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He couldn’t believe anything that he was hearing. Oikawa felt as though his mind was going a million miles per hour. He couldn’t concentrate on anything going around him.
“W-what?” was all he could muster to say.
“You have a septic joint infection. It was most likely caused by your most recent surgery for your knee,” the doctor repeated to him.
“Can I still play volleyball?” Oikawa said automatically.
Volleyball was his whole world and he didn’t know if he could handle losing it forever. Even his break from it due to his previous surgery had seemed too much to bear at times and he had already nearly lost his scholarship because of it. Oikawa wasn’t ready to go back to that period of his life, much less be stuck in that hellish reality permanently.
The doctor looked at him with pity in his eyes. “Not unless you want your knee to get any worse than it already is.”
At that moment, Toru knew it would be permanent.
He would never play another game of volleyball again.
These past few years of him tirelessly working until he had to be forced to stop. All for nothing. Oikawa’s world fell apart. The wave of emotions that he felt was so great that he couldn’t even cry. Somehow, he eventually left the doctor’s room in a daze and found Hajime waiting for him in the doctor’s waiting room. With one look at the man, Toru finally broke. “I-Iwa-chan…” While snot and tears started running down his face.
Hajime immediately ran to his lover and hugged him, pulling Oikawa’s head into his chest. “Toru, what happened? How is your knee? Do they know what is wrong with it? Are you okay ?” he frantically said, concern in his eyes as he looked at his boyfriend wrapping his arms around him.
“No. No, I’m not. I can’t play anymore. I can’t play volleyball anymore. They said my knee has an infection or some shit. I don’t know, Hajime, and I don’t care,” he sobbed. “ I just want to play volleyball. What about my scholarship? We were supposed to go to Brazil for our next volleyball match too. What about that all now?” Oikawa didn’t care if he was having a meltdown in a waiting room in front of a bunch of people. He just didn’t want his world to fall apart. He didn’t want everything he had worked so hard for to be for nothing—all those countless practices leading up to this next big game would be for nothing.
And it wasn’t just that he couldn’t have fun at games anymore, because now his entire future was gone. He wouldn’t have enough money to get his degree without his volleyball scholarship.
Volleyball, in every sense of the word, was his life. And now, because of his stupid fucking knee, it was all gone, just like that.
Hajime felt totally and utterly useless. He couldn’t do anything to help his boyfriend.
“I’m so sorry, Toru. I can’t help you. I can’t fix this all for you, I can only be here for you.”
Toru looked at his boyfriend in his eyes and buried his head deeper into Hajime’s chest.
“That’s all I need right now. I can’t lose you along with everything else.”
“Okay, let’s go home. I’ll tell you where the secret stash of milk bread is and you can eat it all. We can talk about everything later. Let’s just have a night for the two of us.” Hajime says, giving his boyfriend a kiss on his head.
“Okay, Iwa-chan. That sounds nice.” Oikawa says, his words genuine despite everything.
He can’t help but think that he just might be okay with Hajime there with him