Chapter Text
Izuku watched as the now skinny All Might walked away with the captured villain securely in his pocket. “Take a swan dive off the roof of the building!” Kacchan’s words from earlier played in his head as his body moved just slightly closer to the edge.
“Maybe I should?” Izuku mumbled to himself.”No, not right now at least… Mom would miss you… yeah… she would.”
Izuku sighed as he numbly walked down the stairs of the building. He didn’t even notice how far he’d walked till he was pushing the door to his apartment open. “Mom! I’m home!” He yelled but got no response. “Huh?”
He set his backpack down and strode into the kitchen. He found a note.
Hey, sweetie! I have to pull a few extra shifts at work for the next few days! Dinner is in the freezer, just heat up one of the prepaid meals.
-Love Mom!!
“Oh… right… bills are coming up soon…” he mumbled to an empty house.
She wouldn’t have to work so much if she didn’t have an extra mouth to feed and take care of. His mind hissed in his brain.
“Oh… yeah…” Izuku spoke to his thoughts. He walked into his room, deciding to skip dinner tonight. He stopped when he was bombarded by the smiling face of All Might. Tears flowed from his eyes.
“I honestly don’t think you can be a hero without a quirk.” All Might’s voice rang through his head.
Izuku sighed as he got out his phone. Pulling up a search engine he typed in: Jobs for the Quirkless.
Quirkless Unemployment Rates
Job Discrimination Against the Quirkless?
How to find job if quirkless? Please help!!
Quirkless Statistics
He shakily clicked on the 4th link. His heart fell as he read through the statistics that surrounded the Quirkless population. He found that just over 80% of the quirkless were left unemployed… if they even lived long enough to be old enough to be apart of the workforce. He felt sick as he saw that around 60% of quirkless died before they finished high school. Scrolling a bit farther, he saw that around 75% of those deaths were from suicide.
He put his phone down. “Okay then…” he wiped away the tears from his eyes. He pulled out 3 unused notebooks that he kept in a drawer beside his dresser.
He titled the first on “Kacchan” and the second one “Mom” before steadily grabbing the third one. He hesitated to come up with a title for this one, so instead, he decided to leave it blank. Pulling his phone back out, he got to work.
Sometime in the middle of the night, he heard his mom arrive home. He made sure not to make a noise. When he heard the door to her bedroom, he simply continued with his work. Before he knew it, his alarm clock went off signaling him that it was time for him to get ready for school.
He mindlessly went through the motions of getting ready. His mom was still asleep so he slipped out the door before she woke. He arrived in class earlier than usual. Only a few others were there already, notable Bakugou was already in his seat staring out the window.
Izuku decided not to bother him and instead went up to the teacher. “U-um, sir?” Izuku’s voice was soft and barely a whisper.
“What is it, Midoriya?” His tone was clearly annoyed by the youngers presence.
“I...I-I I l-like to r-remove U.A. f-from my choices.” Izuku managed to stutter out. This got Kacchan’s attention from behind him. “A-as w-well as a-all other h-hero schools, sir.”
“Oh?” Kacchan’s voice was confident and strong and everything that Izuku was not. “What happened? Finally took my advice to give up?”
“Yeah.” Izuku’s hollow voice shocked Kacchan into silence.
“Well, that seems to be all your choices. You’ll need to get back to me with new high school choices by the end of the day.” The teacher spoke, his tone was slightly more amused.
“T-that w-won’t actually be n-necessary, sir. I don’t exactly intend to survive till to high school.” Izuku’s voice went quiet.
“What was that, Midoriya? Speak up.” The teacher’s voice was firm.
“Oh! I-I said I d-don’t plan to g-go to high s-school.” Izuku’s voice sounded somehow startled.
Kacchan was only growing in confusion and anger. “What the fuck does that mean, Deku?” His voice promised pain if he didn’t like whatever answer he heard. Izuku gasped in fear.
“I-i-it’s n-n-nothing, K-Kacchan! I-I p-promise!” Izuku waved his hands in front of his face as a sign of surrender.
“Tch, whatever.” Kacchan spoke as he turned away from the conversation.
“Alright, as long as you’ve talked it over with your mother, I guess this is fine.” The teacher’s voice was passive and uncaring.
“Y-yes, sir! Th-thank you!” Izuku bowed before he made it back to his seat and pulled out the notebook with a blank cover. He marked through a line of text before moving onto the next line in the list.
Kacchan’s eye twitched in annoyance as he saw Izuku pull out his notebook.
I knew that damn nerd was lying, there’s no way he’d give up on being a hero. He’s too stupid to do that… but what the hell does he mean by “not going to high school”? What the hell is that damn nerd planning? Kacchan growled slightly. He was drawn out of his thoughts as the bell rang for school.
The school day passed slowly. Izuku made sure to keep his mouth shut so he wouldn’t accidentally mutter and annoy others. It had finally made it to the end of class, and Izuku was still scratching away in his notebook. Kacchan had finally had enough and ripped it out of his hands.
“What are you playing at, Deku? Saying you’re giving up being a hero but still taking those damn stalker notes?” Kacchan spoke as he opened the book. “I swear if you’re looking down-” Kacchan’s voice was cut off as he actually saw what was on the page. He had opened it to the first page that seemed to be a “to-do” list that was simply titled “Saying Goodbye”. He could see that “I’m sorry” was scribbled all over the margins of the page. “What the fuck is this?” Kacchan’s voice was uncertain.
Izuku grabbed his notebook back from Kacchan. “S-sorry, but I really have to get h-home.” Izuku spoke as he stood up and quickly walked to the door, leaving a stunned Bakugou. “A-and, I-I promise, I-I’m not t-trying to be a hero a-anymore… s-sorry…” Izuku spoke before running back to his house, once again, finding it empty. Once again, he threw himself into his notebooks. Constantly scratching and rewriting parts.
He skipped dinner again and didn’t sleep that night either. Izuku didn’t talk in school the next day and no one talked to him. He fell into a routine. Leave the house before mom wakes, don’t talk in school, get home, work on notebooks, get ready for the next day. The bags were steadily growing under Izuku’s eyes, but no one at school cared enough to notice. He simply faded into the background. However, he didn’t miss the few side glances from Kacchan. He was beginning to fun out of pages in his notebooks.
“Midoriya, that’s the 3rd homework assignment you’ve missed this week, one more and I’ll be forced to contact your mother.” The teacher said after Izuku’s 5th day without speaking.
“Yes, sir.” Izuku spoke, his voice was resigned as though he had finally made up his mind about something.
What the fuck? The nerd hasn’t been turning in his homework? He’s been writing in those damn notebooks for the past week, yet he hasn’t been turning in his homework? What the hell is going on with him? Something’s been off ever since… “take a swan dive off the roof” ... no… he wouldn’t… he’s too damn stubborn… why the fuck does it matter to you anyway? He’s nothing but a damn nerd. I don’t care what happens to him. Kacchan tried to dismiss his growing feelings of worry.
Izuku walked into class the next day with a determined look that helped to quell some of Kacchan’s worries.
See, the nerd is fine. It doesn’t matter. He tried to convince himself.
Like the previous days, Izuku kept quiet for the entire class. Only this time, he didn’t write in his notebooks. The day ended. Izuku shakily stood up and walked over to Kacchan. The rest of the class slowly filed out of the classroom before either boy said a word. Izuku pulled the notebook titled “Kacchan”.
“Here.” Izuku shoved the notebook forward.
“What the fuck is this?” Kacchan asked with an unreadable tone of voice.
“I-i-it’s everything I’ve ever noticed about your fighting style, quirk, and general personality for heroics and possible ideas for you to try… but only if you wanted to… I-I’m sorry, it was a stupid idea, you already know everything. You’re Kacchan, of course, you don’t need help from a pathetic Deku like me.” Izuku forced himself out of his rambles. “Just… you can throw it away if you want… just… please… if you decide to read it… please don’t read it until tomorrow?”
“The fuck?” Kacchan was at a surprising loss for words. He wanted to be angry but he couldn’t over the pure confusion. He knew Izuku wrote about him in his creepy stalker books, but he also knew that Izuku guarded those things with his life. To just be handing one away was so unlike him.
“And Kacchan, I know you don’t really care, but honestly… I think you’re so amazing… I know you’re going to make the best hero. I’m sorry I won’t be there when you take the title of number one.” Izuku spoke with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m sorry. Goodbye, Kacchan.”
With that, Izuku walked out of the door. Katsuki slowly picked up his things and grabbed the notebook and walked home, trying to shake the feeling of unease he had. He threw the notebook onto his dresser and laid in his bed. His thoughts were being drawn back to the unopen notebook.
“This is stupid.” he finally grumbled to himself as he walked over and opened the notebook. Reading through, he was honestly kinda impressed by how detailed the notes were. And while he’d never admit it, he did want to try out some of the tips. Flipping through he came across a page at the end that was formatted differently from the rest. He stopped and realized that it was a letter. He started reading.
Dear Kacchan,
I’m honestly not sure what to put here. I just felt that you deserved a proper explanation and apology.
“Apology? For what? What could he possibly have to apologize for?” Katsuki muttered as he read.
I’m really sorry. For everything really. I’m sorry for getting in your way so much. I’m sorry for always holding you back. I’m sorry I am was so useless. I’m sorry for being born quirkless. I’m sorry for being born in general. I’m sorry for existing. I know it’s my fault that I’m useless. It’s my fault that I’m like this. Please know that none of this is your fault. I made this choice. I chose to end it. There was no more need for someone as useless as me.
Katsuki dropped the book as he finally realized what this note was. It was Izuku’s suicide note.
“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!” Katsuki yelled as he pulled out his phone and dialed Izuku’s number. “Pick up the damn phone, Deku! DAMN IT!”
“Katsuki! What the fuck is going on?!” His mother yelled, annoyance clear in her voice.
“NOT NOW, HAG!” Katsuki yelled back. Something about his tone of voice made her pause. He took the phone down from his ear and typed in a new number. “Come on!!!”
“Katsuki?” the soft voice of Inko could be heard.
“Auntie! Where’s Deku?” Katsuki asked with a panicked voice.
“I’m not sure sweetie. I’m just getting back from work now. Is everything okay?” Inko’s voice was worried.
“Shit! Just, get home as fast as you can and call me if he’s there! I’m going to the school to look for him!” Katsuki yelled as he hung up the phone and started to run towards the door.
“Katsuki, what’s going on?” his mother asked.
“I think Deku’s about to commit suicide.” Katsuki’s voice was shaky and filled with fear.
“Oh shit…” His mother whispered under her breath.
“Yeah,” Katsuki said as he ran out of the door and sprinted his way toward the school. He pulled out his phone and dialed for the police.
“110, what is your emergency?” a voice came from the other side.
“I’m headed to Aledra junior high. Send an ambulance or something! I think my friend’s about to jump off the building.” Katsuki spoke with a panicked tone. He felt his heart stop as he saw a figure at the top of the building… with one foot already off. “Shit!”
Katsuki watched as Izuku fell. The phone slipped from his hand as he tried to run faster. He was too slow. He didn’t make it there in time. All he could do was watch as Izuku’s body hit the pavement with a sickening crack.
For just a moment, everything stopped.
Soon, he saw the flashing red lights of the ambulance. He watched as people ran over to Izuku’s bleeding body. He held his breath as they checked for a pulse.
“He’s still breathing!” He heard one of the people yell. Relief rushed over him as he fell to his knees. He watched as the people carried Izuku into an ambulance.
“Sir, can you tell me your name?” Someone asked.
Oh, they’re talking to me… I should probably respond. Katsuki shook his head out of his thoughts.
“Bakugou Katsuki.” Katsuki’s voice was shaky.
“What can you tell me about the boy?” the person asked.
“His name is Midoriya Izuku. I-I have to call his mother. Where’s my damn phone?” Katsuki screamed as he looked around.
“Sir! You have to calm down! Can you tell me his mother’s name?” The person's voice was commanding yet somehow gentle.
“Midoriya Inko. She’s… she’s a nurse at the Masutafu general hospital.” Katsuki tried to focus on the person in front of him instead of watch as Izuku was gently placed stretcher.
“Good, you’re doing good. Just follow my breathing okay?” The person, he could now tell was a blond haired girl in EMT gear, was speaking gently. He watched as Izuku was gently placed on a stretcher and rolled into a still flashing ambulance.
“Is-is… is he gonna be okay?” Katsuki asked, his voice barely a whisper.
“I’m sorry, sir, I don’t have enough information to answer that, but I can promise you the doctors are going to do everything in their power to make sure he is.” She paused. She noticed that he was calming down from his panic attack. “Sir, are you able to give me his mother’s phone number?”
“Yeah, just, let me grab my phone.” He spoke as he looked around. Finally seeing his phone where he had dropped it. Unshockingly, there was a spiderweb crack covering the screen. However, it still turned on when he pushed the button. He pulled up a contact titled “Auntie Inko” and passed it over to the EMT worker.
“Thank you, sir.” She spoke as she hit call. As the woman called the phone number, Katsuki saw his mother's car pull up. As soon as she saw Katsuki, she went running over to him.
She tightly pulled him into a hug and all he was able to do was mutter quite “I’m sorry”s. After the EMT worker handed him back his phone, his mom talked to her and told them which hospital Izuku was being taken to. She quickly thanked the EMT worker and got in the car with Katsuki as they drove in silence to the emergency room.