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Chapter Text

“Hey, Prentiss, you alright?” Emily looked up to meet Morgan’s concerned gaze and straightened up from where she had been leaning against the rail. It was an open hotel, her least favorite kind if she was honest, and the group was on the upper level. It was some time after midnight the last time Emily had bothered to look and the cold night air was biting at her skin, but she was far past numb. Physically and emotionally. “Emily?” 

Oh, yeah, Morgan. 

“I’m good,” she said, voice soft and somewhat emotionless. She heard Morgan shuffling forward until he stood next to her close enough that she could feel the heat radiating from his large body. Part of her wanted to lean into that warmth, but the other part wanted that numbing cold that kept her from thinking. 

“If you were good you wouldn’t be standing outside in the cold in that thin ass t-shirt,” Morgan replied simply, “you gotta be freezin’, girl.” Before Emily could protest a heavy weight settled on her shoulders and pushed the cold from her body quicker than she could blink, the jacket incredibly soft and dense. She doesn’t say anything and neither does Morgan. The pair stood in silence overlooking the practically empty parking for what felt like hours before the other agent straightened up.

“If you need me, you know which room I’m in, okay? Try and get some sleep.” It was a nice gesture considering Emily was technically still the new girl, and it warmed her more than the large hoodie ever could. She watched Morgan shuffle back into the room he was currently sharing with Reid and sighed softly to herself. It was already late, or early, she supposed, so it wouldn’t matter if she stayed out all night. They were flying back in the morning and she could sleep on the plane if needed, but something drew her back the room where JJ still slept. Truth was, Emily was tired. 

It was the kind of tired that sleep couldn’t fix. It settled in her bones like lead but she found herself moving back inside her room anyway. Emily was exhausted, both mentally and physically, but still pasted on the act of who the team expected each morning. If she couldn’t be okay, then she would at least make them think she was.

Settling on top of the hotel comforter, Emily curled in on herself like a hermit crab inside Morgan’s Derek’s hoodie. It was big and still held his warmth, and the agent felt almost safe within it. Emily buried her nose into the hood as she slowly began to feel again, her skin tingling slightly, and breathed in. Derek smelled nice. Masculine and a little like cinnamon, it was nice, calming even. When she woke up from nightmares that felt like something from a Saw movie sometime later, that scent was enough to remind her that she would be okay. 

The next morning JJ was already gone by the time Emily woke up, but that was okay. The blonde woman confused her and she didn’t have the mental capacity for the emotions that came with her. Emily didn’t bother with a shower, just grabbed her bag and trudged down the rickety iron stairs to the SUVs where the others were already waiting. Derek’s hoodie was still anchoring her to the ground as she slid into the passenger seat and met the owner’s eyes. 

“Good morning, princess. Get any sleep last night?” Emily glanced around nervously as she fiddled with the long sleeves that fell far past her hands and then nodded. 

“Yeah, thanks, Morgan.” Her words were genuine and so was his smile. 

“No problem, Emily. Shit happens, you know, we all have those cases.” He held her gaze steadily and there was a mutual understanding there. His case was Carl Buford or anything involving children really, and hers were the brutal ones; the ones that showed the deepest pits of hell reflected onto the surface by earth-dwelling demons. 

Whatever moment they were having was interrupted by Reid climbing into the backseat already talking about something neither could comprehend. The spell was broken, but Morgan still smiled and even Emily managed to return it for a few seconds. Yeah, Emily was going to be okay. 

Chapter Text

“People are horrible,” Emily commented over her fourth shot of vodka, words beginning to slur. Derek and Penelope raised their drinks in agreement before downing their respective shots. They had been at a bar near Penelope’s place since they had returned from Woodbridge nearly two hours ago, but they were nowhere near drunk enough. All of their cases sucked, but this one especially. That poor girl…

Emily raised her hand to signal the bartender for another round but then Morgan gently lowered it again. “I doubt you wanna be hungover while you do reports tomorrow.” The female agent pouted at being cut off but the still-sober part of her agreed. Hotch already didn’t seem to like her very much and she doubted he would hungover and grouchy. “I’m gonna get you guys some water.” While Derek danced his way across the floor, Emily turned to Penelope who watched him with a soft smile. 

“Derek always takes me out after a real bad case,” she said quietly, “always lets me drink and cry on his shoulder since I’m not like you guys.” Emily frowned and reached out to pat the other woman’s shoulder in what she hoped was a comforting manner. 

“These cases fuck with us too, we just don’t always cry about it.” No, Emily just got drunk or went to the gym to hit the punching bag until she couldn’t feel her hands. Because that’s so much better than crying.

“I know, I know, it’s just… you guys see the worst of it.” Penelope had her there, so she changed the subject.

“So, what else do you guys do after a bad case?” 

“Usually we go back to my place,” was her reply, which made Emily raise a brow. She had her suspicions about the two but they were always so adamant about being “just friends”. “No, no, not like that! He just holds me while watching a movie or something, not whatever dirty thing you’re thinking, Agent Prentiss.” The two giggled as Derek sidled up beside the blonde and handed them both a glass of water with expectant looks.

“Do I even want to know?” He questioned while they continued to giggle .

“Just tellin’ Emily about our plans for later,” Penelope replied, waggling her eyebrows suggestively until he began to laugh as well. 

“You’re a menace, woman,” Derek told Penelope but he was smiling so neither took it too seriously. “Which, reminds me that we’re supposed to be leaving soon. Emily, do you need a ride home?” The agent had left her car at the BAU and drove with Penelope, but she was in no shape to drive anyways. 

“Nah, I’ll get a cab,” she waved them off. 

“Wait, come with us!” Both agents turned to stare at the analyst in confusion and she was quick to continue. “JJ has her hiking, Rossi is probably with some leggy brunette, Hotch is with his family, and even Reid has something. I’m sure Emily doesn’t want to go home to her sad, empty apartment.” 

“Hey!” Emily exclaimed indignantly. “There’s nothing wrong with my apartment.” 

“It’s empty, which is why you’re coming home with us.” Penelope stated in a matter-of-fact tone that left no room for her to argue. Not that it stopped her.

“I really don’t want to intrude,” she tried as the blonde began leading her out of the bar. Derek slung an arm over her shoulders and gave the two his usual charismatic grin.

“What man would turn down two gorgeous women in his bed?” Emily rolled her eyes but the action made her a bit dizzy so she decided not to do it again as Derek helped her into the back of his car. 

“Don’t go thinking you’re gettin’ lucky tonight, mister.” The agent said with narrowed eyes, but Derek only laughed. 

“No worries, Emily, you’re not my type anyways.” Emily stuck her tongue out once his back was turned and devolved into giggling with Penelope in the backseat while he drove them. The ride was a bit of a daze to her alcohol-addled brain but she did have a half-there memory of someone yelling Billy Joel’s Uptown Girl. Now, whether it was her or Penelope, the world may never know. (It was her.)

Somehow Derek managed to get both of them up to the blonde’s apartment with only minor incident, and then they were collapsing onto her surprisingly large bed in laughter. Derek sighed from above them and tugged at Emily’s boot to get her attention. 

“You guys need to change, c’mon,” he wheedled, tapping at the brunette’s ankle until she shrieked at the feeling. “I doubt you want me stripping either of you, so up you get.” 

“Oh, sugar, you can strip me any day,” Penelope flirted, her tone sultry and seductive until she went back to laughing. Eventually she did get up and grabbed Emily’s hand to help her off the couch. “C’mon Em, I have some clothes you can borrow.” 

The clothes in question were a baggy tank top and a pair of fuzzy bubblegum pink pajama pants. At her dubious look, Penelope only shrugged. 

“You can go pantless if you want, I’m sure Derek wouldn’t mind,” she commented. Those pants were on faster than the blonde could blink. Emily debated keeping her bra on but knew that attempting to sleep in the contraption would not be advisable, so she tucked it under her jacket and stood awkwardly at the foot of Penelope’s bed. 

She watched Derek climb in beside her like it was nothing, and it really wasn’t, but Emily wasn’t sure where she fit until Pen patted the empty spot to her left. “You get to be little spoon.” If anyone asked, Emily Prentiss would vehemently deny that she liked being the little spoon. Tonight, she didn’t put up a fight as she crawled in next to Pen and let the other woman wrap and around her midsection. The brunette sighed softly under Pen’s warm weight and found herself drifting off effortlessly to the pair’s steady breathing. 

Emily woke up much earlier than she wanted, sunlight streaming through sheer curtains. She laid there for a moment to bask in the comfort of not being alone after such a shitty case, but then her brow furrowed. 

“Morgan, if that’s your hand on my thigh I will castrate you,” she croaked, grimacing at the taste in her mouth. 

“Sorry,” a distinctly feminine voice whispered, Emily’s mind placing it with Penelope’s face. The hand slowly withdrew and she could hear Morgan’s low chuckle behind her. “Do you feel as bad as I do?”

“Oh,” Emily grumbled, “I feel fine.” In fact, she was kind of okay even. 

Chapter Text

“Reid?” The young genius hadn’t said a word since leaving California, not even once they boarded the jet. Emily hadn’t known how quiet it could be without Reid filling the silence. “Spencer?” She tried again, this time gaining his attention. 

“Yeah, uh, what?” It was an out-of-character response from the usually articulate young man and it made Emily’s heart ache for him. 

“Let me give you a ride home,” she said softly, shaking her head when he opened his mouth to argue. “There’s nothing you can do here, so come on before I have to carry your skinny ass out.” Spencer huffed but slung his satchel over his shoulder nonetheless, so Emily took that as a win. They took the elevator down to the parking garage where she nudged him into the passenger seat of her car like a baby bird. 

After a whispered address from Spencer, Emily drove through the streets much slower than normal since he always seemed so afraid of her driving. A snail’s pace was a small price to pay for his comfort. She let Spencer lead her up to his apartment and made a point not to seem too nosy once he unlocked the door. Unsurprisingly, there were books and journals scattered throughout the apartment but still had a sense of organization to it.

“Uh, would you like to stay? I was just gonna order some take-out, but if you have other things to do, I get it. I mean, I’m sure you have better things to do than hang out with me,” Spencer rambled, which drew a small laugh from the brunette. 

“Spence, I’ll stay if you want me to. Why don’t you go change or shower while I order food,” Emily replied, “Chinese okay?”

“Yeah, thanks.” He turned and disappeared down the hall, but then peeked his head back around the corner with a surprisingly soft expression. “Thanks, Emily.” She returned the smile before pulling her phone out to dial the closest Chinese restaurant that delivered and ordered their favorites. She heard the distant sound of water and assumed he was taking a shower as she suggested. 

While she waited, Emily approached one of the numerous bookshelves and ran her fingers over the spines. Some were obviously old while others still looked fresh off the press, but none had a speck of dust on them which spoke to the genius’s dedication to them. She vaguely registered the water turning off and tried to appear casual as she observed the titles, but then let herself relax. This was Reid, her friend, and partner. He needed the real Emily tonight. 

“You could borrow one if you’d like.” His voice was low and soft, almost like he was trying to keep himself from screaming. Which, made complete sense to the brunette. 

“Any recommendations?” Spencer hummed and turned to pluck two books from the shelf behind him. “ Les Misérables and Cakes and Ale ?”

“You mentioned not having read the book one night when we were out with Morgan, and Cakes and Ale is just a good book,” he said with a slight shrug. “Plus, the protagonist, Rosie, reminds me a bit of you.” 

“I’ll read it first then.” Emily smiled softly at the tawny blond and took the books only to set them on the coffee table. “Food should be here soon, Lo Mein, right?” 

“Thanks, uh, if you wanted to take a shower while we wait that’d be fine,” Spencer stated, “you have been on a plane for six hours.” 

“Nah, I left my bag in the car anyways.” 

“I can go get it! You should be comfortable, you know since you’re indulging me.” Emily took two steps toward the genius and ran a hand through his damp hair. 

“More like you’re indulging me, Boy Wonder.” He flushed under her smile and shrugged. “Okay, if you go get it just set it inside the door.” 

Spence beamed, showing more emotion then since leaving the high school. “I’ll be back, feel free to use my stuff then.” Emily watched him leave before slipping into his bathroom and stripping off his clothes. She chuckled at the science puns on the shower curtain and then turned on the water with relative ease. The female agent stood under the warm spray for a few minutes before turning the heat all the way up until it stung. 

“Uh, Emily, I’m setting the bag on the counter,” Spencer murmured, “my eyes are closed, I swear.” Emily chuckled once the door shut and focused on the bottles sitting precariously on the shelf of the genius’s shower. There were three bottles, one shampoo and the other conditioner of obviously high quality. The final bottle was a minty body wash that tingled her skin as she dragged the loofa across her chest and she made a mental note to look into the brand. 

Emily finished quickly and dried off with one of Spencer’s surprisingly soft towels. She tugged on a pair of yoga pants she wore to sleep and a baggy shirt from her days at Yale but huffed when she realized she had no clean socks. It wouldn’t be an issue if Spencer’s apartment wasn’t cold enough to keep a penguin happy, or had hardwood. Deciding to suck it up, Emily tossed her dirty clothes into her go-bag and then rejoined the genius in the living room where an array of cartons were arranged on the coffee table.

“Here,” he said, tossing something in her direction that she barely caught. “I know my place is pretty cold.” Brow furrowed, Emily turned over the projectile and smiled when she realized it was a pair of Doctor Who themed fuzzy socks.

“I didn’t take you for a fuzzy sock-kinda guy,” the brunette observed as she plopped down beside him. She took the offered carton of sesame chicken and chopsticks with a soft “thanks” and turned her attention to the program on TV. It was some documentary on draining the Bermuda Triangle and she found herself more interested than expected. They ate in relative silence, no facts from the resident genius which was mildly concerning, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. 

Once empty cartons littered the table and the movie ended, Spencer paused his DVR and turned to Emily. “You’re free to go if you want.” His tone was casual but she could read beneath the words. 

“Yeah, I could, but they’re draining the Titanic next,” Emily replied, “and I don’t know about you, but the unsinkable ship was my childhood obsession.” Spencer tried to hide it, but she could see a grateful smile tugging at his thin lips. 

After twenty minutes of slightly tense sitting, neither one touching the other, Emily huffed and faced the lanky man. “Alright, get up for a second.” He was visibly confused but did as told nonetheless while the brunette stretched out on the couch before patting the space next to her. “Come be my little spoon, Doctor Reid.” She tried not to laugh at the blush gracing his cheeks as he sat down next to her in stilted motions, but then he laid down stiff as a board and she couldn’t hold it in. 

“I don’t bite,” Emily teased, “just relax.” Slowly, Spencer untensed and rested his head against her chest as he curled his knees toward his stomach. Emily carded her fingers through his hair as they watched the movie and smiled to herself when she noticed that he had fallen asleep. Knowing that she wouldn’t wake him up unless the building was on fire, Emily settled in and let her eyes fall shut with a soft sigh. Spencer was going to be okay.

Chapter Text

They were drinking. It was the only explanation that Emily could give that would justify agreeing to go home with Rossi. It was David Rossi of all people, the man behind the majority of fraternization rules of the FBI. Emily shouldn’t have been surprised. 

They had returned from the Galen home mere hours ago and Derek immediately whisked everyone off to Stucky’s, minus Hotch who wanted to see his son before it got too late. 

Rossi was surprisingly chipper after solving the case that had haunted him for nearly twenty years and bought the first round of shots while he nursed a bottle of Scotch at the bar. Derek and Pen were dancing on the floor, JJ was kicking ass at the pool table in a shirt that rode up high enough to reveal a small tattoo above her left hip, and Spence had even made a few friends in a corner booth. Emily sat at a lone table, idly swirling the whiskey in her glass until she stopped thinking so hard. She couldn’t imagine being like Rossi, having a case hang over her until it consumed her. Hell, she couldn’t imagine being in the BAU as long as he was, only to come back after escaping the horror. 

“I thought I was supposed to be the stereotypical older agent nursing a drink in the dark.” Emily startled slightly at Rossi’s sudden appearance but made sure to mask it well. 

“There’s no limit to how much dark-and-twisty a team can have, Agent Rossi.” Emily replied simply, giving the man a sideways smirk. 

“Not too happy this evening, Agent Prentiss ?” She sipped her drink, the bitter liquid settling in her stomach. 

“I’m here,” was all she could say. Rossi’s eyes were on her, heavy and knowing, but he didn’t say anything for a few tension-filled seconds. Emily’s eyes were glued to JJ across the dance floor.  The blonde laughed with Derek and Garcia, one hand grasping a glass of water while the other wrapped around her stomach. The stomach that would start to swell in a few weeks time. She must have felt Emily’s gaze because blue eyes rose to meet hers and JJ smiled, eyes crinkling around at the corners. The former spy couldn’t help smiling back despite the regret eating away at her heart like acid. 

“She’ll be a good mother. Will’s a lucky man.” The mention of the sandy-haired detective made Emily’s blood boil and she clenched her glass until her knuckles went white. Will-fucking-LaMontagne Jr., the bane of my existence . Will wasn’t a bad guy per say, just not the right one for JJ. Not that Emily thought anyone was good enough for JJ. “Dontcha think?” 

“Huh?” Rossi raised a brow at her as he swirled his scotch. 

“Don’t you think JJ will be a good mother?” Oh. 

“Yeah, totally.” She knew the blonde would be phenomenal. No one else was as loving as JJ or as protective, so yeah, she was going to be the best mom any kid could have. “She’ll be perfect.” Emily slowly sat the glass down, no longer interested in drowning her sorrows in a dive bar when she had perfectly good mind-numbing Absinthe at home. 

“You ever going to tell her that?” 

“Nope,” Emily replied, popping the ‘p’ with more force than necessary. “Tell the others I went home, okay?” With that the agent slid off the barstool and out of the bar silently, praying to any god above that she didn’t stumble. She debated catching a cab versus walking since she had been drinking, and in the end settled on walking in the hopes that the DC chill would make the dizziness fade away. 

Emily reached the end of the block when her name was called and she turned to find Rossi driving toward her in his stupidly expensive Jaguar. 

“I’m taking you home,” he said once he was within distance, his tone brokering no argument. She didn’t bother to try and climbed into the passenger side. The houses and buildings blurred together until they became mansions, and Emily realized she was nowhere near her apartment. When they pulled into Rossi’s driveway she turned to arch a brow at the older man. 

“This is not my apartment, Rossi.” 

“I never said we were going to your apartment,” he replied cheekily. The Italian slid out of his car and Emily followed suit albeit with less grace. 

“No, you said you were taking me home,” she recounted, though followed him up the steps as. 

Rossi craned his neck to look back at her as he unlocked the door. “Yes, but I never said to your home specifically. So, are you coming inside or would you like to sleep in the bushes?” 

“Well, with your wonderful hosting, who could say no?” Emily asked drily, sliding past the man and into his mansion. “Why am I here, exactly?” She watched Rossi drape his suit jacket over the back of a chair and mimicked him as he sat. 

“No one is ever alone after a case. Aaron is with his son, Morgan and Garcia are together, Reid is meeting with his other nerd friends, and Jennifer went home to Will.” His words were like a knife that twisted with each syllable, and she wondered if it showed. “You don’t seem to like Will too much.” 

“I have no opinion,” was the diplomatic answer that sounded more like Ambassador Prentiss than Emily. 

“Now, I don’t believe that. Personally,” the other agent began, “I don’t think he’s right for Jennifer.  She doesn’t love him.” Emily attempted to appear unaffected, but she wasn’t sure how well that worked in her inebriated state. 

“She’s happy.”

“Maybe, but are you?” Rossi countered. Her blood ran cold and her eyes hardened.

“Of course, I’m happy for her.” 

“That’s not what I asked, Emily.” She knew that, and also knew that he wouldn’t like her answer. “Why haven’t you told her?” The brunet choked out a laugh and shook her head.

“Sorry, what should I have said? Hey, JJ, I know we’re supposed to be the best of gal pals , but I think you’re really pretty. Leave your baby’s dad and be with me instead?” She scoffed. “Yeah, that would go over real well.” Rossi was quiet for a few moments and Emily wanted to squirm under his heavy gaze. 

“I had my suspicions when I came back because you two looked at each other a little too long to just be gal pals, as you put it. So, I watched.” Emily listened despite wanting to tune out the useless words. “I doubt the others would recognize that look on your face, except for Aaron maybe, but it was clear as day to me. You love Jennifer, don’t you?” And just like that, every single emotion that Emily Prentiss held under lock and key escaped. The tears started slowly at first, welling up at the bottom of her eyes, and then streamed down her face until she began to sob. 

Emily hated crying, but loathed the action when done in front of people. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop her body’s reaction to being sad. The couch dipped to her life and then a pair of arms were around her shoulders, holding her down. Rossi murmured Italian in her ear that her brain couldn’t bother to translate, but it helped to calm her down enough for the sobs to turn to hiccupping gasps. 

“I love her so much,” she whispered, fingers clutching at Rossi’s dress shirt. Finally saying it out loud was like the anchor unwrapping from her ankle, and she could start swimming to the surface. Emily wasn’t sure how long she cried in Rossi’s arms, but when she slowly sat up her eyes ached almost as bad as her head. 

“Feeling better?” 

She swallowed and honestly said, “Not really.”

“Well, you need to sleep, so maybe the obvious solution will present itself to your eyes.” If she had the willpower, Emily would roll her eyes. Instead, she let Rossi lead her upstairs to a guest bedroom and settled awkwardly on the bed. “I’ll grab you some clothes, make yourself at home, Emily.” She flopped back on the bed and waited, her eyes tracing the pattern on the ceiling. Something landed on her stomach with a barely audible ‘oomph’ and Emily found it to be a pair of sweatpants and a USMC t-shirt. 

“Thanks,” Emily croaked, catching Rossi’s eye before he closed the door. 

“You can thank me by not letting this opportunity pass you by, Emily. Sleep well.” The door shut behind him with a soft click and then she was alone. Huffing to herself, Emily changed into the clothes and observed herself in the bathroom mirror. His sweatpants were a little long on her and the shirt was loose, but they smelled like his aftershave and it comforted her just a bit. 

The young woman climbed back into the large bed and huddled under the thick comforter despite the warm house, and pulled a pillow to her chest. As she closed her eyes, Emily thought about blonde hair and baby blue eyes.

Chapter Text

It was raining. It had begun sprinkling around noon but turned to an ongoing downpour barely an hour later. The sound was comforting, but Emily was not looking forward to leaving the warmth and dryness of the building. She hadn’t thought to bring an umbrella, so the only options were waiting it out or making a run for the subway.  I should have told Rossi to drop me off at home . 

In her defense, Emily had wanted to avoid the older man, but she couldn’t do that considering he had driven. Not unless she wanted to do the walkashame for all his posh neighbors to see. The young agent had allowed him to drive them to work, grateful that he chose not to make awkward small talk on the agonizing trip. 

The building was no better. Morgan was more insufferable than usual with his smug smirk, while Spencer’s usually endearing quirks only prompted the woman’s annoyance to new levels. And gorgeous, pregnant JJ was everywhere. Reaching around her in the break room for saltines or leaning over her desk to set files in front of her, each time leaving behind the stupid perfume she uses.  This must be the stages of grief, huh? I wonder if I can skip bargaining and depression or just hit them both in one go. 

It was nearly nine, the bullpen long since emptied by the souls brave enough to weather the storm which left Emily and Hotch. The brunette had since finished the necessary paperwork for the day and even got a head start on tomorrow’s, but the rain would not let up. 

“Prentiss, can I speak with you for a moment?”  Fuck.  Skulking into the room like a child called to the principal’s office, somewhere Emily spent a lot of time, she stood in front of Hotch’s desk almost nervously.

“Something wrong, sir?” Hotch had this unnerving way of staring someone down, making it feel as if he were looking into their soul. Emily had never felt barer than when this man studied her like Spencer with a puzzle. 

“You tell me,” he finally said. “You snapped at Morgan today and Reid today.” That had not been her crowning moment. 

“You would have too, sir,” she pointed out, trying not to come off rude or belligerent. The two men had been squabbling like children for nearly ten minutes before she said something, so it could have been worse.

“And JJ?”  Fuck.  That had genuinely been an accident. The blonde had been sweet all day, brought Emily a sandwich when she skipped lunch, and even came to collect her finished paperwork. She had leaned over the desk, filling the brunette’s senses with something that was uniquely  JJ , and the older woman had practically exploded. There was no over-the-top yelling, just a hissed request for space that made the mother’s shoulders noticeably drop. Emily wanted to take it back, but everyone knew you couldn’t take back what had already been spoken. 

Hotch was still staring at her. 

“It was an accident,” was all she could say. A horrible accident that she wished she could fix somehow. 

“Is that why you’re still here even though the others left two hours ago?” Emily huffed out a laugh and gestured to his windows, being pelted with no-doubt icy drops of water. 

“I’m hoping to wait out the monsoon, actually, because I caught a ride in today. I doubt I could catch a cab before getting soaked to the bone.” Hotch hummed his acknowledgment but continued to stare outside. 

“It isn’t my business-” Emily sighed.  I love when men start their sentences like that . “-but maybe just tell JJ.” 

“Wait, did Rossi tell you?” Hotch turned back to face her, brows raised in what looked like shock and confusion. 

“What does Dave have to do with this?” Emily could feel her cheeks heat under his inquisitive gaze and begged the earth to swallow her whole.  This is my penance , she thought,  this is my own personal hell.  “Prentiss?”

“Nothing,” she blurted, “Rossi has absolutely nothing to with this.” 

“Ah.” The five seconds of silence were nearly enough to break her spirit. Fidgeting in front of her boss like she was back in high school, caught for smoking or skipping classes, Emily thought about making her escape. 

“If that’s all, sir…” She trailed off, hoping he would get the hint, and thankfully he nodded. Emily spun on her heel, ready to sprint if need be, but was not so lucky. 

“Wait.”  So close.  Turning back around, she was surprised to find Hotch standing with an umbrella outstretched. “Go home. I’ll be fine; I parked in the garage.” 

“I-”

“Just take the umbrella, Emily.” The use of her first name had the woman accepting the item, noting the slight quirk of his lips as she escaped the office. 

Emily gathered her things and headed downstairs, the elevator lagging longer than usual. She waved goodbye to the guard on duty as she stepped outside, shivering as the wind whipped around her. The umbrella was a godsend while waiting for a taxi to stop, but the brunette was nearly frozen by the time she entered her apartment. 

Emily cranked the heat on the way to her bedroom for a scalding shower, breathing a sigh as it warmed up. She absently wondered if this was the start of an actual friendship between her and Hotch. 

Chapter Text

If there was one piece of wisdom that Emily Prentiss stood by, it was, “Fuck Texas.” 

No matter what part of the godforsaken state, Texas sucked. It was hot, there were too many racists, and there were always men with too-big belt buckles telling you how to live your life. The case had come only hours after Emily had left the BAU with Hotch’s umbrella, the woman still half-asleep when she answered Spencer’s call. 

It had been rough. It was a teenage spree killer in a small town who did not deserve the fate he had been served. He did wrong, but Emily would be lying if she said she didn’t understand his reasoning. The ride back to their hotel was quiet, her and Morgan in the middle while JJ and Spencer took the back. The two had stuck together since Boy Genius took a risk with speaking to the unsub, not that they knew why. Emily could tell he needed it. 

The group parted ways to their rooms as soon as the car was parked, but Emily took her sweet time. In the days that they’d been in Texas, she hadn’t found the time to apologize to JJ. Whenever they were alone, it was always spent sleeping, and once morning rolled around, the blonde always found a reason to leave. Not that Emily blamed her one bit. 

Finally, the brunette couldn’t take the chilly air and made her way to their shared room. JJ had her back to the door when she stepped inside and visibly tensed when the lock click shut. The awkward silence between them was deafening as Emily rooted through her go-bag. 

“Fuck,” she muttered. Aside from a pair of underwear, Emily was out of clean clothes. Everything inside the bag was not for reuse, smelling of sweat and stale coffee, which meant sleeping in her current outfit or naked.  Yeah, fuck Texas. 

“Emily?” 

The brunette cleared her throat. “Y-yeah?” 

“You okay?”  No, I am not okay. I am trapped in goddamn Texas with no clothes, and you looking at me with your stupid baby blues. 

“Yeah, just forgot to switch out my clothes after the last case,” she grumbled, inches from crying at the subsequent minor inconvenience. “Think anything is open now?” It wasn’t a genuine question because she already knew the answer, but JJ fell silent. Emily’s hands shook as she looked through the mess of clothes again, but a soft ‘thump’ to her left startled her upcoming anxiety. It was a soft, blue sweater. JJ had started wearing it once her pregnancy was revealed, and it was beautiful against her unblemished skin. 

“I don’t have any pants,” the blonde stated, “but I guess it’s better than nothing? I’m going to take a quick shower, let you change.” Emily watched JJ gather her own clothes and head for the bathroom but found herself calling out. 

“I’m sorry.” JJ turned to glance over her shoulder, eyes narrowed. 

“For?”  God, she’s gonna make me work for it. 

“For snapping. I shouldn’t have, and I regret it immensely.” Like a switch, JJ smiled and tossed her hair over one shoulder. 

“I figured you would break eventually. I got over it almost immediately, Em.” 

“Ah, so I’ve been stewing in my guilt for nearly four days, great.”

JJ rolled her eyes. “You can’t tell me you didn’t deserve it.”  Touche.  While the blonde occupied herself with their small shower, Emily stripped off her clothes and replaced them with the sweater. It was long on her as it was on JJ, reaching just low enough that her panties were covered unless she bent over. The blue was a lovely contrast with her just as it was JJ, though the blonde would always be prettier. Emily was so wrapped up in her own reflection that she didn’t hear the shower turn off, but she  did  hear a choked gasp behind her. 

“Hng…” The brunette spun around and resisted the urge to tug the hem lower under the other woman’s gaze. 

“You okay, JJ?” The blonde flushed her cheeks a lovely shade of red and glanced away. Emily’s eyes traced the droplets of water that trailed down her neck and then froze as she reached the pale pink sleep shorts. They rested shorter than the sweater but looked so damn good against the younger woman’s alabaster skin. Emily couldn’t help but stare. 

“I’m good; sleep tight, Em.” Her voice was oddly high-pitched as she climbed beneath her duvet, leaving the brunette confused as she followed suit. 

The blanket was too scratchy, the AC loud in comparison to JJ’s soft breathing, and it was all too much. When she managed to drift off, Emily dreamed of the future. She saw herself as Hotch, divorced and alone because the job became her life; she would be trapped in a non-stop circle of catch a case, catch the killer, repeat. 

Everyone else would escape. Spencer would be pursuing further studies or even teaching himself something to exercise that big brain and even find his happy ending. Hopefully, Morgan and Garcia would discover theirs as well, whether with each other or someone else. Hotch would have his son and maybe a new wife if his ex never came around. Rossi would keep writing to keep his own demons at bay, not that they would ever indeed go away no matter how many stories he published. JJ. Sweet, beautiful JJ would be the best wife and mother, two or three tiny blondes running around. She could give up this life; the blonde wasn’t too far in yet. JJ still had a chance at a good life. 

Emily found herself waking up to a soft rustling. The former spy had grown accustomed to being a light sleeper with the CIA, and it stuck around. The brunette reached for and her sidearm but paused when the hotel room was bathed in the soft glow. 

“JJ?” 

“You’re an idiot, Emily Prentiss.” The younger woman tossed her blankets back and climbed up to straddle the brunette’s waist with more grace than a pregnant woman should have. 

“Alright.” Emily’s hands twitched at her sides. 

“I have dropped hints, I’ve worn the bare minimum when we share a room, and yet you still haven’t realized it yet,” she hissed. The profiler had no idea what JJ was talking about, the warmth of the blonde in her lap not helping at all. 

“What am I supposed to know?” Her voice was still rough with sleep, not that it seemed to matter. JJ stared down at her and then slowly leaned forward until the two were only mere inches apart, blonde hair falling around them as Emily was surrounded by her fellow agent in every sense. She could feel their shared heat and something that sizzled in the air like a lit fuse, electrifying their little bubble. 

“You’re supposed to know that I love you, idiot.” 

If asked, Emily would deny the sound that came out of her throat. It was a cross between a sob and moan, but it was cut off when she surged upward to kiss JJ. The profiler had never believed that the world stopped with the right person, but at that moment, it felt like  hers  did. Someone was crying, probably both of them, but it was perfect for her. 

It was nothing more than a press of lips, but it was the culmination from months of pining for Emily. She poured everything into the gesture and prayed that the message was received. She wanted the other woman to feel it in her soul the way Emily did and wanted to see if the blonde shared the sleepless nights plagued by unrealistic dreams. 

JJ was the one to pull away, her face flushed and eyes dark, and the brunette was sure she looked the same. 

“I love you too,” Emily whispered, foreheads pressed together. “I love you so much, and I’m so sorry. I should have said something sooner.” Delicate hands cradled her face. 

“Sleep, and we’ll talk in the morning. I love you, and it will be okay,” JJ replied before giving her another quick kiss. “I’m not going anywhere.” Despite that reassurance, Emily held her tighter than she actually needed when she curled into her side. One hand rested over her heart, easily felt even through the sweater, and it kept her at the moment.  Maybe Texas isn’t too bad. 

Chapter Text

The next time Emily woke up, she was alone. The blankets were thrown back where JJ had been, cool air brushing against her bare skin from where the sweater rode up. The brunette blinked rapidly and willed herself not to cry. Emily had hoped it wasn’t a dream, that JJ really did love her, but here she was. Alone in the hotel room. It wasn’t morning yet, no sunlight visible through the curtains, but the moonlight made it visible enough to see the bathroom door creak open. 

“Em?” She sat up and found the other woman standing in the doorway to the bathroom. Her skin was tinged pink, and steam billowed from the room behind her, and that’s when Emily realized she was clad only in a tiny hotel towel. Her cheeks heated, and she quickly averted her gaze. “Emily, are you okay?” 

“I thought you left,” she murmured. JJ’s eyes became impossibly soft, and she moved forward to sit by Emily’s side. 

“I told you I wasn’t going to leave, and I meant it.” Their fingers intertwined, the profiler leaned forward to wrap her free hand around JJ’s waist. Careful not to hurt her, Emily tugged the blonde until she could hover over her. 

“You can touch.” That simple permission was enough. Emily brushed the back of her hand against JJ’s cheek and down to rest above her heart. She felt the skin beneath her fingers, the beating rapid as both breathed heavily. 

“What does this mean?” The brunette didn’t need to clarify. 

“What do you want it to mean?” 

“I love you.” JJ smiled and leaned up for a gentle kiss. It was almost enough to distract Emily from the reality of their situation. Almost. 

“What about Will?” The blonde sighed, minty breath fanning across her face, and let her head fall back against the pillow. 

“Will is in New Orleans, where he will stay. We agreed that the child will know him and that he’ll pay child support, but he doesn’t want to relocate up here,” she explained, shrugging. “If the kid wants to visit when they’re older, we’ll discuss it then. For all intents and purposes, Will was just the sperm donor.” 

“So you’re going to be a single parent?” Emily asked, fingertips tracing over the woman’s breast in absent circles. 

“I guess, but I already know this baby will have the best family. Three wonderful uncles, Spence as the loving godparent alongside Pen, and then you.” JJ was leaving it in her hands. They had just confessed their feelings; she didn’t expect Emily to dive straight into being a mom as well. The hand moved lower and rested protectively on the slight swell of her stomach. 

“I don’t know where we’re going,” she confessed, “but I’ll never leave you.  Either  of you.” Whether they were meant to be forever, Emily would never abandon her best friend. The spy slid off the bed when JJ shivered and quickly grabbed a shirt. She awkwardly turned around while her...girlfriend(?) got dressed and then realized that the blonde was wearing  her  button-up. 

“Thanks,” JJ whispered once she climbed back into the bed. Emily leaned forward, hesitant, and then wrapped her arms around the smaller woman. “I love you, Emily Prentiss.” 

“I didn’t think this was an option for me. I never thought you would want me, you know?” JJ tucked her head into the crook of the spy’s neck. 

“I’ve wanted you from the start,” she confessed, her lips moving against her neck. “I thought you understood, but it doesn’t matter now. All that matters is that we’re together now.” Emily kissed the top of her head, heartbeat thundering her ears. 

“Are we?” The spy asked. “Are we  together ?” JJ shifted back and propped herself up on one arm, smiling softly down at Emily. 

“Em, honey, I don’t confess my love to just anyone. This is different and scary, a relationship on top of pregnancy, but I’m willing to try if you are.” There was nothing but sincerity in her words, and Emily grinned back. 

“Are you asking me to be your baby daddy, Jen?” The blonde guffawed and slapped her chest, the profiler giggling as well. “I’m sure I can teach the little Jaraues how to play catch or drive the minivan to soccer practice.” JJ fell silent, and the way she looked at Emily made the brunette feel as if she said the wrong thing.

“Emily Jareau sounds pretty good to me.” 

“Prentiss-Jareau,” she corrected, “Emily Prentiss-Jareau. If I’m raising kids, they’re gonna have the best of both worlds.” God, the thought of  their  kids, was enough to make her glow with future pride. 

“I think we can leave this discussion for later; I’m content to just be with you for right now.” JJ moved back into her side, and they laid like that, basking in their bubble of new love until someone’s alarm began to go off. Neither made any move to get out of bed until Hotch’s usual wake-up knock, and they separated almost mournfully. 

Emily snuck glances as they finished getting dressed. She couldn’t keep her eyes off the blonde wearing her shirt but at least tried to remain respectful. The women packed their things and joined the team downstairs to head back to the airport, Emily just behind her girlfriend and to the left. That didn’t stop her from staring until Rossi caught her eye, the smirking bastard. 

The older man was unbearably smug while they boarded the jet and even went as far to obviously hand Hotch a fifty-dollar bill. It was only eight am, everyone still half-asleep aside from Hotch, a certified robot, so Emily settled on the couch. She intended to get some more sleep now that her mind was settled, and it seemed JJ had the same idea. 

The blonde had no problem sinking into the cushions between Emily’s legs once she leaned back against the arm of the couch and rested her head against the older woman’s chest. One of the spy’s hands came to rest on top of JJ’s hand, choosing to dive right in. The team already assumed they were in love, and now they were right, so they may as well enjoy it. Emily traced absent shapes across her skin and then a slow I L-O-V-E Y-O-U that made the other woman smile and blush beautifully. 

The ride from Texas to D.C. was reasonably quick, only four hours, and then they were home. As Emily retrieved her go-bag, Morgan and Spencer slid up beside her and held their hands up for high-fives. 

“Congrats to both of you; we’ve been waitin’ for a while,” he teased. “Unfortunately, Pretty Boy and I now owe my baby girl fifty bucks. I say it’s worth it, though.” Hotch was next. He wasn’t exactly smiling, but there was an apparent levity to his words. 

“I’ll see you two tomorrow to disclose the relationship, congratulations.” Lastly, Rossi. Stupidly smug, grandpa Rossi. He embraced Emily as her father would, warm and smelling of cigars and sandalwood, and she almost fell into it. 

While hugging, he whispered against her ear, “I told you that you weren’t going to want to miss this opportunity. I’m happy for you.” The women were the last to leave with Emily carrying both bags to the parking lot where JJ’s car waited. Neither could stop the smiles that threatened to become permanent fixtures on their faces. 

“You know, it’s only noon, so we have the rest of the day to ourselves,” Emily hummed. She didn’t dare mention the possibility of another case popping up. The blonde made a point of thanking her words over and then smiled as they stopped at the passenger side. 

“What about lunch? We can decide who’s taking whose last name over food.” Her words were joking, but Emily was 100% serious. She would change her name if that’s what the liaison wanted. The brunette opened the door for her and bent down to kiss her slowly, savoring the contact, before stepping back. 

“Let’s see how well you can argue your case, Agent Jareau.” 

Inside the car, JJ’s fingers immediately grasped her own over the console, and to Emily, it felt strange and different in the best way. To her, JJ was like a new adventure and returning home all in one. They were the same people they had always been, but now they would grow and evolve together. With love came a journey that Emily had never been on, but she was more than willing to travel that road with Jennifer Jareau.  No matter where it leads.