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atsumu was a man of few regrets, always acting in a way that would get him what he wanted. he had worked hard in his high school volleyball career and was able to graduate with no lingering feelings. going to his dream school in osaka, he studied law and was eventually scouted by a highly respected law firm upon graduation.
he was now 24, living in tokyo as a lawyer and he couldn’t have been happier. or at least, he shouldn’t have been. atsumu had recently just won a huge case and was out celebrating with a few of his other friends from work. there was absolutely no reason for him to feel this way but he couldn’t help but feel empty, as if he was missing something. atsumu didn’t want to be a damper to the rest of his ecstatic co-workers and had left the izakaya they were celebrating at under the pretense of wanting to sleep. he let his mind wander as his feet took him to places unknown
what was it that he was missing? why did he feel this way? it’s not as if he was doing anything wrong, but he just felt so confused. was he jealous of someone? no, he didn’t feel like anyone had something he didn’t.
atsumu sighed. snapping out of his daze, he noticed a cafe that osamu had recommended to him a few weeks back. atsumu usually wouldn’t eat sugar after 9 pm but made a spur of the moment decision to enter. what he wasn’t expecting to see was the same curly-haired spiker that plagued his dreams in his second year of high school.
right in front of him, standing in line, was sakusa kiyoomi. atsumu’s first reaction was of pure shock. after all, he hadn’t seen sakusa since their last spring high at nationals. his shock slowly morphed into a grin. he was wearing a beige scarf over a black turtle neck and a long brown jacket. grey sweats that fit his toned legs nicely with a pair of simple black sneakers and his signature mask. the more atsumu stared at sakusa, the more he noticed about how he changed. he noticed that he had gotten slightly taller. his shoulders were broader, his arms looked like they had a bit more muscle to them. his face had matured extremely well and was now more handsome than intimidating. the curly locks on his head were shorter with one side slicked back. he definitely looked way more tired and anyone could tell by the eye bags underneath his murky green eyes. overall, time had treated sakusa kiyoomi extremely well.
sakusa finally noticed who was blatantly staring at himself and turned all the way around to face atsumu. there was a second of shock before his eyes softened slightly into what atsumu could’ve sworn was happiness.
“hey there omi-kun!”
“miya,”
oh, how he missed that voice. he would never admit it but he had actually missed the prickly wing spiker. there was just something in their incessant bickering and banter that made atsumu’s heart warm.
“how’ve ya been omi-kun? i haven’t seen ya since the spring high!”
“don’t call me that,” he loooked at atsumu’s head. “i must say that discovering toner did wonders to your already dead hair,”
atsumu laughed and unconsciously brought his hand up to his hair. sakusa was right, after all, his mustard yellow hair phase in high school had ended and now changed to a rather nice faded blonde. he would never admit it to anyone but atsumu actually cherished the friendship/rivalry that sakusa and he had built up over the years. it had started when they first met each other at the all japan youth camp and continued until high school graduation. they had never exchanged numbers and gradually lost contact but every once in awhile, atsumu’s mind would think about how sakusa was doing. there was even a time where he imagined himself falling in lo-
atsumu stopped himself before he let his mind wander any further. feelings from before forgotten, atsumu wanted to focus on catching up with sakusa.
“it’s been so long since we’ve last seen each other omi-omi, let me treat you ta somethin’,”
sakusa raised his eyebrows, he was clearly skeptical about atsumu’s proposition but he must have some kind of trust in atsumu because he agreed.
“okay, but you’re paying.”
atsumu grinned.
“well i did say it was my treat!”
—
as promised, atsumu pays for them both and they walk to sit down at a table in the corner of the cafe. sakusa, of course, wiped down the table but didn’t clean it any further.
“not gonna whip out a hazmat suit and spray down the entire store?”
“shut up.”
he laughed. it was awkward at first, after all, what do you say to someone you haven’t seen in almost 6 years? there was the awkward small talk before their orders arrived but after that, they fell into easy conversation about their lives. the changes that have occurred since high school, old friends and lost contacts, random rambling, and new interests. sometime during their conversation, atsumu discovers that sakusa is actually working in tokyo as an accountant. when he had told him that he was a lawyer, sakusa had actually snorted in amusement.
“it suits you. being paid to argue with people i mean,”
atsumu’s eyebrow twitched with both annoyance and amusement.
“i’ll have you know omi-kun, i’m an amazing lawyer, i just won a huge case!”
“they must’ve gotten annoyed of you already.”
despite his harsh words, there was never any hint of malice in sakusa’s voice. atsumu was extremely grateful that he was able to tease sakusa with no restraint. he had always been a little too bratty and overbearing for some people. especially being born a twin, atsumu was constantly compared to osamu. this definitely caused some self-worth and confidence issues over the years but with sakusa, he felt free. sakusa could counter each and every remark with one of his own, even being able to make atsumu laugh sometimes. his blunt and sarcastic personality was endearing in his own way.
time flew by as the two of them talked. none of them even noticed how late it was until a cafe worker had to ask them to leave because they were closing. now that they were out in the dark of night, atsumu only just realized how cold it was. the sharp winter breeze that bit at his skin made him shiver. while he loved winter and the things that came with it, he actually hated the cold. atsumu shivered, but then he felt a soft warmth around his neck.
“here, take it before you freeze to death.”
oh, oh . atsumu turned to face sakusa as his hands moved to tie the beige scarf he was previously wearing around atsumu’s neck. he could feel his face heating up in embarrassment while his mind was racing. when had sakusa become this relaxed with him? his heart swelled at the thought that sakusa cared enough to lend him his scarf. his voice was soft and heartfelt when he replied.
“thanks, omi-kun,”
they stood in comfortable silence, none of them saying anything for it might’ve ruined the moment. it was a few minutes later before sakusa cleared his throat and said something.
“well, it’s late so bye.”
atsumu smiled and waved.
“see ya omi.”
on the walk back to his apartment, he couldn’t stop the dopey grin that never left his face. atsumu’s dreams that night were plagued with the thoughts of a certain black-haired beauty.
—
atsumu had never expected that night to become a regular occurrence. just on a whim, he had come back to the cafe the following friday night with the slight hope of bumping into sakusa again. to say the least, atsumu was mildly surprised to see sakusa already tucked away at the same table they were in last week. this became a routine thing. every friday night, they would meet at the same cafe and sit down at the same table and talk until they were kicked out. it was a pleasant end to each stressful week of work.
when had it last been that atsumu took a break?
these meetups with sakusa were where he genuinely enjoyed himself, there was no worrying about how someone perceived him. he was comfortable being able to talk to sakusa with no restraint. even if he acted as if he would rather be anywhere but with him, sakusa was always paying attention to everything atsumu said. it made him feel wanted, it made him feel....
loved.
they would talk about everything under the sun, conversations were full of teasing and shameless flirting from atsumu. slowly, he started to notice the small things about sakusa. the way his eyes would crinkle in the corners while he smiled underneath his mask, the little huff or snort of an occasional laugh, the way that sakusa would always order the same thing every time (a black coffee and a slice of vanilla cake), the way he would overdress even for winter, the way he would meticulously wipe down the table from right to left every time, and the way his eyes would reflect each and every one of his emotions. he was also starting to notice the changes in himself. if you asked him when it had started, he wouldn’t be able to tell you an exact moment but atsumu had slowly come to accept the fact that he was falling for sakusa.
and he was falling hard.
—
at first, atsumu thought today would just be another comfortable friday night. he had especially been looking forward to seeing sakusa because he had had a rough week dealing with a stubborn client. it started out the same as always, they ordered their drinks and food, sat at the same table tucked away in the corner, and enjoyed each other’s company. when they had been kicked out of the cafe, atsumu lingered outside for a little while longer. he huffed out of both exhaustion and excitement.
“almost don’t wanna leave ya right now omi-omi.”
sakusa didn’t skip a beat before he spoke in a soft voice, almost a whisper.
“then don’t.”
atsumu had to do a double-take at that. he stared, eyes wide, at sakusa who still had an indifferent expression on his face. his eyes were staring intently at atsumu, waiting for an answer. when the words finally processed through his brain, he opened his mouth and closed it a few times, trying to find the words to respond to sakusa.
“...what d’ja mean by that omi-kun?”
there was a pause before sakusa spoke again.
“exactly what i said. if you want, we can go back to my apartment and share a few drinks.”
atsumu’s brain was on the verge of exploding. one of atsumu’s constant flirting habits was to joke about sakusa letting atsumu go to his apartment. as much as he was an asshole, he would never actually force sakusa to do something out of his comfort zone. but now that he was actually offered, he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or if sakusa’s brain had been fried by numbers.
“of course i would love to go omi but are ya sure ya want me to come? i mean like i don’t think i’m dirty but are ya really sure? i don’t wanna make ya uncomfortable or anything.”
“if i wasn’t comfortable with it, i wouldn’t have offered. plus, i’ve more comfortable with my mysophobia since high school. let’s go.”
sakusa quickly started to walk towards his apartment and atsumu was left running to catch up to him. an elated smile was plastered on atsumu’s face as he walked alongside sakusa. he was finally going to omi’s apartment! but at the same time, he was going to omi’s apartment. atsumu was about to enter a private space of the man he had a crush on. oh god, this was not going to end up well.
without even noticing it, they had arrived at sakusa’s apartment. sakusa himself had already opened the door and was waiting for atsumu to enter.
“leave your shoes there. put your bag down beside them, i’ll disinfect it later. and go wash your hands in the sink.”
since they had arrived at sakusa’s apartment, atsumu had been uncharacteristically quiet. only saying thanks after sakusa had offered him a beer.
“what’s wrong with you?”
“huh?”
sakusa snorted “and he’s back,”
without his mask on, atsumu could see the corners of sakusa’s mouth quirk up into the ghost of a smile. not wanting to think about where he was any longer, atsumu made a dramatic show of looking around sakusa’s apartment. it was a nice apartment, very modern but you could barely tell that someone was living there. blank walls and empty shelves lined the apartment. it somehow suited sakusa but also made him appear even more lonely.
“ya really should get some more decorations ‘round here omi-kun, it looks like an ikea showroom or something,”
“it’s simple and easier to clean. too many things would just be a bother to keep track of.”
atsumu’s heart warmed, it was such a sakusa thing to say. he was back to how he was at the cafe; laughing, teasing, food, drinks, and stories. sakusa’s seemed to be physically more relaxed in the comfort of his own home and atsumu made sure not to touch anything unnecessarily just for his sake. something atsumu noticed while they were talking was that sakusa was saying a lot more about himself than he had before.
he talked about his favourite food, his birthday, his favourite animal (which was unsurprisingly a hairless cat), his hobbies, his childhood, and so much more. maybe it was because they were inside sakusa’s apartment, but atsumu was dutifully soaking up every piece of information he offered.
they talked and eventually started to watch a volleyball game on tv for a while. it was nearing 2 am before they noticed how much time had passed. by now, atsumu was tipsy but could still make out words and thoughts in his mind. it was in the middle of a particularly good play where sakusa’s eyes just started to...
shine.
a satisfied smile was on his face and his eyes, oh his eyes. the normally dark green eyes now had a slight shine to them. the glow of the tv could be seen on his irises but you could see happiness and a child-like joy reflected in them. it was marvelous. maybe it was because of the beer but at that moment, atsumu couldn’t help but think that sakusa was just so cute . his heart filled with both warmth and pain, everything was just so overwhelming. atsumu had spent the last few weeks trying to push down his feelings in favour of preserving their unusual friendship. he didn’t want to be selfish and force anything on sakusa, opting to try and convince himself that this was enough. but at this moment, his emotions were just too much.
atsumu was so in love with sakusa .
he didn’t even feel the tears make their way down his face until sakusa turned towards him.
“...atsumu?”
atsumu flinched. his voice was clogged in his throat. the worry in sakusa’s eyes just made his heart burn harder. he tried so hard to speak but all that came out was a choked sob. atsumu decided that if was sakusa was going to hate him after this, he might as well get all of his emotions out at the same time. after all, it’s better to get his heart broken once rather than twice.
“it’s just... i like ya so much omi. everything ‘bout ya makes my stupid little heart feel like it’s burstin’, the way ya aren’t afraid to talk back to me, the way ya do everything all in, the way yer eyes crinkle in the corners when ya smile, the way yer eyes shine when ya see a good volleyball play, the way yer just so... you. and i get it that ya don’t feel the same way as i do and that yer probably gonna never want ta see me again but i just-“
atsumu couldn’t even finish his confession. his head was buried in his arms as he was just full-on sobbing now. atsumu rarely cried, often choosing to bottle up his emotions like a ticking time bomb. but today, he had just exploded. he was violently sobbing on the couch while sakusa was probably glaring at him wishing that he was dead. what he didn’t expect to happen was the feeling of strong arms wrapping around him and the soft whisper in his ear.
“god, you’re such an idiot.”
atsumu cried even harder at that, he relished in the soft feeling of what he guessed was sakusa’s arms. he was willing to take as much pity as he can get while sakusa was offering it. it was almost an hour later before atsumu had finally calmed down. the entire time, sakusa was rubbing his back is short, soft strokes. it was so tender that it made his heart clench.
eyes now dry, atsumu slowly tried to remove himself from sakusa’s arms, not wanting him to force himself to pity him any longer. but he didn’t move, rather he couldn’t. sakusa’s arms were tight around him with atsumu’s own head tucked underneath his chin.
“omi-kun ya don’t have to do this anymore ya know. i don’t want ya to feel obligated ta do anythin’ just for m-“
atsumu froze. he wasn’t dreaming was he? soft lips kissed his temple in the tender way that someone’s mother would to their child. atsumu slowly lifted his head to see sakusa’s eyes boring into his own, raw with emotion. there was a warmth to them, something tender, that made atsumu know for sure that this was genuine.
“i like you too, idiot.”