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The moments after the kiss felt like a blur. Sokka wasn't sure what to think or how to react, but when Zuko collapsed, his heart froze. Nothing else mattered at that moment except making sure Zuko was okay. Nothing else...not even Suki. Sokka had to give her credit, she stood there stoically while he helped the others move Zuko into a tent. She had probably expected him to leave once the physical part was over, but Sokka couldn't go. Not until he knew Zuko would be okay.
Okay, maybe that was a lie. Sokka stayed even after Katara reassured him a million times that Zuko had merely passed out due to exhaustion, pain, and intense emotion. Still, Sokka couldn't bear to leave his side. After he heard what had happened and saw the blistered scar on Zuko's chest, how could he abandon his friend? He had saved Katara and, in the process, nearly killed himself. Suki left the second he took Zuko's hand. He should have known better, maybe even ran after her, but Sokka's body wouldn't move.
At first, Zuko made no sound or movements, but when Katara's forehead began to bead with sweat, the scared boy began to writhe in pain. Sokka's first instinct was to stop Katara. How could this be helping Zuko when clearly he was in pain? Toph must have noticed the micromovements Sokka was making trying to restrain himself. She knelt down beside him and took Zuko's hand.
"I think its time for you to go," Toph said, her voice not as blunt as usual, "Zuko will be fine. You need to go talk to Suki." As much as Sokka hated to admit it, Toph was right. Now was not the time, and he had a lot of explaining to do. How was he going to describe something, even he didn't understand?
Sokka didn't know what he was expecting to see when he walked out of the tent, but Suki's tear-stained face was like a punch in the gut. When she met Sokka's eyes, she turned and retreated into her tent. He hesitated a moment, unsure if it would be better to pursue her or give her space. Ultimately they were going to have to talk eventually. Might as well get it out of the way.
"Suki, wait," Sokka called, pulling the fabric open, "I can explain..."
Suki spun around to face him, her expression filled with hurt, "you dont have to explain. I saw exactly what was going on." Her voice was steady and cold as she spoke despite the genuine emotion shown on her face.
"Nothing was going on," Sokka countered, heart pounding in his chest, "I was just as shocked as you were about the kiss!" He tried to step closer, but Suki held up her hand in warning.
"I know you were," Suki sighed, "but you didn't see yourself melt into Zuko's arms. I did. I saw you kiss him back before you realized what was going on." Sokka watched the anger seep out of Suki as her shoulders dropped along with her eyes.
"I never meant to hurt you," Sokka whispered. He knew his instinct was relief and joy when Zuko embraced him when he felt Zuko's lips. Sokka couldn't help his body's reactions before his brain caught up. Could he?
"I know," Suki said, running her hand through her hair, "I appreciate that you stopped once you realized what was happening." She sank down on her bedroll and wrapped her arms around her knees. "I'm glad you remembered me if only for a few minutes," Suki scoffed before sighing heavily.
"He is my best friend," Sokka whispered, his mind at war with that statement, "Look, Suki, I know what happened was wrong and that I hurt you, but please know that I will never let that happen again." Suki shook her head, and he knelt down before her. He took carefully, took her face in his hands, and said, "I love you, Suki. You are the one I want to be with."
Suki seemed happy with that answer even if a part of Sokka hated the statement. He did love Suki, but he also loved Zuko. While his heart was at war, Sokka's mind was made up. His father had always taught him to be faithful, and that was precisely what Sokka intended to do.
~~~
It had been five days since the war finally ended, and two of those days, Zuko spent unconscious. During those three remaining days, the only people he saw were Aang, Katara, and Mai. No one had mentioned what had happened that night, and Zuko wasn't sure if he was relieved or hurt that Sokka didn't stop by to visit. He was, however, surprised when Mai came by.
"You came," Zuko said, struggling to sit up as his wounds protested. He had thought Mai would have hated him after reading his letter. Or at least be angry that Zuko didn't break up with her in person.
"Of course I came," Mai's voice was soft with a hint of smugness, "I love you." Zuko tried not to flinch at her words. During his time with the Avatar, Zuko realized a lot about himself. A lot of things he never knew were possible. "That doesn't mean I'm not pissed at you," Mai said, sitting on the bed next to him, "It was pretty low to break up with me over a letter, but you did help stop the war like you promised. So I guess I can forgive you."
"Mai," Zuko began but was promptly cut off by one of Mai's long fingers. She shushed him before moving her hand to caress his cheek. The sadness Zuko had felt about being rejected by Sokka once again resurfaced. This time, however, it was because he needed to be the one doing the rejecting. Before Zuko could speak again, Mai leaned down to kiss him. He was able to turn last minute, and her lips landed on his cheek.
"I see," Mai said, pulling away, "I wondered if the journey would change you. Or at least change your mind about me." To others, Mai always seemed sad, but Zuko knew better. The look on her face now was real sadness, and once again, Zuko felt his heart break.
"It's not what you think," Zuko whispered, anxiety creeping through his body, "I didn't change. It's more so that I was finally able to learn things about myself." He could feel the sweat on various parts of his body. "And while I still love you," Zuko said, somehow finding the courage to look Mai in the eye, "I can't love you the way you want me to."
"I think I understand," Mai said, a sad smile curling her lips, "I find myself being attracted to both genders, but I can see you have a preference for one. and I am not that gender."
Zuko nodded, "I guess you could say that." They sat there in silence for a moment before they both began to laugh. That was one thing Zuko had always loved about Mai. They just understood one another. "Thank you," Zuko said, taking her hand, "I am sorry I hurt you."
"Don't thank me for being a decent person," Mai scoffed, but her eyes were kind, "I just want you to be happy, Zuko. You deserve happiness after everything you've gone through." She must have seen the pain in Zuko's eyes. "So, who is it," Mai asked, trying to play casual, "It's not the avatar, is it?"
Zuko couldn't help but laugh at that notion. "Aang is a great friend, but he is a little young, dont you think," Zuko teased before sighing, "No, it's actually Sokka. The water tribe boy."
"Oh, the one Ty-Lee had a crush on," Mai teased, making him roll his eyes, "So what's the problem? Is he straight?" Somehow, Zuko felt like that would be a less painful option. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
"No, I dont think he is straight," Zuko said, remembering the far too brief kiss, "And I actually think he feels the same for me. The only problem is that he has a girlfriend." The words felt like led on his tongue, heavy and bitter.
"Oh," Mai said and nodded, "That's rough, buddy." She seemed surprised by Zuko's bark of bitter laughter. "What's so funny," She asked, raising an eyebrow.
"It's a long story," Zuko said, wiping a tear from his eye, "A very long story." The escape from boiling rock seemed like years away, the natural humor seemed unobtainable now. "Thank you for coming," Zuko said genuinely, "I didn't think you would want to see me after everything."
"Dont be stupid, Zuko," Mai said deadpan, "You are still one of my best friends regardless of our relationship status." They spent a few more hours talking and catching up about what happened while Zuko was gone. While he was enjoying himself, his body was telling him otherwise. The deep ache in his chest began to get more prominent, and the need to rest became urgent.
"Get some sleep," Mai said, bending down to kiss Zuko's forehead, "I'll see you on coronation day."