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Chapter Text

The concept of soulmates was one as old as time, told forth through generations on end. The tale of the others who are fated to complement your very being, who are, supposedly, meant to be your other parts, to feel your very pain, has been integrated into society since long before anyone can remember. And, as comes with anything, people will doubt the idea, will deny fate, will go against destiny. Yet, fate always has its way, always brings together the doubtful. And, as the tale goes, your soulmates will know and understand your pain, being able to feel it themselves, in one way or another.

The concept of one having multiple soulmates is not foreign, and it is as much of a known fact as the sky being blue and ice being cold, or your soulmates not necessarily being your romantic partners. And yet, Kirito, stupidly, had thought he ran out of possible soulmates, after meeting Asuna, who, it turned out, wasn’t meant to be his romantic soulmate, as they had learned after they encountered Yuuki. He was perfectly fine with remaining best friends, or as close as they could get, with his soulmate, so he didn’t think he’d need any other.

That, as it turns out, was not his brightest idea. Truthfully, he should’ve known. Should’ve figured it out by how easily their bond became unbreakable. By how when he was with him, he felt as though he could let go of all the walls he had built up over the years in order to still seem like the “hero” that everyone admired. There were many signs that he should have noticed, from how when next to him all his worries seemed gone, and how they perfectly complemented each other, despite being nearly total opposites. And yet, he didn’t notice any of them.

Not even in the cave near Rulid, when Eugeo and he went to rescue Selka, and his dear friend, which now seemed like a word unworthy of calling him, had taken a blow to his mid-section. In all senses, he should’ve noticed how as soon as the weapon made contact with Eugeo’s skin, his very own body started to hurt, barely-there pain. How when he and Selka tried to heal Eugeo, with each part of his life being transferred to his soon-to-be partner, he felt just as restless and tired as he felt alive.

Or the countless wounds and bruises they gathered along their road to Centoria that seemed to be mirrored on each other. Phantom pains that seemed to linger, seemingly coming from nowhere, and yet very much still present. In his defense, the topic of soulmates in the Underworld was not one they had really talked about. Soulmates were fated ones that would find their way to you and you would find your way to them. The residents of the Underworld seemed far more preoccupied with attending to their Calling and not disobeying the Taboo Index, which particularly was against the touch of lips before marriage, so everyone thought that you’d meet your soulmate when you met them and you would know it’s them.

And although the concept of soulmates didn’t seem to make its way into their conversations, Eugeo being far more concerned with getting to Centoria and getting Alice back, as well as Kirito’s allegedly lost memories, though he would deny it, than soulmates (and he thought those were all very valid thing to be worried about), Kirito should have noticed all the signs.

Throughout the whole 2 years they spent inseparable, not once had Kirito pondered the idea that his partner could be his actual soulmate. They seemed to fit so well it seemed natural like they were two lost puzzle pieces finally finding each other, and, now, he supposes that is what a soulmate is, a person who fits next to you perfectly, and yet they’re your very opposite. With Eugeo’s seeming responsible nature contrasting his own, as he would put it, “childish” one, and the way they would fight about the dumbest of things and yet could never imagine their lives without the other, they seemed to be a perfect pair. As much as Kirito complained about Eugeo waking him up in the morning, he could never deny the fondness he secretly felt at seeing his best friend, his partner, first thing in the morning light, just as how Eugeo could no deny the slight fondness he felt in his chest every time Kirito came home with honey pies, although the fondness was initially overrun by annoyance, as his fellow swordsman far too often decided that coming through the window, instead of the actual door, like, you know, any normal sane person, was a far better idea. These were all signs that Kirito didn’t seem to notice.

If the rest hadn’t been clear giveaways, which they had been, Kirito just failed to notice them, the night when Eugeo broke the Seal of the Right Eye could not have written it out more for him. He was still out in the rain, late to be home as usual, and he knew Eugeo would probably lecture him about it (and he should have let the thought bother him far more than it actually did, but Eugeo was incredibly endearing when he did it, almost looked like a mother hen, and it amused Kirito to no end) when trainee Frenica came to warn him about Eugeo heading towards Humbert and Raios’ quarters after she mentioned to him Tiese and Ronye not returning after they went to confront the two Higher Class Noblemen Elite Disciples. This news immediately sent Kirito into alarmed mode: he knew how cruel Humbert and Raios and how… easily angered Eugeo was, despite his polite and responsible appearance. He broke out into a sprint towards the dormitories, because deep down he knew that only chaos could ensue if he didn’t stop this immediately. By the time he had arrived at his and Eugeo’s dorm, he started to feel a quiet throb behind his right eye, with pain increasing by the second. He barely managed to grab his black sword, which he would really need to give a name to, he dismissed as a thought, before his entire body locked up in pain that appeared out of nowhere. The pain in the Underworld felt as real as the one that he could feel in the real world, even worse one might say, with the Pain Absorber turned off and all that. But this felt unreal. He felt as though his entire skull was about to cave in, and yet he couldn’t have cared less, because people he cared deeply about were in danger. So, with a hand against the wall, and the other holding his sword, he made his way as quickly as he could towards the fellow Elite Disciples’ dorm.

When he did eventually arrive, the sight that beheld him was... quite grotesque to say the least: their valets, Tiese and Ronye were tied up, on the bed, with blood splattered all over them; said blood came from Humbert’s left arm which was nearly completely missing. Next to the bed, Eugeo was kneeling down, and he looked in so much pain, even more than he was in, rather inexplicably, right now, and was his eye bleeding?! Above him, Raios raised his sword, and before Kirito could even register the scene before him, he had already moved in front of Eugeo, blocking the other Elite Disciple’s sword from striking his partner, who looked very much surprised at Kirito’s sudden appearance.

That evening’s events ended with Raios’ fluctlight dying, causing Humbert’s own flutclight to go crazy, and make him take off running through the hallways, screaming about how they were murderers, which was, technically, not the truth, they hadn’t murdered anyone, but they still had broken the Taboo Index, which, in Kirito’s honest opinion, was bullshit, but what could he do. How could doing what was right be considered a crime?! After an Integrity Knight was sent from the Axiom Church's Central Cathedral, who actually turned out to be Alice, the very girl they were searching for, except it seemed that it wasn’t the Alice that Eugeo had known, going by how she slapped him away, which Kirito very much felt, although he didn’t think much of it, they were taken in as criminals and thrown into the Church’s prison.

Their escape from the Axiom Church’s actual prison was easier than Kirito would have thought it to be. The tower’s gardens were full of magnificent flowers, that turned out to be roses, one very rare flower in the Underworld, and actually illegal to grow, he thought he remembered, and Eugeo actually confirmed, because Eugeo always was more studious than him, always knew much more than him when it came to pure knowledge. And, looking at his partner in the rose-filled garden, he was quite proud of how far he’d come: from wasting his days away chopping at the Gigas Cedar, to training at the North Centoria Imperial Sword Mastery Academy, where he confessed he still had fears about Kirito leaving him after he regained his memories, which Kirito hadn’t actually lost in the first place, but he didn’t need to know that, to now being considered a criminal by the Axiom Church. Yes, being a criminal wasn’t something to be proud of, but that was beside the point. He felt a weird sort of pride in knowing he was there for Eugeo throughout the entirety of his journey. Of course, that didn’t stop him from teasing him about still wanting to try and recover Kirito’s memories, and although part of him felt bad for had been lying to Eugeo for so long, it was still endearing knowing he cared so much. It made something inside of him, that he couldn’t quite place, ache. He would eventually tell him the truth. After they had rescued Alice, he would tell him the truth.

After they had fleed from the fight against Eldrie Woolsburg, or Eldrie Synthesis 31, as he introduced himself, they stumbled upon Cardinal, from which Kirito learned not only the true nature of the Underworld’s supreme ruler, Administrator, or Quinella as the sage had referred to, but of what was to happen to the world he had grown to love so incredibly much. He could not let it get destroyed. He especially couldn’t lose Eugeo, his partner of more than two years. He would not forgive himself if he ever let such a thing happen.

The climb to the Cathedral’s 100th floor was filled with battles, from the one against Deusolbert (in which Kirito had actually needed to stop Eugeo from full-on murdering someone), to the one against Fanatio, which filled Kirito with literal holes (he had heard Eugeo give a grunt of pain, and actually wondered if Eugeo had gotten hurt, worry taking over immediately), which was preceded by getting more or less kidnapped by Fizel and Linel (after being poisoned, which he felt before actually getting stabbed, but paid it no mind, because the universe could have thrown the biggest sign ever at him, and yet he wouldn’t notice it).

It was during their next battle that they reunited with Alice, and he and Eugeo had gotten separated. He did not like this turn of events in the slightest. Being apart from Eugeo just felt wrong, but he couldn’t place the reason why for the life of him. It probably had to do with the fact that they had grown so close (not entirely wrong), but it felt like it was more than just that (correct).

As he and Alice, who really disliked him, began climbing the tower, he felt those phantom pains begin to reappear, but, because he was Kirito, he paid them little to no mind.

When they finally got to the Morning Star Lookout, a burning pain placed itself right in the middle of his forehead, a sting and throbbing that nearly took his vision and balance away. It didn’t last long, and yet it filled Kirito with sudden dread.

After talking with Bercouli, who was encapsulated in Eugeo’s signature ice (which impressed Kirito as much as it worried him, because Eugeo’s sword was still here, and he never left without it), they chased Chudelkin (a horrid creature, truly), up to the 99th floor, where it disappeared.

When he and Alice arrived on the 99th floor of the tower, you might as well had plunged him into an ice bath and he still wouldn't have been in such a shock. Because there, before them, stood his best friend, his partner of over two years, one of the people he held dearest to his heart. Or he supposed it wasn't really Eugeo, because this Eugeo's eyes were cold and dark, his warm green eyes dulled to look like the deepest parts of murky water, and so unlike the dazzling ones he grew accustomed to, the ones that greeted him every morning.

Before he can even register what he's doing, his feet move towards Eugeo, or towards what seems to be Eugeo. Alice, who thankfully wasn’t in such a shock that rendered her brain functions dead, like Kirito was, stopped him, only to tell him the second-worst thing she could have ever told him (the first-worst thing being that Eugeo died, and Kirito wasn’t willing to even entertain that thought): Eugeo had been synthesized.

What at first was confusion (why did Eugeo succumb to the synthesization, when did it happen) soon turned into guilt (why wasn't he there to stop it, if only he had been faster), and, finally, dread. A deep sense of utter fear came over him at the prospect that Eugeo might have forgotten him. It was a selfish thing to worry about, he knew, there were many people who cared about his partner and who might have had, most definitely had, become strangers in Eugeo's eyes now, but Kirito at that moment couldn't care less.

Kirito was once again thankful to Alice for bringing his head out of the dark abyss it currently resided in by reminding him that the synthesization ritual was reversible, he had said so himself after all. All they needed to do, all he needed to do, his mind corrected, because who else could have known Eugeo better than him, was to jog Eugeo's memory and hope for the best.

And so, he asked, in fear of the answer that he already knew, if Eugeo remembered him, remembered their two-year journey from Rulid to Centoria, even though deep down he knew the answer would be no, because Eugeo's eyes were still as cold and as dark as they could possibly be.

When Eugeo eventually answered him, Kirito nearly sobbed, because his voice was as indifferent as his eyes, as cold as the ice that sprung out from his sword, sending (metaphorical) icicles straight to his heart, the emotional pain (and slightly physical pain that started to bloom in his chest and make his chest feel like it was going to collapse in on itself) nearly made his determination waver. But that could not happen, Kirito would not leave this place unless he had his best friend back, would do anything to get him back to his shining, and nearly blinding, warmth.

The "thank you" had caught him by surprise, not only because he didn't know why he was thanking him, but because it sounded wrong, his voice devoid of any type of emotion. More confusion came when the Blue Rose Sword, that was on his person, levitated away from him and straight into Eugeo's hand.

Eugeo had declared that he would fight him and a small, nearly minuscule, part of his mind was ecstatic at the prospect of fighting Eugeo, of seeing how far he'd come, if he finally surpassed him like Kirito knew very well he would one day. But all that was drowned, nearly hilariously so, by the dread that he would be fighting Eugeo, but not the Eugeo he knew, the one who would check to make sure Kirito wasn't hurt, in a way that showed just how much he cared, until Kirito shooed him away because yes, Eugeo, I'm fine, no I don't have any wounds, yes I'm feeling well, no, this Eugeo looked like he would not stop until blood was shed and hearts stopped beating. And Kirito was frightened at the idea of hurting his best friend, even if he currently was only a shell of his former self, he couldn't bring himself to watch blood spill from his partner's body, especially if he were the cause of it.

Eugeo had grown since their last duel, that much was very clear. And Kirito noticed it too, during their days at the academy, how Eugeo improved his swordsman skills, and a drop of pride surfaced in him every time. But he hadn't realized just how much he had grown until he was on the other end of his blade, pointing his own towards his best friend, an ugly emotion, that he could not name, twisting around in his chest, like a vermin. When their blades carved into each other's left shoulder, Kirito wanted to scream out: both from the pain caused by the wound, as well as his own twisted feelings because this was wrong, he and Eugeo weren't supposed to hurt each other, they understood the other better than themselves, but this wasn't Eugeo, as his features were all cold and rigid, much like the ice of the Blue Rose Sword, except even the ice was warmer and enveloped everything in a beautiful veil of ice roses that shone like the most beautiful of diamonds, and yet in Eugeo's eyes there was no light, no sparkle of life, and Kirito wanted to lash out and scream his lungs out until Eugeo, the one he knew and cherished, returned. But he couldn't.

So he did the next best thing: he tried to call out the names of the people he knew Eugeo, the one he knew, care about; their pages, their mentors and, finally, Alice. He didn’t dare mention himself. He already knew Eugeo had forgotten about him, and the sting in his heart hurt just as much as it did initially.

The memory of Alice finally seemed to unlock something in Eugeo, or so he had thought, because he stopped, and smiled, and Kirito was ready to start sobbing from happiness. That was until Eugeo slammed his sword into the ground and muttered a quiet Enhance Armament, so devoid of life, and everything was enveloped in ice. But, just as he was about to leave, Kirito caught something in his eyes: a small, but there nonetheless, glint of life. His eyes were finally starting to look green again.

As soon as his eyes landed on Eugeo's face again, the biggest grin he could muster broke onto his face, and he couldn't keep his happiness from showing even if he had tried, even if his life depended on it because his eyes were finally sparkling again, that emerald green that he awoke to see every day, that looked at him with slight amusement and annoyance (and dare he say, affection) whenever he proposed his newest scheme or asked another stupid question, the same sparkling eyes that would light up like the stars whenever his interest was piqued. And those same eyes looked at him now, with slight worry that dissolved as soon as Kirito flashed him a smile, and he returned a smile, with such warmth that he nearly burned Kirito, and such radiance that he seemed to glow.

The urge to scream out until his throat was bleeding returned tenfold as soon as Eugeo's form disappeared and that of a sword came forth. His chest, had it not collapsed already, was bound to implode any moment now. Because Eugeo was most definitely in danger and this was most definitely a suicide mission, because Kirito knew that Eugeo was too kind to let anyone get hurt, that he would rather endure the highest level of pain than to let anyone else feel even a slither of it, and he knew that Eugeo felt guilty about attacking Kirito, about succumbing to the synthesization ritual, he knew because he could read Eugeo like an open book, just like Eugeo could read him. And so he knew, from the very depths of his soul, of his fluctlight, that Eugeo's plan was to sacrifice himself, and Kirito would not stand for it, he would try his damnest to stop him. Or at least, that was his plan, before he saw cracks begin to show on the sword's blade, on Eugeo's body, he realised faintly, and then all his limbs turned to stone. Somewhere, distantly, he heard someone screaming, and then he realised that the one screaming was him, and that he had been doing it for quite a few minutes now, judging by the dryness of his throat.

As soon as he saw Eugeo's body on the floor, bisected and limp, his world went numb.

Had he been paying attention to anything else besides the colour draining from his partner's face, he might have felt the excruciating pain that came from his midsection, and he might have heard the silent scream he gave out, but all he could focus on was his best friend, on the cold cathedral floor, in a pool of blood. And his very will to live was punched out of him.

His best friend was still limp, lifeless, on the floor, and Kirito was praying to every higher being that would listen for him to wake up, to get up and show him that warm smile that twisted Kirito's insides into knots and burned his very eyes with how bright it was, and to tell him he was fine, that he was not dead.

As soon as he thought the word, he nearly vomited his intestines out. A crushing pain was pushing down on his chest, rearranging his ribs and lungs and constricting his heart in a way that felt like it was getting impaled by thousands of tiny glass pieces. His stomach felt empty, like it was replaced by an endless void that threatened to consume his very being.

When he eventually managed to get up, thanks to Cardinal's encouragement to not let their deaths (and Kirito still nearly choked on air at the word, a deep agony twisting around in his chest and nearly punching all the air out of him) be in vain, and Alice blocking a swing from Administrator that, in his state, would have probably fatally wounded him, new emotions bubbled up in him, past the agony and misery: a new sorrowful determination, and sheer rage and anger.

He fell to his knees after only a minute or so of trying to fight Administrator: his will was weak, he couldn't do it. Vaguely, he noticed something wet was soaking through his clothes, and when he looked down, a choked-up sob made his way past his lips at the sight: it was blood. And yet, it wasn't his. He was afraid to look at the source of the crimson liquid; he knew very well where it came from, and yet he couldn't stop his eyes from wandering to a certain blue-clothed body. His eyes, tired and exhausted, his mind made a note of, looked over the blue clothing, now stained red, and ripped in two at the midsection, a sight which made his heart fall into his stomach and be swallowed up by the abyss. Somewhere, he heard Administrator threaten him, but everything was muted, subdued. He responded back to her: she could try and torture him for the rest of eternity, kill him if she pleased, for he could not care. He had wasted all of their deaths, Cardinal's, Charlotte's, Eugeo's.

It was then, that he heard a voice, quiet, incredibly so, and yet it seemed so crystal clear, piercing through the darkness in his mind like an arrow of light, bringing back his senses. He hadn't thought he would ever hear this voice again, outside of his nightmares.

It was Eugeo's voice.

Eugeo was speaking.

Eugeo wasn't dead.

"It isn't like you to give up.."

It was whispered between almost out-there breaths by a voice on the point of vanishing, and yet filled with as much warmth as before.

Kirito moved his eyes slowly, painfully so, towards his best friend's, his dearest friend's, his partner's face, towards those green eyes that would always envelop his senses in a blanket of comfort. And now, as he looked at Eugeo's eyes, their usual vibrant green was fading, their sparkle and shine nearly gone, his head, that was filled with thousands of thoughts before, was suddenly empty and silent.

His name was ripped out from Kirito's lips, faint and filled with disbelief and sorrow.

His thoughts came back a thousand a mile, and yet his head still felt silent and empty. Looking at Eugeo pained him far more than any weapon could: his midsection was completely split in two, organs and blood spilling out from abdomen, painting a gruesome picture. He could not imagine the pain his partner was in: he himself had barely sustained a blow from the Golem, and here was Eugeo, split in two, and still alive. It should have been a miracle his fluctlight hadn't combusted from the pain, but he knew this was a show of Eugeo's strength, of his growth.

Eugeo showed a ghost of a smile, pained and yet still radiant, and tears threatened to flow out of Kirito's eyes, barely restrained.

Eugeo began to talk again, and Kirito was nearly wrecked by a sob once again as he heard his voice, still as strong as ever.

He spoke of memories long forgotten by them both, of the three of them, Eugeo, Alice and himself, and of Kirito's courage to stand up to the Integrity Knight when Alice was taken, while he stood there in fear. At some point during Eugeo's talk, Kirito's eyes glossed over, as tears, hot and heavy and full of pain and sorrow, began to spill forth.

"So this time, it's my turn to nudge you forward."

Kirito watched, tears still in his eyes, as Eugeo, with a trembling hand, almost devoid of strength, picked up what was left of the Blue Rose Sword, and then performed what only two people, now one, in the entire Underworld should have been able to do: the once Blue Rose Sword had transformed into one of a brilliant crimson, deed capable only because of the strengths of his will.

Words were whispered into Kirito's mind, an encouragement to stand up again no matter what, and a promise was whispered back.

The fight with Administrator went far better than his first attempt, his will renewed by Eugeo's words: he would not let this chance go to waste.

Administrator had finally been defeated, albeit in a rather different way than what Kirito had been expecting, and it cost him an arm (and had Kirito been paying attention he might have heard the slight gasp of pain that came from his partner), but he considered it a small price to pay, and now the Cathedral's top floor now lay in silence, only shallow breaths made themselves heard.

Kirito made his way as quickly as he could towards Eugeo's slowly dying body: he would not let him die, he could still save him, he told himself as he extended a hand towards the other's midsection, and chanted a Sacred Art, trying, desperately trying to heal him, even though he knew it was most likely futile, he would refuse to listen to reason. As adrenaline began to wear off, frustration began to bubble up in his chest. He would not accept it. Would refuse and refuse again until Eugeo was safe again.

As he desperately, pathetically, some would say, tried to pour all his life into the body in front of him, he mindedly began to chant and scream Eugeo's name. All reason had been thrown out the window, and his only goal was bringing Eugeo back, even if it cost him his life.

And then again, quietly, he heard his name being called out by that same voice that used to reprimand him and his choices, and a gasp, filled with tears, escaped him as he finally brought his eyes to look at his dearest friend's face.

Eugeo looked, to put it simply, as if all the blood had drained from his body, which, in theory, wasn't far from the truth. His skin looked like porcelain, incredibly pale, and losing more colour by the second. His eyes, and Kirito always found himself looking at his eyes, were still barely green, still warm despite losing their vibrancy, and it twisted Kirito's heart. He desperately tried again to heal him, to do anything, but a hand, as cold as ice, was placed upon his, rendering Kirito immobile.

Kirito tried to call out his name through trembling lips, but a sob escaped instead, a sob weaved with pain and sorrow like he had never felt before.

A phrase spilt forth from Eugeo's lips, one that Kirito himself had taught him. He said it with a faint smile, one that could have had Kirito plucking the sun out of the sky and giving it to him if only he had asked.

"Stay cool.."

It was whispered with such warmth and radiance that challenged the very Solus that the people of Underworld praised, and if Kirito's heart could have shattered into a thousand little pieces, it would have. He felt his chest incredibly tight, nearly rendering him out of breath, and new tears began to spill, though from where they came Kirito could not tell, as he was sure he had cried himself dry.

Eugeo had tried to reassure him it was okay, which Kirito profusely denied, because Eugeo was dying and he would not accept it and he would do anything, anything, to keep him safe, and he shouted, he screamed because everything was not okay.

If this were to be destiny, Kirito would gladly punch it in the face: he would not let the person he holds dearest, the one he had travelled and lived with for over 2 years, the one with whom he felt like he could let down his walls and bear his heart on his sleeve, and know that Eugeo would protect it as if it was his own, the one that truly felt like his other half, he would not let him die.

Eugeo, who still showed no sign of pain despite his state, simply smiled and confessed what Kirito was fearing: Eugeo blamed himself for being weak, for falling under Administrator's spell, for turning his blade on Kirito, but Kirito would not allow this. He would not allow Eugeo to blame himself for anything, and he had told him so, had screamed it out into the nearly empty room. And yet, Eugeo didn't waver. He simply smiled.

And then, with a confession (though not the type that Kirito's soul ached for, unknowingly), a memory was dug up from the deepest corners of their fluctlights, a memory filled with sun and wind, of chopping away at wood until it became a sword, of a secret in the middle of a clearing, of gifts and love and tears and joy…

And as the memory faded, Eugeo's voice, that sounded so far away that it made Kirito's heart ache, told him, softly, "Don't cry..". And, as the whisper left his lips, so did his strength, his hand that had been clutching Kirito's falling limply on the floor.

With his hand over his chest, Kirito promised to keep such treasured memories in the deepest corners of his heart, promised he would never forget them. As the words were spoken into the empty air, the glint from Eugeo's eyes disappeared, his vision as well, as he called forth to Kirito, somewhere in the darkness of his vision.

Kirito had tried to embrace him, or as best he could with only one arm, as Eugeo whispered into his chest, his Life seconds away from being completely drained. He talked of the Gigas Tree and of Kirito's sword and of the stars, and Kirito held him, his tears flowing endlessly, accompanied by a pained sob every so often.

And, as Eugeo's body began to fade away to light particles, Kirito felt as if his souls was being torn in half: he understood, far too late, regrettably, why he held Eugeo so close to his heart, why he felt safest when they were together.

And yet, nothing could be done now.

Chapter Text

Asuna had been the first one to ask Rath about any possible way to bring Kazuto's best friend from the Underworld, Eugeo, back, and somehow give him an artificial body, just like they had with Alice. Asuna had seen the empty look in Kazuto’s eyes, the one he still had even weeks after exiting the Underworld. The way his smiles, while still genuine, hid pain that she could relate to, after having lost Yuuki herself. And yet, she knew not how to comfort him.

After hearing the stories from Ronye, Tiese, Sortiliena and Alice back in the Underworld, on that fateful night, that they spent away retelling stories of Kazuto, or Kirito, as he was known there, she had concluded that Kazuto and Eugeo had been extremely close. It was only fair, they had spent two years next to each other’s side, inseparable. Asuna even began to form a theory, but she could neither confirm nor refute it without directly asking Kazuto, but she abstained from doing that. She saw, and slightly related to, the phantom pains that swirled dark in his eyes, that he tried to hide behind bright smiles because even if he was suffering, he was still Kazuto, and he would never let anyone know of his pain. She saw the ghosts of the past that still haunted him, invading his mind and soul, and planting seeds of dulled sorrow into his heart.

All she could do for now was pray that Rath could find a way to bring this Eugeo, that Kazuto held so close, back. Even if they weren’t able to build him a body, Asuna knew that just hearing his voice would alienate Kazuto’s pain, probably even drive him into trying to build him a body himself, because Kazuto was determined, some would say stubborn, when it came to what he held dear.

The second to ask about it was Kazuto's sister, Suguha. Apparently, if what she told was true, and Rath couldn’t find any reason for it not to be, the evening after he had completed his rehab and returned home, he finally broke down, emotions overflowing, and sobbed his heart out, let all pent up pain and sorrow flow out.

Suguha had managed to convince him into telling her about this Eugeo that had brought her brother so much grief, and was quite the infamous person in their little group by now, and saw the way her brother spoke about him: the way his lips trembled, the way his eyes, still red from crying, would sparkle when he talked about something stupid they did (read: Kazuto did, and Eugeo got roped into the aftermath), how he showed a soft smile, a ghost of his former ones, but still bright nonetheless, nearly all throughout his retelling, and how his eyes seemed to gloss over with unshed tears every so often. His voice was full of raw emotion, the likes of which Suguha had only seen from her brother very few times. Thus, it was only natural that she understood just how deeply her brother cared about this Eugeo that she never got to meet, that they never got to meet.

And so, she asked Rath about any way to bring him back, any way to bring back the only person that she thought could heal her brother's scars. Deep down she knew it was probably futile, but she was his sister, even if not biologically, so they were both very stubborn.

The third person to ask was Shino. It really came as no surprise that the girl would too notice Kazuto's pain. The boy had stubbornly helped her with her own pain, never giving up (which at the time infuriated Shino to no end, even if now she recalls the memories fondly), so it was only fair Shino had tried to help him in any way she could.

Shino was not blind, quite the opposite, she had one of the sharpest of eyes: she saw how Kazuto would flinch whenever he saw a sliver of blonde hair in his peripheral, or when his eyes met green ones, a muted darkness would take over his mind. She saw how he seemed to get a nostalgic air about him every time he saw flowers, especially roses, and how he would tense up around a certain shade of blue. Shino was a smart girl, she made the connections: the grief from his past was still haunting Kazuto, but he tried to conceal the pain, tried to not let it show, and did a terrible job at it. His deep agony, the one that had let scars across his heart and soul, or fluctlight, it showed on his face and his actions.

Time was supposed to heal a broken heart, they say, but Kazuto’s heart didn’t seem to do any healing, only to continue to wallow in faded despair.

The fourth one to ask Rath, demand rather than ask, although politely, that they try to look into bringing Eugeo back, was Alice.

She, out of all of the 4 girls, out of everyone but Kazuto (as she had learned that his name was), was the only one who had actually met Eugeo, although briefly, during their time in the Cathedral. And although she couldn't remember their childhood days, she knew her and Eugeo, as well as Kirito (she was still getting used to calling him Kazuto), had been the best of friends.

She had seen the heartbroken look on Kirito's face when the two of them met with Eugeo Synthesis 32 on the 99th floor, she had seen the happiness that radiated off of his smile when they reunited on the floor above (even if only minutes prior Eugeo had tried to murder them on account of Administrator, and had frozen them in ice, though that seemed to matter not to the black-haired swordsman), she had heard Kirito's cries and pleas and sobs after his fight with Administrator, even though she was mostly unconscious; she heard the begs for Eugeo to stay alive, the pain and agony had been clear in Kirito’s voice. She had known his pain before anyone: she took care of him after the guilt of losing Eugeo had rendered him catatonic, she knew very well how he couldn't depart from his partner’s (as she heard him call the other boy many times) sword, even as it was broken in half, the faintest slither of desperation present in his dead eyes. And even now, she saw the way he sometimes looked at her pained because she reminded him of him, but she knew Kirito didn’t blame her for Eugeo’s death, Kirito was far too kind to blame anyone else for his pain than himself.

Alice knew his pain better than anyone, knew how deep it ran, knew how much the loss of his best friend had spun his world on its head, and knew that the only way to fill the Eugeo shaped hole inside of Kirito's heart was to bring him back.

The rest of Kazuto's friend noticed his despair too, how every so often he would doze off (when his mind wasn’t riddled with nightmares) and when someone tried to wake him up, a soft Just five more minutes, Eugeo would escape his lips, said as a whisper, filled with more emotion and softness than anything they had heard from him in months; they didn’t mention it to him, as he didn’t seem to notice.

They all saw his pain, and yet they said nothing: they already knew that everything that they could do had already been done. All that was left was to wait and hope for Rath to find a way to bring him back.

Kazuto himself wasn’t blind to the worried looks his friends would throw his way every so often, and it was only natural: his eyes were most often exhausted after nights riddled with insomnia, his smiles weren’t as bright as before. But it wasn’t all bad; he had days where he could relax and forget about what happened, forget about the grief and pain and sorrow, would be able to just live, guilt-free. But it always came back twice as hard, and he reprimanded himself for forgetting; it wasn’t healthy, he knew, but he didn’t have any other coping mechanisms. His heart still clenched and constricted, his guts still writhed in agony every time images of flaxen hair and sparkling green eyes would show themselves in his mind, his hands would still shake and his eyes would still water every time he caught himself thinking of the colour fading from his partner’s face, of the cold skin he held close to his chest with one arm.

Rath themselves saw the demons that clung close to Kazuto’s mind, it was hard not to: Kazuto himself had been angry, incredibly so, at the when he learned that it was because of them that his trusted partner, this Eugeo that had been close to him for over two years, had to endure alone the guilt of losing Alice Zuberg. They tried to look into recovering his fluctlight, even as the data itself had been flung from his lightcube in the Lightcube Cluster. It wasn’t going to be easy to recover data deleted from history, but it wasn’t impossible; they had told Kazuto that once a flutclight died it couldn’t be undone, yes, but that was to try and protect him more than anyone.

And so, they scavenged, for memories and data in the Underworld’s data, tried to piece it together, to save the one fluctlight that Kazuto had cared more for than his very own.

And they succeeded, somehow.

They found him.

They found Eugeo.

Next challenge was keeping him a secret from Kazuto, or at least until he was ready to be thrown out into the true real world. Creating him a body wasn’t as hard as it was creating one for Alice; they had done it once before, they could do it again.

Eugeo, upon being granted his body, looked, to put it lightly, radiant. Everything about Eugeo was filled with a warmth gentler than anything they knew: his flaxen hair seemed to reflect the light in a way that made it look golden, his green eyes were deep and vibrant, carrying a gentleness that surprised them all, seeing all the hardships he’d faced. And yet, his will was unbreakable: there was a strength there that could only be formed by years of biting pain.

His voice was soft, as though his heart had never felt anger or sorrow, but they knew better than to think that. Just under the surface, they could see just how deep his emotions ran: they were complex, confusing, twisting around one another, just like the ones of a breathing human.

There was no doubt that this was Kazuto’s trusted partner.

The first two to see him, and the only ones to see him in real life, out of Kazuto’s friends, were Alice and Asuna. Alice was an obvious choice, Eugeo had woken up in an unknown world after he remembered dying, so of course, he would need a familiar face to calm him down, and they couldn’t exactly get Kazuto to help them, so Alice was the only option left. And it had worked, as soon as Eugeo saw Alice, his panicked confusion turned into just general confusion about his whereabouts and sudden state of being alive. As for Asuna, they needed someone to explain what had happened, what the real world was, why he was there. And who better than the one who had explained everything to Alice in the first place.

Eugeo was smart, incredibly so, and at some point, Asuna recalled stories told by the pages of the two, and how Eugeo was always more studious than Kirito, who needed to be bribed or berated into studying. Seeing him now, Asuna could already imagine the trouble Kazuto had given him, and sympathy bloomed into her chest.

Nonetheless, Eugeo was quite the smart one and picked up quickly on the information that the two girls, as well as the staff at Rath, threw his way. It was impressive, he had only recently awoken into an unknown world, and yet he seemed unphased. Getting him used to the new technology was quite entertaining, and it reminded them of getting Alice accustomed to the new world, but instead of frustration, there was fascination, a spark of interest present at all times in his eyes. It didn’t take much thought to work out how passionate Eugeo was about history.

The first time that they video-called Eugeo it was, as Alice had put it, absolutely chaotic. The rest of Kazuto’s friends were ecstatic to finally be meeting Eugeo, and Eugeo himself was overwhelmed with just how many people there were. It was natural that he would be, he grew up in Rulid, a rather small village, for the first 17 of his life, and even after that, they only people he really interacted with, besides Kirito (it had been weird to find out Kirito’s name wasn’t actually Kirito but Kirigaya Kazuto, and he tried his best to adapt) had been their pages at the academy, and passing people here and there. So he could not be blamed for being nervous for meeting so many people, people that he wanted to leave good impressions on, because they were Kirito’s friends. But his worry (which Alice had called him out on) was all for nought, for they all instantly took a liking to him. It was easy to see how Kazuto had grown so close to him.

The real challenge was managing to make Eugeo an ALO account (and Shino had suggested a GGO account as well but was met with rejection, and a small smile accompanied by a soon whispered from Asuna) without Kazuto noticing. The guy was most often than not logged in, and they couldn’t exactly huddle together and explain everything to Eugeo (who had chosen the Cait Sith as his race, though he looked more like a wolf than a cat) without Kazuto getting suspicious at the big group of his friends that didn’t include him and coming over to investigate. It was exhausting and yet fun. Exhilarating eve.

Eugeo, for one, felt incredibly stressed. He didn’t like keeping secrets from Kirito. They had been together for two years and knew nearly everything about the other (or so Eugeo had thought before finding out Kirito wasn’t actually a Lost Child of Vecta, and hadn’t even lost his memories in the first place, which made all the moments when Eugeo mentioned them and Kirito dismissed the thought awkwardly make that much more sense, but instead came from a different world), so he didn’t like lying. But he understood the goal and meaning behind it, and so he put up with it.

Kazuto was, to say the last, exhausted. He had just come back home from yet another trip around town with Asuna (which in the last few weeks had been more and more frequent, and that raised his suspicion that his friends must be planning something; otherwise, he couldn’t figure out why all of a sudden his friends started inviting out nearly every other day. And it wasn’t even just Asuna. Shino, Alice, his own sister Suguha, Rika, even Klein, and it confused Kazuto beyond comprehension), and he was more than ready to just collapse in his bed and tune out the outside world, but Asuna had accompanied him all the way home, saying she was Just visiting Suguha., but Kazuto didn’t buy it all, something was definitely suspicious. His speculations were confirmed when he actually entered his home and, right there, in their living room he found his sister, which of course was no weird thing, she lived here after all, but also Shino and Alice. On any other day, say maybe, a month ago, he wouldn’t have thought this to be as weird as now and would have probably just excused himself to the comfort of his bedroom. But now, he knew they were planning something. There was absolutely no way that they weren’t.

After a small greeting thrown the girls’ way, he prepared to escape to his bedroom, but, unfortunately, Asuna (who was still behind him he only now noticed), had grabbed his arm.

“Ah, Kirito-kun..”, she began almost nervously, which in return made Kazuto nervous, because why was she nervous, they planned this, whatever this was. “Could we have a word with you?” she continued, throwing a glance to the girls behind him.

He gave a quick nod (because he knew there was no way he was talking himself out of this one, not when they were all together; the girl each individually possessed a will of steel, so them together was something impossible to negotiate with) and was led towards the table in the middle of the room, and promptly sat down. This very much felt like an intervention and Kazuto had a nagging feeling that this was about the events of Underworld and post Underworld, which, frankly, he didn’t feel like talking about. So to say that he was ready to bolt as soon as humanly possible would have been an understatement.

“Kirito-kun...” Asuna began again and then immediately took a pause to find her words. “We have been… worried about you.”

And there it was. Kazuto inwardly, and maybe outwardly, he couldn’t tell, cringed. He really didn’t feel like talking about this.

He must have made some sort of face because Shino sighed and looked around at the other girls, who seemed to be even more nervous than he was, which, again, made absolutely no sense, at least not to him.

“Kirito,” Shino seemed to bite the bullet, no pun intended, “It’s very much evident that you are not okay.”

This conversation was getting more and more awkward by the second, and Kazuto was more than ready to drop everything and run away to his room any moment now.

But, apparently, his hesitation was readable on his face, if the hand Suguha had put on top of his shoulder was any indication. He looked at her, and an expression full of worry was directed straight at him, which made Kazuto’s guts twist in guilt. It’s not like he wanted to make them worry, like he did it on purpose.

Alice was next to speak up, “I will agree that your current condition is... less than optimal”.

Kazuto was ready to open his mouth and defend himself, but Asuna beat him to it.

“That’s why we prepared a surprise for you!” she said, sounding incredibly chipper.

Kazuto was confused. A surprise? Sure, he figured out they planned something, but what kind of surprise were they talking about here.

Looking at the other girls didn’t give him much of a hint, as they all seemed a combination of nervousness and relief.

“It’s in your bedroom,” Alice said, quite bluntly, and Kirito had to do a double, no, a triple take. Why his bedroom? Why couldn’t they have given it to him here? It made no sense, and yet the girls surrounding him made no move to explain or give any other additional details.

He was so deep in thought that when the next person, Shino, spoke up again, he almost jumped.

“Well? Aren’t you going to go check it out?”

“What...” he started but had to stop and cough a few times because his throat was far too dry. “What kind of surprise?”

The four girls looked at one other before Shino spoke up again, “Well, it wouldn’t really be a surprise would then, would it?”

That… was a fair point with which Kazuto couldn’t argue, but that didn’t mean it didn’t frustrate him. None of them seemed like they would tell him any more about this so-called “surprise”, and he started to feel a little bit cornered, with all these eyes on him. Leaving one of the world’s most awkward conversation behind, he made his way towards the staircase that would lead to the second floor. Even as he climbed them, he could feel the others’ eyes on him, burning and piercing, so he quickened his pace.

When he eventually wound up in front of his bedroom door, he hesitated. Which was pretty stupid seeing as it was his bedroom and there was no reason for him to be nervous, but his stomach didn’t seem to get the memo, and it began twisting itself in knots.

He began slowly pushing open the door, when he noticed the silhouette of a person sitting on the bed. His bed. In his room.

What, and excuse his language, the fuck.

He entered the room and was about to question the person what exactly they were doing in his room, only for his throat to close up, his words to die on his tongue, and his mouth to fall open. His eyes fell onto the figure. Somewhere behind him the door softly clicked shut, but he couldn’t have cared less about what happened around him.

The person sitting on his bed had flaxen hair and green eyes. Features that looked incredibly similar to the ones of a long lost friend.

Kazuto tried to say something, anything, but all that came out was a strangled noise that made it sound like he was dying, which he might as well have been. Green eyes looked at him and his heart might have stopped, no, definitely stopped, gave out two last pathetic beats that echoed in his chest and made it feel like it was about to collapse in on itself and all of his insides were about to get thrown out of his body.

Because this couldn’t be him.

Kazuto desperately wanted it to be him, but there was no way it was. He would not let himself hope for something like that.

He continued to stare at the person in front of him incredulously, probably looking either like a dying fish or a madman, because he could not believe it to be who he thought it was, would refuse to believe it. He was in utter disbelief, if you will.

Then, a voice was heard. Kazuto could have been shot straight through his no longer beating heart, because he was sure it gave out a few minutes ago, and it still would’ve hurt less, wouldn’t have made his intestines and stomach feel like they were being ripped apart, wouldn’t have made his throat close up and overfill with what felt like cotton, wouldn’t have brought tears that he didn’t even know he had to his eyes, wouldn’t have made his chest constrict and hurt like that.

“Hi, Kirito.”

It was a simple greeting, and yet, yet, it was spoken in that soft voice that he knew by heart, could have recognised in a sea of others.

It was him. He didn’t know how, but it was, there was no other person in any other world out there that it could be. Kazuto would recognize him in a heartbeat at any place, any time.

It was Eugeo.

It was him, his best friend, his dearest and closest friend, his partner, it was him, with his eyes so full of life one again, vibrant and warm, and Kazuto could write poetry about those eyes, like a lovesick maiden, because they were finally looking at him again and they were alive.

At some point, Kazuto couldn’t pinpoint it, the tears that gathered at the corners of his eyes started to fall. He should have probably been bothered by the fact that Eugeo (and he still couldn’t believe it was him but it was, it had to be) hadn’t even said two words and Kazuto was already in tears, but he couldn’t have cared less. Absentmindedly, somewhere in the very back of his mind, because most of his thoughts consisted of Eugeo Eugeo Eugeo, he realizes he hadn’t even moved from his spot right in front of the door, but he also thought that if he tried to move, he might faceplant onto the floor, because his knees were on the verge of giving out.

He tried to say something again, to call out his name, but only the Eu made it out before his vocal cords gave out, and he took in a shaky breath.

He wanted, needed, to feel Eugeo, to feel that he was alive, that he was indeed there and not some sort of illusion, to make sure that this wasn’t one of his dreams, or rather, nightmares, he so so desperately wanted this to be true, and he didn’t know what he would do if it wasn’t.

Kazuto took a step, two steps, forward before his legs felt like they might crumble away to dust and leave him on the floor. There was an aching need in his chest, somewhere in between suffocating ribs and no longer functioning heart and lungs, that made him want to get as close as he was able, and yet his legs failed him.

Thankfully, Eugeo (it would take a while for him to register the fact that he was alive), seemed to be in a better state than him, (though Kazuto could still see the slight way his hand trembled, and how his eyes seemed just the tiniest bit nervous and wet with unshed tears; he spent two full years next to him; he knew his body languages better than anyone, he was basically an expert at it, he could tell that his nervous ticks were very much there) approached him, and looked like he was about to say something, and would have probably managed to say it if Kazuto hadn’t suddenly grabbed the front of his shirt (and it was blue, of course it was blue) to pull him as close as he could (and he was surprised his arms hadn’t given out and stopped working like the rest of him) because he needed to feel that he was real, that he was right there, that he was alive. And he very much was, a solid body right in front of him, alive and breathing (as alive as a synthetic body could be) and Kazuto actually left out a disbelieving laugh, that was wet with tears, or he thinks he did because his mind was full of static.

He looked at his face, looked at his eyes, that were ever so beautiful, even if wet with tears and red around the edges, and they were looking back at him, just as frantic as he was, and they held so much emotion and depth it nearly drowned Kazuto, a green abyss that he would happily let himself get swallowed up by.

When he indeed confirmed that Eugeo was alive (which was still very much a wild concept to him) and not just some sort of hallucination his brain had come up with, he gently smushed his head right into Eugeo’s shoulder (and was Eugeo taller? he was definitely taller, there was no way that Kazuto could have done this in the Underworld without bending down). He took in another deep breath, let it out with a shaky exhale, and he felt more than he heard Eugeo do the same, even if Kazuto subconsciously knew that he didn’t need air, but that hardly mattered to him now.

His partner (Kazuto was nearly euphoric to be able to say that again) simply put one hand on the small of his back, and one around his shoulders, effectively pulling him into a hug, a soft embrace, cradling him like the most precious thing Eugeo had laid eyes upon. Kazuto, though his hands were shaking (when did that happen?), raised his arms around Eugeo’s back and neck, returning the embrace, and yeah, Eugeo was definitely taller, what was up with that?

They just sat like that for a few moments, or maybe it was more than a few moments, Kazuto didn’t know, he had lost any concept of time as soon as he came into the room. His heart finally started beating again, thought every heartbeat felt like a punch to his chest. Next to his head, Eugeo’s own heart was beating, thought Kazuto knew it wasn’t a real heart, and most likely a device implemented by Rath in their artificial bodies that seemed like a heart, in order to make them seem more real; Alice had one of the same, and Kazuto was positive Eugeo’s physical form, his body, was the work of Rath. Who else could it have been, after all?

Kazuto’s body functions seem to come back to normal, or as normal as they were going to get, and he slowly pulled his head back (without breaking the hug, because he realised that throughout the entirety of the events of Underworld they hadn’t had one hug and this was making up for lost occasions) and looked up at Eugeo. He noticed faint tears in the corners of his eyes, which he was sure he mirrored. Eugeo caught his eye and gave him one of his bright smiles, the one that blinded Kazuto and nearly burned him, even if it was wobbly and wet from emotion, and he wanted to cry again. He probably would’ve, if he had any tears left.

His voice seemed to return and his throat seemed to open up again in order to let sound out, so he spoke in a quiet voice, nearly a whisper, raspy from having cried minutes earlier.

“It’s good to see you again…”

Eugeo looked at him softly before letting out an equally quiet laugh that echoed through Kazuto’s entire being, set every single one of his nerves alight and pulled at his heartstrings in a way that had him suppress a shiver.

“Yeah. It’s good to see you too.”