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The first time she heard his voice, she hadn’t paid him any notice. Hadn’t even granted her blessing. Just a hunter in the woods. She had many, and he wasn’t special. It was only through his repetition of his simple requests that he caught her attention at all.
“If I must hunt, let it be fruitful. Let me honor the life I must take for myself and others, only taking what I need. Let the kill be fast, clean, and easy.”
It was so different from the prayers she usually received for bountiful kills and glorious hunts, with the desire of honor and prestige. When was the last time she had heard such an earnest request? The first time she dismissed it. The second time she paused and gave her blessing. And the third time she sought the source.
She found him nimbly slipping through the forest floor, his movements fast and stealthy as he tracked a stag. She secretly tracked alongside him. Watching as he used shadows to his advantage as he hunted his prey. Calculating and smart, he was able to predict and adapt. He was not cruel. His kill was fast, clean, and easy. He had sought her blessing but it was unneeded.
From then on she found herself seeking him day in and day out to watch him. She found herself drawn to him. She saw the warmth in his dark eyes as she cursed his love of squandering his mortality napping in the trees. Still he only took what was needed and never sought more, and always granted compassion when he could. She watched him help a doe who was injured, watched as he helped the other villagers (though he often complained), and watched as he grew taller and older. Through it all, he kept the same simple prayer and stayed true to its words.
Then one day he called out to her, “If you are going to continue to follow me, you might as well join me.”
She had never been spotted before, but she realized she shouldn’t have been surprised. His cleverness was more than she had given him credit for and more than any other man she had seen. So she stepped out to reveal herself.
“I’m Shikamaru, though I suspect you already know. And who are you?”
It was a harder question to answer than one would think. As a goddess she went by many names, Diana, Artemis, Devana, Bendis, and many others. She stared at him and made her choice, “Temari.” A name she had never shared nor been known to any mortal before.
“Well, Temari, why is a goddess following me in the woods?”
Why did she follow him? Embarrassment flooded through her with no answer forthcoming. Her cheeks heated and her temper flared. “Why do you ask for a blessing you do not need?”
“Ahh, so you're the goddess of the hunt. I know you by a different name.”
“Well, you now know me as Temari.”
He rolled his eyes, “Well, Temari , should we go? Are you going to join me as usual?”
As a goddess she expected to be treated with fear and respect, but never such treatment from a human. How long had he known she was often with him? Confounded, she lamely nodded her head to confirm. With her response he headed off deeper into the forest, and she rushed to catch up and join him at his side.
He watched her out of the corner of his eyes as they weaved through the trees. He couldn’t help but be drawn to her. It was the strength in her stride. The wildness in her eyes. The danger in her smile. The freedom of the wind in her hair. Things he had only known in the animals he sought. It was something that could be hunted but not captured.
“We know where you go everyday.” The words were spoken quietly, but still stopped Temari in her tracks. The god of war was not known for many words, so even his sister would take note.
“I don’t know what you mean, Gaara.”
Temari’s other brother Kankuro spoke up, “We know you spend most of your days with a human man, and have been doing it for quite some time. We’ve seen the both of you with our own eyes… and seen how you look at him.”
She rounded on him with anger flashing in her eyes, “So now you spy on me?!”
Gaara’s calm voice cut in, “Not intentionally. And if we noticed, it won’t be long before the others do... if they haven’t already. You need to stop seeing him. You know what could happen.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about. There is nothing going on. I just find Shikamaru interesting and good company.”
Gaara took a deep breath as he looked to Kankuro before returning his gaze to her. “Temari, you aren’t just the goddess of the hunt and animals, but you are also the protector of maidens. You’ve sworn to never marry and to never tie your love to any man. Many women swear themselves to you in order to seek protection from men. And if you continue on this path, you will lose your powers to do just that.”
“I know what I protect and the responsibilities that come with it. I know what is at stake, but it’s nothing like that. We are merely friends. That is all.”
Kankuro cut in, “You have worked so hard and you protect so many. Don’t throw it away for a mortal!”
She scoffed, “Why do you think I would?!”
“Then do not spend your days with him anymore. Do not think of him. Let him marry, grow old, and die without ever seeing him again,” Kankuro entreated.
Temari grew quiet, as she reflected on his words. The very thought of never seeing Shikamaru again made her chest tighten. Her days would be cold and lonely now, after knowing his company. Even now she longed to be with him. The idea that he would spend his life with someone else made her stomach turn. Her brothers were right, and she had been blind to her growing feelings. When had she been ensnared and her heart captured by Shikamaru?
“How did you know it was love when even I did not?” Holding back the tears that threatened her eyes, she left the room without waiting for an answer. She would keep her tears with what was left of her pride. She would do what she must for her people, even if it broke her heart into pieces in the end.
The words fell again from Kakuro’s mouth, even though she was no longer there to listen, “We’ve seen how you look at him.” After all, how could he not? Part of Kankuro’s godly powers were of truth and prophecy.
“We’ve said what we could. We must leave her alone now, Kankuro.” Gaara advised. He was always the calmer and logical one, but Kankuro could not listen.
Kankuro loved few as much as he loved his sister. It was this love that made him seek out Shikamaru to end things so she wouldn’t have to. It was this same brotherly love that caused him to take a giant and highly poisonous scorpion with a plan to end the man.
Temari stood in front of the man she now knew she loved. Fighting with herself to find a way to tell him that she would never see him again.
She swallowed hard, trying to make herself sound stronger than she felt, “Shikamaru, we need to talk.”
Shikamaru slightly frowned, “Yeah, we do.” Not waiting for her to continue, he reached forward and took her hand and pulled her along to a nearby clearing with a lake. The feeling of their hands entwined combined with what she was there to do made her heart tighten painfully.
He guided them to a couple large rocks and proceeded to sit down on it. She followed his lead and sat beside him. Only then noticing the wrinkle in his brow and the seriousness in his eyes.
“I need to tell you…” he tenderly stroked his thumb over the knuckles of the hand he still held as he looked into her eyes.
She could see it now. He loved her too, and she didn’t know if she could take hearing those words from his mouth and still leave. She pulled her hand back, “Stop, Shikamaru. Stop. I have something to say to you first.”
“Just let me speak first, troublesome woman.”
“Goddess. I’m a goddess, Shikamaru.” She didn’t mean for the words to come out hostile, but they had. She was angry that she found herself here with the man she loved, a man she couldn’t have, and he still found a way to make it all more difficult.
He rolled his eyes and sighed, “Fine, goddess… whatever, it doesn’t matter.”
“But it does matter, Shikamaru. That’s the whole problem!”
He looked her in the eye, “I know.”
Her laugh was sharp and mocking, “But you don’t. You couldn’t possibly…”
Frustrated, Shikamaru cut in, “I know, Temari. Your brother Apollo, or Kankuro, or whatever you call him,” Shikamaru waved his hand in uncharacteristic impatience, “he told me. That’s why I have to tell you this.”
Confusion fell over Temari and she fell silent. What had Kankuro said? Her brother refused to stay out of her business. Had he told Shikamaru of her feelings? Did Shikamaru now plan to end whatever it was between them and tell her that he never wanted to see her again? Would it hurt less if he was the one to say it? The quiet between the two seemed to stretch on until she finally felt the courage to ask, “Tell me what?”
He resolutely looked into her eyes. Willing her to listen and understand. He was coming to her with his heart in his hand. “I love you.”
She hadn’t expected it. Shikamaru was logical and calculating, he should have understood that she couldn’t abandon her people for him… for only the both of them. Her voice shook, “No, Shikamaru. No. I can’t...” She turned to stare out over the lake rather than at his eyes. Pain filling her.
“I think I found a way for us… but only if you feel the same way about me.” Shikamaru stared at her urging her to speak. When he could take her silence no longer, he pushed her with his words again, “How do you feel about me?”
She turned her head back to him and looked at him with eyes as glassy as the water. Unable to let her heart fully believe, “I love you, too, but...”
Relief flooded through him and he leaned forward, pulling her into his arms and capturing her lips in his. She wanted to live in his arms and just forget, but the idea that it couldn’t last nagged at the back of her head.
It was Temari who pulled away first. Slightly breathless, but cautiously optimistic that he found a way, “So, how will this work, Mr. Genius?”
“When your brother came to kill me the other day...”
“What?!” Really, she shouldn’t have been surprised, but she was.
“Oh, yeah…” he chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, “he brought a giant poisonous scorpion to kill me. When he was about to unleash it on me, he mentioned something about saving you heartache and not understanding the situation I put you in. I got him to tell me of your oath and of your powers, and about what would happen if you love a man.”
Temari blushed and looked down. Kankuro had told Shikamaru of her feelings before she even had. Yet, Shikamaru had still insisted on hearing the words from her. He already knew when she showed up today.
Shikamaru reached forward and gently took her chin moving to raise her eyes to him, “I told him to go ahead and release the scorpion to kill me, because I would rather be dead than make you choose… but seeing the feelings I had for you, he couldn’t do it.”
She gave a little laugh in disbelief, “Kankuro is such a softy, though he hates to admit it. And you’re very lucky that he is.”
“Well, after that I got him talking about the exact oath and rules. I found a loophole. And he’s been helping me with it… I can be transformed into an animal for more than 50% of each day. This will make me considered more animal than man.”
“But I couldn’t ask you to do such a thing, Shikamaru!”
His voice was strong and sure, “And you haven’t. I want to be with you, at your side. This is a small thing to get to do so. It’s what I want.”
“But are you sure?” She wanted him to say yes, but she couldn’t believe that he would do such a thing just to be with her.
“If you are sure you want me, then I am.”
She grinned, “What animal do you think you’ll be?”
He smirked, “How about a cat? I could sleep all day...”
Temari laughed, “I refuse to have you be more lazy than you already are. How about a stag? That way you can keep up with me and we can still wander the forest together.”
He smiled as he leaned closer with every intent to kiss her again and again, “Such a drag, but sure.”