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I liked a boy when I was 10.
He smiled a lot and loved cake as much as I did.
We talked all the time, about games and sports and our favourite TV shows.
I once tried to hold his hand.
He told me;
"Boys don't do that to other boys."
And he talked to me less and less until there was nothing at all.
---
I liked a girl when I was 13.
We dated for a little while.
She took me to a café, she bought me cake and she looked so serious.
She told me;
"I'm sorry I can't be with someone who is more like a girl than I am."
So I hid my animal print socks and my pastel shirts and rainbow shoes.
We stayed friends for a while afterwards but not any more.
---
I liked a boy when I was 14.
I hid myself because I didn't want to be girly.
We watched movies and played games.
He found my jewellery and my old colourful clothes.
He told me;
"You're so weird, what kind of guy has clothes like this? You dress like a child."
He didn't keep in contact with me after we went to different schools.
---
I liked a boy when I was 15.
I still do.
I didn't want to hide any more. He asked me out and I said yes. Even if he seemed so monotone, so stiff and proper with his glasses.
He was beautiful and I was scared.
We dated, the first time I came to him I wore my shortest shorts and my loudest socks and my most colourful shoes.
I bore my soul to him, said silently 'if you want to be with me you'll have to take all of me.'
He looked at my outfit up and down.
He remained silent for a moment.
He told me;
"But surely you're cold dressed like that. I won't have you freezing to death on our first date; that would not be beautiful."
He took me to the shopping centre and he bought me a penguin print jacket and rainbow leg-warmers.
I have never been happier.