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A cloth was thrown across the room.
“You bitch!”
Poland grabbed Lithuania’s shirt’s collar and stood on his toes to face him, for Poland was significantly shorter than Lithuania.
“You’re not going to take her away, just like that, and let her live with your new wifey and her crazy brother!”
Lithuania seemed livid, yet fell silent and took a deep breath trying to refrain from ripping his hopefully soon ex-husband into pieces. Though the thought of doing that caused a small smirk on his face.
Sitting a bit further Belarus just silently poured vodka into two glasses and passed one of them to Hungary who kept her company in this rather strange situation.
“It’s my child and I know better what’s good for her” Lithuania said, trying to keep the fight down.
Poland apparently didn’t care about neighbours nor other people in the room, since he was shouting so loud he was soon going to lose his voice.
“YOUR child? Excuse me?! It’s OUR child!”
“Not to be mean, Poland, but I thought you were the one who didn’t like Russia’s communism and now with that »it’s not yours, it’s ours« sweet talk you sound totally like him!” said completely amused Belarus.
“Shut up!” Poland turned to her, rage in his eyes.
“To be honest, I wouldn’t consider that a sweet talk. More like »Karen took the kids«...” started Hungary.
“Okay, but why are you still here?” Lithuania interrupted her, pure annoyance in his voice.
“That’s right. Why are we still here...” Suddenly they all heard from the kitchen. “Just to suffer.” Vilnius made her dramatic entrance into the living room. Everyone just looked at her when she sat between Hungary and Belarus on the couch and started eating popcorn from a bowl she had brought with her.“’Sup, everyone? What are we discussing this time?”
“Ah, Vilnius, we were just chitchatting, honey. Nothing to worry about,” chirped Poland.
“Your parents have just tried to brutally slaughter each other while arguing about who you’re going to live with after their divorce,” explained Belarus.
“Bela, you idiot!” angrily whispered Lithuania and smacked his girlfriend’s arm.
“Ah, so nothing special.” Vilnius shrugged and continued eating popcorn.
“But... As you’re here now maybe you would like to say who would you prefer to live with...?” hesitantly asked Poland.
“Sure she wants to live with me. Don’t you, sweetheart?” Lithuania turned to face Vilnius. “You’re my capital. You don’t want to live with him, do you?” Lithuania said motioning with his hand to Poland who has now sat on the edge of the couch, next to his girlfriend Hungary.
Before Vilnius could say anything, Poland started. “Of course she prefers to live with me. What even are the pros of living with you?” He grimaced, looking up and down at Lithuania. “Been there, done that. Zero stars, would not recommend.” Then he started to count on his fingers. “You’re boring and strict as hell. You have no sense of humour whatsoever. You insist on cleaning the whole house every week. You like that son of a bitch Russia...”
“No I don’t. I’m just being polite because he is my girlfriend’s brother. That’s all. You could at least try to be nice for somebody, you know? It could have a good impact on you”
“Ohhh!” Vilnius shook her hand. “That roast burned!”
Hungary snorted and accidentally choked on her vodka.
“Oh for the love of God! Are you alright?” asked alarmed Poland.
Hungary just nodded.
“Okay, but back to where I’d prefer to live.” started Vilnius and everyone turned back to her. “Can’t I just live two weeks with you,” she pointed at Lithuania, “and then two weeks with you?” she kicked Poland with her foot.
“First of all, don’t talk to me like that. I’m your father, you have to respect me...”
“See? He’s so strict and prissy! Not like me, I’m a cool parent. If you stay with me, we will watch Netflix all day and eat only ice cream!”
“And that’s why she stays with me”
“No, that’s why we’re getting divorced. Because you’re boring”
Lithuania didn’t even look offended at this point.
“Okay guys, I feel like we have to state this: you’re both the worst parents ever” Hungary finally spoke up.
Both Lithuania and Poland started to say something but then a door bell rung and interrupted them
“I’ll get it” said Lithuania who was standing all this time while everybody else was sitting on the couch.
The sound of opening the door was followed by a hesitant “Hello, Russia. How can I help you?’
Everyone in the room froze.
After a couple of seconds Poland came to his senses. “Get the holy water!” he shouted running out of the living room in a rush.
Vilnius quickly escaped to her room.
Hungary muttered curses and hid under the couch.
Only Belarus was still sitting on the couch. She gulped loudly. Her face went pale.
Then Russia came into the room. Lithuania on shaking legs right behind him.
“I expected more people to be here...” said Russia looking around.“Anyway, I just came here because Bela said she was going to visit you, Lithuania, but forgot to take her Adidas tracksuit with her. Silly girl.” Russia smiled and gave the clothes to flustered Belarus.
And then he left.