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Naver Search: How To Tell If Your Boyfriend’s Exes are Still Into Him?

All About Your Boyfriend Forum:

The8thDracula: I just want to know how to tell if your boyfriend’s exes are still into him. It’s not that I don’t trust my boyfriend. I don’t trust his exes.

            REPLY to The8thDracula

            Somingsoo: this is a very serious question I can hear the desperation from here

            Yang87263: click on this link! It will help you figure it out 15waystotellifsomeonesbeingabitch.how.com

            theancientone: she clings to your boyfriend a lot, texts a lot, seeks attention a lot and even wears stuff he left over at her place. Oh my god I don’t want to deal with bitches like that good luck

            anpanman: sister, assert dominance! Tell them to back off your boyfriend! pee on him if you must!!

            Anotnia_lee: lol!!!!!

            The8thDracula: that’s the thing though.

            The8thDracula: nobody knows I’m his lover.

            The8thDracula: nobody should know

            horang: oh this is one of those situations

            18973jungnation: omg dude rip

SECRETLY dating Kim Mingyu, believe Minghao he’s got the first-hand experience in everything that involves it, is like licking a candy with alternating chocolate and rock layers.

Yes. Rock layers. Like actual rock-flavor. Since none of you are actually dating Mingyu to know exactly what Minghao’s onto, you just got to use your imagination. And nobody is entitled to complain about the apparent absurdity of a “rock” flavor. No. Fuck you. You don’t know anything. Shut up and sit down.

It goes like this. It’s sweet at the first lick so you keep on going, moaning with overwhelming saccharine sensation swirling around your tongue as you go at it and diving deep into the sweet pit until you reach the next layer and all that hit your tongue is this sandpaper texture that is anything but pleasant.

Common sense tells you to consider stopping because 1) it fucking hurts and it doesn’t make sense, 2) who the hell thought putting this texture in is a good idea? 3) IT’S A FLIPPING ROCK. But then you remember it’s not the core, no, not yet, so there’s got to be more of that succulent candy. You hold on to that fantasy and shove your common sense elsewhere, deciding to lick through the rock layer. Idiotically. And bare. You lick through the jagged surface, holding back tears and feeding yourself cheery pep talks about how your tongue is gonna melt through this serrated surface to taste that chocolate soon. Somewhere along, you’re gonna think to push through is stupid. You know it’s stupid but you don’t stop. No. Because deep in your mind you know things are gonna look up soon. The chocolate is coming so you blindly keep going, ignoring your last brain cell commanding common sense.

Then you reach it. The sweet, heavenly flavor thawing on your tongue and stinging pleasure deep into your taste buds and you rejoice because thank goodness you didn’t give up right? Every press of your tongue is your reward, every sliver of chocolate is a shot of fee—oh shit it’s gone within a few seconds and your tongue feels like breaking skin after a hard brush against the coarse surface.

As you idiotically go on, you realize the rock layer is far thicker than the chocolate layers. And then you start questioning your life decisions, thinking about how such a nice wrapper conceive such a pretty picture of a fucking chocolate-rock flavored candy like it’s the best thing ever since Rocky Road and how it deceived your brain into thinking it’s a good idea.

Secretly dating Mingyu feels exactly like that. “Secretly” aside, it’s all pretentious wrappers, ridiculous flavors and thicker rocky layers. It might be poor analogy, whatever, but Minghao is in one room with all of Mingyu’s exes. So his mind isn’t really at its best condition to come up with better ones, let alone to actually care.

He may be exaggerating but who the fuck cares?

MINGHAO finds himself in front of Seokmin’s apartment at 2am in the morning because when all else fails, he knows he has one more person who doesn’t hate him to lean on to. Even if he shows up half-drunk in his doorstep. But Seokmin doesn’t have to know about his little pit stop at the club. Though, Minghao is 95% sure he doesn’t mind it.

The door swings open, Seokmin popping behind it. He stops mid-yawn, blinking small tears from his eyes. “Minghao?”

The last syllable comes out breathy and Minghao catches a whiff of Seokmin’s breath. He cringes from both this and the sprouting headache at the back of his eyes. “No, it’s my portrait.”

“Hey, it is you!” Seokmin nods in delighted recognition, eyes droopy. “What is it this time?”

“Let me crash in tonight,” Minghao says. He wishes Seokmin is awake enough to at least make eye contact so he can project how desperate he is for a place to sleep tonight without actually letting it bleed through his voice. Seokmin doesn’t make eye contact but he opens the door wider, clasping a hand over his mouth. As easy as that. No more questions asked.

He almost forgets how easy it is to be around Seokmin and how easily it is for him to be one of Minghao’s most favorite people in the world.

“Sure,” he mumbles, sniffing lightly. “Chan’s over.”

“It’s fine,” Minghao says quickly, stepping inside the hazy bubble of Seokmin’s apartment. “Thanks.”

The calming humming of the heater softens Minghao’s previously tensed shoulders as he shrugs his backpack off. Seokmin’s apartment awfully smells like him, like faint plant fibers and Vitamin D, which isn’t a bad thing since it feels like being engulfed in his comforting presence all the way around. Warm, fuzzy, and smells with a hint of calming lavender. It seeps into his bones almost immediately, his eyes drooping a bit heavier than the previous minute.

“Would you like some milk?” Seokmin asks, sauntering over to the fridge. “I got some fresh milk because Chan likes milk and mom has commissioned me to take care of Chan.”

“No, thank you. I’m good. You can go back to sleep.”

“I actually have to be awake so I can get back to the work I left before I fell asleep.” Seokmin punches the air with both hands and jogs in place, a gesture of stretching. “You tired? Do you want to talk about it or do you want to sleep it off?”

Minghao shakes his head. “I think I need another ten minutes or so before bed.”

“It’s Mingyu again, right?” Seokmin asks and he’s not wrong. It is Mingyu. Again. He’s the only person in this entire world who can drive Minghao insane enough to commute on a train all the way to Seokmin’s homey apartment on the other side of town, desperate for something grounded to cling onto. They both know it so there’s no point lying. Seokmin would see through it anyway if he dared. Not that he has the energy to.

Seokmin sees through him now, he can tell from the way his eyes pore over him subtly. Seokmin is a keener observer more than he and everyone else let on.

Minghao shrugs. Now he wishes he said yes to that milk Seokmin offered.

“What did he do this time?”

“Typical Stupid Mingyu stuff.” Minghao ruffles his hair. “And I may have overreacted a bit.”

“Typical Minghao and Mingyu stuff then, I see.” Seokmin chuckles, humor twinkling in his eyes. “I have 10 minutes before work time. What happened?”

IT’S actually not so bad now that he thinks about it. But he knows how different it feels to be in the very situation with nothing like a positive small voice telling him to calm the fuck down and it’s not a big deal Minghao, shut up.

All he has clawing inside his gut were sloshing waves of rage and perhaps a pinch of panic thrown into the mix. Since he knew it’s not right to blame the four other people around this table, he focused all these pent-up rages to Mingyu.

Minghao caught that stray sweat trickling down Mingyu’s temple but he honestly couldn’t bring himself to feel sorry for him. Not after the ordeal, he has sealed themselves in along with four more people.

Not until the Four Horsemen of Apocalypse, as Minghao lovingly dubbed in his head just now. The Four Horsemen of Mingyu’s Apocalypse to be exact, is it still called apocalypse if it only promises the demise of a single person? Mingyu’s Apocalypse. Whatever. If these people don’t bring forth Mingyu’s demise, then Minghao will.

Despite his previous thoughts, Minghao was definitely not melodramatic. Oh no, sir. But if there was something he got out of dating Kim The Fucking Mingyu, it’s the awakening of his alter ego whom exactly he was trying hard to fight off right that very moment. Yes, Minghao was having a whole Bruce Banner crisis. Or Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Whichever. He was trying to fight off Code Green with Mingyu and believe him when he said, it’s not fucking easy resisting the sweet temptation to cave into the clawing urge.

Right across them, sitting around a table for six, were four more people who were the last people Minghao wanted to be in a single room with. One of them looked sorry, like genuinely sorry, and was even trying to catch Minghao’s eyes to tell him just that. One looked like he doesn’t care and just wanted this to be over with. The remaining two however had amused smirks on their lips, eyes trained on Mingyu and Minghao didn’t know what to make of that.

Minghao, Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Jeonghan, Jihoon. In one room. With Kim fucking Mingyu.

This was a fucking disaster waiting to happen.

“Well,” Soonyoung cleared his throat. “this is awkward.”

No shit, Sherlock.

“Who wants a smoothie?” Jeonghan asked, after a sweep of pleasant gaze around the group.

“Yes! Yes . . . uh, smoothie! I’ll have one,” Mingyu said, eyes shaking. Pathetically. If he was trying to hide his nervousness through forced enthusiasm, he’s an idiot. Because everyone knew he was just a few minutes away from shitting his pants. He turned to Minghao. “Bab—Hao?”

The word made the rest of them look up at him. Minghao held back the urge to rip his shirt off and turn green. For the record, he had always prided himself on his patience. With Kim Mingyu as your boyfriend, it’s surprising how frequent this skill was bound to be tested. Would it be weird to order extra hot water? Just for an idiot’s impromptu shower purposes.

“I’ll have water.” He tries to look casual but his eye probably twitched from the effort.

“One smoothie and water!”

Jeonghan turned to the rest of them. “Guys?”

“Coffee for me,” Jihoon replied.

“I’ll have the uh...” Soonyoung made a show of examining the menu board through narrowed eyes miles away from where he was sitting. “pineapple juice.”

Wonwoo held up a hand. “None for me.”

“Great. BRB guys. Mingyu, try not to die.”

Mingyu laughed nervously, and oh God, why was he dating this idiot again? Minghao was sure half of the reason was because of his dorky personality which he finds adorable in any other situation. Except now, apparently because all, he wanted to do is bash his face in.

That awkward laugh settled longer in the atmosphere above them, prompting a quick glance from Wonwoo and a restrained sputter of laughter from Soonyoung.

God. Minghao just wanted to choke Mingyu and feast on his insides. Can he play it cool at least? Pretend like this entire thing had done nothing to scrape his suave appeal? To make matters worse, Mingyu made his anxiety known to his immediate public, sliding both his hands up and down his thighs and biting his visibly shaking lips. When Minghao caught the few pleading glances his boyfriend threw him, he resigned to the idea of slamming his own head against a wall or something. Hard. Repeatedly. Until his skull cracks or the wall does. Whichever comes first.

Minghao wasn’t melodramatic.

Keyword: Was.

Now, not only did Mingyu’s romantic interference to his life made him melodramatic but also turned him into the Hulk, Hannibal Lester, and a mentally-demon-possessed man in a matter of seconds.

Minghao knew his boyfriend had his quirks. He’d accepted him, flaws and all, knowing very well how unbelievable he can be at times. He endured being kept secret, veiled to everyone around him to protect him in a sense.

Mingyu’s awfully good looks and surprising competence in the kitchen and in bed were his most outstanding redeeming qualities. But this? This was just too much. This took the cake. The icing. However, they say that in Korean. Mingyu took it. The biggest idiot out there.

Because fucking seriously, who in their right mind would invite his four exes to a meeting with his boyfriend? Minghao wasn’t sure what that makes Mingyu but he’s . . .

Mingyu found his hand under the table and squeezed it so hard his joints felt like popping. It was a warm gesture, despite the gross clammy hands and the gore he seemed to invoke more inside Minghao’s head, and no matter how much he wanted to pour the nearest mustard all over him, the pressure of Mingyu’s thumb drawing soothing circles on his hand was enough to pacify him. For a short while at least.

God, he might hate Mingyu right now but he hated himself even more for squeezing his hand back.

Mingyu didn’t die by the time Jeonghan returned with a tray of drinks and a huge cake, paired with a cute, charming smile he flashed mainly at Minghao’s direction.

“Now,” Jeonghan spoke lazily but with a glaring hint of mock, licking his lips off the smoothie he was feasting on. “you called Mingyu? You should have a good reason why you called adversary in one place.”

Mingyu cleared his throat. “I want to hire you as a production team for a short film.”

There was a brief pause as they exchanged glances between one another except Minghao whose narrowed eyes were fixed on Mingyu. Is that what this is about? The film?

“You didn’t tell me about this,” he whispered but clearly everyone else was paying enough attention to catch it.

Mingyu squeezed his hand again, jaw set. “I did, now."

“Short film?”

“A requirement for school,” Mingyu replied. “To put things in simple terms, I’m failing and I want to have the best do this with me. Star, choreographer, make-up... Everything needs to be perfect.”

Jihoon calmly raised his hand. “I can’t do make-up.”

Mingyu chuckled sheepishly. “I was hoping you can score the movie.”

“What?”

“I’ll pay!” Mingyu added hurriedly. “I can pay you guys for your service. Don’t worry.”

The four of them exchanged looks amongst themselves again. Minghao retracted his hand from his boyfriend’s hold. Mingyu gave him an anxious look but he ignored it, setting his eyes head-on at Jeonghan’s prying gaze. There was a reason why Minghao liked Jeonghan the least among Mingyu’s other exes. Not that he likes any of them too much. Like is such a strong word. More like he tolerated them. Plus until now, they weren’t around so much to raise his concerns about them and their involvement with Mingyu. Minghao usually didn’t care or tried not to. But looking at the four of them across him, it’s hard not to feel himself shrink in comparison. Lee Jihoon, a rising legend of the music department. Respected for his genius contribution to the indie music industry as a rookie producer despite being only a senior in college. Kwon Soonyoung is not too far off behind Jihoon, who also shares the same level of popularity on and off-campus as a choreographer. Jeon Wonwoo and Yoon Jeonghan are both two of the best actors in their university. Being next to them felt like being next to rising celebrities and their shine is bound to cast you aside like light to shadows. It felt worse now that Mingyu had reached out for their help without him knowing when they should be making decisions like this together. He didn’t even think of consulting him first, ask him how will he feel if they’ll drag in his highly relevant exes into their joint biggest project together.

It just didn’t seem fucking fair.

A nasty mix of jealousy and insecurity settled in his stomach, poisoning his better judgment. Fueling everything else into a silent, raging furnace.

The fact that he doesn’t supposedly exist to them as Mingyu’s significant other makes this even worse.

“HUH.” Seokmin blinks. “It makes sense.”

“What does?”

“That Mingyu will ask for help from them. I mean, they’ve known one another, maybe a little too intimately in the past but it does make sense he’ll ask help from them besides the fact that they’re awesome, talented people and that they are capable of helping you out.”

Minghao feels his blood boil. “So you think it’s okay?”

“Not my point.” Seokmin holds both hands up. "Stupid Mingyu. What an idiot."

Minghao sighs. “Yes, I’m aware of the basis of his choice I’m not stupid. But it’s not just about it.”

Seokmin frowns at him. “What happened next? You went into Hulk mode?”

“No, not really. Not in front of them.” Minghao sighs. “But I might have been a little too hard on Mingyu.”

Pride might’ve been essentially the problem, this time. And in any other squabble, the couple finds themselves into, in retrospect. Too much on Minghao, no less on Mingyu’s end. Two clashing forces that don’t sit well with the idea of losing an argument of who is right and who is wrong. Wall of pride too high to admit when they actually are, and too drunk on it not to rub it too much into the other’s face. The argument that typically followed was nothing short on both, with no amount of leeway that inclined to a lot of vent-out angry sex. The topic was far too sensitive to be resolved in a relatively easy way. Minghao wouldn’t even want to be around Mingyu’s solar system right now, let alone breathe in his direction.

Minghao can be petty in many, many ways. But this time, it’s not only the pride talking. Mingyu had messed up big time.

“Do you already regret it?”

Minghao sniffs indignantly. “You act like you don’t know me. Just because I acknowledge something I’ve done doesn’t mean I regret it.”

“Just making sure.” Seokmin grins, jumping up from his seat. “You’re welcome to stay here for as long as you like. Not that I encourage love quarrels nor do I tolerate you running off but let’s just say this conversation never happened and I am on no one’s side because you rejected my milk and told me you just wanted to sleep. Excuse me, I have to be somewhere else and be productive!” He finishes off with a wink before sauntering off to the living room whistling a bouncy tune.

Minghao loves Seokmin so much, has he mentioned that?

Jihoon’s eyes fluttered the slightest bit to Minghao’s direction. “Your co-director doesn’t seem too happy about this.”

No, shit.

Minghao ignored the pleading look Mingyu sent his direction.

“Maybe you should have thought this through first, Gyu,” the silent Wonwoo finally spoke up, clearly as aware as everyone else on this table of the tension weighing heavier by the minute. “Worked out the kinks before calling us in.”

“I already signed us in,” said Mingyu.

Soonyoung frowned. “You, what?”

“It’s not just some kind of project is it?” Jihoon asked. “You signed us up for the film fest.”

Mingyu sighed. “Yes.”

Soonyoung regarded Minghao while pointing at Mingyu. “And he did not go over this to you?”

“Look, we were going to talk about it.”

“Really.” Jihoon snapped.

“You’re the best team I can think of.” Mingyu didn’t even dare look at him again. “Both our final grades are riding on this film fest. I might’ve jeopardized Minghao’s with mine and if we don’t do well together on this one, we’ll both flunk. Going over it with Minghao first... might not have been the best idea.”

Minghao scoffed. Soonyoung squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. Jihoon looked like he wanted to clobber something to dust, probably someone specifically named Mingyu. Jeonghan was still smiling yet steely cold this time...

“Yeah, so you went with the worst?” Wonwoo interjected.

“I went with what I think—”

“—Is a chokehold. A checkmate.” Jihoon leaned in, seething. “Do you have any idea what you just did here?”

“Jihoonie.” Jeonghan placed a hand on the smaller’s arm, smiling gently. He looked at Mingyu with the previous brand of his smile. “I think it’s a no from us, Mingyu.”

“But—”

“What did you expect?” Jeonghan asked. Was it possible for a smile to grow colder to bring forth chill down spines? “Say yes? Can you be that dense?”

The four left one by one muttering excuses under their breaths and out the cool September afternoon, leaving the two of them to suffocate in the air around them.

Minghao waited for the right words to come out of his boyfriend’s mouth but he should’ve known in the first fragile moments of downfall, they irritatingly resemble each other very much. Their shared instincts send them scrambling for purchase on anything to save themselves from falling from the height of their pride. Anything at all.

Remember the thing about rash changes between the rock and the sweet flavor in comparison with good old Mingyu? It couldn’t get any accurate than that.

Coldly, as if he weren’t about to get on his knees begging for Minghao’s forgiveness just a few minutes ago, Mingyu mustered a low “They’re just my exes, Minghao. Just... very talented.”

Wrong words, fucker.

But in retrospect, nah, he totally deserved that punch.

THE temptation to get rid of the script for the short film has flirted with Minghao a couple of times in the darkest points of this row, shut off only by the imperative deadline they have to meet in only a couple of months with half of his final grade hanging off the wire. That much had stopped him from entertaining the idea of pissing Mingyu off further by deleting a month’s work worth of outlining and revision. It was one of Mingyu’s greatest mistakes too: not producing another copy of the script from Minghao’s laptop where they took turns carefully planning everything.

It’s fairly easy to do, just one click could end everything for Mingyu. Just one click, even if it means falling off the cliff and dragging his own grades with him. Sadly, Minghao isn’t as demonic and heartless as he appears so instead he spends the next few days polishing everything down to the slightest detail and readdressing the energy meant to beat Mingyu up to the perfection of the script. It worked well to his advantage, thank goodness, as he finds his fury simmer down to cold ire instead. Most of the time, he finds himself confronted with the intimidating concept of dealing with the four innocent people unfortunately involved in this dispute. They’re not at fault in any way, it’s just... can you blame Minghao for his inability to wrap his head around the fact that these amazing people once dated Mingyu at one point in their lives, serious or otherwise? And on top of that is the fact that these said relationships had harbored a certain level of popularity during their occurrences, thanks to Mingyu’s infamous campus reputation akin to a small town celebrity where the local people just can’t take their eyes off and couldn’t resist making his private life their business just because the guy has perfect killer looks and history as the university’s previous varsity captain.

In hindsight to this circumstance, it had been the root of his relationship problems. Despite having decided basketball isn’t his life anymore, some groupies had decided to linger. These people are the exact reason why they both decided it may be best to keep their relationship a secret to the public except for a few trusted people.

Said groupies had been on the lookout for the next scoop to feast on, the next target to turn their relentless eyes to with the declaration of standards to par with Mingyu’s past affairs. As if he’s the Prince in that little campus.

Their opinions don’t matter. Minghao hardly ever cared about those. At least, tried not to.

Until recently, the comparison had struck him in the face for the first time that fateful afternoon. How those talks had a ground for their existence and how they made a few points even Minghao couldn’t shrug off. How they finally make sense to him and how it significantly got harder to look past them. It ate him inside and out, much more than he had thought it would, and for the past few days, it has been chipping away at his ego, crumb by crumb, chewing off from the most vulnerable piece of him down to the tougher parts.

Then he begins to question things he shouldn’t. But he always manages to stop right at the edge of it.

It was a toxic mindset, kept at bay only at times when Seokmin’s schedule allows him to grace his grumpy existence with his sunny temperament. The jokes he cracks acted like a temporary diversion from the poison that was slowly seeping into his brain and held it in place for an extended amount of time as long as Minghao’s thoughts remained astray. Coming to Seokmin’s was proved to be Minghao’s best move. At least he’s still himself around him, and not some unreasonably jealous boyfriend who questions his worth to his lover.

MINGYU reappears in front of Seokmin’s apartment a few days after, holding a stupid bouquet of stupid flowers Minghao doesn’t even give a fuck about. His eye still looks slightly swollen from the time Minghao punched him, and he wonders if the giant manchild had even thought of putting an ice pack against it for a period of time, long enough to—okay hold it, you’re mad, Minghao.

“I’d appreciate it more if you eat that in front of me.” Minghao deadpans, shutting the door in his face. Mingyu steps in before it closed all the way, slotting a foot in between.

“Hao, please just hear me ou—OUCH! Ow! Ow! Don’t... push... the door! My foot! OW!”

Minghao heaves harder pressing against the door, urging a louder scream from Mingyu due to the increased pressure against his foot. “Take it away then or I’ll have it as a trophy!”

“You... wouldn’t!” Mingyu groans from the strain of pushing on the opposite side of the door to keep the pressure off his foot. “Ow! Ahhhh!”

“Fucking... try me... asshole!”

With all the strength his arms can muster, he gives the door a last strong push before letting go completely and jumping out of the way just in time before Mingyu barrels in, all sheer unreciprocated power and shock, swinging the door almost out of its hinges. Mingyu lands face first on the floor with a loud THUD, the arrangement in his hand exploding in a flutter of petals and leaves from where it fell.

It’s a good thing Seokmin and his cousin Chan, who was staying in with him until the semester ends, walked out early to attend to their respective class schedules. Minghao’s don’t start until after lunch so he volunteered to look out for the place while doing minimal chores like wiping and sweeping just to pass the time. He’s actually just finished off with the floor now it’s petal and leaf-stained. Fucking perfect.

Minghao shoots a sharp breath up his bangs smugly, looking down at his groaning boyfriend.  “Thoughtful of you to crash.”

Mingyu’s groan is muffled against the floor. “I just wanted to talk.”

“You can talk without getting up.”

“Please.”

Minghao holds himself back from proving just how capable he is of doing so by pinning him down onto the floor with his foot on his back. But he had aired off some of the petty in the last few days just enough for some of his rational reasoning to start taking over his animalistic instinct so he concedes and retreats to the nearest chair instead, leaning against the headrest. “Start talking.”

Mingyu looks up slowly, unmindful of the crimson red tinge of his nose, that must’ve hurt a lot from where he hit the floor and gets up without breaking eye contact. “I love you.”

His sheer height towers over Minghao more now that he is seated which doubles his words’ overwhelming weight. Large doe eyes, pink lips pressed tight, deep brown eyes. Mingyu. Mingyu in flesh after a few days. It’s amazing how previous hostile thoughts of such levels can accidentally give way to more intimate thoughts as the fog of red clears and all that remains is the overwhelming desire to suck his face off.

Mingyu is a thickheaded, impulsive idiot. It is a fact and burden that Minghao is forced to bear yet he is the gorgeous idiot whom Minghao is in love with despite being all that and more. He’s still mad, make no mistake. But the man had stepped forward with an unexpected tactic to drill a hole through Minghao’s iron wall and the first three words he uttered blasted a huge one right in the heart of it.

“That’s supposed to redeem you?” Minghao manages a sufficiently cold tone to mask his already weakening front.

“I wanted you to trust me.”

“You’ve done a good job at that by not telling me you’ve contacted your exes to help us out with our movie. Very good job. Trust earned, 100%.”

Mingyu flinches. “I should’ve told you first but I was afraid you’d... act out.”

He scoffs. “So, it’s my fault now?”

“I didn’t say that,” the taller mutters under his breath, licking his lips. “I considered how you’d react. It’s not easy having to deal with four of my exes at once. And... well. I thought... since you didn’t want to talk about them before—”

“I didn’t.” Minghao punctuates. “Who wants to know details about your past with other people? Not me.”

Mingyu exhales, looking like he wants to say more, probably to prove how much Minghao is wrong for not wanting to know about his history with other people but decides against it, licking his swiftly drying lips again. “This is different. This isn’t for nothing.”

“Exactly. It’s not for nothing. Didn’t it ever occur to you things might’ve been a lot easier if only you’ve been honest with me right from the start?” Minghao sighs, pinching the nose of his bridge. “I’m not some teenager who can’t detach personal issues from my own work. I’ll still need to deal with your exes either way, wouldn’t I?” Unfortunately. “So why didn’t you just tell me?”

Mingyu remains standing there, twiddling his thumbs like a giant ass boy caught red-handed in the scene of a broken vase crime.

“On top of that, you forcefully dragged in unwilling people with you.”

“I was confident they’d agree. And you’d go along with it.”

“Your first mistake.”

Mingyu nods slowly.

“You don’t go around making decisions for people, you fucktard. You made me unnecessarily upset. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I have nothing to say to defend myself,” Mingyu replies in a soft voice, grim yet genuine admittance laces his features. “I was never right in any of this. I was wrong for asking you to trust me when I have distrusted you myself. I was wrong to assume you’d go with it without your consent. I was wrong to drag people in before getting their approval. I was wrong to think that far up ahead and every step I’ve made after was a mistake. I’m not here to defend myself, I am here to acknowledge that I am wrong and to apologize.”

It’d be much easier to counter this if he weren’t so... sincere about all of this. And if Minghao weren’t so weak in the face of sincere reconciliation. Silence hangs overhead between the two of them, staring at Minghao in the face as it waits for him to break it. He sighs, partly because he’s also not one for long, awkward silences and any longer would’ve only be extra torturous for the both of them.

Minghao jumps up from his seat. “What’s done is done. We’ve only got four months until the fest so we better get our asses working if we don’t want to fail.”

Mingyu perks up, sucking his lips in. “Really?”

“No, I was kidding. I deleted the script.”

Mingyu pales. “What—”

“I’m kidding.” Minghao’s lips twitch. “Got you.”

Mingyu lets out a deep sigh of relief. “It’s because I know you will.”

“Glad to know you know me so well.” Minghao grins. “Let’s just get this over with and not fail.”

“Does that mean... I can hug you now?”

“No.”

Mingyu bounds straight to him like a puppy and with a wide, goofy smile, he slowly inches in to engulf Minghao into his arms, squeezing his delicate limbs as if savoring the touch.

“I clearly said no.”

Minghao couldn’t catch his giggles fast enough when warm lips start planting kisses all over the side of his jaw. Mingyu whispers a low, “Didn’t hear you.”

The enthusiastic kisses they share make up for the days they’ve been apart from and deprived of each other. Making up is always the best part of every quarrel, Minghao can vouch for that. Kisses are extra sweeter, hugs extra warm and Mingyu extra closer to him that their skin almost feels one and the same. His boyfriend in his arms, his musk in his nose. Mingyu’s hands running up and down his back in fond strokes.

“I really love you, you know,” Mingyu says, all of a sudden, his hands squeezing Minghao’s. “I hope you don’t ever forget that.”

Minghao just melts right there and then because as much as he hates to admit it, those are the exact words he needed right now. Right after late nights on end staying wide awake bearing the nasty whispers to his ears. After all the internal tumult. After all the wave after wave of self-pity and insecurities. Every ember dissolves to warmth and fuzz inside his chest, sizzling with the brand new sense of security. That he is loved. And this man inside his arms loves him. He closes his eyes and nods. “I think I have to apologize for punching you.”

“You throw a mean punch.”

“I know that’s why I did it.”

Mingyu kisses his knuckles. Minghao just wants to spend his night with him later.

“But we still need to woo the four of them though,” the taller reminds, cutting the romantic air short. “We’re still signed up for the film fest and our grades are still at stake here.”

Ah, of course. Onto the hard part.

Minghao frowns at him. “This is why I don’t trust you with building up the mood. You have shitty timing.”

Mingyu laughs and kisses the air out of him once again.

EX number one: Kwon Soonyoung, Kim Mingyu’s first “boyfriend” for formalities’ sake. Nothing serious. They only dated for a month after Soonyoung said something about finding Mingyu the most attractive man on campus and because Mingyu had always gotten off on unusually attractive off-handed comments about his sexiness, they hit it off quickly back in sophomore year high school. But Mingyu had repeatedly made it clear that was all there was to it.

Minghao had always thought it was very Mingyu of him to do that, date someone after being told they find him attractive.

What happened between Mingyu and Soonyoung had been a part of the distant past. Minghao had personally seen Soonyoung around in dance competitions in and out of the district and probably on national TV once. He heard fleeting rumors about him frequenting Hongdae and dancing on the streets for fun and earning the reputation of being one of the best there is of his level in all terms of dance.

Yup, he always knew Soonyoung looked the least intimidating out of the bunch. Minghao might’ve found him likable if only he doesn’t breakdance better than him.

“I was a kid and he knew a lot about Physics then,” Mingyu says that afternoon, shrugging and sitting on one of Seokmin’s colorful bean bags. “It was a fair give and take relationship.”

Seokmin snorts, shuffling research papers in his hand on the floor. “Sophomore year was Soonyoung’s biggest regret. If he only knew he would be dating a celebrity, he would’ve just bitten his tongue that day.”

Mingyu grins. “People just can’t help themselves.”

Minghao rolls his eyes and turns to Seokmin. “How did you know about that? You talk to Soonyoung sometimes?”

“Hmm, a lot of times, actually. Soonyoung is my boyfriend,” Seokmin comments, sipping on his coffee. “So you don’t have to worry about him so much.”

Minghao’s jaw drops. Okay, he didn’t see that one coming.

“Yeah,” Seokmin drawls after he catches Minghao’s reaction with his shifty eyes. “I probably shouldn’t have dated my best friend’s ex, should I?”

“Yes,” Mingyu says, looking unfazed. “you probably shouldn’t.”

Minghao blinks again. “Wait, when was this?”

“Just two weeks ago. I was planning to tell you but you had a little feud coincidentally involving him too so I thought I’d put it off.” Seokmin spreads his arms. “He came up in the conversation so...”

“Mingyu knew about this?”

“He asked my permission, actually,” Mingyu replies. “Which was very nice of him.”

“Of course.” Seokmin dips his head a little.

Minghao gapes. “Soonyoung was okay with... this?”

“There wasn’t much to be upset about over his and Mingyu’s breakup. It was only just a month-long after all and it was purely superficial, nothing too special.”

Mingyu gives him a look. Seokmin clears his throat as he scampers off to his kitchen. “I quote Soonyoung.”

“Soonyoung is the most chill out of everyone. It shouldn’t be hard to convince him to join us.” Mingyu notes, still looking somewhat offended at the last statement Seokmin said.

“Okay, how exactly are we going to do that?”

“How about a double date?” Seokmin stills, realization sinking into him. “Oh right... you guys aren’t supposed to be... okay.”

Minghao turns to Mingyu and gives him a look that the latter has no problems deciphering. He clears his throat, leaning slightly forward and secures an official expression on his face. “I can talk to them alone if you like. If you don’t feel comfortable, I can just—”

“There’s no point letting you do all the work alone, I still have to face them one way or another.”

Mingyu scans his face for any crack, anything that’ll give him away to a lie. He clasps his hand when he can’t find any because there’s nothing to find. He told the truth. He doesn’t mind being civil to them, but that doesn’t necessarily mean Minghao likes them. For now. It’s too early to say anything for sure, anyways. Minghao might’ve gotten himself stranded on the wrong ground but that also doesn’t mean it’s not capable of any change after a few chats and a few months working with Mingyu’s exes. Maybe they’d turn out to be not so bad after all. Maybe, in the case of amity, Minghao would learn to see past the thoughts that cloud his mind to give way to more healthy judgment. He could really use some at the moment.

“Okay,” Mingyu says after some time. “Maybe we can split up the load and approach them simultaneously. You can take Wonwoo and I’ll take Jihoon and Jeonghan.”

Minghao takes a sip of his own coffee, brows furrowing. “Why?”

“Because Jihoon and Jeonghan can be a little bit difficult to deal with. I’ll handle them.”

“Yeah, right, because that worked wondrously the last time you tried.”

“I’ll make sure to apologize to them,” Mingyu replies. “I’ll promise I’ll take better care of you from now on.”

Minghao falters because it isn’t an argument he had expected and it catches him completely by surprise, allowing himself a moment’s weakness by clearing his throat and curling his lip ever so slightly up. “Well, if you must.”

“Wonwoo is the tamest among the four of them, the most sensible one. He likes coffee at the same unhealthy level as yours so I’m sure you guys will get along just fine.”

Minghao stops mid-sip and sneers at him. Mingyu laughs.

“Tamest?”

Mingyu points at him. “Most sensible.”

“Jihoon looked pretty sensible to me,” Minghao comments, remembering the fact that Jihoon was a bit explosive that day at the café when Mingyu revealed signing them up without their consent.

“Jihoon is a bit unpredictable. You never know his mood. You can only keep guessing. He likes that too, he likes to keep people guessing.” Mingyu shrugs. “He’s not the most friendly man in the universe.”

It strikes a chord somewhere in Minghao and it ripples through him again how intimate the bonds these people had shared with Mingyu. He talks about them as if they’re courses he had taken on for years like he knows them like the back of his hand but he couldn’t care less. The knowledge is there, the intimacy between them was once there but it’s existence had been reduced to just the state of there. Like an imprint of the past. It makes Minghao realize that even though he wanted it to cease to exist, his interference in Mingyu’s life can never expunge those parts of his history.

Then, it hits Minghao how possessive he can be, in his own petty way. He wonders if these people can say the same about Mingyu. If they too, can tell him his boyfriend’s manner, preferences, likes and dislikes, and personality in depth so expertly and smoothly as Mingyu did. Just how much they know about Mingyu and if it’s more than what Minghao knows about him.

“But I can safely assume,” Minghao clears his throat. “that you love every single one of them?”

Mingyu looks at him. “Loved.”

The sound of the doorbell slices through the air in segmented ding dongs followed by the sound of the door opening and Seokmin’s gleeful greeting. Seconds later, Soonyoung marches into the sitting room and freezes as soon as his gaze falls on them. “Oh. It’s a bad time.”

“No, no it’s okay! I thought it’s perfect timing! We were just talking about you!” Seokmin says and passes a wink to Mingyu and Minghao’s direction. “Let me just finish up over here. I’ll bring the snacks in.”

For a moment, Minghao is afraid Soonyoung might make a u-turn and walk out of the apartment but instead he shrugs, mostly to himself and plops down onto another bean bag opposite to Minghao. “Hey.”

The couple exchanges glances, then Mingyu says, “Hey.”

“I see you guys already worked things out. Or am I just imagining the love pheromones in the air?”

“No, we worked things out. But we’re not... we’re not dating,” Mingyu answers and clears his throat, nodding at Minghao for confirmation. Minghao nods back.

“Oh, good!” Soonyoung leans back against the chair and grins at Minghao. “Mingyu not an asshole to you anymore?”

“Not if I’m an asshole to him first.”

 Soonyoung laughs. “I still can’t help you guys though.”

“Why not?” asks Minghao.

“Well, what exactly am I going to do though? I can’t do make-up either.”

“We need a choreographer,” replies Mingyu. “We’re doing a musical.”

Soonyoung nods slowly as if the idea just occurred to him now. It probably just did. “Okay, now that makes sense. Hiring me and Jihoon.”

“We planned to go all-out and what better way to exhibit your talents than a musical.” Minghao supplies.

“Hmm.” Soonyoung tangles both of his hands together and bob his head, running his eyes slowly over Minghao. He tries not to squirm under his gaze. “Well, in that case, count me in. I’m always up for a challenge. Always wanted to choreograph a musical!”

The cheeky smile he sends over to Minghao might’ve meant something more than plain excitement for choreography though.

“Hey Gyu!” Seokmin calls from the kitchen. “Can you help me with this for a second?”

Mingyu shoots up from his seat and saunters over in long strides. “Are you trying to cook dumplings again? You know you suck at those!”

“I can’t not try!”

As soon as Mingyu’s steps fade out, Soonyoung leans in demonstratively. “I’ll let you know Mingyu was once a huge prude in high school.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Soonyoung grins. “As far as I know. It was just one month though. I didn’t really care then. Maybe I should’ve so I don’t end up dating him. You’ll be surprised how rumors can rise from the grave and haunt you even after all these years.”

Minghao tries not to squirm in his seat. “You got associated with him a lot?”

“Oh yeah, a lot. Along with a whole lot of others,” says Soonyoung and narrows his eyes at him. “But you heard it from me, okay? He’s a huge prude with me.”

“Not sure what for but okay,” Minghao replies, a little bit uncertain what to make of this conversation.

Soonyoung lips twitch. “He’s an okay friend though but we didn’t keep much contact until college.”

It’s a little awkward, so to speak, to be talking about what Mingyu had been to Soonyoung. But for some reason, Minghao can tell it’s something he needed. Something he needed to come to terms with. The fact that he’s not the Mingyu’s only lover and that fact is not about to change no matter how many tantrums he throws.

“We’re not gonna bite you know,” Soonyoung says, eyes piercing through him as if his thoughts are laid out to him like a map to read. “We’re just his exes. Nothing more.”

Minghao nods, cocking his head to the side trying to look as blasé as he can. “Right. But I’m not his boyfriend. It’s not like I care.”

“But let’s just say if you were,” Soonyoung prods. “Would you care then?”

“If I were his boyfriend, yeah maybe,” Minghao answers. “But since you said nothing more. That’s a relief because dance is not the only thing I can break.”

Soonyoung stares at him for a second too long before he bursts out into laughter, curling in his seat and wheezing. “Sweetcakes, I like you.”

The declaration hangs in the air as Mingyu’s head pops in the sitting room and calls for their attention to some mid-afternoon snacks. He gives Minghao a questioning look and Minghao returns it, shrugging as he saunters behind Soonyoung who’s still wheezing as they enter the kitchen. Soonyoung gives Minghao a last look of amusement before clinging to Seokmin and giving him neck kisses.

MINGHAO holds two cups of coffee solemnly as he sits at the bleachers, scanning the enthusiastic crowd below for one particular combination of fox eyes behind glasses and raven hair. The lukewarm heat seeping through both his hands constantly reminds him how much of an idiot he had been for purchasing two coffees when he should’ve just invited him out for coffee and sit there with the beverages at a pleasurable temperature to be enjoyed by the two people who both appreciate warm coffees. Maybe Minghao wasn’t thinking. Maybe Minghao wanted it to be over with as quickly as he can manage.

Unlike Soonyoung who had very little emotional connection with Mingyu, he’s looking for probably the most popular lover of his boyfriend. The relationship had lasted for 1 year and 3 months, and in that time, it had become quite a prominent relationship for the entirety of the campus. The campus “It” couple. The basketball captain and genius up-and-coming theater actor. The paparazzi had taken it to the extremes: it’s not Mingyu without Wonwoo and it’s not Wonwoo without Mingyu and all that pizzazz. Like a small town buffet table where everyone can feast on every little thing that happens between the two of them. Forums and fan groups were put up, private photos were leaked, and the locals flocked their social media with a variety of “Meanie forever!” agenda.

(Oh yeah, Minghao remembered the Meanie agenda that dominated the university’s underground website and his very own social media. It was a very effective Minghao-repellant for a while.)

When the “campus sweethearts” had put an end to the relationship, it had an ridiculous huge and annoying backlash from the community going as far as to scattering petitions for the two to get back together. It was a weird predicament. Also who calls themselves “meanie beanies” as fans of two guys in a relationship?  

Mingyu had been truthful enough about it to tell him it’s one of the reasons why things hadn’t worked out for the best between Wonwoo and him and that it ended in a slightly bitter note. Minghao couldn’t argue with that. That’s why he had agreed to keep their relationship private, to prevent those exact things from happening to them. He’s not sure he can handle a fandom based on their relationship and people calling themselves weird names.

After the football game, Minghao finds Wonwoo laughing with a taller guy on the way out of the field and he wastes no time to confront him.

“Wonwoo, right? We’ve met before,” Minghao starts and nods at the guy next to Wonwoo.

“Yeah, we did,” Wonwoo replies and turns to his company. “Jun, you can go ahead. I’ll catch up in an hour.”

“Cool. See ya.”

“I’m so sorry to interrupt,” Minghao says after the guy has gone, the irritation from the sheer lack of heat in his hand, fuelling the intensity of his voice. “I just needed to talk to you. Is that okay?”

“I was expecting you, to be honest,” Wonwoo replies, smiling. “Let’s go to the quad. I don’t have much time though, I have to be somewhere else after this. Is that coffee for me?”

Minghao holds out one for him. “I’m sorry it’s not the way you like it. Mingyu told me you love espresso but—”

“I don’t mind. Thank you. Coffee is still coffee even if it’s cold.” Wonwoo smiles and takes a sip of the coffee. “Shall we?”

They settle on the nearest venue, a bench on the quad before the university’s mascot statue with the fountain at its feet.

“I have come to hire you to act in our musical,” Minghao says. “If you will. You don’t have to do the auditions since... yeah.”

Wonwoo smiles at him. “I understand Mingyu can be very difficult when he doesn’t try. I feel compelled to apologize on his behalf.”

And, he completely changed the subject. Minghao decides to go along, shrugging. “He’s worked things out, no problem. He’s a big idiot most of the time and I have to clean up after him.”

“I agree.”

“We need your help and we will give you incentives accordingly. I’ll ensure that.”

“You must know this isn’t about the incentives, Minghao,” Wonwoo says then looks at him. “We all know this isn’t entirely about Mingyu being an impulsive idiot either.”

Minghao lets the thought seep in, nodding once the idea settles in his brain before sighing. What is he supposed to say, Sorry you guys were his exes? “I’ll keep him in check.” 

“I’m not talking about myself and the others. I’m talking about you,” Wonwoo says. “Are you ready to work with us?”

It’s a recurring question Minghao asks himself and even until now he finds it hard to wrestle the most desirable answer to that. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

The smirk is fleeting but Minghao catches it before it disappears from his face. “Mingyu could’ve easily chosen some other people in our place. Yet he didn’t. It’s because he knows what we can do and he trusts us because of it. With or without your consent for something you’re supposed to be doing together. I see you’re okay with that now.”

Minghao bites his tongue. “We sorted things out so you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“Right.” Wonwoo chuckles. “So do I get to lead?”

“Of course.”

“With Jeonghan, I presume.”

“Yeah,” Minghao replies. “We can go over the details as soon as everybody is on board.”

Wonwoo starts laughing as if he had just heard a really funny joke.

“What?” Minghao asks.

“Nothing. It’s just Mingyu has really great taste in people and... romantic interests.” Wonwoo pats him on the shoulder. “They’re usually the best people there is.”

Minghao shrugs and tries to look like he hasn’t got any idea what that is about because he has to in order not to give himself away. He feels his palm sweat at the realization that he has every right to be nervous around Wonwoo, his knife-like eyes, and easy smile.

“Okay. I’ll do it,” Wonwoo says finally.

He perks up. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Wonwoo stands up and digs his hands into his pockets, pulling out a piece of paper. “Text me the details. Or e-mail. Or call. I look forward to working with you, Number 5.”

“Number 5?”

Wonwoo walks away, waving his hand.

THEY spend the rest of the week pouring over the script one last time for revisions. The entire plot is about college students in love with the theme of coming to terms with both their feelings and sexuality. It was a standard plot, peppered with comedy and light-hearted themes in contrast to the usual heavy drama surrounding the issue. Minghao wanted to show a different approach to the classic so he spearheaded the scriptwriting and left the rest of the work to the small staff they had managed to put together.

Mingyu had managed to drag Jeonghan and Jihoon into this without acquiring any new bruises despite Seokmin’s prediction of at least three from the meet-ups. Both of them took quite a beating from Jihoon for pulling him in on the last minute for a musical that takes a lot of months of prep work before charging into production but Mingyu had been unexpectedly ready with pieces beforehand, sliding them across the table to Jihoon.

“You already had the songs down?” Minghao asks in surprise, riffling through pages of lyrics and scores.

Mingyu shrugs. “It’s a hobby. I had help from Vernon and Seungcheol though. Remember them from the club?”

Vernon and Seungcheol are friends of Mingyu’s from high school and the supposed members of a band that was never to be. They wrote lyrics and songs in their free time but never really took their passion to another level and decide the hobby as something they want to remain as it is: a hobby.

By Monday, the scripts were handed out and the timeline of the filming had been set up and disseminated to everyone. Minghao finds himself shuffling uncomfortably in the first meeting with the cast and the crew, completely lost despite standing next to Mingyu in front of everyone. He managed to look unattached throughout the entire time by shoving his unnecessary anxiety down his stomach where it belonged. Imaginary chains cast him down into a motionless dummy, worried that by breathing in Mingyu’s direction and staring at him would give them both away. Who knows what those fox eyes of Wonwoo’s can pick up from a few seconds of eye contact?

The first day went on fine with both Wonwoo and Jeonghan living up to their expectations in Jihoon’s studio. He knows Jeonghan can sing by his Soundcloud account and his few covers with a music student from school, Joshua. It was a surprise though how ridiculously easy it was for him to achieve Jihoon’s demanding standards right off the bat, taking in instructions from the producer very well and delivering just as he’s told.

Wonwoo also further exceeds his expectations by proving there’s not a thing he can’t do, not even behind a mic. And that there’s so much more his husky voice has to offer other than just delivering strong lines onstage.

By the time the both of them step out of the recording studio groaning for some food, Minghao finds himself sinking lower than he had been before and wonders what exactly did Mingyu find desirable in him.

But he can deal with this, can’t he? After all, he did assure Mingyu he’ll sort out this internal debate on his own. At least this is the only problem he has to deal with, right?

Oh boy, is he wrong.

Naver Search: Help on Boyfriend Problems

All About Your Boyfriend Forum:

The8thDracula: Is it called “insecurity” when you compare yourself to your boyfriend’s attractive, talented and competent exes?

REPLY to The8thDracula

            Haneul221: it is hon

            Taigatiger: duh

            Najaemin: omg don’t compare yourself to ur lover’s exes! ur beautiful and valid and u deserve to be loved!! <3

            Thelittleprince91: try not to look at them? Ur the lover now aren’t u?

            The8thDracula: it’s kind of hard not to look at them when I literally see them everyday because of work

            Taigatiger: lmao are u a masochist what is wrong w/ u

            The8thDracula: it’s for work

            anpanman: are u the same user who said u and ur bf are supposed to be secret

            genevaforeva: oh like in the closet?

            The8thDracula: we’re not in the closet, sexuality-wise. we’re just not ready to come out to the world and tell them we’re dating bc of reasons

            Taigatiger: and u chose to hang out with ur boyfriend’s exes?

            The8thDracula: I wouldn’t if I could. I couldn’t.

            18973jungnation: omg tough luck dude

“HOW’S shooting so far?” Seokmin asks, plopping down Minghao’s sofa while munching on a banana with squiggles on the peel that vaguely reads “Seokmin’s banana”. He decides not to ask.

Minghao shifts in his seat and closes his laptop. “Fine. We’re doing great for the short notice."

“The exes don’t bother you so far?”

“Define bother,” Minghao says. “Define bother in the context of them supposedly not having any idea I’m dating Mingyu and therefore having no idea I’m rotting in one corner while I watch them interact, bordering on being flirtatious.”

“Oh my god,” Seokmin exclaims, hand over his mouth. “No.”

“Yeah, no, not really but you get it.”

IT’S not Mingyu’s fault entirely. Minghao just failed to consider maybe Mingyu and his exes were a bit more chummy than he had anticipated them to be after their respective breakups. He definitely wasn’t prepared for the number of interactions each shooting could mean and that he had to take a front-row seat in each of them with metaphorical chains strapped over his body because he can’t do anything about it in public even if his very instinct urges him to fly over to them and drag Mingyu away from all of them.

What makes him feel worse about himself is that he’s thinking of all these things from completely innocent contact that even Mingyu and the others might not have noticed themselves. It’s the gentle ease of them that crushes Minghao and shoves his jealousy down his throat for tainting them with malicious thoughts, paving the way for another batch of bitter guilt rising up from his stomach.

Soonyoung jokes around Mingyu a lot and clings on his back. Mingyu seems to be more fond of him than he was in Seokmin’s apartment a few weeks before and apparently thinks Soonyoung is the cutest human being he has ever seen judging from the way he’s enjoying pinching his cheeks. Wonwoo seems to know Mingyu a lot more than Minghao does, judging from how he correctly states his favorite food when they ordered food one time, down to his allergies and dislikes (He had stated it in front of their crew as if it’s common knowledge everyone should know about). There was one time he found Mingyu with Jihoon at one corner during a break, sitting side by side and just talking. Mingyu tells him a joke and Jihoon laughs with his crescent eyes and Minghao swore he never saw Jihoon laugh like that before, not with anyone else. It looked like one of those kinds of laughs that only one specific person can squeeze out of you and it looked so intimate from an outside point of view that Minghao had to look away, his jaw clenched.

It’s the little dear things that throws Minghao off his game but he tries his hardest to shrug them off whenever the camera starts rolling. Right now, he’s not supposed to be worrying about his boyfriend and his exes. He’s supposed to be getting to work and working his ass off to make this movie a huge success and not make his brutal suffering all for nothing.

If he’s hurting now, he might as well make it count and keep it all to himself while he still can.

Jeonghan walks up to him one time, ever the conversationalist, with his sassy hand gestures and cool attitude. “So you guys aren’t...” His hands flutter in more sassy and vague hand gestures, eyes running to and fro between him and Mingyu.

Minghao puts up a convincing confused face. “We guys...?”

“You and Mingyu.”

“Me and Mingyu.”

“Aren’t...” More hand gestures, then a sweet smile. “You know what I’m talking about.”

“I actually don’t.”

“Banging.” Jeonghan laughs out loud at his own equally loud emphasis, chin-length dark hair bristling. “Can’t believe you made me say it. Wow.”

For the record, Jeonghan looks like someone who doesn’t remotely find it hard to throw that word around.

Minghao’s face heroically flushes a shade of pink, more because he is the type who prefers to throw those words around in a much more subtle way. He’s tempted to lie straight on but there’s something about the way Jeonghan awaits his answer that reminds him of those polygraph interviews of celebrities he saw on YouTube. Like Jeonghan itself is a lie-detecting machine who’ll laugh at your face whenever he detects one from you.

“Banging, like...?”

“Fucking.” Jeonghan smirks. “Let me rephrase that: Have you and Mingyu fucked before?”

Minghao puts on his best “appalled” face. “Why would you ask that?”

“You guys are together a lot.” Jeonghan’s eyes glint. “And it’s common knowledge that something is bound to be up between two men sharing an apartment.”

Something has been up to between the two men in question. Yes. “Common knowledge. Right.”

“Up in each other’s ass.” Jeonghan cackles. “Depending on your preferences.”

“Right. Okay. That’s enough about us.”

“Everyone wants to fuck him,” Jeonghan says, glancing longingly at Mingyu. “Everyone. That includes me. Maybe Jihoon and the rest too. Like, who wouldn't? Look at that ass."

What an awkward thing to say to your ex-boyfriend’s current secret boyfriend. But that is not something he can argue against. Especially not right now that Mingyu chose to go with a very flattering black muscle shirt under the heat of the sun and every now and then, pairs of eyes drift up and down his torso with a side of occasional ass-checking out...

Minghao could pretend he wasn’t dating Mingyu but he couldn’t pretend he did not notice the thirst gazes almost everyone around him throws his way.

He shrugs, adjusting the headphone around his neck as if it’s irritating him in a way. “Have you?”

The way Jeonghan smirks at him tells how dumb that question is. Of course, he has, he had been Mingyu’s boyfriend for a couple of months. (It’s as fruitful as his relationship with Soonyoung’s though. Jeonghan has this infamous reputation of falling in love a lot among the higher classes of the campus society which usually doesn’t last for a few months.) Why would anyone so keen on what the others think of Mingyu pass up an opportunity to try doing it himself? And by doing it, he means Mingyu. Minghao doesn’t even try to will down the creeping red up to his neck now that it had crossed his mind.

Jeonghan surprises him with a drawled, “Nah.”

Minghao frowns. “What?”

“Haven’t got the chance to. He was a bit dodgy when we were together for four months. And it was finals season so they weren’t much time for activities other than random making out during study dates.”

Minghao’s shocked face must’ve looked hilarious because the moment Jeonghan peeks at his face, he bursts out laughing so hard he almost stumbles back.

“Really?” Minghao manages when the laughing and the jaw-dropping got tiring after a few minutes.

“Soonyoung wasn’t kidding when he told me Mingyu was a prude.” Jeonghan comments. “But number 3 and 4 must’ve already broken him in.”

“Number 3 and 4?”

“Oh,” Jeonghan says. “Wonwoo and Jihoon respectively.”

Minghao squints. “What is that, some kind of codename?”

Jeonghan makes a noncommittal wave. “It’s nothing. Forget I said that. What I’m trying to say is that they’re lucky bastards for lasting a year and some months with Mingyu. It’s one of my biggest regrets in life, not taking the chance.”

Mingyu approaches him after Jeonghan walks off for a bottle of water after a complaint of laughing too hard and nudges him in the most “bro” way possible. “What did you say to Jeonghan?”

“For fuck’s sake, Kim Mingyu.” Minghao seethes under his breath the moment Mingyu fixes his cap, heedlessly flexing his arm. “Wear another shirt.”

Mingyu frowns. “Why? What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head, thinking it wouldn’t make much difference even if Mingyu does change his shirt. “Never fucking mind. Keep it on and please your audience even more.”

Minghao walks off without another word and Mingyu doesn’t follow him, too confused to tell what was wrong.

TRUE to his words, Minghao managed to deal with internal struggles most of the time, resulting in avoiding Mingyu altogether just to keep himself away from totally succumbing to the feeling. It doesn’t sit well with Mingyu and most of the time, he finds himself hanging around Seokmin more and more into the next months of filming and practicing. Both of them had a lot going on that they don’t have the time to sort things out between themselves. It was better than fights, at least for Minghao who couldn’t spare the energy to engage in an argument he’s too tired to go through. Mingyu tries to reach him of course. He had never failed in that department. He tried to make his efforts to appease Minghao during filming known in the subtlest way that he can all the while expressing just how much he wanted them to be fine. Minghao couldn’t deny his boyfriend the credit to his endeavor but he reciprocated him with nonchalance and bordering on ice-cold reception to his effort.

Mingyu eventually picked up on it and gave him the space he needed to himself. He stopped asking where he’s staying every night possibly with the knowledge Minghao preferred to crash in Seokmin’s apartment whenever he wants to be away. He stopped flooding him with texts, reducing to one text every day whenever they’re not around each other. Onset, they front getting along well for the sake of unity and efficiency but after the cameras stop rolling, they sink back to the desolate state of their relationship. Minghao figured that’s for the best, for the best of his emotional stability if he wants to see this through.

He’s holding up well, until the day he couldn’t.

“Oh wow,” Jeonghan asks to Jihoon in his recording studio, crouched next to him in front of his computer. Wonwoo is standing behind the mic on the other side of the glass, bobbing his head to the music playing while holding the sheet to his face. “This is the song you wrote for Mingyu?”

Minghao perks up from his seat over at the other end of the couch, eyes landing straight on Jihoon’s back.

“That’s right.”

Minghao’s brow shoots up.

“Oh, goody! You wrote a song for Mingyu?” Soonyoung inquires, crowding the computer. “That’s so touching!”

“And we’re gonna sing it in the movie?” asks Jeonghan.

Jihoon shrugs, leaning against his swivel chair. “Got Mingyu’s go signal. It fits the ending well, too. It works.”

“Let’s hear it!” Soonyoung says.

With one click on the keyboard, a soft melody starts playing following Jihoon’s voice humming to the tune. Soonyoung nudges and teases him about his dedication and Jihoon scoffs at him, playing it down as the two start gushing at his evident sweetness. Minghao tries to keep himself at bay despite his insides raging and his own throat trying to choke him.

Jihoon wrote a song for Mingyu. It’s playing. Jihoon is singing the demo. It sounds so good. The kind of good that can only be achieved by sincerity and deep affection. You don’t have to be a music genius to figure out how much emotion is embedded in this one piece and how valuable each note is. Every line says “I love you” in subtext. One might argue this is Jihoon’s finest yet. It’s for Mingyu. And they’re putting it into the movie. Their movie.

“I modified it after...” Jihoon clears his throat. “After Mingyu. So it fits the characters more than...”

The air inside the studio suddenly feels suffocating and tight so Minghao stands up, excuses himself with a slight nod to the others, and stalks out. He finds Mingyu on his way, clutching a coffee carrier on one hand and snacks on the other.

“You’re going out? Eat first,” Mingyu says and jots an elbow up in front of him when he attempts to push past him. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh yeah,” Minghao hisses, unable to stop himself. “Wonwoo was right. You do have a very good taste in romantic interests. Talented. Good-looking. Look, one of them is about to put a song for you in the movie. Everything is fucking alright!”

“What...”

Minghao takes the opportunity to push through, leaving Mingyu once again.

“Ya. Minghao!”

He doesn’t look back.

THE moment Minghao steps into the club, he’s instantly reminded why he liked going into places like this, loud and shaky. The environment is perfect for pouring his heart out without anyone judging you for it. Flashing strobe lights serve as the perfect mask for tears, the pounding music serves as the perfect cover noise for cries. It’s perfect. The familiar four walls of the place that embraced him whenever he needed to escape, gave him the exact things he needed to drown the sentiment for a night or two.

He settles at the counter and downs his first strong shot. He orders the whole bottle next. The next ten shots burn his throat with liquid acrimony, but he decides it’s the blaze he needs. It’s just him, his muddled thoughts, and smoldered throat for tonight.

“I’ll have the same thing as he’s having.”

Minghao turns to the familiar voice and squints as the shape and the features slowly make sense under the layers of neon lights. “Oh.”

Jihoon nods at him. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here...”

“Same as you. Trying to drown whatever’s in here.” He points at his chest then grimaces. “Sorry. But do you mind me sitting with you?”

He does mind. He wanted to drown in alcohol alone and not with someone who had triggered his decision of spending the night this way but civility got the better of him. Minghao nods, spreading an arm. “Be my guest.”

Jihoon slips into the seat next to him, nursing his own alcohol the bartender places in front of him. Even with the blasting music, it feels awkward sitting side by side like this. They never actually talked before, not even on set. Just casual exchanges of greetings that don’t even come through at times. Jihoon doesn’t strike him as someone who opens up conversations just for the sake of it and Minghao never found any reason to start one with him.

“You come around here often?” Jihoon asks loud enough to be heard above the thumping rhythm.

“Not too often but I like it here.” Minghao cocks his head to the side then pauses. Jihoon is trying. He might as well be. “You?”

“First time here,” he answers, looking around like it’s not. Jihoon has this earnest, steady air around him that says he knows what he’s doing, whatever it is he’s doing. He does look out of place right now, though. His small frame is swimming in the white hoodie, loosely slumped over his blonde head, and made his fringe poke out from under the material.

“Ah. Well, be careful of roofies.” Minghao says, chugging down another shot.

“First time here but it’s not my first club.”

He hums. “Good for you.”

“Does Mingyu know you’re here?”

He slams the shot glass against the counter a little harder than intended, the sharp clink barely audible over the bass of the music. “Mingyu doesn’t have to know.”

“I don’t think you’re boyfriend’s gonna like that.”

Minghao freezes, his glass caught midway up to his lips for another shot. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know you do, you’re not that drunk,” Jihoon says. “If you’re asking how I knew, it’s not that hard to pick up when you look at it hard enough.”

Minghao takes it back. He likes Jeonghan more than he likes Jihoon. In fact, his likability just plunged down to a negative digit.

“So you admit you’re looking at Mingyu hard?”

“It’s not what you think.”

Minghao manages a snort. “Oh, what do you think I think?”

“I think you’re taking it the wrong way. And I can tell because you’re here without anyone knowing.”

“Oh. Just... fuck off.”

“Is that how you deal with your problems Xu Minghao? I thought you were better than that.”

“My apologies for letting you down.”

Jihoon sighs. “The song was a kind of closure.”

The grip Minghao has around his glass tightens and his mind clears up enough to be a bit upset about it again. “That’s great.”

For a moment, Jihoon stops talking. Then he ducks forward to intrude into his field of vision. “Mingyu didn’t talk about me, did he?”

“I’ll beat the crap out of him if he does.” Minghao chuckles. “His past is his problem.”

“You’re right. But you’re upset.” Jihoon points out. “You have to know that song holds nothing of importance to me anymore.”

Minghao nods because he doesn’t know what Jihoon wants him to say. That it’s okay? That it’s just that? Nothing of importance when it had been something for him and Mingyu? What kind of bullshit is he planning on feeding him now?

“The song was about how mad I was at Mingyu for falling out of love,” Jihoon says. “But after we talked, I volunteered to change the song entirely for this movie. I guess you could say I recycled it to be a better use. So believe me when I tell you, it’s nothing. I feel nothing. We have both moved on and we’re both happy with it.”

Minghao chugs down another shot, wiping his greasy mouth with the back of the hand. It tastes better for some reason and instead of the burning sensation, the shot feels like warm concoction shooting down his throat.

“I came here to tell you that.” Jihoon nudges him, smiling a little. It’s a genuine smile and it mirrors his whole intention of being here. “And to have a couple drinks with you.”

Minghao turns to him, raising his shot glass. At this point, he has downed enough shots that his mind starts to feel too diluted with too much sentiment and effect of alcohol swirling inside it. “Cheers.”

Jihoon clinks his glass with his. “Cheers.”

MINGHAO groans, stirring.

He opens his eyes slowly, the flush of white light assaulting his retinas as soon as he does. He blinks them to adjust and groans again. The sun is up so that means he had slept in. It takes him another minute to fight against the urge to give in to the temptation of sleep and his brain starts to pick up a few coherent thoughts. A blast of pain shoots up to his temples when he attempts to stir his head. Ah, hangover. Perfect. Just the thing he needs to be experiencing right now.

He gives himself another few minutes to mull over what happened last night and his eyes flutter wide open when he dawns on him that this isn’t his bed. This doesn’t smell and feel like his bed at all.

He bolts up, groaning as another jolt of pain pierces behind his eyes.

“Oh good, you’re awake,” says a voice from the opposite side of the room, following a clearing of the throat. “Hey. Good morning.”

He turns and finds Jihoon leaning against the doorjamb, crossing his arms.

“Hey,” Minghao says, huffing and trying to smoothen his hair. “This your place?”

“Yeah.”

“And... your bed?”

“Yeah.”

Minghao palms his face. “Oh no. I’m sorry about this.”

“Nah, don’t be. Want to have some breakfast?”

“I think.” Minghao stumbles out of bed, thankful for the presence of his clothes on his body and his shoes neatly tucked at the foot of the bed. His stomach twists at the notion of food though, then he realizes it’s hunger. “I think I’m gonna dash. I shouldn’t be...”

“How about tea? I have something for the hangover.”

Tea. Tea sounds good.

Minghao recovers enough locomotive cooperation to not trip on his way to the kitchen where Jihoon sits in one chair, holding his phone with one hand and his spoon on the other. He looks up when he enters the kitchen, gesturing to the seat for Minghao. “Help yourself.”

“Uh. Thanks.”

Minghao sinks into his own seat and scoops the teacup first. The warm liquid leaves a trail of soothing sensation in his throat that his mind clears up a bit more with every sip. Jihoon doesn’t look at him for another few minutes until he drained his tea.

“I have more.”

“Thank you.”

Jihoon pours him another cup and nods at the sunny side up eggs and toast in his plate “Might as well eat while you’re at it.”

“What happened last night?” Minghao asks, sipping from his cup.

“We both got drunk, apparently,” Jihoon replies, stabbing the egg on his own plate. “You were a lot hammered than I was and it was late so I brought you home.”

“Ah.” Minghao looks down at his plate.

“Don’t you remember anything from last night?”

Minghao’s eyes widen. “We didn’t—”

“Oh, not that.” Jihoon quickly remedies, waving his hand. “We talked when we drink. That’s what I meant. Did you remember what we talked about?”

Pausing thoughtfully, he nods. “Yeah. I remember.”

Jihoon nods. “I called Mingyu. He’ll fetch you in a few minutes.”

Mingyu does come after a few minutes as promised, standing in front of Jihoon’s doorstep with his eyes bloodshot and hair in a lousy mess of brown. His jacket loose around his frame is definitely not his, Minghao recognizes because it’s his and it clings to Mingyu’s frame in a sort of way that makes his chest clench even more with those eyes softening on him.

“Hey—”

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Before he can open his mouth to explain, cold, hungry lips crash into his. Mingyu has his equally cold palms pressed against both his cheeks carefully like he’s holding onto a precious gem and he doesn’t want to ever let go of it. Minghao melts right into his kisses as he closes his eyes almost as if he’s grateful not to have to keep them open. He melts because he’s tired of running away. He’s tired of pushing him away when all he wanted to be is an assurance that nothing has changed, that nothing will ever change what they have between them. Mingyu’s kisses grow forceful and almost reproving the way he couldn’t put into words and Minghao takes everything in because he knows this time, it’s his fault. He knows he doesn’t even deserve this. He deserved to be taking hits because of how carelessly he treats their relationship these past months. He knows he should be wooing Mingyu now, showering him with these kinds of kisses and apologies for being a self-centered asshole who only had his own feelings in mind. He knows he deserved so much worse than this. Yet, here’s Mingyu, making him feel like everything is alright and that he’s the luckiest guy in the universe to be his.

“I’m sorry.” Minghao whispers in between the tender kisses Mingyu adorns his face. 

"It's okay, we'll talk about this soon." Mingyu hums, easing him into his arms and lets him bury his wet face into his chest. “I chose you, Minghao,” Mingyu whispers into his ear. “I will always choose you.”

They canceled shooting day and spent the entire day in their shared apartment, making up. The next day, he throws caution to the wind and kisses Mingyu in front of everyone, hoping that if this gets out to Mingyu’s prying mass, at least they could come up with an agreeable name for themselves.

All About Your Boyfriend Forum:

anpanman: @The8thDracula okay so how’s bf now sis

            REPLY to anpanman:

            The8thDracula: mine now

            The8thDracula: to everyone’s eyes

            Theancientone: omg sis I’m proud!!!!!!

            Somingsoo: YES FINALLY

            Anotnia_lee: lol!!!!!

            18973jungnation: oh god finally

            anpanman: and the exes?

MINGHAO wakes up frowning at his vibrating phone caused by the influx of notifications in the morning. When his brain sobers up enough, he bites his lips thinking the thing he fears the most as the corollary of yesterday’s decision has finally come.

He reaches for his phone, careful not to rouse Mingyu next to him with his arm draped over his waist, and swipes across the screen.

THE GYUHAONATORS GC

hoshi: GYUHAO NATION MAKE SOME NOISE

dk: SQUEEEEEE

dk: I’m a supportive bf

hoshi: mwah :*

dk: mwah :*

won_meow: if Minghao asks who came up with this idea, I’m yeeting myself

j-h00n: coward

jh1004: gyuhaonator is a totally cute name, I’ll take responsibility for it

jh1004: I’m responsible for every cute thing that happens in this gc

hoshi: I joined this gc to get juicy updates and not watch u guys banter

hoshi: and not bc of jeonghan’s shameless claim to everything cute

hoshi: I AM MY OWN CUTE PERSON

dk: ur my cute person ;)

hoshi: SWUWEUEUEUUUEUEU

hoshi: I love you as much as I love my neck pillows hunty

dk: good enough!!

hoshi: how abt number5 gives us some nudes instead

jh1004: as much as I want to see the nudes, we talked abt this soon, we don’t operate like this

won_meow: its not my fault hao I tried to stop them

number5: ...

number5: why am I number 5

jh1004: oh welcome dear one!!!

hoshi: HAO IS AWOKE

hoshi: ur the 5^th boyfriend yeeeeeet

j-h00n: it’s a running joke pls don’t take it srsly theyre all idiots

dk: hows the honeymoon munchkin

jh1004: again, fan restrictions

hoshi: it was an innocent question, we want deets

won_meow: oh god pls stop

hoshi: I should print out “gyu prude no more”

dk: I support this movement ^

won_meow: soonyoung pls

jh1004: no yeah actually we ought to celebrate that

jh1004: when was the first Netflix and chill Minghao we want deets

j-h00n: what happened to the fan restrictions

hoshi: ITS OUR BOY’S PRUDE NO MORE DATE WE WANT DEETS.

dk: give the gays what they deserve!!!!!

number5: ...

number5: wait

number5: does that mean I’m mingyu’s first?

Jh1004: duh

hoshi: duh

won_meow: duh

j-h00n: yuh

dk: swuack

number5: oh my god

hoshi: guys

hoshi: I think we broke number 5

jh1004: DON’T BREAK NOW YOU LUCKY BASTARD GIVE US THE DEETS