler wasn’t interested in his mommy. He saw the blinking light of the camera and looked at it. Just before the camera took the photo, Sara turned her head and kissed Sofia on the cheek.
“Another kiss picture.” Sara said
“Right person.” Sofia hoped she wasn’t blushing on the photo. She knew Sara did that to tease her.
“I know.”
“Really? Don’t play with my feelings,” Sofia told her.
“I’d never do that, honey.”
“Thanks, sugar. Open your present, I’ll open Tobey’s.”
“Open his first.”
“Okay.” Sofia took the big box and set it in front of the dog.
“Look here, boy. Look what’s inside. Yummy?” She opened the paper and Tobey grabbed the end and tore it apart.
“Don’t eat the paper, stupid, it’s about the thing in the box, not the paper.” Sofia opened the box and found a red collar, a ball and some treats.
“Doggy chocolate, look. Oh I think, you want to share that with me, Tobey.”
“You don’t really eat dog chocolate, do you?”
“Sure I do. Nothing wrong with anything that tastes good.” She offered Tobey some chocolate but the puppy was more interested in destroying the box. He managed to climb in it and started to tear the box apart.
“He’ll be occupied with that for a while.”
“Now it’s your turn,” Sofia said, handing her a small box.
“I do deserve something?”
“A little something, as you can see.”
Sara grinned at her. “Little things can be nice too.”
Sofia watched Sara opening her box. A book. Sophie’s World.
“I thought, after you gave me The little prince in Los Angeles that I had to find something similar. Do you know it?”
“I heard about it. Philosophy?” Sara asked.
“Yes, this girl, Sophie, receives two letters one day, each with one question. ‘Who are you?’ and ‘Where does the world come from?’ She starts to think about that and gets more and more letters like it. They take her into the world of philosophy. I thought it would be perfect for a geek. A scientist meets a philosophy geek.”
“I like things that challenge my brain,” Sara said.
“Of course you do.”
“Did you like your book?”
“Yes, I read it twice already. A nice and sad story. The fox reminded me of you,” Sofia told her.
“Why?”
“The little prince had to tame it first before they became friends.”
“So did you tame me?” Sara smirked.
“I’d say. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here now, we would have never spent the weekend in San Jose, in the National Park and all the other things we did. Yes, I tamed you, little fox.”
Sara smiled. “Open your present.”
Sofia grinned and began to unwrap her present. As big as Tobey’s box was, Sofia’s was small. All she found inside was a little pendant on a leather band. The pendant was silver with some signs on it, Sofia wasn’t sure if they were Asian or something else.
“It’s Gaelic.” Sara explained before Sofia could ask. “You told me your grandmother was from England and your grandfather from Ireland. I found it in a shop, it’s a Gaelic symbol for safety. A little guardian angel that hopefully brings Lieutenant Lascivious home safe and well every night.”
“Thanks.” Sofia put the leather band around her neck and turned around. “Could you knot it together?”
“Sure.” Sara knotted both ends together. “I chained safety around you.”
“I hope so.” Sofia turned around and looked down. The pendant hung just above her heart. “I’ll try to make the job for your gift not too difficult.”
“I’d appreciate that.” Sara took Sofia’s hand and pulled her in her arms. “Merry Christmas, Sofia. Again.”
“Merry Christmas, Sara.” Sofia kissed Sara gently on the cheek. “I’m absolutely happy to spend this day with you. It makes it not only a special day but also a special Christmas. Beside the fact that I’ve got a huge crush on you and you do nothing to stop that – it’s more the opposite – I can’t imagine a better way spending my Christmas holiday than with you and Tobey.” Was it right to mention the huge crush? Well, she told Sara about it last night, no need to deny it. And it wasn’t like she expected Sara anything to do. She was simply happy the brunette didn’t push her away, tried to have some distance between them. Sara held her in her arms, kissed her cheek, was close to her.
“I am enjoying the day with the two of you. It’s finally a Christmas day that feels like I imagine a Christmas day should be. The spirit of Christmas hit me with you.”
“I chased away the Grinch in you.”
“Yes you did.” Sara laughed and held on to Sofia. It was nice having her in her arms.
“Do you think you could do me a little favor?” Sofia whispered.
“Depends on the favor.” Sara grinned. Oh, there were a few things Sofia could imagine as favors, but she’d only asked for favors that were possible and fair for Sara.
“Let me stay tonight. I don’t want to drive home, I want to be with you. Not only because I want to make sure no nightmare will haunt you, but because I’d like to spend the Christmas evening with you. Sitting on the sofa, watching movies and watching you sleeping on my shoulder.”
“I won’t sleep on your shoulder, we have to work. I’ll send both of us to bed at ten p.m.”
“I take that as a ‘yes you can stay’.”
“Yes you can stay. I’ll get up with you tomorrow morning.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know but you’re stay here for me, so I can get up with you. We’re both not the greatest morning people but we can have a coffee before you and your little man go back.”
“Sounds like the perfect end of Christmas to me. Thanks.”
“No need to thank me.” Sara released Sofia and bent down to Tobey. “Poor puppy, mommy will kick you out of bed early.”
Tobey looked up. He had destroyed the whole box and was obviously very happy with his work.

“That smells like actual food and somecookies?” Sara sniffed the air in her kitchen. Sofia had sent her away with Tobey to have some time to prepare their dinner, which had Sara get into some comments about being a housewife and that Sofia could also use her cleaning skills to do a little spring cleaning in wintertime. Sofia had ignored that.
“Stay out of my kitchen!”
“Your kitchen?” Now Sara was amused. It seemed like the housewife in Sofia had taken over the blonde.
“I’m cooking, it’s my kitchen. Go, dry the baby, have a seat on the couch, watch some TV, keep yourself busy for a few minutes.”
“Okay.” Sara took Tobey out of the kitchen and rubbed a towel over his short hair. The young dog took this as a sign for playing and soon they were rolling around the floor, fighting for the towel. It made Tobey dry, but Sara’s clothes got wet by the dog hair and the wet towel. She didn’t really care about that. That’s why she had a washing machine and a dryer.
“You two behave like children.” Sofia had watched them for a few seconds. They both looked very cute rolling and playing on the carpet. She wished she had a video camera to save this moment for later.
“He is a child.”
“You’re an adult.”
“Only on paper.” Sara got up. “There, try to get the towel, I’ll change into something dry.”
“A dry towel?”
“Only in your dreams.”
“In my dreams, you’d wear a wet white t-shirt.”
“Pervert.” Sara closed the door behind herself and began to strip. Out of the jeans and the jumper into sweat pants and a long sleeved shirt. It was nice when she didn’t have to worry about what to wear. She could simply grab the most comfortable things and be done.
“Your dinner will be done in five minutes.” Sofia was standing at the window when Sara came back out of the bedroom.
“Am I allowed to know what it will be?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Alright. You’re very good with surprises - I’m looking forward to eating it.” She joined Sofia at the window. “What do you see?” The blonde busy looking out of the window.
“Christmas.” Sofia took a step back and Sara saw a winter wonderland. It hadn’t snowed in Fresno, no, it was a personal winter wonderland. A huge poster of a Christmas scenery was hanging in her window, some lights around it and candles in front of it.
Sara was amazed. “What is that?”
“That’s Christmas. A real Christmas just for you.”
“You got me some snow?”
“Snow, Santa Claus, gifts, the whole kitschy Christmas scene, everything people imagine about Christmas. And I have this.” She gave Sara a cookie.
“Wow, you baked.” Now Sofia had turned into a housewife. She cooked, she baked and she decorated the apartment.
“Yes, Christmas needs homemade cookies. And there’s something else Christmas needs.”
“What?”
“A Christmas song.”
“Your CD should still be in the stereo.”
“No, I mean a real song you sing.”
“You want me to sing a Christmas song?” Sara was horrified. A Christmas carol? Sofia couldn’t be serious, she must be kidding. Unfortunately her face didn’t look like she was joking.
“Yes. Come on, you can manage a ‘Silent Night’ or at least a verse or two.”
“No.”
“Yes, you can. It’s in the spirit of Christmas and I’ll sing with you.”
“Damn it, you are serious.”
“Of course I am. Come on, on three, you know the words, even as a little Grinch.”
“Why do I have to suffer?”
“To make your guest happy and no, you’re not sad that I’m still here, you don’t really want me to leave.”
“You shouldn’t bet on that anymore.”
“I do. Come on, honey, dig your best Sunday church voice out and let’s sing on three. One, two and three” And Sofia started to sing ‘Silent Night’ which left Sara no other choice but join her; with rolling eyes, but she did.
What a crazy woman. Singing a Christmas song like they were children and waiting for all the presents their parents had bought. At least Sara thought that was what families do on Christmas Day. Seeing the snow, having home baked cookies, singing songs together and simply being together.
When Sofia started the second verse she embraced Sara and pulled her close to herself. Sara found Sofia’s hands and held them. Okay, maybe this was nice, maybe this was like a Christmas she always wanted to have. It felt right and it felt complete. Could there be anything left of Christmas that Sofia hadn’t thought of? Would they watch a Christmas movie while they were eating?
“You didn’t call a poor student to play Santa Claus for us, did you?” She asked after the second verse.
“Nobut I can do that.”
“Don’t you dare! I think you covered everything Christmas is about and everything you’re supposed to do, we did. Singing, presents, cookies, winter wonderland, we had the whole package.”
“Not quite.”
“What is it that we actually haven’t done?” Sara was a little bit desperate. What was waiting for her now? Could it get worse than singing? Would Sofia drag her to church now? That would be a line Sara wouldn’t cross.
Without a word Sofia pointed above them. A mistletoe was hanging on the ceiling. Sara was very sure it hadn’t been there when she left her apartment with Tobey. Did Sofia bring all these stuff or did she buy it? No, the shops were closed, she must have had all this stuff in her bag. No wonder her bags had looked like she and Tobey wanted to move in.
“That’s not as bad as I imagined. I thought you’d drag me to the midnight mass.”
“Me? Not my business.” Sofia laughed. “Probably I’m not that welcome there either. And we don’t have time for a midnight mass, our dinner is ready to be served. Have a seat, I’ll get you your plate filled with food. You’ll have the full service.”
“I like that. First breakfast in bed and now I’ll get my dinner served.”
“A true Christmas fairy.”
“Yes.”
Sofia grinned and turned to go to the kitchen. Sara grabbed her hands, pulled her into her arms and kissed Sofia briefly on the lips.
“There’s your mistletoe tradition, now get me my food. Quick!”
“Yes ma’am!” Sofia smiled and almost flew back in the kitchen. She bet her ears were deep red and her face too. A kiss. Sara had kissed her. Okay, it was only a hint of a kiss, not even a second long, but hey, their lips had met! Now it was a perfect Christmas and there was no way Sofia would sleep tonight without Sara in her arms.

Sara put the last plate in her dishwasher. She didn’t know that Sofia was such a good cook. The blonde had managed to get them a real Christmas dinner and even a great dessert and, that was the biggest surprise for Sara, the dessert was chocolate free. A self made caramel pudding. They was it tasted, there were all calories for a whole week inside, but sugar and fat made a dish a real Christmas dish.
“Shall I shock you and tell you, we need to watch Christmas movies because it’s Christmas Day?” Sofia came with a bottle of wine in the kitchen. The last of her Christmas surprises out of her backpack.
“We watched them yesterday, today we can watch something else.”
“Hitchcock?”
“Alfred is always good and we haven’t finished the DVD box yet.”
“Even we’re done with that box, there’re a lot of more movies of the master of suspicion available.”
“Why don’t you put that bottle aside?” Sara asked when Sofia looked for a corkscrew.
“You don’t feel like wine?”
“I feel like having a little walk with you and the baby. We all had dinner, I think, it’s time for him to have a walk.”
“True. Tobey, get your leash, we’ll have a walk!” Sofia put the bottle aside and took Tobey in her arms, who came to her – without his leash.
“I love you, little puppy. You’re so cute, the west Christmas present I ever made myself. And I can’t wait until it’s summer and we both go to the beach. I’m sure you’re the perfect swimmer, my own lifeguard. And maybe you’ve also some talent for surfing.”
“More than his mommy?” Sara mocked gently.
“Shut up, I had only one lesson. One. Somebody, who made me buy a new swimsuit, promised me she’d teach me surfing and nothing happened after that one afternoon. I don’t believe that was because I’ve no talent, I think, she’s just too lazy to teach me and too scared I might be better than her.”
“Or you’re smug and she doesn’t want to be bothered with you and your arrogance.”
“I’m self-confident. And you’re a unreliable teacher.”
“We didn’t have time for another trip to the ocean, the weekend when I was in San Jose, we were busy in the city and when I was there the next time, it was too cold. But there’ll be a new summer next year and if you don’t annoy me, we can go to the beach and I’ll teach you and Tobey how to surf.”
“We won’t let you out of this, Sara.”
“I thought so.” Sara got into her coat and took the keys. With Sofia and Tobey she left her apartment and took off to the park. As they had expected, they were the only ones on the road. All the other people were inside, having Christmas dinner with their family, watching a movie, having conversations with family members, they maybe only meet on special occasions like today. In Sara’s eyes that was more Christmas than the gifts and the blinking lights everywhere. Having the people you love around you, celebrating a feast of harmony and love, feeling important, loved and safe. Parents watching their children playing with their new toys, grandparents watching proudly over their children and grandchildren. But what did she know? She never had a Christmas like that with her parents. She didn’t know her grandparents.
“Sara?”
Sofia’s voice got her out of her thoughts.
“Sorry, what did you say? I was somewhere else.” They were in the park, Tobey was running free, chasing his own shadow.
“Somewhere not nice?” Sofia got her arm around Sara. She had seen her friend was deep in her thoughts and she saw, Sara’s face got darker and darker with every second. She was sure, the brunette didn’t have nice thoughts.
“I thought of the spirit of Christmas. That we’re out here alone because everybody is at home, celebrating with their family. Big feasts, children, parents, grandparents, all happy that they’re together. The Christmas days are the perfect opportunity to come together with the people you love. And then I realized, I can only assume things like that, I never had a Christmas like that. No loving parents, no grandparents, who came over.”
“Well, you had a Christmas dinner, you had gifts, you had cookies, Christmas decoration, you even sang a Christmas Carol, there is a sexy black guy, who knows you since two days and is obviously absolutely in love with you. And a smug blonde, who annoys you and every family needs an annoying member, who is always right.”
“Who thinks, she is always right,” Sara corrected with a little smile. Sofia was right, she had her fantasy Christmas this year. She wasn’t alone. She had decoration, she had cookies and – most important – there was somebody, who wanted to be with her. For whom she was very important, who did everything to spend these days with her, who…loved her. Was in love with her. There was no need to be sad about her past when she had a present, that was just like she always wanted it to be.
“I’m glad you’re here, Sofia.” Sara stopped and looked at Sofia.
“I’m glad I’m here. I’m really glad you let me stay.”
“It would be very stupid to send you away.”
“Maybe. I’m sure not everybody would let me stay after last night.”
“Last night should be the best reason to let you stay, Sofia. You were there for me, you took care of me, you saved me from a nightmare.”
“And I told you things you didn’t want to hear.”
“I have to say I was – am – not happy, that my file was available for anybody. My past, my private life, is and was nobody’s business. Knowing Ecklie know things about me I don’t want people to know, isn’t something, that makes me feel good.”
“On top of that I told you I’m in love with you.” Sofia still wasn’t sure if she made a mistake. Sometimes it was better not to tell the whole truth. Sometimes it was better to leave people with a part of the truth.
“That are two different things. The first thing is bad, the second isn’t.”
“I’m afraid it will affect our friendship.”
“Only if we let it affect it.”
“I hope you know, I’d never do…”
“Don’t waste your breath to tell me things I already know, Sofia. I trust you. That hasn’t changed. And I hope you’ll be with me tonight, will chase away the nightmare and keep me in your arms, warm and safe.”
“You’re my CSI, it’s my duty to do so.” Sofia linked her hands with Saras. She was happy the brunette was fine with her feelings, didn’t try to avoid Sofia or pushed her away.
“I give up telling you, I’m not your CSI anymore, I’ll always be your CSI. Seems like I’m your private property. That makes you my private property.” Sara pulled Sofia in her arms. “Don’t worry, Sofia. I’m really fine with your feelings. In fact, I’m honored. Not everybody can say, that a very sexy and very stunning blonde has a crush on her. There are a lot of people, who would do a lot of things to be in my shoes.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” Sara got a bit out of Sofia’s arms. “Tobey, come back, we want to go home. Time to get a biscuit and a warm blanket. Come on, boy.” Seconds later the young dog came out of the dark to the women.
“I told you, he loves you,” Sofia laughed when Tobey dropped himself on the ground in front of Sara, got on his back so that Sara could pet his belly. To Sofia, it looked like her puppy was laughing when he had the attention of the woman. Yes, they both liked Sara a lot.