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Lynn whats the difference between a cucumber and a zucchini
Lynn where do they keep the bottled water
Lynn
Lynn
Lynn they sell teddy bears
The texts continued endlessly as Lynn scrolled down his phone. The angel could feel a vein threatening to burst through his head. Ever since Neil’s ill conceived attempt to contact his parents, Nick has been a constant, throbbing thorn in Lynn’s side. He really should have followed through with that goat roast barbecue, even if it did constitute cannibalism.
He should have known when Nick offered to buy their groceries for the week that he was going to find a way to mess up his day. Lynn had been planning to use the extra time to alphabetize his bible collection, but now he was going to lose even more hours sorting this out. Just as expected.
He arrived at the grocery store as quickly as he could while still obeying posted traffic signs. Breaking the law to untangle a demon-related dilemma just seemed a little ironic.
Lynn found Nick in the dried goods section, pulling his hair out over the pasta options. Nick flashed Lynn a relieved smile when he tapped the demon’s shoulder.
“Thank Satan you’re here,” Nick said. “You just wrote ‘pasta’ on the list. There’s like, a million kinds of pasta! What the hell’s a tagliatelle?”
“You could have just grabbed some spaghetti, Nick,” Lynn sighed, reaching up to swipe a box from the shelf.
“That said ‘linguine.’”
“Whatever, they’re long and noodly, right?”
“I think you offended like, the entire population of Italy,” Nick quipped. “Honestly though, I just wanted to make sure I got what you liked. Forgot you were basic as hell.”
Through the sarcasm, Lynn could detect a surprising smidge of sincerity. Seemed like Nick could be considerate when he wanted to, even though his concern dragged Lynn all the way out here. Lynn peered into the basket, letting out a loud exasperated sigh when he found barely a quarter of the shopping list inside.
“Nick, give me the list.”
At least Nick had the decency to look sheepish when he handed it over. Lynn noted Nick’s frazzled clothing, his loosened tie, the line of sweat across his forehead. The top two buttons of Nick’s shirt were unbuttoned.
Lynn shook his head, “How many times did you walk around the grocery store?”
“Ten times, I think? I lost track after I couldn’t find the canned mackerel.”
“I organized everything by section for a reason, Nick. How do you even live?”
Nick grinned and shrugged, “I order everything off the internet.”
“Alright, this won’t take long. Here, I brought a bottle of water.”
The demon took it gratefully, squeezing the contents into his mouth with reckless abandon. A few droplets fell onto his chin and bare collarbone. Lynn pushed down the urge to wipe them away, willing his hands to stay at his side.
“Are you done?” Lynn said, wrinkling his nose, “That was obscene.”
“Like what you see?” Nick winked, “Honestly, though, thanks. Demons run a little hot and this grocery store is stupid big.”
Lynn grunted, leading Nick through the store to round out the shopping list. The shopping trip went relatively smoothly, save for a humiliating innuendo Nick made when Lynn was explaining the difference between a zucchini and a cucumber to the demon. An entourage of elderly women bickering over green beans overheard and promptly fainted, earning Nick a smack on the head and Lynn a minor headache after his halo restored the damage.
They made it to the cash register, finally, and Lynn felt his body relax. He could go home soon, take some Aspirin, and polish all the windows in the apartment. That sounded nice. Maybe Lily could watch some TV while he polished. Chinese game shows were surprisingly amusing, even if the contestants exaggerated their reactions a little too much.
He was snapped out of his revelry by a sharp tugging on his sleeve.
“Lynn. Lynn. Can we get it?” Nick whined, pointing at a display case full of teddy bears.
Lynn glared, “How old are you, Nick?”
“Hey, it’s rude to ask! Please, Lynn? I’m asking nicely and everything.”
Lynn acquiesced before the headache from the halo cleanup morphed into a full migraine. He had a sense of self-preservation. Lynn barely nodded before Nick zipped off, plucking the biggest teddy bear out of the case, and was back by his side. He was bouncing on his heels, tail wagging faster than Damao’s when a squirrel appeared on nature documentaries.
“Thank you, Lynn!” Nick said happily.
Lynn shook his head. It was a little endearing, he had to admit, even if Nick was a grown man. “You’re welcome.”
Lynn please come over
I think i broke my washer
“What did you even put in here?” Lynn barked, pulling with all his strength at the sopping mass of cloth clogging up the washing machine. Nick grunted behind him, tugging at his piece of fabric as well. They both fell backwards, the mass of linen and cotton still wedged tightly in place.
“I don’t know Lynn! I literally don’t know, that’s why I asked you to come.”
Lynn resignedly took his halo off his head, sighing in defeat. Guess he’ll just have to deal with this the angelic way. Nick scrambled out of the room. With one swipe of his halo, the clot of cloth untangled and a tower of freshly laundered sheets and clothes dropped down to the floor. Lynn eyed the stack and sighed.
“Nick, I think you just overloaded the poor thing. Next time, you’re gonna have to split the load.”
The demon’s head poked through the door. A part of Lynn was disappointed that he didn’t get purified as well, but at least now he can go home and dust the bookshelves.
“Woah, thanks Lynn. Do you want to stay for tea?”
Well, it was hard to pass up tea. Lynn nodded, letting himself be led to the dining room and seated on a cushioned chair. Nick’s apartment was elegant, minimally furnished in an editorial sort of way, though it didn’t have the lived in feel of a normal home. Lynn figured it was because the demon spent so much time at 1031. Unnecessarily so.
“Here,” Nick said, setting down a tray of tea and condiments, “I hope you like black, because that’s really all I have.”
“That’s fine, I don’t mind,” Lynn said politely. He poured himself a cup of tea and watched in disgust as Nick dumped two spoonfuls of honey and a river of milk into his cup.
“Hey, isn’t this your first time at my place?” Nick asked.
“Yeah.”
“What do you think?”
Lynn paused, mulling over his thoughts before deciding to be honest, “Well, it’s nice. Pretty. But it doesn’t really feel like a home, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it,” Nick said quietly, “This place is less a home and more a place to sleep, I guess. It’s… lonely. Just sitting here.”
“So you spend all your time over at 1031 annoying me.”
Nick laughed, loud and boisterous, fangs glinting in the low yellow light. Lynn smiled into his teacup. This introspective Nick was something he’d never seen before, but Lynn wouldn’t be opposed to meeting again. Sitting here, chatting over a cup of tea, the two of them almost felt like functioning human adults.
“You’re welcome to tea at my place anytime,” Lynn blurted out.
“Really? You really mean it? No take backs?” There was a dangerous glint in Nick’s eye that made sweat pool at the small of Lynn’s back. But the words were out there, uttered without much thought behind them, and Lynn had to take responsibility for his promises.
“Yes, I mean it. Don’t make me regret it, Nick,” Lynn warned.
“No promises.”
Lord help him, Lynn was screwed.
Lynn please help me
Im stuck in a bathroom
Please
The pounding bass of the club reverberated through his body. His feathers raised, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up on end. The other patrons gave him weird glances, parting as if they were scared of an angel catching on to whatever illicit activity they were partaking in. Lynn made a beeline for the bathroom.
“Nick? Where are you?”
“In here,” his voice sounded from a stall, “I’m in here.”
“I’m coming in,” Lynn grunted, the bass still bouncing in his head. There better be a really good reason why the demon made him come to this den of debauchery.
“Yeah,” Nick replied.
Lynn stomped over, slamming the back of his hand against the door and pushing it open. Nick was sitting on the toilet, red faced, wearing a skimpy black dress he was trying his best to push over his crotch.
Lynn blinked twice, feeling the room grow uncomfortably hot. “What the actual fuck, Nick,” he barked. Lynn spotted a few wet wads of toilet paper on the ground and heard some sniffles, guilt suddenly flooding his system. Gentler, he asked, “Why are you dressed like that?”
“I saw a cute guy at the park after work. Didn’t wanna take my chances because… you know. So I transformed into Nico and hit him up. He invited me here and we had a pretty great time, but after a few drinks I started to lose control…”
He hung his head, refusing to meet Lynn’s eyes, “I would have bailed if I wasn’t wearing this. I don’t know, I think I just got too excited. It’s been… a long time.”
“I brought the change of clothes you asked for,” Lynn said gently.
“Thanks. I’ll keep my end of the deal. Laundry for a–”
“No, it’s okay. Let’s just get you home.”
Nick looked up, eyes wide and mouth agape. He wordlessly took the bag and closed the stall door. Lynn waited politely as Nick changed.
“You really do care about me,” Nick said as he washed his hands afterwards, a stupid grin wide on his face.
“It’s part of the job description. C’mon, let’s go.”
“Can’t we have a drink first?” Nick pouted.
“Isn’t that how you got into this mess in the first place?”
Lynn dragged Nick out of the club with only a few lost feathers on the way. The demon sulked and pouted on the way home, the bag with his little black dress slung over his shoulder.
“Nick.”
“What is it, Lynn?”
“Why did that bother you so much? Back there, I mean.”
Nick shifted as he walked, hands shoving into his pocket, “I had a bad experience. With the whole shapeshifting thing. Told myself I’d never do it again.” He chuckled, but the sound was sad and wet, “Funny how I can’t even keep my own word to myself. Classic demon, huh.”
“I think you looked fine,” Lynn said.
Nick stopped dead in his tracks. He looked at Lynn curiously, face contorted into a funny mix of surprise and puzzlement. Then a huge smirk broke out on Nick’s face that made Lynn regret many, many of his life choices.
“So that’s what you’re into? I didn’t peg you as that kind of person, angel.”
“Nick, shut up.”
“Unless you’re into that too? Pegging?”
“Nick. Shut. Up.”
Lynn come over i need your opinion on something
Lynn please this is important
Lynn idly tapped away at his phone as Nick rummaged through the closet. A haphazard heap of clothes took up most of the bed space, Lynn pushed to the far edge of the bed. Nick grabbed a jacket and some jeans, placing them over his body and appraising his reflection before throwing the clothes into the pile with a dissatisfied grunt. He continued his frantic rummaging.
“Nick, I’ve been sitting here for thirty minutes rolling gachas for Lily. What did you need my help with?”
“My dad texted,” Nick said. Lynn sat up stiffly. He never did like Nick’s father, the way he abandoned his son yet held such a firm grip over his heart.
“He said something about having an extra paragliding ticket. He invited me to come! He’s never invited me to anything,” Nick said excitedly, “I need to pick a good outfit so he’ll see how awesome I am.” The sight of his happily wagging tail broke Lynn’s heart.
“Nick,” he muttered, “Aren’t you afraid of heights?”
“Oh, that?” Nick laughed, tight and high-pitched, “That’s ok! That’s ok, I’ll power through. For dad. Yeah. I’ll be fine!”
“Nick, shouldn’t he know about that? He’s your dad.”
“Yeah, I know, Lynn,” Nick muttered. He slumped down against the wall, eyes closed, taking deep, wet breaths. Lynn was by his side in a flash, arms around Nick’s shoulders, his wings enveloping both of them in a protective shield.
“I just–I just want him to care about me,” Nick whispered.
Lynn held the demon tighter, “I’m sorry, Nick. I’m sorry. You–you don’t deserve a father like this, Nick.”
“But he’s still my dad, Lynn.”
Lynn sighed, pulling Nick closer and tighter, ignoring any sounds coming from the demon. An overwhelming need to punch James Hoult through the nine circles of Hell overtook the angel, but he pressed it down, focusing on running his hand through the demon’s hair. They stayed there for what felt like an eternity, slumped against each other on the floor of Nick’s apartment.
Nick finally pulled himself away, Lynn suddenly missing the warmth. Nick was right, demons did run warm.
“I–I still have to get ready. Find something to wear, something cool,” Nick said. He paused before the mirror, running a shaky hand through his hair. The demon glared at his messy braid and undid it with one quick motion. “Lynn, I know last time I asked you this you just gave me Lily’s hairstyle, but can you braid my hair? Please?”
Lynn smiled, “Yeah, sure. Sit down, I was just messing with you last time.”
“Didn’t realize you had it in you,” Nick said without much bite, “But now I know better.”
“Only for you.”
Lynn thread his hands through Nick’s hair. It was surprisingly soft, although judging by the inordinate amount of care Nick placed on his appearance, Lynn really should not be surprised. He quickly braided the strands, letting his fingers linger whenever they brushed Nick’s nape. A little indulgence should be okay.
The demon hummed quietly under his touch, scrolling through his phone. Just as Lynn finished the neat little braid, Nick jolted, hands shaking as his eyes dashed back and forth across the screen.
“Nick, what’s wrong?” Lynn asked.
“He canceled. Said he–said he found a pretty girl. To take on a date. Didn’t even apologize,” Nick said flatly. His arms fell to his side, a choked laugh erupting from his throat.
Lynn reached out and took Nick’s hand, guiding him over to the bed. They sat down, Nick’s eyes downcast.
“I have a nice bottle of Merlot I’ve been saving for a special occasion,” Lynn said, “Why don’t I halo this up and then you can come over?”
“Is this a special occasion?” Nick said, “My father ditching me. Again. What’s so spe–”
“No, It’s ah, it’s…it’s my brother’s birthday!” Lynn said quickly. It was not technically a lie; all of the angels in heaven were his brothers and sisters, and it was surely someone’s birthday today.
“Yeah, it’s my brother’s birthday, we were supposed to celebrate but he was busy, um…with a blind date! So he asked me to celebrate for him, yeah.”
Nick stared at him, mouth agape. Then the demon burst into laughter, light and airy, the sound filling up the room. Lynn smiled, the satisfaction of a good deed done well settling deep in his gut.
“Hey, Lynn,” Nick said softly, “Thank you. Really, thank you.”
Something else settled in his stomach then, but Lynn brushed it aside. He took his halo off his head and prepared for the inevitable headache. If it made Nick feel better, it was worth it.
Lynn
Come
“So do you want to tell me why you’re dragging me around the mall?” Lynn said, letting Nick tug him through the various stores.
“It’s Neil’s birthday next week,” Nick said, “I want to do something nice you know? Get him something he likes.”
“And you trust my expertise?” Lynn asked skeptically.
“You and Lily are close right? I figured…Well, I figured you probably know how to be a good big brother. Better than me anyways.”
“You’re a good brother, Nick.”
“Sure,” Nick muttered, “You’ve seen the way he treats me. I’ve…demons have a different way of showing love. Neil’s just, just softer, I guess.”
“He’s a good kid,” Lynn nodded, “Kind, gentle, forgiving. You can start making it up to him now. This is a good first step.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Nick laughed, “Birthday presents in Hell usually involved wedgies and hexes. I was dunked in the fire lake by my friends when I turned twelve. It’s just…Neil never liked any of those things, and I…I guess I never tried to get to know him properly.”
“Lily was like that too,” Lynn said. Nick turned to him, eyebrows raised. Lynn laughed, “Hey, you don’t have to look at me like that. It’s true. Lily always marched to the beat of her own drum. I would always get letters and calls home telling me about how she would play rock music instead of hymns or how she would paint abstract art instead of fruit bowls.”
He placed a reassuring hand on Nick’s shoulder, squeezing tightly. “Our siblings are different, and there’s nothing wrong with that. We just have to be there for them.”
“You’re right Lynn,” Nick said, placing his hand over the angel’s, “I…um, I really appreciate this, Lynn.”
“No problem, Nick. You’re not bad for a demon.”
Nick laughed, loud and full, and Lynn allowed a smile to split across his face. Spending time with Nick was surprisingly nice. He would not really mind doing this again, even if he was losing precious cleaning time. He let Nick hold his hand even after the moment passed, walking side by side as they perused the shops. It was comfortably domestic in a way that Lynn was not ready to dive into yet.
“Lynn, Neil likes pandas, right?”
“Oh, yeah, he loves them,” Lynn nodded, “I’m pretty sure that’s why he works in that pet shop even though he always comes back bruised and battered.”
“I saw a panda themed gift store back there. We can check that out?”
Lynn nodded, letting himself fall into step beside Nick. The walk to the shop was uneventful, the store having so much panda memorabilia that both Nick and Lynn managed to pick something out for Neil relatively quickly.
“That was fast,” Nick said, opening his wallet and paying for his gift, a little panda patterned cloth mask, “Are you hungry?”
Lynn nodded, “I could go for some food.”
“The food court’s pretty close by, let’s go,” Nick said, extending his hand. Lynn took it without much thought.
“Yeah, that sounds nice.”
His heart fluttered in his chest, and he felt his face grow hot. He looked down at their hands as Nick pulled him away, blabbering about his workday. Warmth pooled in the angel’s stomach as he watched Nick’s face, still radiant even when lit by the artificial industrial lights. He felt his breath hitch.
Fuck.
Nick, Lily is doing a project on demon culture.
Do you think you can come by later? She has a few questions for you.
I baked cookies.
Nick fidgeted with his tie, straightening out the imaginary wrinkles again for the hundredth time. After the shopping trip, Lynn has been avoiding him, Nick only catching a glimpse of the angel a few times since Neil's birthday party. He had an inkling why, but he decided to give Lynn space. As much as Nick would not admit it, he didn’t want to mess this up.
The door swung open, Lynn looking up at Nick in surprise.
“Nick? I thought I told you that Lily's not gonna be home until six.”
Nick took a deep breath, trying not to sound too eager. He had an image to protect, even if Lynn had seen him at his worst.
“What, I’m not allowed to come in and spend some time with my angel friend?” Nick said, trying to keep his tone light. “It’s been awhile, Lynn.”
“Yeah,” the angel replied tightly, cracking the door open.
The normally rowdy apartment was strangely empty, the silence a little by unsettling. Nick shot Lynn a confused look.
“Oh, Ira and Damao are at a convention. Your brother’s at work, no idea where Abu went.”
“Ah, just us then?” Nick asked. He watched as Lynn tensed and stiffly nodded. Nick was right, then. Probably, anyways.
“Tea?” the angel asked, fidgeting with his fingers. Nick took a deep breath. Screw taking it slow. Nick wanted this and he was about ninety-three percent sure Lynn did too.
He crossed the room with two strides and grabbed Lynn’s face with both hands. Nick felt the angel freeze, saw his eyes go wide in confusion. It was now or never. If he backed out now, there was no way he could smooth talk his way out of the awkwardness. Nick leaned forward, smashing his lips against Lynn’s. He felt the angel gasp, the bumping of teeth. It took a moment, but then Lynn was leaning into the kiss, hands reaching up to card through Nick’s hair.
They parted, panting, a hearty happiness filling Nick’s gut. He smiled. Lynn smiled back, blissed out and flushed.
“Nick.”
“Lynn.”
“Thanks. For that,” Lynn muttered, “I would never have worked up the courage to… you know.”
Nick chuckled, “Well, you lucked out with me, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, sure,” Lynn scoffed, flicking Nick on the forehead, “You still want tea? I made snickerdoodles.”
“I’d love some.”
He followed Lynn into the kitchen and took a seat. The angel moved with an elegant grace as he pulled the kettle from the stove, pouring the steaming liquid into two cups. Nick felt a flutter in his chest when Lynn plunked two sugar cubes and a dash of milk into Nick’s cup, just the way he liked it.
Lynn set a tray of cookies and the tea down between them. The warm, buttery smell drifted through the apartment. Nick felt his tail wagging in appreciation. He could get used to this, the domesticity of sharing little moments with Lynn.
“So,” the angel said, “We have the apartment to ourselves for a while.”
Nick nearly scalded his tongue on his tea. He looked at Lynn with awe. “Wow, angel, didn’t know you had that in you.”
“Guess you’re rubbing off on me, Nick.”
“How about I make sure whatever I’m rubbing off sticks?”
“I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”