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There’s too much noise. I’ve never liked places that are too loud or too busy – which might seem odd that I’m a fighter in the Games. But the truth is, I’m here to protect my friends – or perhaps more than that, I’m here to protect my family. I might not be as strong as Gibraltar, and I might not be as cunning as Mirage, or even as sneaky as Crypto. But deep down, I believe that day by day I’m improving. And I’m getting stronger.
I wasn’t able to save Papa, and I never knew enough about Mama. But I want to make sure that my family here in the games can survive. I don’t want to see us tear apart; as hard as it is to believe, even Revenant has some redeeming factors there, maybe.
I want to try my hardest – but I genuinely don’t understand people. They aren’t willing to show everything to you, and that’s fair enough I don’t need to know everything, but deep down is this different side of them that they don’t openly show, they leave small hints and it gets confusing sometimes I don’t know what to believe and what to trust. I just want to be alone. I want time. Time away from everything and everyone. I don’t blame Loba, she has her own goal, but I was too gullible with who I trust. And I never should have gone after the piece on my own. I shuddered at the memory.
Pulling my head out of my hands I gaze around. My room was drab, dark and empty apart from me. Wraith had escorted me out of the bar and left me here, telling me: “If you need anything, you know where to find me.” Truth is. I don’t think I even wanted to see her right now. I’m not sure how long I’ve spent loathing and lying about in my room. But it’s now night, and the moon was streaming in through the panes, shadows being cast upon the floor by the bars placed on the outside of the window. “I’m still here…” I breathe out harshly, my voice was wavering, threatening to break at any moment. I wanted to continue crying, but I think I’ve cried all the tears that I can right now.
It was a full moon. I watched as the wispy clouds floated past, partially obscuring it and then revealing all. I felt I had been left by the wayside. Used and forgotten about. Even if that wasn’t the most accurate – it was certainly how I felt. “Breathe Nat… Breathe in.” I told myself quietly under my breath.
But my breathing exercises weren’t enough. “Papa…” I choked out. “I miss you.” I clutched one of my many stuffed Nessie’s and pulled it tight to my chest. “Why can’t you tell me what I need to do. Why can’t you tell me, one last time, one more chance.” Truth is, not even Dr. Caustic, Alexander, can replace Papa. And I was foolish one for even thinking he could.