Work Text:
At the sound of the door to the Jingshi opening, Wei Ying’s attention was drawn away from the latest talisman he was creating. He was sprawled out on the floor surrounded by several pieces of paper containing notes, ink, brushes, and talisman paper. At the sight of Lan Zhan framed in the doorway and backlit by the sunshine, Wei Ying scrambled into a seated position, his legs crossed sloppily, and his lips split into a wide smile. He wiped at a bead of perspiration that had started snaking down his cheek, and he felt a sticky wetness remaining. Probably ink. Wei Ying shrugged at the thought. It would wash away, but he could worry about that later.
“Lan Zhan!”
Lan Zhan stepped into the room, and Wei Ying could make out his facial features. His smile fell slightly as he took in the tense line of Lan Zhan’s lips, his shoulders unconsciously held closer to his ears than they normally would be. Wei Ying could even make out the faint dark circles that had begun to mar the skin underneath his eyes. Wei Ying was aware that there had been several dignitaries present in Cloud Recesses today, and Lan Zhan had spent the entire day in various meetings, forced to interact with far more people than he typically did. Lan Zhan had never wanted to be in any sort of leadership role, but he’d taken on Lan Xichen’s duties while he remained in seclusion mostly because it was his duty to do so. Wei Ying hated that word in the sense that it often led to tying a person down to something unenjoyable. And Wei Ying was the type to balk at any sort of restraint.
He knew Lan Zhan would do what he felt was required of him without complaint because that was what Lan Zhan did. Wei Ying had decided that he would be the one to balance out that drive for Lan Zhan to be of service to his clan with opportunities for Lan Zhan to be himself. Wei Ying took immense joy in this self-appointed role.
Lan Zhan’s eyes softened just a smidgen at the sight of his husband, and that’s when Wei Ying knew that Lan Zhan was struggling and overwhelmed. Lan Zhan’s eyes were far more expressive around Wei Ying. Wei Ying rose to his feet and approached Lan Zhan, checking his speed. Usually, he’d rush to Lan Zhan to throw his arms around him and pepper him with questions and talk as well as all the physical affection he could give, but today, he could tell Lan Zhan would just become defensive and shut him out. Wei Ying came to a stop with some space still between them. Lan Zhan placed his sword in the stand, his eyes never leaving Wei Ying’s face.
“Wei Ying.”
Wei Ying’s heart skipped a beat at the gentleness in the tone, but it was also colored by fatigue and a little wariness. Ah, how considerate Lan Zhan was of him to offer him a greeting when the rigid way he held himself screamed that he really didn’t want any sort of interaction with a person. Even if the person standing across from him was his husband. Wei Ying reached out and grasped one of Lan Zhan’s hands, squeezing lightly.
“I’ll leave you alone for a little bit, okay? I’ll make sure dinner is sent to you.”
Lan Zhan’s lips parted in shock. “Wei Ying...”
His chest began to ache at the response he’d received. He smiled reassuringly. “It’s okay, Lan Zhan. Take the time you need. I’ll be back later.” He gave the hand one final squeeze before letting it go and turning to walk out.
“Wei Ying.” The named man paused in his exit. “Will you...come back for dinner?”
Wei Ying glanced over his shoulder, his smile wide. How he loved this selfless man! “Whatever my Lan Zhan wants.”
Lan Zhan inhaled, his shoulders rising. “Please.”
The vulnerability in that tone, the way it was whispered, still carried across the room, and Wei Ying’s heart seized as affection bloomed warm in his chest. He nodded.
Lan Zhan watched Wei Ying go. He took a deep breath and walked with purpose to the table where he normally meditated. He lit the incense burner before going over to the bed. His robes felt heavier than usual, the layers trapping heat that prickled his skin to the point of being unbearable. He began disrobing until the only thing he was left wearing was his undershirt and trousers, folding each piece of clothing and placing it on the bed. The quilts were still in disarray from Wei Ying’s slumber, and while he normally would compulsively reach to tidy them, he let them be now. He just didn’t have the energy to care. He pulled at the large pin holding the heavy silver guan on top of his head and placed that on the bedside table before removing the other pins holding the rest of the intricate headpiece in place. He then worked his top knot free, sighing with relief as the ache from weighty hair pulled tight eased.
He returned to his table and settled into lotus position, his eyes sliding closed. He breathed in deeply, the calming scent of sandalwood filling his nose. He immediately felt his shoulders relaxing. His mind was noisy with his thoughts circling around all the conversations he had and difficult decisions he had to make. His body was stiff from being held in perfect posture all day, and there was a slight ache behind his ears. He focused on his breathing—inhaling and exhaling slowly. Once he had regulated his breathing, which came quick to him, he focused on small areas of his body. Wherever he felt tension, he consciously worked to ease those muscles into relaxation. It took time, but soon, his body felt heavy as it would after restful sleep.
It was quiet in the Jingshi. When Wei Ying had permanently moved into the space with him, it had taken some time for him to be comfortable with long stretches of quiet. There had always been a tiny sliver of fear that would needle him whenever Wei Ying was absent for extended periods of time. It was the fear that Wei Ying wouldn’t return ever again. As time passed and Wei Ying kept returning, Lan Zhan’s anxiety decreased. He allowed himself to begin to ask for the alone time he desperately needed. Interacting with other people was just so exhausting, and there was no way to avoid it when he was adjutant clan leader.
Lan Zhan opened his eyes. He loved that Wei Ying had learned to read him well enough that he didn’t always have to say what he was feeling. It was difficult for him to put his boundless emotions into words, especially when he was depleted. He was aware that they weren’t always able to communicate without verbal language, so he was continuing to work on saying what he needed. Today had been especially difficult to do so, but he’d managed, and he allowed himself to feel proud for having cleared that hurdle.
He glanced toward the open window, taking in the sound of the wind rustling the leaves of the trees, and noted by the position of the sunlight streaming on the floor that it would be some time before dinner. His immediate instinct was to read, but his head still ached, and he didn’t want to strain his eyes any more. He thought of playing the guqin, but it required more thought than he had the energy to expend. When he was feeling this way, the best thing he could do was to continue meditating. This form of meditation wouldn’t require utilizing his spiritual power as he wasn’t planning on cultivating. He intended for his mind to rest. Lan Zhan’s eyes slid closed once more, and he drew his attention to his breath.
He wasn’t sure how much time passed, but Lan Zhan’s eyes blinked open when he heard the sound of shuffling feet on the bamboo flooring. Wei Ying stood before him with a tray of several steaming dishes. His smile was hesitant, and his cheeks were slightly pink. He watched as Wei Ying set the tray on the table between them before going over to the shelf where the chili oil and other spices were kept. Lan Zhan’s stomach growled quietly, and he worked on setting a kettle to boil and placing the dishes on the table. Wei Ying returned and settled across the table, assisting Lan Zhan with setting the dishes. The water came to a roiling boil, and Lan Zhan went through the process of warming the tea pot before steeping the tea and setting out cups. The familiarity of the routine served to further center and ground him.
“How do you feel?”
Wei Ying’s voice was quiet, and Lan Zhan’s heart fluttered at his husband’s consideration. He gave a nod with a slight upturn of his lips. Wei Ying’s smile broadened considerably, and he settled himself further in his seat and began serving himself from the dishes. When Lan Zhan had finished pouring tea, he began filling his own bowl, occasionally leaning forward to place additional vegetables into Wei Ying’s. There was no further conversation and the only noise was the gentle clink of their dishes as they ate. Lan Zhan was aware that Wei Ying was probably working hard to remain silent during the meal because it was yet another way for Lan Zhan to soothe himself. He accepted this gesture while thinking of ways in which he could return the favor.
Once they were finished eating and the dishes cleared, Wei Ying approached Lan Zhan as he sat in front of his guqin. Wei Ying settled beside him with some space between them. Lan Zhan could tell by the occasional twitch in Wei Ying’s hand that he was putting effort into maintaining boundaries. Lan Zhan placed his hands on the strings but his gaze remained on Wei Ying.
“Come.”
Wei Ying immediately sat up, his smile bright and excited. He shifted until he was leaning against Lan Zhan, and the moment their bodies touched, Lan Zhan felt his body relax further. It was as if he’d found the missing piece of himself. The desire to play flew away like a bird, replaced by the desire to wrap Wei Ying with his arms. He did so, burying his nose into the crown of Wei Ying’s head to inhale deeply of his scent—a strange mix of chili oil and the lavender soap. The scents didn’t go well together, but somehow on his husband, it was the best. He sighed.
“Lan Zhan...”
He waited for Wei Ying to finish, and when he didn’t, he pulled slightly away to gaze into his lover’s eyes. After a short moment of silence, WEi Ying reached up and ran his fingers through Lan Zhan’s hair. “May I?”
“Mn.”
Wei Ying moved away. Lan Zhan missed his warmth until he returned with the comb. Wei Ying settled behind Lan Zhan and began by massaging Lan Zhan’s scalp with his fingertips. At each firm stroke of his fingers over particularly tender areas, Lan Zhan’s skin tingled and goosebumps popped. His eyes fluttered closed with a breathy moan escaping his mouth. Wei Ying chuckled.
“You like it, Lan Zhan...my touch.”
There was a teasing lilt to his voice, but it wasn’t enough to get a rise out of Lan Zhan. Instead, Lan Zhan hummed his agreement, and sighed in pleasure with each stroke of Wei Ying’s fingers. Soon, the comb worked its way through Lan Zhan’s hair, smoothing out the bumps left from the top knot and guan and releasing tangles until his hair was silky smooth and glistened in the candlelight. All the while, Lan Zhan made little noises of approval in his throat. The comb was placed on the table with a gentle click, and Wei Ying stood, offering his hand to Lan Zhan.
“Come to bed with me.”
Lan Zhan accepted the proffered hand, rising from his seated position. Wei Ying began to pull toward the bed, but Lan Zhan remained rooted to his spot. Wei Ying paused when he felt the resistance and turned back. Lan Zhan gave a little tug and Wei Ying came willingly, moving to stand against Lan Zhan’s chest and allowing himself to be enveloped into Lan Zhan’s strong arms.
“I love you,” Lan Zhan murmured, placing a gentle kiss on Wei Ying’s forehead. Thank you.
Lan Zhan felt the smirk on Wei Ying’s lips pressed against his chest. “Come to bed and show me just how much, Lan er-Gege.” With that, Lan Zhan allowed himself to be pulled to the bedroom.