Work Text:
Zhao Yunlan cracked an eye open at the stifled giggles that came from the corner of the room, where Da Qing and Zhu Hong were doing something clearly not work-related. Da Qing was bent over Zhu Hong’s desk and pointed to some papers he’d placed down in front of her, barely able to contain his laughter. Zhao Yunlan saw Zhu Hong’s eyes widen from his own desk, where he’d been so rudely startled out of a well-deserved 9AM nap.
“Holy shit,” he heard her say and then she was chuckling as well, taking out her phone and snapping a picture of whatever immensely interesting thing Da Qing had presented to her.
“You should show this to Lin Jing. Didn’t his bonus get reduced the last four months? He definitely needs the money,” she grinned.
“Whoever posted this is at least over 60. Who the hell uses newspapers for this kind of thing? They didn’t even give a name!” Da Qing was now shaking with supressed laughter.
“I hope whatever has gripped your attention there is either a new case or something related to an old case,” Zhao Yunlan said loudly, and two heads immediately snapped around to him. Zhu Hong, at least, had the decency to look mildly ashamed. Da Qing’s smile, however, took on very dangerous proportions.
“Lao Zhao,” he said and snatched the newspaper back from Zhu Hong’s table. “Zhao Yunlan,” he sauntered over. “Chief Zhao,” he came to a halt in front of Zhao Yunlan’s desk, who grew very suspicious and slightly afraid of Da Qing’s expression.
“You’re a detective,” Da Qing stated.
“Astute observation, Deputy. You should consider asking your boss for a raise. Oh wait,” Zhao Yunlan narrowed his eyes at him, but Da Qing ignored that. Instead, he slapped the newspaper down in front of Zhao Yunlan.
“Well, then I’ve got a new case for you.”
Zhao Yunlan narrowed his eyes a bit further, just for good measure. Da Qing’s “cases” never meant anything good. Or serious, for that matter. He took a deep breath, braced himself, and risked a glance at what Da Qing had marked on the paper. Expectantly, it was a personal ad. Those were the only reason Da Qing refused to let Zhao Yunlan cancel their newspaper subscription, even though this was the 21st century and newspapers were something only old people and wannabe intellectuals read. Which was why Da Qing found so much joy in reading the personal ad section. “It’s like reading ironic posts on the internet, only this is real,” he said. And, even though he would never admit it to Da Qing, Zhao Yunlan enjoyed reading the ads just as much. They made him feel slightly better about his own disaster of a life. But this one was extreme, even by personal ad standards.
Greetings. I am not looking for any kind of relationship. I am simply in need of someone willing to pretend to be my boyfriend at a workplace celebration to stop co-workers from enquiring about my lack of personal life. It would be convenient if you were a police officer or detective, as I might have eluded to being engaged in a relationship with someone like that. Pay will be generous. Please call for further details.
Zhao Yunlan raised an eyebrow. And then a second one.
“Holy shit,” he said.
“Right?” Da Qing grinned so widely that Zhao Yunlan wondered if it didn’t hurt his face. “I bet this lady is a 65-year-old estate agent trying to make a good impression before retiring,” Da Qing announced, full of confidence.
“Bullshit,” said Zhao Yunlan, who already had a perfect image of the requestor in mind. “It’s clearly a teacher in her forties who’s perfectly happy without the burden of a relationship, but tired of her colleagues telling her to get a partner.”
Zhu Hong scoffed over her bag of beef jerky. “You’re both idiots. This is so clearly written by a man that it could literally not be more obvious. I’d say he’s in academia.”
Zhao Yunlan and Da Qing shot her incredulous looks.
“What? I’m right,” Zhu Hong shrugged, shoving another piece of dried meat into her mouth.
“Only one way to find out,” Da Qing hopped onto Zhao Yunlan’s desk and looked at him expectantly.
“Out of the question.”
“You don’t even have to agree to it! Just call the number and ask about details or whatever,” Da Qing said in his most whiny tone.
“Why don’t you do it then, if you’re so curious?”
“Because I’m very innocent and not yet tainted by this profligate world?”
Zhu Hong snorted and stood up to stride over to them, pulling out her wallet in the process.
“100 yuan,” she announced and slammed a note down in front of Zhao Yunlan. “That it’s a male academic.”
Da Qing eagerly rifled through the pockets of his dumb overall. “85 yuan and this pack of dried fish that it’s a female estate agent!”
They stared at Zhao Yunlan.
He could be the bigger person here. Show that he’s a responsible adult who’s above ridiculous bets such as this. Or he could show them that he’s right.
“Whatever, alright. 100 yuan on female teacher.”
He reached for his phone and dialled the number (landline, really?).
“I hate you,” he let his colleagues know before someone picked up on the other end.
“Hello?” asked a smooth and deep voice that was very clearly not that of a forty-year-old female teacher.
Zhao Yunlan groaned and rolled his eyes at Zhu Hong. He didn’t know that someone could eat beef jerky smugly, but that’s exactly what Zhu Hong did.
“Hello?” the voice repeated.
Zhao Yunlan should hang up now. He had what he called for and there was no need to make any further conversation.
“Yes, this is Chief Zhao Yunlan from the Guardian Detective Agency,” his stupid mouth announced without his permission.
“Oh,” the voice on the other end breathed and for a moment it was quiet. Then, “Is this about the inquiry in the newspaper?”
Hang up! Zhao Yunlan’s inner voice of reason yelled at him.
“Yes, exactly,” Zhao Yunlan’s monkey-brain made him say. “I wanted to ask about the details.”
“First of all, thank you very much for calling. I would not have expected to receive an answer, much less a serious one. But if you truly would be willing to aid me in this, then I would be most grateful. And compensate you appropriately, of course.”
For someone who had placed a personal ad about looking for a fake-boyfriend to introduce to his colleagues, this man’s voice was way too attractive.
“I mean, helping people in need is my job, Mr…” Zhao Yunlan said, his brain to mouth filter now completely giving up. Da Qing gaped at him and Zhu Hong almost choked on her beef jerky.
“Oh, my apologies. My last name is Shen, my name is Shen Wei,” the man said hurriedly.
“Shen Wei,” Zhao Yunlan repeated and saw Zhu Hong immediately return to her desk to type something into her computer.
“Yes, uhm…would you be willing to discuss the details in person? It might be a bit easier than over the phone.”
Zhao Yunlan imagined a faceless man sitting in a wingchair next to a small table with a corded telephone. “Sure,” he said and wondered how it all could have gone downhill so fast.
“Great. Again, thank you so much,” Shen Wei sounded so honestly grateful that a bit of Zhao Yunlan’s horror at his own stupidity evaporated. They agreed on meeting in the afternoon, in a small café Shen Wei suggested. It was near the university campus, which Zhao Yunlan would definitely not tell Zhu Hong.
“Alright,” Zhao Yunlan said, already having resigned himself to the fact that he was apparently going to be a fake boyfriend. Well, at least there would be money. “Anything to recognise you by, Shen Wei?”
“Oh, I’m afraid I’m not a very striking person. I’m wearing a blue suit and glasses, if that helps?”
“That’s plenty. I’m a detective after all,” Zhao Yunlan said and could already tell that he was not quite what Shen Wei hoped for. Unless, of course, he was really that desperate.
“You didn’t just agree to be someone’s fake boyfriend, did you?” Da Qing asked greedily as soon as Zhao Yunlan hung up. Zhao Yunlan rolled his eyes. Zhu Hong sauntered over to them again and Zhao Yunlan was surprised that her wide smile didn’t expose any fangs. She reached for the money that still lay on Zhao Yunlan’s desk.
“Shen Wei, 32 years old, professor of literature at DCU, unfortunately no picture. Thanks for paying for my lunch.”
“This is the worst day of the week,” Zhao Yunlan muttered and covered his face with the newspaper.
“Oh, and would you look at that,” Zhu Hong lifted it up and pointed at the date in the corner. “It’s only Monday!”
Zhao Yunlan thought about reducing her bonus, but that would just make him look petty and her even more smug.
-
At 4:41 in the afternoon, only eleven minutes too late, Zhao Yunlan arrived at the café where he’d agreed to meet Shen Wei. Da Qing had all but begged to accompany him, but Zhao Yunlan had quickly found some old cases for him to file. His dignity had suffered enough for one day, thank you very much.
The interior of the quaint little café was crowded, but most of the patrons seemed to be students who either enjoyed some free time with their friends or frantically typed something into their laptops. Zhao Yunlan scanned the room for round glasses and a blue suit.
He soon spotted a man sitting alone in a corner, but there was no way that was Zhao Yunlan’s guy. “Not a very striking person” was about as fitting a description as calling the ocean a “small pond” or the sun “a little bright”. No, this man was drop-dead beautiful by the very definition of the word. Zhao Yunlan had never seen hair that begged to be messed up as much as that of this man. Nor had he ever seen a face so perfectly composed that it might as well have been a painting. The man chose this moment to look up and meet Zhao Yunlan’s gaze across the room. They stared at each other for a moment before realisation dawned on the man’s face. He hurriedly stood and gestured for Zhao Yunlan to come over.
Well.
Zhao Yunlan made his way to the corner, dodging a waitress and a boy with a stack of books in his arms who looked like he was only seconds away from a breakdown.
“Uhm…Chief Zhao?” the man asked and Zhao Yunlan immediately recognised that smooth voice from the earlier phone call. Zhao Yunlan was, as they said, fucked.
“Yes,” he said jovially because there were fates worse than fake-dating the most beautiful man that had ever graced Zhao Yunlan’s eyes. Only that Shen Wei was probably not very keen on that arrangement anymore, especially since Zhao Yunlan had opted to appear in his most worn-out leather jacket and torn jeans.
“Thank you so much for agreeing to meet,” Shen Wei said nevertheless and offered his hand. Zhao Yunlan shook it, feeling the smooth skin of someone who was clearly a scholar.
“No worries, I’m happy to help,” Zhao Yunlan smiled and shut his mouth just in time to prevent the especially if the client is such a beauty-addition from escaping.
Shen Wei gestured to a chair and waited until Zhao Yunlan had sat down before seating himself. Damn, a gentleman. This was bad.
“I feel like I need to apologise,” Shen Wei started and Zhao Yunlan knew what was coming, because surely now Shen Wei would tell him that Zhao Yunlan was not the right person for the task after all. “My request was beyond ridiculous and I am embarrassed to have placed it in the first place. I would definitely understand if you refused.”
Zhao Yunlan stared at him. As if he would refuse this painting of a man anything. “Why did you place it then?” he asked.
“Well…” Shen Wei blushed and ducked his head in the most endearing way Zhao Yunlan had ever seen someone duck their head. “One of my colleagues offered to set me up with one of her acquaintances for this year’s end of the semester celebration and I…I might have told her I was already taken.”
Zhao Yunlan couldn’t help but grin. “And you told her your boyfriend was a police officer? That’s oddly specific.”
“It was a panic reaction. I do not know why my colleagues seem so interested in my private life,” Shen Wei said almost defiantly, as if your co-workers caring about you was something outrageous.
“And you think that seeing you with someone will make them stop nagging?” Zhao Yunlan asked and hoped his wide grin didn’t look mocking.
Shen Wei sighed. “I don’t know what else will.”
“Have you tried, I don’t know, telling them that you don’t want to see anyone right now?”
At that, Shen Wei looked even more outraged, like the concept of proper communication was entirely foreign to him. Zhao Yunlan raised his hands in defeat.
“Hey, I’m certainly not one to judge. And I already said that I’d help you. So. What are the details?”
Shen Wei stared at him wide-eyed and Zhao Yunlan wondered if he’d said something wrong. Did Shen Wei want his help or did he not? After all, he’d already made it clear that straight-forward communication was not his thing.
“I…really? You would help, just like that? I mean,” he added quickly and waved a hand. “I will still pay you, of course. I hope a thousand yuan for the evening will suffice? Otherwise that is certainly negotiable.”
Zhao Yunlan’s mouth hung open. Considering he’d play Shen Wei’s date for free, a thousand yuan sounded crazy. Almost like too much to accept. Almost.
“That…oh boy. That will certainly suffice. Shen Wei, you don’t need to pay me that much.”
“You say that now. Just wait until the evening is done, you will demand double by then.”
Well. Apparently, Shen Wei was capable of something like sarcasm. Zhao Yunlan liked that in a man.
Shen Wei cleared his throat. “Ah, yes. The details. Well, the celebration in question is, as I said, an end of the semester party for the university staff. It is fairly standard, I think.” (He thought. Well, Zhao Yunlan thought that Shen Wei probably didn’t have much experience when it came to parties. He should invite him to one of Lin Jing’s.) “There will be some food and some socialising. And,” Shen Wei cleared his throat again and a hint of colour rose into his cheeks. “Dancing. But that is not mandatory and I certainly do not intend to–“
“Can you dance, Shen Wei?” Zhao Yunlan asked and couldn’t quite get all of the suggestiveness out of his tone. If Shen Wei had noticed that, he didn’t show it.
“I…I took classes, once. But I’m certain that I’ve already forgotten most of it.”
Zhao Yunlan grinned. That could be worked out. He was a detective, after all.
“So, what about the boyfriend-stuff?” Zhao Yunlan asked. He knew how parties worked. He also knew how one-night stands worked. Relationships, not so much.
“Boyfriend-stuff?” Shen Wei asked, eyes almost comically wide behind his round glasses.
“Yeah. You know. Should I hug you, hold your hand, kiss your cheek. Things that make us look like a proper couple. You wouldn’t want your co-workers seeing behind the act, right?” Yes, that was definitely Zhao Yunlan’s sole motive here. The believability of it all. And if he got to be a bit touchy with Shen Wei in the process, then well. That was fine, too.
“I would never ask you anything you are uncomfortable with!” Shen Wei said quickly and the redness in his face intensified. “I, uh…I think hand-holding and hugging would be appropriate? I must admit, I’m no expert in this field, so I’m open to suggestions.”
“Okay, then let me phrase it like this: Anything I should absolutely not do?” Zhao Yunlan asked because despite Shen Wei being the very definition of his type, Zhao Yunlan definitely didn’t want to make him uncomfortable either.
“Please refrain from inappropriate touches,” Shen Wei said immediately and without any hint of his previous shyness. Zhao Yunlan wondered if he’d had any bad experiences with this.
“Of course,” he nodded. “Anything else?”
Shen Wei sighed. “Nothing I can think of right now. I trust you to judge the situation appropriately. Are you…are you really sure you want to do this? I really would not hold it against you if you didn’t. Your consideration alone is very much appreciated.”
“Aiya, Shen Wei. It’s fine, really. It’s my honour to help the esteemed professor. And it’s quite refreshing to have a case that is not related to crime. Unless you’re secretly a psychopath?”
The change of expression on Shen Wei’s face was the most wonderful thing Zhao Yunlan had been graced with today. Surprise slowly made way to amusement as a small smile tugged at the corners of Shen Wei’s lips. He ducked his head and huffed a quiet laugh.
“Even if I were, you look like you can handle yourself.”
“Oh, I’m an expert at handling myself. Although I’m also not opposed to others handling me,” Zhao Yunlan’s mouth said, yet again reminding him to get his filter fixed. Too late now. Shen Wei’s head snapped up and he stared at Zhao Yunlan with something between shock and…well. Was that heat? A man could hope.
“Alright,” Shen Wei said with the calmness of someone who had to deal with immature students on a daily basis. “Then I can only thank you again for your help. It really means a lot and I will make sure to make the evening as bearable as possible.”
Oh, there were thousands of things Zhao Yunlan could reply to that, but for a change he didn’t feel like pushing his luck. Too much was at stake here.
“I’m already looking forward to it. Ah, before I forget, is there a dress code?”
Shen Wei’s eyes briefly flickered over Zhao Yunlan’s old leather jacket, but there was no judgement in them.
“Not at all. It is all very casual. Do not feel the need to dress up.”
“That is a very brave thing of you to say, Shen Wei. Alright, I’ll find my least worn things then. Do you have a phone, so I can text you in case I have any further questions?”
Zhao Yunlan was asking only for that purpose, and not so he could send Shen Wei random good-morning-messages.
“I…do not possess a mobile phone. I am afraid you will have to call me in case you need anything. But I can give you my private number,” Shen Wei reached for his bag and pulled out a piece of paper and a fountainpen. Zhao Yunlan was somewhat surprised that it wasn’t a quill and ink. Shen Wei’s writing looked like something out of a calligraphy book, even though these were only numbers.
“I wrote down the date of the party as well. It is in three days, on Friday, and starts at seven in the evening. I hope you are free at that time?”
“Definitely. And if I weren’t, I’d cancel all my plans for you,” Zhao Yunlan said and almost managed to say it without a suggestive smirk. Talk about not pushing his luck. He quickly tried to change the topic because Shen Wei’s ears were getting red again.
“Anything else I should know? Your favourite colour, pet-peeves, story of our meet-cute?”
“Well, I must admit that I have not yet thought about a story and – do you not need to take that?”
Zhao Yunlan’s phone had begun ringing and his attempts to will it into silence failed miserably. He sighed. “I’m sorry about that. Yeah?”
“Chief? There is a new case,” Da Qing’s voice came from the other end of the line.
“What, now?”
“Yes! I know, right, how rude of Longcheng’s underground to not be considerate of your dating plans!”
“Can’t you grab Zhu Hong and take care of it yourself?”
“Chief. Someone is missing their daughter. Get over here or I swear, I’ll grab Zhu Hong and quit!”
Zhao Yunlan knew that Da Qing would never do that, but he also knew that missing person reports were always serious. “I’ll be right there.”
“Is it work? I am sorry to have kept you,” Shen Wei said, so apologetically as if he had abducted Zhao Yunlan and forced him to spend his afternoon in the café.
“No, I’m sorry. And just when we were getting to the good part. I’ll make sure to call you as soon as I have the time, and then we can think of a solid backstory together!” Zhao Yunlan said and stood.
Shen Wei smiled. “I am looking forward to it. Good luck with your case.”
-
Zhao Yunlan hated prepubescent teenagers. He despised them. The missing person turned out to be a runaway girl from a rich family who felt like her parents “took away her freedom” by not allowing her to host a party in the house. She then led the whole Guardian Detective Agency on a wild goose chase for two whole days before they finally found her hiding in the furniture department of a mall. The whole thing had been blown so far out of proportions that Zhao Yunlan was not only sleep-deprived but had also had no opportunity to call Shen Wei. Which meant that he would appear at the celebration as the boyfriend of someone he knew absolutely nothing about. He just hoped Shen Wei wasn’t mad at him. Or had found someone else because of Zhao Yunlan’s complete incompetence. But by the time those worries had taken over it was already Friday and too late to back out.
“Why didn’t you call him this morning?” Da Qing asked, sitting behind his desk and pretending to do paperwork while making an origami cat.
“Because,” said Zhao Yunlan and left it at that.
Zhu Hong rolled her eyes, but Lin Jing looked up from his computer (Zhao Yunlan knew exactly he was playing video games, but for once he had no headspace to conduct a lecture on productivity). “Playing hard to get is useless in this case, Chief Zhao. You’re just pretending anyway.”
“Thanks, Lin Jing. Your input is, as always, greatly appreciated,” Zhao Yunlan deadpanned and checked his hair in the black screen in front of him.
“Nothing to salvage there,” Zhu Hong said without looking up. “But I see you’re wearing your least torn jeans. And your shoes are even tied. This guy must really be a catch.”
“He is,” Zhao Yunlan confirmed and ignored her needling. “And that’s why I’m gonna be on my way now.”
“You sure?” Da Qing called after him. “You might be on time if you’re not careful!”
-
Zhao Yunlan was not on time. He’d taken a wrong turn on his way to the university and then his brain blacked out and he needed ten minutes to find his way through Longcheng’s back alleys until he managed to find the right way again. Shen Wei would definitely be mad. Or even worse, disappointed.
Zhao Yunlan arrived on the parking lot with screeching tires and barely put on the hand brake before jumping out of the car. Judging by the number of people still in front of the building, his delay wasn’t too bad. He looked around frantically to find Shen Wei. Zhao Yunlan had vowed to be on his perfect fake-boyfriend-behaviour tonight, in hopes to maybe be able to omit the “fake” in the future.
And then he finally spotted Shen Wei. He was stood in front of the large building and looked like he was ready to face oblivion. Zhao Yunlan felt guilt as strong as he never had before. So much for “perfect”, but he could still save this.
“Shen Wei!” he called out and waved wildly at Shen Wei, whose eyes immediately found Zhao Yunlan’s. The relief that spread over his whole face was almost palpable and Zhao Yunlan could see him let out a shaky breath. Zhao Yunlan approached quickly and with a wide smile, and as soon as he reached Shen Wei he pulled him into a hug. He felt Shen Wei stiffen in his arms and briefly wondered if this was too much after all, but then Shen Wei’s stance softened and his arms came around Zhao Yunlan’s back. Yes, this was definitely something Zhao Yunlan could get used to. He gave Shen Wei one last squeeze before pulling back and smiling at him without having to fake the adoration in his eyes.
“I’m so sorry about…well, everything really. The past days have been hell and I –“
“Chief Zhao.”
“Huh?”
“It’s okay. I’m glad you’re here now. Thank you.”
It was only an act, Zhao Yunlan reminded himself. This reverent tone was just feigned. The way Shen Wei gazed at him from behind his glasses was not real.
“Ah, I’m glad,” Zhao Yunlan said, a bit hoarsely. “Shall we go inside then, so you can finally introduce me to all your lovely professor-buddies?”
Shen Wei nodded and turned around to lead them inside, but Zhao Yunlan stopped him.
“Ah, my dear boyfriend, lend me a hand here!”
Shen Wei’s ducked his head and nodded briefly before reaching out to grasp Zhao Yunlan’s hand.
“No, Shen Wei, like this.” Zhao Yunlan laced their fingers together, marvelling at the softness of Shen Wei’s hands in his. What a fit. Shen Wei cleared his throat and turned his head away, but he couldn’t hide his blush from Zhao Yunlan’s vigilant detective-eyes.
“Is this okay?” Zhao Yunlan murmured as they entered the building.
Shen Wei nodded. “Is it for you as well?”
“Oh, definitely. And remember to call me Zhao Yunlan. ‘Chief Zhao’ is a bit formal. Or a bit kinky, depending on your angle.”
Shen Wei blushed furiously and inclined his head in a quick nod. “Alright. Zhao Yunlan.”
Zhao Yunlan could definitely get used to this.
The hall of the university was already filled with people, most of them sitting around various tables and engaged in lively conversation. Shen Wei glanced around briefly before spotting whatever he was looking for and making his way over to a table. The four people that were seated there already turned when one of them had spotted Shen Wei and waved. They all stood as Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan approached and Zhao Yunlan wondered if politeness was a job requirement for professors.
“You came after all,” a man said with a smile. “It’s not like you to be late, Professor Shen.”
“Well, that would be my fault. My deepest apologies,” Zhao Yunlan cut in before Shen Wei could make an apology for something he wasn’t remotely responsible for. “My tardiness is chronic.”
That earned him a few laughs from around the table and he was glad that he hadn’t deal with stuck-up academics for a whole evening.
“This is Chief Zhao Yunlan. My…” Shen Wei cleared his throat as if the next word was stuck there.
“His boyfriend,” Zhao Yunlan provided happily and shook everyone’s hands. “Shen Wei doesn’t like the word, he says it makes us sound like lovestruck teenagers.” He slung one arm around Shen Wei’s shoulder and grinned.
“Professor Shen is very meticulous when it comes to words and their connotation,” a young woman smiled. “I’m Li Qian, his former student assistant and now a teacher myself.”
“Great! I’m sure you’ll have some nice stories to share,” Zhao Yunlan grinned.
Other than Li Qian there were Professor Zhang, a very sour-looking expert on modern literature, Professor Yu, an old man who focussed on classics, and a man who looked as much of a teacher as Zhao Yunlan did and muttered something about “only being a substitute and not even belonging here.”
“Don’t listen to Chu Shuzhi,” Shen Wei said and pulled a chair back so Zhao Yunlan could take a seat. “He’s been a reliable member of the faculty for three years and helps us all out a lot.”
Shen Wei sat down next to Zhao Yunlan, who immediately scooted a bit closer with his chair.
“I’m happy to finally meet all of Shen Wei’s colleagues! I can’t believe it took this long, he’s already told me so much about you.”
“Oh?” said Professor Zhang and pulled up her eyebrow. “He has told us very little about you, Chief Zhao. For how long have you known each other?”
Right to the good parts, huh? But if there was one thing Zhao Yunlan was good at, it was improvising in difficult situations.
“Well, actually, we’ve known each other since childhood,” he said and heard Shen Wei choke on his water next to him.
“Childhood?” Li Qian gaped and leaned forwards ever so slightly.
“Indeed!” Zhao Yunlan grinned and covered Shen Wei’s hand, that was trembling slightly around the glass he was holding, with his own. “We’ve been best friends in school, but unfortunately my family moved away and it was only about two years ago that we met again. And well, all those feelings came rushing back immediately.”
“Oh dear!” Professor Yu clapped his hands. “Childhood-sweethearts, you don’t encounter that often these days. Back when I was younger, there was actually–“
“Yes, but,” Professor Zhang interrupted and looked almost incredulous. “Shen Wei, didn’t you tell us you were home-schooled?”
Ah. The ups and downs of improvisation. Zhao Yunlan glanced at Shen Wei from the corner of his eye, who had a pretty impressive poker face, even though his ears were burning red.
“Yes, I was. But for the last three years I attended a public school. It was there that we met,” he said and smiled as if fondly remembering something. He was good. Zhao Yunlan felt like stepping up his game.
“Shen Wei was always so reserved, it took me a while to crack his shell. And just as we finally became friends, I moved.” He sighed wistfully and nudged Shen Wei with his shoulder. “I was pretty devastated to have to leave my Xiao Wei behind.”
“Xiao Wei,” Chu Shuzhi echoed and stared at Zhao Yunlan like he had said something repulsive.
“I told you not to call me that,” Shen Wei muttered and Zhao Yunlan gulped. But when he looked at him, Shen Wei’s expression was one of amusement.
“Well, I’m happy for you two,” Li Qian smiled and raised her glass. “Now I feel bad that I tried to play matchmaker so often! I hope you can forgive me.”
“It really is unbelievable that Shen Wei hid his partner from us for two years. How come you’ve never accompanied him to any other official events?” Professor Zhang asked and Zhao Yunlan started to think that the world lost a detective in her.
“Well,” he drawled and took a sip of water, eyes scanning around the room for a fitting explanation. He found it two tables to their right, where a man took some medicine. “Until recently, I had a troublesome condition,” he said, assuming that tact and good manners would prevent her from prying further. He’d assumed correctly.
“Oh, then I am glad you’re better now,” she said and finally dropped the topic. They switched to academics after that and Zhao Yunlan was allowed some breathing time. He used it to observe Shen Wei, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about his current research project and how he used his hands to illustrate the words. It was mesmerising.
“Chief Zhao?”
Zhao Yunlan snapped out of his observations.
“Huh?”
“Hah, you truly are smitten, aren’t you?” Professor Yu said, eyes full of mirth.
Zhao Yunlan took the opportunity to scoot his chair right next to Shen Wei’s and lay an arm around his shoulder. Shen Wei stiffened briefly but relaxed eventually, leaning into Zhao Yunlan’s touch. Zhao Yunlan found it hard to remind himself that this was all just an act.
“What can I say. Still can’t believe my luck,” he grinned. “Did you say something before, Professor Yu?”
“I was just wondering about your occupation as a detective. We’ve been talking about all these dry literature topics, surely we are boring you.”
“Oh, not at all! In fact, I love listening to Shen Wei going on about his passion.”
“Do you, now?” Professor Zhang said and narrowed her eyes. Zhao Yunlan saw another stumbling block coming. “Which of his research projects do you find most interesting?”
Zhao Yunlan swallowed. He hadn’t listened at all before, too busy admiring his fake-boyfriend’s mouth to pay attention to the words that were coming out of it.
“No need to pretend. I know you don’t find literature all that interesting,” Shen Wei said softly next to him, and then he leaned over and pressed his lips to Zhao Yunlan’s cheeks in a brief kiss.
Zhao Yunlan’s head went blank. He turned his head and stared at Shen Wei, whose expression became briefly apologetic as he met Zhao Yunlan’s eyes. But then he turned to his colleagues again, looking perfectly normal.
“We don’t talk about work all that often. There are other things that connect us.”
Zhao Yunlan had to actively close his mouth. Shen Wei was a fantastic liar. Zhao Yunlan was glad he didn’t use that ability for evil.
“So you’re a detective, huh?” Chu Shuzhi asked, looking like he was glad the topic had strayed from the latest academic publications.
“Oh, right!” Li Qian chipped in. “You used to work in that field as well, right, Lao-Chu? Before you became a substitute teacher?”
“I was a Bodyguard,” Chu Shuzhi grumbled. “Not exactly the same thing.”
Zhao Yunlan scrambled for words, now hyperaware of Shen Wei who was still leaned against him, warm and comfortable.
“Bodyguard? For whom?”
“The nephew of some politician.”
“Little Guo Changcheng,” Professor Yu said and nodded. “He’s a good kid. Studies at this university as well.”
One glimpse at Chu Shuzhi’s uncomfortable gaze told Zhao Yunlan that his job as a bodyguard wasn’t quite over yet. Looked like Zhao Yunlan wasn’t the only one with a fake reason to sit at this table.
“Do you have any interesting cases you can tell us about, Chief Zhao?” Professor Yu asked and oh, this Zhao Yunlan had prepared for. Some of his past cases were perfect for occasions like this, so he told the story about how he once was tasked with finding the cat of some high-ranking triad member. It went all fairly well, and Zhao Yunlan had earned quite some laughs, until, well.
“And when I came home, Shen Wei told me the cat had hidden under our sofa for five hours.” It was a lie, but he thought that it had sounded pretty natural. Something, however, told him he’d said the wrong thing again.
It was, of course, Professor Zhang who pointed that out. “But Shen Wei lives here at university, does he not?”
“Oh…” Zhao Yunlan said dumbly and looked at Shen Wei, who gave him another apologetic look, as if Zhao Yunlan’s words were his fault. No, this wouldn’t do. He couldn’t have Shen Wei taking care of Zhao Yunlan’s mistakes all the time.
“Well, now the cat is out of the bag, Xiao Wei,” he said and pulled his arm from Shen Wei’s shoulder, who looked slightly alarmed, with his eyes wide and mouth open. It was very cute, but Zhao Yunlan didn’t want to torment him for too long. “I’ve been wanting to ask you for a while now. Would you like to move in with me? I’ve already been thinking of it as ‘our home’ anyway.”
Li Qian aww’ed in the background. Shen Wei’s eyes widened even more and he swallowed heavily.
“I…of course I would. Happily so.” He ducked his head and smiled at Zhao Yunlan from beneath his long lashes. Zhao Yunlan felt the wild urge to cross the small distance between them and press his lips to Shen Wei’s. Hell, a kiss would be the appropriate thing for a couple to do now. But they weren’t a couple, and Zhao Yunlan wasn’t sure if making out belonged to “inappropriate touches”. Then he found the perfect solution. He took Shen Wei’s hand and lifted it up to his mouth, pressing a brief kiss to the back of it. He heard Shen Wei suck in a sharp breath and smiled against the skin. This was shaping up to be the best evening of his life.
“Congratulations,” Li Qian smiled, and Professor Yu nodded along. “That calls for a toast!”
“Definitely!” Zhao Yunlan reached for the yet untouched bottle of wine on the table when he felt something nudge his thigh. He halted for a moment and glanced down, only to see Shen Wei’s hand. Either Shen Wei was making advances Zhao Yunlan would be all too happy to reciprocate, or he was trying to tell him something.
“Xiao Wei, I know you don’t drink, but you can toast with water,” Zhao Yunlan, certified detective, said easily and Shen Wei’s lips stretched into a warm smile.
“So not even you get him to drink, huh?” Chu Shuzhi said and emptied his glass even before anyone made a toast, only to refill it immediately.
“I gladly respect Shen Wei’s healthy life decisions. He even got me to quit smoking, and without his amazing cooking I’d still be living off take-away.” Zhao Yunlan said. He was pretty sure Shen Wei was an amazing cook.
“He definitely is an amazing cook,” Li Qian nodded and raised her glass. “And soon, you two can make food together!”
Just as they finished toasting to Shen Wei’s and Zhao Yunlan’s shared fake-future, some guy, who was probably the dean, stepped onto the stage and tapped the microphone. When he started talking about insignificant stuff Zhao Yunlan, yet again, used the time well by staring openly at Shen Wei. Why Shen Wei of all people would need a fake-boyfriend was a mystery to Zhao Yunlan – the man was the definition of textbook perfection, so there should be a line of people waiting to be Shen Wei’s partner. Not that Zhao Yunlan was complaining, after all Shen Wei’s apparent lack of a social life had led to this most glorious of all evenings. If only it wasn’t all built up on the word “pretend”. Zhao Yunlan would love to get to know Shen Wei. Maybe when all of this was over, then he could ask –
Applause interrupted his musings and he hastily clapped his hands. Soon after, music started playing and the empty space in front of the podium started to fill with people. It wasn’t like Zhao Yunlan was a good dancer – his only experience came from clubs, and he was sure that kind of dancing was not really welcome here – but he wouldn’t mind leading Shen Wei over the dancefloor while being pressed up against him. Oh well, Shen Wei had already said that he wasn’t interested in dancing.
Li Qian, however, had started scanning the room as soon as the music had started.
“Looking for a worthy partner?” Zhao Yunlan asked, and Li Qian beamed at him.
“Looking for my wife, actually. She’s a member of a different department, so I’ve been looking forward to the end of the formal part the whole evening.”
Zhao Yunlan grinned and gave her a thumbs-up, but he couldn’t quite ignore the little sting in his heart. There was Li Qian, young and happily married, and here was Zhao Yunlan, almost 30 and playing fake boyfriend for a man he’d love to get married to. Life was harsh. Li Qian waved at someone and excused herself, all but running over to a woman in a sharp suit. Zhao Yunlan sighed again.
“You look like you’d want to dance as well, Chief Zhao,” Professor Yu said merrily and took another sip of wine.
Zhao Yunlan laughed an awkward laugh that was very unlike himself and shook his head. “No, no, I wouldn’t want to force my Xiao Wei to do something he doesn’t like.”
Professor Zhang’s eyebrows shot up and Zhao Yunlan swallowed at the inquisition that was undoubtedly to follow.
“Ah, but isn’t Professor Shen a quite formidable dancer?” she asked and turned towards Shen Wei. “You took multiple courses, no?”
Zhao Yunlan wondered why Professor Zhang had made it her sole purpose this evening to torture him like this. He could understand why Shen Wei was reluctant to dance with him – it could be quite intimate after all.
“That he did,” Zhao Yunlan said, determined to rescue Shen Wei. “But he actually –“
“I would love to dance with you, Yunlan,” Shen Wei smiled, and there was a firm determination in his eyes. Zhao Yunlan’s vocal cords ceased to function. Or maybe it was his ability to form sentences. Shen Wei already made to stand and offered his hand to Zhao Yunlan, who wondered if this was one of his stranger dreams. He reached out nonetheless, and Shen Wei gripped his hand tightly, pulling him up and towards the dancefloor.
“Are you sure about this?” Zhao Yunlan asked quietly when he trusted his voice enough to not betray his emotions. “You don’t have to –“
“Oh, I know,” Shen Wei said and turned his head to smile at Zhao Yunlan. “But I want to. Unless, of course, you don’t?”
“Hey, you won’t hear any objections from me,” Zhao Yunlan grinned and wondered what he’d done to deserve such luck. Maybe he’d accumulated all those merits during those times he didn’t deduct his team’s bonuses, even though they’d clearly deserved it.
When they arrived on the dancefloor, the song had shifted towards something a bit slower and Zhao Yunlan mentally thanked DJ for this added blessing. Then he realised that he had absolutely no clue about what to do now. Luckily, Zhao Yunlan was the very definition of the word ‘shameless’ and so he reached out to put one hand on Shen Wei’s back.
Shen Wei smiled the gentlest of all smiles and faintly shook his head. He removed that hand to drape it on his shoulder instead, while putting his on Zhao Yunlan’s back. Zhao Yunlan’s other hand ended up in Shen Wei’s firm grasp and just like that Shen Wei started to move them.
“Just follow me,” Shen Wei said in a low voice and Zhao Yunlan found himself extremely turned on. Even though he had never danced a whatever-this-was before, Shen Wei’s knowledge was apparently sufficient for the both of them. Zhao Yunlan let himself be guided through the smooth motions and even though he stumbled every now and then, he didn’t think he’d ever been so graceful. Shen Wei’s hand was a reassuring presence at his back, its warmth seeping through Zhao Yunlan’s clothes and pooling low in his body. He was so close that Zhao Yunlan could smell the (undoubtedly expensive) cologne he used and it did things to Zhao Yunlan. Eventually, he somehow had to cope with all the excess want that had accumulated ever since Shen Wei had taken the initiative. And Zhao Yunlan had only one single method of coping.
“Shen Wei, you’re ruining me,” he said with a little whine.
Shen Wei’s looked abashed and Zhao Yunlan had trouble matching his endearing expression with his powerful movements.
“What do you mean? Do you want to stop?”
“Don’t you dare! No, I mean, this fake date is better than any real date I’ve ever had. My standards have reached a new high.”
Colour crept into Shen Wei’s cheeks and he opened his mouth as if to say something, but they were interrupted by the sudden end of the song. Shen Wei brought them to a halt with one final graceful step and opened his mouth again. Another interruption arrived with a middle-aged woman in a fancy dress who tapped Shen Wei’s shoulder. Zhao Yunlan tried and failed not to glare a bit.
“Professor Shen!” she said with a smile and gestured to him and Zhao Yunlan. “I didn’t know you danced!”
“Ah, good evening, Professor Ming. I don’t do it very often.”
“It looked like you’re quite the expert! How about a quick switch for this next one?”
Shen Wei looked alarmed with a hint of panic and Zhao Yunlan couldn’t have that. He stepped forward and all but draped himself over Shen Wei’s side. Shen Wei’s hand came up to curl around Zhao Yunlan’s waist – most likely to stop him from drooping, but it didn’t matter; it still felt good.
“Ah, I’m sorry, but I can’t lend my boyfriend to anyone, not so shortly after I’ve acquired him,” Zhao Yunlan said with his sweetest smile.
The woman chuckled. “Ah yes, young love. Well then, I won’t disturb you two any further.” She gave Shen Wei one final amused glance and vanished back into the crowd. Shen Wei’s face, at this point, had adopted the colour of Zhao Yunlan’s favourite strawberry-lollipops.
“Would you…like to get some fresh air?” Shen Wei asked, looking like he was in desperate need of it himself. Zhao Yunlan nodded – spending some time alone with Shen Wei, away from prying eyes? Yes, please.
It was only when they left the building and sat down on a bench next to some trees that Zhao Yunlan realised that there was no point in continuing their act with no audience around. He noticed with pleasant surprise that Shen Wei still sat a little closer to him than strictly necessary.
“I hope this evening is not too bothersome for you,” he said, not looking at Zhao Yunlan. “I know my colleagues can be very…inquisitive. They mean well though, please forgive them.”
“Aiya, Shen Wei! I already told you, didn’t I? I’m enjoying this a lot, especially because it’s you I’m pretending with.” Sure, Zhao Yunlan could stop flirting. Or he could enjoy Shen Wei’s cute blush for just a while longer. Shen Wei’s eyes were wide and disbelieving when they finally met Zhao Yunlan’s.
“You…you meant that?”
“Wh- of course! What makes you think I didn’t?”
“I’m not really what people would consider pleasant company, I know that.”
Zhao Yunlan glared at a spot somewhere behind Shen Wei, as if he could see whatever person had made Shen Wei feel this way. Then he focussed on Shen Wei again and, just because he could, he grabbed his hand.
“Shen Wei. There is no one around us now. There is no need for me to put on an act. So. I really do enjoy spending time with you.”
Shen Wei swallowed visibly and nodded, averting his eyes.
“Ah, ah, Shen Wei! Look at me. This evening – being your fake-boyfriend, being literally and figuratively swept off my feet by you – has been one of the most enjoyable ones in my life.”
Shen Wei looked at him, his gaze simultaneously hopeful and heated. Zhao Yunlan smirked.
“I don’t know who made you think that you’re unpleasant company, but they are clearly blind and deaf. And you probably haven’t danced with them. Maybe you should have, that would have taught them!”
Shen Wei smiled now, warm and open, and it lit up his entire face with a radiance that put the sun to shame. Zhao Yunlan clenched his fist, and since he was sill grasping Shen Wei’s hand, he squeezed it tightly.
“Thank you, Zhao Yunlan. I could not have hoped for better company as well. I didn’t think it possible, but I…I am enjoying myself as well. With you.”
Zhao Yunlan stared at him. His eyes slowly dropped away from Shen Wei’s, traveling over the slope of his nose and coming to rest on his lips, still slightly parted from those words.
“Shen Wei…” Zhao Yunlan said, unable to tear his eyes away from Shen Wei’s mouth. “I know you said you didn’t want any inappropriate touches, so…does a kiss count as – “
Apparently, it did not.
Shen Wei leaned forwards and touched his lips to Zhao Yunlan’s. It was an innocent kiss, a simple press of lips against lips, and it was somehow still better than everything Zhao Yunlan had experienced so far. When he felt Shen Wei smile against his mouth, he was sure his heart had grown at least three times its size.
Shen Wei pulled back and rewarded Zhao Yunlan with the sight of a smile that looked equal parts pleased and bashful.
“I–“
“If you apologise now, then I will get up and leave,” Zhao Yunlan said. He wouldn’t, but maybe the threat alone was enough.
“I wasn’t going to apologise.”
“Good. Because that was really nice.”
Shen Wei ducked his head and smiled. “It was.”
“What did you want to say?”
“I was just wondering if, well…if you would like to go out for tea? With me, I mean.”
“Shen Wei! Are you asking me on another fake-date as your fake-boyfriend?” Zhao Yunlan said with mock indignancy.
“Well, you did tell my colleagues we’d move in together,” Shen Wei observed.
“Yeah, I did – oh, damn,” Zhao Yunlan realised the repercussions of that lie only now. “I…I didn’t think that through.”
“But I actually was hoping we could omit the whole ‘fake’ thing.” Shen Wei said, blushing again.
Zhao Yunlan beamed at him. “Well, in that case. Yes, Shen Wei, I would love to go on a real date with you, as your real boyfriend.”
Judging from the way Shen Wei smiled, he was just as convinced as Zhao Yunlan that boyfriends was where this was eventually going to end up. And who knew how it progressed from there?
(Everyone does. It’s husbands.)