Work Text:
(But thou hast not called upon me; but thou hast been weary of me.)
It seemed impossible that there could be a south to go to. East, south: those were for different men in different lands, men who could turn and put the sun behind them.
John's hands shook as Farr handed him the compass box. He removed the lid and watched the needle spin: it was idle, languid; it did not point him anywhere. He slid the cover pack in place, and tucked it in his sack. It did as much work there as in his hands.
We'll go south, he'd said, as if that were a place; walk half an hour, as if time meant anything here; then turn back, as if there were anywhere else to turn. Even the ships were gone now. Fort Resolution was south: and then, to home? Home was east. The sun would rise in the east, if he were home. The sun was overhead, here, and never set, and never set.
He watched as Hickey took the lead, walking over the shale, into the sun. It was unnatural that he should follow where Hickey led. It was unnatural that a place without darkness could be so cold. John shivered.
A way in the sea and a path in the mighty waters and the crunch of rocks underfoot. He was cold, and he was hungry, and he was very far from home. There were no sons and daughters here; no nations assembled. Only dead men, and frightened men; only trespassers.
Lieutenant, Hickey called. He was not so far ahead; his voice came from very far away. John hurried to his side.
His telescope nearly fumbled through his fingers, so quickly he pulled it from his pocket. He could hear the wind rush around them; he could hear the click– click– of the telescope expanding. He could hear his own breath, and Farr's, and Hickeys. He could not hear the footsteps down below, or the drag of a sled over shale; he could not hear speech, although the figures bent toward one another.
The figures. The men, below. The sled they hauled behind them. They did not hurry; they moved with purpose; they were not lost.
My God, he said. A prayer, in those two words; that word and that name. Stay here, he said. He stepped forward, and then went down. A blessing; a direction; a path. He knew now which way he faced. South: toward help, toward food, toward home.
(Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee — )
