Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Today was a good day. At least, that was what Intrepid considered a day without major Siren threats. A day without ending up in dry dock or the medical ward. Already, the sun was low in the sky and the horizon was beginning to turn yellow.

It wouldn't be long - only a couple hours at most before the stars started coming out. Yes. Intrepid would be the first to admit astronomy fascinated her. She'd helped recover some of those spacecraft the Eagle Union had launched decades ago. That was probably where she really started looking into astronomy beyond simply stargazing, Intrepid thought. Those spacecraft… she'd wondered why.

Why did humans make them? Why did they go to space? Space. The cosmos. The "final frontier." The stars had always been nice to look at - but Intrepid really hadn't thought about going up there, into the cosmos. So she'd started looking for books she could borrow.

And there was way more out there than what she or anyone else could see by casually looking up into the night sky. Theories of dark matter, photographs of colourful nebulae. Galaxies - she'd learned that the trail across the sky of splotched stars was - in a way - a partial cross section of the galaxy Earth was in. Space was so… big. Intrepid couldn't fully wrap her head around it.

But she hadn't come here today to think about the stars - a fact she was reminded of by the roar above her. Peering upward, Intrepid caught sight of several planes banking together. Fighters. Intrepid blinked, and focused again. Absentmindedly, the carrier pressed a finger against her chin.

Those were Essex's fighters.

Intrepid sighed. She wouldn't have to look far for her sister - indeed, as Intrepid's gaze found its way towards the ground, she soon spotted Essex. Her eldest sister was looking intently at her planes. Completely focused. She was probably training to outdo Enterprise - again. Essex's fervour to be on the level of the Eagle Union's legendary ace was something all of her sisters knew too well.

Anyone who spoke with Essex would know it, really. Essex stumbled over her words, and stumbled just as much over talking to people. The stumbling became even worse when it came to Enterprise - and Essex would breathlessly launch into descriptions of the other carrier's greatness in combat.

Essex would probably spend all night training without some prompting from one of her sisters. Of course, only Intrepid was there right now. Shaking her head, the carrier strode over to her sister.

"Essex?" Intrepid called out.

Essex jumped, and quickly turned on her heel. She was blinking a bit quickly, her eyes wide. "Oh… it's you." Essex wasn't able to keep the shakiness out of her voice - the shakiness Intrepid recognised as the tone Essex took when she'd been shocked out of intense focus.

"What are you doing here?" Essex's voice was low, and one of her hands flexed and curled into a fist. She glanced at Intrepid, before looking back at one of her planes as it banked. It was coming in to land, and Essex's flight deck was waiting.

Intrepid tilted her head. "I'm here because I saw you out here again. Don't you ever take a break?"

Essex's shoulders tensed. She huffed a bit, before looking back at Intrepid. "I can't, Intrepid - I can't, and you know why."

"Your obsession?"

"It's not an obsession!" Essex hissed. "It's making a name for myself that isn't just Enterprise's successor."

Intrepid sighed, and forced herself to unclench her own fists. As much as Essex's insistence on this irritated her, she felt like she couldn't take it out on her. Not yet, at least. "Is this about getting famous?"

Essex looked up a bit too quickly. Her eyes were wide, like a deer in headlights. "No! I mean… fame would be nice, but I want recognition."

"You can get it. But this--" Intrepid gestured at the countless planes flying above the two sisters, "--feels like you're taking it too far. Like all you're breathing and living for is combat."

Essex's shoulders sagged. She swiftly looked away. Again. "I'll prove myself…"

"But there's more to things than just fighting."

"Enterprise is the perfect warrior! I have to be too, if I'm gonna surpass her!" Essex's voice rose a bit in pitch. She twitched, and her eyes darted about wildly.

"... you've proven yourself enough already, Essex." Intrepid swallowed down a lump in her throat. Essex was always so fixated on this, even though she'd done plenty herself. (Besides, was Enterprise truly happy? Intrepid wondered. The way the Eagle Union's ace acted… was it a shield?)

Essex shook her head. "Not enough…." She turned her back on Intrepid, and her planes swept overhead in a large group.

Intrepid knew when her older sister didn't want to talk.

As Intrepid walked away, an uneasy feeling formed in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't stop feeling like someday… someday Essex would crash and burn like this. Break down. Perfection wasn't possible. Even Intrepid - even the "Fighting I" - couldn't spend her every breath on battle and her every waking moment training. The kansen had human minds, even if they were built for war - and human minds weren't made to battle without any breaks. Minds cracked under that kind of pressure. Under forever wars and struggles to survive and be known -

Intrepid hoped Essex didn't crack. The feeling was only getting stronger. She swallowed. Tomorrow, the carrier resolved, tomorrow she'd try to distract her sister. There was life beyond war, and she hoped that someday - they could both enjoy it. Enjoy peace.

The uneasy feeling still wouldn't go away. Intrepid stole a look at the sky - it was darkening. Even Essex would have to stop soon. (Kansen had all the needs of humans, and those included rest.) Soon, too, would the stars come out. Perhaps looking at them would soothe her ill-at-ease body. (Her chest was so tight. She focused on deep breaths.) She found a place to sit, and brushed away some of the dust on the rock before she sat down.

It was getting darker. The cool seabreeze picked up, and Intrepid pulled her coat up a bit.

It was funny that she felt more at home in the dark, Intrepid thought. Not as many carriers were willing to do night raids, but yet… even if the light was faint - the stars shone on. They formed patterns across the sky. Familiar patterns. Beyond them was a universe Intrepid couldn't truly see - but it was filled with countless things, all the same. Stars, and black holes, and nebulae…

Yes, Intrepid would much rather spend the night looking up at the stars. They were white, almost all white to the naked eye, but some had reddish tinges even without a telescope. From Earth, the stars seemed to dance and twinkle in the sky.

-- something wasn't there. Something that had been there earlier. The carrier noticed that her sister's planes were no longer in the air. Ah. Essex must be turning in, preparing to rise early in the morning. She always did.

Intrepid would stay out here a bit longer. She'd have to sleep eventually; but for now, Intrepid would watch the shining stars.

Chapter Text

The night was cool. The breeze slowly died down as Intrepid got comfortable on the bare rock. Comfortable, in a certain context. The stars were bright tonight - it was a cloudless night, so Intrepid could see the sky in all its glory.

It was especially breathtaking tonight, Intrepid decided.

That was when she heard a soft noise. Something scrabbling against the rock. Something approaching, with the sound of little scratching - boots against rock. Someone else was out here. But who? Intrepid turned her head quickly. She squinted in the dark of a night only illuminated by the crescent moon and the stars.

Even in the faint light, the figure's silver hair and white cap almost shone. Intrepid felt her heart skip a beat. Enterprise, here - Enterprise, out of all kansen?

To the rest of the Eagle Union, Enterprise at least projected the aura of a steadfast ace. (Intrepid dimly remembered moments where that wasn't the case. Enterprise didn't talk about the times the others heard raised voices.) She was a legend, the one who had brought about the five minutes of Fate. She was a warrior, in their eyes - the ultimate warrior.

But here, in the dark, Enterprise shied back before catching herself. She stood rigidly. It only made the atmosphere grow more uncomfortable.

Intrepid swallowed, feeling her chest squeezing. What would she say? What could she say? Enterprise was always the one the other girls looked up to. She had always felt untouchable.

Even Intrepid couldn't help but be dazzled, a bit by the stories told about Enterprise. How the Grey Ghost sank so many kansen who'd sought to defeat her, how she'd evaded death multiple times over, how she'd become the dreaded of their enemies. Yet - Intrepid also noticed things. She didn't miss how empty the perfection Enterprise exuded was; if it was even perfection in Enterprise's eyes. Or if, to the ace, it was something else.

No one talked about Enterprise's past. Intrepid had the sense it wasn't truly as glorious, somehow; like there were missing pieces. There was a tinge of shame in that. Shame in the perceived tarnishing of their legend. There was shame in other things too - shame in Enterprise feeling.

Yet… here Intrepid and Enterprise stood. Intrepid looked back at the other carrier, to see she had schooled her face back into a calm expression. Gone were the outward signs of her shock. Intrepid caught a twitch in Enterprise's hand, before it went tense. 

...ugh. The heavy silence made Intrepid want to squirm. This silence pressed down on her, and she shuffled a bit. So much tension. Intrepid hesitated, considering breaking the silence.

Enterprise looked so unearthly with her silver hair shining faintly under starlight. (Yet… she was mortal. Intrepid had the faint feeling that she was forgetting the ace's mortality; that everyone was.)

Enterprise looked over Intrepid again. Enterprise wasn't looking at her eyes, Intrepid noticed. Avoiding them. Just as quickly as Enterprise's eyes had started to wander towards Intrepid's face, the silver-haired carrier wrenched her eyes away. She looked up.

Intrepid followed Enterprise's gaze into the sky. The stars were bright tonight. Intrepid could make out several constellations, including Orion, the Hunter. That was funny. Enterprise was a hunter, in a way. She fought and fought, chasing her enemies across the waves. Yet - no matter long Enterprise sailed, she'd never been able to confront the Cranes. Intrepid and her sisters had dealt with them - but when they did… Enterprise had a strange look in her eyes. Regret?

Now wasn't the time to think about that. Intrepid heard a throat clearing beside her.

"Why… are you up here?" Enterprise asked. She glanced towards Intrepid, and backed away. A bit. Barely noticeable, but still… "You're one of Essex's sisters… right?" Enterprise's voice was soft. It almost sounded like she was struggling to speak.

Intrepid paused. Essex's sister? She knew there were a lot of them, and yet… no. Quashing the unwelcome feeling, Intrepid spoke. "Intrepid. I came out here to look at the stars."

(The stars were beautiful things. Little lights shining eternally in the sky. They were violent balls of gas and fire in reality, but from Earth, they were but little pinpoints. And… Intrepid found it dizzying to think how long their light would shine. That ancient light would travel the cosmos, forever and ever.)

Enterprise was quiet - and stiff. Intrepid swore she caught a glimpse of uncertainty in her purple eyes.

Uncertainty. That wasn't an expression you expected out of someone like Enterprise. She gave off the aura of a weary warrior. A strong ace. But Enterprise hid her heart behind it, as well.

And, Intrepid realised, maybe she was seeing a bit of that hidden part of Enterprise. The part she covered up.

The moment passed, and Enterprise stilled her jerking arm. Her face was calm once more - a forced calm, Intrepid noted. Again. The tension in Enterprise's lips gave it away. It was a little thing, really, but Intrepid had learned from Essex to look for the little things about someone's manner.

"The stars are lovely tonight," Intrepid said. She tilted her head a smidge, watching Enterprise.

Enterprise didn't respond for a long moment. Intrepid felt her heart pounding. Had she said too much? Then she noticed Enterprise eyeing her.

Was that… hope in Enterprise's eyes?

That was… different. Far different than any other time she'd seen Enterprise. She was sometimes weary or unwittingly letting slip a small bit of pain. But hope wasn't something Intrepid had seen on Enterprise's face. Something she remembered about the ace.

"How… many of the constellations ... do you know?" Enterprise's voice was coming out in bits; Intrepid swore she was struggling to speak.

"That's Orion there, right?" Intrepid gestured towards the Hunter splashed across the night sky. Orion's Belt was a distinctive thing - a line of three stars that shone close together.

Enterprise nodded. "The Hunter. Its brightest stars are Rigel and Betelgeuse, and even though stars are given alpha, beta, and so on designations in order of brightness, Rigel's actually brighter." Enterprise looked furtively at Intrepid. When Intrepid didn't move to stop her, Enterprise continued - this time in a slightly more confident tone. She was relaxing a bit, her body becoming a little more animated. "The reason Betelgeuse is Alpha Orionis instead of Rigel is because back when they were making those naming conventions, they couldn't measure stars' brightness like we can today."

Okay, Intrepid would admit she hadn't expected Enterprise to know that kind of thing. She blinked a bit. Something about Enterprise knowing things about astronomy wasn't what Intrepid had expected - then, again, Enterprise kept to herself. (Like she couldn't get into the social circles the kansen formed.) No one could really claim to know Enterprise well, considering she didn't have any close family. At least, any that was alive - Enterprise lost the ability to talk when asked about her family. So the knowledge of the reason some of Intrepid's sisters were called the Revenge-class was the only thing to go on….

When Intrepid came back to reality, it was because Enterprise had stopped talking.

"I said too much, didn't I?" Enterprise's words were quick, fighting against her wavering voice. "I'm sorry -"

"It's fine," Intrepid said. Her tone was firm. She had to be calm, she thought.

Enterprise bowed her head. Intrepid saw the other carrier raise her hands. Enterprise quickly snapped her hands back to her sdes when she saw Intrepid was still watching her, and straightened her back.

"I… it's late isn't it? You… we should go sleep," Enterprise said.

All Enterprise's previous relaxation was gone. Intrepid realised that Enterprise had returned to that stiff, calm appearance. That… shield. She was - she was hiding her feelings, Intrepid realised.

(Essex was chasing perfection. Enterprise was hiding behind it. Once more, Intrepid had that intense feeling they'd crash and burn.)

Enterprise started down the rock. She beckoned Intrepid over her shoulder, who hurried to follow. 

Intrepid had a lot of thoughts rattling in her mind. It wasn't just her sister anymore, it was Enterprise too. But… Enterprise didn't trust others, if tonight was anything to go by. There had to be a reason why. And that look Enterprise had given her earlier… it was like she was - scared to speak?

Once again, Intrepid felt a lump in her throat. Tonight, she'd seen a side Enterprise kept hidden. A side brought out by the stars… the shining stars.

Could they… be the key? And even if not, it'd be nice to have someone else to talk to about the cosmos. Yes, perhaps she'd have to find Enterprise again.

With that thought, Intrepid hurried to her sisters' dorm as Enterprise split off to go elsewhere in the base - to Enterprise's own dorm room.