Chapter Text
Bang Chan was ready, his bare arms burned from all the small scraps of sand hitting them but he loved it, he felt so alive, more alive now than he has felt in a long time. Mars had been his home, but, it was crawling with the ghosts of his failures, it got into his head and ripped him apart, he thought he would die in that city, but, Felix had showed him something he forgot. Life. He forgot what living felt like, but, he was feeling it, searing his chest with the impossible love of existence, he wanted to live, he wanted to live for as long as he could, he wanted to get to thirty, forty, fifty, he wanted to be old, grey, he wanted to live until he couldn't live anymore. He felt free, reborn, hysterical and happy. Leaving Mars was a fresh start, he remembered the smile on Jisung's face when he told him he was leaving. Jisung looked so proud and held him with tenderness he hadn't allowed himself to be held with since his brother died.
"I'm so glad. I'm so happy, God, Chan. I'm so proud."
He never realised how much Jisung cared for him. He wished he hadn't been such an awful friend after his brother died. After he got kicked out of the Academy. After...well, after everything.
He would make it up to Jisung one day.
"We're almost here." Changbin said, Bang Chan nodded, holding tighter onto the smaller man, Felix chipped out a happy "yay!" and clung tighter to Bang Chan's waist.
The ship wasn't large, it was small, built for speed and evasion, it looked like it would fit four people at most, Bang Chan knew there was definitely more than four people.
Hyunjin, Seungmin, Changbin, Felix and himself, over his phone call with Hyunjin he had been informed of another member, Hyunjin said he was a thief, one reccomend to him through a trusted friend, Bang Chan trusted Hyunjin's judgement, and knew if this mysterious member caused any problems Seungmin and Changbin could quickly get rid of them easily.
Coming in closer, the trio got off the bike, Changbin pushing it towards the ships mouth which was opening to allow entrance. Bang Chan and Felix taking a slower pace, glancing at Felix Bang Chan grabbed his hand in comfort. He had been shaking. Felix glanced at their entwined hands, his breathing evening out, he lifted his head, an unheard "thank you" was shared through his eyes. Bang Chan gave a small smile, before bracing himself to go into the ship.
Inside was more spacious than he had expected, right from the mouth led to a control room, where everyone was situated, Changbin had wandered off with his motorcycle, Seungmin was leaning at the side, he politely smiled at Felix and gave Bang Chan a more genuine one. Felix gave Bang Chan a panicked look, misreading the look to be a bad thing, Bang Chan gave a small shake of his head.
Hyunjin had got up from his seated position at one of the controls, his long legs moving easily across the room, bringing Bang Chan into a suffocating hug.
"Channie, it's been too long!" Hyunjin leaned back, still holding Bang Chan in a vice grip.
"Oh my, you look so much less dead than last time, your bags are barely noticeable and you only have a few new scars, I'm impressed!" Hyunjin gave a sunny smile, his backhand compliment was noticed and ignored as Bang Chan gave a hearty slap on the taller man's back.
"Nice to see you again Hyunjin," he replied, a small smile on his face, "this is Felix, he's my...uh, friend and-"
"You've already told me about him, hello Felix, I'm Hyunjin, I'm this ships captain, you've already met Changbin on the way here, this," he swooped his arm towards Seungmin who gave a deer-in-a-spotlight look before raising his hand slightly, his face going back to polite blankness. "Is my fiance Seungmin. You'll both be meeting Lee Know in a moment, Changbin is getting him." Hyunjin gave another sweet smile, nodding towards a table with several small pastries.
Bang Chan and Felix moved towards the food, Felix was still tense but he grabbed a small fruit pasty and nibbled on it, eyes wide, glancing at Seungmin and Hyunjin, back to the door where Changbin disappeared then at Chan himself.
Chan gave his friend a small pat on his shoulder, silently comforting him. Despite his friends earlier confidence, he had never been off Mars and unlike Chan, he had never met these people, he was scared, Chan felt guilty for putting his friend in this position.
"Hey Feli-" he started.
"Ah, Lee Know, these were the people I was talking about," Bang Chan saw Felix's face turn confused as he was turning, when he caught sight of who "Lee Know" was he understood.
Bang Chan hadn't expected Minh- Lee Know. He hadn't expected Lee Know to be on the ship, he never thought he would come back to Mars. But, Chan never guessed he'd ever leave to be fair. His face had gone unassuming, blank, like they had never met before this. Felix was confused, about to speak, Chan stepped forward.
"I'll look forward to working with you Lee Know, I'm Bang Chan and this is Felix. I hope we get along."
Lee Know gave a charming smile, one he hadn't seen since the day Chan had met him, it hurt his chest.
"Likewise, Bang Chan, Felix, I'm sure we will become good business partners."
And, oh, ouch. He...he probably deserved that.
"No, no talk of business partners, on my ship we will be a family," Hyunjin butted in, his arms waving into a cross sign, "anyways, Bang Chan, Felix, I hope you don't mind that you will be sharing a room, this is a small ship and we only have so many rooms. You two are best friends so I'm assuming that is fine?"
Bang Chan saw the slight tightening of Lee Know's expression as Bang Chan nodded, Felix was still giving Lee Know an odd look but nodded when Chan did.
"That will be fine" he said, giving Hyunjin a smile.
"Good, Lee Know, show them their room please!" Hyunjin waved towards where the rooms would be, Lee Know gave a small nod and turned around, expecting to be followed. Bang Chan followed immediately, Felix a split second after.
Their bedroom was the second door, next to Changbin and opposite Lee Know, before Chan could get a word out he walked into his own room, shutting the door with a resounding thump.
"Chan, wasn't that Juyeon? From Dark Matters?" Felix asked, voice small. It took a second for Chan's brain to start functioning.
"Yeah, Juyeon...Juyeon...yeah. Just, don't tell anyone, okay. He has his reasons why he...he said to call him Lee Know so, so let's respect that, okay Lix?" Bang Chan hoped his voice didn't betray his panic, looking at Felix's sceptical but accepting expression, he felt his breath ease.
"Okay. I just...I know he hurt you, I don't know what he did but, I remember how you were when you came back after that month you went missing Chan. I saw you drink yourself to sleep, crying over him, I know it was him. I know, I know you said you didn't want to talk about it but, I don't want you to get hurt again. We left Mars because it hurt you, it just...it just feels like we went from one painful place to a different painful place and...I just want you to be happy Chan, you deserve it, even if you think you don't. I hate seeing the world hurt you so much, it makes me so angry and sad." Felix's eyes were bright, sincere and they made Chan hurt, but, it wasn't bad. He felt loved, he couldn't stop his body from crushing Felix into a hug, trying to make it so Felix felt his thank and to soothe his friends worries.
"It's okay now Lix, but, thank you for caring. Thank you so much." He said, voice wet.
But he also felt so guilty, he hadn't been the one hurt between him and Lee Know. He had been the horrible, horrible heartbreaker.