Chapter Text
“Get them to evacuate, single file to the shuttle and then uaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah”
Vega looks at her absolutely bewildered and Shepard stops speaking herself, blinking slightly bewildered by the sound that just came out of her.
“Did you just...did you just yawn?”
“Yeah, I think I did”, Shepard scrunches up her face “I am not getting a lot of sleep these days. And it’s not...not what you think. I’m just stressed.”
“Poor Garrus”, James laughs.
“Poor ME! Once we are done shooting these Cerberus bastards and the civilians are out of here I need a fucking coffee. But seriously James, I’m good. It’s just a yawn.”
They continue the evacuation, but Shepard can start to feel the effect of her tiredness more and more every second. She has been keeping herself awake with a lot of coffee these days, but she didn’t get one this morning leaving her tired and on some serious caffeine withdrawal. She keeps yawning, her hands are shaking and her vision is blurring. The civilians don’t seem to notice but James shoots her worried looks every now and then.
Once they are finally on their own shuttle she practically collapses in the corner. Cortez asks her if she’s injured but she shakes her head. “Just tired”
James walks in, gives her a look and starts punching something into his omnitool.
“What are you doing?”, Shepard asks
“Calling your boyfriend”, the omnitool chimes and Garrus voice starts sounding out of it.
“Vega? Why are you calling me? Is Shepard injured?”
Shepard grins and James rolls his eyes “No she’s good. Except for the part where she looks like she is about to fall asleep. In your assessment, how healthy is her lifestyle?”
Garrus seems to hesitate “Can she hear me right now?”
“Yes she can”, Shepard answers herself “And I will have both of you know that I am still your commanding officer.”
“Oh I am aware”, Garrus replies “Also, you are living life on the edge and I am this close to dragging you into the medbay myself.”
“Thanks Scars.”, Vega disconnects then turns to look at her. “Not just a yawn, but a pattern of unhealthy behaviour apparently.”
Shepard sighs and throws her arms in the air. “What do you want me to say, James? I am trying to win a war here. Yes, I am not living a perfectly healthy lifestyle. None of us are.”
“Yeah, but you need to make some changes before it gets to a point where it impacts your abilities. Just like…”, he gesticulates “Next time you’re on the Citadel, do something nice. Go on a date with Scars or something and then fix your sleep schedule.”
She raises an eyebrow. “You make it sound so easy”
James shrugs.
-
Shepard is pretty sure the whole crew is conspiring against her. Not only Garrus and James, but also Liara and Tali keep telling her to sleep more. One morning Kaidan is standing by the coffee machine and when he sees the amount of Espresso shots she’s adding to her drink he biotically lifts the cup out of her hand and gives her a lecture on the health risks of caffeine consumption. Unprompted E-Mails from Doctor Chakwas about how adjust her sleep schedule and diet keep showing up in her inbox. EDI is in on it too. She stops waking Shepard up, instead delegating tasks to Garrus or Liara and only telling Shepard when she wakes up by herself.
“I tried to wake you but you were fast asleep.”
Shepard lifts an eyebrow. “Do you have a lying filter I can turn on or off?”
“If I had one I would be able to lie about it.”
“Okay, you are all clearly conspiring against me.”
“Lack of sleep seems to be making you paranoid. Might I suggest adapting your schedule.”
-
It works, eventually. Shepard sleeps more and drinks less coffee. Even as the war becomes worse and worse she learns to rely more on her friends instead. Garrus notices, of course.
“You’re getting better.”
“Yeah, I guess”, she smiles “All of you slowly manipulated me into a healthier lifestyle.”
He softly kisses the top of her head. “That’s what were here for. Helping you.”
Shepard smiles up at him and not for the first and certainly not for the last time wonders what she did to deserve all of them.