Chapter Text
It's so fucking obvious.
The way they talk to each other, walk together, hang out, blush, compliment the other -- everything screams 'I love you!'. That's why, when Kise had asked Kuroko if he and Akashi were dating and Kuroko said no, Kise made it his duty to ensure that they'd get together at some point before the end of their third year at Teiko.
A task like this would be extremely hard on his own since he doesn't know much about their personal interests. That's why he'd asked the Generation of Miracles -- excluding Akashi and Kuroko, of course -- to help him put his plan into action.
"Aominecchi! Remember, we're meeting in the cafe after school today!" Kise yells as he runs down the corridor, blonde hair bouncing, obviously late for class.
During class, Kise hardly pays attention, -- luckily he sits at the back of class, out of sight from his teacher -- instead, on a scrap piece of paper, he's scribbling down ideas on how he and the rest of the Generation of Miracles can get their two teammates to date.
Kise is there earlier than anyone -- even Midorima, who prides himself in his lack of tardiness. He's tapping a mechanical pencil against his chin impatiently as he waits for his friends to arrive. He reads over the list he'd made in class to pass the time. It's rather vague, he thinks, but he didn't have the leisure to thoroughly plan out each idea -- there's a limit to what you can do in an hour long period.
"Oi, Kise." Aomine says, snapping his fingers in front of Kise's face as he sits down.
"Aominecchi! You're on time for once!" Kise giggles.
Aomine rolls his eyes, "Watch it."
Soon after, Murasakibara, Midorima and Momoi file into the cafe and take a seat at Kise's table. Kise greets them all with a wide grin and slides his paper into the middle of the round table.
"I'm sure you're all aware that Akashicchi's and Kurokocchi's relationship is evidently more than platonic." Kise starts, trying to sound as professional as possible.
"Well, yes. It doesn't take a detective to figure that out." Aomine snorts and the rest of them signal some form of agreement.
"So, I propose we --"
"Stop with the fake professionalism, Kise." Momoi says.
Kise glares at her, narrowing his golden, yellow eyes so much, they look as if they're closed, "Basically, we need to get them together before the end of this year or else they'll go to high school and practically never see each other again, therefore, we have to act fast to make sure that they start dating as soon as possible!"
The remainder of the Generation of Miracles look confused as they try to process Kise's incredibly speedy words.
"How do you suggest we do this?" Aomine asks and Kise's face lights up with a grin.
"Ah, that's the fun part~!" Kise says and motions towards the paper. "I made a list of possible ways we could set them up."
Momoi picks it up and scans through it, "This is rather vague, don't you think?"
Kise gives a sheepish laugh, "Well, I only had an hour..."
"I could get more done in an hour!" Momoi protests.
"Okay, fine, fine, I may have dozed off a few times but that's only because Biology is so boring -- I mean, do I really want to know how plants reproduce?" Kise says defensively. "Anyway, we're being side tracked here. We need to get Akashicchi and Kurokocchi together!"
"Why?" Murasakibara asks, chewing a handful of crisps.
Kise sighs, exasperatedly, "Because if we don't, they'll never figure out their real feelings for each other!"
Midorima rolls his eyes, "What if they're just really good friends?"
Kise laughs so loudly that one of the waitresses threatens to kick them out if they don't be quiet. Kise apologizes quickly and lowers his voice significantly, "Do you really think that good friends would act like that around each other? I mean, Akashicchi always goes to Kurokocchi's house and I'm pretty sure they've done some... naughty... things behind our backs!"
"Are you for real?" Aomine asks, flicking through the menu before standing up and walking over to the counter to order a latte.
"Anyway, for our first plan, I think we should injure Akashicchi -- a minor wound, of course -- and watch Kurokocchi bring out his protective side!" Kise trills with confidence.
"Wouldn't it be more sensible to injure Kuroko?" suggests Momoi.
"I couldn't bare to see Kurokocchi hurt -- he's my best friend after all." Kise says melodramatically.
Aomine, from the counter, lets out an obscenely loud guffaw that gets the entire group kicked out. Midorima groans, Momoi scolds Aomine and Murasakibara couldn't care less. Kise is pretty pissed off too.
"Honestly, Dai-chan!" Momoi reprimands. "You couldn't keep your voice down could you?!"
Aomine just guffaws even more, "That's because Kise here made such a stupid comment. Akashi is Kuroko's best friend, not you!"
Kise sticks his tongue out at Aomine and sighs, "Well, I guess we've decided then. We injure Akashicchi --"
"Kuroko." Midorima interrupts.
"Kurokocchi." Kise corrects himself reluctantly under the hard gaze of Midorima. "And watch Akashicchi bring out his protective side. How about it?"
"I guess I have no choice." Midorima shrugs. "Considering I helped you with a few details, I'm probably expected to help now."
"Eh. No harm in trying." Momoi says.
Murasakibara groans and Aomine slaps Kise on the back with a 'I'm in!'.
In the locker room before basketball practice, Kise, Midorima, Aomine, Momoi and Murasakibara are huddled in a small group in one of the corners, talking. Luckily, the locker room is empty, save for them.
"I think Midorima should injure Kuroko." Momoi says.
"That's a bad idea." Murasakibara says, swallowing a mint. "Mido-chin is the vice captain, he has no reason to be following Kuro-chin around."
"Then who's best person for the job, Murasakibaracchi?" Kise whines.
"I think Mine-chin."
"What? Me?" Aomine looks slightly horrified.
"Of course!" Kise elongates the 'course'. "Aominecchi is Kurokocchi's light! He has every justification to be stalking Kurokocchi."
"It isn't stalking, Kise."
"Ryouta, Shintarou, Daiki, Satsuki, Atsushi, what are you doing in there? Hurry up and get out!" Akashi barks, disbanding the conversation.
They trudge out of the locker room and warm up, stretching their muscles and doing a quick jog around the court to minimize the chances of getting hurt. Then, they get into their respective positions and start the practice game.
The first quarter and half of the second quarter runs smoothly, nothing big happening. When the timer hits four minutes and forty-eight seconds, though, Aomine puts their plan into action.
He runs up in front of Kuroko, making sure to kick his feet back as close to Kuroko as possible. Then, after timing how long Kuroko will take to catch up with him, Aomine 'slips' (he just makes it look like he's tripped over his own feet) and launches a kick into Kuroko's thigh before falling dramatically, twisting his body so that he lands on his front and uses his hands to support his fall.
Kuroko, on the other hand doubles over, clutching his thigh before letting out a small whimper. Akashi, obviously furious, blows the whistle and walks over to Kuroko, who has now sat down, rubbing and massaging his leg.
"Tetsuya, are you alright?" Akashi asks, the worry in his voice evident.
Kuroko gives a weak nod, "It just stings a little."
Akashi examines the red, slightly swollen area of Kuroko's leg, "Everyone, practice is finishing early today. Tetsuya, I'll escort you home."
The whole club -- apart from the Generation of Miracles -- breaks into chatter as they file back into the locker room.
"Daiki, what on earth was that?" Akashi's voice is stern, dripping with anger. "Are you stupid?"
Aomine shakes his head with false guilt, trying to cover his smirk.
"Go home, Daiki." Akashi orders. "What are the rest of you doing here?! Go."
They walk back into the locker room and start changing, as they're told.
Out of the corner of his eye, Kise sees Akashi lifting Kuroko up in a princess carry.
"Ah, Ryouta, can you get my and Tetsuya's stuff?" Akashi asks.
Kise obediently fetches their things and hands them to Akashi.
"See you tomorrow. I expect no slip-ups." Akashi says stiffly and walks out of the building.
Kise grins as he walks back into the locker room, "You guys! I think it worked!"