Chapter Text
Another interview is done.
All interviews have their quirks depending on the hosts, sometimes the ambiance of the recording room, the jokes, but it’s mostly the questions.
TWICE has been through so many interviews in the seven years they’ve been successfully propelling their career upward globally. But one particular kind of question is avoided by Dahyun as much as possible.
“So, out of all the girls, who do you think is the most girlfriend material?” The host faced Jihyo, cuing her to answer. Jihyo’s dating news that sent fans all over the world roaring with enthusiasm finally died down and now gave news outlets leeway in probing her dating life. Sadly, it applied to other members. All or none.
“Well, I think Sana is the person most guys would be willing to date! She just has this... aura. You know she’ll take care of you.” The leader happily answered, proud that her member takes the cake on actually being a good and caring person.
“Yeah, that’s right. Sana unnie is very expressive to us. I think it’s her most apparent trait.” Tzuyu agreed with Jihyo, followed by Chaeyoung’s approval.
“Sana got the guys’ hearts!” The host playfully applauds. “And obviously her members’ too!”
“Now to the embarrassing question!” One host announced while the other one cheered, resulting in collective ‘oh-nos’ from the girls.
“Who do you think is the least girlfriend material? Momo?" The host faced the girl who was probably floating with fairies. She was caught off-guard but answered quickly.
“Remember I’m just saying this for the sake of interview!” Momo joked. Staff and members in the room laughed more than they should.
“I think it’s Dahyun.” She continued after clearing her throat. “I’ve known Dahyun for years now. Well--- the reason is actually not a bad thing but… she’s just so focused, you know?” Momo laid back on her chair.
“Yeah, I kind of agree. The Dahyun in our dorm is actually quiet and observant, focused on a task, and not to mention reserved and secretive.” Jeongyeon contributed to Momo’s answer.
"Yeah, there you go fans! You win a bit of info about our Eagle Tofu!" The MCs clapped once more, trying to give rhythm to the interview.
“I just think that her boyfriend would have to deal with the busiest person we know.” Nayeon said in between glances at Dahyun, wanting her to participate or at least react to the conversation happening around her.
Dahyun didn’t.
“So you’re saying Dahyun doesn’t have the time for relationships?” The host cleared up.
“No, definitely not.” The members answered, except for two people.
Because Sana is sitting directly across Dahyun. Her girlfriend.
She secretly threw her a concerned, but at the same time, apologetic look.
They knew they should be used to this. The world not knowing about them. The members not noticing when they would both excuse themselves to meet each other elsewhere, trying to hide the four-year romance they’ve been protecting from the public.
Interviews like this took a toll on Dahyun. This was one of the most excruciating hours of her life.
----
“Dahyun, how were you back there? You didn’t seem well at all.” Jihyo was troubled by Dahyun’s lack of response in the interview.
“Yeah, are you okay? You didn’t even react. We were getting scared of you, you know? You basically looked riled up.” Chaeyoung says as she hands Dahyun a cup of coffee.
The girls were having their movie night. It was a way to relax and take a break from two weeks of promoting their new album.
“I just didn’t feel well. I had a… a stomach ache.” Dahyun simply answered while still looking at the TV.
“Oh good, she speaks!” Jeongyeon jested, only for Nayeon to tell her to lay off. “Shut up Jeong! You’re not helping!"
“Obviously wasn’t a stomach ache.” Tzuyu quietly spoke from the single sofa chair near the TV.
“Must’ve been all that chocolate smoothie she’d been consuming.” Then it was Sana who uttered across the living room.
Normally, Dahyun would’ve jokingly glared at her and found a way to refute the statement, but no. Dahyun just looked at Sana dead in the eye. Tired, pleading, somewhat afraid that the tears pooling in her eyes might fall and members might notice.
“Gotta pee.” Dahyun stood up and headed for the door leading outside. The members looked at each other.
“She knows that our bathroom is… that way, right?” Trying to lift the mood, Jeongyeon made a face. However, the room was now in shock that Dahyun had really just walked out of a movie night. That’s never happened before.
Sana’s heart was racing at this point. She knew something was about to go down and it wasn’t good. It would be a confrontation of the things she and Dahyun never got to talk about because of the busyness of promotions, of their career as celebrities. They’ve been shooting a lot of stuff recently and the occurrences of Sana and Dahyun getting questioned about their relationship status are piling up on both of them. A quick look there and a flash of a weak smile here are what kept them going in between shoots as the management has already told them they’ve been getting too close on camera.
“I’ll get her.”
Sana mustered the courage to fight this fear of talking about the things they should be talking about. They were nearing the point of their relationship being compromised and all the media would definitely love to dip their fingers in some new juicy dating announcement.
On their garden rooftop overlooking the city, Dahyun was standing near a hammock with arms folded, looking intently at the skyscrapers as if she was memorizing them. Each light, each flicker, and each broken one.
“I knew I’d find you here.” Sana hugged Dahyun from the back, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend’s waist.
“Been a while since I’ve been here alone. This spot… calms me down.” Dahyun said with a break in her voice. She removed Sana’s arms from her waist and turned to face her.
Dahyun had been crying. Through the faint city lights below, Sana swore she saw tear stains on her girlfriend’s cheeks and on her purple shirt. She hated seeing Dahyun this vulnerable. Not when she is one of the people who knows how Dahyun really is. How she pushes to be her best self for the fans, how she strives to keep her private life, and celebrity life separate. Even the members are unsure of how they’ve lived with Dahyun for years now and still know minimal things about her.
“Sana,” Dahyun’s face turned sorrowful as her lips trembled. “I’m tired.” She breathed in between sobs.
A wave washed over Sana as she also began to break down but she kept herself composed, forcing to look strong in front of her lover. She hugged Dahyun and lead her to sit on the hammock. A cold breeze blew and the moon was dim as the clouds blocked its light.
“I try so hard to keep things private because I don’t want the good things to be tainted. And I know I wanted this life and I would give anything for the good moments to not end… but,” She held Sana’s stare. “I can’t keep on denying you. Not like this. Not when I love you this much. It's been how many years and..." Dahyun kept trailing off but still pushes hard to continue. "I can't even hold your hand in public anymore..." She gave a full sob. Full of pleading, heartbreak, and confusion.
"We've had so many close calls, Dahyunnie. The management started to take notice... especially during the concert." Sana looked at both their hands. "I'm surprised they gave me the slip on that one. This is my fault."
"Don't say that." It was all that Dahyun said right before the gears in her head started to turn violently once more. It was scary being in Dahyun's emotional state. She was in total breakdown and Sana could only wait for the true confrontation to happen. She knew this wasn't it. It's too easy, too good for comfort.
It was a long pause. The breeze just grew colder and colder and in the distance, there were sirens. Just as Sana thought the tension was dissipating, Dahyun took the punch.
"Back when we had a solo meeting with the management," A loud, frustrated sigh followed. "Why did you agree to distance yourself from me?" Dahyun's voice was now deep and sharp. It's the kind of voice that didn't mask the hurt swirling inside a person.
"Dahyun, you know I didn't want that. You say it like I eagerly agreed to it!" Sana's voice raised quite a bit. She didn't know why but she was irked knowing the decision she made to save their relationship, not to mention career, was not understood.
"Downplay it all you want." Dahyun rolled her eyes and stood up, walked at least a meter from where she was and looked far, far away. "I want to believe that you at least fought for it. But seeing you shrug off people's comments about you and other guys like they're nothing? How you genuinely laughed at the hosts' jokes earlier?" She drew quotations marks on the air as she mentioned 'jokes'.
"How am I downplaying it? You're the one who doesn't understand the reason why we’re told to back off of each other." Sana now stood up and huffed.
"You think because some of our fans accept us that everyone will be like them once the news gets out? We lose our career, we lose those seven girls waiting for us downstairs..." She continued as heavy tears silently fell to the floor. "We lose each other."
Dahyun spun around so quickly that Sana was taken aback by the expression on her face. It was cold. Like not a word Sana said went through her brain, like they were just deflected. Sana knew she won’t weasel out of this conversation. Not when Dahyun had started to pour all the hurt out.
“Sana, there are so many ways we could avoid attention. But it doesn’t have to be you always five feet away and secretly staring at me whenever you want to check in!” Dahyun threw her hands in the air, visibly frustrated. “Didn’t you think of that?”
“I’m sorry. I really am.” Sana took a step closer to Dahyun. “I love you. You know that. More than anything.” It was almost a relief for the both of them had Sana not said, “But I can’t risk losing you and the girls. I don’t know what you want me to say.”
There was not a word that can describe how Dahyun felt so heartbroken. It wasn’t because what Sana said was true; she knew that they were. It was just the feeling of wanting to know who made the right call. Who put more thought into the decision they made, who fought harder, or listed their relationship as a priority. She knew it was selfish of her to think like this, but the moment they were told to put a space between them... it was like they were told to break up. She wasn’t the kind of person who drives a wedge between people. How much more can it hurt to be doing that to the person you love?
Dahyun sighed. She doesn’t know what to think anymore and if any of this is actually mature, but she’s already settled on a choice.
“Okay.” As she headed for the door back to the elevators, Dahyun stopped and closed her eyes. “You know what? I don’t know what I expected you to say. You’re right. It’s risky testing the water and it’s reckless. Let’s just...” She was too shaky to even say the next words. “Let’s just see how this turns out.” And with that, Dahyun left Sana in the dark.
It was sad that their chance of having a proper conversation escalated so fast into one big argument and that both of them didn’t have a clue if they can bounce back from this.