Chapter Text
My brother and I have always been very different. He's always been loud, easy to make friends, easy to make enemies, always getting in trouble, never worrying, making our parents worry a lot.
I have always been quiet, worrying too much. Making everything so difficult. I know that people always say that everybody cares, even a tiny bit down deep, that no one is totally cool with everything as they pretend to be, but some people really seem not to care a tiny bit. My brother seems not to care. Sure, he cares about me, he cares about his friends, but he doesn't let people, society and all this get to him. He has always been his real self, or so he gets us all to believe. I do believe, I wouldn't make much sense for him to make such an exhausting character up. At least it seemed exhausting to me, to be talking to people all the time, and being the center of attention at parties, or at pretty much any moment in school, and mainly to be jumping all the time. His energy seemed to never end.
– Wake up, sleepyhead!! – I hear him saying as he materializes at my room's door.
– I am awake... – I say, sat on my bed, with my phone on my hand, scrolling my Instagram's feed endless and pointlessly. – What is it? Blind or just daft? – I ask and duck just in time to dodge the pillow he throws at me. – Fuck off. – I say, laughing.
He puts a hand on his chest, falsely gasping. – Oh, My, you offend me!
– Get outta here.
– My, who hurt you? – He could barely hold the laughter. "My" was how he used to call me sometimes, when he was impersonating some of these random personalities of his. "My", short for "Mike", which is short for "Mikey", which is short for "Michael", which is my name.
– Capitalism hurt me.
– Ok, we're gonna be late to school. Get out, My Way. – Michael Way, My Way... he really enjoyed making these bad puns, I hated them, but they were so bad I couldn't help but to laugh.
It was nice to have him around. I didn't usually laugh except in those moments, when we were messing around. In any other moment, when he was with his friends, I kept a low profile, didn't have any friends, didn't really call anyone's attention, which was fine. I liked not having the attention on my, I just minded my own business and hoped everybody else would to the same, rather than come and mind me. And I, actually, did have a friend, Gerard was my friend. We talked, we shared, but why then couldn't I help feeling insecure? It scared me to depend on only one person, and one who didn't depend on my as much. He has his friends, he has his life, his routine, and at the end of the day it was to them he went, and I once again went to the corner, trying to disappear.
I didn't blame him, though. I totally understood, it was normal for us to have different social cycles –except that I didn't have a cycle, of course–, after all, we had three years between us, he was the older, cool brother and I was the younger, weird one.
***
School was the same boring thing of always, at least today was the only day in the whole week in which I didn't have any Nature Sciences' class nor math. I hated them the most.
As usual, I was sat at a table at the back of the cafeteria, earphones on. I liked it in here; from here I could see the whole space, see everyone. I realized my brother wasn't in the cafeteria, which was odd, since eating time was his favorite time at school (at least in this we were just like one another). What was taking him so long? And then, there it was, the cafeteria doors opened, and I saw him walking in, his bright red hair announcing his arrival. With him, as always, were Frank and Ray, his clique, they were always together. But this time there was another person with them.
It is the new guy. Yeah, I remember someone talking about it, there is a new guy in school and maybe he was going to be in my class. I could only look at the new guy. Even my brother's bright hair seemed to fade away. I stare at this new guy, who is talking cheerfully with my brother and looking all around, he has an excited look in his eyes, he is excited about this new school, which is odd enough.
He looks everywhere, every corner, until his look reaches mine. He looks in my direction and I am staring directly to him. I look down as fast as I can. Did he realize I was looking at him? Of course he did! I would be impossible not to have realized. Oh my god, I'm a mess.
Moments later, as I sit on my usual place at the back corner of the class, waiting for the class to begin, I see the new guy entering the room, just behind the teacher.
– Good morning, class, we have a new student joining us. Mr... – the teacher pauses for a moment as he reads searches for the new student's name. The teacher isn't old, but the deep lenses of his glasses, his efford to read anything more than ten centimeters far from him and his lack of manners with technology did make him look like he is.
– Brendon Urie, sir. – The guy standing in front of the class says timidly, but the teacher doesn't hear him and keeps on searching his name.
– Brendon! Brendon Urie! Make sure to receive well our new partner Brendon Urie, and help him get used to the routine here. It's always harder when you begin when the semester's already begun.
He is standing there, in front of the class all the while the teacher is speaking, with a smile in his face. I would die if I had to stand in front of everyone, all of the eyes on me. Yet, there he was, smiling! How could he manage to do it. Once again, he was looking around the room, and, once again, eventually his eyes caught mine. This time, I didn't think fast enough to look down in time and before I could look anywhere else, he smiled, and nodded at me.
– You can sit now, dear.
There were a few vacant seats on class, but he walked all the way from the front of the class to the back and sat by my side.
– Hi, my name's Brendon – he said and stretched his hand to me.