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Puck loved his Nana. She was the one to raise him. After his dad left, his mom had to work two jobs just to keep the house so she was almost never home. His Nana was there though. She was always there.
She was the one to clean the scrapes on his knees when he fell off his bike. She was the one who took him to Temple and helped him study for his Bat Mitzvah, become a man. She was the one who took him out for ice cream when he got his heart broken for the first time in sixth grade. She was the one who held him and let him cry into her shoulder when he had to give up Beth. She was always there for him, and loved him, no matter what.
When she died, he didn’t know what to do.
A couple weeks after she took him to Temple to pray for Kurt’s dad with him, she got sick. She had been perfectly fine before that, she was very healthy for an old woman. But one day she got really dizzy and passed out. Puck wasn’t too worried; his Nana was the strongest person he knew. He figured that maybe the late September heat had gotten to her or something. He was wrong.
It was cancer, really advanced too. Puck couldn’t understand. She had been fine, as healthy as a horse, strong as an ox and all that just yesterday, but now she was sick, really, really sick.
If the doctors had caught it early, then maybe they could have saved her, but as it was, they caught it in a very late stage. Puck watched as they gave her treatment, hoping for a miracle. He went to Temple on his own and got the entire Synagogue to pray for her. It didn’t help.
After a few days, it was obvious that the treatment wasn’t working. The doctors said all they could do was make her comfortable, but Nana wanted to come home. She wanted to be with her family. Him and his mom took turns playing nurse, it helped that his mom actually was a nurse now, and Puck only left his Nana’s side if he absolutely had to. He played bridge with her, talked with her about everything and anything, and listened as she retold stories from her past. She told the good ones, the ones from after she came to America, after the all the bad stuff that she’d been through, that made her strong.
She told him about her first love, and her second, and how the third time really was the charm because she married her third love and created this beautiful family. She told him what his father was like before he turned into the selfish man that left his family to try and fail to be a rock star. She told him how he was like as a baby, constantly fussy with his mother or father, but completely at peace with her.
She told him how much she loved him and how proud she was of him. She told him that it was up to him to look after their family. She told him not to be too sad when she was gone, because she’d always be with him.
After a week of being home, a week of card games and stories and tears and laughter, his Nana passed. It happened in her sleep, and Puck was the first to find out when he brought her breakfast that morning. He kissed her on the forehead then sat on the edge of her bed, put his head in his hands and cried. He cried for a long time. He didn’t stop crying when his mom got off her night shift and found him there with her. He didn’t stop crying when she made phone calls and arrangements. He didn’t stop crying when he held his little sister while they took his Nana away. He didn’t stop crying when his mom put her hands on his shoulders muttered about how it was just like when he was little. He didn’t stop crying as he skipped lunch and dinner. He didn’t stop when he went to bed.
By the time the funeral came, he was all out of tears. He stood in front of her grave stoically, and held Sarah as she cried into his side. But once the funeral was done and the celebration of her life, he was angry. Angry and in a dark place because whenever he was upset he would talk to his Nana, but now she was gone and he had no one.
That’s when he made one of the biggest mistakes of his life.
He broke out his fake ID, the one his Nana didn’t know about, and headed for the liquor store. He drowned himself in Jack Daniels before walking home then getting into his mom’s car.
He wasn’t sure what he intended to do, other than drive. He can’t remember if he wanted to steal that ATM or he had just crashed into it. It was all a blur, but the next thing he knew, he was in Juvie and he couldn't stop thinking that his Nana wasn’t so proud of him anymore.