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“Guang-Hong, wait up!”
Leo skated over to the gate, reaching for his best friend’s arm and holding him back as the rest of the skaters in their practice group filed off the ice. “Would you mind staying a little longer?” he asked in response to Guang-Hong’s quizzical look. “There’s something I want to show you.”
“I don’t mind, but is that okay? I mean, practice is over for the day.”
“Yeah, it’s fine. I already got permission. It’ll just take a few minutes.”
In fact, when he told his coach his plans the day before the summer training camp began, she had been more than eager to help him pull it off. “It’s about damn time you made a move, boy!” she had said, making Leo wonder just how obvious his feelings for Guang-Hong were.
Apparently very obvious, according to Phichit when he texted him about it afterwards. So obvious that a bunch of skaters had even set up a betting pool, wagering on when he would finally work up the nerve to confess. How everybody else managed to figure it out when Leo himself had only recently come to the realization that he thought of Guang-Hong as more than a friend, he had no clue, but if he managed to pull it off by tonight, Phichit stood to make quite the pretty penny.
Not that he was doing it for Phichit.
No, he was doing it for himself. For the past couple of months, thoughts of Guang-Hong had consumed both his sleeping and waking dreams, his heart pounding every time they managed to find the time to Skype each other during their busy summer schedules. Several times Leo had come close to confessing over one of those precious video calls only to back away at the last moment in cowardice, telling himself it was too impersonal to say when they were halfway across the world from each other, although he doubted he would have been able to do it in person either.
It was after one such call when inspiration struck. If he couldn’t say it with words, then Leo would say it with music, finding courage in the place where he could always find it – on the ice.
“So, what did you want to show me, Leo?” Guang-Hong asked once all the other skaters had left the rink, leaving them the only two on the ice.
“I, uh… Well, I finished choreographing my new short program the other day,” Leo said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I wanted you to be the first to see it.”
Guang-Hong’s dark brown eyes lit up. “You mean I finally get to see this mysterious short program of yours? The one you’ve been giving hints about on Instagram?”
“Y-Yeah. I mean, I haven’t had much time to practice it yet, so it might be a little rough in places, but…”
“That doesn’t matter. I’m sure it’s already amazing.”
I hope so, Leo thought. Even though it was only the short program, he had put his heart and soul into it, wanting everything to be perfect, from the music to the step sequence to the jumps and spins. The only thing missing was a costume, but that wouldn’t be ready for another couple of weeks. He would just have to make due with his black pants and the Aerosmith T-shirt Guang-Hong had given him for his 21st birthday last year.
“Hey, is it okay if I film you?” Guang-Hong asked after he slipped his hot pink skate guards over his blades and stepped off the ice. He held up his phone, a picture of him and Leo at last season’s Worlds banquet throwing up peace signs serving as the wallpaper on his lock screen. “I promise I won’t upload it anywhere if you don’t want me to.”
“Maybe not this time.” Leo wanted Guang-Hong’s focus to be entirely on him, not fiddling with the camera on his phone. “Just watch me, okay?”
“Oh, okay.” Guang-Hong seemed a little surprised by the request but didn’t protest, shrugging and putting his phone back in his bag.
Leo skated over to the boards, holding out his own phone which he had already set up to play his short program music through the rinkside Bluetooth speakers. “Can you manage the music, though? I already have the song queued, so all you need to do is press play whenever I hit my opening pose.”
“Yeah, sure.” He accepted the offered phone, Leo grasping at Guang-Hong’s wrist on reflex. “Leo?”
“Oh, um…” Leo released his grip, letting out a nervous chuckle. “I...uh… I just wanted to let you know before I began that I created this program with you in mind. It’s dedicated to you.”
Guang-Hong cutely cocked his head to the side. “Me? But why…?”
“I think you’ll understand once you see it. At least, I hope you do.”
With that, Leo skated off, though he didn’t immediately take his position at center ice. Instead, he skated a couple of laps around the rink, burning off some of his excess nervous energy.
“You can do this, Leo,” he muttered to himself in Spanish. “You’re only skating for one person, not for a crowd or for the judges. This should be easy!”
Yet, glancing over at Guang-Hong at the boards, his finger hovering over the phone in his hand as he waited in anticipation for Leo to begin, he couldn’t help but think he was about to attempt the hardest thing he had ever done, more nerve-wracking than even competing at Nationals a couple of years ago when his spot on the U.S. Olympic team had been on the line. Thank goodness he had decided not to wait until his season debut to show Guang-Hong his short program; making a public love confession on top of competing would have been near impossible.
Maybe it was impossible for him even now. A knot began forming in Leo’s stomach as the enormity of what he was about to do hit him. At the end of the two minute, forty-second program, his relationship with Guang-Hong would change forever, for better or for worse. Was he really willing to risk what they had for the chance of something more?
“Go for it, Leo!” Guang-Hong shouted, his voice echoing throughout the arena and knocking Leo out of his spiraling thoughts.
Leo cracked a smile. Funny, if only Guang-Hong knew what he was encouraging him to do… But it turned out to be exactly what he needed to hear. He had already made his decision. Now it was time to go for it, to put his heart on the line and tell Guang-Hong how he really felt about him.
“Okay, I’m doing this!”
He pumped his fists a couple of times, then finally took his place at center ice, getting into his opening pose. Legs together. Arms crossed over his chest. Head bowed.
It was show time.
Guang-Hong hit “Play” on the phone, a cover version of “I’ve Been Thinking About You” blasting through the speakers.
The choice of music, as always for Leo, had been the most important and time-consuming part of the process of creating the short program. Leo had spent hours listening to songs on Spotify, trying to find the perfect lyrics to convey how he felt. In the end, it was a relatively unknown Mariah Carey song from the early 90s that spoke most to him, although Leo had still wanted to put his own spin on it. He had Jamal, a good friend of his with a fantastic voice, re-record the vocals, then asked Otabek to cut and remix the music so that it worked better for a short program, highlighting the required technical elements. The resulting collaboration was nothing short of amazing, Leo catching Guang-Hong already shaking his shoulders to the hip-hop beat as he raised his head a few measures into the song.
At least he likes the music, Leo thought as he danced through the opening part of choreography, but there wasn’t too much time to focus on Guang-Hong’s initial reaction. His first major element – and the most difficult for him – came early in the program when he was still on fresh legs. Though his lack of a quad had been harped on by commentators, journalists, and skating bloggers alike for most of his senior career, insisting that he wouldn’t be able to compete with the likes of Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin, and JJ Leroy without one despite his artistry, last season he actually managed to land a couple of rather nice quad salchows in his free, something finally, finally clicking with him in regard to his nemesis. In fact, it was becoming consistent enough in practice that Leo planned to include it in his short program, too.
As he set up for the jump, Leo briefly considered playing it safe and going for the triple, but he decided that as long as he was taking risks, he might as well go for broke. It wasn’t the cleanest landing, maybe slightly under-rotated, yet Guang-Hong clapped and cheered as if it was worthy of +5 GOE. Leo smiled and relaxed a little. With that out of the way, he could concentrate on performing and trying to get his message across.
He put his heart and soul into every move he made, occasionally mouthing along with the lyrics. At first, Guang-Hong didn’t seem to comprehend that the lyrics were meant to be directed toward him, dancing and grooving along to the beat while cheering Leo on as he proceeded to land a clean triple axel and a triple Lutz-triple loop combination. However, the moment Jamal hit the bridge and Leo started skating his step sequence, Guang-Hong suddenly went quiet and still, clutching the front of his T-shirt.
Was that a good sign? Bad? Distracted, Leo stumbled out of a twizzle but managed to keep himself from falling, cursing himself in colorful Spanish as he finished the rest of the steps. Out of all the elements to make a major mistake on, it had to be on something he considered one of his strengths!
All that was left after that was his change-of-foot combination spin which he pulled off with no problems, hitting his ending pose by crossing his left foot over his right ankle and shooting fingerguns in Guang-Hong’s direction.
The arena remained silent save for Leo’s panting breaths of exertion and the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears.
He hates it.
Leo exhaled, lowering his arms and uncrossing his ankles. He bent over, hands on his knees, and tried to hold back the urge to cry. He had always known there was a chance that Guang-Hong wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings, yet he had hoped…
“Leo?”
Leo glanced up. Guang-Hong had rejoined him on the ice, skating over with Leo’s thermos and phone, both which he handed back over when Leo stood back up and straightened his posture. “Gracias,” he said, stuffing his phone in his pocket and gulping down whatever water was left in the thermos. He made a point of not looking at Guang-Hong, unsure of what to say or do.
“So, uh…” Guang-Hong cleared his throat, fidgeting in place. “What you said earlier? About how you created that program with me in mind? Um, does that mean you…?
Leo stopped chugging his water, swiping his arm over his mouth. He could lie, say that Guang-Hong had misinterpreted the meaning behind the program. Guang-Hong was fluent enough in English, but there were times he failed to pick up on the subtleties of the language. If he laughed it off, maybe he could salvage their friendship before it was too late...
Leo squeezed the thermos in his left hand. No, that wouldn’t be fair to Guang-Hong. He deserved the truth.
“Yeah,” he finally answered. “Yeah, I like you. Not just as a friend, but…” Leo licked his lips, which had become dry and chapped in the freezing cold of the rink, and swallowed before continuing. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, though. There’s still plenty of time before the new season starts. I can choreograph a new short progr—”
“What? Why?” Guang-Hong interrupted, his eyes going wide. “That short program was absolutely amazing – the best program you’ve ever created. You have to skate it next season!”
“Wait. You...liked it?”
“Of course I did.” He stepped closer, reaching for Leo’s free hand and grasping it between his own. Despite the cold of the rink, Guang-Hong’s hands were somehow warm and toasty. “It was incredible.” He shook his head. “No, you are incredible, Leo.”
He was dreaming, right? That had to be it, or maybe a hallucination?
Yes, a hallucination! That’s what it was.
Yet the sensation of Guang-Hong’s lips brushing against his felt undeniably real, Leo’s brain short-circuiting. “G-Guang-Hong?”
A faint blush crossed the bridge of Guang-Hong’s nose, highlighting his adorable freckles. “Want to know a secret?” he asked, not waiting for an answer before once again moving close, his mouth right next to Leo’s ear.
“I’ve been thinking about you, too.”