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Stacy rubbed her arms thoughtfully as she waited for her brother, Craig, to join her on the porch. Moments later, carrying two mugs, an electric kettle, and a bottle of honey, he exited the kitchen and began setting things down. She’d already grabbed the tea bags, so she took one of the mugs from him and prepared her tea to steep.
“Thanks again for letting me come over.” Slowly bobbing the bag in and out of the water, Stacy looked up at him, as he chuckled.
“It’s always nice to see my baby sister.” Craig poured the water into his mug and placed the kettle aside. “Even if the circumstances are… weird.”
The two of them stayed silent for a moment before Stacy sighed, rapping her fingers on the table.
“Do mom and dad know?” Her eyes stayed down and she held her breath, afraid that she’d find her answer in his eyes before he could confirm or deny anything. Craig merely shook his head.
“No.” Stacy relaxed, relief washing over her, and Craig continued. “I think this is a decision dad shouldn’t have to make.” As he removed his tea bag, his sister watched him, raising her brow, and leaned forward just a bit.
“So you’re saying it’s up to us to decide his fate?” Stacy grimaced a little bit. “That sounds a little shitty, don’t you think? Not that I think dad should know, but, you know what I mean.” Staring down into her tea, she felt the familiar sense of self-righteousness that their father always gave off now coming off of her brother in waves, and it unnerved her. How much of a copycat had Craig become?
“Stacy, consider the situation. Kevin is a criminal, a murderer, and he was in prison as punishment. And now, what, he’s wandering around the country a free man? Didn’t live out his sentence, now he gets to pretend he’s innocent?” Before Craig could continue, Stacy groaned and interjected.
“Are you serious with this ‘live out his sentence’ shit? It was a life sentence, he was never getting out!” Removing the tea bag, she grabbed the honey roughly and started putting some into her drink, her eyes staying mostly trained on her brother.
“All the more reason for him to be locked up!” Stacy had picked up her spoon to mix up the honey, but dropped it on the table and leaned her head back, giving him an incredulous look.
“Christ, Craig, is this you, or the lawyer in you speaking?” Craig, who had himself started sweetening his drink, quickly looked up from what he was doing and narrowed his eyes at Stacy. His mouth hung open, slowly gritting his teeth a bit.
“Is that what you think of me, really?” Setting his spoon down as well, he leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table. “No one’s paying me to represent anyone here, I’m speaking as his brother. And I know what’s best for him, even if he doesn’t want to hear it.” Stacy audibly gawked at him in disbelief, her mouth forming a smile as she laughed. This only annoyed him more.
“What, what’s so damn funny?” He demanded. Stacy shook her head and sighed.
“You sound just like dad. ‘Oh I know what’ll help my son, send him off to boot camp, yeah he’ll definitely learn how to respect authority,’” she mocked. “Come the fuck on, Craig. Kevin’s never been like us. He never had a chance to do right by dad.” Before she could continue, Craig stood up, his hands on the table, bracing himself.
“He had a chance! He could have stayed out of trouble, didn’t have to steal dad’s cigarettes, all sorts of choices he chose wrong!” Stacy wasn’t going to argue with her brother if he got this worked up, so she picked up her spoon and started mixing the honey and tea together, staring him down and waiting for him to sit back down, which he did.
“Did you ever actually try being nice to him? Like, actually go out of your way to be a good older brother? Or did you use him as a stepstool to get in better with dad?” Craig opened his mouth, but his sister’s harsh gaze kept him from speaking. He began adding more honey to his tea, grumbling a bit, while she continued.
“We’re adults. You can admit you’re wrong and it’s not going to make me think less of you. In fact, it’d be refreshing to hear you do something right by Kevin, just for once.” Again, Craig wanted to say something, but there weren’t any words he felt would help. Not only that, but the last time he spoke to Kevin was not under fortunate circumstances. Once he found the words, he cleared his throat, taking a sip of his drink.
“You don’t think, you know... that Kevin would go out of his way to jeopardize his situation, would he? Like, go on another violent streak?” He took another swig of his drink, this one a bit deeper. Stacy rolled her eyes.
“Why would he? If he went after anyone, he’d go after dad, but I don’t think he even wants to see him. Not after the trial.” Her eyebrow raised up. “Why do you ask?” Her brother took a long breath.
“I, uh… I may have spoken to him. While he was in prison.” Stacy’s eyes narrowed, and she moved her hand forward on the table.
“Yeah…? And?” Despite the sun being mostly below the horizon, Craig felt the rays beating into his skin like a jury staring him down. It felt deeply uncomfortable to admit something he thought he’d never have to think about again, especially to his sister. He wondered what she’d think of him, but it seemed he wouldn’t have to wonder for long.
“I… I visited him… and I told him that… that I felt he was where he belonged.” Watching his sister’s face contort into a look of disgust, and eventually horror, wasn’t making the admission any easier. “Even… even so far as to say that if he’d hired me, I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t have defended him.” As he spoke the last bit, he averted his eyes to the table, unable to look at his sister directly.
“Craig…” Even hearing his name, he felt the sting of disapproval in her voice. For all the cases he’d worked, the times he’d upset their father, nothing hurt more than disappointing his baby sister. “Why would you do that?” The more she spoke, the more he wanted to run.
“I don’t know! He had it coming? At the time it felt like the right thing to do-” Stacy cut him off.
“To, what, gloat? Why in god’s name would you ever think that was okay?” She made a sound of disgust and moved to stand up, but Craig put his hand out.
“Stacy! Please, I’m sorry.” She turned to look at him, cocking her head.
“Is it really me you should be apologizing to?”
Craig faced forward, then looked down at his tea. He’d spent so many years being cruel to Kevin, that he didn’t even feel like he could apologize. And besides, was he apologizing because he felt bad about being mean to him, or was he apologizing to assuage the guilt he felt over disappointing Stacy? If their father were here, he’d tell Stacy to be quiet, that Kevin had it coming, and that would be the end of it. For all these years after they all left home, she’d never stood up to either one of them to defend Kevin, and now she was literally standing up to Craig to tell him he was wrong.
Their brother was still a criminal, and it wasn’t directly Craig or their father who made him that way. But perhaps they still had some culpability in him being on that road at all. Stacy was certainly right about him pushing Kevin down when they were kids, after all. However, their father would never fully see it her way, and perhaps there was a reason for it, since he was perfectly kind to the two kids of his who had become perfectly normal adults.
Still, Kevin had a new lease on life, where he didn’t have to be a criminal, and now Craig could decide whether to stick by his guns, or let fate decide what should happen to his brother.
Craig swiftly stood up from the table, grabbing his mug of tea and headed inside. Stacy followed, watching as he placed his tea on the counter and grabbed the phone, standing there as the dial tone rang out from the earpiece. She held her breath as he hovered a finger over the operator button, but ultimately, he lowered it and handed her the receiver.
“Can you dial him for me? I don’t know his number.” Once she took it from him, he turned away, rubbing the back of his head anxiously as she dialed. Faintly hearing the ringing tone even from partly across the room, his breathing hastened with every sequential ring, but when a low voice answered, even though he couldn’t understand it, he froze up.
“Hey Kevin, it’s Stacy. Yeah, I uh, I have someone who wants to say something to you… no, don’t worry, it’s not dad. But you have to promise not to hang up on him.”
Silence. And then the low, unintelligible voice spoke.
“Alright, here.”
Craig slowly turned around to see his sister holding out the receiver. He almost faltered as he took it from her, but he turned his back to her again and closed his eyes, exhaling deeply.
“Hey Kevin.”