Chapter Text
So, You’ve Been Attacked
- When my friend drives up to my house and frantically tells me to get in, I will ask my questions in the car, after we have begun driving unless my friend is a known crazy person
- If my friend is a known crazy person, I will seriously consider ending the friendship, preferably via ghosting
- If I learn that someone is trying to kill me and a friend, I will, if possible, call them as I escape. Cell phones are very useful, and forewarned is forearmed
- I will, if at all possible, avoid using my highly recognizable vehicle to escape my killers. To this point, I will ensure that my vehicle is not incredibly recognizable, and if I must have an iconic vehicle, I will invest in a normal, unremarkable vehicle
- If I have not invested in an average, run of the mill vehicle, I will take an Uber or rent a car. Anything that isn’t my very recognizable vehicle
- If I am being chased, I will run to a public area, increasing the odds that someone will help me out and hopefully prevent my killer(s) from doing anything too drastic
- If I am in a Masquerade, the above is still viable. My killer(s) are presumably still bound by secrecy, and the public will have more questions for them than for me, especially if I have been seriously injured
- If I am heavily wanted, the town pariah, or my killer(s) are fine with significant collateral damage, I will ignore rule 6
- If I am a powerful, immortal being, I will invest in a safe house or go bag at some point. You can never be too paranoid, and if nothing else, having a safehouse will make you three times cooler. And it’s not like I don’t have time
- If I have recently pissed off someone(s) powerful and/or influential, I will double check my go bag and consider going on an extended vacation
- I WILL ANSWER MY FUCKING PHONE
- I will also answer/read/listen to any other communications I may receive
- I will remember that humans have killed many, many animals and people by throwing or dropping random objects at/on them. I will keep this in mind when someone inevitably gets the drop on me
- I will have a well stocked first aid kit
- I will memorize at least a few important phone numbers