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It’s raining again. It’s been raining for a few days now, and while that isn’t abnormal for British weather, Phil could really do with some sunshine right now.
But that doesn’t matter right now. It doesn’t matter if Phil hasn’t seen the sun for over a week or that he’s “so pale that he’s almost translucent”, because Dan is curled up on the sofa in his pale pink sweater, slowly waking up from a slight slumber, ready to watch a movie with him. Phil allows himself to gaze at Dan for a few more seconds before plopping down on the sofa next to him. “Good nap babe?” he asks softly, carding his fingers through Dan’s oversized curls.
Phil loves his hair like this. It reminds him of when they were younger, when they had first met. Phil was full of nervous, excited energy then, high off of the fact that he was finally with Dan and was allowed to touch him, constantly pulling Dan’s hair lightly, biting his shoulder, knocking their knees together.
Dan mumbles sleepily and shifts a bit. His head rests on Phil's lap, and he lets out a soft sigh. “What’re we gonna watch?”
Phil looks at his phone, Netflix open to the home page. He had spent a good half an hour trying to figure out what they should watch. He didn’t want to watch anything now, he wants to lie with Dan and listen to his heartbeat, his soft voice telling him a story as they drift off to sleep.
Phil shrugs, taking off his glasses and placing them on the cushion next to him. “Dunno, don’t really feel like watching anything right now.”
Dan twists his head a bit, looking up at Phil.
“You alright?” His voice is thick with the remnants of sleep, and his eyes are half shut. Phil drops a soft kiss on his forehead.
“Yeah, I just kinda want to hang out with you. Without the telly.”
Dan smiles at Phil, opening his eyes completely. “Alright.”
And that’s how they end up on their balcony with two sleeping bags unzipped and placed next to each other, under a large pile of blankets and pillows. Dan is sat criss cross in the middle, Phil’s baguette plushie on his lap.
It’s more of Dan’s plushie, really. He’s taken to absentmindedly cuddling it quite often during the day, and it’s always on his side of the bed. There’s nothing Phil has that isn’t Dan’s though; he wonders when he got used to sharing his life with someone, when mine became ours.
Phil watches Dan get comfortable in the little pillow fort, smiling fondly as he stretches like a cat, his long body twinkling softly under the fairy lights they put up a few weeks ago. He takes out his phone and clicks a cheeky photo, laughing when Dan immediately whines in protest. He crawls over to Phil and pulls him down, tickling his sides, causing the older man to break out into violent giggles.
“Dan stop!” Phil gasps, trying to catch his breath before bursting into another round of laughter. He grabs Dan’s hand before it snakes under his armpit and pins it above his head.
Phil is hovering above Dan now, and his mischievous smirk is fading fast. “Hi.” Phil whispers. He’s close enough to count Dan’s eyelashes, to feel his breath on his own lips. Dan lifts his head up ever so slightly to connect their lips, keeping his eyes open and looking at Phil.
They draw apart after a few minutes of lazy, drawn out kisses. Phil flops on his back next to Dan, their legs tangled together.
Phil looks at the boy next to him. He’s looking at the barely visible stars above him, washed out by their fairy lights, a soft smile teasing his lips. His curls fall gracefully from his head, framing his face into the most beautiful picture Phil has ever seen. Below his jumper, Dan’s long, bare legs are intertwined with his own cotton clad ones.
Phil is suddenly filled with such a strong rush of emotion, he can barely contain it. Dan is his person, the man he wants to spend the rest of his life with, the man he’s already spent his whole life with. Life before Dan wasn’t really life, not really. It was just him, alive but not really living, not knowing this beautiful person that was waiting to be loved, waiting to love him.
Falling in love with Dan was so easy. Phil fell in love with him so quickly it was almost alarming. He fell in love with the way he laughed, the way he talked, the way he cried. He fell in love with the way Dan was so unapologetically him, the way he, quite literally, completed Phil.
“I love you, Dan.” Phil says plaintively, and he knows that those words aren’t enough to encompass what he feels for the other man. Dan rolls onto his side, returning Phils gaze with equal intensity. “I love you more.” He replies, smirking slightly. He drops a kiss on Phils nose when the older man huffs out an “Impossible”.
They are quiet for sometime, watching the stars and holding hands. Dan is humming something under his breath.
“Will you make me pancakes tomorrow?” Phil asks, putting on his best “I love you and we’re having a moment right now so you can’t refuse me” face which is basically just him pouting a bit and then snuggling into Dan when he lets out an exasperated sigh.
“Absolutely not, it’s your day to make breakfast tomorrow anyway!” Dan complains, half heartedly trying to shove Phil off of his shoulder.
“I’m not waking up at the asscrack of dawn just to make you some bloody pancakes.” Dan exclaims when Phil doesn’t relent with the puppy eyes. Phil whines again, nudging Dan’s shoulder with his own head. “But Dan,” Phil said slowly, fighting the grin off of his face, “I thought I was your best friend, your companion through life, your-”
His voice is muffled by the pillow Dan throws at him. “Fuck off!” He exclaims, laughing a little bit. “You idiot.” Phil smiles cheesily at Dan, fluttering his eyelashes excessively. “I’m your idiot.” He simpers, dodging the expected pillow thrown at him. Dan groans, burying his face in the blankets while Phil laughs at him.
He looks up at Phil after a minute or so, glaring at him. “I will make you breakfast tomorrow,” Dan says haughtily, “because I am a kind and generous soul. Not because you asked.”
Phil laughs again. “Of course not babe.” He agrees easily, he’s got pancakes at stake.
Dan grumbles for a bit. Phil hears the words “manipulative boyfriend” and “divorce”, and can’t help the fond grin that usually takes up permanent residence on his face.
His stupid, wonderful boyfriend turns towards him grumpily. “Come and cuddle me then.” He orders. “I’m cold.”
Phil drapes his arm across Dan’s waist, spooning him from behind as they look up at the sky. “Thank you Dan.” He whispers, placing a soft kiss on his curls. Dan twists his head to capture Phil’s lips in a soft kiss. “Love you, bub.” He says.
“Love you too.”
It’s perfect, Phil thinks. He’s where he wants to be, with who he wants to be with. He’s content, happy. He closes his eyes and leans into Dan, letting himself drift off to sleep.