Work Text:
I don't want to be both right and wrong
She remembers the day she was turned, on the verge of death. So very long ago. A vampire she doesn’t even remember the name of.
The flower in the heart is withered, it won't go back
She’d been revolted at first, Jihyo held no desire to live forever. And the price to pay was too high.
I hope to wash away the glitz and go to the dust
Indulge in a jug of wine with you
Jeongyeon and Nayeon were two singers in a traveling troupe. Jihyo was merely an official’s daughter. When the day ended and they took off their makeup, Jihyo stood at the ready, to hear about their days and lives- forever changing and interesting. They’d sought comfort in her stability.
I don't want to be both right and wrong
The flower in the heart is withered, it won't go back
She stood, unchanged, at their funerals. She couldn’t turn them to stay by her side, she wasn’t that selfish. As they aged, she remained youthful- and had needed to run away for fear of being discovered. As time passes and the world grows over their graves, she still visits .
Memories go back and forth, but this heart hurts
Momo, Sana, and Mina came along much later, at a time of awkward relations. Jihyo had met them briefly, daughters of upper crust Japanese society, aiding a Korean liberation front. Jihyo had greeted their allies warily, but soon they became their friends.
I hope that I will only regret the rest of my life
Momo and Sana were bubbly and open, wild and free in the way girls in coming centuries were getting to be. Mina was sweet and quiet, with a ruthless competitive streak.
And all three were long dead, shot in the head for being traitors to their empire. All three were heroes.
A pot of wine, a dusty ash
And only Jihyo remembered.
I have no regrets for the rest of my life
Daehyun and Chaeyoung found her like that, standing over graves.
They’d laughed over her “vintage” style, taking her to shops that the new South Korea had to offer. She’d been anxious about the division, but the kids today seemed so content.
A spring and autumn, life and death, glitz and glory
She’d been tempted to just leave the entire country behind, but in this dirt lay the five of them. The only five people to ever care about Jihyo and leave imprints on her heart. These two soon joined those names, smiling kindly and wailing over schoolwork together.
Get drunk again when the flowers are open
The temptation rose again, as she stood at the Olympics (what an interconnected world this Earth had become) that had nearly been destroyed by a bombed plane. A plane with two smiling and kind people who had warmed what was remaining of her cold and dead heart. The year was 1988 of this era, and she’d once more lost something precious.
I don't want to be both right and wrong
The flower in the heart is withered, it won't go back
Was it because she wasn’t human? Did making her a vampire who lived to leech off of human life and incapable of dying twist fate to hate her? She’d stood at the latest grave, flowers in hand, outside of Korea for the first time in her entire life.
Memories go back and forth, but this heart hurts
I hope that I will only regret the rest of my life
Chou Tzuyu, from Taiwan. Kind, if a little stoic. She had come dreaming of being a star, studying under a big corporation. Jihyo wondered what Nayeon and Jeongyeon would think of today’s music. They’d like this young and determined girl who would stop at nothing for her dreams.
A jug of wine, a dusty ash
An overturned ferry, students dead. Tzuyu had been among them.
I have no regrets for the rest of my life
It wasn’t fair. Every friend she made, every person who touched her heart had their fingers taken off of it, leaving only a print.
A spring and autumn, life and death, glitz and glory
Get drunk again when the flowers are open
Jihyo looked at the green bottle on the table before her.
May this time of life no longer wither
Wait for the flowers to bloom again
She’d been alive for too long. Everyone who held a foothold in her heart was history. The world shifted and formed around their deaths. One of numbers on records, or forgotten between the lines of history books.
May this time of life no longer wither
Then look back and taste the aftertaste of the wine
They all met along the way, she’d stood at their funerals, unchanged.
It was her curse to bear, wasn’t it?
A jar of wine, a dusty ash
I have no regrets for the rest of my life
A spring and autumn, life and death, glitz and glory
She doesn’t regret very much, but sometimes she ponders the what ifs. She doesn’t regret meeting any of them, she doesn’t regret loving all of them in their own ways.
Get drunk again when the flowers are open
A jar of wine, a dusty ash
I have no regrets for the rest of my life
A tear traces its way from the corner of her undead eye. Could she have saved them in time? Could they all still be by her side?
No.
She wouldn’t wish this pain, losing and gaining in an endless cycle, on anyone.
A memory, life is gone, heart is gone
Go back and taste the aftertaste of the wine
Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo, Sana, Mina, Daehyun, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu.
She tastes their names on her tongue. They mix with soju and pain. She misses them, she misses them so badly.
They all would have been great friends, she thinks.
A memory, life is gone, heart is gone
Go back and taste the aftertaste of the wine
But in the end, everyone and everything becomes history, crumbling beneath the dirt. And Jihyo can only raise a glass to them.