Chapter Text
Chapter 1 - The Surprise
October 31st, 1979
“Did you pick up your tux?”
“Yes, just got it this morning,” Remus lied smoothly. He supposed he would just have to pick it up sometime before the rehearsal tomorrow. Admittedly, he wasn’t looking forward to wearing the damn thing, however elated he was for his reason to wear it. But James had been kind enough to pay for it, so you would hear no protestations from Remus.
“Good...that’s good…” James muttered.
“...I trust the house is all squared away?” Remus checked.
“What?”
“...The…house?”
“The house- Oh, yeah. Yeah, the last of the furniture went in this week. Lily’s got a great eye, we’ve shaped it up into quite the digs. Can’t wait for you to see the finishing touches.”
“I’m looking forward to it. Which backsplash did you settle on?”
“The er, the yellow one we showed you.”
“Brilliant.”
He waited for James to keep talking; because, usually, James kept talking. But instead, he fell silent for a few moments and stared very intently into his pint. Like most everything else, this did not go unnoticed by Remus.
“...Prongs?”
“Hm?” he hm-ed, his eyes never leaving his beer.
Remus cracked a smile, recognizing this as one of the rare occasions he had something to pick on James for. “...Am I to believe what I’m seeing? ‘The’ James Potter, actually nervous?”
This heinous accusation snapped James out of his reverie, and he pawed defensively at his jet black, disobedient hair. “What? No, bugger off. No, no, it’s just…”
“...It’s just...?” Remus awaited his rebuttal.
James tried to come up with something clever and arrogant to say, but finally gave up with a tortured sigh. “...Yeah, alright, I’m scared stiff,” he confessed with uncharacteristic humility. Wow. Talk about how love can change a bloke.
Remus chuckled. Seven years of mischief at school, plus another year fighting a war with an underground resistance organization, and James Potter was scared of getting married.
“You know, when you see her walking down the aisle, you won’t be afraid anymore.” This made James smile, as Remus hoped it would. “Furthermore,” he continued, “you told me before you asked her to marry you that you’d never been more sure of anything in your life-”
“I’m still sure, I am. Dead certain. Doesn’t help the nerves, though.”
“I’d be nervous too if I were getting married at the ripe old age of nineteen.”
“I know it seems mental, but it’s like I said: we figured, why hold off when none of us are promised tomorrow? ‘Specially in these times.”
“It’s a fair point,” Remus conceded, sipping his own beer. He’d become accustomed to this explanation, as James had repeated some variant of it several times. It wasn’t that Remus didn’t believe him, but he wondered if - perhaps - James still couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the fact that he’d managed to get Lily Evans to fall in love with him, and wanted to offer her his surname as soon as possible, if only to prove it to himself. Besides, James had never been the patient type, and after six long years of unsuccessful wooing (probably the longest James had ever been made to wait for anything in his life), and much forgiveness on her part, Lily had finally come ‘round. War? Sure. The imminent and ever-present threat of certain death? Yeah. But probably more than that, Remus assumed that James didn’t see any good reason to wait any longer.
And boy, were the two of them good together. Almost sickeningly so. Lily was compassion personified with twice the wit James had, if such a thing was possible. She made him want to be better, and shockingly, he was .
“She’s it for me, Moony,” James mused, unaware that by doing so, he’d confirmed Remus’s hypothesis. “Either I marry her now, or I twiddle my thumbs like an arsehole for five years and marry her anyway.”
Remus glanced back up to find his friend smiling knowingly to himself, and took the opportunity to harass him further.
“Lily is too good for you. You know that, don’t you?”
“Ha, trust me, I’m aware. Lil’s too good for this world.”
“...Lily Evans,” Remus muttered, shaking his head from side to side. He still couldn’t believe it, either.
“Lily... Evans,” James marveled.
“Nearly Lily Evans Potter.”
“If I pass out from the shock of it, just tell the minister to keep going.”
Remus patted him on the back. “The wedding will be wonderful, don’t worry.”
Then James fell strangely silent again, as he had a moment ago. “Yeah...about the wedding...Moony, I’ve erm…I’ve got to warn you,” he began, shifting uncomfortably on his barstool.
“Warn me?” Remus echoed, thinking this was maybe the beginning of a joke; but James was not smirking in his usual devilish way, which led Remus to believe that perhaps something really was wrong. Lily had purposefully planned the date around the lunar cycle so Remus could enjoy the festivities without having to worry about his “furry little problem,” as James called it. He didn’t see what else he would possibly have to be warned about other than that. “...Warn me about what?”
James adjusted his glasses as his eyes darted skittishly back to his lager. “Erm...Well, it’s going to come as a surprise…”
“Prongs, spit it out,” Remus bade him, before taking another sip - a choice which he would soon heartily regret.
“...Em is coming.”
Remus sputtered and choked on his stout before fumbling the glass and spilling half of its contents onto the bar counter. Other patrons in The Barrister’s took notice and shot the pair of them judgmental looks as Remus coughed noisily and James floundered about in search of nearby napkins.
“Well there’s no sense in trying to drown yourself-”
“Please tell me this is a prank,” wheezed Remus, red-faced from his coughing fit. He snatched a wad of napkins from James’s fist and began dabbing his beer-soaked trousers. “A cruel, unsavory Halloween prank.” Undoubtedly Padfoot’s idea. Bastard. He looked around to see if Sirius and Peter were hiding somewhere, laughing at him.
“Afraid not. She’s recently gotten back in touch, so Lilyaskedhertocometothewedding.” The words tumbled out of his mouth all at once. Better to rip the plaster off in one go.
“What? ” Remus exclaimed as if he hadn’t heard him the first time, drawing more glares from onlookers.
Untroubled by others as per usual, James proceeded to pour salt in the wound. “Remember I’d told you she never responded to the invitation? Well, we received a pretty lengthy letter a few days ago. Lily and Marlene have gone to see her in London-”
“London? ” Remus hissed, becoming more aware of the other people around them. That was one more letter than he’d ever gotten from her. “Since when is she back?
“Just within the past couple of weeks, apparently.”
“And nobody thought to tell me-?”
“Lil and I had to think about it a bit!”
“Bloody hell James, what a lovely surprise,” Remus griped. Once he’d discarded the wet napkins atop the bar, he grasped desperately for the pack of Rothmans in his breast pocket. He then offered a cigarette to James, who declined, and lamented the fact that he’d picked up the habit right as James had decided to quit. Of course, since James had quit, so had Sirius. And Padfoot used to source the good French ones, too. Bastards.
“Look, I’m getting married for Godric’s sake, and I really do want you to enjoy the wedding. You don’t have to talk to her if you don’t want to. I would completely understand if you didn’t.”
“Then I hope you’re planning on a large place setting for the inevitable elephant in the room.” This was mumbled a bit with the cigarette pressed into the corner of Remus’s mouth. With a now-trembling hand, he fished unsuccessfully for the lighter he swore he’d stuck in one of his trouser pockets.
“Moony-”
“Hang on,” Remus interrupted again as a frightening thought arose. “...She’s not going to be at the rehearsal tomorrow, is she?”
“Well, that’s the other thing...Lil wants her up there as a bridesmaid.”
Remus's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. “Oh- Brilliant - So she’s in the wedding now.” In his opinion, she’d missed that cut off by a long shot.
“They figured since Petunia won’t be using the dress, after some alterations-”
“Unbelievable. Unbelievable-”
“Mate, I know what kind of a position this puts you in, and if I were you, I’d be fuming. Obviously, she did a really horrid thing; but Lily misses her. It wouldn’t be right not to have her there, I’m sorry...”
Having located the lighter, Remus lit the cigarette and inhaled forcefully as if sucking the last bit of a beverage through a straw, then exhaled quickly to get another drag in as soon as possible. James was supposed to be on his side.
“Maybe you could-…I dunno, maybe you could ask her about-”
“Did the letter explain why?” questioned Remus.
“…Not really. Just said how sorry she was.”
Remus scoffed.
Perhaps his anger was misdirected. In James's shoes; no, Lily’s…well, he supposed he might’ve done the same thing. Maybe he wouldn’t’ve, he didn’t know. Lily was altogether more forgiving than Remus could ever strive to be.
He wasn’t at all prepared to see her tomorrow. Then again, he didn’t think any amount of time could’ve prepared him. Perhaps the last-minute warning was an act of mercy to save him from prolonged anxiety. He considered this as he massaged his forehead, retreating into his thoughts.
James knew the glazed-over look well, and worried what Remus might be considering. “You have to be there, you know. I need you there,” he reminded him. “You have to show up.”
Remus savored the smoke in his lungs, then heaved a sigh. “...Honestly James, I didn’t know you had such little faith in me,” he retorted, both disparaging and reassuring him. After standing by him through everything for nearly a decade, there was nothing Remus wouldn’t do for James. “I’ll be there.” He flicked the cigarette in the nearest ashtray. “I’ll be sweating like a pig, and probably on the verge of a stroke, but I’ll be there.”
“C’mon, don’t say that. You’re going to look very smart in your fancy muggle tux, and that’ll make her sorry.” He leaned over, whispering: “It’s not like she’s a Death Eater. We’ve been through worse, haven’t we?”
“I don’t know, I’ll let you know after this weekend.” He rather thought he’d take the Death Eater right about now.
…
The following afternoon, Remus strode somewhat reluctantly to St. Jerome’s Church, which stood just a few streets down from his little house and a block away from the soon-to-be-newlyweds’ cottage. Remus kept having to remind himself that this was supposed to be a happy occasion. His best friend was getting married, and yet he found himself dreading the whole ordeal.
As he passed the adjacent graveyard with his hands shoved safely in the pockets of his corduroy jacket, he heard the faint crack of an apparition. Halting his unenthusiastic march, he removed his hand from his pocket to hover over his wand. He was quite relieved to see none other than Sirius Black emerge from behind a large oak tree.
“You were supposed to arrive in the chapel,” Remus chastised him, shoving his hand back in his pocket.
“Guess I just missed the landing,” Sirius said smugly through a not-so-sorry grin. He was an effortlessly handsome chap with an symmetrical jawline as sharp as they come and a sharp tongue to match. As he approached, he ran his fingers through the center of his shoulder-length obsidian hair, and Remus could not articulate why this stupid gesture always sort of made him want to lightly punch Sirius in the jaw.
Sirius weaved through the headstones on his way to hop over the graveyard wall and embrace him. “Blimey Moony, you look like you’re about to be sick all over your shoes,” he observed, which only increased Remus's urge to sock him.
“Nice to see you too, Padfoot,” Remus replied flatly. “Marlene inside already then?”
“Yeah, she went over a bit early to decorate and whatnot. Lily insisted she didn’t need it, but...well, you know how Marley gets.”
Wand to his head, you’d never hear the word “girlfriend” leave his lips; but Marlene McKinnon seemed to be the first girl to make something of a monogamist of Sirius Black (though Sirius still insisted they weren’t taking things too seriously, evidenced by how on-and-off it tended to get at times). Not that anyone was complaining. Marlene was as caring as she was clever, and did much to tame Sirius into a semi-respectable semi-adult.
Throughout a painful lull in the conversation, Sirius's smile faded. “...I heard about-”
“I’d rather not talk about it,” Remus called over his shoulder as he pushed past him. “Today should be about celebrating James and Lily, so drawing attention to it will be quite unnecessary, thank you very much.”
“I don’t see how that’s at all avoidable, but off we go nonetheless,” Sirius remarked under his breath as he caught up to him.
St. Jerome’s had been in the heart of Godric’s Hollow since the thirteenth century. While small, its quaint, unassuming nature made it a perfect venue for a wartime wedding. Towering stained-glass windows cast fragments of colored light onto the mahogany pews, contrasting the cold but time-honored limestone of the foundation. At the back of the church overlooking the altar was a larger rose window, with multi-colored segments of glass woven together into an intricate circular pattern. By the time of the wedding tomorrow, the late afternoon light would pour through that very window and bathe James and Lily in its glow as they promised themselves to one another. Yes, a fitting spot for the wedding indeed, Remus thought as they strolled into the sanctuary.
Preparations for the ceremony were already well underway, thanks to Marlene. On the outer aisle, Peter was helping her hang some white decorative bows over the windows. With magic this would have been a quick task, but since they had to err on the side of caution with so many muggles in town, Marlene had to get up on a ladder to do it. Adjacent to the altar, the officiant was speaking with the happy couple. Remus was delighted to see James looking oddly serene. No more nerves; at least for the time being…
..Though his observation of the church and the Potters distracted him from the footsteps approaching behind him. It was only when Lily turned and beamed that he realized.
“Emmie!”
The bride bounded off the altar, sneaking a sympathetic look in Remus's direction as she ran to embrace her friend.
“You made it!”
“Of course I did.”
Marlene had climbed down from her ladder and followed suit.
“I’ve brought the dress so you can try it on.”
“Thanks, Marley.”
“So you were… allowed to come, then?”
“Marley, please...”
“Lily, I'm just asking.”
“…I wouldn’t miss it.”
Remus didn’t dare turn around, even as the boys approached to greet her. Eventually, James came up alongside him and placed a steadying hand on his shoulder. Apparently, his impression of a statue was beginning to look a bit awkward. Directing his gaze up to the heavens and heaving a sigh, he shuffled around slowly.
Fan-bloody-tastic.
Emmeline Vance remained infuriatingly beautiful. He was rather hoping she would have sprouted a goiter or something.
She was releasing Sirius from a tentative hug when their eyes locked, and she stiffened. Knowing the extent of both of their discomfort, particularly Remus's, the rest of the wedding party thought it best to return to their stations and hastily trotted away.
“Hello, Remus…” she addressed him meekly.
He acknowledged her with a nod, the perfect picture of stoicism. “Emmeline.”
Emmeline didn’t seem to be able to come up with anything to say, while Remus had to keep himself from saying anything . But the few moments of tense silence afforded each of them an opportunity to notice things that had changed about the other. For instance, Remus took note of the fact that she looked far more prim than he remembered, almost entirely against his will. Her hair was smoother, her clothes were sleeker, and her posture exhausted him just by looking at it. She looked like a different person.
“Now that this is all of us, shall we begin?” the minister suggested.
Emmeline scurried past to position herself on Lily’s side behind Marlene. After delaying one moment longer to collect himself, Remus took his place next to Sirius.
The rehearsal and the following dinner seemed like one big blur after the fact, but Remus tried his best to smile and appear like he was enjoying himself for Lily and James. He could attend to the problem another time.
But it was so unfair that he was being made to look at her.