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She didn’t even know it was important to her until suddenly she knew, watching from a distance as the cute little blonde girl eyed her dress in awe.
She had never been that girl, the one who dreams about her wedding day and plans all the little details before they even had a man. She hadn’t twirled around in her mother’s wedding gown or clomped around in the white pumps her mother had worn. Honestly, she never thought she would get married. She had never been able to hold down a steady boyfriend, too strong willed and fiercely independent. Her mother called her spirited and her father said she was abrasive. Her brother had simply scoffed and called it as it was.
“Johanna, you’re a fucking psycho. If you do end up finding a guy, it’ll be a miracle.”
Of course, she hadn’t been looking when it did happen and it had happened so smoothly that she hadn’t even realized what had happened until she was suddenly in his apartment accidently teaching his young impressionable daughter different curses.
They had met at a bar, Finnick’s birthday. She and Finnick had been friends since they were kids and Peeta was Finnick’s new BFF at work, both firefighters. She fell in with him easily from day one, exchanging numbers and then suddenly becoming nearly inseparable. Peeta was this tall, charming Swedish fellow with brightest blue eyes she had ever seen and he could always manage to get a smile on her face. They had started as good friends and then somehow they had just very naturally progressed. She was introduced to his daughter, a six-year-old named Malin from the only real serious relationship he ever had before Johanna, and the little girl took to her just as easily as Johanna had taken to her father.
They were “together” for a year before he asked her to marry him, to which she had scoffed and punched him. It took her a week to realize he had been serious and then about another two weeks before she was finally able to muster up an answer. She clutched Malin in her lap, sharing a piece of some Swedish dessert that Peeta had tried to teach her how to say a million times before but somehow the name just never stuck. She knew it was a poor attempt to distract and guard herself as she was never one to be able to freely show her emotions. She knew it was sort of pathetic to use a six year old as a shield but in that moment she felt weak enough to warrant needing a shield.
“So is there a ring or something I should be wearing?” she said once Peeta had his back to her while he moved around the small kitchen area of his apartment, or rather theirs since she had been unofficially living there too for months
He had froze, turning slowly to look at her with a suspicious look on his face, his expression guarded because she knew he didn’t want to show the hope lingering behind his cool exterior.
“What?” he asked simply and she looked away, focusing on the fluffy texture of the dessert while she forked a small bit into Malin’s mouth. The little girl giggled and swooned over the taste, the recipe a family tradition that the little girl only got to have a few times a year.
“I mean, if we are going to do this thing I should get a ring out of it, right? Makes it official, or something,” she said in her best attempt at nonchalance while her heart thrummed and she nearly felt like bursting at the seams. The whole thing was a step too close to her mostly hidden feelings than she was truly comfortable with.
Peeta stared at her for a long moment before he laughed and came forward, bending down to kiss her passionately. Johanna couldn’t help it she melted into the kiss despite herself. Peeta was the one to pull away first, giving her that bright smile he always got when he was too happy and excited about something. He promised her a ring soon, one she could pick out herself. She appreciated that but promised that it was going to be expensive. He was okay with that.
Her parents were ecstatic about the news, admitting that they never thought it would happen and her mother immediately launched into wedding planning. Her brother seemed equally as dubiously, shaking his head and wishing Peeta good luck, which earned him a punch from Johanna. Peeta’s dad seemed just as excited, promising to cater the whole thing himself and wanting to be involved in the planning as much as he could from Sweden. His mother had only calmly asked that they let her know the date as soon as possible, she was very busy after all and it would be a shame if she couldn’t come. She also requested that the wedding not be in Sweden, suggesting England instead where she had been living since Peeta was young when his parents had divorced. Peeta assured her that it would be in the US, to which she had only scoffed but agreed since it wasn’t Sweden.
Johanna let her mother plan the wedding, only reining her in once or twice when the whole thing got bigger than the small, private wedding she had been promised. Only close friends and family were invited. Honestly, Johanna hadn’t cared much about the whole thing; she only wanted to be married and be with Peeta. The wedding itself wasn’t something she cared for, finding it more of a hassle than it was truly worth.
But then her mother was crying while the make up artist dusted her face with a light layer of makeup. Johanna rolled her eyes at her mother’s tears, finding her exuberance to be exhausting, over the top, and quite frankly annoying. She was sort of over the whole thing and she hadn’t even walked down the aisle yet. She just didn’t get the wedding thing, because the wedding itself wasn’t important, it was about her and Peeta, not some showy event to showcase them.
But then she happened to glance towards the window, contemplating running and just grabbing Peeta on her way out so they could elope, and she spotted Malin. The little girl, all decked out in some fluffy dress her mother had picked out, was standing in front of her hanging dress and staring up at it with a wonder in her eyes that Johanna didn’t know she had ever felt. She stared at her soon to be stepdaughter for a long moment and something clicked inside of her.
So maybe she wasn’t the stereotypical girl who had dreamed about her wedding since she was Malin’s age. So maybe the whole thing seemed sort of silly to her. Even with the negative connotation the wedding had for her in the past couple months, Johanna was finally seeing the value in it. Because she could see that Malin would be one of those girls and this whole thing was the starting point of the new life they would all share together. It wasn’t about showcasing them, but rather making a pledge to be with one another through thick and thin, about creating memories, and actively taking the first steps into the new stage of their lives.
Johanna pushed the makeup artist and her mother away, stepping over to Malin who grinned up at her gleefully. Johanna hoisted the girl up onto her hip and together they stared at the dress for a moment, simply taking in the moment.
“Come on, Little Bit, let’s hurry up so I can get hitched,” she told the girl, feeling an excitement to walk down the aisle for what she was sure was the first time.
“Yeah,” Malin happily agreed.
And then it was perfect, as Johanna was all dolled up and looking as classy as her own personal style would allow. Malin walked ahead of her down the aisle, tossing flower petals with perhaps a bit too much enthusiasm than was strictly warranted. Her father held her arm and walked her down the aisle at a calm pace and was trying to swallow down his own tears, which Johanna would have found irritating if she hadn’t been so excited.
Her eyes met Peeta’s at the end of the aisle and she couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face despite herself. His blonde hair was neatly parted and smoothed back while his too bright blue eyes shined with true delight. He had that smile on his face, that same too happy and excited smile he had when she finally accepted his proposal.
It was perfect. He was perfect. And she finally understood.