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Byleth knew exactly where to find him.
The wooden training dummies were sprawled on the floor, some of them missing limbs while others had been completely pulverized into nothing more than sawdust and cloth. Felix was still going at it, his hair plastered to his face with sweat. The teal of his coat was muted by dust and other filth.
He turned when he heard the click of her boots against the floor. "You," he snarled, and though the rough sound wasn't unexpected, it still made Byleth a little sad. It had been some time since he’d used that voice with her. "Spar with me."
She knew this was coming. He was using live steel, so she would, too. The Sword of the Creator was on her belt, but she ignored it in favor of a simple iron sword, wanting to give him the illusion of a fairer fight. Instead of responding verbally, she fell into a stance.
The curl of his lip was ugly; she knew he was seeing nothing but the grief and anger swirling within him.
Clang. Their swords crashed together in a cacophony that Byleth knew well, but the sound was discordant. She knew that Felix was running on pure adrenaline and the awful rush of feelings he couldn't tamp down even though his body was visibly weary, and it was making his fighting erratic.
Clang. Sometimes they got so close in their struggle that she could see the sweat on his face, but she couldn't be so sure that some of it wasn't tears. Maybe he’d cried when no one was around. His expression was unreadable, a rictus of a grimace that Byleth never wanted to see again.
Clang. With one last, glancing blow, Byleth knocked the sword out of Felix's hands and pushed him to the ground. He tried to keep fighting, digging his nails into her arms, but she shook her head, ignoring the blood she could feel welling up beneath his fingertips.
"It's done, Felix," Byleth said, her voice soft. "We're done for today."
He loosened his grip on her even as he scoffed, his head lolling to the side. Some of his hair had escaped from his ponytail and was loose in the dirt. He was filthy, still wearing the coat that had his father's blood on it.
"Will you come with me?" Byleth asked, her voice soft.
"Where?" Felix replied after a long silence, his voice hoarse. He still wasn't looking at her.
"I want to do something for you," Byleth said, a non-answer, before getting up and offering him a hand.
He didn’t take her hand, but he slowly stood up, making a point not to dust himself off. "Fine."
They walked in silence. It was late enough that there weren't many people out, and those who were out didn't disturb them. The news from the battlefront had long spread throughout the monastery: Lord Rodrigue was dead. Everyone knew what Felix was like on a good day, so this was certainly not the day to bother him.
Byleth led Felix to the third floor, unlocking Rhea's room easily. It was as pristine as she'd left it, thanks to Cyril. Seteth had given Byleth the key so she could use the room as she wished, but she had never used it before. It had felt wrong, like she was blaspheming or trespassing, but caring for Felix was far more important to Byleth than keeping some room clean.
Felix stayed just in front of the threshold, glaring into the darkness of the room. "What are you trying to do?" he asked, his voice accusatory.
"You need a bath," Byleth replied calmly, opening the door and stepping inside so Felix could follow her. "We can use the private bath in here so you can take your time."
Felix balked at that, his cheeks and the tips of his ears turning red. "I don’t need your help to bathe," he barked, making Byleth glance around frantically before physically pulling him into the room, shutting the door behind him. It was far past most people’s bedtimes and she didn't want to disturb anyone. Seteth wouldn’t mind her using the room, but Cyril would.
"I want you to relax," Byleth explained, crossing the room and opening a door that led to a huge bathroom with a dragon claw-footed tub that could easily fit two people in it. There was a skylight, letting in pale moonlight at a poor angle. Most of the bathroom was still dark, but it was enough for Byleth to see by. "Please let me do this for you."
Felix just stood there, staring at the moonlight spangling off the dragon's gold claws.
"Please," Byleth whispered, stepping closer and tucking a loose lock of hair behind his ear. It was oily, making Felix bat her hand away with a touch of embarrassment.
"Let me take care of you," she said quietly, but she knew he heard the slight pleading in her voice. He huffed a heavy sigh and began to undo the laces of his coat.
Byleth filled up the tub as he undressed, adding a touch of lavender oil to the water. She took off her boots and her coat before laying her weapons belt on top before crossing the room to rummage in the cabinets.
"Aren't you getting undressed?" Felix asked her, untying his thigh high boots.
"No," she said, laying out some fluffy towels and retrieving some glass bottles. "This is for you, Felix."
He grumbled as the bathroom grew hot with steam. Finally, he was naked, standing there with his arms crossed. His body was covered in dried blood, most of which Byleth knew wasn't his, but her heart still hurt to see him in such a state.
"Sit," she commanded, pointing to a small stool near the tub. He obediently did as she said, the exhaustion finally beginning to win out. She could see it in the way his body sagged as he sat.
Byleth used a soft cloth covered in soapy foam on his body, rubbing gentle circles on his skin, starting with his neck and moving down. She could feel the knots under his skin, the nervous energy that fueled him making everything tight and probably painful. She made a note to take care of that later; for now, she focused on cleaning the blood, dirt, and dust off of him. She took care to clean out her blood from beneath his fingernails. She was fairly sure he hadn’t even noticed he’d drawn blood since he hadn’t mentioned it.
She poured shampoo in her hands and started by finger combing his hair, getting rid of most of the bigger tangles before massaging his scalp. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back as she worked her fingers through his locks, skillfully using her strength to help him release the tension in his scalp. His eyes were screwed shut, but she saw a few tears leak from beneath his eyelids; she dropped a gentle kiss on his forehead.
She used a gentle oil on his face, rubbing his skin with her fingertips. She paused for a moment, then let her fingers play gently over his cheekbones, the line of his nose, his chin. She watched as the furrows between his eyebrows unknit and the hard tension in his jawline relax. She kissed his forehead again before softly nudging him to lift his head.
The water she poured on him as hot but not scalding. She lovingly stroked his skin as the suds washed away, splashing on her stockinged feet.
"You should relax in the tub now," she finally told him, gathering up the bottles again to put them away.
He grabbed her shoulder, his eyes determined even behind his deep eyebags. "Get in with me."
Byleth was still mostly dressed, though her clothes had gotten wet. "This was for you," she explained, shaking her head. "I just wanted you to feel a little better."
"I'll feel better if you join me. …Please," he finally whispered, and the grief in his gaze made Byleth give in.
He insisted on curling himself around her, his chest to her back. He held her in the lavender-scented hot water, Byleth gently massaging the parts of him she could reach.
"You don't have to talk about Rodrigue until you're ready," Byleth murmured, her hands rotating one of his hands at the wrist to stretch out the joint. His calluses made his hands rough, but they matched hers perfectly. She hoped her hands had felt nice against him, despite their hard texture.
Felix made a noncommittal noise into the back of her neck.
"Just know that I love you," Byleth continued, bringing his hand up for a kiss, "and that I'll be by your side, no matter what."
Felix made another noise, but she felt his little nod against her back. That would do for now.
Both of them were pruny when she finally got him to get out of the bath, drying him off with one of the fluffy towels she had prepared. She made a quick mental apology to Rhea as she rummaged around her wardrobe, finally finding some simple cotton robes that would work as sleepwear.
She brushed Felix's hair as it dried, letting her own hair snarl around her shoulders. Felix’s hair hung dark and heavy around his shoulders, but it gleamed in the light as she worked a light oil into it.
Rhea's bed was far more comfortable than any of the beds in the former students' rooms, and Felix groaned when he got into it. Byleth wondered what that groan meant, but she could tell he was fading fast even as he reached for her, gathering her in his arms.
She watched him as he slept, leaving feather-light touches along his skin in the hopes that it would keep the nightmares at bay. It was almost daylight when she finally slept, the sun beginning to kiss the sky as the stars shied away.
She couldn't bring back his father. She'd tried and failed, just like she had with her own. It made her feel helpless, but what she could do was show him her love. She could only hope that was enough.